- 19 hours ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Uh-huh. Yes. Wow.
00:04Okay, and what would I wear for something like this?
00:07I mean, my instinct is to go with some sort of clothing, but that's just me.
00:11Uh-huh. Yeah. Well, thank you.
00:15Okay. Yes, I look forward to it. Bye.
00:20Interesting call.
00:26Phone rang, and I just picked it up.
00:31Ring, hello.
00:35Speaking.
00:36Oh, that's flattering.
00:40What was it, huh?
00:42Oh, the phone? Oh.
00:46Nothing. Not a big deal.
00:47Just I'm going to be featured in an article in Vanity Fair magazine.
00:50Vanity Fair magazine? Not a big deal.
00:53Ellen, that's a huge deal.
00:54I know. I was lying.
00:57It's so exciting.
00:58I mean, there's going to be a picture and an interview.
01:00I mean, the whole kit and caboodle.
01:02The caboodle was the deal clincher for me.
01:05They're going to send a photographer day after tomorrow to the school.
01:08Nobody from Clark has ever been in a national magazine before.
01:11Well, except for Ruth Potter's niece, who was once in some gentleman's magazine without any pants on.
01:15But really, this is better in so many ways.
01:19Yeah.
01:21So, what's the article about?
01:23Well, it's called, uh, dot-commers, where are they now?
01:26Um, it's about big, hot-shot internet people, like myself, who went bankrupt and were forced
01:32to eke out meager livings and menial low-paying.
01:39They put a much better spin on it on the phone.
01:43You know what?
01:43I-I don't care.
01:44I think it's a great opportunity for me to show the people back in L.A.
01:47that I made the right decision to come back to my small town.
01:49Well, what about your hair?
01:50Well, I assume it feels the same way.
01:56But seriously, though, you're going to do something with it, right?
01:59Why?
02:00What's wrong with it?
02:01Oh!
02:05What?
02:06What's the matter with my hair?
02:08What?
02:08It just, it's casual and kind of loose and kind of...
02:12Ow, that's hot.
02:16You know what?
02:16I don't think people are really going to look that closely anyway.
02:18What?
02:19Are you kidding me?
02:20Vanity Fair?
02:21Vanity Fair's subscriber is very discerning.
02:24They will look at every nook and cranny and burning blister and cut again.
02:28Cut from the hot thing.
02:31Wow!
02:37Why don't you just let Mom cut it?
02:39Because there's nothing wrong with my hair.
02:41Besides, Mom can't even cut out a dear Abby properly.
02:44Have you seen this?
02:48It's nothing but questions.
02:49I don't want to hurt her feelings, but there's no way I'm going to say to Mom, I need a haircut.
02:55Oh, I can do that for you, honey.
02:57I'd love to cut it.
02:57I cut it every three weeks right up until college.
03:04Yeah, that's why I went away to college.
03:10What's all that?
03:11Oh, Ming's went out of business, you know, the Chinese restaurant, and I was able to buy all their plastic food from their front window.
03:26Look at the workmanship on this Kung Pao pork.
03:29Made in America.
03:35Made in America.
03:36That's kind of funny.
03:38Well, I thought it would be nice for a centerpiece for when we have Chinese takeout.
03:48But I thought you just said Ming's went out of business.
03:50Anyway, I'd love to get to that hair of yours.
03:58No, Mom, it's got to be good.
04:00Ellen's going to be in Vanity Fair magazine.
04:03Vanity Fair?
04:04Oh, isn't that funny?
04:06Kitty gets groomed by a place called Vanity Fur.
04:09They bring a van right to the house.
04:14No, that is funny.
04:15Yeah.
04:15Yeah, it's almost like we're having two separate conversations.
04:22And I'm talking to you about a major magazine that I'm going to be in, and you're talking about a cat groomer.
04:27Oh, actually, he likes to be called a stylist.
04:32Are you following this?
04:33From a safe distance.
04:36I'm going back in.
04:37Mom?
04:39I thought you'd be excited for me.
04:44Well, of course I'm excited for you.
04:46That's why I want to get to work on that head of yours.
04:49Yeah, you know what?
04:50I'm not going to make a big deal out of it.
04:51I'm not.
04:52I'm not going to get my hair cut.
04:53If I was, you'd cut it, but I'm not.
04:55Well, Ellen, if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas.
05:00I'm not going to get a big deal out of it.
05:18I'm not going to get a big deal out of it.
05:22I'm not going to get a big deal out of it.
05:24Hey, I heard you're going to be in Vanity Fair.
05:43God, you people are just chomping at the bit for any piece of gossip, aren't you?
05:46Well, no, actually, you sent out that blanket e-mail.
05:49Yeah, I did that, but I didn't think anybody would read it.
05:54Well, you marked it, earn free miles.
06:01Yeah, well, I did that, but I guess I'm just excited about the article.
06:04I'm proud to be representing the town that means so much to me.
06:08Yeah, I read the e-mail.
06:12Hey, Rusty.
06:13Oh, Ellen, hey, congratulations on the article.
06:16Oh, do I talk to you about the free miles, or?
06:21That should just be automatic.
06:22Oh, sweet.
06:24Hey, listen, do you know Slim Crowley?
06:28Uh, thin guy, last name Crowley?
06:30Well, then you know Slim's youngest daughter, Tina.
06:33Yeah, I haven't seen her in ages.
06:35Really nice girl.
06:36Well, she used to be the sweetest girl honor student.
06:40She could play the oboe, make you weep.
06:41That bad, huh?
06:42Oh, she's awful.
06:47But lately, she started dressing strangely.
06:50You know, one day she's a Britney Spears wannabe,
06:53the next day she's a rapper,
06:55and then all of a sudden she's Marilyn Manson, you know?
06:58Well, she's probably just finding herself.
07:00Well, she's finding herself with a lot of failing grades.
07:03That's probably the Marilyn Manson part.
07:05At least with Britney,
07:08she's always heading off to school in her videos.
07:12She's on the desk more than behind it,
07:14but at least she's there.
07:16Well, so can you talk to her?
07:17She's in your office.
07:18Oh.
07:21Hi, Tina.
07:22Hey.
07:23Ellen.
07:25Want to have a seat?
07:28So, what's going on?
07:31Nothing.
07:32Says you're a math leaped.
07:34I'm not sure I know what that is.
07:35It's a competitive math team.
07:37Oh.
07:37I admire that.
07:39I had no mathletic ability.
07:47I would get winded during long division.
07:52Yeah, well, I quit that.
07:54All those people are dorks.
07:55Well, I mean, not all.
07:56Like, 8 out of 11, which is 72%.
07:59Well, .727, which makes it 73.
08:02Anyways, that's not my style.
08:07Yeah, I can see.
08:10So, you're going through a couple of different looks, aren't you?
08:13So what?
08:14Yeah, I agree.
08:15I don't care.
08:15Who cares what you look like?
08:17But I think you're spending more time on your wardrobe than your studies.
08:20Which is fine if you're Cher.
08:25Let you in on a little secret.
08:26The reason she dropped her last name?
08:27Forgot how to spell it.
08:33So big deal.
08:34My new friends, they get bad grades and they're cool.
08:37You have new friends?
08:39Mm-hmm.
08:39And I guess you think that if you start doing worse in school and dressing hip, they're going to think you're hip, too.
08:45That's what they said.
08:48Wow.
08:49Well, do you, uh, like the way you're dressing?
08:52Well, I don't know.
08:53I mean, believe me, I wish I could be more like you and not care what other people think.
09:01Well, that comes from being confident and knowing who you're...
09:04What do you mean?
09:04What do you say?
09:05No, it's just like, like your hair.
09:09I mean, it's obvious you don't spend more than three minutes on it.
09:14Yeah, well, that's the point.
09:15I mean, I want it to look casual, not all, you know...
09:18Nice.
09:23I was going to say done.
09:25It so doesn't.
09:30Listen, Tina, I don't care what your friends think is cool.
09:34I think you are so much better than those people you're trying to impress.
09:38I don't care what you think.
09:40I'm not out to please anyone.
09:43I'm sorry, did you want this open?
09:47Close time.
09:51So you, uh, get anywhere?
09:53Oh.
09:54First session, you never know, but I think I need a little more time with her.
09:58Girls that age, they're just so worried about what everybody thinks.
10:01They just think everybody's looking at them and critiquing every little thing about them.
10:05And what are you looking at?
10:06What?
10:07What, me?
10:08My hair?
10:08Are you looking at my hair?
10:10No, I was just...
10:11Is there a toaster in here?
10:11What's happening with my hair?
10:14Well, you know, y'all are going to be in a magazine.
10:17You might want to do something with that.
10:20Well, I guess so.
10:20If everybody thinks I should do something with my hair, maybe I should.
10:23What?
10:23Where do I go?
10:24Well, it's easy.
10:25You should have Pam cut your hair.
10:26That's who I use.
10:27She's the best.
10:28Pam?
10:29Our home ec Pam?
10:32She's good?
10:33You think this just happens?
10:38Oh, I don't know.
10:39We don't really get along that well.
10:41I feel like I offend her all the time.
10:43This will give you a chance to bond.
10:45She works nights and weekends down at the Shoe Hair.
10:47The Shoe Hair?
10:48Remember that old shoe fair store?
10:51Well, Wanda Singh bought the place.
10:53Changed one letter on the sign and boom, the shoe hair.
10:59Pretty clever, huh?
11:01Why is that clever?
11:02Well, it used to be the shoe fair and now they cut hair.
11:05What's that got to do with shoes?
11:06They used to sell shoes.
11:08But she just changed one of the letters.
11:10And now it's shoe hair, I know.
11:12Clever, huh?
11:13Why?
11:14That's not how you're playing.
11:16Well, I guess it's kind of an inside joke.
11:18I don't think it's any kind of a joke.
11:40Ellen, right on time.
11:41Yes, hi.
11:42Why don't you have a seat over here?
11:44Okay.
11:44So, this is the shoe hair.
11:49That is so clever.
11:51See, I don't think it is and I'll tell you why.
11:57So, what are you looking for today?
11:59Uh, well, um, first I, uh, wanted to just, uh, thanks.
12:05I wanted to just say hi and, you know, kind of bond with you because I feel like at school,
12:10you know, we don't really get a chance.
12:11So, I feel like I always offend you with everything I say.
12:13What's that supposed to mean?
12:17Uh, well, let's just talk about the hair.
12:18I brought in some pictures, uh, from a magazine to kind of help you.
12:22Um, okay.
12:23Do you see this Tommy Hilfiger ad right there?
12:25See the woman on the horse in the back?
12:27Yeah.
12:28I want her hair kind of on the sides like that in the back.
12:30And then I want the horse's bangs.
12:35Now, Anne, do you want to be one of those people or do you want to be you?
12:39That's a good question, Pam.
12:41I want to be one of those people.
12:45That's genetics.
12:46I mean, I'm a hairstylist, not a scientist.
12:54I know you're not a scientist.
12:56I mean, we've got to work with what we've got here.
12:59And what we've got is, may I?
13:02Yes, please.
13:08Droopy, lifeless, flat, fine, limp hair.
13:12I heard fine.
13:13There was a fine in there.
13:14Is it fine?
13:15Tough love time, sugar cube.
13:18You're still on that horse thing, aren't you?
13:22Do you want to know what I think would look good on you?
13:23A saddle.
13:28I'll give you scissors.
13:32Just one more touch of spray.
13:39Ta-da!
13:45I have shoe hair.
13:59So you like it, right?
14:01Do I like it?
14:04Do I like it?
14:06Is that the question on the table?
14:10No, I don't like it.
14:12What?
14:16No.
14:17Oh, my God.
14:19Oh, pretty, pretty.
14:20Listen, Tina, I know what it's like to be an outsider, but let's put this in perspective,
14:34shall we?
14:34High school is a very, very short phase of your life.
14:38You're going to find your niche.
14:39I want you to be ashamed of who you are.
14:42Yeah.
14:44Why aren't you here today?
14:48Me?
14:49Well, a little accident.
14:52A bad cut, actually.
14:54No stitches or anything like that.
14:56Don't worry about me.
14:57I'm fine.
14:57No need to panic.
14:59But, Tina, some people are going to like you, and some people aren't going to like you.
15:04That's just the way it is.
15:05The next few years, you just have to hold on to who you are.
15:08You can't be swayed by peer pressure.
15:10I mean, you just end up looking ridiculous.
15:15Trust me, I know.
15:32Who is it?
15:33Oh, good day now.
15:34It's Guy from Vanity Fur.
15:36The photographer?
15:38Oh, no, ma'am.
15:38I'm a stylist.
15:48Of course they're going to send a stylist.
15:49I don't even know what I was thinking.
15:54Can you do something with that?
15:59I don't think so.
15:59No, no.
16:00It's not really the kind of thing I'm used to.
16:01Yeah, well, it's not the kind of thing I'm used to, either.
16:04Come on, I'll tip you a hundred bucks.
16:06I'll just give me things.
16:07Like a shaggy bob kind of a thing.
16:22Well, listen to me talking to you, telling you what to do.
16:24You know, just go crazy.
16:28You've got a beautiful coat.
16:29Oh, yeah, it's my mom's.
16:36It's wool, I think.
16:39Yes, that's still very well, too.
16:45That's a very kind and peculiar thing to say.
16:50What's this?
16:51What's this for catching the hair or something like that?
16:53That's to keep the clients from biting?
16:58Oh.
17:07You probably need that for those supermodels, don't you?
17:10I bet they need those, because they always look hungry to me.
17:13You know, one time I saw Kate Moss at a Starbucks,
17:15and I could tell when she was looking at me,
17:16she just looked like she was seeing one big hamburger.
17:22You know, I'm really excited to have you here,
17:24because it's hard to find a good place to get your hair cut in Clark.
17:27I'm so happy to see you.
17:28No.
17:28I was just going to...
17:35No!
17:42One last touch.
17:43Perfect.
17:54Stay.
17:55Stay.
17:58That is...
18:06not at all what I was going for.
18:10Are you experimenting?
18:12What?
18:12No, that's a hot new thing.
18:14That's all I've been doing lately.
18:16Really?
18:17Would you like a bow?
18:21A bow?
18:22A bow?
18:22I don't know, I...
18:38You're a pretty girl, Lassie.
18:40Oh.
18:43Who's a pretty girl?
18:47I am?
18:48Yes, you are.
18:49Yes, you are a pretty girl.
18:55Who's a pretty girl?
18:56I'm a pretty girl.
19:00Yes, you are.
19:01Yes, I am.
19:01Yes, you are.
19:02Yes, I am.
19:06Well, boy, that was so much fun.
19:09I know you're used to taking pictures of celebrities and models and beautiful people.
19:12Well, I hope I didn't break your camera.
19:16Well, next time, try not putting all your weight on it.
19:19Oh.
19:22I thought it would be a cool angle.
19:26Okay.
19:26Well, thank you, Mr. Ritz.
19:30What's up, dog?
19:31What's up, dog, to you?
19:35Pam.
19:36Hi.
19:36Hi.
19:37What's up, dog?
19:38Well, I guess my work just wasn't good enough for you after all.
19:44I worked very hard on that hairdo.
19:47I know you did, and I appreciate it.
19:48I really do.
19:49I guess I'm just not hip enough for you.
19:51I'm not down with it.
19:53I don't get all up in your Kool-Aid.
19:55I'm not keeping it the zeal.
19:57Mama don't have the jive, turkey, yo-diggity hip-hop to hip-hop.
20:01Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
20:05Easy there, Pam Diddy.
20:06You know, maybe we're just a different breed.
20:10Yeah, I mean, that could...
20:11Tina, hi.
20:14How are you?
20:15What did you do?
20:17What do you mean?
20:17Oh, to my hair.
20:18I just got my picture taken.
20:19Didn't you get the email?
20:20I'm going to be in Vanity Fair.
20:22But with your hair like that?
20:24Yeah.
20:25It's the hippest thing.
20:27It's the hot new style.
20:28I wanted to let the city folk know that I'm still one of them.
20:32Okay.
20:33All right.
20:34I get it.
20:35Good.
20:36What do you get?
20:37Well, it's kind of like I've been acting.
20:39I've been trying to be something I'm not, so I look stupid.
20:42No, no, stupid.
20:44That's why I didn't say it.
20:44But, you know, I mean, but, yes, I was trying to...
20:48But to reiterate, this is actually not stupid.
20:54Thanks, Miss Richmond.
20:55No one's ever done anything like this for me before.
20:59Well, I'm glad I could help.
21:01But this actually is not stupid.
21:07I'm a pretty girl!
21:08I'm a pretty girl!
21:20Okay.
21:21Here is the key to my house.
21:23Her name is Mitzi, and she'll be waiting for you.
21:25Oh, and she likes to wear that collar with the little metal studs.
21:37Does she bite?
21:38Uh, only when she gets excited.
21:40But she is a non-stop licker, so...
21:46Would you like me to bring some Robert toys?
21:48Oh, oh, oh.
21:51God, no.
21:52We'll be up all night.
21:53We'll be up all night.
22:23I'll be up all night.
22:29Bye-bye.
22:31Bye-bye.
22:42Bye-bye.
22:43Bye-bye.
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