- 1 day ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news.
00:10This is The Daily Show with your host, Sean Stewart.
00:15Hello, everybody!
00:37Hello! My goodness! So happy to be back. Welcome to The Daily Show. My name is John Stewart. Great show for you tonight.
00:45Later on, we're going to be joined by author Elizabeth Colbert. We will be discussing the environment. Do we still need one?
00:54By the way, you couldn't hear in the audience, but I said we have Elizabeth Colbert on the show, and someone in the audience said, I love her.
01:01Like, literally, just in the middle of it, it was just like, oh, I love her.
01:06So, we are pleasing her.
01:09How was your Thanksgiving? Did you eat a lot there?
01:15I've eaten pie every morning for the last five mornings. I ate a lot.
01:22Did you stay safe from Vecna? Are you safe?
01:26Can you believe it turns out Vecna was just...
01:30I mean, I did not see that coming.
01:40But I hope your holiday was fine.
01:43Did you have any uncomfortable moments with Trump-loving relatives?
01:45Well, if you did, I just want to say this to you.
01:48Sack up!
01:48Because on Thanksgiving, the White House press corps had to deal with actual Trump.
01:55Are you stupid? Are you a stupid person?
01:57And you're just asking questions because you're a stupid person.
02:00I'm sorry, sir.
02:02The question was, would you care for more stuffing?
02:04I don't blame the president.
02:11It's Thanksgiving. Everybody gets a little stressed out.
02:15I'm sure the president calmed down and delivered a more apropos message
02:19to the American people on this Thanksgiving holiday of togetherness.
02:24I love it.
02:25Chop.
02:27You're not allowed to do that anymore.
02:28You know, we're not allowed...
02:29You're not allowed to use the word Indian anymore.
02:32The only one that wants you to are the Indians.
02:34God damn it, Grandpa!
02:37We talked about this!
02:39We talked about this!
02:39I had the same thing happen in my house.
02:51Look, we all hate sitting next to the doddering old person at Thanksgiving,
02:54which I think might be me now.
02:58But imagine if that was your job!
03:00And instead of being with your family and friends this holiday,
03:04you're in the press corps.
03:05You gotta fly down to f***ing Mar-a-Lago.
03:07I'm sorry, the Winter White House.
03:09And put up with this s*** for a living.
03:12Today I'm in Florida, but generally I'm in the White House.
03:15I'm in the Oval Office.
03:15So I won by a lot.
03:17I ran a second time.
03:19I won by a lot.
03:20And I would say to myself,
03:21why are we calling it Gulf of Mexico when we have...
03:25I like Tom Cruise.
03:26The last of our movie stars probably...
03:27Biden can't hit a ball 30 yards, I'm telling you.
03:30I looked at his swing.
03:31You probably had your dinner already, but I didn't.
03:34And I know exactly what I'm going to have.
03:36Turkey.
03:37Yeah, we're all having turkey.
03:50Excuse me, I'm just going to go doom-scroll on my phone in the bathroom for a while.
03:54But hey, everyone has trouble after throwing down a pound of turkey
03:56with all the fixings, keeping their thoughts straight.
03:58I'm sure his written Thanksgiving message to the American people
04:01will be more circumspect, more rooted in gratitude.
04:04On Thanksgiving night, he called Governor Tim Walz, quote,
04:09seriously retarded.
04:11On Thanksgiving?
04:14Are you confusing that with Festivus?
04:20And by the way, seriously retarded?
04:23Not even, like, playfully retarded, like Mr. Bean, you know what I mean?
04:34Or celebratorily retarded, like the Black Eyed Peas song?
04:40Yeah, they're very lucky that started rhymes with it.
04:51You know, the press corps had to spend the whole holiday weekend
04:54down in Mar-a-Lago listening to this brain ooze,
04:57and then they couldn't even go back home by themselves.
04:59They had to fly back with his nut
05:01and ask him if he wants to clarify any of the nonsense.
05:04Do you stand by that gleam of calling Tim Walz retarded?
05:08What is happening?
05:16When Ken Burns does the documentary on this era,
05:21and then the president called Tim Walz retarded.
05:29And by the way, to the press,
05:33what do you think he's going to say to that question?
05:36Yes, on reflection,
05:39it was obviously a poor choice of words.
05:41I have nothing but respect for Governor Walz
05:43and the entire Todd community.
05:48Perhaps it's time for me to step back and start to listen.
05:53He's not doing that.
05:55Do you stand by that gleam of calling Tim Walz retarded?
05:58Yeah, I think there's something wrong with him.
06:02Something wrong with him?
06:05With him?
06:07You were sitting with your family at Thanksgiving,
06:09belly full of turkey and pie,
06:11surrounded by the love of your extended crime family,
06:14but your initial instinct was to truth a slur at Tim Walz?
06:20And there's something wrong with him?
06:23And by the way,
06:24he's not the one who mysteriously got an MRI the other day.
06:26What was up with that?
06:28What part of your body was the MRI looking at?
06:30I have no idea.
06:42That's not physically possible.
06:46To have no idea.
06:47It's not possible.
06:50What would you say to the doctor?
06:51No, no, no.
06:52Don't tell me.
06:52I want to find out at my MRI reveal party.
06:59It's the lymph nodes.
07:04What is happening?
07:09For God's sakes, man,
07:11were you not curious at all?
07:13When they laid you down in a tube
07:17for a half an hour to 45 minutes,
07:20you didn't want to know what they might be doing?
07:23Or did you just think to yourself,
07:24what a loud tanning bed.
07:29What?
07:29How about letting us have a gander at that MRI then?
07:46So if they want to release it,
07:47it's okay with me to release it.
07:49It's perfect.
07:50It's absolutely perfect.
07:51So you didn't even know what they scanned,
07:57but you got a perfect score.
07:59Because, by the way,
08:00that's how they score the MRIs.
08:03You either get a big stamp, perfect,
08:06or you get, in red ink, see me.
08:11You don't want that.
08:12You don't want to see me.
08:16What the f***?
08:17And while the president wasn't exactly sure
08:22which organs were scanned,
08:23he knew which one wasn't.
08:25It wasn't the brain
08:25because I took a cognitive test
08:27and I aced it.
08:37Did you ace it?
08:41Or is perhaps the cognitive test
08:44knowing what part of your body was scanned?
08:47Maybe that was the test.
08:56But, of course,
08:58because it was Thanksgiving
08:59and Donald Trump so appreciates
09:01the time that these reporters
09:03have spent away from their families,
09:05he did end this brief session
09:07with some words of gratitude
09:08for the difficult jobs
09:10that these reporters do,
09:12especially the two reporters
09:13standing closest to him.
09:15I took a cognitive test
09:17and I aced it.
09:18I got a perfect mark,
09:19which you would be incapable of doing.
09:21Goodbye, everybody.
09:22Thank you, Mr. President.
09:23Thank you, Mr. President.
09:24Thank you, sir.
09:24Two things here that I love.
09:38The first is...
09:40When he goes,
09:45you too.
09:45And the woman on the right
09:48whose face is like,
09:49the f*** did I do?
09:53I'm just standing there.
09:54She's the one with the cognitive question.
09:56I'm just standing...
09:57You couldn't finish the cognitive test
09:59and f*** you, too.
10:00Like, what?
10:01What is that?
10:03That's just crazy.
10:06And he's calling him stupid.
10:07It seems like about a week ago,
10:08someone on Trump's press team was like,
10:10you've got to stop calling
10:11the female reporters ugly and piggy.
10:13And he was like,
10:14got it.
10:17I won't do that anymore at all.
10:21I know what I'll do.
10:24You're stupid.
10:28Oh.
10:29And the second thing I like about that clip
10:31is that Trump thinks
10:33he's delivering the mic drop.
10:35You're stupid.
10:37You're too.
10:38Good night.
10:39Tip your waitresses.
10:41But then,
10:42he's got to waddle
10:43all the way back to his bed.
10:45Look at him go.
10:46Oh.
10:50He's got to waddle
10:51all the way back there
10:53pretending he doesn't need handrails.
10:55Isn't that what's happening?
10:57By the way,
10:57that plane's not even in the air.
10:59That's just instability
10:59from the extra liquid
11:02sloshing around in his cankles.
11:04That's what he's telling me.
11:07When he moves...
11:08He's got so much extra fluid in there,
11:17it's like pushing a milk carton
11:18when he moves.
11:20Yeah.
11:20Yeah.
11:23But let's forget for a moment
11:25about this president's ugly contempt
11:27for those who are charged
11:28with getting information
11:29about his presidency
11:30out to other Americans.
11:32And let's just spend a little time
11:33also enjoying
11:33the utter incoherence
11:35of his presidency in general.
11:37For instance,
11:37the policy change
11:38that Trump is making
11:39in the aftermath
11:40of the terrible National Guard
11:41shooting in D.C.,
11:42that horrible act
11:43was done by one individual
11:45who happened to be part
11:47of a larger group of Afghans
11:48who were brought here
11:49because they risked their lives
11:51helping the United States
11:53during our invasion
11:54of Afghanistan.
11:56Which, of course, means...
11:58We know that Afghan National
11:59is the suspected shooter
12:01of these National Guards.
12:02Yeah.
12:03Yeah.
12:03The people that shouldn't be
12:04in our country, that's right.
12:05So, you announced the asylum.
12:08And that includes Somalians
12:09and includes plenty of others.
12:13Did you just Somalia Afghanistan?
12:15Because of this one Afghan,
12:19all Afghans are suspect,
12:21and also Somalians.
12:22He did to Somalia and Afghanistan
12:26exactly what he did
12:28to the reporters on the plane.
12:30You're banned from this country
12:32because of one terrible thing
12:34that one of you people did.
12:36You, too!
12:40What?
12:42What?
12:43If you're wondering,
12:45what Somalians had to do
12:47with the Afghan shooter,
12:48uh, yeah.
12:49What did the Somalians have to do
12:51with this Afghan guy
12:52who shot the National Guards?
12:53Nothing, but Somalians
12:55have caused a lot of trouble.
12:58They had nothing to do with it.
12:59It just reminded me
13:00that there are other groups
13:01I also don't like.
13:05I don't see color.
13:07I just hate all of it.
13:10So our entire immigration system
13:11is now going to be based
13:12around the principle
13:13that if even one person
13:14from your ethnic or religious group
13:15f***ed up,
13:17you all got to go.
13:18And a screening process
13:19that can't tell the difference.
13:21How do I know it
13:22can't tell the difference?
13:23Your DOJ IG just reported this year
13:26that there was thorough vetting
13:27by DHS and by the FBI
13:29of these Afghans
13:31who were brought into the U.S.
13:33So why are you blamed
13:34for the Biden administration?
13:35Because they let him in.
13:37Are you stupid?
13:38Are you a stupid person?
13:39And you're just asking questions
13:40because you're a stupid person.
13:42See, that question
13:43was not a stupid person's question.
13:45A stupid person's question would be,
13:47may I eat my desk?
13:51To which you would say,
13:53what a stupid question.
13:54It's your desk.
13:54You can do whatever you want with it.
13:56Look, the question relates to,
14:02can any free society
14:03create a 100% foolproof system
14:06for immigrants
14:06or for its natural citizens?
14:08I mean, what criterion
14:10will we use now?
14:12Donald Trump said
14:13he plans to, quote,
14:14remove anyone
14:15who is not a net asset
14:16to the United States.
14:18How do you...
14:19By what measure?
14:21How?
14:22If they can't love our country,
14:23we don't want them.
14:24But how do you measure that?
14:28What, if they stand at the border
14:29on a scale of mm to mm?
14:35How much do you...
14:36Do you say to the moon and back
14:39or just to the moon?
14:41How much?
14:43I mean, this is...
14:43It's utterly incoherent.
14:46Can you give us
14:46a more specific idea
14:48of which groups
14:49would pass your muster?
14:50I love the Irish special people.
14:52I really do.
14:53I love the Irish.
14:54We're back Italians
14:55and we love the Italians.
14:58Donald Trump's defended
14:59wanting immigrants
15:00from, quote,
15:02nice countries
15:02like Denmark
15:03and Switzerland.
15:04Okay, now I'm starting
15:06to see a pattern.
15:11I'm sure it's only in my head.
15:14Refugee admissions
15:14into the country right now
15:16are essentially at zero,
15:17with the exception
15:18of Afrikaners
15:19fleeing persecution
15:20in South Africa.
15:21So, one horrific act
15:25by one Afghan
15:26means all Afghans
15:27are suspect.
15:28But we now welcome
15:29with open arms
15:30all Afrikaners.
15:32Because, I mean, really,
15:33what have white South Africans
15:35ever done to anybody?
15:39Is there anyone else
15:41that you would just let in
15:42as well?
15:43Anything weirdly specific?
15:44I also like
15:46very competent people
15:47coming into our country,
15:48maitre d's,
15:50wine, you know,
15:51experts,
15:53even waiters,
15:55high-quality waiters.
15:57You got to get
15:59like the best people.
16:11We're so f***ed.
16:15So, Somalians
16:16aren't welcome
16:18unless they're also
16:20sommeliers.
16:24Some...
16:25By the way...
16:27By the way,
16:28I want to make this clear.
16:29I don't mind
16:30Trump having
16:31strict standards.
16:32The problem is
16:33if you are from
16:34the so-called
16:35less desirable countries,
16:36he does not view you
16:37as individuals.
16:39You are just part
16:40of a larger,
16:41amorphous blob
16:42of suspicion
16:43that deserves
16:44no grace.
16:46And if one of you
16:46f***s up,
16:47all are condemned.
16:49But he doesn't even
16:50hold that standard
16:51for his own
16:52ethnic group.
16:52people from
16:54Magistan.
16:59Now,
16:59that happens
17:00to be a group
17:01that's got its own
17:02pretty solid
17:04criminal backstory.
17:05And I'm not even
17:06referring to January 6th.
17:08Let's just go ahead
17:09and give them
17:09a mulligan
17:10for the whole
17:10trying to overthrow
17:11the government thing.
17:14Just look at the crimes
17:16they've committed
17:16since January 6th!
17:19Owning unauthorized firearms.
17:21Defrauding investors
17:22of $41 million.
17:23Arrested after a dog attack
17:25that injured four people.
17:26Reportedly raised a firearm
17:27during a traffic stop.
17:29Making a terroristic threat.
17:30Convicted of plotting
17:31to kill FBI agents.
17:33Tried to bribe
17:34child sex victims.
17:35Thefts of industrial copper.
17:41Obviously,
17:42that's not in order
17:43of severity.
17:51We're ratcheting up.
17:52We're going to kill
17:53an FBI agent
17:54paying off
17:55child sex trafficking.
17:58Where's my copper?
18:01That was industrial copper.
18:03I was going to do
18:05something that people
18:06do with copper.
18:07I was going to make
18:09a lamp.
18:15Some of these people,
18:16it's almost like
18:17they already knew
18:18before they were pardoned
18:19that they were going to
18:20use their second chance
18:21to commit more crimes.
18:22Zachary Allum.
18:24He was sentenced
18:24to eight years
18:25for assaulting police officers
18:27on January 6th
18:28before he demanded
18:29a pardon from Trump.
18:31When a local station
18:32asked Allum
18:33what he would do
18:34once he was released,
18:35he said, quote,
18:36that's just for me to know
18:37and you to find out.
18:42And boy,
18:43did we find out
18:44after he was arrested
18:46for a home invasion.
18:50Apparently,
18:51it's Salvador Dali's home.
18:56Dali came home
18:57and went,
18:58where's my mustache?
19:01Oh,
19:01just have to make one
19:02out of industrial copper.
19:05So considering
19:08how devoted to crime
19:10some of Magistan is,
19:13I would assume
19:13Trump has no choice
19:14but to denaturalize
19:15and deport everyone
19:16in MAGA as well.
19:18Or...
19:19January 6th, people.
19:22They're patriots
19:22in so many cases.
19:24These were people
19:24that actually love
19:25our country.
19:26They were peaceful people.
19:27These were great people.
19:29There has never been
19:29a group of people
19:30treated so harshly
19:32or unfairly
19:33in our country's history.
19:36Really?
19:36No other group
19:37treated this harshly.
19:39I guess we've forgotten
19:40slavery
19:41and how Ellen
19:44treated her staff.
19:47You know...
19:48There goes that invite.
20:03That's the real Trump standard.
20:06If you're not part
20:07of Trump's group,
20:09you have no margin
20:10of error in this country.
20:11But if you are,
20:13it's all margin of error.
20:14Not only are you not judged
20:17by the worst of your group,
20:19the worst of your group
20:20isn't judged at all.
20:23And to anyone who thinks
20:24that Trump's third world
20:25immigration crackdown
20:26is really about
20:27national security
20:27and is not just
20:29an opportunity
20:29for a USA complexion correction,
20:33I have but one thing
20:35to say to you.
20:36Are you stupid?
20:37Are you a stupid person?
20:39When we come back,
20:40Elizabeth Culver.
20:41Don't go away.
20:42Don't go away.
20:44Welcome back to the show.
20:58My guest tonight,
20:59a staff writer
21:00at The New Yorker
21:01and a Pulitzer Prize-winning author.
21:06Her latest book is called
21:07Life on a Little-Know Planet,
21:09Dispatches from a Changing World.
21:10Please welcome to the program
21:11Elizabeth Colbert.
21:14It's so nice to see you again.
21:29Likewise.
21:30The last time that we spoke,
21:32you had written a book
21:33called, I believe,
21:35The Sixth Extinction.
21:37You got it.
21:38And it was about
21:39how we were all going to die.
21:42Well, I'm not sure
21:44we all are going to die.
21:45Most of us are going to die.
21:47Many, many species.
21:49Since then,
21:50you've put together,
21:52this is,
21:52it's a wonderful book of essays.
21:53I won't even hold it up.
21:54It was up on the thing there.
21:56But what it says to me is,
21:58you have since then
21:59traversed to all ends
22:01of this planet.
22:02Still cooking?
22:07Well, we still live.
22:09I think that one of the,
22:10you know,
22:10great ironies of my career,
22:13such as it is,
22:14is that in writing about
22:16a lot of very,
22:17very serious
22:18environmental problems,
22:19I've been to
22:21the most amazing places
22:22on Earth,
22:23which really give you
22:24an appreciation
22:25of what a fantastic planet
22:27it is that we live on
22:28and how we might
22:29want to take
22:30an interest in that.
22:36We might want
22:37to take an interest in that.
22:37Yeah, it's just a thought.
22:38It's just a thought.
22:39When you see these places,
22:41Greenland,
22:42the, the,
22:43you went,
22:44uh,
22:44searching for whale songs.
22:48Uh,
22:49does it seem
22:50more resilient
22:51than,
22:53at first glance,
22:54it may look,
22:55even with our own
22:56depravity
22:57when it comes to
22:58polluting it
22:59or whatever we're doing?
23:00Well, you know,
23:01obviously,
23:02life on this planet
23:03is extremely resilient
23:05or it wouldn't be here,
23:06right?
23:07And I think that we do see
23:08that whenever we sort of
23:09take our foot
23:11off a gas pedal,
23:12uh,
23:13a lot of things
23:14do spring back to life.
23:16So there are a lot of,
23:17of real success stories.
23:18Restorative.
23:19Yes.
23:19I mean,
23:20when we,
23:20when we stop,
23:21uh,
23:22doing things,
23:22when we stopped
23:23hunting for things,
23:23for example,
23:24I'll give you a really
23:25local example
23:26near where I live.
23:26Please.
23:27When we stopped
23:27hunting turkeys,
23:28it's a very,
23:29uh,
23:29timely,
23:30uh,
23:31uh,
23:31example
23:32around Thanksgiving.
23:33We stopped
23:33hunting wild turkeys,
23:34wild turkeys bounce back.
23:35Life is extremely resilient.
23:37That,
23:37that is...
23:37But there are also
23:38repercussions from that.
23:39I've noticed
23:39that these turkeys
23:40have gotten
23:41very sassy.
23:44Very,
23:44with,
23:44with...
23:45It's true.
23:45It's true.
23:46Just operate
23:46with impunity now.
23:47They walk across the...
23:48They think they can get
23:48pardoned for anything.
23:49Gobble,
23:50gobble,
23:50mother...
23:51Like,
23:51they don't even...
23:53Yeah.
23:54That part.
23:55Yeah,
23:55yeah.
23:55But it...
23:56Life is very resilient,
23:57but we are really,
23:58uh,
23:59let's just say
23:59we are piling it on.
24:01We are piling it on.
24:02And that brings us
24:03to,
24:04to the other question,
24:05which is,
24:06I feel like the message
24:08about the tenuousness
24:10of our environment
24:11of our environment
24:11is out there.
24:13It's sort of like
24:14awareness.
24:15I think there's
24:15an awareness.
24:17It doesn't seem
24:18to be commensurate,
24:19though,
24:20with a change.
24:22Is that something
24:23that,
24:23that you've noticed?
24:25Yeah.
24:26Good.
24:27Yeah,
24:27yeah.
24:28I have noticed that.
24:29Why is it that
24:30we have not changed?
24:32What are the reasons
24:33why you don't think
24:34we have changed
24:35our behavior?
24:36And do you think
24:37how far up our bodies
24:40does the water have to be
24:42before we might
24:43change something?
24:44Well,
24:44we seem really intent
24:46on, you know,
24:47pushing this experiment
24:48about as far
24:49as it can go.
24:50Mm-hmm.
24:51Um,
24:51and I think that
24:52that is a very
24:53interesting fact
24:54about humanity.
24:55It's actually really,
24:56really interesting,
24:57uh,
24:57as well as terrifying.
24:59Right.
24:59Uh,
24:59which turns out,
25:00you know,
25:01that a lot of what
25:01you learn about the world
25:02these days is very
25:03interesting and terrifying
25:04at the same time.
25:05Right.
25:06What is it about,
25:07because if you're
25:09an environmentalist,
25:10so if you think,
25:10okay,
25:10global warming is real.
25:12I can guarantee you that.
25:14And it is caused
25:14by human activity.
25:18Is it realistic
25:19to think,
25:20because what we've been
25:20told over the last
25:2135 years is,
25:23human activity
25:24is the cause
25:25and we've just got
25:26to reduce human activity.
25:29But that seems
25:30to go against
25:3010,000 years
25:32of human activity,
25:33which is,
25:34I like that
25:35easier,
25:36faster,
25:37smaller,
25:38tastier,
25:38deader.
25:40So how do you,
25:41how do we square
25:42those things?
25:43Well,
25:43I think that that,
25:45you know,
25:45you could argue
25:46that's the question
25:46of our time,
25:48but I will answer
25:49that question
25:51with a story,
25:53which I first heard
25:54from a climate scientist
25:55on the top
25:55of the Greenland ice sheet.
25:57You were standing
25:58with him on the top
25:58of the Greenland ice sheet?
25:59Yes,
25:59yes.
26:00And if you think,
26:01if you think about
26:02your geological history,
26:03so New York,
26:04about 10,000 years ago,
26:05looked a lot like Greenland,
26:07right?
26:07Where we're sitting now
26:08was under about
26:09a mile of ice.
26:10The ice retreated.
26:12We enter this period
26:14of unusual climate stability
26:15and we know this
26:16from a lot of different
26:17lines of evidence,
26:19including the ice
26:19on Greenland.
26:20We enter this period
26:21of climate stability.
26:22We invent
26:23what we call
26:23civilization.
26:25We invent agriculture,
26:26writing,
26:27all the things,
26:28towns, cities.
26:29We become very sedentary
26:30and set in our ways.
26:32And what do we use
26:33these 10,000 years to do
26:34but to invent ways
26:36to disrupt the climate?
26:37Now, if you were thinking
26:38about, you know,
26:39what you need to do
26:41when you inherit,
26:43very fortunately,
26:44a period of unusual
26:45climate stability,
26:46it would be to try
26:46to sort of keep it that way.
26:48But we have gone,
26:49chosen,
26:51to go in the opposite direction.
26:52With all the evidence,
26:53mounting, mounting,
26:54evidence of the risks
26:55that that entails.
26:56And once again,
26:57that's a fascinating
26:58thing to do
26:59but not exactly
27:00what you'd recommend.
27:01See, what I hear
27:02from that story is
27:03if we keep this up,
27:05we could turn Greenland
27:06into Manhattan.
27:07That is absolutely,
27:09that is absolutely true.
27:11To keep it up.
27:11But there's 20 feet
27:13of sea level rise in there.
27:14But we...
27:14So Manhattan won't be here.
27:16Right.
27:17But is there anything to...
27:19Oh, we won't be here.
27:20So we'll just go up there.
27:21Yeah, yeah.
27:22Can I tell you
27:23what a great idea is?
27:23Because I imagine
27:24rents up there
27:25are going to be much...
27:26Yeah, yeah.
27:28There's going to be
27:28a lot of competition
27:29for species there.
27:30But I think part of that
27:30is how, you know,
27:33it makes us seem
27:36wildly irresponsible
27:38and selfish.
27:39And I'm not suggesting
27:40that we might not be that.
27:42But what species
27:43would be a better...
27:45Like, we've done...
27:47Like, humans have done amazing.
27:49There's like 8 billion of us.
27:51And now,
27:52when you think about
27:53the creature comforts
27:54of the United States
27:55and all the so-called
27:56first world industrialized societies,
27:59is it fair for us now
28:01to turn to, you know,
28:03the different hemispheres
28:05that are less developed
28:06and go,
28:07I get you want the mini-fridge,
28:10but unfortunately,
28:11you can't get there
28:12in the same way that we did.
28:15I feel like it's easy
28:18for us to castigate humankind,
28:21but I feel like humankind
28:21is doing...
28:22We just want to,
28:23when it plugs in,
28:24know that it works.
28:26Yeah, well, there's a bunch
28:27of different ways
28:28to answer that.
28:29Yes.
28:29Other than yelling at me.
28:31Yeah.
28:32I'm just trying to be honest
28:33about why I think
28:34we haven't done anything.
28:36Well, that's one of the reasons
28:37we haven't done anything.
28:38I mean, I think, obviously,
28:40you know, when you ask
28:41less developed countries
28:43to cut their energy use
28:44and our energy use
28:45is way up there.
28:46We're, like, up there
28:47with the Saudis,
28:48basically, with per...
28:49And we're, I think,
28:51we're, I think, responsible
28:52for, what, 40% of global warming
28:54or 50% of global warming?
28:55Yeah, basically,
28:55and in terms of just, like,
28:56aggregate, you know,
28:57aggregate emissions
28:58that are up there.
28:58And the point,
28:59another point you have to make
29:00is they don't go away.
29:01They just stay there.
29:03We're way...
29:04We're the top.
29:05We're number one.
29:07And, yeah, come on.
29:08Yeah.
29:09And, uh...
29:10I got to tell you,
29:11tone of voice
29:12didn't sound as enthusiastic, guys.
29:14Didn't match the words, Elizabeth.
29:17Sorry.
29:17Sorry.
29:18Am I the problem
29:19is what I'm getting at.
29:20Is my lack of understanding
29:22of this,
29:23because I consider myself,
29:24uh, accepting of climate science,
29:28Yes.
29:29understanding of some
29:30of the depredations of it,
29:31and an overwhelmingly
29:33larger user of energy
29:35than anybody
29:37outside of the United States.
29:38Yeah.
29:38No, I think...
29:39I admire your candor.
29:41Um, and I think that...
29:43That is...
29:44We're...
29:45We are all...
29:46I...
29:46I...
29:47I am all too...
29:47That sounds like
29:48what you said
29:48when you're gonna break up
29:49with somebody.
29:51We are all in that...
29:53And all of us,
29:54basically all of us
29:55in the U.S.,
29:55and some of us
29:56even more than others,
29:57and I am definitely,
29:58you know, in my...
29:59In writing that book,
30:00I, you know,
30:01burned up tremendous amounts
30:02of carbon.
30:03So we are all, you know,
30:05part of that society
30:06that burns a lot of carbon.
30:08And the question is,
30:09is there any way
30:09to get from here to there?
30:12And the answer is,
30:13I genuinely don't know.
30:15Wait, what?
30:16And what are you mad at me for?
30:18I'm not mad at you.
30:19I'm not mad at you.
30:20But so this is what brings me
30:21to the next point,
30:22which is I think I do know how.
30:25Oh, tell me.
30:25Because...
30:26I'm just going to ask my wife
30:37to fast forward
30:38to just that part and go,
30:39you're going to want to use that.
30:42You're going to want to use the phrase
30:44with just that same intonation
30:46when I say something like,
30:48I think we can make it
30:49to the airport on time.
30:50And then you're going to want to go,
30:51oh, tell me.
30:55Here's what I think.
30:57We're so focused on the idea of it
30:59as a moral question,
31:01as the idea that our stewardship
31:04of the environment is about virtue
31:06and not about sort of our...
31:08the nature of wanting to reproduce
31:11and make life easier
31:14and that we've pushed people
31:17away from the movement
31:18and in the wrong direction.
31:21If what you're saying to them is,
31:23you want a better life
31:25and that makes you corrupt
31:27because your better life
31:28has to have more bicycling.
31:31Like Ed Begley Jr.,
31:32he's miserable right now.
31:35He hates doing everything.
31:37But my point being,
31:38it seems like we just...
31:40The better strategy would be,
31:42honestly, to accept it
31:44and do mitigating...
31:46mitigating structures
31:49that can help do it
31:50and work on cleaning
31:52whatever it is
31:53that we produce
31:54out of it
31:55and worry about
31:56what comes after that next.
31:57No?
31:58Well, how are we cleaning it?
32:00Isn't carbon capture a thing?
32:02Isn't that something
32:03that they invented?
32:03I did write a chapter
32:05of that book.
32:06It's about carbon capture
32:07and I believe...
32:09I hate to quote myself,
32:12but I think I said something like...
32:13It may be vital
32:17without being viable.
32:18I mean, we really don't have...
32:19You know, large-scale carbon capture.
32:22It doesn't exist.
32:23And it's not clear that it will.
32:24And the other point
32:25that I really need to make
32:26about carbon capture is
32:27it takes a lot of energy.
32:30So do electric cars.
32:31I thought that was going to get us out of this.
32:33Why would you use that energy
32:35to take your carbon out of the air?
32:37Why don't you just make carbon-free energy?
32:39That would kind of be...
32:40I think everyone would agree...
32:41But isn't that because
32:42it's been so far more expensive
32:44so it's not politically viable?
32:46In other words,
32:47like, if we were...
32:48You saw what happened in New Jersey.
32:49New Jersey,
32:50electric prices went up 20%.
32:51AI is now on the horizon.
32:53And what AI is not...
32:54AI is not saying,
32:56hey, let's preserve the environment.
32:57AI is saying,
32:58hey, uh, do you have any water?
33:01Do you have any electricity?
33:02Yeah, exactly.
33:03Like, when AI, they say,
33:04oh, well, that's worth it
33:05because AI will solve this.
33:07My guess is what AI's solution
33:09is going to be like,
33:10yeah, you guys should use less electricity.
33:12Send it our way.
33:14Exactly.
33:15Exactly.
33:16Are we thinking about this
33:18in the wrong way?
33:20Well, I mean,
33:21sometimes, you know,
33:22I think that the key thing
33:24to remember about climate change,
33:26unfortunately,
33:27is you're not arguing,
33:28you know,
33:29you're not even arguing with AI.
33:30You're not arguing politics.
33:32You're not even arguing with Donald Trump.
33:34You're arguing with physics.
33:36You're just arguing with basic physics.
33:38So we may be thinking about it all wrong,
33:41but the physics of it are inarguable.
33:43And they've been understood.
33:44Another point that is really key to understand,
33:47is they've been understood
33:48for over 100 years now.
33:49This is not hard science.
33:51That carbon going into the atmosphere
33:53heats up the earth.
33:53Exactly.
33:54No, no, no.
33:54That I understand.
33:56Yeah.
33:56It just seems unrealistic
33:57to expect 8 billion people
34:01to row all in the same
34:03positive moral direction.
34:04It feels like
34:05if we're gonna do this,
34:07it's gonna come from somewhere else.
34:11Well, I think the question is,
34:13where is that somewhere else?
34:14And now we're getting into
34:15a really big question.
34:17Where is that somewhere else?
34:18Deep questions, John.
34:19And I also...
34:21I'm gonna provide it.
34:23Okay, so I often do go,
34:25you know, out into the world
34:26and I give talks
34:26and climate change is one,
34:28you know, one of the topics.
34:29And at the end of the talk,
34:30people always ask me the same question.
34:32How are we going to solve this?
34:34And I say to them
34:35what I'm gonna say to you right now.
34:37If I had the answer,
34:39do you think I would keep it from you?
34:40You know, do you think
34:41that I wouldn't have written it
34:42in this book if I had the answer?
34:44I do not have this answer.
34:46It's not that I'm withholding.
34:47It's not that I'm holding out on you, John.
34:49Yeah.
34:49I feel like you are.
34:50I feel like you don't want to tell me.
34:54I will also say,
34:55one thing that I will say, though,
34:57is that there are better
34:58and worse things to do.
34:59I think that that's pretty clear.
35:01And what we are doing right now
35:02under a certain president,
35:04whom you have, you know,
35:06amply taken care of
35:08earlier in the show,
35:09we are, um...
35:12You know...
35:14That...
35:15Yeah.
35:17If that is not the blurb
35:22for our Emmy campaign,
35:23I don't know what would be.
35:24Exactly.
35:25You can use...
35:26You can use that one, John.
35:27Um, uh, you know,
35:29we are really, uh,
35:31moving so far
35:32in the wrong direction,
35:33and we are trying to force
35:34our allies
35:35to move in the wrong direction.
35:36So any kind of progress
35:37that was being made
35:38and some modest amount
35:40of progress
35:41was being made,
35:42we, we, the U.S.,
35:43is now trying to destroy.
35:45And that is something
35:46that, uh,
35:47is pretty unconscionable.
35:48But does that point
35:49to how difficult this is,
35:52that it's not
35:55so politically viable?
35:57Like, as soon as...
35:58Everybody's on board
35:59until gas goes up 10 cents.
36:02So the minute...
36:03You know, originally,
36:04there was all the, like,
36:05we're gonna put a carbon tax
36:06on things,
36:07and that's the only thing
36:08that's gonna reduce consumption.
36:09And the minute they did that,
36:11they got voted out of office
36:12and, and new people came in.
36:14Or, uh, the farmers in France,
36:16you know, were like,
36:17you can't do this to us
36:18in terms of trucking
36:19or the way that we produce things.
36:21There are political realities to this.
36:23Yes, there are.
36:24But I think that the other,
36:25there are other political realities
36:27to which we, you know,
36:28there's actually tremendous amounts
36:30of money to be made
36:31on clean energy
36:32if we would, you know,
36:34stop, um, basically,
36:37you know, we prop up fossil fuels
36:38in this country
36:39to the tune of many billions
36:40of dollars worth of tax.
36:42Sure, sure.
36:43But we also do that
36:44to, to green energy
36:45and solar renewables.
36:45Well, we were trying to.
36:46Or, or did.
36:47We were trying to.
36:48Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:48Right, exactly.
36:49So I don't know
36:50that we, um,
36:52can assume
36:52that the politics of this,
36:54the politics of this
36:55are always, you know,
36:57and I don't want
36:58to be a conspiracy theorist.
36:59Please.
37:00Yeah.
37:00But the politics of this
37:02are always being manipulated
37:04by people who have
37:05a pretty solid vested interest
37:07in the status quo.
37:08Right.
37:08Who might those be?
37:09Yeah.
37:10I think that the.
37:11Epstein.
37:12Yeah.
37:14I think that, you know,
37:16the U.S. is now,
37:17uh, the largest oil
37:19and gas producer
37:20on the planet.
37:21Sure.
37:21And there are very,
37:22very serious
37:23economic interests
37:24at stake here.
37:25And so I think
37:26that the way
37:27that the politics
37:28get manipulated,
37:29um, that is
37:30a serious problem.
37:31But I don't think
37:32that politics have
37:33to be, uh,
37:34opposed to progress.
37:36Right.
37:37And my understanding
37:38is that we have tried
37:40to do those things
37:41and that it has not
37:42been as viable
37:43as we would have liked
37:44in terms of solar
37:45and the new grid
37:46and all those other things,
37:47that it's,
37:47it's been difficult.
37:48And I wonder, like,
37:50are we going to have to
37:51make cleaning up
37:53the carbon
37:54more worth it financially?
37:57Or, or as you say,
37:58maybe it's,
37:58that's just not
37:59a possibility.
38:00Well, I think that,
38:01you know,
38:01if you do look at
38:02what is happening
38:03in China right now,
38:04and China is,
38:05you know,
38:05has managed to overtake us
38:07pretty much,
38:07you know,
38:08in the time since
38:08we last talked,
38:09uh, talked,
38:10uh, become, you know,
38:11by far the world's
38:12biggest emitter
38:13on a sort of annual basis.
38:15Right.
38:15And the Chinese...
38:16Yeah, they're building
38:16coal plants like it's nothing,
38:18like it's going out of style.
38:18Well, they, they,
38:19they are also putting up
38:21clean energy
38:21like it's not nothing.
38:22Like it's going out of style.
38:23Yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:24And they're going to...
38:25Coal plants
38:26and clean energy.
38:27They're going to own
38:28those new industries.
38:30And we are going to,
38:31you know,
38:31sort of cling to
38:32old industries.
38:33And so it's sort of like
38:34if you were, you know,
38:35making kerosene lamps,
38:37you know,
38:37in the 19th century
38:38and someone said,
38:38well, there's this great invention
38:40called a light bulb.
38:41Maybe you'd want to get into that.
38:43Right.
38:43And we said, no,
38:43we really want to stick
38:44with kerosene lamps.
38:45And that is really,
38:46honestly, what we're doing.
38:48That is what we're doing.
38:49And so what we're doing,
38:50uh, might seem to make
38:52a lot of sense right now,
38:53but I think when we look back
38:54on it, uh,
38:5510, 20 years from now,
38:56both economically
38:57and environmentally,
38:59it will not make sense.
39:00No, I agree with you.
39:00And I think it doesn't
39:01make a lot of sense.
39:02It's more that, uh,
39:03unfortunately,
39:04making sense
39:05has not been our forte.
39:06Exactly.
39:07Exactly.
39:08That's kind of my point
39:09is all I was saying.
39:09Well, I totally agree with that.
39:11You know, I knew
39:11we would come to a thing,
39:12so if you could...
39:14If you could...
39:17Very nice.
39:17If you could just give my wife
39:23a different phrase
39:23to say to me,
39:24that would...
39:25Yeah.
39:25Well, I also just do want
39:26to make one point
39:27before I...
39:28Yes, please.
39:28...before I, um...
39:30You know,
39:30it really is true now
39:32that solar,
39:33putting up new solar energy,
39:35new...
39:35is the cheapest form
39:37of new energy,
39:38of added capacity.
39:39That is true.
39:40And that fact
39:41is something
39:41that we should be celebrating
39:43and building on.
39:44Is that with subsidies
39:45or without,
39:46or it just...
39:46It just is the cheapest?
39:47It just is cheapest.
39:48It just is cheapest.
39:49And liability as well.
39:50And also, even in the
39:51developing world,
39:52a lot of countries
39:54are moving that way,
39:55a lot of countries
39:56that have a lot of sun,
39:57because it is simply cheaper,
39:59not even for environmentalists.
40:00See, there you go.
40:00That's a piece of information
40:01I did not have,
40:02and that maybe could change
40:03my cynicism on this.
40:05Well, far be it from me
40:07to want to change
40:07your cynicism, John.
40:09Okay.
40:10Life on a Little Known Planet
40:11available now.
40:12Elizabeth Colbert.
40:13Nicely done.
40:16Do you...
40:16Do you...
40:17Hey, everybody!
40:38That's our show for tonight.
40:40Before we go,
40:41if you're sitting at home
40:42thinking,
40:42hey, you know,
40:43I like seeing you
40:44on the TV there,
40:45old John,
40:46but I wish I could be
40:47disappointed by your height
40:49in person.
40:50Well, I've got good news
40:51for you.
40:51Not just coming here.
40:52I'm going to be
40:53on the old Broadway.
40:54The old Broadway.
40:57What is it there?
40:58Can you see it?
40:59I'm going to move it
41:00in and out.
41:00Like in 3D.
41:02This holiday season
41:03is starting December 12th,
41:04a play called All Out,
41:05reading a collection
41:06of stories
41:07by hilarious writer
41:09Simon Rich,
41:09who's just...
41:10He's just fantastic.
41:11And there's going to be
41:12a rotating cast,
41:13I think,
41:13four each time.
41:15We're going to have
41:15Jim Gaffigan,
41:15Mike Pribiglia,
41:16Sarah Silverman,
41:17Abby Jacobson,
41:18all kinds of incredible
41:20comedians.
41:21It's my first appearance
41:22on Broadway,
41:23aside from,
41:23obviously,
41:24very kind of you.
41:30Aside from my brief
41:31five-year run
41:32as Guy in Elmo costume
41:35in Times Square
41:38asking people
41:41if I could tickle them.
41:45Come check out All Out
41:46if you'd like to find out
41:48more at the link below
41:48and tune in all this week.
41:49Desi,
41:50hosting your show tomorrow.
41:51Josh,
41:52hosting your show Wednesday.
41:53Jordan,
41:54hosting your show Thursday.
41:55Here it is.
41:56Your moment is in.
41:57And they came in
41:58and they were unvetted.
42:00They were unchecked.
42:00There were many of them.
42:02And they came in
42:02on big planes
42:03and it was disgraceful.
42:06Actually,
42:06if you were in America,
42:07he'd be talking about you.
42:09Yes.
42:10Thank God I'm not in America.
42:12Sorry.
Be the first to comment