- 9 hours ago
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert - Season 11 Episode 42 -
Lady Gaga, Mikie Sherrill, Kristin Chenoweth, Stephen Schwartz, Daniel Craig
Lady Gaga, Mikie Sherrill, Kristin Chenoweth, Stephen Schwartz, Daniel Craig
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00sent his erotic poetry to journalist Olivia Nuzzi.
00:04The raunchy poetry in question contains such phrases as
00:07Drink from me, love, and I am a river, you are my canyon, I mean to flow through you.
00:16Looking for the perfect holiday gift for your romantic partner?
00:19Then pick up RFK Jr.'s magnetic poetry.
00:23Imagine her reaction when she looks at the fridge and sees phrases like
00:27I long to harvest your loin crop.
00:29I will feast upon your Hidden Valley's ranch.
00:32And Manju's volcano.
00:35With RFK Jr.'s magnetic poetry, you too can sound like a pervert
00:39whose brain has been partially eaten by a worm.
00:43So this Christmas, give the gift that says
00:45I yearn to fill your storm drain with my gentleman runoff.
00:49It's The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
00:54Tonight, Dawgward Spiral.
00:57And Lady Gaga takes the Colbert Questionnaire.
01:03Plus, Stephen Welkom.
01:06Governor-elect Mikey Sherrill.
01:09And a performance from the Broadway production of The Queen of Versailles.
01:14With a special appearance by Daniel Craig.
01:19Featuring Louis Cato and The Late Show Band.
01:25And now, live on tape from the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City, it's Stephen Colbert.
01:32That's all right, you're a little slow, you're a little slow to know.
01:44Thank you very much.
01:45Welcome.
01:47Welcome, one and all, in here, out there, all around the world, to The Late Show.
01:51I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.
01:52I want to start off by wishing everybody a happy Cyber Monday.
02:02Thank you for glancing up from your phone to see my face.
02:06Now, get back in there.
02:08There's a sale in those rings that tell you you're not getting enough sleep.
02:10Of course, holiday deals kicked off on Friday, and when there's cash, the president will be grabbing.
02:19Last week, he sent an email to supporters that said,
02:23To celebrate Black Friday, President Trump decided to reduce the price of his iconic red MAGA hat ornament to just $37.
02:33That's right.
02:34For a limited time only, he dramatically reduced the price of his famed hat ornament,
02:39which previously was available only on his website for $30.
02:48So, Trump's Black Friday deal is to charge you more.
02:53But wait, there's less.
02:55Call now.
02:56And while you're on the phone, I'll sneak into your house, steal some stuff, and put your pet in the dishwasher.
03:03But that's not all.
03:04Trump sent another email promising a new low price on a Trump calendar for $32, which is available on his website for $25.
03:13Okay, but for those extra seven bucks, they throw in an MP3 of Lee Greenwood, singing all the dates.
03:20I'm proud to be your calendar, starting with January.
03:25The first is first, the second is next, and then comes number three.
03:30And number four, five, or sometimes six.
03:34Seven could be next.
03:38MAGA folks are starting to notice that Trump treats them like meat animals.
03:42According to one Trump ally, people voted for him to lower prices, to bring manufacturing back,
03:47to stand up to those taking advantage of them.
03:50They didn't vote for him to build a damn gilded ballroom.
03:54Ah, okay.
03:56I'll have you know that the entire purpose of that ballroom is to serve the poor,
04:01and they will be delicious.
04:06Oh, oh, oh!
04:11You elitists don't think poor people will be delicious?
04:15How dare you?
04:18Americans are well marbled!
04:19Trump celebrated Thanksgiving in his traditional way, with racism.
04:27He posted an anti-immigrant rant that was so long, he had to put in a dot, dot, dot,
04:33take a breather, and then come back for seconds.
04:36Somewhere in all of that nonsense, Trump attacked Minnesota's immigration policies
04:41and called Governor Tim Walz the R-word.
04:44Walz responded with four words of his own.
04:48Release the MRI results.
04:49In response,
04:53In response,
04:53In response,
04:55In response,
05:00Trump says he will release MRI results, but doesn't know what part of his body
05:05was scanned.
05:08Here's a theory.
05:10Maybe the part that's broken is the part that's supposed to know.
05:14Trump was asked about the whole thing on Air Force One.
05:25Governor Walz asked you to release the MRI records.
05:29So, if they want to release it, it's okay with me to release it.
05:33It's perfect.
05:34If you want to have it released, I'll release it.
05:36Please, please.
05:36Can you tell us what they were looking at?
05:38For what?
05:39Releasing?
05:40No, no, no.
05:40What part of your body was the MRI looking at?
05:42I have no idea.
05:43It was just an MRI.
05:44What part of the body?
05:45It wasn't the brain because I took a cognitive test and I aced it.
05:50Okay.
05:51Look.
05:51No, it's true.
05:52It's true.
05:52It wasn't the brain.
05:54Okay.
05:54I did so well on the cognitive, they put me in the extra credit tube.
05:59Spun that thing around.
06:04Took off my watch and my ring.
06:09As per usual, after the president said something, the White House scrambled to justify it.
06:13This afternoon, they posted a letter from the president's doctor who claims the MRI was given,
06:18quote, because men in his age group benefit from a thorough evaluation of cardiovascular and abdominal health.
06:26Okay.
06:26Fair enough.
06:27Men in his age group also benefit from retiring.
06:30So can we write that prescription next?
06:37Try that.
06:38Try that.
06:38The old abdominal MRI isn't the only reason folks are concerned.
06:49Trump's also showing more signs of aging.
06:51Last week, the New York Times noted that compared to his first term,
06:54Trump has fewer public events on his schedule and most of his public appearances fall between noon and 5 p.m.
07:01Working noon to 5, what a way to make a living, medically alive.
07:06Getting bitchy at Thanksgiving, but I can barely keep the rhythm.
07:13You're not helping at all.
07:17Please.
07:18Please.
07:20That's two.
07:21Two song parodies in one monologue.
07:22Yes.
07:23But the real reason Trump might seem so lethargic is that he does not get regular exercise,
07:29in part because he has a long-held theory that people are born with a finite amount of energy
07:33and that vigorous activity can deplete that reserve like a battery.
07:37It's true.
07:38I'm just like a battery.
07:40I got a copper top.
07:42Nobody knows the right way to get rid of me.
07:44And at a certain age, I started to leak a lot of weird fluids.
08:00Now, green, all crusty on one end.
08:02All right, right, right, right.
08:06Elsewhere in the administration, it was a tough weekend for a defense secretary
08:09and your brother-in-law at the christening saying,
08:12Oh, what?
08:13It's my fault the priest can't take a punch?
08:14Pete Hegseth.
08:16On Thursday, the Washington Post published a blockbuster story
08:20on the administration's first bombing of an alleged drug smuggling boat back in September.
08:26According to the Post's sources, Secretary Pete Hegseth ordered the Navy to, quote,
08:31kill them all after the first strike.
08:34A live drone feed showed two survivors,
08:36so the commander overseeing the operation then ordered a second strike
08:39to comply with Hegseth's directive killing both survivors.
08:44That is unspeakably horrific, though I do finally understand the end of Titanic.
08:51I will never let go, Jack.
08:52I'll never let go.
09:00Eagle One, we got them.
09:02They let go.
09:06Let's be clear.
09:09Let's be clear.
09:10Killing unarmed people floating in the ocean who are unable to fight
09:13is against the Uniform Code of Military Justice and all international law.
09:18As one lawyer said in the National Review,
09:20it would be, at best, a war crime.
09:23At best?
09:25What's worse than a war crime?
09:28A war crime with raisins?
09:30Trump was asked about the scandal on Air Force One.
09:36Can you talk a little bit about the strikes and the controversy around Secretary of Defense,
09:40Pete Hegseth?
09:41I don't know anything about it.
09:42He said he did not say that, and I believe him 100%.
09:45You're talking about the two men?
09:48You're talking about the two men?
09:50The two men Pete Hegseth ordered killed after he already blew up their boat?
09:53What, those two men?
09:55Yeah, I don't know anything about it, because of abdomen.
10:00They don't know anything about it.
10:04Abdomen?
10:06Abdomen.
10:08Kidneys, Doc.
10:10Kidneys.
10:10Hegseth responded to the accusation of murder by tweeting this image of a beloved children's
10:17turtle, Franklin, strafing fishing boats.
10:21No, you leave Franklin out of this.
10:23Franklin is many things.
10:25Franklin is bossy.
10:27Franklin is messy.
10:29Franklin is wants a pet.
10:31But Franklin is not a war criminal.
10:34That is Caillou.
10:35Get them straits.
10:36Caillou catching a stray right there.
10:44That's terrible.
10:45We haven't seen such a disturbing children's book since Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Did You Do?
10:54Hegseth isn't the only Trump official in hot water these days.
10:57Things are not going well for FBI director and...
11:00FBI director and normal man, not high, why, who's asking?
11:05Nobody what?
11:06I'm fine.
11:07Power drugs.
11:09Cash Patel.
11:10A new report came out just yesterday from current and former FBI employees.
11:15And they say Patel is not very good, inexperienced, in over his head, and that he may be insecure.
11:22Well, if he wasn't already, he is now.
11:25The report also describes Patel's FBI as a rudderless ship and all f***ed up.
11:34And everybody at the bureau knows it.
11:37That's why their windbreakers now say F-ed-B-I.
11:40The report also said that on a mission back in September, Patel forgot to bring his FBI
11:55jacket and refused to step off the plane without wearing one, forcing local FBI agents to ask
12:01around to find an FBI jacket that would fit.
12:04And that is not easy, because Patel's jacket size is Elf on Shelf.
12:09We've got a great show for you tonight.
12:12My guests are Lady Gaga and New Jersey Governor-elect Mike and Cheryl.
12:17But when we come back, I ask some very big questions for you with a very big star.
12:22Stick around.
12:23Hey, everybody.
12:48Give it up for Louis Cato and The Late Show Band, everybody.
12:53Thanks, everybody.
13:01Folks, you know, lately I've been pondering a lot of existential questions.
13:07Might be the end of the year, end of the show, end of democracy.
13:12Who knows?
13:12But when I start to wax philosophical, I like to head to a special hillside where I explore
13:18the mysteries of the universe with people who clearly have all the answers to life.
13:23And that's movie stars.
13:25And for the biggest questions, we turn only to the biggest stars.
13:30This is Big Questions with even bigger stars.
13:33Wow.
13:45Wow, look at all those gorgeous stars.
13:49It's so weird taking applause and lying down.
14:05Just like us, they're beautiful and full of gas.
14:08Daniel, Craig, what are you doing up here?
14:14Sometimes my thoughts get so deep that I have to seek higher ground so I won't drown in my
14:19own smartness.
14:22Right, yeah.
14:23Hey, hey, Daniel?
14:24Yes, Stephen?
14:26What do you think happens after you die?
14:28I think they wait a few years and then reboot the whole thing with a different British actor.
14:36Hey, Stephen.
14:37Yeah, Daniel?
14:39Do you think beauty is only skin deep?
14:42Oh, no.
14:43I have very sexy kidneys.
14:46Yeah.
14:47Dan?
14:48Steve.
14:49If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
14:53I would make it so oatmeal raisin cookies don't look so much like chocolate chip cookies.
15:01You bite in, expecting chocolate, only to find old grapes and lies.
15:07Hey, SC?
15:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:11That was a really good point.
15:13Yeah.
15:13Really good point.
15:14Yeah.
15:15Yeah, DC?
15:17What's the last thing you hope to see before you die?
15:20Oh, probably the face of the person I'm about to switch bodies with.
15:25Uh-huh, yeah.
15:27Hey, hey, Dan the man?
15:29Yeah, Stephen, who is also technically a man.
15:34You ever wonder if the reality we're experiencing right now is actually taking place in someone
15:40else's dream?
15:42No.
15:44Usually when I'm in someone else's dream, I'm not wearing this many clothes.
15:50Yeah.
15:51Yeah.
15:52Yeah.
15:53Yeah.
15:54That's, uh, that's true.
15:58That's true.
15:59Hey, Steve of Destruction.
16:02Yes.
16:04Danimal.
16:04Do you think there are multiple universes?
16:09Yes.
16:10Yes, I do.
16:11Mm-hmm.
16:11And however different they may be in place and in time, they all sell delicious chicken
16:18wonton tacos.
16:20Wait, are you thinking of Applebee's?
16:23Yeah, sh**, sorry.
16:25Yeah, I'm thinking of Applebee's.
16:27Hey, Cray.
16:28Yeah, Cole?
16:30What came before the Big Bang?
16:33Hopefully some generous foreplay.
16:35Hey, hey, coleslaw.
16:38Yeah, yeah, Danwich.
16:40How can we truly know the difference between art and pornography?
16:46Oh, it's not easy, but I'd say no one's ever yelled at me for watching art on the bus.
16:52Oh.
16:54Oh.
16:55Look at that shooting star.
16:56Oh, oh, oh.
16:57Isn't that beautiful?
16:58Make a wish.
16:59Make a wish.
16:59Hey, Craigslist?
17:01Yes, Stevia?
17:02Right now, if you could magically transport yourself to any place in time, where would it be?
17:09Oh, that's easy.
17:11I would be right here laying on the stage of the Ed Sullivan Theater.
17:15Oh.
17:17Oh, Daniel, I gotta say, that is just, that is so sweet of you.
17:20I wasn't, I wasn't finished.
17:21I'd be laying on the stage of the Ed Sullivan Theater on February 9th, 1964, when the Beatles
17:28made their U.S. debut.
17:32Paul McCartney's crotch would be right here.
17:41What a genius.
17:43If you weren't a famous talk show host, what do you think you'd be?
17:48Well, I'm about to find out.
17:49Hey, James Bond?
17:59Yeah, the voice of Perry Prescott in Despicable Me 4.
18:03Sorry.
18:05Sorry.
18:06Sorry.
18:07Don't be jealous.
18:09Do you believe that God is watching all of us all the time?
18:13No, no, no.
18:14I think at least some of the time he's watching Wake Up Dead Man and Knives Out Mystery in the
18:19Theatres and Streaming on Netflix on December 12th.
18:22Well, that, you got that line out.
18:26Well, that answers, that answers all my questions about the universe.
18:30See more of Daniel Craig in Wake Up Dead Man and Knives Out Mystery and see more of me when
18:35I come back.
18:36Hey, welcome back, everybody.
18:53Ladies and gentlemen, my friends and neighbors, Roman's countrymen.
19:01Thank you very much.
19:02Please.
19:04Folks, a few months ago, I sat down with the one and only Lady Gaga for an interview at
19:12New York's The Bitter End.
19:13Well, just a few weeks after that interview aired, Gaga received a career-high seven Grammy
19:18nominations.
19:20Coincidence?
19:21You betcha.
19:22But, turns out there was even more to know about Stephanie Germanotta.
19:27Yvonne?
19:28Lady Gaga, Stephanie.
19:30Yes, yes.
19:30It's wonderful to talk to you every time I get a chance to interview.
19:33It's always really enjoyable.
19:35It's always illuminating.
19:36It's always inspiring as an artist.
19:38But, obviously, even the longest interview can't penetrate directly to the soul of someone
19:43unless you prepare the proper questions.
19:45And we at The Late Show have something called the Colbert Questionnaire.
19:48Thank you kindly.
19:49Well, you're welcome.
19:51It's an honor that you consider this.
19:52Are you willing to be fully known?
19:53Because once these questions are actually asked of you, you will be opened as a book before
19:59the world to be read.
20:00Well, I think that's already happened.
20:03Okay, good.
20:03So, here we go.
20:05We're going to be fine.
20:05Lady Gaga.
20:06Here we go.
20:07Colbert Questionnaire.
20:13First question.
20:15What is the best sandwich?
20:16The best sandwich?
20:20I, okay, an Italian sub.
20:22Okay.
20:23But also, which is ham and butter and cheese on a baguette.
20:32Love that, too.
20:33So, an Italian sub, but in French.
20:35Yeah.
20:35Or, like, one of each.
20:37What was the first concert you attended?
20:40The first concert I attended, I think, was Jingle Ball.
20:45Who played Jingle Ball?
20:46Do you remember?
20:47I remember the Goo Goo Dolls played.
20:49And they had snow.
20:51On stage?
20:52They had snow.
20:53And I was losing my mind.
20:55That there was, it was my first experience with, like, production in an arena.
21:00Yeah.
21:00I was crying.
21:02Crying.
21:03My mother was like, what's wrong with you?
21:06Crying.
21:07What is the scariest animal?
21:10Um, I don't like really large birds.
21:14Like a stork?
21:16I don't like, like a hawk.
21:19Okay.
21:19Like a big hawk.
21:20They just scare me.
21:21I don't know why.
21:22It's like a baby dino.
21:23Like they're going to come down and pick you up and pull you back to the nest.
21:27Scary.
21:28Apples or oranges?
21:33I think oranges.
21:35Okay.
21:36You judged me.
21:37What?
21:38You did.
21:38I did not at all.
21:40I was like, okay.
21:40You were like, oh, New York, big apple.
21:42Oh, you left.
21:43I felt it.
21:43No, you just can't put peanut butter on an orange.
21:45Okay.
21:46Apple is just, I'm not saying.
21:47You can dip an orange in chocolate.
21:49This is true.
21:49You can dip darker milk.
21:52Dark.
21:52For the orange.
21:52Dark.
21:53For the, yeah.
21:54Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?
21:58I don't think so.
22:03If I did, okay, yes, I do.
22:06I ask fans to autograph their art that they give me.
22:09If they give me a piece of art.
22:10That's nice.
22:11What do you think happens when we die?
22:13I'm not sure.
22:18I think we all just vanish into each other.
22:21I say that on stage every night, but I think it's just what I believe.
22:24Vanish into each other.
22:26That's interesting.
22:26Like, I definitely believe that, like, the soul, like, kind of is forever here in some way.
22:36Like, that you go from being in one place to being everywhere.
22:42Can you sense those souls?
22:45Like, right now?
22:46Yeah.
22:46Yeah, I think so.
22:47I think sometimes when people pass away, I go, like, they're everywhere now.
22:50They show up.
22:51Yeah.
22:52And I'm like, now that I know.
22:53They wink at you sometimes.
22:54Right.
22:55Favorite action movie?
22:58In the Line of Fire.
23:00Okay.
23:02Quality Clint.
23:03What a movie.
23:05I love that movie.
23:06Window or Aisle?
23:08Window.
23:09For the view?
23:11Or for the privacy?
23:12For the feeling of safety.
23:15Between someone and the wall.
23:17Yeah.
23:17Okay, there you go.
23:18Favorite smell?
23:19And so I can, like, jam my feet into the seat in front of me, because I get uncomfortable,
23:24you know?
23:25And the person in front of you is fine with that?
23:27No.
23:28Never.
23:29And then, like, I sometimes, I would, I used to, I was, I would, like, a lot for tours
23:33years ago, and I would bring a pillow, so it would be, like, a whole situation, because
23:37you'd really need to sleep, so I'd have the pillow, and I'd have the feet.
23:41Eye mask and all that?
23:42No.
23:43No?
23:43No.
23:43No.
23:43That would, that would be too chic for me.
23:47Favorite smell?
23:49Favorite smell?
23:51Michael's neck.
23:52Michael's neck.
23:53Do you wear cologne, Michael?
23:55No.
23:55No, that's just your natural musk?
23:58I actually don't like cologne.
24:00Oh, you don't?
24:00That's, that's my least favorite.
24:02Least favorite smell?
24:03Yes.
24:04Cologne.
24:04Cologne.
24:05Like, guys who are soaked with, yeah.
24:07No, just, like, strong cologne.
24:09Got it.
24:10Mm-mm.
24:11Not for me.
24:12Earliest memory?
24:16My earliest memory in life?
24:19In, like, all of life.
24:20Or, or, or before life, if you can think that early.
24:23Earliest memory in life.
24:25If you remember something other than life, that would be fascinating.
24:28I think my earliest memory is my mom and dad giving me a, a toy, um, like a plastic kitchen.
24:37Like a little, like a...
24:38Like a Fisher-Price home kitchen.
24:39Yeah, like a, like a, like a, like a, and I remember being really excited because I could
24:44play, play house.
24:47Cats or dogs?
24:49Dogs.
24:51You only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life.
24:56What is it?
24:56That doesn't mean you have to listen to it continually, but in this scenario, when you go listen to
25:01music, this is the song you get to hear.
25:03I think it would be John Lennon Imagine.
25:07I grew up really close to the John Lennon Memorial, so that has like a very special significance
25:15for me.
25:16What number am I thinking of?
25:19I don't know.
25:20I have no idea.
25:21I don't...
25:2142?
25:23No.
25:23Okay.
25:24Good answer, though.
25:2442 is a really good answer.
25:27Describe the rest of your life in five words.
25:31Um, it's gonna be great, hopefully.
25:39Congratulations, Stephanie.
25:41You are known.
25:43Thanks again to Lady Gaga.
25:46Good luck with the Grammys.
25:48We'll be right back with Governor-elect of New Jersey, Mikey Sherrill.
25:54Hey, everybody.
26:06Welcome back to The Late Show.
26:09Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a veteran Navy pilot and former member of the United States
26:17Congress.
26:18She was just elected governor of the great state of New Jersey.
26:20Please welcome Governor-elect Mikey Sherrill.
26:24Well, Governor-elect Sherrill, nice to have you on the show.
26:48Nice to be here.
26:50You are...
26:51You are presently between gigs, as we say, in my business.
26:58Uh-huh.
26:59You resigned from Congress how long ago?
27:01About a week and a half ago.
27:02A week and a half ago.
27:03You heard that Marjorie Taylor Greene was leaving.
27:05You're like, I'm out of here.
27:06If she's leaving, what's the use of staying anymore?
27:09Let's talk about your victory, okay?
27:11It was, um, I mean, you, I think you were the frontrunner for most of the race, but not
27:17by a ton.
27:19You know, the polls were like four, three or four points toward the end, something like
27:22that?
27:23Am I right?
27:23Right, right.
27:24Um, and I think that, that might have been, like, a generic ballot.
27:28Sure.
27:29But we were, we were working incredibly hard to build something different.
27:33Well, you sure did, because you won by 56.9% to 42.5%, which is 14.4 points.
27:40Which, which, which, like, it, which, which political experts call, have a term for, it's
27:49called a curb stomping.
27:52November 4th was big for you, Abigail Spamberger, and Zoran Mamdani here in the city.
27:58What ideas, what do you think, do you think there's a commonality between any of those victories?
28:06Yeah, I think, uh, fighting hard for people, listening to people on the ground.
28:10And delivering on a different vision than what is being presented by the president in
28:17Washington.
28:18And people, I think right now, it's, these are scary times, um, and to navigate these
28:26is going to take some real leadership.
28:28Donald Trump was one of the reasons why you ran for Congress in 2018.
28:32You've, you know, you saw the crisis of the moment.
28:34And what does resisting his agenda look like to you now that you'll be a governor of a state?
28:41So, obviously, there are areas where I really need the federal government to start performing
28:48better, uh, when it comes to infrastructure, when it comes to SNAP, schools, medical care,
28:53et cetera, et cetera.
28:54So, we're going to fight that, uh, and work with, with anybody in the administration who
28:59we can to deliver on those promises.
29:01But that doesn't mean in any way, shape, or form hiding or ducking or not standing up
29:08against those things that are going on that are so wrong.
29:11I, I mean, you know, I'm glad you're sitting down.
29:13You might not know this.
29:14Some people are losing their jobs because they're speaking out against the president of the United
29:19States.
29:23Yes?
29:24Yeah.
29:24Are you talking about?
29:26Incorporable.
29:27I hope you got something to back that up with.
29:29You were a Navy helicopter pilot.
29:31Uh, you were on the Armed Services Committee.
29:33Can you explain what's happening in the Caribbean right now?
29:36I mean, as members of Congress, do you get updates, uh, to what the administration is doing
29:41and any evidence they present?
29:43Well, in its oversight responsibilities, Congress should get just that.
29:48I've sat on the House Armed Services Committee and the, um, the chair of the committee, Republican
29:54and the ranking member, Democrat, have both stated that, you know, the administration owes
29:59them evidence and, and a hearing so that they can understand what evidence the administration
30:05is using on this, this bombing.
30:06And now, certainly, as you see the second bombing that took place when people were in
30:12the water, struggling, not a threat, that would be a war crime.
30:17It, it, it looks like it's a war crime to me, uh, as somebody who served.
30:21And what's problematic about that is the fact that this country that I've spent my life serving
30:29is operating in this way.
30:32It, it, it's a stain on our honor, it's horrible, it's illegal, it's awful, but it's also now
30:40taking every single member of the armed forces and making them once again, as they do in many
30:45cases almost every day, stop and say, what is my job here as I'm trying to serve the Constitution?
30:52I, you know, every member of our military takes an oath to the Constitution to protect
30:57and defend it.
30:58And so they are all weighing right now.
31:00Do I stay and stand in the breach and try to protect against these types of actions?
31:05Or am I complicit?
31:07And where is the line?
31:09And that I hear all the time from so many people serving in federal government.
31:13What is my responsibility here?
31:14And so many people are trying to hold the line, but this, this type of, of incompetence, of,
31:23of disrespect for the military, of disrespect for our troops, of, of self-serving, and, and
31:29it is just so offensive to me as a veteran and as somebody who cares so deeply about service
31:35to this country and the troops who serve this country.
31:38You have to take a quick break.
31:43We'll be right back with more of Governor-Elect Mikey Sherrill.
31:46Everybody, stick around.
31:52Oh, my gosh.
31:54That's amazing.
31:56Hey, everybody.
31:56We're back with the Governor-Elect of New Jersey, Mikey Sherrill.
32:01I was saying you're a Navy helicopter pilot.
32:04That's kind of badass thing to have done.
32:06You all, you wanted to be a pilot when you were younger, but I understand that you actually
32:11did something even more badass, not far from this theater, uh, over, uh, on the east side
32:17here.
32:18Can you tell everybody, uh, the, um, well, you were, you were definitely in it.
32:22Tell people what happened.
32:24Okay.
32:24I, I just want to, in my defense, I just want to say a couple of things.
32:28No one's attacking you.
32:30Wait till they hear the story.
32:31No.
32:31Uh, so I, um, there is a book when women are pregnant that they often read.
32:37Maybe you and Evie know it.
32:39It's called What to Expect When You're Expecting.
32:41Sure, of course.
32:42So I had thumbed through that.
32:43And there is a chapter called How to Deliver Your Own Baby, which I had made a lot of fun
32:47of.
32:48Uh, you know, for the women on the go who doesn't have time to go, you know, to the hospital.
32:52You know, just here's a do it, do it yourself life hack.
32:55Um, so I'd been making a lot of fun of this chapter.
32:58So, you know, my suggestion is karma's tough.
33:00Don't do that to people who are pregnant.
33:02Uh, and then I also, there, um, my sister at the time, it was her first pregnancy and
33:08my second, and she was very stressed about the whole thing.
33:10But, you know, I wasn't like a normal pregnant lady.
33:13I was a cool pregnant lady, right?
33:14So, you know, I was going to handle this.
33:16Um, so my husband calls and he says, you know, uh, how's it going?
33:21I said, I think today's the day.
33:22He said, I'll come home.
33:23Comes home.
33:24He's like, how's it going?
33:25I said, it's fine.
33:26He said, my mom wants me to stop and get her a cup of coffee.
33:28I said, go ahead, right?
33:29You know, cool pregnant lady.
33:30Sure.
33:31Um, so he stops at the bodega.
33:32I'm on the Upper West Side at this point.
33:34Comes in.
33:35We're on a third floor walk up.
33:36He comes in and I'm having some contraction.
33:38He goes, how far apart are those?
33:39I'm like, I, you know, I don't know.
33:40He goes, let me time them.
33:42He goes, okay, 45 seconds.
33:43He goes, you should call the doctor.
33:45We should call the doctor.
33:46And I said, okay.
33:47So we call the doctor and she goes, yeah, you should, you know, come in.
33:50You don't sound that stressed, but, you know, come in.
33:53Uh, I'm going to have you go to the hospital.
33:55I said, okay.
33:55So we're on the third floor walk up.
33:56So we go down and, um, we're on 95th.
34:00And if you're going to cross Central Park, which is, and this is relevant, only half a mile wide.
34:05We basically just had to get to the other side of the park to Mount Sinai.
34:08So, uh, I walk up to 96.
34:11Jason hails a cab.
34:12We get in.
34:13We get halfway across the park and my water breaks.
34:16And I'm like, I'm having this baby in the cab.
34:19And Jason, my husband, goes, don't push.
34:28Is he here right now?
34:31He's not here.
34:32He's not here.
34:32He is not here, unfortunately.
34:34He's traveling.
34:35Maybe, you know, smartly.
34:36Yeah.
34:36So, yeah.
34:38He says, don't push.
34:39And for anyone, and I can tell from the audience's response, for anyone who's have a baby, that's not really an option.
34:44Right?
34:45That's not something on the table.
34:46And I just looked at him, and so we get to the end of the park, and, um, the light turns red.
34:52And so we're sitting there, and then the light turns green, and then it turns red again, and we're not going anywhere.
34:57And Jason's like, buddy, you've got to make this light.
35:00So we, we finally, the guy kind of pulls some maneuvers.
35:03We get to 97th, and it's just still really jammed up.
35:06So he pulls over, and Jason said, I'm going to go get help, which I have later called pulling a runner on me.
35:15And so I'm like, okay, well, I'm kind of.
35:17He's going to get out for a pack of smokes.
35:18I'll be right back.
35:19Right.
35:19It's an Irish goodbye, right?
35:21Yeah.
35:21So, uh, so I'm like, okay, okay.
35:23So I'm sitting there, and I'm, you know, luckily, I've read the chapter, so I know exactly what I'm doing here.
35:29Sure, sure.
35:29Delivering my own baby.
35:30Not as funny this time.
35:31Right, right, and of course, the cab driver's like, white, he never looks back.
35:34He's just white, not playing the steering wheel, like, oh, my gosh.
35:36So, um, a lady who was at the bus stop, it turns out she'd worked to the hospital, said, you know, can I help?
35:41And I'm like, sure, you know, catch.
35:44So, uh, I have this baby, and, uh, so then, um, you know, I'm holding this baby, and, um, you know, I'm like, oh, my gosh.
35:53You know, I have the little baby, and, and Jason comes running back at this point, and he looks at me, and, and I'm holding our son.
36:01And he, you know, looks down, and he looks at me again, and he goes, I thought I told you not to push.
36:13And you obviously apologize.
36:17Well, governor-elect, thank you so much for being here.
36:20Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.
36:22Governor-elect Mikey Sherrill, everybody.
36:24We'll be right back with a performance from the Broadway show, The Queen of Versailles.
36:29Performing This Is Not The Way, ladies and gentlemen, Christian Chenoweth and Stephen Schwartz
36:38from the Broadway production of The Queen of Versailles.
36:41Welcome to The Queen of Versailles.
36:57I won't throw the towel in just yet
37:12I won't shrug my shoulders and give in to the gloom
37:17I was never someone to heed the voice of doom
37:23I have always been the fighter
37:26Yeah, I know we're drowning in debt
37:31Yeah, I know it seems our Midas touch is gone
37:36But I will find a switch that'll turn the lights back on
37:42Turn them back on even brighter
37:45Let's not roll the credits, there's more to come for certain
37:50Before that final curtain descends
37:55This is not the way our movie ends
38:07We're not staying down in this hole
38:11Though it seems our big life is sliding back too small
38:16We know there's an audience rooting for our fault
38:19They can save their booze and hisses
38:22Cause now I will be taking control
38:25If it's up to me, well okay, full speed ahead
38:29I learned if you never say it, die, you're never dead
38:33And I've been in response than this is
38:36This is not the story of how the seagulls blew it
38:39If I'm the one on whom it depends
38:42I will get us back our groove
38:45Come on, just give me my chance to prove
38:49This is not the way our movie ends
38:58American royalty
39:02I've still got the chance to be
39:05Some folks can live with a lack
39:09I took a different attack
39:11And hell, I'm not going back
39:15Lights, camera, action
39:18Lights, camera, action
39:23Quiet on the set, here we go
39:28Things are looking tougher
39:30But we know it's a fact
39:32In America you can have a second act
39:35So despite the current trends
39:38Watch this time next year
39:40When I host the opening of Versailles
39:45This is not the way to find
39:48Moving, happy, and
40:00Beautiful, beautiful
40:09The queen of Versailles at the St. James Theatre
40:13Until January 4th
40:15This is the channel with Stephen Schwartz, everybody
40:18Good night
40:19Good night
40:19Good night
Be the first to comment