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A League of Their Own (2010) Season 20 Episode 2
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00:00I'm very excited about tonight's show because one of my guests is, well, I guess you'd describe him as a bit of a bad boy, sort of quite outspoken.
00:13This is the moment for Paddy Pimble.
00:15Sort of a small, kind of dangerous package of a man. Very much an alpha male, I'd say.
00:21You talking about me?
00:23Yeah. Yeah, Josh. Of course I'm talking about you.
00:30Hello, I'm Romish Ranganathan. This is the League of the Road and it's fight night.
00:51Let's meet the teams. Joining Jill Scott and Micah Richards in the blue corner is a comedian who looks like Tyson Fury if he'd stopped boxing and done a BTEC in leisure and tourism.
00:59It's Tom Davis.
01:04And alongside Jamie Redknapp on the red team, it's the hardest man in podcasting, the Devon Destroyer, it's Josh Whittaker.
01:15And joining them tonight, he's a food loving UFC star who loves smashing pizzas and people in the face.
01:23It's Paddy, the baddie, Pimble!
01:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:28Come on! Come on, lad! Come on! Come on, lad! Come on! Come on, lad!
01:41APPLAUSE
01:47Howdy, how are you, mate? How are you, Romish? Good? Yeah, very good, thank you.
01:50Good. Yeah, very good. Thank you. Thanks for coming on now listen obviously you're a global star in UFC
01:55One of the most brutal sports on the planet. So I want to start with the obvious question. What's the deal with a haircut?
02:02What's the story?
02:03It was the fashion in Liverpool at the time. We all grew out of it.
02:06I mean everyone had big massive hairdos and I just never grew out of it. Yeah, no, I mean I like it. I love it. I think it's really good.
02:14Rom, you've basically gone for the same haircut yourself.
02:17Tom, you're a big fan of Paddy, aren't you? Massive, massive fan of Paddy. Love him.
02:23Good for the sport, big UFC fan. Thank you very much. Great to watch.
02:26How much would you love to have a head of hair like Paddy's? I just like to have hair.
02:32Well listen Tom, we like to make dreams come true on this show, so I've got something for you.
02:36Wanted to give you the opportunity.
02:38Well, well, do you want to go? Good luck to you.
02:44This is, this is actually an honour.
02:48There we go. We're doing things for that.
02:51Wow.
02:53You look like that half off Waynesville.
02:57I like it.
03:00Tom? You look like my first girlfriend.
03:02My first girlfriend ever been? Yeah.
03:05Really? I think I dated her as well.
03:07Paddy, so can you just talk us through a little bit, but how is it you actually get a win in UFC?
03:14What are the ways that you can win a fight?
03:15Three different ways to win.
03:17Knockout, or TKO.
03:19Yeah.
03:20Submission, so they either tap to the submission or you choke them unconscious.
03:23What?
03:24They choke them unconscious?
03:25Yeah, standard.
03:26What the fuck is this sport?
03:28It's like modern day gladiators, you could say.
03:30Do you know what modern day gladiators is?
03:31Gladiators.
03:32And obviously decision is the other way.
03:33You can win by DQ as well, but no one wants to win by that.
03:36So, I mean, obviously I don't know if you got picked out, but Josh isn't entirely sure about the sport.
03:42Would you mind demonstrating a choke?
03:43No, no, no, no, no, no.
03:44We would like to see Josh.
03:45Yeah!
03:46Paddy, do you mind?
03:47No, no, you can't tap out before us.
03:48Paddy, do you mind coming out?
03:49Just show us, Paddy, what we'd have to do.
03:50We could show you properly and put you unconscious.
03:51Yeah, that'd be amazing.
03:52Let's not pick him up.
03:53Yeah!
03:54Yeah!
03:55Yeah!
03:56Yeah!
03:57Yeah!
03:58Yeah!
03:59Yeah!
04:00Yeah!
04:01Yeah!
04:02Yeah!
04:03Yeah!
04:04Yeah!
04:05Yeah!
04:06Yeah!
04:07Yeah!
04:08Yeah!
04:09Yeah!
04:10Yeah!
04:11And actually, this could be your first ever fight against Paddy Pimlet.
04:14Well, one thought Paddy the baddie.
04:16And the joke will be on you, because what if I win?
04:19It's funny you say that, Josh, because Paddy, I don't want to upset you, but Josh actually
04:23sent me a voice note about it.
04:24No, I didn't.
04:25Oh, hey, Robish, this is Josh Widdicombe.
04:27You know Josh Widdicombe from Last Leg and Parenting Hell.
04:30I just want to say, I thought on League of the World you've got Paddy Pimlet.
04:34I absolutely hate that prick.
04:37That's not me!
04:39That is you!
04:40That's you!
04:41It's not me!
04:42Of course!
04:43I wouldn't say, this is Josh Widdicombe to Romesh.
04:44Listen to this bit.
04:45This is pretty bad.
04:46Paddy the baddie.
04:47More like Paddy the pussy.
04:49Oh, wow!
04:50I didn't think it was me, but it's as funny as me.
04:55Who wants to see it?
04:57Yeah, let's see it.
04:58Yeah!
04:59Yeah!
05:00Paddy, do you mind just like doing...
05:01What are we doing?
05:02Don't choke him out completely.
05:03Oh, cheers, Rob!
05:04Just...
05:05Don't kill me!
05:06I won't proper squeeze it like I would in a fight.
05:08I'll just...
05:09Semi...
05:10Just like Poppy's head like a pimple.
05:11Go on, let's...
05:12OK, come on, let's...
05:13So you're saying you're not going to kill me fast, you're going to kill me slowly?
05:16No, it's all right, you can just stay there cos it's like I'm on your back.
05:19Yeah, one hand goes under.
05:20Can I take my glasses off?
05:21It's not going to make a difference, your glasses, lad, don't worry.
05:24Do you want to be able to see properly as you lose consciousness?
05:27Is that what...?
05:29One hand comes underneath, grab your own bicep.
05:32What?!
05:33This hand goes behind.
05:34Fucking hell!
05:37Just like that.
05:38Oh, this is real!
05:40But you've got to tap...
05:46But when someone's got you like Paddy, you've got to tap out, right?
05:49Oh, yeah, the first thing you do, right, isn't go, are you all right?
05:52It's check the technique with Paddy.
05:54Paddy was just dead!
05:56That genuinely was so much worse than I thought it was going to be.
06:00I could take that.
06:01That's not that bad.
06:02Honestly, I do.
06:03Don't try.
06:04Come on, I just love it!
06:05Just make sure you're tap, please.
06:10I don't want to put you to sleep.
06:11All right.
06:12Make sure you're tap.
06:13Sounds.
06:14Tell me how to look.
06:15Albert, dear.
06:26Minute!
06:29Oh, my...
06:30How was that, mate?
06:31My windpipe's gone.
06:32Is it?
06:33Do you know what?
06:34Only one of us tapped out.
06:35Yes, you are.
06:42OK, let's crack on with round one.
06:44This question is for you, blue team.
06:45Have a look at this.
06:46Let's get ready to rumble!
06:51Oh!
06:52Oh!
06:53What about you?
06:54Oh!
06:55Oh!
06:56Oh!
06:57Let's go from him.
06:59Meme Molly McCann tonight.
07:02That's for the album.
07:05No way!
07:06What a way to answer your critics!
07:12Canelo!
07:22So, there you saw Canelo Alvarez,
07:24Molly Meeble McCann and Anthony Joshua.
07:27All great fighters,
07:29but I want you to match them
07:30to their surprising food-related facts.
07:33Who used to work in an ice cream van?
07:35Who's so tight that they won't let their dinner dates
07:36order starters?
07:38And who celebrated a win
07:39by eating 50 McNuggets in bed?
07:42Jill, what are your first thoughts?
07:4350?
07:4450, yeah.
07:45That's light work.
07:46I'll go 100 nuggets I think I could eat.
07:49Now, Tom, you're looking incredible now,
07:51if you don't mind.
07:51Really good.
07:53What was he looking like before?
07:54I'll tell you, 26 stone, baby.
07:56Bloody hell.
07:57How much you lost, Thomas?
07:59Well, when he was 26 stone, he lost his wife.
08:01LAUGHTER
08:02LAUGHTER
08:03LAUGHTER
08:04LAUGHTER
08:05LAUGHTER
08:07LAUGHTER
08:08LAUGHTER
08:09LAUGHTER
08:10LAUGHTER
08:11My guy, my guy.
08:13No, but listen, you genuinely are looking incredible.
08:15Back in the day, though,
08:16I hope you don't mind me saying
08:17you were no stranger to a bit of a food binge.
08:19Oh, mate, yeah.
08:19So what's the biggest you ever went?
08:21Uh, I used to be addicted.
08:23There was a...
08:23In Chinatown in London,
08:25there used to be an all-you-can-eat buffet.
08:26It was $4.99.
08:27You could go there and eat everything.
08:29$4.99?
08:30Four...
08:30Look, this is...
08:30That must have been shite.
08:32LAUGHTER
08:33LAUGHTER
08:33It wasn't high-end catering.
08:35And I used to go there.
08:36I was working on the sites.
08:37$4.99, good place to go and eat all you can.
08:40And I used to fill up, man.
08:41Anyway, I'd ask this girl out for a date.
08:43Really liked her.
08:44That's the least believable bit of this story.
08:47I thought you would have come to $4.99,
08:49all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.
08:51Well, no, it's the only restaurant I knew in London.
08:53She said, do you know anywhere around here?
08:54I went, I've got just the place.
08:56So we were outside queuing to get into this restaurant.
08:59And she went, is it nice to me?
09:00I went, oh, yeah, it's all-you-can-eat.
09:02What, and had a queue?
09:04$4.99, all-you-can-eat had a queue.
09:06Yeah, it was a...
09:07Yeah, but to be fair, he's paying for her,
09:09so that's $9.98.
09:12I'll give him a 10, I won't ask any change.
09:13And we get to the front of the queue,
09:16and the woman there, she looked at me with a real stare,
09:18and she went, you only go up once.
09:21And then she shouted to all of the waiters,
09:23he only goes up once.
09:25Do you know it's weird, Tom,
09:26when you tell me the story backstage, you did the accent.
09:28Yes.
09:31I figure I'm tickling around being cancelled.
09:33He thought about it, didn't he?
09:35I'm not going to lie, I was very, very close,
09:38and I could see Josh willing me to do it.
09:41Do you know what?
09:41Didn't you go to Caribbean restaurants?
09:43LAUGHTER
09:44It would be some start to the show with it,
09:47two dead, and he's just been cancelled.
09:48LAUGHTER
09:49APPLAUSE
09:50So what about Molly McCann?
09:54Paddy, you're close with Molly, obviously.
09:55How did she get the nickname The Meatball?
09:57Yeah, she used to wear it in Subway, didn't she?
10:00Like, she used to...
10:01She did.
10:02LAUGHTER
10:02She used to do a night shift in Subway, lad,
10:06and then come in the gym the next morning
10:08and you could smell the remnants of meatballs on her.
10:11Yeah.
10:12We thought Tom worked at Subway for a while,
10:14but it was just his...
10:14LAUGHTER
10:14It was just his natural musk.
10:17We've actually got a picture of Molly working in Subway.
10:20There she is.
10:22No, she actually has done that before.
10:23Like, no...
10:24She used to dress up as Subman,
10:26which, coincidentally, was Mix's nickname at Man City.
10:28LAUGHTER
10:29Wow!
10:32Wow!
10:33Wow!
10:35Whoa.
10:35LAUGHTER
10:36LAUGHTER
10:37That's actually fucking...
10:39Look at him, look at him, he's up here himself.
10:41LAUGHTER
10:41Laughing at his own jokes.
10:42What a twerk.
10:43LAUGHTER
10:44LAUGHTER
10:45Uh, now, Paddy, your love of food
10:48has actually earned a reputation for your extreme cuts
10:50to get down to fighting weight.
10:51So have a look at this transformation.
10:54Um...
10:54Ah, yes, Paddy, incredible.
10:56I would argue your wife has had a bigger transformation.
10:58LAUGHTER
10:59LAUGHTER
11:00APPLAUSE
11:06Now, lads...
11:07Have you got something in your pocket,
11:09or are you just really excited to be in that weight?
11:11LAUGHTER
11:12On the...
11:13Oh, dear, on that one?
11:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:15Just buzzing, you might become...
11:16That had the low, the comments on it about that, to be fair.
11:18Oh, I didn't.
11:19But don't worry, it's not that big.
11:20LAUGHTER
11:22I wasn't worrying.
11:23LAUGHTER
11:24Uh, what do you eat just before a fight?
11:26Do you eat just right up to your fight?
11:27Or how do you treat a fight?
11:28Yeah, even the last fight, I was sitting in the back
11:30eating, um, some jellies.
11:32Just eating little bits of...
11:33Just to keep you going.
11:34Little bits of cards.
11:35Right, right, right.
11:36Um, Josh, what do you do to prepare for a big gig?
11:38LAUGHTER
11:41I don't know why that was a funny question.
11:43LAUGHTER
11:45So I, when I'm on tour, I take my own duvet and pillow.
11:49LAUGHTER
11:50Yeah, I...
11:51Cos I've got a bad neck, I have to take...
11:53Particularly now.
11:54I have to take my own pillow around with me.
11:56Yeah, yeah.
11:57And it's got its own plastic carry case with a handle.
12:00Yeah.
12:01He really is a tragic bastard.
12:02We've actually...
12:03We've actually got a picture of your pre-gig set-up.
12:05Have a look at this.
12:06LAUGHTER
12:07Oh, it's the mattress yours as well.
12:10That's an inflatable mattress.
12:11Yeah.
12:12You take that as well?
12:13Yeah, they don't provide that.
12:14I'm not made of money.
12:15Yeah.
12:16Gives you an idea of the level that Josh is touring at.
12:18Look at that room.
12:19He looks as if he's about to get up and do a video and go,
12:21Please tell my children I'm OK.
12:23LAUGHTER
12:24If you could just meet the demands, they will release me.
12:27Do you know what?
12:28It is quite showbiz.
12:29Cos I didn't inflate the mattress myself,
12:31I've got my tour manager to do it.
12:32Oh, wow.
12:33And when I take...
12:34Is that a kid's bed?
12:35No, it's a...
12:36LAUGHTER
12:42When I came in...
12:43Is that a bluey duvet?
12:44What?
12:45What is the pattern on that duvet?
12:46Is that a bluey duvet?
12:47No, it's not a bluey duvet.
12:48Looks like flowers.
12:49It does, it really does.
12:50What's the deal?
12:51What's the deal?
12:52I just bought a cheap duvet.
12:53Sorry, your issue is that I haven't got a cool enough duvet cover.
12:56I told you.
12:57I don't think if you're going to show off about having a bed in your dress.
12:59I'm not showing off, he brought up the picture.
13:01You clearly sent that around the group, going I'm looking like the girl I'm living right.
13:11I don't want group.
13:12I'm not in any group.
13:13The group is...
13:14There is a group, it's called Tragic Virgins.
13:17LAUGHTER
13:19I'm going to go for a double, but then I thought...
13:23What's the point?
13:24I'm Josh.
13:26It's quite presumptuous to get to a gig and then start playing it.
13:30get to a gig and then start pumping up a double bed. Just want to see what might
13:34happen before the gig. Tom, you had any food related jobs? Yeah, actually I was a
13:39kitchen porter for a little while. What? Yeah, I was a kitchen porter, like pot wash.
13:42What was that? Like washing up and shit. In like quite a high, the place called
13:47the Connort in London. Oh, that is amazing. And I'll tell you something that was great is at the end of the day
13:52you'd be the last person there so you used to be able to steal like some of the
13:55fish and the meat and sell it down the pub. And I got caught one day stealing and the head chef
14:02beat me with a lobster. He was French. He went, you disgust me, you thief! He started whipping me with a
14:10lobster. What did the Chinese person work in there for? OK, blue team, I need an answer from you. Who
14:24used to work in an ice cream van? Who's so tight that they won't let their dinner dates all the
14:28starters? And who celebrated a title win by eating 50 McNuggets in bed? I think Canelo worked in an
14:34ice cream van. Almost be definite he worked in an ice cream van. By the way, Molly's an absolute
14:38saint. Molly, Molly's letting you have a start. Yeah, I think she'd let you have a start and me and
14:42dessert. That's what I'm saying. OK, I can tell you that Canelo Alvarez used to work in an ice cream van.
14:49Molly McCann celebrated a title win by 15 McNuggets and Anthony Joshua won't let dinner dates all the time.
14:54Yeah!
14:55Yeah, blue team, blue team. Yes!
14:57Well done, blue team. You scored three points.
14:58Good job, Jamie.
15:11Paddy, talking of food, you broke a record at one of your favourite restaurants, didn't you?
15:15Yeah. Chicken wing challenge, wing Wednesday. Wing Wednesday. And how many did you get through?
15:1946, I think it was. Wow!
15:2146. That's 23 chickens that can't even wave at their mates anymore.
15:26Mate, you're also a big fan of a chicken wing, aren't you?
15:31What makes you say that? I know what you're getting at. It's not what you think, it's because you're black.
15:36LAUGHTER
15:43Well listen, Paddy and Micah's chicken wing live gave me an idea for a game. Both teams are up for this. Go and get ready. This is Wing of Fire.
15:51FIRE!
16:00I wanted to see who the true king of the wing is, Paddy or Micah. To settle it, we're doing a good old-fashioned eating contest.
16:06Whoever eats the most spicy chicken wings will bag their team a massive bonus point.
16:10Let's welcome back our competitors. From Leeds, it's the plucky underdog, Micah Richards.
16:15And from Liverpool, it's the reigning champion, Paddy the Baddy!
16:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:34All right, take a seat, guys. Get your bibs on. We've got some gloves for you as well.
16:37Because that would be a nightmare when you take a piss later if you don't put some gloves on.
16:40LAUGHTER
16:41No, lad, if you wear gloves, I'm going to give you some stick, you know.
16:45Oh, oh, oh, say something cool back. Say something cool back.
16:49I'm going to wear gloves.
16:51Come on, Tom, come on.
16:52I'm a human child.
16:53LAUGHTER
16:54It's a very girly thing to do.
16:56Whoa, whoa, whoa.
16:57Oi!
16:58Look at your head!
16:59LAUGHTER
17:01Tom will probably just hold your penis later anyway if you need a wig.
17:04LAUGHTER
17:05Well, you know what, as a cut man, I'm there for you.
17:07If you need me to hold your penis later, I'm there for you.
17:09I'm there for you.
17:10OK.
17:11You've each got plates of the spiciest wings our health and safety department would let us use.
17:15Can you please take the cloches off?
17:17Me?
17:18Yeah.
17:19OK, so there's your wings.
17:20Just to let you know, they are vegan.
17:22Oh!
17:23Oh!
17:24You can't swear me.
17:25That's the... leave me.
17:26No, no, no, no, no.
17:27Guys, please, please.
17:28It's not a...
17:29I'm not doing vegan wings.
17:30Yeah, but look, they're vegan wings.
17:31What?
17:32What are they made out of?
17:33You can't call it a chicken wing if it's not a chicken.
17:35It's a...
17:36It's a...
17:37Oh, chicken.
17:38Chicken.
17:39Oh, chicken.
17:40It's chicken.
17:41Chap, Chap, listen.
17:42Hold on, let me just...
17:43Let me take care of this.
17:44Chap.
17:45Listen, we're getting big, big money for this.
17:46You've got to eat them.
17:47It's on the line. You can't let him beat you. Okay. Do you want to do this?
17:49You're like a dick season on this show aren't you? No. Just a dick. Don't do this.
17:56Making us have vegan wings.
17:58But listen, they are very spicy. They are made of jackfruit. You're a fan of jackfruit, Paddy?
18:02Oh, what the fuck's jackfruit? I'm vegetarian and even I think that's lame.
18:05Shut up, John. Shut up. Don't applaud. Don't applaud. Don't applaud.
18:11And this is oat milk, isn't it? It is oat milk.
18:14Is this really oat milk? It's not oat milk. There is oat milk.
18:18So I tried it. I was like, what the fuck's wrong with that milk?
18:21And now it's all fallen into place. Ramesh has got too much power.
18:25Mix, how are you with spice, Mix? They're quite spicy, these wings.
18:29No, I'm good normally with spice. Okay. Don't like the spice boys, but yeah, I'm good.
18:33Oh, zing. Nice, fella.
18:37Okay, whoever eats the most wings gets the bonus point.
18:40Oh, what the hell?
18:43Oh, these are my new childhoods. Jesus.
18:45Do you know what? In my head, that was going to hit Ramesh and it's backfired.
18:50Normally, you only see scenes like that on Josh's Lilo in the dressing room.
18:58Okay, whoever eats the most wings gets the bonus point.
19:00We'll stop for a milk break. It is oat milk.
19:02It's round one. Off you go.
19:05Come on, Michael. Come on, Michael.
19:07Come on. Get right into it.
19:09Come on, champ. Come on, champ.
19:10Yes.
19:11Come on, champ. Come on, champ.
19:13That's one from Paddy.
19:15Come on. Go on, Paddy.
19:16Come on, champ.
19:17That's two from Mix.
19:18Come on, Mick.
19:19Come on, baby.
19:21Come on, Paddy.
19:22Come on, Paddy.
19:23Wow.
19:24That's right.
19:26They are to the...
19:28Go on, champ.
19:29Come on, champ.
19:30Come on, champ.
19:32Oh.
19:34Okay, that is...
19:36It's fucking disgusting.
19:41Oh, no.
19:42He spat it out.
19:44Oh, my God.
19:44He spat it out.
19:45I did not have a punch and eat any more of them.
19:48No, no, no.
19:50Stop talking.
19:51Oh, my God.
19:52That's how the fuck are you vegan, lad?
20:00He's gone.
20:02He's gone.
20:02He's going to tap out.
20:04He's going to tap.
20:04He's tapping.
20:06Oh, no, he's all right.
20:06He's good.
20:07He's good.
20:07I've got it.
20:08He's gone.
20:08Your man is gone.
20:09No, he's good.
20:10He's good.
20:10He's good.
20:11He's good.
20:11He's not that.
20:12He's fine.
20:12You're all right.
20:13You're all right.
20:13No, he's tapping out.
20:14Can I just let you behind the scenes a little bit?
20:16We talked about how spicy you wanted the wings to be,
20:19and Mick said, I'm Caribbean.
20:21Make it as hot as you like.
20:22And now, you look like you're about to shit a kidney.
20:26Oh, he's gone.
20:28He's tapping out.
20:29Look at how sweet he's got on his face.
20:31He's fine.
20:32He's fine.
20:33No, he's gone.
20:34He's out.
20:34He looks like he's melting.
20:37Oh, my God.
20:38That is fucking unreal.
20:42Mick, are you all right?
20:43Are they that hot?
20:44Jay, have a try on this.
20:45Do that.
20:46Do that.
20:47Oh, shit.
20:48What?
20:49What's wrong?
20:49They hurt.
20:52You're all right?
20:53I think I've shit meself.
20:54what the hell?
20:56There he is.
21:03Fuck.
21:04Fuck.
21:05Oh, my God, the heart.
21:07Give me that big, come out ring.
21:10Hey, listen, worry about your man. He's having a heart attack.
21:16Look how much he's sweating.
21:18He's all right. He's OK.
21:20I just can't believe I got wet around six guys.
21:23LAUGHTER
21:25Let's go again. I'm ready. I'm back.
21:29He's back. I'm back. What a comeback.
21:31CHEERING
21:33Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
21:37Oh, my God!
21:39Oh, my God!
21:41Let's do it.
21:42Blitzy, many advice for me.
21:44Just go for it. This is your Rocky moment.
21:47You're down a round, but you can take this back and you can win.
21:49I believe in you. He's all around.
21:51He's winning. He's winning.
21:52LAUGHTER
21:54What are you on around?
21:56OK, OK, carried away.
21:59Red team, any motivational words for Paddy?
22:01He's took a bit of a hit, but he's coming back.
22:04This round, this is your round chance.
22:05Silent pretend it's chicken, even though it's not unlikely.
22:07OK, it's time for round two. Good luck.
22:10Yes, Paddy. Come on, Paddy.
22:12Come on, Paddy. Come on, Paddy.
22:15Come on, Paddy.
22:16Come on, Paddy.
22:17Come on. Come on, my guy. Come on, my guy.
22:20Light work, baby. Light work.
22:25Ah!
22:27Come on, mate.
22:29Come on, mate.
22:31OK, I can declare that by unanimous decision with an unbelievable four wings,
22:40the winner is Michael Richards.
22:43Give me a hand over the belt, please.
22:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:52So at the end of that round, the blue team are in the lead.
22:58This question is for you, red team. Have a look at this.
23:15And that's Bernardo Silva, finished off beautifully by Bernardo Silva.
23:24It is a glorious goal.
23:26He's faced by Alexander-Arnold, and he's made the most of it.
23:36It's Fernandes!
23:38Bruno Fernandes ignites it!
23:41He is the main man for Manchester United.
23:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:46So there you saw Trent Alexander-Arnold,
23:48Dino Fernandes and Bernardo Silva.
23:50All three are tough competitors,
23:52but I want to know about their softer sides.
23:54Who bonded with a team-mate over a Harry Potter movie marathon?
23:58Who kept his Christmas tree up all year for good luck?
24:01And whose childhood nickname was Little Onion?
24:03I was actually nicknamed after food as well.
24:06At least I think that's why they were calling me a chocolate brownie curry face.
24:08LAUGHTER
24:18Paddy, do you have a softer side?
24:20Yeah, I have a much softer side.
24:22Yeah? What sort of stuff makes you sort of sad?
24:25What makes you emotional?
24:26I cry watching films and all, stuff like that, lad.
24:28Yeah?
24:29Like, watched The Lion King with the babies last week, lad,
24:31when Mufasa dies, lad, if you don't shed a tear,
24:34you're a cold-hearted man.
24:35LAUGHTER
24:36But I'm with you, baby.
24:38Cheers for spoiling it, mate.
24:39I was watching it next week.
24:40LAUGHTER
24:43I actually think you're a bit of a softie.
24:45I can see you've got a soft side.
24:46And, lad, sometimes I cry one adverts, come on, lad.
24:48If they're emotional ones.
24:50I cry, I cry adverts.
24:51There's a really, there's that really sad one
24:53with, like, the old man, and he's all dodgery,
24:54and then he goes,
24:55Air-cold memory foam.
24:57LAUGHTER
24:59LAUGHTER
25:01LAUGHTER
25:03APPLAUSE
25:05Josh, what was the last thing that made you cry?
25:10Last time I saw you got a new TV show,
25:11that hit me quite hard.
25:13LAUGHTER
25:14I'd get used to that, mate.
25:15LAUGHTER
25:17I have, mate. I fucking have.
25:19You're going to be sobbing quite a lot.
25:22LAUGHTER
25:24LAUGHTER
25:26So annoying when someone's getting more from the crowd
25:28doing your voice.
25:29LAUGHTER
25:30LAUGHTER
25:33Paddy, we've actually got a clip of you showing off your softer side.
25:36Hello, look, erm...
25:38It should...
25:38Me dog's just bad, like, a sloppy... outside.
25:40I was just wondering, like, some water.
25:42I don't want to leave it outside.
25:43That's Paddy's about you.
25:44LAUGHTER
25:45It is.
25:46I'm, like, five minutes away from home.
25:48Erm, don't worry, I'll clean it.
25:50You sure? I just... I feel... I feel terrible, know what I mean?
25:55LAUGHTER
25:56No, sure, I...
25:57It's just... I can't even pick it up in the poo bag, know what I mean?
26:01Don't worry, I'll clean it when I get in.
26:04So, thank you very much once again, I'm sorry about that.
26:08APPLAUSE
26:10Can I say, er, Paddy, a word of advice,
26:14always carry a straw, just in case I say it.
26:17LAUGHTER
26:19Paddy, that was actually really sweet of you.
26:23That is so sweet.
26:23That's really nice.
26:24I feel like welling up listening to that.
26:26LAUGHTER
26:27I just want to ask one quick question.
26:29Are you OK, Mix?
26:30I feel like that dog.
26:32LAUGHTER
26:35You look concussed.
26:36LAUGHTER
26:37I might have to go for a shit.
26:39LAUGHTER
26:41APPLAUSE
26:43Josh, how would you have reacted if Paddy had rung your doorbell
26:45in the middle of the night?
26:46Beating the shit out of him.
26:48LAUGHTER
26:49So cold?
26:50So cold, yeah.
26:51LAUGHTER
26:52Now, Paddy, you named Bruno Fernandes as the player you'd most like to fight.
26:56LAUGHTER
26:58LAUGHTER
26:59What is your problem with Bruno?
27:01First and foremost, he plays from Ununited.
27:03Right.
27:04And he just looks like a rat.
27:05LAUGHTER
27:06Looks like Ratatouille, you've seen the cartoon.
27:10Yeah.
27:11Well, let's see what he's got to say for himself.
27:14Please give it up for Bruno Fernandes!
27:16LAUGHTER
27:17That's what I was talking about.
27:19LAUGHTER
27:20Apparently, Paddy, Bruno's such a nice guy,
27:23he bought Christmas presents for all the club staff at Man United.
27:25Does that change your mind?
27:26No, yeah, it goes up in my estimation for that, like...
27:28Mm.
27:29But if Ununited got any staff left, then they all get sacked.
27:31LAUGHTER
27:33APPLAUSE
27:35Talking of Christmas, Josh, tell me, is this guy a fan of Santa?
27:41LAUGHTER
27:43Oh, Josh, I love you so much.
27:45This is you on the Christmas Strictly.
27:47That was me on the Christmas Strictly.
27:48I'm going to take a wild guess
27:50and say that you managed to avoid the Strictly curse.
27:53LAUGHTER
27:56APPLAUSE
28:00Uh, Paddy, do you think, could you see yourself ever doing Strictly in the future?
28:09No.
28:10Wouldn't.
28:11No, I'd do it, but I wouldn't be allowed, my wife would stab me.
28:15LAUGHTER
28:16Why?
28:17She's already told me,
28:18there's no way you are ever doing Strictly.
28:20Josh, is there a feeling, like, of, like, flirting and sort of...
28:23Was your missus all right with it? Like, genuinely?
28:25What, when I was doing the Charleston dress like that?
28:26What, have you got a missus?
28:28LAUGHTER
28:29LAUGHTER
28:31LAUGHTER
28:32APPLAUSE
28:33Why have you got a single inflatable bed, Denny,
28:38is both that small?
28:39LAUGHTER
28:41Uh, now, Paddy, it's fair to say you're not a fan of any of these players,
28:44are you?
28:45No.
28:46What about Trent, Paddy?
28:47Oh, no.
28:48You don't like him, I mean, surely...
28:49Please, please, don't...
28:50Don't start...
28:51What are you going to say?
28:52You're going to say you're going to wind up here, aren't you?
28:54No, I'm not, I'm not.
28:55I just, you know...
28:56You can't blame him for wanting to move to a bigger club.
28:59That's...
29:00That's all I'm saying.
29:01I thought you were going to say something worse than that.
29:02Sorry, nah.
29:03Um, no, everyone knows how I feel about Trent, lad,
29:05you know what I mean?
29:06He betrayed his boyhood club, who'd done everything for him,
29:09made his life what it is today, and he's went to Real Madrid
29:11thinking he's going to be the next David Beckham,
29:13and now he's warming the bench up for kind of a hell.
29:15It's poetic justice at its finest.
29:21Er, Jamie, we're talking about people that Paddy hates.
29:24Yeah.
29:25But you're such a lovable, nice guy, I can't imagine you hating anyone.
29:27I'm a nice guy, yeah, I don't hate many people.
29:28Is there anybody on your own?
29:29I don't hate anyone.
29:30You know?
29:31No, genuinely, no, I'm good.
29:32I, I, erm...
29:33Look, don't know, people might get on my nerves,
29:34but Paddy's opinions, like, are not expressed by everybody on Sky Sports.
29:38Stop being so nice, Jamie, just be honest if you don't your life.
29:42I'm, honestly, Paddy, right?
29:44I'm good, I'm good with everyone.
29:45You're lying, you're lying!
29:46Stop doing it!
29:47You're lying!
29:48What are you doing?
29:49David Beckham!
29:50What?
29:51You had the rivalry, when you were younger, you know, Liverpool won the United.
29:56Yeah, but that was a long time ago.
29:58Yeah, who was better looking?
30:00Who had the better misses?
30:02Wow!
30:04Who was the better footballer?
30:06Who won stuff?
30:07And the other knighthood?
30:08Yeah.
30:09Yeah, so was Jimmy Savile.
30:10Whoa!
30:11Whoa!
30:12Whoa!
30:13Whoa!
30:14Whoa!
30:15Whoa!
30:16Whoa!
30:17Whoa!
30:18Whoa!
30:19Whoa!
30:20Whoa!
30:21Wow!
30:22Listen, mate, I'm not begging for...
30:23I wouldn't want a knighthood if you gave it to me.
30:25Oh, come on, mate, you'd be sniffing around if you could get one.
30:26What do you want a knighthood?
30:27What are your accolades?
30:28Come on, what have you got?
30:29I've got the double.
30:30What's a double?
30:31Haircut of the year.
30:32And rear of the year.
30:34Seriously!
30:35That's a double.
30:36Have some of that.
30:37Smash hits, haircut of the year, by the way.
30:38Yeah.
30:39For the people that know.
30:40What year was that?
30:411997, peak year.
30:42That would have been 1975, 1976.
30:43Listen, you love haircut of the year, you prick.
30:44OK, red team, we need an answer, please.
30:45Who bonded with a teammate over Harry Potter?
30:46Who kept his Christmas tree up all year for luck?
30:47And whose childhood nickname was Little Onion?
30:49Little Onion is going to be Bernard or Silver.
30:50Yeah, it's got to be Bernard or Silver.
30:51I have no idea, guys.
30:52I'm going with you.
30:53OK.
30:54They're both younger, so I'm guessing that they would be the Harry Potter one.
30:56Because he's younger than the other two, isn't he?
30:57Yeah.
30:58Yeah.
30:59Well, I can't tell you that Trent Alexander-Arnold bonded with Aaron Ramsdell over Harry Potter
31:05movie marathons.
31:06Bruno Fernandes' nickname is Little Onion.
31:07Yeah, it's got to be Bernard or Silver.
31:08I have no idea, guys.
31:09I'm going with you.
31:10OK.
31:11They're both younger, so I'm guessing that they would be the Harry Potter one since.
31:16Because he's younger than the other two, isn't he?
31:17Yeah.
31:18Well, I can't tell you that Trent Alexander-Arnold bonded with Aaron Ramsdell over Harry Potter
31:22movie marathons.
31:23Bruno Fernandes' nickname is Little Onion.
31:25And Bernard or Silver kept his Christmas tree up all year round for luck.
31:28Well done, red team.
31:29You've scored one point.
31:30APPLAUSE
31:37Now, Paddy, you're obviously one of the hardest people in the country, but based on looks
31:41alone, which team do you think is the hardest?
31:44I'm not going to lie.
31:45I think Meeks and Simon smashed the pair of your heads in.
31:48What about you?
31:50I think Jill would take Josh all day.
31:52I'm probably going there.
31:53By the way, her leg's been doing this since...
31:56I'm just getting ready.
31:57Yeah.
31:58OK.
31:59It's a weird decision, Tom, to demonstrate what Jill's leg's been doing under the table
32:03by demonstrating that also under the table.
32:05LAUGHTER
32:06LAUGHTER
32:07LAUGHTER
32:08LAUGHTER
32:09LAUGHTER
32:11You're right, Logan.
32:12OK.
32:13Well, we are going to find out who's the toughest team in this next game,
32:17because this is You've Got The Power.
32:19We're about to find out which team is the hardest players from each team will take it in turns
32:30to unleash hell on our human punch bag, which is me.
32:33Unfortunately, I'm the only person not on a team, so I can be impartial,
32:36but I've been assured that I'm thoroughly padded so it won't hurt.
32:39Could you please raise me up?
32:41LAUGHTER
32:42LAUGHTER
32:43LAUGHTER
32:44OK, I'm up now.
32:45All right, Paddy?
32:46Would you like to do a quick test but take it easy?
32:47Go ahead, Paddy, lads.
32:48Is that all he's been lifted?
32:49Just a little sizzler.
32:50Oh, fuck.
32:51That doesn't hurt, that.
32:52They've seen how much padding you've got?
32:53Yeah, I'll show you.
32:54I'll kick it.
32:55No, no, no!
32:56You just smashed my own hands into my testicles.
33:10OK, we're going to have three match-ups.
33:13Players from each team will take it in turns to punch me.
33:15Is this real?
33:16Whoever hits me the hardest will get a point for their team.
33:19OK, let's play.
33:20First up, it's Josh and Jill.
33:21You can take the padding off for this one.
33:23LAUGHTER
33:26Wow!
33:27So, Josh, you're going to go on the first bell,
33:30and then, Jill, you'll go on the second bell,
33:32at which point, Josh, you stop.
33:34So it's one at a time for five seconds.
33:35How long have I got? Oh, five seconds, I can do that.
33:37Josh, you've got about for as long as you last on the lilo, usually.
33:40LAUGHTER
33:42One bell, two bell, bell end.
33:46LAUGHTER
33:47I've got it!
33:48OK.
33:49Good luck.
33:51You start on the first bell.
33:52Off we go.
34:01Oh, my God!
34:02Oh, my God!
34:04I've lost now.
34:05Oh, shit!
34:06You nearly hit my face!
34:07You nearly hit my face!
34:08Joe, fuck off!
34:09The bells!
34:10Fuck off, Jill!
34:11You nearly hit it!
34:12You nearly hit my face!
34:13You nearly hit my face!
34:14You nearly hit me!
34:15You nearly hit me!
34:20You nearly smashed me in the face!
34:21You nearly smashed me in the face!
34:22I thought you were one higher.
34:24Where? How?
34:25What? Where?
34:28I'm going to be honest with you.
34:29Jill was so much stronger than Josh,
34:32but...
34:33What?
34:34What?
34:35but...
34:36because Jill tried to punch me in the face,
34:37I'm going to award the point to Josh.
34:38YESSS!
34:39Yes!
34:40Yes!
34:41Yes!
34:42Yes!
34:43Yes!
34:44Yes!
34:45Next stop, it's Jamie versus Meeks.
34:46Coming!
34:47Oh!
34:48Jamie!
34:49Woo!
34:50Jamie!
34:51Woo!
34:52Woo!
34:53And Micah tensers up and throws on.
34:56He's gonna follow through.
34:57Okay, let's do it.
35:00Jamie, go on the first whistle Meeks on the second.
35:02Good luck to you.
35:03Come on, Micah.
35:04Come on, Micah!
35:05Come on, Micah!
35:06Yeah!
35:07Okay.
35:08It hurts so much.
35:09Does it really?
35:10I feel bad now.
35:12That was, uh, that was pretty clear cut.
35:26The point goes to the blue team.
35:28Well done, Micah.
35:29OK, so fortunately the hard bit so we just got Paddy and Tom to go
35:41How do you think about those boys made me to smash my own dick and testicles
35:57Listen, I swear you win the show, and the red team win
36:02They win the whole show
36:04In fact, the red team win the series
36:08They win the whole series
36:10Give it up for Paddy, all the 100 points to Paddy
36:14Oh God, OK, raise me up please
36:17So I'm first
36:18Yeah, you're first
36:20Good luck on the bell
36:22Jesus fucking, are you mental?
36:32Are you fucking mental?
36:34Mate, we're not outside a hotel
36:36I'm calling it
36:38Jesus Christ
36:40Why can't we get out of the money?
36:42Come from painting a fucking roundabout
36:44To kick the shit out of an ethnic minority?
36:48What?
36:49Jesus Christ
36:51We're going to prep that up
36:52And I'm going to put the caption ADL in action
36:56Let me tell you something
36:57If there was another series I'd quit
36:59Get James Corden back you pieces of shit
37:02I just think I haven't had my go, yeah
37:10OK, Paddy, you're going to be ready
37:12Five seconds, OK, off we go
37:14Go on, Paddy
37:15Oh, oh, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck
37:20Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God
37:24Oh, God
37:25Wow
37:27Nice technique
37:29Do you want me to do this bit for you, Mum?
37:31I actually don't really want to win this now, if I'm on this video
37:33Believe me, you haven't
37:37The points go to Paddy and the red team, well done
37:51OK, so at the end of that round, the blue team are in the lead
37:55It's time for our final round, let's see what they're up against tonight
38:13It's human crazy golf, our teams will take it in turns to negotiate their way around our golf course
38:18For each section they complete, they'll unlock a question for their team
38:21There's points for every correct answer and three bonus points for the team who completes the course in the fastest time
38:27OK, let's bring out our teams
38:29Let's bring out our teams
38:31Go on, Paddy
38:32Come on
38:41Yes, let's go
38:42Yes, let's go
38:43Go
38:44Yes
38:45Go
38:46Yes, go
38:47Yes
38:48Yes
38:49Yes
38:52OK
38:53Tom, you're in position
38:55How do you fancy your chances against Tom in this?
38:57Oh, I'm going to smoke him in this, lad
38:59OK
39:00Paddy, Paddy
39:01Lad, the red team is not losing, lad
39:03Tom, can I ask you a question?
39:04Yeah
39:05What's your approach getting down there, mate? What are you thinking?
39:07Survive, hope to see my daughter again
39:09Right
39:11Okay, Tom, and the blue team, your time starts on the sound of the whistle
39:14Ready, go
39:16One, two, three
39:18Come on, come on
39:19Come on
39:20Come on
39:21Come on
39:22Come on
39:23Come on
39:25Come on
39:26Come on
39:27Come on
39:28Come on
39:29Come on
39:30Come on
39:31Come on
39:32Come on
39:33Come on
39:34Come on
39:35Come on
39:36Come on
39:37Yes! Yes!
39:40Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom!
39:42Tom!
39:44OK, Blue Team, this is your first question.
39:47This is worth one point.
39:48How many size does an official UFC octagon have?
39:51Eight.
39:52It's correct. On you go.
39:54One, two, three.
39:58One, two, three.
40:00Knock them down.
40:02Go!
40:05Yes!
40:06Hear the buzz, hear the buzz.
40:08OK, question two.
40:11This one's worth two points.
40:12Which EFL team are nicknamed the Pilgrims?
40:15Fuck.
40:16Plymouth?
40:17Dunno.
40:18Dunno.
40:19It's correct. On you go.
40:21Smash, smash, smash.
40:23Go, jump.
40:24Go, go, go.
40:25Two, three, jump.
40:27One, two, three, jump.
40:28Ach!
40:29What?
40:30We've got to get under, here.
40:32Under?
40:33Under?
40:34Squat up!
40:36Squat in!
40:41Brother, get my hand off!
40:42Go on, John.
40:43What?
40:44Get my hand off, Jackan!
40:49Oh, my God.
40:50OK.
40:51This one is worth three points.
40:52Which division does Paddy the baddie fight in?
40:55Aw, I haven't got a clue.
40:56Clue and middle-width ha ha
41:22Well done some of the blue team you score three points
41:26Well done Matt
41:28Tom how was that?
41:30Well I think back to the films
41:32The TV shows, the acclaim, the good reviews
41:34I'll always remember this as the lowest
41:38Oh my god
41:42Holy shit that was Connor
41:46Paddy how you feeling about this?
41:48I'm sweet bud
41:50Paddy good luck to you, your time starts on the sound of the whistle
41:54Ready
41:56Go
42:02Yes lad
42:04Yes lad
42:06Get through there lad
42:12Question
42:14The question's worth one point
42:16Which defender holds the Premier League record for the most assists by a right back?
42:18Trent Alexander-Arnold
42:20Oh fuck off
42:22On you go
42:24Go Paddy
42:28Go Paddy
42:32Go Paddy
42:34Push Push Push Push Push Push
42:35Ok question 2
42:36This one's worth 2 points
42:37Which club did Manchester City sign Bernardo Silva from?
42:40Oh fuck
42:42Oh no no, it's Monaco
42:44Yeah it was
42:45Monaco
42:46It is Monaco
42:47It is Monaco
42:48Yes God
42:49Come on
42:50Yes
42:51Good luck, lad!
42:57Wait, wait, wait. Come on, Paddy.
43:02Get me off, man.
43:04Clash the button.
43:06OK, this one's worth three points.
43:08Which US state hosted UFC won?
43:12Come on, Paddy.
43:15Any time you're in, you guys.
43:18Fuck off.
43:21Oh, Nevada!
43:22No, it's Colorado, why don't you go?
43:24Whoa, fucking hell!
43:27Push me, get me off!
43:29Get me off!
43:32What's that, Vince?
43:34Go on, Paddy!
43:40We've definitely done that, Pastel.
43:42I want the three points.
43:43OK, Paddy, I'm really sorry.
43:44You're supposed to stay in the hole, so we can't count that.
43:46Fuck off.
43:47I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking.
43:49Well done, Red Team.
43:50You scored three points!
43:55Give it up for Paddy, the Baddy and the Red Team!
43:59I can reveal the team who completed the golf course in the quickest time
44:02was the Red Team!
44:04Yay!
44:05So that means that tonight's winners are the Red Team!
44:11Yay!
44:12Paddy!
44:13So thanks to Jamie, Josh and Paddy, Jill, Michael and Tom, you've been watching
44:18The League of Their Own.
44:19Goodnight!
44:20Thank you so much!
44:21Thank you so much!
44:50I'm not sure you saw the secret.
44:51No, it's a big deal!
44:52It's a little bit of a video!
44:53No, I'm not a cat.
44:54I'm not a cat.
44:55I'm not a cat.
44:56Huh!
44:57Having a cat.
44:59Looking a cat.
45:00This is a cat.
45:01This is a cat.
45:02This is a cat.
45:03I'm not a cat.
45:04I'm cả.
45:05My cat.
45:07And he's not a cat.
45:08If you're in a cat.
45:09I'm not a cat.
45:10I can't look at it.
45:11I'm a cat.
45:12And I'm not a cat.
45:13My cat.
45:14So you're in a cat.
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