- 3 hours ago
Emmerdale - Season 54 Episode 220 - Monday 24th November 2025
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Short filmTranscript
00:00This
00:29This is you, full bed and board, as promised.
00:34Oh, don't worry about that, I'll get you a fresh one.
00:39You all right there, Ted?
00:41You take as long as you need.
00:43A couple of hours at least.
00:46Where is she?
00:49Anne?
00:50Anya.
00:51Anya, sorry.
00:52She's gone to the mortuary, hasn't she?
00:54While we sort out the formalities.
00:57The funeral?
00:58Yeah, yeah.
01:00You're gonna do it properly and treat her with respect?
01:05Of course.
01:06Don't you worry about that, Ted. Leave it with me.
01:09And, erm, I'll see if I can contact the family.
01:13See if they want to send, er, flowers or...
01:16And, er, a wreath from me.
01:20You can take out my wages.
01:23Of course, mate.
01:27You finished the jam again?
01:29I just really like jam, innit?
01:30Yeah, I realise.
01:31So don't put the empty jam jar in the cupboard.
01:34Remember there's a system, yeah?
01:36Yeah.
01:37I'll write it on the pan.
01:38Behind the fridge.
01:39Exactly.
01:47It's half coming.
01:49Got your coffee.
01:50And, er, this.
01:52Heart healthy.
01:53What's up?
01:55So, I know I gave you a hard time about the whole money thing.
02:00But now that you're flush again, you're gonna treat yourself right?
02:04What?
02:05Keep enough money back for you.
02:07You might need specialist care.
02:09I just, I want you to have the best of the best.
02:13Which is why you should probably tell me your secret location.
02:16You know, cover all bases.
02:18I don't care about the money.
02:20Okay.
02:22Sorry, I'm just...
02:24mega stressed.
02:26About the robbery?
02:27No.
02:28No.
02:29Sorry.
02:30Okay.
02:31Yeah, it's just...
02:32My head.
02:34Going west.
02:37Having thoughts.
02:38Thoughts?
02:39I'm sorry.
02:40I can't do this now.
02:41I've got to split.
02:42Yeah, well, okay.
02:43Go back to yours.
02:44No, I'm gonna go into town.
02:45Play the slots.
02:46Oh, cool.
02:49I just...
02:51I hate being lied to.
02:53Sorry?
02:54Beat me at pool.
02:55Slag off United.
02:56Punch me in the face as hard as you can.
02:58Just...
03:00Don't lie to me.
03:01Hey.
03:02Slow morning on the combines?
03:03I don't actually drive them myself.
03:04I like to imagine it though.
03:05It amuses me.
03:06I was in the middle of a very boring meeting and I thought I need some Laurel in my life.
03:08Oh, is that Laurel who makes excellent coffee or is that Laurel who has a daughter crawling with knits?
03:13Oh, by the way, she's fine this morning, infestation free.
03:16You know who to call her, right?
03:17Yeah, I know who to call her.
03:18Anyway, that rather excellent coffee?
03:19Yeah.
03:20And I have a squashed brownie that I won't be able to sell for my treat.
03:21Oh, you swore on me.
03:22Hi.
03:23Why aren't you swooning me?
03:24I'm under my suit.
03:25Hi.
03:26Come on, my sweet.
03:27No.
03:28Come here.
03:29Come on, come on.
03:30Come on.
03:31Stick the kettle on.
03:32Just having a bit of a clear out.
03:33Is it Laurel who makes excellent coffee or is that Laurel who has a daughter crawling with
03:38knits?
03:39Oh, by the way, she's fine this morning, infestation free.
03:40Well, you know who to call her, right?
03:43Yeah, I know who to call her.
03:45Yeah, I know who to call her.
03:47Mm.
03:48Anyway, that rather excellent coffee?
03:49Yeah.
03:50a bit of a clear out. Ah, charity shop, bin or keep. Are you planning a Cayley or a Braveheart
04:00tribute? Charity shop it is then. I, er, I had a visitor, Kim Tate. Oh, really? Mm-hmm.
04:11She rocked up unannounced to do a property inspection, the cheek of the woman. I sent
04:18her on her way. Oh, I'd have loved to have seen that. Ah, latest contract. It'll take more
04:24than Kim Tate to see us off. We make a great team.
04:39Where were you this morning? Leaving. It's Dad.
04:45I'll be there next shift.
04:48Well, tell him.
04:51Eh?
04:53Your little girlfriend. She's in there.
04:57She's in the feast, yes. Postman just dumped her.
05:01He said she was in mortuary.
05:05There were gonna be a funeral, eh? He promised.
05:18It'll just be the washer, Sam. There's nothing to do with a tap. We've got it. Bleak in you, Ben. Ah!
05:32Right. Why don't we be really radical and call a plumber?
05:35I'd pay him with what? Some sleet and some massed yeast? We're broke.
05:42It'll be the washer again.
05:44It's not the flaming washer.
05:46Get yourself out of there. Let me clear you some space.
05:48Oh, give over. I'm doing it.
05:50There's mouse killer and all sorts in there.
05:52Well, I'm not a mouse, so I guess I'll be all right.
05:53Let me. Come on.
05:54Come on.
05:55Right, budge over.
05:56Breathe in.
05:57What was that?
06:01Nothing.
06:04Oh dear.
06:05We're gonna find out anyway.
06:18I'm telling you, he's definitely on to us. He was proper intense.
06:20Did he actually accuse you?
06:22No, not as such.
06:23He's just being paranoid. The guy's got a sword.
06:25If he suspected anything, you'd know about it.
06:27So what did he mean then?
06:28I don't know. He's unhinged.
06:31I'm supposed to be on lookout.
06:38I remember the computer on my...
06:51It was close.
06:54Well, Kev's room's clear.
06:56And all these are full of Bibles and old lady gobbins.
07:00Then we need to widen the radius and start thinking clever.
07:03Or you just let me drag it out of him.
07:06It was a joke.
07:07But if we do actually want to be together...
07:10We need to find that bag.
07:12Stick to the plan.
07:13Hey Ted!
07:14I'm not giving you enough work to do. What's that then?
07:23Annios. It's Annios. I took it from her body.
07:25Ah, Ted. Listen.
07:26Now you said you promised.
07:28Let me explain.
07:29I found her in the shed, thrown against the wall.
07:32Now, you said that you were going to sort it, that she was going to have a proper funeral.
07:35Yes, I did. And...
07:37Yeah, but you just treated her like rubbish. You lied to me.
07:41Easy, fella. Don't take that tone.
07:43I know she meant note to you, but she was just a young girl.
07:47And this was her daughters and all she wanted was to get home to her.
07:50But you, you, you treated her like an animal.
07:53That is enough.
07:54You were a worse of an animal.
07:56You wouldn't do to a dog what you did to her!
07:59It's not stolen.
08:01In case you were thinking.
08:02I wasn't.
08:04I've been collecting.
08:06Saving.
08:07Spare bits of change.
08:08Emptying pockets before the wash.
08:10It's amazing if you keep it long enough.
08:11It all mounts up.
08:13Saving for what?
08:14I mean, if it's something we need.
08:15Yeah, we could have all chipped in.
08:16I was worried you'd think it'd be a waste of money.
08:18What was?
08:20Well, come on.
08:21A cruise to the Caribbean.
08:23A robot hoover.
08:25Just tell us.
08:26There's this special concert in Leeds.
08:29Jason Donovan's playing.
08:30Aww.
08:31Teenage heartthrob.
08:33I wanted to get us VIP tickets as a surprise.
08:36Meet and greet, goodie bag, complimentary champagne.
08:39Well, you still can.
08:40I can't.
08:41Tickets went on sale this morning.
08:43I didn't manage to scrape enough together in time.
08:47It wasn't my fault she died.
08:49All I did was try and help her.
08:51Boss.
08:52What are you doing?
08:53I'm telling you the truth, Ted.
08:55I'm telling you the truth.
08:56We're friends, right?
08:57And this is how you show your gratitude.
09:00Please.
09:06I'm sorry.
09:08I'm sorry.
09:09It's just I'm the other.
09:12The whole thing.
09:13The whole thing.
09:17Get out!
09:18Out!
09:22You are not yourself, Ted.
09:25You are not yourself.
09:27And I get it.
09:28Because you feel partly responsible.
09:30Yes.
09:32Maybe there was something else you could have done.
09:35I asked you for medicine.
09:37Well, it was already too late by then.
09:39I am so sorry that you had to go through that, Ted.
09:43But I laid her out.
09:44I laid her out all nicely while I made the arrangements.
09:47You are not thrown against the wall.
09:50No.
09:51No.
09:52Someone else must have moved her.
09:54Because obviously I'm going to bury her properly.
09:57You are?
09:59Yes.
10:00But these things don't happen overnight.
10:01They take time.
10:03Well, where will it be, the funeral?
10:06I mean, she didn't know anyone except us.
10:09So it should be local.
10:11Yes.
10:12Good point.
10:13So I could come.
10:15I don't know.
10:17You might be working.
10:19I'm having the time off.
10:21I've never asked you for anything before.
10:23No matter what it takes.
10:26I'm coming.
10:39No!
10:44Oh!
10:46Ray, do you actually do any work?
10:48Well, I'm on a field visit.
10:50Oh.
10:51You seem to have a lot of farm machinery business, this neck of the woods.
10:55Well, there's this lovely woman who keeps foisting cakes on me.
10:59What's a bloke to do?
11:01I'm just going to go and speak to my mum.
11:03Sorry.
11:04Oh!
11:05Hi!
11:07Problem.
11:09I'm having a pattern.
11:10If you weren't so distracted by the local...
11:12Nothing to do with Laurel.
11:14The old man found the dead girl.
11:16What?
11:17Yeah, I had to stick her in the feed shed.
11:19Well, that was stupid, even for you.
11:21Well, she needed moving.
11:22He proper lost it when she died.
11:23He was crying like a baby.
11:25You let him make a scene?
11:27Well, I didn't want to punish him.
11:28We're one step away from rebellion.
11:30Anyway, I talked my way out of it.
11:31Said we were keeping her in there till the, er...
11:34Well, the funeral.
11:37Funeral.
11:38Yes.
11:39And now he thinks he's coming.
11:41I'll feed him some excuse, but, er...
11:45He's dead set.
11:46Actually, you don't need to feed him anything.
11:49Me?
11:50If he wants a funeral, he can have a funeral.
11:52I should have thought of this before.
11:54Hopefully, I am not too late.
11:57Meet me later.
11:58Bring the old man and the body.
12:00I will drop you a pin.
12:06Oi!
12:07Service.
12:08Don't oi me.
12:09But, er, seeing as we're quiet...
12:13What can I get for you, Kevin?
12:15Well, I'm assuming that's your full name.
12:17Like, Saint Kevin, who lived as a Herbert.
12:19There's a saint called Kevin.
12:21Heavy.
12:22I think there's a saint for pretty much everyone.
12:24My namesake was hung, drawn and quartered for high treason.
12:27Stole me.
12:28Anyway, erm, what about a hot drink of your choice and a muffin for a special price of
12:33£5?
12:34I'll have a, erm, chamomile tea, please.
12:39You know, you don't have milk or sugar with that.
12:41Oh.
12:42Right, I can, er, try something new if I want, can't I?
12:45And you keep banging on about how nice it is, so...
12:47I'm glad you listened to my recommendations.
12:49You can go now.
12:51But...
12:52I'll close up.
12:53It's the rules when someone's been off sick.
12:55Read the staff handbook.
12:57Read the staff handbook?
12:58Go on then, chop chop.
12:59Go and get my coat.
13:01It's probably fine.
13:02I just thought you might need saving.
13:04It's very thoughtful of you.
13:05It's my middle name.
13:06Yeah.
13:07It's nothing to do with the fact that you know he's my son then, no?
13:12Moira, it's me again.
13:14Yeah.
13:15Just, er, wondering if you'd sign the contract.
13:17Oh, er, just give me a wee minute.
13:20Er, sorry.
13:21I should have left it till after tea time.
13:23Most stressful part of the day, apparently.
13:25Well, depends if you've got a bottle open.
13:27Oh, don't tempt me.
13:30I, er, I have to go into town.
13:35The dentists.
13:36I can take that not for you if you fancy it.
13:38Oh, no, don't worry about it.
13:39It's no bother.
13:40I pass at least a dozen charity shops on my way in.
13:43Do you have any preference?
13:45Huh?
13:46Dogs, donkeys, starving orphans.
13:49No, you pick.
13:50I trust you.
13:51Oh, of course.
13:52Thanks.
13:53Bye.
13:58That's why you were hanging around like a bass male while I was talking to Lewis about Emma, innit?
14:02You don't want a kid, Kev.
14:04Yeah, I do.
14:05Why?
14:06I take him fishing.
14:07He hates fishing.
14:09Probably.
14:10If it's killing innocent creatures.
14:11She'll come back, don't you?
14:13He's got a perfectly good dad already.
14:14The one who adopted him.
14:15Yeah, well, I hate his blood.
14:16You're also a dying man.
14:18I'm sorry to be blunt, but what is the point in a big family reunion if your heart could seize
14:23up any minute?
14:24It's selfish, if you ask me.
14:25Selfish and irresponsible and cruel.
14:27You can't talk to me like that.
14:29I just did.
14:30What are you going to do about it?
14:32Oh, act like a nutter, like you do with everyone else.
14:35Give it your best shot.
14:36You won't scare me.
14:59I thought I were coming to the funeral.
15:04This is it.
15:05The DIY version.
15:07Here?
15:08Your friend Anya didn't have any papers, remember?
15:11She's not entitled to a registered grave.
15:14But you...
15:15I thought we could swing it, Ted.
15:16But it turns out you can have a dead body and nobody cares.
15:22So we are going to do our very best for her.
15:26Give her the send off she deserves.
15:28Would you...
15:30Would you like to pick a spot?
15:34Go.
15:43Here.
15:57This looks good.
16:00£227 and...
16:03And 34p.
16:04Just like Lydia said.
16:06So how much is she short by then?
16:11£10.66.
16:14And then she would have had enough for tickets?
16:16Yeah, but it's pointless, Sam, because they're sold out, aren't they?
16:18Let me just check, actually.
16:20£10.66.
16:21It's like two pints and a bag of scratchings.
16:25No way.
16:26They're releasing a load more VIP tickets tomorrow.
16:29We've got time.
16:30Oh, yes!
16:31Right.
16:32Yeah, what have I got?
16:33£150.
16:34In me lucky bottle top.
16:36She's not having that.
16:37Bet she's not checked soap, eh?
16:39What?
16:40School girl, eh?
16:41I knew it.
16:42I've got £10!
16:442.27.34.
16:45Was I right?
16:46Bang on.
16:47Oh, well.
16:48It's always next time.
16:49Yeah, well, we'll probably need it for bills before long, anyway.
17:02I wish things had gone better and worked out the way you'd hoped.
17:15How glad are you?
17:18You were kind.
17:21You looked out for me.
17:24I looked out for you.
17:27Not so well as it turned out.
17:31I'm so sorry.
17:35I wish it'd be me that I'd been taken.
18:13Why don't I-
18:15Lookin' lose the blues in their heart
18:17As when I think of you
18:21Another shower starts
18:23In two each live
18:28So rain
18:28A swamp
18:31But too much
18:32is folded
18:36Bed meant
18:37I was lovely, Ted
18:41My pal. My bright shining girl. Sleep tight, my love.
19:06We're closing. I've nearly finished mopping and you're still lingering.
19:10OK. What don't you understand?
19:16Lewis might be your biological son, but that doesn't give you a right to play daddy.
19:20Yeah, but I am his dad. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me.
19:23It's a shame you didn't have this burning sense of responsibility 23 years ago. Where were you then?
19:27You know where I was? Prison.
19:29Exactly. Leaving Emma no choice than to have him adopted.
19:32She was the one that grasped me to the old bill. She's the one that got me sent down.
19:35No, Kev. You got yourself sent down by being a raging criminal.
19:39I wouldn't be surprised if it was you that robbed that pawn shop.
19:43Oh, my God. And you're wondering why I don't want the lad having anything to do with you.
19:48It was a one-off. I needed a cash injection.
19:51You are immoral and deluded.
19:53I bet you're only interested in Lewis so that you can train him up as an accompli.
19:56Oh. Hiya. Kev.
19:59What? Are you talking about me? No.
20:03No.
20:04Okay.
20:05Kev was asking about cleaning work.
20:07But I thought you had a dicky ticker.
20:08Well, that's just what I said. What are you doing back anyway?
20:10Oh, at the staff handbook. I looked through the driver. I couldn't find it.
20:13Don't you think it's co-owner I should've...
20:14Oh, Kev. You're looking a bit pale. Are you alright?
20:17Yeah. Go and get him a chamomile tea. Go on, quick.
20:25How much do you care? That's the question.
20:27Because if you've really got his best interests at heart, you'd leave him in peace.
20:32That's what being a proper dad means.
20:36Well, you made an old man very happy.
20:48He'd be happier if she was alive.
20:55What was with the blanket?
20:58Did you have a sudden tender moment? I'm touched.
21:03It wasn't sentiment.
21:08We just buried a body. Cheers.
21:13Cheers.
21:16The blanket. It was Moira's.
21:21She has a body wrapped in her DNA in a shallow grave on her own farmland.
21:26And there was me thinking you actually had a heart.
21:35She's my neighbour, my business partner, and now, thanks to a ratty old blanket,
21:40she's our insurance against ever getting caught.
21:43And there was a character in her grave of ease.
21:45And there was a kilogram bush in her grave of the support,
21:46who had beenclocking in her grave and deaf in her grave.
21:48She'd fall down via her.
21:50Are you very happy to write this advice on them?
21:51So you meant to do that.
21:52So.
21:54Well, I wonder if not.
21:56You were very interesting.
21:58And this place's aって.
22:00murder.
22:01And this place is still very important.
22:02A article in the late� tumult.
22:04And a book SV10-4033 and a book.
22:08The memory is 어-op.
22:10And this is a book.
22:11Transcription by CastingWords
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