- 7 hours ago
London's restaurant scene likes to believe it has seen everything – the soufflés, the scandals, the soft launches – but it hasn't yet had the misfortune of hearing the two of us together, in a room, with microphones. That changes this week with the launch of The Standard's Big Misteak, our new podcast, where we finally stop bothering colleagues with endless food chat and start bothering you instead.The idea is simple: two critics, one capital, far too many opinions. Each week we sit down after bounding around London's dining rooms to compare notes, argue, and occasionally agree. The first episode more or less sets the tone.If this is week one, God help week two. But if you enjoy restaurant gossip, needless bickering and an irresponsible number of meals out, The Standard's Big Misteak might be your new weekend ritual. Probably not, but give us a chance?
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00:00Are you alright?
00:00No, I'm not alright because people are queuing for this and great restaurants shut down daily.
00:05It's so animated.
00:05It's just so gaudy and tacky and trashy and way too expensive.
00:10Veganism. Bullshit. Get rid of it.
00:12So the new tagline is too popular for pecking?
00:14Why don't you email in and see what they think?
00:16Okay.
00:20Hi and welcome to The Standard's Big Mistake in which...
00:23Josh Barry.
00:24And...
00:24Say with Alice.
00:24...talk about everything that's going on in food and drink this week.
00:27So Josh, what has gone on? What have you been up to?
00:29Busy week.
00:30I went to a launch party for the new Hawksmoor in King's Cross.
00:34So that's taking over the Midland Grand which they had a chef who allegedly had to shut down immediately
00:39right for lunch service because there were some financial problems.
00:42And now they've got in the safest pair of hands they can, right?
00:44Yeah, I mean Hawksmoor seems like the perfect fit.
00:47You know, good steak group.
00:49Had a bit of sirloin which was going around in trays. That was delicious.
00:53How do you feel about Hawksmoor in general?
00:55I like Hawksmoor. I think it's a solid group.
00:58I think, you know, I love their £19 lunch deal.
01:01Okay.
01:01That's really good when they've got it on.
01:02Do you like it?
01:03I sort of think it's a bit sports dad in a pair of Adidas trainers now.
01:06I was hoping you were going to say that because you said that the other day.
01:09I'm just kind of not sure that it's still as off the moment as it was.
01:13But I do think that they really know how to operate.
01:15And Americans love them which is not a benefit but it's great for their bank announcers.
01:19Can I ask, what's a sports dad?
01:21You know, a guy who takes his kids to sport on a Saturday.
01:25Okay.
01:25Generic sport is fine.
01:26Fine.
01:27Our producer just asked us about Tommy Robinson being kicked out of Hawksmoor.
01:30Have you ever been kicked out of anywhere?
01:31No.
01:32I bet you have been.
01:32No, mate. Never.
01:34Never?
01:34No, never. Have you?
01:35So 10 years ago I got kicked out of the **** in Soho.
01:39The ****.
01:39Yeah, allegedly London's best Guinness but in fact probably it's worst.
01:43Who says it's London's best Guinness?
01:43People who don't know anything and don't drink Guinness.
01:46Okay.
01:47And I'd written something negative about the pub that I fully stand behind.
01:51Probably similar to saying it's not London's best Guinness.
01:54Yeah, yeah.
01:54And the landlord leapt over the bar.
01:58Which was quite impressive because he's geriatric.
02:00And then like proceeded to like wrestle me at the pub.
02:04The man hounded you, did he?
02:06Yeah.
02:07I'm not going to say it went well for anyone.
02:09So yeah, so that's where I've not.
02:11And I would never go back and I'll never mention them.
02:13And I thoroughly recommend no one goes.
02:15Right. Well, there we are.
02:17No, I've had it again where someone.
02:19It was actually ****.
02:21They saw me walk past.
02:23I went into ****.
02:24When I came out he was wasting.
02:26And he was like, you're David Ellison.
02:28And I said, yeah.
02:29And he said, how could you do this to my business?
02:31Blah, blah, blah.
02:32You're ruining my life.
02:32And I said, we can go and sit down and talk about it if you want.
02:35And then he just proceeded to shout and scream until my friend came in and was like, I really think you need to stop.
02:40So we left.
02:41So you've been chucked out of all those shots.
02:43So I'm banned.
02:43Tommy Robinson.
02:45Well, we don't know what, you know, his local takeaway is doing.
02:48No.
02:49But yeah.
02:50So yeah.
02:50He's probably not going to an Indian though, is he?
02:51I've been banned from somewhere and I've been chucked out of somewhere.
02:54Anything else that you've been up to?
02:56So I was in Paris recently, a few days ago.
03:00Great.
03:01That's great for a London podcast.
03:02I know.
03:02But you said it was fine earlier.
03:04Anyway, I just, you know, to bring it back to London.
03:07I wish there was a Bouillon Chartier, which is where I went in London because I got a
03:11lovely pork terrine, a lovely salad, dressed perfectly and eggs with mayonnaise and a bit
03:18of white wine for 15 euros.
03:20And while there's some fantastic French restaurants in London, none of them offer anything like
03:25that for that price.
03:26That's crazy.
03:28I went to a place called Martino's.
03:30So you know the Dover, still the coolest place in town.
03:32Bizarrely, Dover's one of those places that I just don't, I shouldn't really belong here
03:36because everyone is sort of another like six foot above me, impossibly glamorous.
03:41It kind of looks like a catwalk when you walk through it.
03:43Anyway, the guy behind it, Martin, has just opened a new place in Sloan Square.
03:47Terrible part of town to eat.
03:49Well, this could bring it back, right?
03:50Yeah.
03:51It looks sort of a bit like the original Harry's.
03:54It is gorgeous.
03:55And I think that's going to be the hardest to book restaurant probably the last end of
03:59the year, even though they've opened just before Christmas.
04:00Delicious.
04:01Nice.
04:01Anything else you've been doing?
04:03I went to Cut by 45.
04:05They had a big all-hands chef's dinner.
04:08And like most all-hands chef's dinners, that just turned into a big drinking session at
04:12one end of the table.
04:13Can you come round, mate, and just explain your dish?
04:15No, mate.
04:16So someone in the middle has to just pretend.
04:19I missed a lot last week by the sounds of it.
04:21You did.
04:21Scootling off to France.
04:24And what did you eat there?
04:25Do you remember?
04:29Yeah.
04:30Anything?
04:30No, I remember.
04:31Brilliant.
04:32Good.
04:32I can't tell you because I've sworn to secrecy, but I could definitely tell you.
04:36Right.
04:37We're going to do second sittings where Josh and I run over our reviews for this week.
04:42Where did you go?
04:43I went to Smokey Kudu.
04:44Okay.
04:45So Kudu, obviously, they had their restaurants in Peckham.
04:49They moved to Marleybone, around the corner from Lita, Opso, Kima, and the Raj Duked.
04:54Is this because Peckham is just not what it was a few years ago?
04:57I think Peckham's great.
04:58I just think, you know, they'd been there for a while.
05:01Yeah.
05:01I think they'd kind of probably exhausted it, and they wanted, there isn't really the
05:05space or capacity or footfall to have what they have now, which is a big old glamorous
05:10restaurant, you know, champagne and so on and so forth.
05:14So the new tagline is too popular for Peckham, basically?
05:17Interesting take.
05:19Maybe.
05:20Why don't you email in and see what they think?
05:22Okay.
05:23Yeah, yeah.
05:23Anyway, so they've got that, and then upstairs they've got their bar concept called Smokey
05:27Kudu.
05:28Okay.
05:28Really moody, ambient.
05:29Constant fire alarms.
05:30Soft, yeah, exactly.
05:32You can smoke indoors.
05:33Good one.
05:33Okay.
05:35Cheap gags, it's what we do.
05:37I mean, yeah, it's great.
05:38But what I think is quite cool is they've sort of retained some of the kind of old Peckham
05:43vibes.
05:44So they've got martinis for a tenner.
05:46Yeah.
05:47The Peckham mule, which is really good.
05:48Nice fiery, gingery vodka drink, and some other good cocktails too.
05:53And you can get up there a couple of snacks, one of which I would say is probably the best
05:59bar snack in town alongside the mini hot dog in the Dover, which is a prawn cruller, and
06:04it's just phenomenal.
06:05Where do you go, mate?
06:06I went to Bistro Sable or Sable, as in the biscuit, the shortbread.
06:15It's a bistro, and I went because I was sick of having bad meals.
06:18I think people think that it's quite fun to write a negative restaurant review, but they
06:22forget that that also involves having a horrible meal.
06:25And so for the past couple of weeks, I've just been having a dreadful time at enormous
06:28expense, which is kind of the double.
06:30And what I liked about it is it felt like it was put together by a team of people.
06:35I think those people are...
06:36People, yeah.
06:37No, no, no.
06:37As in, it didn't feel like it was a committee, and it didn't feel like someone had just typed
06:41into AI, design me a bistro, here's what the menu should be.
06:45Right.
06:45So anyway, they've not actually changed it very much, which is kind of quite clever in
06:49terms of how it looks.
06:51You can get started for eight or nine quid.
06:53Mains are all under 26, apart from Dover Soul, which is, what, 65 everywhere else?
06:5745 on the menu.
06:58Glass of wine from six quid.
06:59What did you eat there?
07:01Well, we had French onion.
07:02So we had everything that, like, a Brit would think a French restaurant serves.
07:06Right.
07:07But for that reason, it was incredibly comforting.
07:09Right.
07:10So I had beef bourguignon and French onion soup, not in that order.
07:13That would have been strange.
07:14French onion soup and beef bourguignon.
07:15Yeah.
07:16How much are we talking for that?
07:17Let's say...
07:18The whole meal was with a not inexpensive bottle of wine, like 47, which actually now is not
07:25so bad.
07:25But for a 47 pound bottle of wine came to 160 or just under.
07:30Does the beef bourguignon, as I always wish to see at Bistro's, come with the coquillette,
07:36the little macaroni pasta?
07:37It does not.
07:39Oh, dear.
07:39Wow.
07:40Come on.
07:41Sort it out.
07:42All I would say is it made me feel the same way that I feel when it's raining outside on
07:45Saturday morning and I just want to stay under the covers.
07:47Snugly.
07:48Yeah.
07:48It was just exactly that feeling in the restaurant.
07:50How do you get cosy?
07:52We have brushed cotton sheets.
07:54Yeah, lovely.
07:55And then I just get my manservant to bring me in a cup of coffee.
08:00Right, now we play overrated, underrated.
08:02We've asked the AI overlords to give us a topic and list the best of it, or our producers
08:07have, because we're lazy.
08:08Okay, I'm looking forward to my take, which is going to be, oh, it's a pizza place, overrated.
08:13Yeah, everything.
08:14Chris.
08:15Perfectly rated.
08:16Yeah, fairly rated.
08:17Worth the hype.
08:17It's incredible.
08:18It's one of the few pizzas that I actually love.
08:20It's fantastic.
08:21Yeah, Chris is amazing.
08:22Johan's.
08:23Johan's is good.
08:24Never had, no idea.
08:26Napoli on the road.
08:27Underrated.
08:28Yeah.
08:28Brilliant Neapolitan.
08:29And also the Chiswick original is like, quite a good vibe.
08:32Yeah, good vibe, and he's opening in Soho.
08:34Bing Bong.
08:36Ah, Bing Bong Pizza.
08:37That's from Emma at the Prince Arthur.
08:39Oh, yeah, I've heard amazing things, actually.
08:41Yeah, it's good pizza.
08:42Fairly rated.
08:43Pizza Express.
08:45Underrated, 100% back Pizza Express, especially the Jazz Club in Soho.
08:50But what I will say is that I went in not that long ago, because I was like, I'm going to
08:53write a piece about how great Pizza Express is, and we'll pour them, blah, blah, blah.
08:57Price is high for the pizza that you're getting.
08:59Price is high.
09:00Yeah.
09:00I think if you're, you know, if you're Elon Musk, who I imagine must be going to Pizzeria's
09:05all the time, then you're not going to worry about the cost.
09:08Elon Musk be going for Pizzeria's all the time.
09:11Pizza Express is shit.
09:12I'm really sorry.
09:12No, it's fine.
09:13It's fairly rated.
09:14Santa Maria.
09:15Good.
09:16Yeah.
09:16Santa Maria is proper Neapolitan, so it's originally Neapolitan rather than Neo.
09:19It's really good.
09:20Yeah, I'd say fairly rated.
09:21That's amazing.
09:22Crazy Pizza.
09:24Oh, no.
09:25Oh, no.
09:26You don't know Crazy Pizza.
09:29People queue for this.
09:31Are you all right?
09:31No, I'm not all right because people are queuing for this, and great restaurants shut down daily.
09:36It's so animated.
09:37Honestly, I just want it to shut so much.
09:40What is it?
09:41It's where you go and they, like, revolve.
09:43It's basically Magic Mike.
09:45It's like Magic Mike meets a Pizzeria.
09:49It's Magic Mike meets Pizza Express.
09:50It's terrible.
09:51Sounds fun to me.
09:51I mean, I love Magic Mike, but that's beside the point.
09:54It's just so gaudy and tacky and trashy and way too expensive.
09:58How much is a Crazy Pizza?
10:00I don't know.
10:02Whatever.
10:02Right, this is Bones Pick, where we pick bones with random topics that we don't see beforehand.
10:08Are there too many Pretz in London?
10:10The answer is yes, and it's irrefutable.
10:13Yeah, it's probably the worst coffee of a high street chain.
10:15Terrible coffee.
10:17Sandwiches are getting worse.
10:18Do one, mate.
10:19Yeah, that's the entire take.
10:20So, apparently, Pretz axed its vegan Christmas sandwich this year.
10:24Obviously, a few years ago, veganism was all the rage, and now, what have we got?
10:29What are your thoughts?
10:30I think it's probably a sensible business decision, because veganism's basically died out.
10:35The number of consumers buying all this stuff has just dwindled.
10:38They're too tired, aren't they, to go out.
10:40They can't crawl to the supermarket.
10:42No, I just think that people have realised it doesn't necessarily work for them.
10:45I think a lot of the stuff around veganism to do with the ultra-process, now that we're realising ultra-processed foods are really bad for you, you know, there's a way to do veganism, and there's a way that veganism was thrust upon us, and people have rejected that.
10:56So, Pretz won't make any money, because no-one will buy one, and that's how it works.
11:00It's just market economics, isn't it?
11:01I mean, if you, if Pretz really, and also, if Pretz really cared about anything like that, you know, having a steak on a Friday night as a special occasion, great.
11:09Having a roast dinner, roast chicken on a Sunday, fabaroonis.
11:12Going out and getting a roast beef sandwich from a supermarket like Tesco on a Tuesday lunch, that's what's killing the world, isn't it?
11:18Yeah, I, yeah, I'm not anti-veganism, I just think it's closing.
11:22No, yeah, I was trying to be a bit normal and tense for that, but veganism, bullshit, get rid of it.
11:26So, before we leave these kind people in peace, give me a hint as to where you're going next week.
11:32A hint. Proper Brixton dive bar, old school, really, really lowly rated on Google, but probably a great laugh.
11:40Strong.
11:41It involves pizza in a favourable way.
11:44Ah, ah, yeah.
11:46Okay, so I think we're done.
11:48Yeah, we are done. Romeo.
11:50Romeo done.
11:50Yeah.
11:51Thank you so much for watching.
11:52If you have any questions that you want us to answer or anything that you'd like a terrible but very fresh hot take on,
11:59please comment below and we'll try and get around to it next week.
12:02And more importantly than that, please do subscribe to The Standard.
12:06Josh has so many kids that he needs to pay for.
12:08It's really, really important.
12:10Thanks.
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