Qayadat e Nabvi ﷺ Episode 17
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Host: Omar Hayat | Guest: Shaykh Bilal Ahsan & Danilo Simoni
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To Watch More ➡️ https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQ74MR5_8Xify_WZmznnJn0jeajN9iy-a
Host: Omar Hayat | Guest: Shaykh Bilal Ahsan & Danilo Simoni
#QayadateNabviﷺ #OmarHayat #aryqtv #shaykhbilalahsan
Join ARY Qtv on WhatsApp ➡️ https://bit.ly/3Qn5cym
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Website ➡️ https://aryqtv.tv/
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00Muzika
00:24A'udhu Billahi Minash Shaitan Ar-Rajeeem
00:26Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem
00:27Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen
00:30Allahumma Salli Ala Sayyidina Muhammad
00:32Wabarak Wasallam
00:34In our last episode we studied a modern framework, a practical framework
00:40which will allow leaders to become the best version of themselves.
00:44Shaykh Bilal Esen gave us all of those references from the seat of our Prophet
00:49which allowed him to personify these various energy levels.
00:53We like to go deep dive into the first dimension of leadership
00:58which is this bio energetic intelligence.
01:01The ability to be able to execute with great levels of energy
01:05and then to be able to inspire and transform others through that process.
01:09In this episode, we'll spend time looking at the heart set dimension
01:14which Dr. Danilo Simone spoke about in the last episode
01:17which is this ability to access the emotional intelligence that we all have in various degrees.
01:24Of course, we know that is such a critical aspect of leadership.
01:28The ability to not just think about the bottom line but go beyond the bottom line
01:33and to make yourself and your colleagues as well as people who report to you understand
01:37that there's a world beyond targets, KPIs and objectives.
01:42Why do people show up to work?
01:45And in the case of the topic we'll discuss,
01:47why did these leaders that our Prophet Muhammad transformed go on to change
01:52not just the minds or the religion but the hearts of millions?
01:58Shaykh Bilal Esen, Dr. Danilo Simone, welcome back.
02:01Thank you very much.
02:02Dr. Danilo Simone, would you like to go a bit deep dive into this aspect of heart set,
02:08this dimension of emotional intelligence? How does this link to leadership?
02:12Well, first of all, we have to understand that we have at least two different levels of emotional intelligence.
02:19The first one is more related to feeling and being aware of what is happening inside of you
02:31as a reaction of something happening outside. So we may call this intelligence like gut emotional intelligence,
02:39something that we really feel at the gut level, emotional reaction. It's the very first layer of our emotional life.
02:50Why is that so important? Because as a leader, actually any human being,
02:58if I do not recognize, I'm not aware of what I'm feeling, then this emotional reaction will become my internal reality.
03:11If I, let's say that I am angry for something that is happening within a conversation or in a relationship,
03:21if I do not realize how anger I am, then this anger will get into my thoughts, it will get into my actions.
03:32So not being aware, not having process, not having elaborated this emotional reaction,
03:38will just create condition for dimensional creation to pollute into what I'm doing.
03:45So as a leader, if I'm not aware of my emotional reaction, all my emotional reaction will be injected,
03:52inserted into the emotional field of the team. And that could impact the world view of a leader.
04:00But all the hundred thousand of people that worked with that leader. So imagine that a leader is not aware of
04:08of his or her level of anxiety and is not able to manage it and is not able to process it. Every single action,
04:18every single communication of this leader toward the people will be kind of connotated with anxiety.
04:29And this anxiety will spread within the organization. So when you have an emotional reaction,
04:36if I have just one more minute because I think it's very important. You have kind of three possible
04:45two possible ways. The first one, you are not comfortable with that emotional reaction,
04:52so you just suppress it. It's a big problem because when you suppress an emotional reaction,
04:58the energy that is kind of intertwined with emotional reaction will stay in the body. So for example,
05:07the anger that stays in the body will be transformed into some kind of, I don't know, inflammation
05:13process. Now psychosomatic and psychoneuroimmunology are teaching us how related are the emotional reaction
05:22with things that are happening in our body. And basically how inflammation is the first stage,
05:29the first level of many pathologies. So suppressing emotional reaction, not a great idea. You are
05:35intoxicating your body. Then you're not comfortable with it. You don't want to suppress it. What you do?
05:41You just act it. You just let the thing go in the relational system. So you are anxious, you become anxious
05:53with the people you are with. You are angry, you express anger with the people you're with. So in this case,
06:00you're saving, you're protecting your body, but you're intoxicating your system. You're intoxicating the
06:06emotional field that your people live in. It's not a great idea neither. So there's a third way. The only way
06:15is to elaborate it, to process it. So I have this emotional reaction. I become aware of this emotional
06:23reaction. I stay with it. I let it express within myself. And then the energy, the information that is
06:34within the emotional reaction can be used by higher intelligence, as cognitive rational intelligence.
06:40And this process we'll see later, is possible because of the work of the heart. So the heart is the
06:49space that will allow this alchemic transformation of the emotional reaction, the information that is
06:56within. If I suppress it, I lose the basic information. So I have no chance to transform
07:02the situation that creating that first moment, this reaction. So I'm not changing the world. I'm not
07:09transforming the world. The only way is to process it, to really live it fully and transform it.
07:20Umar if I may intervene at this point, because as Dr. Danino was speaking, I was just thinking that,
07:27you know, SubhanAllah, how Quran taught these fundamental concepts to Rasulullah and to the
07:36ummah, through him to the ummah, and how Rasulullah then gave the practical demonstration of what was being
07:45taught in the Quran. Just few things that you were talking about. Using your negative energy and then
07:51transform, internalizing the negative energy, understanding it, and then transforming it into
07:56something positive. So there's a concept in our deen of Ihsan. Right? Ihsan means that if somebody has done
08:06something bad or wrong to you, in return, you do two things. In return, you forgive them. So basically,
08:15by forgiveness, that means that you negate all the negativity that is there. You neutralize it.
08:23And not only do you forgive them, you do something good for them. So Ihsan has two elements. You forgive a
08:31person and once you have forgiven a person, you do something even better for them. You do something in
08:38return good for them. Right? So the negative energy got neutralized when you forgave the person and then
08:45it turned into positivity once you did something good for them. As a leader, that's extremely important.
08:53There would be many times when people would have done something wrong in the organization that you're
09:00leading, in the group that you're leading. So forgiving the people and then some doing something
09:06good to them. Two examples that I just rushing into my mind. In the Battle of Uhud, there were certain
09:13Sahaba radiallahu ta'ala ajma'een who misunderstood a command from Rasulullah and as per
09:20their misunderstanding, they acted in a manner in which Rasulullah didn't desire for them to act.
09:26As a result, Muslims incurred a lot of loss. The loss of life, loss of wealth and many a Sahaba
09:34radiallahu ta'ala ajma'een who lost their lives as well. Of course, this was a difficult situation.
09:42This was a situation where as a leader, you would be infuriated that, you know, why would you not do
09:49something that I had told you? A very simple command. Why would you not understand that?
09:54Rasulullah acted just the opposite. Not only did he forgive
10:00those Sahaba Ikram, but just to reassure them that they are forgiven. It's not just that you're forgiven,
10:08you do what you do, I do what I do. He further went on to consult them about the next steps that
10:16they should be taking now that this battle is over. So he went into a consultative mode, ensuring that
10:22they feel that they are still part of the group, they are still trusted, right? And upon this Allah
10:28commended Rasulullah and he said that had you been hard-hearted with them, had you had been tough with
10:36them, the Wahaba would have disseminated, they would have gone away.
10:40It was the softness of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the ability to convert the wrong into
10:48positivity that helped that Sahaba Ikram stayed together. Another example, very quickly, Umar,
10:54the conquest of Makkah. Makkah was a place where Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was expelled from.
11:01This was a place where he, his family, the companions and their families were tortured. They were really
11:08when they are given hard, tough time. When Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam comes back, he follows the
11:14principle of Quran which says that itfabillati hiyya ahsan, that do away with it with something good.
11:23He at that point in time knew that if I showed mercy, if I showed for, you know, acceptance and open,
11:31open-heartedness to the people, they would all come into the fold of Islam and that's exactly what happened.
11:37Truly, it's these crossroads of understanding attributes, qualities of leadership in the light
11:43of the Sita, which will help us become so much better human beings, contributors to our environment
11:50and families and organizations, and of course, the Ummah as well. When we come back from the break,
11:56we'll go deep dive with Dr. Danilo, looking at what forgiveness does, what making people feel that they
12:03have empathy, that they're working with an empathic leader, what kind of an environment that creates.
12:09We'll see you after the break. Welcome back. Before we went on the break,
12:13Sheikh Bilal Ahsan spoke to us about the various examples in the life of our beloved Prophet Muhammad
12:18sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, that demonstrated forgiveness, be it at the Battle of Uhud,
12:24be it at the time of the conquest of Makkah.
12:26Dr. Simone, we wanted to ask you, what have you seen in your study of leadership,
12:32looking at boardrooms and looking at corporates, where a leader practices a high level of empathy,
12:38the ability to not just feel for, but feel with, the ability to listen at the highest level,
12:44and then be able to either forgive, but also create an environment that then doesn't hold that
12:50against people and allows them to contribute to their organizations in the future as well.
12:54Well, first of all, I think it's important to define empathy, because there are like two different
13:00levels of empathy. So empathy basic is the ability to feel or to recognize what the other person is
13:10feeling. Now we have more clarity about the neurological background that allow empathy to the discovery
13:20of the so-called mirror neurons. So just like that, when we see somebody doing something, it just
13:31those neurons, they fight, and it's just like that we are living within ourselves what the other people
13:37is doing. So that level of empathy is not related to forgiveness. The level of empathy is more related
13:46that I understand what the other feeling, but then nobody tells me what kind of use I'm going to make of it.
13:53So I may use empathy to manipulate, I may use empathy to have an influence, I may use empathy even
14:01against the other person. So that's a level of empathy just related to the fact that I know what you're
14:07feeling. Understanding. Understanding what you are feeling through my feeling, but still a level of, I mean,
14:16it's this very basic level. There's a second level, and when the heart intelligence gets in. It's not just
14:25that I recognize and acknowledge what you're feeling, but I feel compassion for you. So I'm really in your
14:35shoes, and I leave what you are leaving and answer for you. In that moment, it's just like there is no
14:42no two I's. It's not I and you, there's a we. So we are leaving the same things. So my experience,
14:54forgiveness is possible only where there is this we connection between people. It's not just
15:02understanding, it's just leaving the same thing together. So at that moment, just like this idea of
15:08separation dissolves. And then forgiveness is possible because I know by living what you're
15:17living that what you did was not probably against me, but was a result of a fragility, the result of
15:24fear, was out of some vulnerability has been touched, and it completely changes the game. So I don't see
15:33the whole thing from my gut perspective. It's all related. Oh, this is against me. It makes me feel bad.
15:41Oh, this is not my expectation. It's a completely different level where, oh, no, I understand where this
15:50behavior comes from. I'm sorry for you that you have this fragility, that you have this fear, that you have this
15:56problem that pushed you to do in such way. With Alison, of course, a thousand things that come to
16:05our mind running and racing into the various aspects of our Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam's life.
16:10Shaykh bin Alaihi Wasallam, what role does the heart play in the life of a Muslim?
16:16Omar, what Dr. Danilo was saying was, you know, just so beautiful with regards to forgiveness.
16:26I'll come to the role of heart, but I want to talk a bit about forgiveness and this concept of
16:31forgiveness and we as opposed to looking at I forgive you, so I'm separate and you are separate.
16:38Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam taught that none of you can be a believer unless you wish for your brother
16:47that you wish for yourself, right? Which means that the
16:55the very belief of a person is dependent on having this mindset of us
17:05not thinking as you and I as two separate bodies, wishing for someone that you wish for yourself,
17:16right? And that when you think like that, it is so easy to forgive because you know that
17:24in that person's shoe you could have easily made the same mistake.
17:28In that person's position, the same emotions could have come out of you making the other person feel
17:37as you're feeling right now. And when you can think like that, when you can feel like that,
17:44it's very easy to forgive because you too would want to be forgiven. And hence why there is such emphasis
17:52on forgiveness in Aadeen. There is a lot of emphasis on forgiveness in Aadeen. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
18:00said that the a strong person is not the one who executes or demonstrates his anger but rather is the one
18:14who even being on the right forgives. Who even being on the right, he forgives, right? Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
18:22said that we should forgive people's fault
18:28in hope that just as I am forgiving now, Allah will forgive my faults on the day of Qiyamah.
18:35It's a very profound hadith. This reminds us again that we too are vulnerable. We too have to go and
18:42stand in somewhere up front of somebody. If we are going to be that I'll never forgive that person,
18:47I'll never do this. We should keep in mind that you know there is somebody who I have to be answerable
18:52for. If I just forgive right now, there will be somebody much powerful on a very important day
19:00who will be forgiving me as well. Of course we know our Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said
19:05that anybody who forgives someone else will be like this with me on the day of Jannah.
19:10I also wanted to ask you about this element of forgiveness where in the most difficult times,
19:23we've spoken about the time of Taif when our Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was so badly
19:28treated by the people of Taif and even at that time when the angels came to him to say should we destroy
19:34these people that level of forgiveness even though people had done harm to him, even though he was on
19:41the right. But not only did he forgive them, Sheikh Palal Ahsan we know he made dua for them and then that
19:48dua transformed those people's lives for millennia. That's Ihsan what we spoke about previously that
19:54that that's Ihsan. To do something not only forgive people but also do something best better for them
20:02and there can be anything better than the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam making dua for someone
20:07because that is an accepted dua and we saw it that how Taif got transformed uh later on.
20:13What about the heart? Tell us what role does the heart play in the life of a Muslim? Heart for a Muslim is
20:24an extremely extremely important part of our anatomy. A heart that is sound, a heart that is pure,
20:35a heart that is clean, affects the entire body, its entire emotions, its entire reactions, its entire
20:47decision making. So the heart, I don't know if the science has still reached that conclusion or not
20:55but what we do know for effect from Quran and the teachings of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
21:00is that the heart is the central organ that if that is right, the rest everything would be right.
21:09If the heart set is in the right place, the body set, the mind set, the soul set, they will all be
21:16connected and all be performing well. There's a hadith of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam in which he said that
21:22know that in your body there's a piece of flesh. This is verbatim, I'm not exactly quoting the hadith.
21:30So Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that in your know that in your body there's a piece of flesh.
21:36If that piece of flesh is sound, the entire body will be sound and if that piece of flesh is corrupt,
21:43the entire body would be corrupt and know that piece of flesh is your heart.
21:47So our heart is an extremely important element. So our heart plays an important role.
21:59Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala in different places in Quran have emphasized the importance of heart as well.
22:06In one place Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala said that indeed the hearing, the sight and the heart,
22:14all of them would be questioned. So he said that the what you hear would be questioned,
22:19what you see would be questioned and what is in your heart would be questioned as well.
22:24In another place Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala said that it is not the sight,
22:29it is not the eyes that become blind, it is the heart that becomes blind. Now some people,
22:36pseudo-intellect people they go on and say that yeah yeah this is Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala is you know
22:41still referring to intellect. So Quran even clarified that. He said you know Al-Latifis Sudur, it is
22:47actually the heart that is in your chest. There is no brain in the chest, it is only the heart that is
22:52in the chest. So it's the heart in the chest that becomes blind. I was doing some uh not as much
23:00research as you do on science but I was doing some research on science specific aspect of heart being in
23:06control and now there are studies that are available that clearly demonstrate that there are there is
23:13there are neurons within the heart that send signals to the brain on independently not that
23:19they receive from the brain and then vice versa send back to the brain they independently there are
23:25neurons which based on the emotions that are triggered in the heart send signals to the brain
23:30and then the brains act accordingly. Of course we know human beings are a complex creature. Yet
23:38self-awareness, self-discovery, knowing ourselves better will allow us to become better leaders in
23:45the science of the Sita of our beloved prophet Muhammad . I know our audience will greatly enjoy
23:52and learn from this crossroad of neuroscience, this dimension of psychology and a better understanding
24:00of human behavior and the lessons of our beloved prophet Muhammad . We continue
24:06on this series. We look forward to welcoming you in our next episode. As-salamu alaykum.
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