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00:00Previously on Love and Marriage Huntsville.
00:03I was told you left to go be there for your little grandbag
00:06from Latisha.
00:07And let me tell you, your friend
00:08needs to keep my family's business out her mouth.
00:13I have no intentions of saying anything about you
00:16that's negative whatsoever.
00:18Likewise.
00:19None.
00:20Yeah, and I feel that.
00:21Can we just end right there?
00:22And I feel that.
00:23I hope you know it's genuine.
00:26You know, it's torn.
00:27It's actually my godbrother.
00:29Trish has told me that he's interested
00:31and might take him up on the offer.
00:33How do you feel about that?
00:35I mean, what can I say, right?
00:37I just hear the baby.
00:38You're being forthcoming, so I appreciate that,
00:40and I bless that.
00:42Trish trying to hook up Destiny and Twan.
00:45Did you hear the baby?
00:47No, I didn't.
00:48Your relationship is with Ken.
00:49Y'all are the two adults.
00:51At the end of the day, you have to have
00:52a communicative relationship with that man.
00:55The kids, y'all have a conversation with later.
00:57I'll take that one.
00:59This relationship, bro.
01:00I think ultimately, bro, I'm just mad up.
01:02If she doesn't get the help that she needs, I'm out.
01:06We keep it moving.
01:08All day, all night.
01:09Yeah.
01:10Ain't no stopping us.
01:11Drop that.
01:12We ain't stopping.
01:13You know, you know.
01:14We keep it moving.
01:15All day, all night.
01:16Yeah.
01:17Yeah.
01:18Yeah.
01:19All day, all night.
01:20Yeah.
01:21All day, all night.
01:22Yeah.
01:23Ain't no stopping us.
01:24Yeah.
01:25Put it all in the vine just to get to the goal.
01:27Parts out for the world like a UFO.
01:28Thought I would have never made it, but you ain't no.
01:29I can get it done.
01:30Ain't no where I can go.
01:31Ground.
01:32Up.
01:33Ground.
01:34Up.
01:35One more.
01:36Ground.
01:40Up.
01:41One more.
01:42Ground.
01:43Up.
01:44All right.
01:45Keep going.
01:46Keep going.
01:47Keep going.
01:48I'll have to do it.
01:50Keep going.
01:51Yeah.
01:53You got to do it.
01:54It ain't no where I can go.
01:55No need to do it.
01:56It's not a bad thing.
01:57You got to do it.
01:58It doesn't happen to be done.
01:59This ain't even better.
02:00You got to do it.
02:01It doesn't make it.
02:02Yeah!
02:03The game.
02:04Come on, push it, one more.
02:06Squeeze through the chest.
02:08Push it, push it, push it.
02:10Lock it.
02:14So I've been training Xavier for quite a while now,
02:16and I'm glad we're getting this session in,
02:18because there's been a lot of tension in the house,
02:20and I just want to know where he is mentally.
02:22If anything, I want to work on my leg more,
02:24get more muscle, especially on this leg,
02:26because this one's still kind of stronger.
02:28Than that leg? Yeah.
02:30So we can do legs together.
02:32I also want to do more core workouts.
02:34Obliques?
02:36You want some obliques?
02:38You even got a waist.
02:40What you mean?
02:42Your waist is about this small.
02:44I really eat time. Yeah, it is.
02:46Your waist is this small, your body goes like a Dorito.
02:48That's how your body is like a Dorito.
02:50You got to eat a lot of protein.
02:54That protein powder. I'm trying to eat more.
02:56Yeah, you got to eat more of the right stuff.
02:58You been okay?
03:00You been okay?
03:02I'm feeling all right.
03:03You sure?
03:04Yeah. Positive?
03:05Because you know, people say they okay all the time.
03:08I do it all the time.
03:09And don't really be okay.
03:12So I just want to make sure you were okay.
03:15Like, we hadn't really sat down and talked about all the,
03:20really all the chaos that's been going on,
03:22but didn't get to see how you really felt.
03:26You know, it's honestly kind of a lot.
03:33I will say I've been trying to, I guess, distract myself more,
03:37is what I say.
03:39Distract yourself more for?
03:41Just not letting my, um, my thoughts go on the deep end.
03:49Trying to focus.
03:54Trying to focus on my future.
03:56I don't want to be depressed, I guess.
03:59It's in deep end.
04:00I have probably, you know, I don't cry a lot,
04:03but probably have cried probably like twice.
04:05So when I mean deep end, I just don't want to be sad.
04:10I don't want to just stay sad.
04:13It's been a lot of, uh, fight.
04:16Not even just between you and dad,
04:19but also between you, Ken, too.
04:22Yeah.
04:23Yes, it has.
04:25Co-parenting with two narcissists?
04:27Oh!
04:28Bro, y'all, you learn the narcissist's word and just...
04:30Bro, you're a bum!
04:31Who say the bond are you in now?
04:33Oh, I'm sober.
04:34Are you sure?
04:35I'm positive.
04:36Because now you're feeling a bunch of bullshit.
04:38You should really be ashamed of how you doing,
04:40my son and my daughter right now.
04:41How?
04:42Hey!
04:43Hey!
04:44One and a half minute!
04:45One and a half minute!
04:46Get!
04:47Get!
04:48Get!
04:49Stop!
04:50Oh, my gosh!
04:53Y'all got me up!
04:58Um...
04:59Honestly, Ken's a cool guy.
05:00Ken is very nice,
05:02and I appreciate him for a lot of stuff.
05:06I know it's been hard for Ken,
05:07so I've been trying to...
05:08When I talk to him, I just be like,
05:09it's gonna be good.
05:10Stay positive.
05:11I don't know.
05:12I honestly...
05:13I just hate to see people that, you know,
05:15I care about.
05:16Fight.
05:17Say hurtful things.
05:18Say mean things.
05:19Really try to act like y'all hate each other.
05:23And I just like...
05:24None of y'all...
05:25Like...
05:26Y'all don't...
05:27I hate each other, man.
05:28You know, I don't like...
05:29I don't like any of that.
05:30And you...
05:31Like I said, you're not the only one.
05:32I said that the same thing.
05:34I try to distract myself from.
05:35Cause it really does hurt me.
05:36I do not...
05:37Like any negative...
05:38Negative words towards you.
05:39I don't like it towards my dad.
05:40I don't like any of that.
05:41So...
05:42That's just been...
05:43The only thing that's just been...
05:44Kinda eating at me.
05:45But...
05:46At some point in time, I felt like I couldn't really talk to you.
05:49But...
05:50Yeah, see.
05:51That's crazy.
05:52Yeah.
05:53Really, all it takes is communication.
05:54Like, y'all, we need to just talk it through.
05:55Mm-hmm.
05:56I feel like Kent also is kinda...
05:57Going...
05:58Just through a little bit of communication.
05:59And I'm just gonna talk to you.
06:00I feel like Kent also is kinda...
06:01Going just through a little bit of communication.
06:02I don't like it towards my dad.
06:03I don't like it towards my dad.
06:04I don't like any of that.
06:05So...
06:06That's just been the only thing that's just been...
06:08Kinda eating at me.
06:09But...
06:10At some point in time, I felt like I couldn't really talk to you.
06:11Yeah, see.
06:12Like, Kent also is kinda...
06:14Going just through a little bit.
06:15Cause...
06:16He's have to...
06:17He's had to do a little bit and...
06:19You're right.
06:20Cause we'd be already on edge.
06:22So, it's just...
06:23I agree.
06:24You're right, son.
06:25You're definitely right.
06:28So, hearing from Xavier that...
06:30When Kent and I fight, it really hurts him...
06:33Really bothers me and hurts me a lot.
06:35Um...
06:36Like, a lot.
06:37So...
06:38I feel like there's something I need to fix.
06:40Something I need to do.
06:41Um...
06:42To make this family better to where it was in the beginning.
06:45So, I think it's time.
06:46Kent and I have a talk.
06:47I am going to do everything possible in my power...
06:50To make sure.
06:51I'm gonna be able to back up and give back to our fun and happy selves.
06:54I'm gonna always have your back.
06:56Yeah.
06:57Always.
07:00Thank you, ma'am.
07:01You know, I always got your back, too.
07:03Don't even worry about it.
07:04Don't even worry about it.
07:12Oh, you're just my type.
07:14My type.
07:15My type.
07:16My type.
07:17My type.
07:18My type.
07:19My type.
07:20Really want to kill your life.
07:23My type.
07:24My type.
07:25My type.
07:26My type.
07:27This place is dusty.
07:30This thing is nasty.
07:33Look, oh, Lord, how massive good.
07:34What is you doing up there?
07:36You won't do it.
07:37I got to do it.
07:38Damn.
07:39You all up in there.
07:41I'm glad I got tops on them.
07:42How long have I been asking you to do this?
07:44Like, seriously?
07:45Please, please, please.
07:46Come on down.
07:47Jump down.
07:47You going to finish it for me now?
07:49Yeah, I'll finish it.
07:50Come on, get you something to drink.
07:51Oh, you know what?
07:52You can hire my maid back.
07:55As usual, I have to do all the chores around the house.
08:00Why do we need to hire the housekeeper?
08:02I can do what the housekeeper does.
08:07You're not.
08:07What the hell you mean?
08:08I can.
08:09You're not a good.
08:10You are not a good replacement for the housekeeper.
08:13Oh, no.
08:14Hire my damn housekeeper back.
08:16This is nice and standing here with you in a minute.
08:20I know.
08:21So I was boxing with Twan and Lance.
08:25Apparently, I don't know, Destiny's interested in dating Twan.
08:31Wait a minute.
08:33Say what?
08:34You heard me.
08:36Get the out of here.
08:37You heard me.
08:38Nope.
08:39Lance's friend.
08:40Lance's friend.
08:41Yes.
08:42Destiny wants to date him.
08:43Mm-hmm.
08:44But I said I did have a problem with it.
08:48And then Lance was like, but why?
08:50I gave Destiny my blessing.
08:53Who the ?
08:55That's crazy to hear.
08:56I don't know how it transpired.
08:57Well, he is how I took it.
08:58I don't know what the hell Lance got going on with Destiny.
09:02But it's kind of, to me, it's almost like he feels a sense of, is it guilt?
09:08Is that the right word?
09:09Um, I wouldn't want to say guilt for him.
09:13Is that something really that Destiny wants to do?
09:15Or is Destiny pulling a, uh, like a page out of Martell's book, like being petty?
09:23You know what I'm saying?
09:24Oh, okay.
09:25So you're going to have a, you're going to go and have a child.
09:26You say you didn't know, but you're going to go have a child.
09:28Then I'm going to go date your friend.
09:30You know, that's petty bull .
09:33So, yeah.
09:34Um, but anyway, I met with Destiny to see where we stand.
09:40Oh, her re-evaluating your relationship.
09:43Yeah, exactly.
09:44She felt some type of way about Leticia Scott telling her that I knew that Lance had a child on the way.
09:57Leticia told Destiny this?
09:59Yes.
10:00Leticia told Destiny that I knew Lance had a child on the way.
10:06No.
10:07And that's what I told her.
10:08Well, that's, that's not true.
10:09No.
10:10Got her damn nose somewhere it don't belong.
10:13Mm-hmm.
10:14Well, you know.
10:15And telling Destiny.
10:16That's Destiny's friend, so.
10:17Yeah, you're right.
10:18It is.
10:19Considering all the things that she said has been said about hers and she do not like,
10:26Leticia should know that talking about people's families is off limits.
10:31But, um, me and Destiny, we're good where we stand.
10:36And that's good.
10:37That's good.
10:38I think, I think, I think we'll, I think we'll be okay.
10:41I just have to wait and see.
10:43You know, I said the same thing about me and Leticia.
10:45I thought we was gonna be okay, but apparently she's still running that mouth.
10:48So, I don't really know who I'm okay with in this group, to be honest.
10:57Coming up on Love and Marriage Huntsville.
10:59I definitely need a person that can accept me for who I am.
11:02And I'm a lot of different people.
11:03For real?
11:04Yep.
11:05That's crazy.
11:06It's always how you feel, how the kids feel.
11:10Ain't nobody ever put in a conscious ever about, hey, how does Ken feel?
11:15Do you want to be here?
11:36I got pretty girl swag.
11:38Me got pretty girl swag.
11:41Uh, table for two.
11:42Table for two.
11:43Today I'm meeting Twan, who was my previous bodyguard for an event for a business luncheon.
11:48I'm very nervous.
11:50And that's not like me at all.
11:54Hello.
11:55How you doing, Miss Destiny?
11:56How you doing?
11:57How you doing?
11:58Good to see you.
11:59Good to see you too.
12:00The whole point of this luncheon is for Twan to guard my body at events.
12:05So I invited you here because I wanted to talk business first and foremost.
12:08Okay.
12:09I don't know, some things have happened in life and I feel like as I go to more events,
12:14I probably should have somebody there for security reasons.
12:17True enough.
12:18And I felt like you were very professional.
12:20Appreciate you.
12:21You did a great job.
12:23Um, guarding my body.
12:26That's, yeah, that's, that's usually the plan when you step out there.
12:29Uh huh.
12:30Uh huh.
12:31It was an interesting event.
12:32And it was this whole thing about me making googly eyes.
12:37Yeah, what was that about anyway?
12:38Did you feel like I was making googly eyes at you?
12:40Yeah, how do you make googly eyes though?
12:41I don't know.
12:42I don't know.
12:43How you do that?
12:44It's like this right there.
12:45Not like that, I hope.
12:47We was vibing.
12:48It was just, it was a vibe.
12:49It was like, I'm there for you.
12:50I wasn't there for anybody else.
12:51So anytime you said something, I'm right there lockstep.
12:54So, uh, maybe it was me smiling.
12:56I have no idea.
12:57Why were you smiling?
12:58I mean, you're beautiful.
13:01Oh.
13:02So, you know what I mean?
13:03Well, thank you.
13:04I didn't think you were making googly eyes at me.
13:06But, I mean, at the same time, I could be wrong.
13:08I don't know.
13:09I don't know.
13:10I don't know.
13:11What was that?
13:12I don't remember.
13:13I don't know.
13:14I mean, I'm not blind.
13:16You are attractive.
13:17I appreciate you.
13:19I heard some things, and I don't know.
13:22About me?
13:23Trish has said something about, you asked about me.
13:26I don't know if that's true or not.
13:28I don't remember talking to Trish.
13:30Maybe I may have said something.
13:31I don't know.
13:32I had a conversation with Lance, and I told him,
13:36if you were interested, that I might see what it is.
13:40And then he let me know that he was your god brother.
13:42Yes, he is.
13:43I did not know that.
13:45That made that conversation very awkward.
13:48Yeah.
13:49Yeah, but he was like, oh, I'll give you your blessing if it happens.
13:51I said, but it's been nothing but professional.
13:53So, I don't even know if that's true.
13:55I'm just letting you know so you don't have to find out on the internet
13:57like I found out about your kid on the internet.
13:59No.
14:00Wow.
14:02It's kind of...
14:03Well, I mean, it's just the truth.
14:04Not for you.
14:05I had to talk with him, too.
14:06Mm-hmm.
14:07How'd it go?
14:08You know, the conversation was interesting.
14:09I just told him, you know, we'll see.
14:11I told him that the conversation needed to be had kind of like now.
14:13Mm-hmm.
14:14So, you talked to Lance.
14:16Did you talk to my mama?
14:18You say mama, that's like...
14:20I had to put it out there like that because I know that's probably how she did it.
14:24Your mama.
14:25If you did talk to her, I'm pretty sure she came.
14:26I did.
14:27Okay.
14:28I did talk to her.
14:29And, you know, being...
14:30Before even the whole Lance situation, me and Nell have been like this.
14:34She had a little...
14:35You know, she felt a little way.
14:37What'd she say?
14:38What didn't she say?
14:39All right.
14:40You know how she is.
14:41I do.
14:42Mama pressed me to see if me and you had had sex.
14:46Huh?
14:47Yeah.
14:48Like, that was crazy.
14:49That lady be so out of line.
14:51It's just ridiculous.
14:52Like, she need to quit worrying about people's sex life, first of all.
14:56We're about her and Chris.
14:59But I really think that friendship, building a friendship is important first.
15:03Because, like, if I'm dating, I'm dating multiple people.
15:06Like, and again, that does not mean being intimate.
15:09Because people confuse that.
15:11Um, Miss Nell being one of them.
15:13Does that bother you dating other people?
15:15Nah.
15:16It's just, I know how I move.
15:18Like, building friendships and everything.
15:20That makes it a whole lot easier to deal with.
15:22You know, a woman possibly dating around or whatever.
15:25Somebody might ask you out.
15:26And I'm like, okay, cool.
15:29Yeah.
15:30I definitely need a person that can accept me for who I am.
15:33And I'm a lot of different people.
15:35That's crazy.
15:37It just turned into a horror movie.
15:38Just a thriller, real quick.
15:39It's not a horror movie.
15:40Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
15:41No, I think, I mean, a man that is with a woman that can be different women is,
15:45that's exciting.
15:46Yeah.
15:48To a certain extent.
15:50I mean, I'm not saying they all crazy.
15:52Maybe one of them.
15:53I don't know, man.
15:54It's like, as soon as your head start turning like them, I'm like, see?
15:58What I would like to do outside of business partners is build a friendship.
16:02This conversation.
16:03One of the times I've actually done security with you and you seem like you're cool.
16:06I appreciate it.
16:07Who would have known?
16:08I'd be sitting talking to Destiny Patton.
16:11Okay.
16:12Payton, not Patton.
16:14But I'm gonna give him a pass because I didn't even know what his name was at all for a long time.
16:18He was just the bodyguard.
16:19It's cool to get to know somebody I would have never even thought I would have had the chance to get to know so you definitely.
16:28Did I tell you that you look nice?
16:31Yeah.
16:32I did.
16:33Did I tell you you look nice?
16:34You did.
16:35I did?
16:36Mm-hmm.
16:38Uh-huh.
16:44Coming up on Love and Marriage Huntsville.
16:46You know, I took your advice on, you know, Marcel.
16:49So we, uh, said that with Chad a little bit.
16:51What?
16:52We don't deserve to be mistreated because we're having negative thoughts.
16:58I don't mistreat you or do anything wrong based off of what I've got going on in my brain
17:02or what somebody done did to me five, six, seven years ago.
17:16So Ken and I have been taking a little cool down since our last fight.
17:28Just trying to keep our distance from each other to keep frustration down.
17:31For one, I hate to see my kids hurt.
17:33And to see Xavier hurt is like, wow, okay.
17:38Trisha, you gotta do something.
17:40So I think it's time that I have a talk with Ken.
17:43Kenny!
17:50Yes, babe?
17:55Let's talk.
17:56What's going on?
17:58Let's talk about this issue we just had so we can get clarity on where it went left.
18:07Yeah, I definitely, I definitely think we need to have this conversation.
18:12These last few days been kinda...
18:14Stressful.
18:15Yeah, definitely stressful.
18:17I know we talk about all the things I need to work on and this wall, it seems like I have built up.
18:24I don't think no true effort has been put into actually making the proper changes that we need for our relationship to go forward.
18:35I think just lingers around.
18:37We talk about it.
18:38It just lingers and lingers and lingers and two months done went past and ain't nothing happened.
18:43I ultimately have no control.
18:45And when I don't have no control over my life, I don't like that.
18:48Do you want to be here?
18:49Do you want to be here?
18:55I was actually wanting to leave.
18:57Like, it's been stressful.
19:00It's been that stressful for me.
19:02But at the end of the day, there has to be a change in regards to the way I feel, the way people treat me, the things that are said to me.
19:11Like, it's always how you feel, how the kids feel.
19:15Ain't nobody ever put in a conscious effort about, hey, how does Ken feel?
19:22When I'm angry, when I'm frustrated, when I'm mad, y'all still get the same amount of type of love.
19:27When you're frustrated, you're angry, and you're mad, y'all might not even eat that day.
19:32Y'all don't even talk to me most of the time.
19:35And that sucks.
19:36And a lot of the time, the don't be having nothing to do with me.
19:39I don't mistreat you or do anything wrong based off of what I've got going on in my brain or what somebody done did to me five, six, seven years ago.
19:48Ken, sometimes you will reflect off the energy like it does have something to do with you.
19:53And sometimes I just be quiet in a zone just thinking about life.
19:57I don't even be having an attitude sometimes.
19:59Sometimes I just talk.
20:00But sometimes you will take it as an attitude.
20:02Well, we been past that.
20:03I'm talking about the actual, when the actual anger does come out.
20:08When you're actually snapping at people.
20:11Those are the moments where we have those disagreements.
20:13That's because the energy in the house has changed.
20:15Because of you.
20:16No.
20:17That's the thing.
20:18But sometimes it be just because I just be sitting there quiet.
20:19OK.
20:20And then I come off, oh, she's mad or something.
20:22No.
20:23I'm just thinking.
20:24We don't deserve to be mistreated because we're having negative thoughts.
20:29You know what I'm saying?
20:30I can't do that.
20:31So we have to be able to control our emotions.
20:34We have to be able to, even when we're having those emotions, be able to operate in them
20:39in a positive way.
20:40And we have to control our aggressions.
20:45So what happens from here?
20:48Because like I said, even now, like right now, like we can't have, even in this conversation
20:56it's showing that we can't have the conversation without it being a back and forth.
20:59I think a lot of the frustrations in our relationship stem from things that I have nothing to do with.
21:05And I think your personal trauma shouldn't be allowed to determine the way you treat other people.
21:10What fueled you to be like in the gym so heavy?
21:13Anger.
21:15I think I was mad at the world.
21:17I was mad at life.
21:18I was, you know, mad at life that was taken from me.
21:21Yeah, my mom and dad passed seven months apart.
21:23My sister passed in my hands.
21:25Zarya's sitting there watching me, trying to pump life into her.
21:29I'm trying to pump life into her.
21:31So it was, it was hard.
21:32I'm sorry, Trish.
21:35When I disappeared, I disappeared from the world.
21:39I think I disappeared from myself.
21:40I understand what Trish has went through in her past.
21:44And I'm trying so hard to kind of continue to be patient.
21:48But if she doesn't get the help and the proper therapy that she needs,
21:51yeah, it's probably definitely not going to work for us.
21:54Okay, so where do we start?
21:56Um, what do, like, what steps do we need to take?
22:01It has to be some change as far as, like, therapy.
22:09I mean, I think I've been pretty damn patient with this .
22:12It's been three years.
22:13But that's something that you have to take the lead on.
22:17I personally, man, I can't keep getting beat over the head for some I ain't do.
22:22I can't go another six months going through this .
22:25If there's no actions taking place, it's not going to change.
22:28Coming up on Love & Marriage Huntsville.
22:34I want to thank you for being willing to trust me, a total stranger,
22:41with the private parts of your life.
22:44Who is Trisha?
22:46I think I'm, I don't know, a very angry soul right now.
22:49There is a difference between an angry person and an angry soul.
22:53This is some good stuff.
23:15Hey.
23:16Honey.
23:17You knocking now?
23:18Yeah.
23:19What are you up to?
23:20Trying to see what the kids are doing.
23:22Mmm.
23:23Like, stuff they completed, like, their work, and if it's on time.
23:27Some, uh, Lance Riley made it.
23:28Oh, my God.
23:29Yeah.
23:30I really don't want to go out there.
23:31I'm kind of, like, trying to let him do his thing.
23:32No.
23:33Come on.
23:34Let's check it out and see what he doing.
23:35Because I'm sure there's some more to be done.
23:36And you might want to tell him why he has the guys here so they hear it and he hears it, too.
23:40Lance has finally stopped by the daycare to squeeze his sweet mother in, get some work done, considering that he's giving me a discount.
23:57I think that's why I get put on a, uh, back burner.
24:01Uh, I'm not paying full price like, um, the rest of his customers.
24:07But he need to complete my job soon.
24:10I just want to make sure everything gonna be right.
24:12I want to make sure I'm gonna have my trimming around here.
24:15I want to make sure you're gonna paint that back blue.
24:18Well, wipe it down first, then paint it back blue.
24:20This gonna be sand down really well.
24:23Running smooth, of course.
24:24Right.
24:25And then paint it.
24:26Yeah.
24:27How long is it gonna take to actually get this done?
24:29This will take me two, two full-on nights.
24:31I can't say days.
24:32Of course, we gotta work at night, right?
24:33Okay.
24:34Okay.
24:35So in two days, we'll knock this out.
24:36You need to step up here, so...
24:38What up, what up?
24:39What's up, Marty Marr?
24:40What's up there?
24:41Got wet walls, baby.
24:42Oh, ain't no touching.
24:43What's happening?
24:44I saw y'all cars out here.
24:45I sent them to stop behind y'all.
24:46You working, too?
24:47Well, this...
24:48I'm in here giving orders.
24:49You know, it's my business.
24:50Well, Lance, well, you do everything.
24:51That's what I'm talking about.
24:52What you doing up here?
24:53What isn't it?
24:54Yeah, good to see you.
24:55Parking up over at the, um, investment property.
24:57Oh.
24:58Okay.
24:59Or maybe, you know...
25:00Oh, you and Marcel have been acting.
25:01I thought maybe you wanted to come by this daycare.
25:03You know what?
25:04Well, he'll be right here behind me, then.
25:06How's it going for you, the investment property?
25:08Moving my old lady in there.
25:09Oh, okay.
25:10So Arion gonna move in?
25:11Yeah.
25:12Her and the kids, yeah.
25:13Okay.
25:14Yeah.
25:15All right.
25:16Yeah.
25:17So you ain't making no profit or nothing?
25:19No.
25:20You ain't making a profit.
25:21You got Arion in there.
25:23Oh.
25:24Oh, well, hey, really, because I've been paying that rent forever.
25:28I over here ain't got no mortgage.
25:30You know what I'm saying?
25:31Oh, so you paying the rent where she at now?
25:33Uh, yeah.
25:34Oh, hell yeah.
25:35Move my ass in.
25:36I said I'm winning, winning right now.
25:37God dang it.
25:38Yeah.
25:39Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
25:40Yeah.
25:41I'm gonna get in here with my team.
25:42Look.
25:43I ain't finished my work first.
25:44That's why I'm here.
25:45You know, I took your advice on meeting up with Marcel.
25:48Oh, what?
25:49So we, uh, said that with chat a little bit.
25:51Yeah, man.
25:52Was it like a...
25:53We came to...
25:54Positive?
25:55Very positive.
25:56You know, he tried to do a lot of talking.
26:01But I think that was the first time I ever out-talked him.
26:03Oh, really?
26:04Whoa.
26:05I...
26:06Damn.
26:07Really?
26:08I out-talked him.
26:09Did you have a drink?
26:10I did not.
26:11He was over there trying to look pretty with a cigar.
26:13I was straight there just...
26:14Does it look pretty?
26:15Yeah, he tried, but...
26:16But-but-but at the end, you know, we came to an agreement.
26:20We don't talk negative about each other, nor our significant others.
26:24So that-that's the-that's the agreement we got.
26:27You know?
26:28Um...
26:29I mean, I-I guess as time progressed, we'll just see how the relationship builds, though.
26:33You know what I'm saying?
26:34That-that's the agreement.
26:35That's a hell of agreement.
26:36No, I mean, it-I mean, it's doable.
26:38But that's-but that's just between you and Marcel, right?
26:41I can see that.
26:42Yeah.
26:43Arianne and Latisha haven't talked.
26:45They haven't-it's gonna-
26:46Females are different.
26:47That's what I'm saying.
26:48Hey, it is.
26:49So-so my thing is, hopefully Marcel and I will be able to see eye to eye.
26:52Eye to eye.
26:53Yes.
26:54And, um, if or when Tisha and Arianne do talk, I mean, if they do have their words,
26:59we-we're there to, you know...
27:00Diffuse the situation.
27:01Yeah, diffuse it and-and calm them down, you know?
27:03Yeah.
27:04But that's good.
27:05Y'all-y'all did come to a, um, happy medium, I would say.
27:07Yeah.
27:08Yeah.
27:09So to hear that Martell has made up with the Scots, um, is very huge.
27:14I know because I've had my problems with them and they all are stubborn as hell, even Martell.
27:21So for me, I'm pretty impressed.
27:23If that's the case, then I feel like maybe-maybe we should do something else.
27:27Get the group together.
27:28Something to-to maybe have some fun-
27:30Some fun activities.
27:31No, so-so we don't want to start no more drama.
27:34So I'm happy that, you know, Marcel and I, that we're okay.
27:38But, you know, there's a lot of issues still going on amongst the group.
27:42Ken, his old lady, Neal, and Tisha.
27:46I'm just happy they meet.
27:48Who play some adult games, some type of adult games or something.
27:51Adult games as in sexual type?
27:53Not that kind.
27:54Regular games, you know.
27:55Card games?
27:56Yeah, a card game or-
27:57Oh, okay, okay.
27:58There's nothing too challenging that's gonna get people all riled up.
28:00Right.
28:01It's just fun.
28:02Some people have a lot of fun.
28:03Well, I'm about to get up out of here, and I guess I'll be seeing y'all at game night.
28:07Game night.
28:08Y'all put it on.
28:09It's gonna be sooner than later.
28:10Oh, we'll put it-
28:11Yeah, we're gonna do it.
28:12For sure, for sure.
28:13All right.
28:14Are you gonna talk to Tisha?
28:17About what?
28:18Whatever y'all got going on.
28:19I ain't got going on.
28:20That's just the thing.
28:21Oh, it's just her?
28:22The only thing I said is she need to keep my name out of her mouth.
28:25That's the same thing that I've been tripping onto.
28:27Five years.
28:28Martell has actually made up with Marceau, and they both pretty damn messy.
28:36So now we just have to see what happens next.
28:40You ain't talking about your , you ain't talking about mine.
28:42That's real easy.
28:43That's very easy.
28:44Don't be scared to put your out there.
28:46Exactly.
28:47Because if you don't, I am.
28:48Exactly.
28:49Side chick number two coming.
28:50No.
28:51Tell them if y'all want to.
28:53Coming up on Love & Mary's Huntsville, do you know it takes strength to grieve?
28:58And if you don't do your grief work, people who are dependent on you, then they don't
29:02get the opportunity to get close to you.
29:05I don't want to get close to people and lose them.
29:06I don't like resurfacing any pain, anger, sadness, thoughts, memories.
29:10Any of that.
29:11I just like to keep it bottled up.
29:13But I do recognize that there are things that I need to fix.
29:14I don't like resurfacing any pain, anger, sadness, thoughts, memories.
29:18Any of that.
29:19I just like to keep it bottled up.
29:20But I do recognize that there are things that I need to fix when I get angry.
29:27Because that's the pattern I want to break.
29:36Good evening.
29:37Good evening.
29:38Good evening.
29:39Welcome.
29:40Thanks.
29:41You look a little bit shaky a little bit.
29:42Okay.
29:43I know.
29:44I feel like the stomach's all Δα»εͺ λ.
29:46I know.
29:47I know Jericho's not gonna feel.
29:49All right.
29:50Good evening.
29:52Good evening.
29:53Welcome.
29:54Thanks.
29:55You look a little bit shaken there,
29:57but it's going to be all right.
29:58Please have a seat right over here, OK?
30:01OK.
30:02Oh.
30:03My name is Kitsu Francis.
30:05I'm Trisha.
30:06Trisha, all right.
30:07I want to thank you for being willing to trust me,
30:12a total stranger, with the private parts of your life,
30:17you know?
30:18And we're going to work our way through this, all right?
30:22Where would you like to start?
30:24I just feel like the last...
30:27You feel like?
30:28The last 10, 12 years' life has just been a rollercoaster going down.
30:38How would you describe this emotional rollercoaster?
30:42I think it all started when I lost my parents and my sister.
30:47First, it was...
30:50I don't know. I was just angry with life,
30:54because the family kind of... kind of fell apart.
30:58We were very, very close.
31:00The whole family...
31:02Well, when they were here.
31:04How many siblings do you have?
31:11That's five of us.
31:13Five?
31:14Out of all people who are left, who's the leader?
31:22I would say me.
31:24I don't know. I guess...
31:25I think all of us felt lost.
31:30All of us felt lost when?
31:32When we lost my dad.
31:34It was like we...
31:35I don't know.
31:36It was like we...
31:37We lost our drill sergeant.
31:39You lost your drill sergeant?
31:40It was...
31:41But, you know, but...
31:42But, Chesh, you know...
31:43You know...
31:44You know, drill sergeants are not always nice though.
31:45They take...
31:46Get up at five o'clock in the morning.
31:47They do all kinds of things.
31:48Well, he was.
31:49He did.
31:50He did.
31:51He was retired military.
31:52Oh.
31:53He was our everything.
31:56And how close were you to your dad?
31:58Well...
31:59Very.
32:00Very?
32:01My dad was actually my best friend.
32:03Are you like your dad?
32:04Oh, yeah.
32:05I try to be.
32:06I always wanted to be like that guy.
32:08I think we all did.
32:09What if I told you that you succeeded in that, doing that?
32:12As much as I love my dad...
32:15I think we all did.
32:20What if I told you that you succeeded in that, doing that?
32:24As much as I love my dad...
32:27I think a part of my anger...
32:30comes from him, too.
32:33Are you willing to talk about that part?
32:36I feel like...
32:39he tried to teach us all these rules in life.
32:45And how to be great people.
32:49And represent him in the world.
32:55And everything is just...
32:59I didn't understand until I got older.
33:01Do as I say it, not as I do.
33:04He didn't follow what he was trying to teach us.
33:07And tell us.
33:09Otherwise, he was still here.
33:11Oh, he didn't follow through.
33:14It angers me sometimes.
33:16How did you let him know you were angry?
33:18I didn't...
33:19I didn't process all of it until he was gone.
33:25Like, why didn't you...
33:27I don't know.
33:32If you knew that while he was alive, did you ask him then?
33:37No, but I would have.
33:39I didn't think about it then.
33:41How are you feeling about you not asking him then,
33:44as you're sitting right here?
33:46It's part of failure that I think about.
33:49Part of failure?
33:52So what does it feel like then for you to be the one that they are dependent on?
34:05I'm okay with it.
34:08It's just...
34:12I'm okay with being strong for everyone.
34:14I think I'm, I don't know, a very angry soul right now.
34:18You're angry?
34:19My grief turns to anger.
34:21That's the problem.
34:22And when your grief turns to anger, what do you do with the anger?
34:25Where do you put it?
34:26How do you act it out?
34:27I go to the gym.
34:28And when you go to the gym...
34:30I redirect my pain.
34:33You redirect your pain?
34:34From mental to physical.
34:36From mental to physical.
34:37So how many days do you go to the gym?
34:40Every day.
34:41Every day.
34:42Ooh.
34:43So...
34:45So when you're done at the gym, how do you feel?
34:51Exhausted.
34:52Tired sometimes.
34:53And then you either go back to it in the morning or you take it home with you.
34:57Which one do you do?
35:01Sometimes it...
35:03It comes back home with you.
35:04It comes back home with you.
35:06You know why it comes back home with you?
35:08Because there is a difference between...
35:10Between externalizing.
35:11Putting something out.
35:12Touching things.
35:13Moving some ways.
35:15But it's always...
35:19Here.
35:20So you really don't leave it at the gym.
35:23What you do is to go act out your bitterness at the gym.
35:26And because the gym does not have a way of arguing with you, it's a safe place for you to act out this anger.
35:39There is a difference between an angry person and an angry soul.
35:44Why?
35:45Because a person can be anything out here, but your soul is like right inside of here.
35:50And this is where your anger is like right inside of here.
35:55And so...
36:01Let's go ahead and just take your time.
36:03And this is where my anger is like right inside of here.
36:04That's what we try to do.
36:05We don't have to do.
36:06We don't have to do something.
36:07We don't have to do anything.
36:08We don't have to do anything.
36:09We don't have to do anything.
36:10This is where I hurt my anger.
36:11I'm sorry.
36:13I'm sorry.
36:14What's the difference?
36:15That's why I'm sorry.
36:16I'm sorry.
36:17I'm sorry.
36:18I'm sorry.
36:19You did a song.
36:20I was sorry.
36:21And I'm sorry.
36:22I'm sorry.
36:23LikeΡΠ°Π²ΡΡΠ²ΡΠΉΡΠ΅, you're wrong.
36:24And so...
36:25Let's go ahead and let's take your time.
36:31Just take your time.
36:49OK.
36:54I'm just angry and tired.
36:57There are reasons why you are tired.
37:01Why you are angry.
37:03And that's what we're looking for.
37:05Oh, no.
37:06I guess life happenings is just a lot.
37:10Do you know it takes strength to breathe?
37:16It also requires you to get in touch with not just your strength,
37:20but your weakness.
37:24Not you.
37:25The strength and weakness is saying,
37:29I know who I am.
37:32I want to do something.
37:34I don't have the strength to do it.
37:36So I need a spotter.
37:38So you're in the gym, right?
37:40And you want to increase your strength and your power.
37:44And you need a spotter.
37:46They help you out in case you can't lift it.
37:49Well, I thought I had a spotter.
37:53He didn't turn out to be a spotter.
37:56He turned out to be a part of the loss, the pain, and the grief.
38:00My spotter was supposed to be my ex, Marquez.
38:04But obviously, he let the weights fall on me.
38:07So I just tend to just try it on my own.
38:12And if you don't do your grief work,
38:14people who are dependent on you to see your humane side,
38:19that soft side, if people never get to see that,
38:22they have a picture of you.
38:23And then when they don't help you,
38:25and because they think they don't have to,
38:27you might go away thinking that people don't help you.
38:30Why weren't you creating that?
38:31And they don't get the opportunity to get close to you.
38:34Yeah, I don't like getting close to people.
38:38You don't like getting close to people?
38:41I don't like to deal with,
38:43I don't want to get close to people and lose them.
38:46Yes.
38:47The degree of attachment that you have with a person
38:51will determine the degree of loss and pain you go through
38:55when they are no longer available.
38:57And you just basically came all the way back around
38:59and said, yes, that's what it is.
39:03It's definitely harder opening up in my relationship now.
39:08It's because, I don't know,
39:09I guess I just lost that trust in people.
39:13And here is the big thing that I'm going to ask you to do.
39:16If you can accomplish this,
39:18you would have accomplished a whole lot.
39:20It's very simple.
39:22It's going to require you to trust yourself,
39:26to trust somebody that you are emotionally close to.
39:34We're going to have to have some role reversal right here,
39:37so that they can or you will allow them to take care of you.
39:43Then you will begin to see the strength that lies in what
39:51you think is weakness.
39:56You're being very strong right now when you don't have to be.
40:00Maybe.
40:00I don't know.
40:03So Dr. Francis suggests that I allow more people to support me more.
40:07Maybe if I learn to lean on Ken and my family instead of doing it all by myself,
40:12I'll be less likely to lash out and be angry at everyone.
40:15But it's hard when I'm so used to helping and not receiving the help.
40:19Thank you for you to trust me with all of as much as you did.
40:27It was hard.
40:28It was hard.
40:31Next on Love and Marriage Huntsville.
40:34Ken, he moved and he stepped away for a little while.
40:38I hope that you trying to be more vulnerable with him.
40:44Destiny said you said keep my main out of your mouth.
40:47I did say that.
40:51Hello.
40:56So, Nell, why did you guys leave LA early?
40:58That's none of your business.
41:02I don't owe you anything.
41:04How much y'all know about Destiny?
41:05Good wholesome girl.
41:07Good wholesome girl?
41:07Yeah.
41:08That's not what I want to hear.
41:10No!
41:11Oh, what you want to hear?
41:12That's not me.
41:12CC down for the calls tonight.
41:14You got the one night to prove you're worth it.
41:18Hey, Nell, let me tell you something.
41:19What is this?
41:20I dumped your ass in that pool.
41:21You keep holling at me.
41:22You want me to tell you something.
41:23Nell, you want me to the .
41:26Keep holling at me.
41:27Keep holling at me.
41:28Keep holling at me.
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