- 2 months ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00:30It's amazing how filthy your room is when you are such an impressive vacuum.
00:00:42Good one.
00:00:43I ran into Jackie yesterday.
00:00:48Your friend Johnny, he sold her seaside apartment in under a week.
00:00:52He's not my friend.
00:00:53You know, he moved out of his parents' house when he graduated.
00:00:57Maybe he could be your mentor?
00:00:58I'm older than him.
00:00:59Exactly.
00:01:00You know what would make your flyer pop?
00:01:05I don't need a catchphrase.
00:01:06It's working for Johnny.
00:01:08Available eight days a week, starting today.
00:01:10You know, that actually defies 8,000 years of human history, but thank you.
00:01:14I hear he has a lovely girlfriend, too.
00:01:18An Italian.
00:01:19You need something to separate yourself from all the other schmoes out there.
00:01:23Something so people know they can trust you.
00:01:26Let's hear it.
00:01:28I'll treat your place like it's my own.
00:01:34Just don't show them your bedroom.
00:01:36Ma, I love you, but I do not need a catchphrase.
00:01:41Okay?
00:01:42I'm an adult.
00:01:44Can I borrow the car?
00:01:49This is at Ditmar's Boulevard bound, Annet Train.
00:01:56The next stop is Astoria Boulevard.
00:02:00What the fuck?
00:02:21Hello?
00:02:22Hello?
00:02:23Hello?
00:02:24Hello?
00:02:25Unbelievable.
00:02:26Hey, this is Ian Jensen.
00:02:49We have an open house today.
00:02:51It's in 10 minutes.
00:02:55Call me.
00:02:56Oh, fuck.
00:03:24Oh, come on.
00:03:25Oh, God.
00:03:26Hi!
00:03:27Here, Ian Jensen.
00:03:29Hey, let me show you around.
00:03:31This is the living room.
00:03:32As you can see, there's ample room for a couch and, uh, is there a room?
00:03:39You know what?
00:03:40I really want to show you the bedroom.
00:03:41Come on.
00:03:42Sorry about the mess.
00:03:43Uh, I was just finishing tidying up.
00:03:44Uh, as you can see, the bedroom is spacious.
00:03:46Uh, it has a lot of room for-
00:03:47Whoa!
00:03:48Uh, dude, what the fuck, dude?
00:03:49Don't what the fuck me, man.
00:03:50Where have you been?
00:03:51I've been right here, man.
00:03:52I've been right here, man.
00:03:53Yeah, I can see that.
00:03:54But we have the open house.
00:03:55Hey, thanks for the tour, but this is not the apartment I'm looking for.
00:03:56Dude, my battery must have died.
00:03:57I'm sorry, man.
00:03:58I'm sorry, man.
00:03:59I'm sorry, man.
00:04:00Oh, I'm sorry.
00:04:01I was just finishing tidying up.
00:04:02Uh, as you can see, the bedroom is spacious.
00:04:05It, uh, it has a lot of room for-
00:04:08Whoa!
00:04:09Ugh!
00:04:10Dude, what the fuck, dude?
00:04:11Don't what the fuck me, man.
00:04:12Where have you been?
00:04:13I've been right here, man.
00:04:15Yeah, I can see that, but we have the open house.
00:04:18Hey!
00:04:19Thanks for the tour, but this is not the apartment I'm looking for.
00:04:22Dude, my battery must have died.
00:04:25But we're in luck yeah, why is that my roommate must have cleaned the apartment
00:04:55Hi, welcome. Please take a look around. There's a sign in sheet right there. If you have any questions, I'd be more than happy to answer them.
00:05:05The place is newly refurnished, right by the NQR. Great schools. Any questions?
00:05:16No, no, no. I live in building. Come to see layout. My apartment bigger.
00:05:21Oh, okay. Well, hey, if you know anybody that might be interested, please take a flyer.
00:05:26Too small.
00:05:27Okay. Well, thank you for coming.
00:05:34Hey, welcome. If you have any qu- Johnny?
00:05:37Well, if it isn't Ian J.
00:05:40What are you doing here?
00:05:41This is an open house, correct? I have a client. Hey, take a look around while I catch up with my old friend here.
00:05:48What? So you're gonna try to steal this listing from me too?
00:05:52Buddy, let it go. They reached out to me. Besides, I would not associate myself with this apartment.
00:05:59Oh, well, seems to be good enough for your client.
00:06:01It's not. We're heading to that new development over on Steinway. He had to take a shit, so.
00:06:06Aw, come on.
00:06:07Hey, but check this out. Girlfriend's birthday last night. Shit got crazy.
00:06:13Cheese Italian?
00:06:16Still with Atlas, I see.
00:06:19Shall I send you regards?
00:06:21You can let them know that I am crushing it.
00:06:24See, a real estate entrepreneur like myself really needs to be their own boss.
00:06:29You might enjoy being a wacky for an outdated corporation.
00:06:33But that changes.
00:06:35Give me a call.
00:06:37There's room for one more in this wolf bag.
00:06:41Hey, we should get going.
00:06:48I think you're out of toilet paper.
00:06:50Oh.
00:07:07I mean, Williamsburg people are my people. Like, they're educated or just super smart.
00:07:22I'm not elitist, but they, like, care about the arts and what's going on in the world, which basically nobody else is doing.
00:07:28I just feel like if you don't live in Williamsburg and you're able to, then you're just probably not really a good person.
00:07:35Right, yeah. I pride myself on being a good person.
00:07:38Are you into the arts? Like, who do you support?
00:07:40Yeah, I, I mean, I saw the most recent Transformers movie knowing it wouldn't be very good.
00:07:46Like, I just went to this art exhibit. It was brilliant. Just brilliant. It was in Chelsea. So worth it. Tickets were like $200 or something like that.
00:07:55Yeah. I got comped. But, like, almost everyone else paid.
00:07:58Huh.
00:07:59And guess what was inside?
00:08:00Art.
00:08:01Dirt. Three massive piles of dirt. But not just any dirt. Like, one was collected from Syria, another from Afghanistan, and the third from an African country where there's a war going on.
00:08:11Wow. What, uh, what country was it?
00:08:14I don't remember. It was an open bar. But, like, what a message, right?
00:08:17Yeah.
00:08:18Like, things are really bad there, and I'm just glad I could do my part to be a part of the solution.
00:08:23Nice.
00:08:24So, what was it, like, a fundraiser? I mean, what do they do with the money?
00:08:28They opened a studio in Bushwick. I mean, just think of all they can do to get the message out now that they have their own space.
00:08:34Yeah, totally.
00:08:35Your profile didn't mention where you live.
00:08:37Oh. Um, you know, I live, I live pretty nearby.
00:08:42It's okay, you can finish your bite. I'm gonna head to the ladies' room.
00:08:45Okay.
00:08:46Woohoo! Things are going well. You gonna lie about where you live or ask mommy if you can have a sleepover?
00:08:59I do not want to talk to you right now.
00:09:01Now, Ian, I did not raise you to be a liar. She's gonna like you for who you are. So why don't you invite her over for Lasagna Thursday?
00:09:09All I'm saying is I absolutely need my own place because things at night get freaky.
00:09:15Hey, keep it to yourself, Johnny.
00:09:17Anal.
00:09:18I told you I don't want to hear it.
00:09:20What? I didn't say anything.
00:09:21Yeah, you did. You said anal.
00:09:23I won't deny things get hot on occasion. Look, all I'm saying is you may want to keep the living situation close to the peruvial chest.
00:09:32Whatever. I prefer the honest route.
00:09:35That's my boy.
00:09:36Yeah, that route pulling in the tail. Your calendar filled up. Who was the last lucky lady anyway?
00:09:43Amy.
00:09:44I've always liked Amy.
00:09:46You've stayed in touch with Amy since graduation?
00:09:49No. I haven't.
00:09:51My work here is done.
00:09:55Okay. What do I have to do?
00:09:57Open your binder to that place on Warhammer.
00:10:02There. The owners don't get back until Monday.
00:10:05It is right down the street.
00:10:07Listen, brother. It is not your fault that you were born to some family in New Jersey destined to be sounds intercourse for the next five years.
00:10:14I'm not gonna be living there for five years.
00:10:16I was being optimistic, buddy.
00:10:18Luckily for you, that terrace will do all of the heavy lifting.
00:10:22Oh, Ian, what a gorgeous terrace. This view is amazing.
00:10:28And it's so private.
00:10:30Nobody can see what you're doing.
00:10:33I wanna suck your...
00:10:35What's that?
00:10:36Nothing. Nothing. All this? This is just papers from work. I got some open houses lined up next week.
00:10:42So, when am I gonna see you on Million Dollar Listing?
00:10:45Ah, well, my agent is in talks with the producers right now, so...
00:10:48I love that show. There was an apartment in Tribeca where I considered, like, throwing myself at the buyer just to get up there.
00:10:54Huh.
00:10:55Just kidding. He was married.
00:10:56Huh.
00:10:57But he had a terrace the size of my bedroom.
00:11:00Oh. Well, actually, uh, I live on Lorimer, which is right here. And, uh, I got a terrace. Yeah.
00:11:10You know, I'm glad I didn't include it on my dating profile or else I wouldn't know if this date was for me or my apartment.
00:11:16You live on Lorimer. Mm-hmm.
00:11:18Very cool.
00:11:19Oh, thank you.
00:11:20Do you ever go out on your terrace and look at the other 8 million people in the world and just think how nice it would be with less people?
00:11:28Every day? Yeah, I just... Imagine if the city only had, like, 1 million people. I mean, the subways would actually be on time for once.
00:11:37And it would trip my morning line for coffee.
00:11:39Mm-hmm. Yeah. All lines. You know what? No lines would exist. It would be fantastic. It would be like an urban utopia.
00:11:44Every time I see a light go on in the distance, I say to myself, that's the asshole that's gonna get to SoulCycle before me and take the last bike in the front row and ruin my day.
00:11:52Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:11:54So, what do you say we wrap this up and get a drink in my place? We can hang out on my terrace and curse these people that are clogging up the city.
00:12:08Yeah.
00:12:12Okay, you can open your eyes.
00:12:14Oh, wow. This place could be a million dollar listing.
00:12:17Thank you. I got lucky finding it.
00:12:20Yeah.
00:12:22You want to go see the terrace?
00:12:24Yes, I do.
00:12:25All right.
00:12:33Oh, my God. What a gorgeous terrace. This view is amazing.
00:12:37Thank you very much.
00:12:38And it's so private.
00:12:40Mm-hmm.
00:12:41No one can really see what you're doing.
00:12:44I wanna...
00:12:45I wanna take a picture.
00:12:48Oh, oh, the view. Yeah, sure. I don't mind.
00:12:51Yeah, do it. Um...
00:12:52I'm gonna go pop this baby open.
00:12:54Okay.
00:12:55And I'll get us some glasses.
00:12:56Great.
00:12:57All right.
00:12:58Yeah.
00:13:11Hey, what's funny?
00:13:15Oh, just my friend being an idiot and offered to sign a rescue party.
00:13:19Huh?
00:13:20Well, I hope you told the party to stand down.
00:13:23They're awaiting further instruction.
00:13:25All right.
00:13:27Why don't you tell them to come by, and I think I can win them over.
00:13:30And give up some of our champagne? I'd rather make the wrong decision.
00:13:41Oh, home sweet home.
00:13:57Oh, look, your mom sent me another card.
00:14:00Some holiday I don't know about.
00:14:04It's a thank you card.
00:14:06For my thank you card.
00:14:08Does it ever end?
00:14:09Mm-mm.
00:14:18Did you have someone over here?
00:14:21No.
00:14:22You mean you drank this bottle all by yourself?
00:14:25No.
00:14:26Who is he?
00:14:27No, I mean I've never seen that bottle before.
00:14:29Oh, the champagne fairy strikes again.
00:14:33You mean you're not prepared to tell me about your other boyfriend?
00:14:36Who is in our bed?
00:14:40And he's bi.
00:14:42Hi, sorry. He didn't tell me he had a roommate.
00:14:45Ian, wake up.
00:14:46Ian?
00:14:47Who's Ian?
00:14:48It's our realtor. Oh my God.
00:14:49What's our realtor doing in our bed?
00:14:51That's not your bed, Ian. That's our bed.
00:14:53I'm really sorry. Listen, I just, I didn't think you were going to be back for a week.
00:14:57You don't live here?
00:14:59Um, not exactly.
00:15:00Where do you live?
00:15:01Listen, uh, let me just talk to them real quick.
00:15:03Hey, hey, hey, listen, I'm sorry.
00:15:04I just, I invited her over just to show her the terrace and we had a drink and, you know, one thing led to another, okay?
00:15:09Is it Bushwick? Do you live in Bushwick? I mean, maybe that could work.
00:15:12I think I want my keys back.
00:15:13And our bed.
00:15:14I'm sorry. Look, I really messed up. I did. Just, please, don't take the listing from me.
00:15:17Is it Queens?
00:15:18Do you live in Queens?
00:15:19Do you live in Queens? I heard things are kind of cool there now.
00:15:21You heard right, darling.
00:15:22No, no, no, no. This is, this is not consensual. You can't just bring girls back to my apartment.
00:15:27No, I know. Just give me a week, alright?
00:15:28Where do you live?
00:15:29I live in New Jersey!
00:15:33With my parents.
00:15:34Oh, hell no.
00:15:35I know, I know. I, I...
00:15:37I mean, it's big. It looks like I have my own apartment.
00:15:39The size of your apartment should be the least of your worries.
00:15:42I faked my orgasm.
00:15:45Both of them?
00:15:46Yes.
00:15:47Oh, there, there. Drink this. This will make you feel better.
00:15:59Sometimes I wish I could fake an orgasm.
00:16:01As if.
00:16:03So Brandon and I were talking, and we agreed that you can keep the listing.
00:16:08You mean it?
00:16:10Hey, everybody makes mistakes, right?
00:16:11Oh, my God.
00:16:12Like dating women, for one.
00:16:13Oh!
00:16:14Thank you so, so much.
00:16:16Listen, I, I promise I will, I will treat this place like it's my own.
00:16:19Uh, no, no, actually don't do, don't do that.
00:16:23Oh, no, no, no, that's not what I meant. That, that's just, that's my slogan.
00:16:26No, but you need to get a new one.
00:16:27Seriously.
00:16:28Yeah.
00:16:29I promise to not have sex in your bed.
00:16:32That works.
00:16:34Yes.
00:16:35Good morning.
00:16:40How did Poochie sleep?
00:16:43Good morning, how did Poochie sleep?
00:17:03Sorry about last night.
00:17:08You passed out in under five seconds.
00:17:12And I have plenty of energy now.
00:17:14Oh, the romance.
00:17:26Not again.
00:17:27That Scottish idolizing bastard.
00:17:30Want some music?
00:17:32It won't work.
00:17:35Bagpipes operate on an unstoppable frequency.
00:17:42How's the day looking?
00:17:48Oh, I shouldn't be too late.
00:17:51I want to remake my new creation of it.
00:17:54Yeah, some kind of eclair, right?
00:17:57It's as if a croissant and an eclair had a baby, but with lighter cream.
00:18:03Well, if it's half as popular as the cronut, we can buy this place and I can be your assistant.
00:18:09We've tried that.
00:18:11You don't follow directions.
00:18:13That measuring cup was in Spanish.
00:18:15But I can design a website to handle all your international orders.
00:18:22What?
00:18:23So no line of people forming at 6am?
00:18:26People will love you for it.
00:18:28You can declare it the anti-cronut.
00:18:30I was thinking crew Claire.
00:18:35Fluffy eclair.
00:18:37Not quite.
00:18:38It's missing something.
00:18:41Fluffy nuggets.
00:18:43I don't think we need the word fluffy in the title.
00:18:47Fluffy will sell.
00:18:48Trust me.
00:18:50Hi, Shawn.
00:18:51Hi, Samantha.
00:18:52Do you have a minute?
00:18:53Ah, you stay.
00:18:54I'm a bit late.
00:18:55We'll see you tonight, though, and maybe I'll have a fluffy sweet roll waiting for you.
00:19:00Hey, man.
00:19:02What's up?
00:19:04The new cameras are installed.
00:19:06That one's high definition.
00:19:08Keeps an eye on the mailboxes.
00:19:10Cool.
00:19:11I'll be sure to get my best behavior in a walkthrough.
00:19:14The reason why I mentioned that was because we, as a board, have decided that an assessment
00:19:20was necessary to pay for these enhancements.
00:19:22I saw the Facebook update on it.
00:19:24Totally on board with the board.
00:19:26Uh, your last payment, uh, was the old amount.
00:19:30Oh, I got you.
00:19:32I'll update the amount tonight for sure.
00:19:34Uh, you have a package.
00:19:36Oh, nice.
00:19:38I'll grab it on my way back.
00:19:40Enjoy the day, man.
00:19:44Everything is fun.
00:19:46преклонation of the Father's Day
00:19:47Michael.
00:19:48What is your user's name?
00:19:49I do,ença.
00:19:50Of course, this has been barks.
00:19:51It's a different smell.
00:19:53Tell me, it's a vegan beer so much.
00:19:55Mrление.
00:19:57Yeah, hey, let's try it.
00:20:00I don't know they're some amazing test in one of these days.
00:20:02Hushed.
00:20:03I was born asleep, but it was a nice place where I lost the back of my eyes.
00:20:08It was sunny outside, so I could've seen you.
00:20:10I lost my head by the sun in my eyes.
00:20:12um
00:20:16so
00:20:24and
00:20:29and
00:20:32okay
00:20:38Thanks for coming up.
00:20:43You didn't grab my package.
00:20:46No.
00:20:47All I saw down there was this.
00:20:50Can you show me how to access the security camera footage?
00:20:53Sure.
00:20:54I'm pretty sure somebody grabbed it by mistake.
00:20:57I knew I should have grabbed that package.
00:21:00You know, Michelle and 2E had a package stolen last week.
00:21:04But that was before we installed the cameras.
00:21:07Anything valuable?
00:21:09Not anything too expensive.
00:21:10Not sure what their policy is on stolen packages though.
00:21:16What floor is this guy on?
00:21:18He doesn't look familiar.
00:21:24Ha!
00:21:25There!
00:21:26What?
00:21:27Who the?
00:21:28Is he actually opening my package in the lobby?
00:21:33Veer Spankin'?
00:21:37Um...
00:21:42Uh...
00:21:43Yeah.
00:21:44It was a bit of an impulse buy.
00:21:47It's actually...
00:21:49Well...
00:21:50It's a...
00:21:52It's a sex toy.
00:21:53For men.
00:21:54For your butt?
00:21:56No man, not for my butt.
00:21:58It's a toy that, you know, you would use to...
00:22:01Jerk off.
00:22:04It has a video.
00:22:05I hope not.
00:22:06The second time...
00:22:08It was one who has this...
00:22:09Let's go hang out.
00:22:10One is better!
00:22:11And the way, it slipped from herlevel...
00:22:12So as long as she would have been moved, you know,
00:22:14theotrow course tekrar...
00:22:17It went off for men�aki, and to add a little supply about mujer to a man and go...
00:22:20It's about missing from his left eye.
00:22:21So, uh, do I need to call the police and file a report?
00:22:44I don't think they deploy a task force to recover your van spunked.
00:22:51Versus Spankin'.
00:23:03That guy does look familiar.
00:23:05He probably lives nearby.
00:23:07Let me see that card.
00:23:15Robin Hood 2020 coming to you again.
00:23:17We got another package here.
00:23:19You know, I rot from the rich and give to you, all my fans and followers.
00:23:24This package is courtesy of Mike Miller from 420 Bedford Avenue.
00:23:31Let's see what he got.
00:23:33Or shall I say, let's see what you get.
00:23:35Holy shit.
00:23:36This guy just steals packages and isn't made a YouTube channel about it.
00:23:40He has over 6,342,000 subscribers.
00:23:47What?
00:23:48Are you kidding?
00:23:49I don't want 6 million people knowing I ordered a sex toy.
00:23:52I need to stop this guy before he makes his next video.
00:23:57Can you zoom in on his face?
00:24:03Power of high definition.
00:24:04Power of high definition.
00:24:06Come down!
00:24:07Yah.
00:24:08O
00:24:23Hey! Don't touch those!
00:24:53I'm so sorry.
00:25:03I'm so sorry.
00:25:09I'm so sorry.
00:25:13Oh
00:25:39Hi, hun
00:25:40Yeah, I'll be home in a minute
00:25:45Hi, hun. Hi. These look delicious. Have we decided on fluffy nuggets yet?
00:25:50That's still undecided. You can try one. I've decided to explore the opinions of people who are not my boyfriend.
00:25:57I give unbiased opinions. Always have.
00:26:01And these?
00:26:03This guy steals something from us or...?
00:26:05Yeah! That guy stole my package and Todd was able to send me this photo from the camera feed in the lobby.
00:26:11Taking matters into your own hands, I see.
00:26:15Seems the police won't investigate theft below $100, so I inserted myself into the situation.
00:26:21What got you so motivated?
00:26:24That's a funny story.
00:26:27Go on.
00:26:29Um, it's actually something called a Verspankin'. It's a sex toy.
00:26:35No, really?
00:26:39Well, thanks, but I'm pretty sure mine just needs new batteries, so...
00:26:45Yeah...
00:26:47Um...
00:26:48It's actually for guys.
00:26:53For your butt?
00:26:54No, it's not for my butt. Why does everyone think that?
00:26:57No, it's...
00:26:58Well, it's hard to explain. There is a video, but it's not for my butt.
00:27:01A video? Wait, what do you mean everyone?
00:27:04Todd was also confused about it.
00:27:08Todd!
00:27:09I'm glad you're so comfortable sharing, but perhaps we keep things related to our sex life to ourselves?
00:27:17Absolutely!
00:27:18It's not that I was oversharing, but he was helping me access the...
00:27:21Well, he pried it out of me!
00:27:24Maybe not the best choice of words.
00:27:27I have to head to the board meeting.
00:27:29I just know that if Jennifer likes these, she'll mention it to her sister, the one with the blog.
00:27:34I eat my happiness?
00:27:35No, it's called Happy Eats.
00:27:38I'm just gonna grab one more before you go.
00:27:41No, no.
00:27:42Jennifer didn't get one last time, so this time I'm bringing one for everyone.
00:27:47But maybe if you water the plants, you won't be missing that for spent after all.
00:27:53For spankin'.
00:27:55Yeah, that.
00:27:56Bye.
00:27:59Coming!
00:28:14What did Poochie forget?
00:28:18Hi, Evan.
00:28:19Come in.
00:28:20Thanks for coming.
00:28:21We're just waiting on Samantha to get started.
00:28:34Hi Todd.
00:28:35Well, hello there.
00:28:36Hello there to you too.
00:28:37I know the last night wasn't too...
00:28:38No, no.
00:28:39It was fun.
00:28:40I'm sorry I didn't stay.
00:28:41I just really love my bed and it's a surprisingly easy walk home.
00:28:42Yeah, that's very true.
00:28:43I am slowly getting used to having the whole bed to myself as well.
00:28:57Yeah.
00:28:58Well, it's a nice adjustment, trust me.
00:28:59Yeah.
00:29:00Hey guys, I come bearing gifts.
00:29:02Splendid.
00:29:03Splendid.
00:29:04These look good.
00:29:05Are these chocolate eclairs?
00:29:06Uh, no, it's a new creation.
00:29:09I'm thinking of calling them fluffy nuggets.
00:29:10Branding is very important.
00:29:11Mmm.
00:29:12Oh yeah, these look really good.
00:29:13Okay, Anna?
00:29:14Oh, what?
00:29:15What?
00:29:16What?
00:29:17What?
00:29:18What?
00:29:19What?
00:29:20What?
00:29:21What?
00:29:22What?
00:29:23What?
00:29:24What?
00:29:25What?
00:29:26Oh, it's a new creation.
00:29:27It's a new creation.
00:29:28I'm thinking of calling them fluffy nuggets.
00:29:29Branding is very important.
00:29:34Mmm.
00:29:35Oh my God, you are very good.
00:29:38Anna?
00:29:39Oh, no.
00:29:40I can't.
00:29:41But Evan can have mine.
00:29:42Oh, perfect.
00:29:43I'd be happy to share the recipe on your sisters blog if you like them.
00:29:48Oh yeah, I'll try one in just a second.
00:29:49I just want to bring the board meeting into order.
00:29:51We have a few things to cover, including interviewing somebody for the new doorman position.
00:29:56That'll be good to have. Another package was stolen from the lobby earlier today.
00:30:00Again?
00:30:02Sean had something stolen.
00:30:04Oh no, what was it?
00:30:06It's nothing important, just something he ordered online.
00:30:10Did the cameras pick it up?
00:30:12Yes. Power of high definition.
00:30:14Have you posted the picture on the building's Facebook page? People should be on alert in case he returns.
00:30:18Sure.
00:30:19And speaking of unsavory people in our building, I would like to raise the issue of people renting out their apartments on Airbnb.
00:30:25Who's renting out their apartments?
00:30:27Naveen in 2B for one. He has somebody new in there every week, and I just can't get comfortable with strangers in the building.
00:30:37Oh, that must be our guy.
00:30:41Everyone, this is Vladimir.
00:30:44You can call me Vlad.
00:30:49Thank you for coming.
00:30:53Yes.
00:30:57I see you come with a lot of experience.
00:30:59Perhaps you can start by telling us what interested you in this position.
00:31:03Being a doorman in Manhattan is a young man's game.
00:31:07Your job post mentioned a chair.
00:31:14I will happily come to Williamsburg for the occasional sitting in the chair.
00:31:21Um, I see you worked in the Dakota in the late 70s.
00:31:27I can only imagine those stories.
00:31:29Which I will take to the grave.
00:31:31A doorman who shares his secrets is no better than...
00:31:36I'm not sure who that could possibly be.
00:31:38Not sure what your plans are later, but I was thinking about going out to the...
00:31:42Hey, what is she doing here?
00:31:44Hi everyone, so sorry I'm late.
00:31:46Can we, uh, pause for a minute? Can we talk?
00:31:52You flirting with Anna already? That didn't take long.
00:32:04What? How are you doing here?
00:32:05I'm still a member of the board.
00:32:06Yeah, you moved out.
00:32:07So what? My name is on the mortgage and I want to protect my investment.
00:32:10I told you I would buy your half.
00:32:12Okay, when we finalize the price and you pay me my half, I will gladly step down.
00:32:17Sorry I'm late, everyone.
00:32:21Do you have another chair?
00:32:23We didn't think you were coming.
00:32:24Um, or else I would have grabbed another chair from the other room.
00:32:27Just wait one second.
00:32:29Excuse me.
00:32:34Would you mind sitting on this?
00:32:36It shouldn't be a long meeting.
00:32:38Happy to work out my core while I'm here.
00:32:42Okay.
00:32:44Sorry about that.
00:32:45We were just interviewing Vlad about the new doorman position.
00:32:48Great.
00:32:49Hello.
00:32:50So, perhaps you can tell us what you think your experience can bring to 190 Lorimer.
00:32:55I have not lost single package in 30 years.
00:33:00I remember names with a handshake, and I know when to look the other way.
00:33:07I feel extra responsible for residents, like parent.
00:33:12I once flushed coke down toilet faster than I can say to officer.
00:33:17What coke?
00:33:18That's sugar.
00:33:19I saved him a lot of trouble.
00:33:22There was a time I deliver baby in lobby.
00:33:26Not so common in this country, no?
00:33:30It was boy.
00:33:32Which is better than girl.
00:33:35Are you two fucking?
00:33:36What the hell, Tracy?
00:33:37Not appropriate at all.
00:33:38Yeah, Evan and I are not involved at all.
00:33:39I want Evan to tell me that.
00:33:40Go ahead.
00:33:41This is not the appropriate time to have this conversation.
00:33:42Besides, you moved out.
00:33:43I will lose my shit right now if you don't answer me.
00:33:44Just so we can move on.
00:33:45Nobody, Anna included, has slept with me.
00:33:49I just thought when I...
00:33:51Sorry about that.
00:33:52Just been a crazy few weeks is all.
00:33:53I just thought when I...
00:33:54Sorry about that.
00:33:55Just been a crazy few weeks is all.
00:33:56I just thought when I...
00:33:57Sorry about that.
00:33:58I don't mean to be insensitive, but don't you think Evan would simply lie given the circumstances?
00:34:19He can't lie.
00:34:21Like physically, his right eyebrow twitches anytime he lies.
00:34:24I have no reason to lie!
00:34:26Now, can we please move past this ridiculous scene that you were causing?
00:34:32You are saying?
00:34:35In this job, you are constantly learning and growing.
00:34:40Are you trying to be slick?
00:34:41What is it now?
00:34:42You said nobody had slept with you.
00:34:44Yeah, so?
00:34:45Nice try.
00:34:46Answer me this.
00:34:47Have you and Anna had sex?
00:34:48I have already said, Anna and I have not had intercourse.
00:34:53No twitch.
00:34:54Can we move on with this please?
00:34:56See what he's doing?
00:34:57He's trying to narrow his answer.
00:34:59What is it?
00:35:00You get a blow job?
00:35:01She looks like the blow job type.
00:35:02You're embarrassing yourself.
00:35:04Answer me!
00:35:05No!
00:35:06Anna has not given me a blow job.
00:35:08Seriously, this is crazy.
00:35:10Back to the interview.
00:35:12No twitch.
00:35:13As I said before, I will take all secrets with me to the grave.
00:35:19Really?
00:35:20A hand job?
00:35:21Is that it?
00:35:22That's cute.
00:35:23Tracy, you need to get a hold of yourself.
00:35:24Stop looking in my eye!
00:35:26No!
00:35:27No one has given me a hand job.
00:35:30Alright, happy?
00:35:31Now you owe Anna and everyone else in this room an apology.
00:35:35I know you're hiding something.
00:35:40Stay away from Evan.
00:35:42Are you trying to kill me?
00:35:43Oh, don't exaggerate.
00:35:44No, you know I'm lactose intolerant.
00:35:46Nobody's ever died from an eclair.
00:35:49Fluffy nugget.
00:35:50What?
00:35:51Consistent branding is important.
00:35:52You know what?
00:35:53A foot job.
00:35:54What?
00:35:55Yeah, I jerked your ex-boyfriend off with my feet.
00:35:57Happy!
00:36:00See, I knew they were up to something.
00:36:03I think I better go as well.
00:36:06Vlad gets my vote.
00:36:11Does this mean I have job?
00:36:26Here you go, sir.
00:36:27You have to use a machine, miss.
00:36:30I don't know.
00:36:32This.
00:36:33Ah!
00:36:34Yes, yes, wait.
00:36:35Thank you!
00:36:38One second, you have to hit credit card in a TV screen here.
00:36:43No, no, I've understood nothing.
00:36:45Sorry.
00:36:46What?
00:36:47Okay, it's right here.
00:36:49You hit credit.
00:36:50Ah, got it.
00:36:53Okay, can I go now?
00:36:55Okay.
00:36:56Good?
00:36:57Here he comes.
00:36:58Yeah!
00:36:59Thank you!
00:37:00Grazie!
00:37:01What do you say?
00:37:02Do you call him?
00:37:03Yes.
00:37:04Okay.
00:37:05Yeah, we are outside.
00:37:06Okay.
00:37:07Great.
00:37:09He's coming downstairs to get us.
00:37:10It's a nice building.
00:37:11Perhaps Marco was right in choosing Williams.
00:37:12Maybe.
00:37:13Hi.
00:37:14Hi.
00:37:15Can I help you?
00:37:16Oh no.
00:37:18We were just waiting for someone.
00:37:19Hi.
00:37:20So nice to see you again.
00:37:21Oh.
00:37:22It's been so long.
00:37:23Hey Jennifer.
00:37:24Hi.
00:37:25Are you friends from Italy?
00:37:26Oh.
00:37:27Well, I guess you guys got a lot to catch up on.
00:37:29Welcome to the 190 Alarmor.
00:37:30Come on in.
00:37:34Hope your flight in was okay.
00:37:35Yeah.
00:37:36Sorry about that earlier.
00:37:37Jennifer is just against Airbnb so I just have to be alerted.
00:37:41Sorry about that earlier.
00:37:42Jennifer is just against Airbnb so I just have to be alerted.
00:37:45If you're not going to be alerted.
00:37:46I'm sorry to go ahead.
00:37:47Oh no, I'm sorry.
00:37:48Oh no.
00:37:49Oh no, I'm sorry.
00:37:50Oh no, I'm sorry.
00:37:51Oh no.
00:37:52Oh no.
00:37:53Oh no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:37:54So nice to see you again.
00:37:55Oh, it's been so long.
00:37:56Hey Jennifer.
00:37:57Hi.
00:37:58Oh, I'm friends from Italy.
00:37:59Oh, I'm sorry.
00:38:00I can't Airbnb so I just have to be a little smart.
00:38:03Is it a problem?
00:38:04No, no, no, no.
00:38:06But if anyone has to say we're friends.
00:38:08Sure, sure.
00:38:09So which one of you is Kara?
00:38:11That's me.
00:38:12Hello again.
00:38:12Hi.
00:38:13You don't look like a mark.
00:38:14No, Marco couldn't come.
00:38:15I'm Leah.
00:38:16Hi, Leah.
00:38:17Welcome home.
00:38:18So this obviously is the kitchen.
00:38:20Help yourself to any food that's there.
00:38:22That is my room in there.
00:38:24And that's you guys up there.
00:38:26Nice.
00:38:27This is the key to the apartment.
00:38:29OK.
00:38:29And the code to the gate downstairs is pound0390.
00:38:35Pound is?
00:38:36As in hashtag?
00:38:38Oh, yeah.
00:38:39And what do you guys have planned for the rest of the week?
00:38:41We're going to see everything, yes.
00:38:43First, MoMA, Highline, Chelsea Market.
00:38:47No Times Square?
00:38:49Oh, oh, yeah, of course.
00:38:50Stay away from Elmo.
00:38:53I would actually advise you to stay away from anyone in a costume.
00:38:56OK.
00:38:57Yeah?
00:38:58Remember that.
00:38:59Enjoy your stay.
00:39:00Feel at home.
00:39:01And I'm going to be gone.
00:39:02Maybe I'll catch you later.
00:39:04OK.
00:39:04OK.
00:39:06Ciao.
00:39:06Grazie.
00:39:12Bellissimo.
00:39:13Mm.
00:39:14Mm.
00:39:14Mm.
00:39:15Mm.
00:39:15Come on, let's go explore.
00:39:17A little to the right.
00:39:19No, my right.
00:39:20Perfect.
00:39:20OK, one down.
00:39:21How many of these do we need?
00:39:22I promise five a day.
00:39:23Simpietro getting a little old for this.
00:39:24He's five.
00:39:25Besides, he's his favorite player, Buffon.
00:39:28Which also happens to be my dad's favorite player.
00:39:31You know, your dad is the one who really wants them.
00:39:34Obviously.
00:39:35Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:39:35Yeah.
00:39:36Yeah.
00:39:37Yeah.
00:39:38He's going to see the bridge.
00:39:39Looks so pretty.
00:39:41Yeah.
00:39:41I like that.
00:39:42Yeah.
00:39:43Oh, yeah.
00:39:44I like that.
00:39:45Bye.
00:39:46Check, go.
00:39:47Awesome.
00:39:48Oh, yeah.
00:39:49Well, I guess, yeah.
00:39:50Yeah.
00:39:51Right.
00:39:52Yeah.
00:39:53Well, I'm the only one that's over here, it's over here.
00:39:57If I've got one of these three, I'll see your team.
00:39:59Yeah, all you can do it.
00:40:02Yeah, I'm not going to miss them.
00:40:05I'm not going to miss the team.
00:40:08Oh, wait, I'm not waiting.
00:40:11Oh, come on.
00:40:12Fine, go ahead, eat your ice cream.
00:40:16This is when I take the best shot ever.
00:40:20Boom.
00:40:24Ah, let me see.
00:40:29Michael would have loved this.
00:40:31You know, he stops at every place we pass to get a survey.
00:40:36Roger Turin is impressive.
00:40:38Okay, I'm instituting a no-marco-ru.
00:40:40Sorry, I just thought about it.
00:40:43The ice cream is good.
00:40:44This is a bit, though.
00:40:45It's quite respectable, I should.
00:40:47You want to try it?
00:40:50Just a spoon, no?
00:40:56It's good, right?
00:40:57Not bad.
00:40:58Yeah.
00:40:59Hey, Italy Fair, come on.
00:41:03Now I'm going to get a double spoon because you're bad.
00:41:11I know what to cheer you up.
00:41:15What?
00:41:16Drinking and shopping.
00:41:17In that order.
00:41:20Let's try.
00:41:24Well, I need a box.
00:41:25What?
00:41:26I'm not going to drink that.
00:41:27The man promised me we're good.
00:41:29Yeah, right.
00:41:30You trusted him.
00:41:35You know what?
00:41:37Full glass.
00:41:38You are American and Dutch.
00:41:40That's right.
00:41:41Time to celebrate.
00:41:46Okay, stop.
00:41:47Wow, that's so beautiful.
00:41:48What?
00:41:53Excuse me!
00:41:54Shhh!
00:41:55Oh, the costume.
00:41:56You're getting us in trouble.
00:42:00Picture time!
00:42:03Ah, best picture ever.
00:42:08You know what?
00:42:09Let's slime it in the shopping.
00:42:11All right.
00:42:12Ugh!
00:42:20Welcome.
00:42:21Let me know if I can help you with anything.
00:42:23We have more sizes in the back.
00:42:24Okay, thank you.
00:42:28Great choice.
00:42:29We also have another print from that designer in the front,
00:42:31if you want me to grab it.
00:42:33Eh, no thank you.
00:42:47I think I'm going to try this tonight.
00:42:49It's cute.
00:43:05Psst!
00:43:07Cat!
00:43:08Cat!
00:43:12Have you found anything?
00:43:13No, nothing yet.
00:43:15How are you?
00:43:16Perfect!
00:43:18Confirmed.
00:43:19I'll take it.
00:43:20Okay.
00:43:23You're not going to take it off?
00:43:24I like these more than what I was wearing.
00:43:28Ciao!
00:43:29I'd like to buy these dresses.
00:43:30Okay, great.
00:43:31I'm glad you found something you like.
00:43:32You need to take off the dress.
00:43:35Uh, maybe not.
00:43:37Oh!
00:43:38That's fine.
00:43:39I can ring you up.
00:43:40If you lean forward,
00:43:41I can remove the tag.
00:43:45My God.
00:43:50Oh, you'll also need to come around
00:43:51so I can remove the security device.
00:43:57Oh boy.
00:43:58I so want to take my phone out.
00:44:14You're all set.
00:44:15Here's your receipt.
00:44:20This is nice.
00:44:21Yeah.
00:44:22It's beautiful.
00:44:26I want to take a picture of you
00:44:27with the dress and the...
00:44:28Okay.
00:44:29Skyline.
00:44:30Go ahead, okay?
00:44:33Let's do it properly.
00:44:35Oh, come on.
00:44:36Haven't we spoused our five photo quota?
00:44:38No, one more and this time you'll hold them.
00:44:41Where did your father get these anyway?
00:44:42He didn't.
00:44:43Marco bought it.
00:44:45Marco?
00:44:46Yeah, for Pietro's birthday.
00:44:48No wonder you keep bringing him up.
00:44:50Don't be stupid.
00:44:52No, I get it now.
00:44:53This isn't about taking photos for your brother.
00:44:55This is about bringing Marco along with you.
00:44:57I don't know what you're talking about.
00:45:00Cara, every photo is a reminder.
00:45:03You can't keep taking photos of this stupid doll.
00:45:06It's not healthy.
00:45:09What the fuck, Leah?
00:45:11Who the fuck do you think you are?
00:45:13You can't go in there.
00:45:14It's the East River.
00:45:16I'm gone.
00:45:17Cara, smettila.
00:45:18Esci fuori dall'acqua.
00:45:20You're dead!
00:45:21Cara!
00:45:23Marco's going to make things right.
00:45:25He made a mistake, one mistake,
00:45:27but he's going to make things right.
00:45:29Cara, look at yourself.
00:45:30You're saving a bubble head from a river.
00:45:32He won't make things right, I told you.
00:45:35Cara...
00:45:36Stop it!
00:45:37Leave me alone.
00:45:42You ruined it.
00:45:44It's ruined.
00:45:45Cara, I'm sorry, but...
00:45:50It's a doll.
00:45:51It's not a doll.
00:45:53It's not a doll.
00:46:15It's not a doll.
00:46:18Cara, I'm so sorry.
00:46:19I know it is hard.
00:46:22I just miss him so much.
00:46:25You know, we've been talking about this trip for over a year.
00:46:29About how romantic it was going to be.
00:46:35You deserve better.
00:46:36And it will happen.
00:46:38I promise.
00:46:42There is some good news out of this.
00:46:44What is it?
00:46:46The doll is no longer what Marco gave you.
00:46:49Now it's a reminder of our trip to New York.
00:46:53It's a monster.
00:46:55It's our monster.
00:46:59Thank you, Leo, for coming.
00:47:02The thought of staying in Torino, it...
00:47:05Of course I came.
00:47:07Think of all the excitement we've had.
00:47:08We haven't even made it to Manatea.
00:47:10The
00:47:11To The Manatea.
00:47:14It's the best he wants to make the dream.
00:47:15You'll never let it be done.
00:47:16It's the best that you've had.
00:47:17Not before you get.
00:47:18Intentate your dream.
00:47:19It's the best.
00:47:20Your family had told us,
00:47:21It's the best if you can do it.
00:47:22It doesn't matter.
00:47:23The dog had told us,
00:47:24We have told you.
00:47:25What do you want to do?
00:47:26The dog had told us.
00:47:57Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. No.
00:48:04Hi, I locked myself out of my apartment. Do you think I could borrow your phone?
00:48:09Yeah, of course. It's probably going to take a while for a locksmith to show up. You want to come in?
00:48:16Yeah. Thanks.
00:48:20I thankfully gave a spare to my friend who lives nearby. She just better pick up.
00:48:23Here, make yourself home.
00:48:27Thank you. This is so embarrassing.
00:48:31I'm Evan, by the way. Oh, sorry. I wish I'd introduced myself to you and your girlfriend when I first moved in. That would make this a lot less awkward.
00:48:39Please, please, please pick up.
00:48:40I like your, your slippers.
00:48:43Oh, thank you. They were a gift for a friend, but once I named them, I couldn't let them go.
00:48:47Uh, this one is Oscar, and this one...
00:48:49Oh! Jenny, thank God. I'm locked out of my apartment.
00:48:53Oh, it's my neighbor's phone.
00:48:56Um, stop laughing. I'm in my pajamas. It's not funny.
00:48:59Yeah, why?
00:49:03He has a girlfriend.
00:49:05Okay, then get dressed.
00:49:07Yes, now.
00:49:09Yes, I love you so, so, so much. Just please hurry up. Please, thank you, thank you.
00:49:18So, uh, no need to be alarmed, but my girlfriend and I recently broke up.
00:49:23That's what the boxes by the door are.
00:49:26You know, my friend was just being an idiot. She has a maternity level of a squirrel.
00:49:32Do you want a sweatshirt?
00:49:34Yes, please. I, I know we're neighbors and all, but I don't typically go out dressed like this.
00:49:40For a fellow Dubfire fan?
00:49:43No way, you're a Dubfire fan?
00:49:45I didn't think they were known outside of Austin.
00:49:47Well, I grew up in Round Rock.
00:49:49You know they're playing at the Oasis party tonight, right?
00:49:51I know. I'm so mad I couldn't get tickets.
00:49:54Uh, is everything okay?
00:49:58Uh, yeah, no, um, my ex is coming to grab her things right now.
00:50:04I don't mean to be weird, but would you mind waiting in the bathroom?
00:50:10It's just, she has a temper and, you know, rather than explain that you got locked, it'd just be easier this way.
00:50:17I could wait in the hallway if you prefer.
00:50:18No, it's just she's already in the hallway and I just don't want her to see you leaving the apartment.
00:50:23You know, it's fine. Never mind, I'll just, I'll explain.
00:50:25No, no, it's okay. I understand. Breakups can be tricky.
00:50:29Oh, okay.
00:50:35Coming!
00:50:37Hi, Tracy. No need to come in. I box the rest of your things.
00:50:42In fact, why don't I just help you bring this down?
00:50:45Nice to see you too, actually. Can I just, um, use the bathroom?
00:50:48Uh...
00:50:49No, you can't.
00:50:51What?
00:50:52Uh, I actually, I have to go first.
00:51:03So, Tracy needs to go to the bathroom. I need to hide you.
00:51:08I thought I was hiding.
00:51:10Look, if you do this for me, I'll give you my friend's ticket to the Dubfire show.
00:51:14Are you talking to yourself?
00:51:16Just saying a few mantras.
00:51:22It's all yours.
00:51:23Oh, my God.
00:51:24It's okay, you know.
00:51:25I can't do it.
00:51:27You know.
00:51:28Oh, my God!
00:51:32It's okay.
00:51:33Ooh, that's okay.
00:51:34Oh, no.
00:51:37Oh, that's okay.
00:51:38You're looking right now.
00:51:39Oh, you're looking right now.
00:51:42Oh, my God.
00:51:45Oh, no, no.
00:51:46I think you're out of soap.
00:52:01Uh, check under the sink.
00:52:04No, I don't see any.
00:52:06I'm just gonna use your shower gel.
00:52:16So, I've been thinking...
00:52:24What's that?
00:52:25Well, I've been talking to my therapist and...
00:52:27We don't need to have this conversation again.
00:52:30Just hear me out, okay?
00:52:32I feel like I need to take some responsibility for all of this and...
00:52:35Tracy, we really don't need to...
00:52:37I've reacted poorly and I can't help but think that, you know, maybe I was to blame.
00:52:41I felt like maybe you weren't attracted to me anymore.
00:52:44Or, I don't know, I just, I got really insecure.
00:52:46You know that's not...
00:52:49Erectile dysfunction is a really common problem and neither of us are to blame.
00:52:57And I was just thinking that, you know, maybe...
00:53:03Tracy, what are you doing?
00:53:05Well, I just was just thinking that maybe I would be willing to try that, you know, the thing.
00:53:13No, I don't know.
00:53:15The thing with the feet?
00:53:16That is not a thing.
00:53:19That happened one time.
00:53:21But it worked with her so I was thinking, you know, maybe it would work with us.
00:53:24But that was not the only thing that was wrong with our relationship.
00:53:27Fuck you.
00:53:28Like your temper, for one thing.
00:53:30No, I'm Italian.
00:53:31Being 50% Italian doesn't give you the right to be 100% an asshole.
00:53:34I didn't even want to do the thing with the feet.
00:53:36I was just saying that I was willing to try it because it was something that you needed.
00:53:41That's not something I need.
00:53:44I need you to get going.
00:53:46It's all in there.
00:53:48I'm just making sure.
00:53:50Where's my Dubfire sweatshirt?
00:53:52That's, that's my sweatshirt.
00:53:55But I bought it, so I want it back.
00:53:58Well, I threw it out.
00:54:02Bullshit.
00:54:03No, I didn't get rid of it because I was, I was mad or anything.
00:54:08I just, I got rid of it because it reminded me of how sweet you could be.
00:54:12And the nice memories that we have.
00:54:15My sensitive pool bear.
00:54:18We can still make nice memories.
00:54:21Are you serious?
00:54:29Hi, I was just locked out of my apartment and I just needed to use the phone as well.
00:54:34Anna, too far away being on the second floor?
00:54:36You had to find someone across the hall to fuck?
00:54:38I'm serious, Tracy, this isn't what it looks like.
00:54:40How many sluts can live in one building?
00:54:43Wait, and you gave her my sweatshirt?
00:54:46Another nice memory, asshole.
00:54:48Here, here, you can have it.
00:54:49I just, I was locked out of my pajamas and Evan saw that I was a Dubfire fan.
00:54:53Oh, that's cute.
00:54:54Did you get that trying to find yourself at Burning Man?
00:54:56Tracy.
00:54:57I'm leaving.
00:54:58Don't call.
00:55:05Damn well.
00:55:07Look, I should go meet my friend.
00:55:08She'll be here any minute.
00:55:10I'm sorry for getting you in trouble.
00:55:12Let me buy you a drink at the Dubfire concert and we'll call it even.
00:55:15Deal.
00:55:18Get over here.
00:55:19Get over here.
00:55:20Get over here.
00:55:21Go out here.
00:55:24Go go hotel dreams.
00:55:27Get over here.
00:55:34Get over here.
00:55:37Whoa.
00:55:42Hi, I'd like to come in for a pedicure as soon as you have available.
00:56:11Yeah, 3 p.m. is perfect.
00:56:26Morning, squirt gun.
00:56:27Mom.
00:56:29Morning, Aiden.
00:56:31Why'd you sleep?
00:56:33I didn't sleep good. I'm lucky here.
00:56:35You didn't sleep good or you didn't sleep well?
00:56:37How's my room?
00:56:39We just need to unpack some of your toys and you will love it here. I promise.
00:56:44You want some eggs?
00:56:45The sunny ones?
00:56:46Of course the sunny ones.
00:56:48Two, please!
00:56:53Go change out of your pajamas, hon.
00:56:55Hi, Blair.
00:56:56Hi, darling. I'm sorry I missed your call. Went and tried a new salon. Big mistake. My day is in turmoil. It's not even 10.
00:57:14Are you free for lunch?
00:57:15Oh, sorry darling. I can't make it to Brooklyn today. I have Bikram at 11 and I've got to pick up Abigail at 4 but I promise to come see your new place very soon.
00:57:24Well, I'm actually going to be in the city today so I was...
00:57:26Why didn't you just say so? No, of course we could meet for brunch here. Were you thinking Daniel or Norma's?
00:57:31We're just still finalizing things so I thought maybe I'd place a little less...
00:57:37Oh, of course, of course. Why don't you meet me at my rental? I'll have Daniela cook something.
00:57:42Sounds perfect. I actually have something to tell you.
00:57:45Is Michael dying?
00:57:47No, he's actually alive and well. Alive and well.
00:57:53Ain't ketchup?
00:57:56Anyway, listen, lunch sounds perfect. I'll see you or two.
00:58:02Okay, bye-bye.
00:58:05There we go.
00:58:07You're very welcome.
00:58:09Two cents.
00:58:11Take Dad home.
00:58:18Hi, Dad!
00:58:19Hey, little guy. Looking forward to our weekend?
00:58:22I want to show you a new trick.
00:58:24Looking forward to it, buddy. Can you put Mom on for a minute?
00:58:27Mom! Dad wants to talk to you.
00:58:29I can hear you from here, Michael.
00:58:31Private time, please.
00:58:33Hey, we're coming to breakfast. Let me see.
00:58:37You're kind of close now?
00:58:39What if there's traffic?
00:58:41Why are you wearing a tie?
00:58:43Looks everyone really well.
00:58:46A couple wants to look at two and five pieces.
00:58:48Cassidy offered to come together.
00:58:50Cassidy?
00:58:51Say, come on. She offered to help. As a friend.
00:58:55As a friend.
00:58:57I'm not going to engage.
00:58:59And I'm not going to send our son off with some idiot.
00:59:02Can she even drive?
00:59:03Damn it to me. It was you who had wanted to move to Williamsburg.
00:59:06And we set up these times for a reason.
00:59:09I would be more than happy to get Judge Stein's opinion on this.
00:59:13Look, James. We'll figure this out.
00:59:16This is important.
00:59:18Would you like Cassidy calm or should I come get you late?
00:59:22Fine.
00:59:23But this is the first and last time somebody else comes and gets our son.
00:59:27Fine.
00:59:29Fine.
00:59:30Fine.
00:59:33Dish in the dishwasher, please.
00:59:35Yes, Mom.
00:59:48Come on up.
00:59:50I'm going to miss you, squirt gun.
00:59:52Daddy's assistant is going to take you into the city because he has some extra work to do.
01:00:01Let me ask you a question.
01:00:03Is Cassidy around on the weekends when you're with Daddy?
01:00:07No. Why?
01:00:08Nothing.
01:00:09Just wanted to make sure that you and Daddy are spending good time together.
01:00:13We're going to the new skate park for the peer leader today.
01:00:16You are?
01:00:17That's so exciting.
01:00:18You know what I'm going to say next, though.
01:00:19Yes, Mom.
01:00:20I'll wear my helmet.
01:00:21That's my boy.
01:00:22Hi, Ms. Gaba.
01:00:23Just a minute.
01:00:24I'm going to miss you.
01:00:25Call me if you need anything, alright?
01:00:26Yes, Mom.
01:00:27Okay.
01:00:28Hey, Ms. Gaba.
01:00:29Just a minute.
01:00:30I'm going to miss you.
01:00:31Call me if you need anything, alright?
01:00:32Yes, Mom.
01:00:33Okay.
01:00:34Hey, Daddy.
01:00:35Hi.
01:00:36Let's go.
01:00:37Chapter 2.
01:00:38Attracting Abundance.
01:00:39We will learn how to attract abundance of love, beauty, and grace.
01:01:04An abundant mindset requires a shift in perspective no less profound than a caterpillar transforming
01:01:11into a butterfly.
01:01:13A being once confined to the ground is able to fly.
01:01:17But just as a butterfly does not return to its prior self, we too must not return to
01:01:24our old ways of being.
01:01:27You will experience your life with an openness far beyond those who simply rely on what their
01:01:34eyes can't see.
01:01:44Darling!
01:01:45Hi, Blair.
01:01:46So good to see you.
01:01:48Hi.
01:01:49Welcome!
01:01:50I'm sorry, my place is so cramped.
01:01:52The new place was, of course, supposed to be ready three months ago.
01:01:55Oh, it's nice.
01:01:56Look at this view.
01:01:57Come, come.
01:02:06So, how's it going?
01:02:08I have one week of unpacking left, and Aiden's having a tough transition.
01:02:14Oh, I hear kids love Brooklyn.
01:02:16Did I make a mistake, Blair?
01:02:18What are you talking about?
01:02:20I mean, I would need two Xanax to get on the L-Trend, but that's what Ubers are for.
01:02:24I am the oldest person there.
01:02:26There are no kids Aiden's age, and none of my friends will make the trek out to Williamsburg
01:02:31to visit me.
01:02:32Oh, honey, I'll come visit you.
01:02:33I promise.
01:02:34It's just that things have been extra busy these days.
01:02:37Daniella, we're ready for lunch.
01:02:38Be right there.
01:02:39What can I get you to drink?
01:02:49Well, being as Julia has news, I think we'll have a bottle in the Chevrolet.
01:02:53No, no, no, no.
01:02:54Really, it's not that important.
01:02:56So, what's the news?
01:03:01I've decided to go back to the stage.
01:03:04You got a show?
01:03:05Oh my gosh, where?
01:03:06No, I did not get a show yet, but I did get an audition this afternoon for a reinterpretation
01:03:11of Streetcar.
01:03:12Okay.
01:03:13And I played Blanche in production when I met Michael.
01:03:15No, no.
01:03:16So, I remember.
01:03:17I think it is great that you're jumping right back in.
01:03:19I just thought, I don't know, maybe being cast in the same show might be fate?
01:03:24Speaking of fate, thank you.
01:03:27Just in time for a toast.
01:03:29To my friend Julia, may life bring you all that you desire and a little extra for me.
01:03:44I haven't stocked any respectable wines in the new apartment yet.
01:03:48Maybe that's why I don't have the eats.
01:03:50No, it's true.
01:03:51A well-stocked wine cabinet makes a house a home.
01:03:59Hey, Julia.
01:04:00Hey.
01:04:05This is Julia Carver.
01:04:10Hello.
01:04:13I can give an introduction before we begin.
01:04:16I am Hans, and I will direct this piece.
01:04:21The production will focus on desire.
01:04:25Desire not only of the characters, but of the audience.
01:04:29Thus, the second act will be staged entirely in the nude.
01:04:35All the actors will be naked?
01:04:37Yes.
01:04:38She doesn't get it.
01:04:41No, no, no, no.
01:04:42It's very interesting.
01:04:44It will be magnificent.
01:04:46Once everyone is in the nude, the real provocation begins.
01:04:52There's rumors about your character spread.
01:04:54Paint and charcoal will be thrown on her that's representing her entrance into insanity.
01:05:00Yeah.
01:05:01And so, in the final scene with Stanley and Blanche, we will have the actor who plays Stanley shave your head.
01:05:10So, let's begin.
01:05:11Setting intentions informs the universe, which in turn will respond.
01:05:21You must be open for the path to be illuminated.
01:05:25It may feel as if you're sitting in the dark.
01:05:29But, think of an owl that is able to see while others are unable.
01:05:34You, too, must find a way to see the right path.
01:05:39Find the owl.
01:05:44Find the fucking owl?
01:05:47What about pigeons?
01:05:49We have pigeons.
01:05:52Fuck.
01:05:54You shouldn't be in here.
01:05:56This one's yours?
01:05:59No, mine's the one over there with the great view of the brick wall.
01:06:04It's just that, um, Nicole in 1A, she tells the board if we use her space she's not too good at sharing, so...
01:06:12It's okay. I'm wrapping it up.
01:06:15You just moved into 2E, right?
01:06:17That's me.
01:06:18What brings you to Williamsburg?
01:06:21Divorce.
01:06:23Oh.
01:06:25I'm sorry to hear that.
01:06:27Is that why you're sitting on the floor?
01:06:29It's just one of those days.
01:06:33Still adjusting.
01:06:35And, I had the audition from hell today.
01:06:39Oh, you're an actress.
01:06:42I don't know.
01:06:43You want some wine?
01:06:44The guy at the, uh, wine store put plastic cups in the bag. I'm not really sure what that says about me, but, um...
01:06:57There's one in here somewhere.
01:07:16The skyline is so beautiful with the air so clear.
01:07:18Come on. You can see.
01:07:24Is that an owl?
01:07:26Oh, yeah. It's kind of my thing.
01:07:36No, no, no, no, no. It's not you. It's not you. It's not you. It's not you. I've been looking for an owl.
01:07:40Thank you for the wine.
01:08:02Damien downstairs is having a party if you want to come check it out.
01:08:05Thank you, but I'm going to finish my cup of wine and head home.
01:08:10Come on. You can meet people to potentially borrow some sugar from in the future.
01:08:15Thanks, but I'm good. I appreciate it, though.
01:08:19Great.
01:08:21Um, Anna, 1C.
01:08:26Julia, 2E.
01:08:28Welcome to 190 Lorimer.
01:08:35The QOV will be finished by Tuesday. It's mainly headcount.
01:08:40Uh, cost savings should be realized in 18 months.
01:08:45Ha.
01:08:47Andrew?
01:08:49Sorry.
01:08:50It's not like it's Apollo we're up against. It's Crest Lake Capital, for fuck's sake.
01:08:51If I have to spoon feed management like a little baby sucking on my teeth, I will.
01:08:55Ha.
01:08:56Ha.
01:08:57James.
01:08:58James.
01:08:59James.
01:09:00Andrew?
01:09:01Sorry.
01:09:02It's not like it's Apollo we're up against.
01:09:05It's Crest Lake Capital for fuck's sake.
01:09:07If I have to spoon feed management like a little baby sucking on my teeth, I will.
01:09:14James.
01:09:15James.
01:09:16I gotta go.
01:09:17Other business to take care of.
01:09:19Yes, fucker.
01:09:21Alright.
01:09:22Call me back.
01:09:23Ian.
01:09:24Yeah?
01:09:25Yeah.
01:09:26You're late.
01:09:27I'm so sorry.
01:09:28You know, trying to get here from New Jersey, it's like a modern day odyssey.
01:09:30You learn to master time, or time masters you.
01:09:33Okay.
01:09:34The building looks dope.
01:09:36Yeah, yeah, you know the apartment layout is fantastic and the view from the terrace is
01:09:41just amazing.
01:09:42Do you want to check out the gym first?
01:09:44Yeah.
01:09:45Let's go.
01:09:46Yeah, okay.
01:09:47And it actually comes with HBO as well.
01:09:49What do you think?
01:09:52Daddy's home.
01:09:53Nice.
01:09:54You looking mainly in Williamsburg?
01:09:56My girlfriend's been handling the search.
01:09:59Where are you guys living now?
01:10:01I'm in Wall Street.
01:10:02She's in Greenpoint.
01:10:03Oh.
01:10:04It's only been a month, but it feels right.
01:10:06Nice.
01:10:07Well, I don't know if you have your own furniture, but the place is fully furnished, comes with
01:10:12the rent.
01:10:13That is a very comfortable bed.
01:10:16I have the same mattress, so it feels good.
01:10:21Yeah.
01:10:22Hey, my girlfriend's outside.
01:10:24How does she get in?
01:10:25Oh, hey.
01:10:26Looks like she figured it out.
01:10:27Why don't you go check out the terrace?
01:10:28I'll buzz her up.
01:10:29Cool, bro.
01:10:30All right.
01:10:31Hi.
01:10:32Come on up.
01:10:33Hello?
01:10:34Hello?
01:10:35Hey, welcome.
01:10:36What'd I tell you?
01:10:41So, what do you think?
01:10:47It's not bad for Williamsburg.
01:11:02I still think Manhattan's the better play, though.
01:11:04Well, if you feel that way, there's a few other apartments I can show you, downtown,
01:11:07in Tribeca.
01:11:08Look at this terrace, babe.
01:11:09Look at how private it is.
01:11:10Just think of that for a minute.
01:11:15Don't fall in love, bro.
01:11:18We'll take it.
01:11:21What are you doing here?
01:11:31I came to let you know that I'm moving into the building.
01:11:34What?
01:11:35Yeah.
01:11:36I'm available, so my boyfriend and I decided to take it.
01:11:39Boyfriend?
01:11:40Don't be all weird about this.
01:11:42I've moved on, and I see that you have, too.
01:11:46Anyway, I better get back.
01:11:49Moving's such a pain.
01:11:51Guess I'll be seeing you around.
01:11:54Who is it, babe?
01:11:59Tracy.
01:12:00What is she doing here?
01:12:02She's moving back into the building.
01:12:05What?
01:12:06She said that you could keep the apartment.
01:12:08Yeah.
01:12:09No.
01:12:10She's moving into 4B.
01:12:12Her new boyfriend.
01:12:14Your ex-girlfriend is moving back into this building?
01:12:18I told you she was crazy.
01:12:20Still doing laundry on Sundays?
01:12:32You could say hi, you know.
01:12:35What are you sure wearing those?
01:12:36Andrew likes to keep it sexy.
01:12:38How are things with, what's her name?
01:12:39Sarah?
01:12:40She hasn't started throwing pastries yet.
01:12:41That wasn't my finest moment.
01:12:42But I'm happy to hear that Anna survived, you know, being that she was lactose intolerant
01:12:44and all.
01:12:45So, what is your boyfriend thinking about us all being in the same building?
01:12:46He doesn't know, and he's not going to.
01:12:47What am I supposed to say if I run into him?
01:12:48Whatever you want.
01:12:49That doesn't entail our failed relationship.
01:12:50I'm not the only one who could mention it to him, you know.
01:12:51Yeah, but you're the one who says you're the one who says you're going to have a
01:12:52own relationship.
01:12:53How do you think about us and how you're going to be in the same building?
01:12:54I know, I'm not going to the last year.
01:12:55What's your boyfriend thinking about us all being in the same building?
01:12:56I don't know, but I'm happy to hear that Anna survived, you know, being that she
01:12:59was lactose intolerant and all.
01:13:06So, what is your boyfriend thinking about us all being in the same building?
01:13:08He doesn't know, and he's not going to.
01:13:09What am I supposed to say if I run into him?
01:13:12Whatever you want, that doesn't entail our failed relationship.
01:13:15I'm not the only one who could mention it to him, you know?
01:13:18Yeah, but you're the one that I'm gonna blame if he finds out.
01:13:23Okay, well, I just think he should know.
01:13:34Split your legs.
01:13:35What?
01:13:36You gotta split your legs. You get better balance, you get better reps.
01:13:40Watch.
01:13:48You a personal trainer?
01:13:50Private equity, but I make YouTube fitness videos.
01:13:54Sell some merch, you know, gotta have a side hustle.
01:13:57Nice, well, thanks for the tip. I'm Evan.
01:13:59Yeah.
01:14:02Hi, Anna.
01:14:03Hi, I'm Anna.
01:14:05Hey.
01:14:06You're new to the building, right?
01:14:07You know, I couldn't help but overhear that you're a personal trainer.
01:14:10I have been looking for someone who can commit to the schedule.
01:14:13A schedule, anything, really.
01:14:15Well, I'm Andrew, and I just moved into 4B.
01:14:17Well, welcome to the building, Andrew, in 4B.
01:14:20I am sure I'll be seeing you in here.
01:14:23Did you just say you moved into apartment 4B?
01:14:26That's right.
01:14:27Yeah.
01:14:28Girlfriend found the spot.
01:14:29It's a dope apartment.
01:14:31Hey, uh, I'm all done here, but one more pro tip.
01:14:35Increase the weight.
01:14:38There's something you should know about your girlfriend.
01:14:41Her name is Tracy, right?
01:14:43Yeah, that's right.
01:14:44She, uh...
01:14:48She's really sweet.
01:14:50I ran into her over the weekend in the hallway when you guys were moving in, so it's just, um...
01:14:53Oh.
01:14:54Yeah.
01:14:55Welcome to the building.
01:14:56Thanks, bro-chacho.
01:14:57I love you, Evan.
01:14:58I love you, Tracy.
01:14:59I mean...
01:15:00Oh, it's okay.
01:15:01You wanna roleplay?
01:15:02Y-yes.
01:15:03Now all I have to do is shrink my ass and act like a bitch!
01:15:04No, no, it's...
01:15:05Her moving in the building is so weird, you know?
01:15:07I'm just, I'm all messed up.
01:15:08Yeah, and here I was, about to suggest that we moved in together.
01:15:09Move in together?
01:15:10We've only been dating four weeks.
01:15:11Yeah, but our connection is so strong.
01:15:12Yeah, it's strong for four weeks.
01:15:13You know, maybe we should just take a break until I get my head straight.
01:15:14Oh, well, okay, Evan.
01:15:15I'm sorry.
01:15:16I'm sorry.
01:15:17I'm sorry.
01:15:18I'm sorry.
01:15:19I'm sorry.
01:15:20I'm sorry.
01:15:21I'm sorry.
01:15:22I'm sorry.
01:15:23I'm sorry.
01:15:24I'm sorry.
01:15:25I'm sorry.
01:15:26I'm sorry.
01:15:27I'm sorry.
01:15:28I'm sorry.
01:15:29I'm sorry.
01:15:30But sewer's strong for four weeks.
01:15:31Maybe we should just take a break until I get my head straight.
01:15:36Oh.
01:15:37Okay, Evan, that's fine.
01:15:39I mean, you need to time to figure everything out.
01:15:42That's fine.
01:15:43Just like, whatever.
01:15:44Take as much time as you need.
01:15:46Thanks, it's just...
01:15:47Go find yourself!
01:15:51What the hell?
01:16:00What the fuck?
01:16:21There she is again.
01:16:48Holy shit.
01:16:55Fuck you Evan!
01:17:01Fuck.
01:17:05Hi there.
01:17:08How was that?
01:17:11Nothing, you just scared me.
01:17:14I thought you quit.
01:17:16Oh, I did.
01:17:18Things got complicated.
01:17:21Okay, Mr. Drama.
01:17:24Let me have a puff.
01:17:26It's not about you this time at least.
01:17:28Oh.
01:17:29Sandy giving you trouble?
01:17:31Sarah?
01:17:33Don't you find it confusing being back in the same building together?
01:17:40You have a lot of memories here.
01:17:42I call bullshit.
01:17:44I mean, you don't seem to be having too much trouble making new memories, but I promise
01:17:50never to have sex in the pump room.
01:17:52That's ours.
01:17:55See?
01:17:56It's not so hard.
01:17:58Seeing you here, it's um...
01:18:01Go on?
01:18:02Nothing.
01:18:03I'll just get used to it.
01:18:05I'm glad you found someone to make you happy.
01:18:08Thank you Evan.
01:18:09That means a lot.
01:18:11You know, Tracy, I uh...
01:18:14I want to apologize about being so critical about your temper.
01:18:20You know, honestly, I played a big part in it, and...
01:18:23In retrospect, it really wasn't so bad.
01:18:27Thank you?
01:18:29Anyways.
01:18:31See you later.
01:18:34Sarah.
01:18:41You know how I feel about form.
01:18:44I'd rather do eight quality reps than twelve sloppies.
01:18:47The minute you notice your form falter, put the weight down.
01:18:50Performance X is all about precision of the body and the mind.
01:18:55Now focus on these last three, two, one, and done.
01:19:02Good workout today.
01:19:05Now don't forget about your five-minute mantra meditation, bro-chachos.
01:19:09I am whole.
01:19:10I am crushing it.
01:19:12And I will see you here tomorrow for a new take on leg day.
01:19:15This is Andrew X, signing out.
01:19:18Boom.
01:19:19Boom.
01:19:25Hey babe.
01:19:26Just finishing the V-log.
01:19:28I think we made a mistake with the apartment.
01:19:30I was just busting your balls.
01:19:32I mean, the commute sucks, but this place is legit.
01:19:35It's not that, it's just that I never told you that I had recently broken up with someone when we first started dating.
01:19:43There's no need to confess.
01:19:45I was dating other people too, and now it's just you, and we've got this place.
01:19:49I just, I wonder how long it'll take him to move on, you know?
01:19:52It seems to take time, but out of sight, out of mind.
01:19:54Yeah, no, that's the part that might be a little difficult, the out of sight part.
01:19:57Don't you guys work together?
01:19:58No.
01:19:59You got the same group of friends?
01:20:01He lives in the building.
01:20:02What building?
01:20:03This building.
01:20:04You and your ex-boyfriend moved into the same building at the same time.
01:20:06What are the chances of that?
01:20:07Not very good.
01:20:08I knew he lived in the building, because I used to live with him.
01:20:13What?
01:20:15I used to live in this building.
01:20:17With him?
01:20:20I'm sorry, it's just that I loved the building so much, and when we broke up it was so sudden,
01:20:25and I was just like, you know what?
01:20:27I don't want the apartment.
01:20:28You take it.
01:20:29And then I was like, what the fuck?
01:20:30Why would I let him have the apartment?
01:20:31You live in this building with your ex-boyfriend.
01:20:34Well, ex-fiance.
01:20:36But, I'm thinking maybe it wasn't such a good idea.
01:20:39Because it's fucking crazy.
01:20:42No, you're crazy.
01:20:43Who moves in with someone after six weeks?
01:20:45We live in the same building.
01:20:47We live in the same building.
01:20:49We live, we live in the same building.
01:20:51It's getting hot in here.
01:20:53It's getting hot.
01:20:54It's getting hot in here.
01:20:56We live in the same building?
01:20:58Do you want me to get you a drink?
01:20:59It's getting hot in here.
01:21:01Yeah.
01:21:02Give me some water.
01:21:03Please, because it's getting fucking hot in here.
01:21:06Jesus, it's getting hot in here.
01:21:09Oh my goodness.
01:21:10Where is the mirror?
01:21:11Here's my mirror.
01:21:12Here's my mirror.
01:21:13Here's my mirror.
01:21:14I am whole.
01:21:18I am crushing it.
01:21:20I am whole.
01:21:21Should I call someone?
01:21:22I am crushing it.
01:21:23I am whole.
01:21:24I am crushing it!
01:21:25I am whole.
01:21:26I am crushing it!
01:21:28I AM WHOLE!
01:21:29I am crushing it!
01:21:30I am whole!
01:21:31I am crushing it!
01:21:32I am whole!
01:21:33I am crushing you!
01:21:35Are you ok?
01:21:36I AM HULL...
01:21:37Do you want me to get someone?
01:21:39I AM CRUSHING IT!
01:21:41I am crushing it.
01:21:46Are you okay?
01:21:51You had me worried. I'm really sorry.
01:21:54I know it wasn't the best decision.
01:21:58Have a seat.
01:22:11Tracy, the principles of Proformance X state that one must be calm and satisfied within to make rational decisions needed to live a happy and successful life.
01:22:28And when viewed from the posterior, bad decisions can highlight turmoil within.
01:22:34I love you Tracy, but I think you have some soul searching to do.
01:22:39Now come give me a hug.
01:22:41As you continue on your journey.
01:22:45Where is that journey to exactly?
01:22:50You must venture out and find your way.
01:22:57What's with this?
01:22:59Things didn't work out with Sarah.
01:23:01Which I'm okay with as I'm learning that spelling is not her strong suit.
01:23:05Well, I just came to tell you that I'm moving out.
01:23:08My apartment in Greenpoint is still available, so.
01:23:10Well, what about Andrew?
01:23:12It didn't work out.
01:23:13I'm starting to think maybe I wasn't ready for a new relationship.
01:23:16Yeah, I've kind of realized the same thing.
01:23:18You know, that box looks lovely heavy.
01:23:22Well, let me carry it for you and you can buy me a coffee or something.
01:23:26Where was this gentleman when we were together?
01:23:28Let's do it.
01:23:29Let's do it.
01:23:43Hi, this is super embarrassing, but I locked myself out of my apartment.
01:23:47Can I borrow your phone?
01:23:48Can I borrow your phone?
01:23:49Can I borrow your phone?
01:23:50Hi.
01:23:51You don't mind-ho, you don't know you're a specific person person.
01:23:52Can I borrow your phone?
01:23:53Yes, you weren't wearing your phone.
01:23:54May the phone sooner.
01:23:55I'm just looking for you too.
01:24:12Well, I found that.
Be the first to comment