Bitoy’s Funniest Videos: Hindi ka makakalabas ng buhay sa CR! (Full EP)

6 weeks ago
#bitoysfunniestvideos

‘Yung nag-CR ka lang pero manganganib na pala ang buhay mo?! Pagalingan naman ang mga beki sa pagrampa sa ‘Cam To Me!’

For more Bitoy’s Funniest Videos Full Episodes, click the link below:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_UmNDDvymmCR7v3LW3hiC56qBueGWTpq

‘Bitoy’s Funniest Videos’ is home to hilarious pranks and silly videos hosted by the comedy genius Michael V. Watch the full episodes of #BitoysFunniestVideos and other GMA programs here: http://bit.ly/GMAFullEpisodes

Transcript

00:00What's happening?

00:02Hahaha!

00:15I'm going to go to the police.

00:17I'm going to go to the police.

00:19I'm going to go to the police.

00:25Oh, oh, oh.

00:26It's a good thing.

00:27It's a good thing.

00:28Okay.

00:29Okay.

00:30Ito, ha.

00:31Pakakawalan natin yung isa sa mga bagong gimmick natin dito sa BFB.

00:34Ito yung tinatawag nating cam and go.

00:37Bakit cam and go?

00:38Ito yung camera natin na laging on the go.

00:41On the go yan.

00:42Nagahanap ng mga nakakatuwang mukha sa kalye.

00:46Kaya ito, ito, sample.

00:47Panoorin nyo.

00:48Baka isa kayo dito.

00:58Siguro, naaalala nyo pa yung 9-1-1.

01:14Yung September 11 na pangyayari.

01:16Diba, terorismo yun eh.

01:17Alam nyo ba talaga ang ibig sabihin ng terorismo?

01:20Maraming nagsasabi.

01:21Iba-iba.

01:22Iba-iba yung eksplanasyon.

01:23Iba-iba yung paliwanag eh.

01:24Pero isa lang talaga ang ibig sabihin ng terorismo.

01:27At ngayong gabi, maalalaman nyo kung anong ibig sabihin ito.

01:30At hindi lang yun, maayayari pa kayo.

02:00Sa walang iyong pagbapaan ko,

02:02선ayo na lang lahong bakit.

02:12La?

02:13Daling.

02:15Bika pala.

02:16Bakas ka,

02:17Miguel.

02:18Nigel

02:20Iced Tea.

02:22Ordeer na ako?

02:23Withoutorious tea.

02:24It's like this.

02:26It's like this.

02:28It's like this.

02:30It's good.

02:32Let's cut this.

02:34I'll order it.

02:36All right.

02:39I'm just a chair.

02:42No.

02:43No, no.

02:44No, no.

02:46All right.

02:48Let's cut this.

02:50I can't do this.

02:51I can't do this.

02:53I can't do this.

02:54I can't do this.

02:57No, no.

02:59You can't do this.

03:01It's like this.

03:03I can't do this.

03:05I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

03:35It's in the middle.

03:36Ronald! Ronald!

03:37Ronald!

03:38Don't leave your head down.

03:40You got a back.

03:41You got a back.

03:42You got a back.

03:43I'll go to police.

03:45He's here!

03:46No, no, no!

03:47Get the back.

03:49Okay, please.

03:55How's it going?

03:56Okay, set up now.

03:58Okay.

03:59Did you get the back?

04:01I was already back.

04:03Oh, that's the downlink.

04:05Okay, okay.

04:07We're going to go there.

04:09There's a cable there.

04:11There's a cable there.

04:13It's 10 meters.

04:15Where are our testers?

04:17Oh, brother.

04:19Is this okay?

04:21Hold on.

04:23How many blocks are safe for you?

04:25Yes, brother.

04:27Yes, brother.

04:29Oh, brother.

04:31What's that?

04:33Hey.

04:35Huwag ka pabalaga.

04:37Tandala.

04:39Kita ko na sa ilanom ha?

04:41Nungabas ka dyan.

04:43Nungabas ka dyan.

04:45Bapalaga.

04:47Sini natawagan mo?

04:49Wala po.

04:51Wala po.

04:53Magisama ka?

04:55Wala po.

04:57Wala po.

04:59Sila ko na sa ilanom.

05:07Katakot talaga yung mga ganyan.

05:09Mamaya mas titindi pa yung tension at negosasyon.

05:11Mamaya yan.

05:13Pero bago ang lahat,

05:15eto muna may isa na naman kami ipapakilala.

05:17Bagong gimmick na naman to.

05:19Kung kanina meron tayong come and go,

05:21eto naman tinatawag naming come to me.

05:23Bakit?

05:25Bakit come to me ito?

05:27Dahil itong camera namin,

05:29e pupunta sa kinaroroonan nyo

05:31nang hindi nyo nalalaman.

05:33Meron pa yung tindihin?

05:35Eto. Panorin nyo to. Ganito yun.

05:37Kaya ng mga kubalala-kabang mga,

05:39Kaya ng mga kamagkang.

05:40Ayan yung tindihap.

05:41Sa mga nakalakang ito siya,

05:43kinag-ayan ng mga kamagkang.

05:45Sa mga nakalakang ito siya,

05:47kinag-ayan.

05:49O-o.

06:21I can't wait to see it.

06:25This is a song, Captain.

06:27This is my passion shoes.

06:29I've seen a badin.

06:31I've seen a badin.

06:33Do you want to be a badin?

06:35Yes, you're a woman.

06:37You're a badin.

06:39What? You're a badin.

06:43That's it.

06:45That's it.

06:47That's it.

06:49You're a badin.

06:51You're a badin.

06:53One.

06:55Two.

07:01Peace.

07:03Peace.

07:05Ayan.

07:11Ayan.

07:13Ayan.

07:15Ayan.

07:16We were with liberty.

07:17Ayan.

07:18Ayan?

07:19Ayan.

07:20Ayan?

07:21Ayan.

07:22Ayan.

07:23Ayan?

07:24Ayan.

07:25It's in the car.

07:26Ayan.

07:27Ayan.

07:28Ayan.

07:29Ayan.

07:30Ayan.

07:31Ayan.

07:32Ayan.

07:34Ayan.

07:35I can't believe that anything.

07:36Oh

08:06Oh

08:36Oh

09:06Pwede, pwede

09:07Mari ipalito mo muna

09:09Kero maganda akong masano sa'yo eh

09:16Ayan, tingnan mo

09:18Nagsabito yung Spanish video ka

09:22Sige ka sa kame na

09:23Sige ka sa kame na

09:24Sige ka sa kame mo

09:29Nagsabito yung Spanish video

09:31Ay, ano ba yan?

09:33Ano ba yan?

09:35Wuuuh

09:36Cool ya kaya

09:37Hello

09:38Ano ba yan?

09:40Ano ba yan?

09:46Kaya naka sa kame na

09:51Iyan ang come to me eh

09:52Ayan, maginget kung nasa kayo dahil baka nandyan kami

09:55Nandyan kami

09:57Kami

09:59Isang pang bago segment

10:00Ang iintrodus namin mamaya din sa BFB

10:02Kaya dyan lang ay magbabalig pa ang pito

10:03His funniest videos

10:05Yari ka?

10:08Yari ka?

10:11Yari ka?

10:18Usong-uso ngayon yung mga ambush interview, mga ambush makeover.

10:22Kaya kami dito sa BFB, medyo makikiuso na rin kami.

10:25At maghahanap kami dito ng mga ambush accomplice.

10:29Ito yung mga nasa kalye, kukuha lang kami ng mga kung sino-sino.

10:33Tuutusan namin o pagagawain namin ng isang pangyayari.

10:37Manggugud time siya.

10:38At ito ay tatawagin natin on the spot kasabwat.

10:42Ano ba ang gagawin itong kasabwat na to?

10:43Napakadali lang.

10:44Pagkaginawa niya yung prank o yung mga panggugud time natin,

10:48meron siyang mapapanalo ng premyo.

10:51Ano bang hinihintay nyo?

10:53Halika na, mga ambush na tayo.

11:03Ako po si Pauline Luna.

11:07At ako naman si Mang Enriquez.

11:09Nandito kami, mga kapuso ni Pauline,

11:11para maghanap ng maa ambush na accomplices

11:15na pwedeng manalo ng 3,000 pesos

11:17basta magawa lang nila ang challenge na mapubulot nila sa...

11:21Fishbowl!

11:22Let's go!

11:25Hello, Iho!

11:26Nandito ka kayo sa ambush na accomplices ng CFP.

11:28Hello, eh!

11:29Dito ko lang, dito ko lang. Sandali lang.

11:30Anong pangalan mo?

11:31Anong pangalan mo?

11:32Anong pangalan mo?

11:33Papasok ako.

11:343,000 pesos.

11:35Madali lang, ha?

11:36Pag nagawa mo yung challenge na nandito,

11:38yung pwesto sa loob ng fish...

11:40Ball.

11:41Fishbowl.

11:42Pukawa ka na.

11:43Baka mahirap mo yan kasi malilig po ako.

11:45Ipapasok ko.

11:46Hindi, hindi.

11:473,000 pesos.

11:48Sige na.

11:49O, sige.

11:51Basahin, basahin.

11:54Magpanggap ka na nasisiraan ng bait.

11:59At humingi ng tulong sa isang tao

12:01para ihatid ka sa mental hospital.

12:04Pag may tumulong, yun pa ang aakusahan mo

12:08na nasisiraan ng ulo.

12:09Okay?

12:123,000 pesos.

12:15Game!

12:17Boss, pwede mo magpasama dyan sa loob.

12:19Kahit sa gitlan ko kasi,

12:20parang kasi nasisiraan na ako ng ulo eh.

12:25Magpapayit niyo ako sa mahan?

12:26Hindi na ako.

12:27Hindi na ako.

12:28Sige na ako.

12:29Paano saan tayo pumunta?

12:31Ayun tayo na ako.

12:32Hindi ako tayo, saan mo tayo pumunta?

12:33Ha?

12:34Saan mo tayo pumunta?

12:35Dito.

12:36Dito.

12:37Anong po gawin natin sa mental?

12:39Sa mental ito.

12:40Nagtatabi itong mental.

12:42Ayun po ata, may siraulo.

12:44Nung bakit dadali niyo ako sa mental?

12:45Matinuwang tako.

12:46Kasi sa akin, magpasama ka?

12:48Hindi o.

12:49Kayo wala siya.

12:50Si Raulo ata ako ngayon.

12:51Anong eh?

12:55Anong natabitoys po kayo.

12:56Kay Michael V.

12:57Sabitoys pa ni Espírios ko.

12:58Pwede ko manalo ng P3,000 pesos.

13:03Hmm.

13:04Okay lang.

13:05Game?

13:06Oo game.

13:07Sige, punot ka.

13:09Ito.

13:10Tasahin natin.

13:14Ayan.

13:15Tatahol ka na parang aso sa gitna ng maraming tao.

13:18At pag napansin ka nila, gagapang ka na parang aso at itutuloy ang pagtahol.

13:24Au, au, au.

13:25Ganon.

13:26Tapos tahimik mong susundan ng isang tao para kunwaring kakagatin mo siya sa siko

13:31o kaya sa binti gamit ng dalawang toothpick sa magkabilang kamay.

13:35Sabay hihingahan ang siko mula sa likuran

13:38para magkaroon ng effect o ng sensation na parang may kakagat na hayop.

13:42Okay?

13:43Okay ba sa'yo yun, Eric?

13:44Okay lang.

13:45Okay.

13:46Woo!

13:47Woo!

13:48Woo!

13:49Woo!

13:50Woo!

13:51Woo!

13:52Woo!

14:08What the hell do you want?

14:09This is the finest video.

14:11You're okay with this camera.

14:13This is the one.

14:17Excuse me. Sorry, sorry.

14:19When you get hurt and suddenly you have an amnesia,

14:23you need a girl to come.

14:25When you get hurt,

14:27you'll be the most close to the police.

14:30When you come to the police,

14:32you'll have your head back.

14:34Then you'll have your memory back.

14:37And you'll be able to help you in front of the police

14:41that you'll probably drink from the police

14:44because you want to drink or drink.

14:47Okay?

14:48You can?

14:49You can.

14:50Ma'am, can you please help me?

14:53Because I'm still alive.

14:55I'm still alive.

14:57Can you please help me?

14:59Even if I'm still alive with the police,

15:02I'm still alive.

15:04Why?

15:06Why didn't I me lose?

15:07I didn't know what I was trying to do.

15:09What can I do?

15:10I don't know if I was driving.

15:11Huh?

15:12I'm still alive so much.

15:13What do you do?

15:14I forgot to do it, Ma'am.

15:16What the problem?

15:17What the problem?

15:19Ah!

15:20I know, sir.

15:21Why?

15:22Why did they miss you?

15:24What did they miss you?

15:26You would like me to meet you?

15:27You are right.

15:28How would you miss you?

15:29What did they miss you?

15:30I don't know.

15:31I don't know.

15:32Oh

16:02Ita-kita sa ilalim ha

16:04Huwag ka pa pa lang

16:06Huwag ka pa pa lang

16:08Hey, ikaw sa loob

16:10Sandali, tumahimik ha

16:12Yari ka?

16:16Yari ka?

16:22Eto na, eto na yung hinihintay na marami

16:24Eto na yung pagsabog

16:26Pagsabog ng bomba

16:28At hindi lang yun ha, sigurado pang mayayari ka

16:32Pagkakakasyon

16:38Bos

16:40Kaya po ay tao rin

16:42Wala mo tao

16:44Bos

16:46Kaya po

16:48Uy, kita kita sa ilalim ha

16:50Huwag ka pa lang

16:52Huwa pa pa lang

16:54Kaya po ako

16:56Sama rin pakapahin din na yun

16:58Sandali, madali, madali

17:00Sige sige, naranig mo ko sa loob.

17:05Somandal ka sa padar dito.

17:07Somandal ka lang dyan.

17:10Kaya may dalaga dyan.

17:11Kaya...

17:11Kasama mo ba itong nasa arap?

17:14Isaabas? Kasama mo ito.

17:17Kasama mo?

17:18Wala kang pinag-usapan.

17:20Pakailan natin ito.

17:22Baka...

17:23Ano mo itong kasama mo dito?

17:30You don't have a relationship?

17:32You're not sure?

17:34You're not a bitch?

17:36No, no.

17:38We're going to go to business.

17:40You're not going to stop here.

17:42Don't be angry!

17:44Don't be angry!

17:46No!

17:48Don't be angry!

17:50Don't be angry!

17:52Don't be angry!

17:54Don't be angry!

17:56Don't be angry!

17:58Tahan-dahan. Nakikita kita dito.

18:02Tanggalin mo yung jaket mo.

18:04Taas mong kamay mo.

18:06Taas mong kamay mo.

18:08Sumandal ka sa pader.

18:10Sumandal ka doon sa pader.

18:12Okay ba yung mga pag-iisip na ito?

18:14Baka mamaya ito, magsumbong to eh.

18:18Ay! Ikaw sa loob!

18:20Sandali! Tumahimik ka!

18:22Ikaw sa loob!

18:26Sagutin mo tanong ko ha!

18:28One plus one.

18:30Two.

18:32Two minus two.

18:34Zero.

18:36Four minus five.

18:38Zero po.

18:40Zero po.

18:42Diyater, parang bali ng...

18:44Siguro ano ka ba yung sinasabi mo?

18:46Two minus two.

18:48Huwag...

18:49Huwag...

18:50Huwag...

18:51Huwag...

18:52Huwag...

18:53Huwag...

18:54Tsaka dahan-dahan ang labas ha!

18:55Huwag kang lalabas ng bigla-bigla ha!

18:57Ha?

18:59Lumayo ka ng konti!

19:00Lumayo ka ng konti!

19:01Lumayo ka!

19:02Sumandal ka doon sa ano...

19:03Sa sulok!

19:04Sa sulok ka!

19:05Sa sulok!

19:06Pubuksan ko to ha!

19:07Pubuksan ko to ha!

19:08At huwag kang titingin sa akin!

19:09Titingin ka diretso sa may pinto ha!

19:11Ha?

19:12Parang mga mesa ha!

19:13Baka pumalag bigla yan!

19:14Sige!

19:16Buksan mo dahan-dahan yung pinto!

19:18Marap ka!

19:19Anong nagkikita mo?

19:20Ha?

19:21Ako?

19:22Nagkita mo ko?

19:23Ha?

19:24Ako?

19:25Nakita mo ko?

19:26Ha?

19:27Kilala mo ba ako?

19:28Di mo mo kilala?

19:29Kilala mo na ako?

19:30Kilala mo na ako?

19:32Ako si Michael?

19:33Ha?

19:34Yari ka!

19:37Yari ka!

19:38Yari ka!

19:44Okay ka lang!

19:45Okay ka lang!

19:46Okay ka lang!

19:47Miguel!

19:48Ayari na Miguel!

19:49Balakbangan natin si Miguel!

19:53Bakit ka sa toilet bowl?

19:54Nakita kita eh!

20:00Ito pa!

20:02Meron naming napiling limang finalists sa ating come and go!

20:06Panoorin natin kung sino itong mga ito!

20:18Yan ang ating limang finalists sa ating come and go!

20:21Mamaya alamin natin kung sino ang tatangaling funniest face of the big!

20:24Meantime, magbabalik ang Btoys Funniest Videos!

20:26Diyan lang kayo!

20:30Yari ka!

20:34Yari ka!

20:37Panoorin nyo naman itong mga bagong entries natin na pinadala nyo

20:40dito sa Pinoy's Funniest Videos!

20:42The owners of the following videotape materials which you are about to see

20:45have granted GMA the exclusive rights to air and use the videos

20:48for the program Btoys Funniest Videos.

20:51GMA owns the broadcast rights to these videos worldwide and in perpetuity.

20:55Wag po!

20:58Saklalo!

21:00Kinakarnap yung besiklet ako!

21:03Wag mong karnap!

21:05Aaaaaaah!

21:07Karnap!

21:09Aaaaaaah!

21:10Karnap!

21:11Aaaaaaah!

21:12Karnap!

21:13Karnap!

21:14Mami!

21:15Mami!

21:16Mami!

21:17Kumain na tayo!

21:18Naihilo!

21:20Naihilo na ako sa gutom!

21:21Aaaaaaah!

21:22Aaaaaaah!

21:23Aaaaaaah!

21:25Aaaaaaah!

21:26Aba!

21:27Ang bruhang to!

21:28Nagmamagaling!

21:29Ano akala mo?

21:30Mas magaling ka sakin?

21:31Huh!

21:32Sandali!

21:33Eto ang bagay sayo!

21:35Aaaaaah!

21:36Bastos!

21:37Aaaaaah!

21:39Aating tatlong entry sa Pinoy's Funniest Videos!

21:41Mga kaibigan din sa studio!

21:42Hawakin nyo yung mga keypads nyo!

21:44Kayo ang bubuto kasi in sakit naman na nalang

21:46second, and third prize.

21:47Okay, ready na sa mga keypads.

21:49You may start voting now.

22:16Gaya na sinabi ko kanina,

22:21eto, meron pa tayong isang bagong segment.

22:23Ito ang tinatawag naming

22:24Pansin Kanto.

22:27Bakit pansin kanto?

22:28Ang gagawin namin,

22:29maglalagay kami ng iba't ibang mga objects

22:31tsaka mga sign

22:33sa kung saang-saang mga kanto,

22:35sa kung saang-saang mga lugar.

22:36Ang challenge,

22:37papansinin nyo ba o hindi?

22:39At pag napansin nyo yung sign,

22:41anong gagawin nyo?

22:41Susundin nyo ba o hindi?

22:44Eto na.

22:44Pansinin na natin to.

23:14Pansinin na natin to.

23:18MUSIC PLAYS

23:48MUSIC PLAYS

24:18And of course, hindi tayo pwedeng magtapos

24:42Hanggang di natin na-i-announce ang winner sa ating

24:44Come and Go

24:45Kaya ito, panoorin nyo

24:46Ang dami talaga nating bago ngayong linggong to

25:02Sana nag-enjoy kayo, thank you very much

25:05Thank you sa inyo lahat

25:06Thank you sa Porcupine

25:09Thank you sa ASN Time

25:11Tsak sold na kayo sa mga bagong putaheng

25:13Inihai namin sa inyo ngayong gabi

25:14Every week

25:15Every week natin pagsasaluhan yan

25:17Kaya makiumpok lang dito sa BFB

25:18Dahil dito sa BFB, siguradong

25:20Yarika, see you next week

25:23Bye

25:23Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada

Bitoy’s Funniest Videos: Hindi ka makakalabas ng buhay sa CR! (Full EP) | Stream Together

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