The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 2 Episode 9

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Transcript

00:00Jessie I'm in the closet in the closet back to my second bedroom hi how are you I brought you

00:10some cookies oh my gosh did you make these yes wait they're so I know you have a sweet tooth

00:16um literally I'll eat all of these today you know me going through a bunch of shit I mean I figure

00:21Jordan's fat butt will be eating him no it's so true we're gonna finish these by today so

00:25um okay wait I know so New Orleans is like green and purple so for one of the nights I'm gonna do

00:31like this isn't that cute oh I bought everything yeah no um a while ago we decided that we wanted

00:38to go on another girl's trip so I booked us a house and everything's set in stone but after

00:43Saints and Sinners it's definitely awkward timing she doesn't think you're good at hair she told me

00:48not to go to you for hair and that's why I went to a different salon talk to me because this is about

00:52me look me in the eyes you narcissist look at me we talked about the way that you treat your

00:56your boyfriend I'm gonna protect um you're ever in this situation let's take it there Taylor there's

01:04still tension with a few of the girls but the trip is paid for so we are going hopefully we don't

01:08regret this speaking of baked goods because you're so nice to bring me this um I got an update I actually

01:14have to get surgery oh my gosh so we're getting the whole thing out I'm gonna do half and then the

01:19sucky thing is as they said they can't tell me if it's cancer or not till after the surgery

01:23like they won't know till they take it out but if I don't get it removed and it is cancer it could

01:28spread to my lymph nodes how do you feel about it all I'm like trying to stay positive because I do

01:33think that if you're sick if you dwell on it and have a bad attitude it can make you worse like that's

01:38just my belief once the show came out I had a few nurses actually reach out to me on social media

01:43they all told me that I looked like I had an enlarged thyroid and I should get it checked

01:47it prompted me to make an appointment so I went to a thyroid specialist and they did an ultrasound

01:52and found that I had six nodules on this side one on this side that wasn't large basically we came to

01:58the conclusion that I should get a partial thyroid removal having this health issue unfold it does

02:04put things into perspective I think we need to focus on the bigger picture so crazy that I could

02:08just be living with it and not know though so well you do it well if you are thank you gosh damn I don't

02:13think I would be like that I know everyone else would be like I'm done I know I would be like

02:17laying in bed all day like it's over like everyone bring me food and rub my feet you're like I'm going

02:21to Dallas I'm going to LA no I'm like legit now New Orleans are you excited for the trip I am excited

02:27I feel like I'm curious how are things gonna go I just feel like the trip has more opportunities to

02:34be explosive than not I think I'm mostly worried about Demi and Taylor Demi and Taylor for sure and

02:39then I'm also just worried about like Demi and the hair stuff I'm kind of like are you gonna just say

02:42really terrible things about me and then justify it oh so yeah I don't know I think I'll have to

02:47talk to Demi about it so messy I know I'm sorry that's like hard because I feel like it like

02:51friendships especially when it's like your best friend it makes it so hard because it's like you

02:54don't want to have to question them no that should be the person you go to for things and like to vent

02:58that would have been hard for me if like Michaela said about me I've been like okay bye

03:02in mom talk from my perspective it's all about supporting women being there for each other

03:07but right now it feels petty and honestly kind of toxic it just feels like the drama is becoming

03:13the cancer in the group so we're gonna have to have deeper conversations to work out those issues

03:18yeah wait how would you handle this because you're really good at seeing both sides and I know that

03:22can be frustrating for us but I need to know you like how would you do it if Michaela was doing this

03:26to you me Michaela did talk about this situation and she was like if you did that to me I would

03:30have been like you're not my friend anymore

03:31I'm the one you've been dreaming of I've got everything you could ever want

03:51trying you see I'll bring you to your knees baby you're gonna believe

03:57I can see it in my mind

04:15do we ever have any other method of transportation we just we have to ride on a pole to get to our

04:36place or else it didn't happen

04:37guys where's the pole I'll be the pole someone dance on me

04:42can I like confess something to you guys yes after the saints and sinners event um I did a sage

04:51cleanse no I would do yeah I would have too

04:54this whole group needs a sage seriously I really want to enjoy this trip but there is some unspoken

05:07tension between Demi and I we have not talked about what came out about what she said about

05:12Jay-Z styles so it's looming in the back of my mind that I need to pull her aside and hash it out

05:16because I'm really hurt by it well is it um weird that the group's like down to seven right now

05:22I'm so small Kayla and I were together last night and Jordan got a call from Dakota and he was like

05:28oh he told me Taylor's not going on your trip like that's how we found out she wasn't coming and I was

05:32like oh yeah I think she's just like not mentally able to do this which makes sense but Taylor's not

05:38here and so that feels a lot better to me I think she's kind of playing the avoidant game a little bit

05:43and for good reason I think she should be scared of me

05:46but I'm hopeful that mom talk will be able to kind of repair some of the friendships within this

05:53group with the toxicity not present I will say the energy without having Taylor here is nice

05:59like not feeling like I'm walking on eggshells that is nice for you for sure I think it definitely

06:05sucks that Taylor is not coming on this girl's trip and now I feel bad because I told Taylor that I'm

06:10going to have her back at St. Ann Sinners and I didn't I definitely think that Demi is kind of

06:14at fault for the groups divide right now Taylor did wrong her in some situations but so did to

06:20me to bring a child into it you just don't cross those lines but yeah there's definitely some weird

06:25vibes right now do you guys not feel that way do you not feel like that eggshell feeling around her

06:30no no honestly I feel worse because I thought that the blow-up would be you guys and now that she's

06:34not here I'm not here I'm like what's with it yeah who is it

06:40Mikayla it's spooky all right let's go you guys it's cute wait I love it the house is so charming and cute

06:49like we're just really immersing ourself with the culture of New Orleans oh oh Nancy I feel like

06:56New Orleans New Orleans what have I been saying Princess Tiana says New Orleans this is your next

07:04info for your next hair extension line yep these are my west this house is definitely very New Orleans

07:09and I wanted this experience to feel very genuine and authentic so I even hired a private chef to make

07:14us a very authentic Louisiana meal so we're going to really embrace the culture the very first night

07:19oh my gosh hello nice to meet you I'm Jessie oh yeah my girl rub elbows it smells amazing look at this

07:26oh my gosh oh my god that's beautiful wait I love look at the mocktails wow so on this side we have

07:38fried chicken grilled chicken blackened salmon garlic butter noodles gumbo crab cakes shrimp and lobster

07:49mac and cheese oh okay baby rice zucchini and squash wait I'm so excited this is so fun Whitney

07:55you have a drink no but like I want to but I'm breastfeeding all right let's go get dressed really

08:01quick get our rooms and then we'll come back down I want us to all be able to enjoy and have fun

08:12together but I'm also stressed out because I'm still hiding my pregnancy and I'm waiting for the

08:17right time to tell the girls especially to me because I know she's been going through infertility

08:21for a while now it is so like emotionally draining like it's because you can't figure out like what's

08:30going on it's more like how bad I want that with someone that I'm like in love with

08:35me is so fired up about Taylor right now that just doesn't feel like this is the right time I've had

08:43literally one bite and I'm like wait this is the best food I've ever had um yeah I took one bite of

08:47that shrimp and I was like oh yum did everyone get the video of Jen what she sent in a group chat

08:54I don't know if I'm in that oh she did whoa what I have not spoken with Jen since our conversation

09:01where she stormed out and I know she's really spiteful towards both me and Demi right now

09:05so I'm very curious to see what she has to say to all of us yes

09:17did everyone get the video of Jen what okay hold on hold on let me wait let me play it for you guys

09:23okay everyone be quiet guys excuse what I look like I just came out of therapy as you guys probably

09:29know I'm pregnant and the first trimester is absolute hell I've been in some of the dark darkest

09:37um places of my life and I'm focusing on not only on my physical health but my mental health

09:45and in order to protect this baby I feel like it's important that I stay at home and get some rest

09:53I've been hurting and because of that I think I've maybe hurt some of you and I'm really sorry

10:01oh my gosh I'm sorry

10:04anyways love you guys hope to talk to you soon

10:09all right so what does everyone think about that for me as someone that's like dealt with

10:19like mental health issues I feel like it's hard because I feel like that trumps everything in my

10:23opinion you know I know what she's done and it's not discrediting what she's done to people in this

10:26room because it's not okay but I think at the end of the day like at least for me I'm going to

10:32prioritize that she's in that dark of a place and kind of like to have that take precedence in my

10:38opinion but there's some grace yeah

10:40she's mentioned to me like a handful of times how she's like I feel really bad about the way

10:47that I treated Jessie and I want to apologize like formally so I'm open to talking to her for

10:53sure like I definitely want closure even if she was just like I was going through a shitty time and

10:57I did shitty things like that's good enough for me like yeah just tell me why and let's just hope

11:00it doesn't happen again you know no and I think it's great that you're in that position to like

11:04give her enough grace because I know it was like a pretty bad yeah well that shows a lot about your

11:09character oh thanks hearing all of the things that she said made me realize that she's been

11:15struggling more than I thought my heart does go out to her I'm glad to hear that she's getting help

11:20and I think I learned from our fight that I never want that to happen again I wish I would have

11:24handled that better it goes against everything we stand for in mom talk we want to be honest with each

11:29other and have those hard conversations but we should never be yelling at each other and I'm

11:33disappointed that I did that so when she's ready I will totally have like a calm conversation with

11:38her and I really do hope that she's getting the help she needs so that she can be herself again

11:43I have a hard time with someone who's sitting there being like I've been working on myself I've

11:47been coming so far things change though like in a week and a half they can I don't know that I totally buy

11:53it first of all crying videos will never not be weird to me I think it's so strange to like film

12:03yourself crying and I think it's like a little bit manipulative and a little bit cowardly still like

12:09I understand you're going through a hard time I know you're mentally struggling but I think also follow

12:15it up with a text to the people you have real issues with and I just don't think Jen's capable to be

12:21honest it does make me hesitant to tell her anything though because it's a pattern of like

12:27digging up the past I feel like at this rate I'm hesitant to tell anyone in this group anything

12:30I'm being completely honest I don't know just because I'm seeing you know it's like Taylor situation

12:35and you guys anything you say will be taken into future argument yeah and I feel like that's what

12:39I've noticed like in certain arguments that I've seen I'm like ew that makes me like not want to say

12:44or ever be vulnerable let's also not demonize the whole group because there are a lot of like

12:48valuable friendships in the group that like people genuinely do care I think it's a little

12:53harsh of to me when we don't know the severity of what Jen's going through her mental health right

12:58now and so I'm just a little bit more hesitant when it comes to trusting to me like there's people

13:03within the group that I think you genuinely can trust and no and I get that but I feel like because

13:08I'm seeing it happening so frequently I'm like oh like it like scares me

13:11oh that's the vibes that's the freaking balconies

13:22so exciting

13:25New Orleans is known for its nightlife so we cannot come here and not go out on the town

13:36so I arranged for us to go to a burlesque show I did learn my lesson from Chippendales though

13:41I'm not going to spring anything on them I'm going to warn the girls what we're doing but

13:45I think this is going to be a really fun way to experience the culture

13:47the only burlesque I've seen is the Broadway Moulin Rouge and it was so much fun

14:00the tassels they have the cute outfits so I'm just excited to have a fun time

14:04this is definitely not what I thought this show was going to be

14:16I'm a little scared I'm going to have PTSD from this night

14:22yeah this is not what I was thinking a burlesque show was if I'm being honest

14:28I did not think I was about to see the cute the wooch the titty all of it

14:35oh a joint

14:43a joint out of my cooter

14:49Layla she pulled that out of her vagina what are you doing

14:59honestly I would have judged you more if you did even so there could have been bodily fluids

15:28oh god

15:30she could have had a yeast infection

15:32oh

15:34hello

15:38hey guys how's it going what are you guys doing a puzzle yeah you want to help oh we just started it

15:46miserable

15:48why

15:52I don't do these kind I do like puzzles all the time with my kids but your five piece puzzle yeah they're like ten pieces

16:00after that whole situation at saints and sitters I am not in a good head spot

16:04Demi brought up like the low point of my life to bring that up was insane it's very triggering I know you're hurt at me right now and you're coming at me but you're gonna hurt other people in the process

16:24um

16:26so you know the saints and sinners party did I tell you about that or no

16:30no so I already knew that Demi was like ready to like come at me because she felt strongly about the situation and obviously we were going back and forth

16:36what situation

16:38my post

16:40oh okay

16:42yes yes I remember

16:44she's saying Dakota and I are in a toxic cycle and so

16:48it's like if you want to go there just know that you could potentially ruin someone else other than who you're trying to ruin

16:54like shut up

16:56she's like a bully

16:58a bully

17:00like there's a if you poke at me it's straight to war there's no petty there's nothing it's just straight to war

17:08she's a CW

17:10um

17:12CW

17:14CW? CW?

17:16what are you saying?

17:18what are you saying?

17:20she doesn't know how to spell

17:22this is such like a personal thing that I've gone through

17:26it went

17:28freaking on the news everywhere and it's just like

17:30I'm doing all the work that I can

17:32I instantly I've I mean he's been out of my house for like

17:36almost five like months now

17:38we've been going to major therapy trauma therapy

17:40I'm like doing everything that we can to become better

17:42in protection of like our families

17:44do you think that any of the other girls like have your back?

17:48I mean like what's going on with Macy? I mean

17:52I don't know

17:53I don't know

17:54Mikayla

17:55and Layla

17:56Layla's kind of just goes with the wind huh?

17:58she's just young

17:59yeah and Miranda really doesn't say much so I'm like

18:02yeah

18:03I'm surprised Miranda hasn't like stuck up for you more

18:06because she doesn't have a backbone

18:08yeah that's sad

18:09so they're all going on their trip and then

18:12yeah

18:14I don't want to be around any of it like my mental health

18:16I just I think it's better to stay here

18:18keep going to therapy be with my kids

18:20like I'd rather do that

18:22I'm tired of everybody

18:24to be honest

18:25that if anything you've been a great friend to all of them

18:29I can like and I don't know how they can't see that

18:31you created mom talk

18:33I don't care what anybody says whatever

18:35like you are the person that started it

18:38you're the one that welcomed all these girls

18:40I don't like that

18:41I know it's nice of you but it like pisses them off

18:43they're gonna resent me if they keep hearing that

18:45and I love mom talk

18:47but right now I do feel like I don't know who I trust

18:50I don't know what is said behind my back

18:52I don't know where I stand with them

18:54I just have felt alone

18:56if we learned anything

18:58just trust your gut

19:00okay

19:01mine was literally saying

19:03leave your relationship

19:05something is not right

19:06every single day I knew specifically where it was wrong

19:10and I I was like didn't listen

19:14but I mean you did have your mom your dad your sister your friends all saying

19:19something's off something's off

19:22why are you with Dakota and asking you and you always just

19:24no because mom and dad ended up really liking him like you should work things out like don't give up easily

19:29that's after ever though

19:31I like Dakota

19:32I'm not saying anything bad

19:34yeah I mean I like Dakota too

19:36but do I like you guys together?

19:38no

19:39don't

19:40yeah

19:41it's really sad

19:42do you pray?

19:43mm-hmm

19:44all the time?

19:45lately I've been like please help me through this because this is really hard

19:49I think that that's just how life is

19:52because you're gonna keep going down the same cycle until you say I'm gonna change

19:56I need to change something

19:58you need to change

19:59you need to change it

20:00only you can change it

20:02I can tell you a million trillion times

20:05it's like only Taylor can change it

20:08I'm seriously so tired

20:18I'm gonna go to bed

20:20hi

20:21to the living room we shall go

20:23hello

20:24this is the air salon

20:25hello

20:26welcome to J's

20:27welcome welcome

20:28cute

20:29this is such a cute situation

20:30we're like act like we're friends everybody

20:31yeah

20:32I'm like we like each other

20:33hey Miranda

20:34you want your lymphatic massage?

20:35yeah

20:37tonight was the most humiliating thing of my life

20:40but with all the drama between the girls right now

20:42there's a lot that we need to talk about

20:44at least I'm a little bit high right now to make the pain a little bit less excruciating

20:47actually to me there's been something that I've been wanting to ask you about

20:52do you see yourself ever being friends with Taylor again?

20:56I just don't see her being able to take full accountability and I don't think that she has like the emotional maturity to have like a deep meaningful friendship

21:14my answer is no

21:19what's your status with Whitney?

21:21more so just repairing I think

21:24we're all kind of confused about Demi's relationship with Whitney

21:28like there's been so many times where Demi came to me being like you need to just give up on Whitney like be done with her

21:34and now I know that they have been getting closer

21:37it's so frustrating to like have the narratives be spun and look how it continues to happen

21:42like I have to walk on eggshells around you

21:44yep

21:45and Whitney definitely got defensive for Demi

21:47okay should we just have the resolution of the petty IG post and move on from it?

21:52no truly that was weird

21:54right now with her I'm appreciating the effort

21:58like I was talking to her the other day about just the whole Taylor situation

22:01and I think we've like been able to like talk about it because we feel very similarly

22:04and it's been nice because I'm like okay I kind of felt a little bit alone in how intense I was feeling about everything

22:10and she was like no I totally see what you're seeing

22:12like Taylor doesn't know how to be a friend

22:14I've tried to go to Taylor and express things and it's shit on

22:17well do you feel like you're being chummy with her because she's going against Taylor

22:20and it's almost like an ally in that situation

22:22I'm not commiserating over something just because it's Taylor

22:25it's like we will feel this mutually this way because I think that we all should to a degree

22:30I'm extremely frustrated to have to even have this conversation right now

22:33Taylor is the problem

22:35how can you not see that?

22:37how do you feel?

22:38I feel like a lot of people are intimidated by her

22:39do you guys ever think about like where Taylor would be and what she'd be like right now

22:43if she had never met Dakota?

22:44I think she thinks about it all the time

22:46I can't imagine that's probably why like she feels so erratic all the time

22:49I hope that like both of them going

22:51hasn't she always been that way though?

22:52erratic

22:53and like toxic

22:55I feel like she has the tendency more often ever since the whole swinging thing

22:59like I feel like Taylor was a lot more mellow for sure

23:02well I can't imagine if she would have not dated him

23:04didn't date anyone for a year and just healed

23:07from the swinging stuff the divorce

23:09I feel like it would be a completely different situation

23:11I think that she chases chaos

23:14I feel like to me is playing a game of who can stab the knife in deeper and twist it harder

23:23I just feel like she's losing perspective what really matters if mom talk

23:27well

23:28I think I'm gonna go to bed

23:29wait I need to put my water

23:30love you guys

23:31okay good night

23:32thanks for my massage

23:33you are kidding me no my heart's in my ass

23:40what's on the menu what a wild night

23:56what a wild night

23:58rise and check

23:59there you are

24:00she just had phone sex and now she's ready for breakfast

24:03I'm starving

24:04I have a surprise

24:06oh no what is it?

24:08we're gonna play a little game for breakfast

24:10oh no

24:11what?

24:13is that a pregnancy test?

24:14we're gonna play pregnancy roulette

24:16shut up

24:17shut up

24:18you're on everyone

24:20go drink some water

24:21this makes me think that someone's pregnant

24:23I instantly have anxiety because I was not planning on telling the girls yet

24:29or at least in this way

24:30I have a whole plan on what I want to do to tell the girls I'm pregnant

24:33but this is definitely not it

24:35this is some fun

24:37is someone pregnant we don't know

24:38you're lying

24:39no I love this game on tiktok

24:40the reason why we're doing this is because I'm late on my period

24:42no

24:43so we're gonna do this

24:45this is a cruel prank because what if someone isn't

24:47and then it's not me

24:49this isn't traumatic at all

24:51I don't cry every single time I take a test and get a negative

24:54Brett and I have been trying to get pregnant for about four years now

24:57and so I feel like I'm gonna throw up

25:00it's like evoking all of these emotions in me and triggering me to my core

25:04my least favorite thing to do is take a pregnancy test

25:08I'm gonna get a bowl everyone's gonna go take their test

25:11and then you're gonna put in the bowl and we're gonna all pick it out and see

25:14and it's gonna be funny

25:16alright I'll take one that's ready

25:18you're pregnant one month postpartum

25:20I better not be that's for sure

25:23Irish twins

25:25I mean there's gotta be a positive

25:28one of us is bound to be pregnant in this group at all times

25:31it's not me

25:33it's definitely not me

25:35it better not be me

25:37wait this is nerve wracking

25:40I know

25:41I'm a little anxious now

25:42are we pregnant?

25:44okay here we go you ready?

25:45I'm nervous

25:46I'm nervous

25:47that one's safe

25:48wait

25:49no that's negative

25:51oh

25:52negative

25:53put it on there

25:54you're like

25:55negative

25:56negative

25:57what?

25:58yeah

25:59exactly

26:00it was strong

26:01yeah I was like

26:02oh shit I'm pretty good

26:03I'm so nervous

26:04no

26:05you're kidding

26:06I literally got one

26:07I knew it

26:09I knew it

26:12I knew it

26:13oh

26:14that was just like

26:15I knew it

26:16I knew it

26:17don't lean on me

26:19I don't know

26:20I knew it

26:21wait hold on

26:22I want a picture

26:23I'm screaming

26:26who's fucking pregnant?

26:28I'm gonna cry

26:29who is it?

26:30holy shit

26:31that is a dark ass fricking line

26:33whoever hears pregnant is like pregnant pregnant

26:35Pregnant, pregnant.

26:36I'm feeling Miranda's very sorry.

26:38I am too, actually.

26:39Look at why she's laughing and putting her face down.

26:41She's done computational.

26:43Everyone's shocked.

26:44I mean, I'm not shocked.

26:45I'm like, oh my gosh, what?

26:46It's a positive?

26:47But like, it's because I genuinely feel so panicked.

26:51That's like really dark.

26:52That's strong.

26:53This is criminal.

26:54Now we don't know who.

26:55Wait, I'm sick.

26:57Oh my gosh.

26:58This is criminal.

26:59Wait, I have to get ready.

27:00I'm nervous.

27:01Negative.

27:02Oh.

27:03Holy shit.

27:04I'm like, dang.

27:05My heart's racing.

27:06I'm going to say negatives go in the trash.

27:07How negative go in the trash if it's insane.

27:09There's one of us.

27:10Oh my god.

27:11Who is it?

27:12Wait.

27:13Oh no, there's four.

27:16I genuinely am so confused.

27:17I'm kidding.

27:18No.

27:19Shut up.

27:20You're lying.

27:21You're lying.

27:22You're lying.

27:23You're lying.

27:24No.

27:26No.

27:27There's a trap.

27:29You're lying.

27:31No.

27:32Wait.

27:33Wait.

27:34I'm going to start crying.

27:35Guys.

27:36This is actually really sad for her if it's not.

27:38I know.

27:39If it's not.

27:40Oh.

27:41Oh.

27:42Oh my god.

27:43Oh my god.

27:44Who's gonna, who's gonna, who's gonna save me now?

27:46Oh my god.

27:47Who's gonna, who's gonna, who's gonna save me now?

27:51Oh my god.

27:52Oh my god.

27:53Oh my god.

27:54Oh my god.

27:55I'm sorry.

27:56Is this triggering?

27:57I'm sorry, is this triggering?

28:16Is this really triggering to me?

28:19Oh, I'm sorry.

28:26Okay, sorry.

28:26Good, it's okay.

28:29I can't even explain how deeply sad I'm feeling in this moment.

28:35Initial reaction is like, holy shit, I'm pregnant.

28:38And then I'm like, wait, no, there's no way that you're pregnant.

28:41Like, there's no way.

28:42All you get is negative tests.

28:44Two people are pregnant?

28:46I guess so.

28:47Is that real?

28:49Okay.

28:50Positive.

28:52Wait, you're gonna make me cry.

28:54Oh, my gosh.

28:55Wait.

28:55Who is it?

29:01If someone actually knows they're pregnant or two people, like, this isn't fair to her.

29:04Like, we have to.

29:05This isn't.

29:06Like, at least say, like.

29:07Yeah.

29:08There's not a, that's not okay.

29:09I genuinely don't know what to do.

29:12I feel horrible for her.

29:13But also, like, this was not how I was picturing telling everyone I was pregnant.

29:17Because now it almost feels like a bad thing to be pregnant in this situation.

29:21Because some of the other girls were like, if it's you who's pregnant, just say something.

29:25I was like, well, now I don't want to say anything.

29:26Now I almost feel ashamed that I'm pregnant.

29:29It just feels like such an awkward, weird situation.

29:32And this is the exact opposite of how I wanted everything to go.

29:35Well, let's get ready, I guess.

29:46Because I just think there's not much else we can do.

29:53I'm not.

29:56Who is it?

30:02I don't want to cry.

30:03No.

30:04Don't cry.

30:05You can't control that.

30:06What happened?

30:08I know.

30:08Well, it's hard, too.

30:09Because it's like.

30:12Now I feel like you can't be excited.

30:14I know.

30:15I know.

30:15I feel so shitty.

30:17This is not how I saw myself announcing my pregnancy to all the girls.

30:21But it's true.

30:22I'm pregnant.

30:23I called you because I have some tea.

30:25What's the tea?

30:26You want to hear the drama?

30:27You know I love the tea.

30:28Give me the tea.

30:29I'm pregnant.

30:31No.

30:33Oh, gosh.

30:34I'm so excited.

30:35Congrats.

30:37Jacob.

30:38Congratulations.

30:39Oh, my God.

30:41Another member added to MomTalk.

30:43No one else is claiming the second pregnancy test.

30:45So I'm like, well, I'm definitely not going to speak up.

30:47Especially now that Demi's like sobbing and everyone's consoling her.

30:50This is also my moment that I don't want to be taken away from me.

30:53And I also want to be sensitive to how you're feeling.

30:56I feel like this whole situation is just so awkward.

30:58It was a weird situation, though.

31:00I was like, what can you do?

31:01Being like, it's me.

31:02Like, you know what I mean?

31:03It's awkward.

31:03It's like shameful.

31:04Like, it's me.

31:09Demi.

31:09Even though Demi and I are going through some issues right now, it's devastating to see her react this way.

31:30She's opened up to me about her fertility journey.

31:32And I've seen so much of that emotion and heart rate.

31:34So seeing this reaction is so hard to witness.

31:38And I really hope that she's okay.

31:39I try so hard to consider everyone's feelings.

31:42And, like, I feel like people are so flippant about, like, things that, like, bother me.

31:48And I'm just sitting there, like, as someone who cares so much about people.

31:51I'm just like, frick, does anyone care about me?

31:54Like, that wasn't a trick anyone was playing on you, but I think it was just really terrible timing.

32:04Eyes are now puffy.

32:06Sorry that ruined the mood.

32:10What?

32:11Do you want something to make you happier?

32:12Sure.

32:14Think about it.

32:16What?

32:17Who's pregnant?

32:18I don't know.

32:19Is it to me?

32:20It's me.

32:21No, it isn't.

32:22It's me.

32:25Are you lying?

32:27No.

32:28I'm not.

32:29You've been doing IVF the whole time and you didn't tell me?

32:34Wait, how far along are you?

32:36I'm two weeks behind you.

32:37I think.

32:38I'm gonna cry.

32:40Me too.

32:41I've been hiding it for so long.

32:44Can you believe that?

32:45It makes me sweat.

32:46I know.

32:48Can you believe it?

32:49No.

32:50How did I not know?

32:51Like, we've had shared a room so many times and she's been, like, injecting herself.

32:55She has, like, all these shot patches on her arm or something and I just never picked up on it.

33:01I'm so excited.

33:02And then she tells me how far along she is and she's literally two weeks behind me.

33:06So I'm just so happy that we can go through it together.

33:08Oh, my gosh.

33:10We nailed this to that.

33:11No, we really did.

33:17I'm so sorry.

33:18That was so wrong.

33:22Hello.

33:23Well, congrats.

33:25Hi.

33:26Congrats.

33:27What?

33:27Is it you too?

33:29I knew it.

33:29Let's redo because I feel bad.

33:32So that was my reaction.

33:34No, no one blames you.

33:35That was awful for you.

33:37That was very terrible.

33:38Yeah.

33:39So many things are going through my head.

33:40And I was like, oh, my gosh.

33:41Could I be?

33:42And then I was like, no.

33:43That's why I got horrible too.

33:45Because I'm going to take another one.

33:46I was like, oh, shit.

33:47This is so exciting for both of them and how fun that these two best friends get to be pregnant together.

33:51That's, like, the ultimate dream.

33:53And as I'm, like, feeling excitement, I'm also feeling so stupid and so bad that I made that moment about myself.

34:00Meanwhile, I'm, like, devastated.

34:02Is this ever going to happen for me?

34:04I was like, I think it's me.

34:06Like, oh, my gosh.

34:07Hey, it's going to be you, though.

34:08It will be when the timing's right.

34:10Okay, well, we have to be ready in, like, 30 minutes.

34:23I know.

34:24You eating a cracker?

34:25Since I've talked to my family, I've been thinking a lot.

34:28And I know I need to give Dakota an answer on this ultimatum.

34:32The decision is so hard because, yes, I love him.

34:34But there is also the side of, like, he does trigger me.

34:38I'm so tired.

34:40Huh?

34:40Yeah, I know.

34:44He pulls a side out of me that I don't necessarily, like, like of myself.

34:49And I feel like the last few years have been the hardest.

34:52My self-worth went down.

34:54And I feel like that's where I'm still, like, stuck.

34:57So even though I've been fighting to keep our family together, because that is what the church teaches, if I've learned anything throughout all of this, it's to put my children first.

35:07And so I know I need to end things with Dakota for good and completely let him go.

35:14I do feel peace with that decision.

35:18I do not see me ever getting back with Dakota.

35:22My feet already hurt standing here.

35:40Watch out for the rock.

35:41Woo!

35:42Watch out for the rock.

35:42Don't give me a theme.

35:43All right, this is our first test.

35:45If we can walk, you guys.

35:47Today, we have a day of sightseeing.

35:49I'm so excited because New Orleans has always been on my bucket list.

35:52And I've heard this place is just magical and has so much to offer.

35:55So I'm so excited to explore.

35:56Woo!

35:57Woo!

35:58It's so cute.

35:59Yeah, it's so cute.

36:00Oh, there's a lime bag.

36:01There's a little bag coming.

36:02It's like today something that I'm unaware of.

36:05Woo!

36:06I love him.

36:07I love him.

36:08Oh, look, there's Cafe Du Monde.

36:09Oh, my gosh.

36:10I'm so excited.

36:11Oh, my gosh.

36:12I'm so excited.

36:13Woo!

36:14Oh, my gosh.

36:15I love him.

36:16Oh, look.

36:17There's Cafe Du Monde.

36:18Oh, my gosh.

36:19I'm so excited.

36:20Woo!

36:21Woo!

36:22Woo!

36:23Woo!

36:24Woo!

36:25Woo!

36:26Woo!

36:27Woo!

36:28Woo!

36:29Woo!

36:30Woo!

36:31This is my main food group.

36:33Cheers!

36:34Cheers!

36:35Cheers!

36:36Cheers!

36:37That's insane.

36:38That's what an orgasm feels like.

36:40Oh!

36:45Look at the little market.

36:47This is cute.

36:48Ooh.

36:49I know.

36:50They actually have some really cute jewelry.

36:52Very cute.

36:53I was looking at some of them for tomorrow night.

36:54I was like, ooh, some of the black pieces.

36:56I've been waiting for the perfect opportunity on this trip to pull Demi aside and talk to her about what she said about my salon and my business.

37:03I think this is the perfect opportunity.

37:05I've just been dreading this conversation because I'm really hurt by it.

37:08I don't understand why my best friend would say this about me and something I'm so passionate about.

37:14And it makes me wonder if I really know the real to me.

37:17Um, no, but I thought we should talk a little bit.

37:19I guess my question for you is what actually happened on the phone call?

37:23Taylor told me a version, but I want to hear your side too, obviously.

37:26Yeah.

37:27So, like the way that she was making it sound was like, Jessie's terrible at color.

37:32Yeah.

37:33Do not go to Jessie.

37:34Like, they're awful.

37:35Which I never said that.

37:36How do you feel about it?

37:37And like, where do you feel about it?

37:38Well, she was, you know, telling you she was going to come to me and your immediate thing was like, wait, hold on.

37:43Don't go there.

37:44So for me, that's hurtful to hear.

37:45Cause it's like, she was telling you she was going to come to me and like your immediate thing wasn't to just be like, oh, you're right.

37:50Like she has a full salon.

37:52That's well known over the country.

37:53Like, it's not like I just opened a one chair salon.

37:55I'm doing my best.

37:56Like, I just, it almost felt like you were taking business away from me.

37:59And so it just was like, oh, to hear that, especially after everything I've done for the girls in this group, free hairstyles, free hair every time you need it.

38:07I curl all of your fucking hair every time we go anywhere.

38:10Like, I just feel like I get so taken advantage of.

38:12Like, it just sucks that I do everything for everyone.

38:15And like, then to just have my business be shit on, like sucks.

38:18I bend over backwards to try to make everyone in this group feel good.

38:21And I never get that respect back.

38:22I feel like I never get anything back.

38:24And I hope you know that my intention and even with what I said was not shitting on your business.

38:30It was strictly what.

38:31But it is.

38:32Like, it feels that way for sure.

38:33I hear where you're coming from and I understand.

38:35But I want you to know that the way that it was spun and twisted, like her saying that if you go to Jay-Z, plan to cry or whatever.

38:41If you don't want to cry, don't go to Jay-Z.

38:42Yeah.

38:43That was never said and it wasn't said in that way.

38:46In this moment, I am feeling betrayed and kind of deflated.

38:51Hearing her explanations makes me feel worse, to be honest, because I don't think she means her apology.

38:56She's blaming it on other people.

38:58So, it has opened my eyes to a lot of things.

39:00And it does make me wonder if Demi is the cancer in this group.

39:04I think I'm going to put a wall up and keep a little distance from her moving forward.

39:08Mixing friends and business is really hard.

39:10Maybe it's hard for her.

39:11I just want these, these.

39:24So my heart can set you free.

39:28I just want these.

39:29Hello.

39:30Hello.

39:31Hi.

39:32Hi.

39:33I had to pump my milkers.

39:34Oh, you're milkers.

39:35Oh, we didn't show you guys the poem we had written about MomTalk.

39:38Any poem, any topic.

39:40Pick a topic and I'll type you in a poem.

39:42Friendship.

39:43Friendship.

39:44Crossroads.

39:45Yeah.

39:46Friendship collides, walking through time, ringing our sacred bells.

39:49We found each other when the timing was right.

39:51This is our journey.

39:52This is our flight.

39:53Sounds like a witching spell.

39:55I know.

39:56That's our chanting.

39:57Yes.

39:58Does it not remind you of young women?

39:59We are daughters.

40:00How does it even start?

40:01I can't remember.

40:02We are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us and we love him.

40:05We will stand with witnesses of God at all times and all places and all places.

40:10As we strive to live in our women's values, which is our faith, divine nature, individual

40:16work, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works and integrity.

40:20Wow.

40:21We have space.

40:22In the Mormon church, once a woman turns 13, we have this thing called Young Women's that

40:27you go to.

40:28Young Women's basically is learning about the church.

40:29They also do activities so that you can bond with other girls and bring them together

40:33and form a community.

40:34It's so weird to hear it like that though because having it in a chant like that, I'm

40:38like we are a cult.

40:39Like that sounds so crazy.

40:40Oh, have you ever been to the temple?

40:42Of course I have.

40:43Oh, I forgot your first marriage.

40:45Yes.

40:46In Latter-day Saint religion, the temple is very sacred and holy and you need to live

40:54a certain way and you go through an interview process through your bishop to be worthy to

41:00enter the temple.

41:01Okay.

41:02Here's the thing.

41:03I don't believe.

41:04But if I did, this freaks me out.

41:05You don't believe any of it?

41:06Do you believe the afterlife of it?

41:07Yeah.

41:08In a sense, like some of it for sure.

41:10I mean, it's core Christian values.

41:12Yeah, exactly.

41:13I feel very much like resonate with the core Christian values, but like they weren't uniquely

41:17Mormon.

41:18Yeah.

41:19Yes, exactly.

41:20That's how I feel.

41:21So you don't believe that the Book of Mormon is true?

41:22Yeah.

41:23I feel like, how do we really know?

41:25Like, there were no phones back then.

41:28There's no proof.

41:29But what I was going to say is I don't really believe, but this freaked me out is when I was

41:32trying to get my ceiling canceled, my bishop was like, yeah, well, if you don't get it

41:36canceled, technically, like your son's sealed to your ex because it's his DNA and you're

41:39sealed to him.

41:40And I was like, ew.

41:41But that doesn't change.

41:42He's always sealed to him, even if you break it.

41:45Within the church, if you don't get your ceiling broken, your ceiling is your marriage, then

41:49you're still married in the eyes of the church.

41:51And they believe that after you pass on, you're sealed forever.

41:54So technically, I'm still sealed to my ex-husband, which means we would be together in the afterlife

41:59and I wouldn't be with my current husband.

42:01Part of the reason it was really hard for my family when like Chase first left the church

42:04was because Chase had like removed his records, which means that I'm no longer sealed to my

42:08children because essentially you need a man in order to be in the highest degree of money.

42:13And can't they have eternal, like multiple eternal families?

42:16Yeah.

42:17Why?

42:18You've been through the temple, right?

42:19Yeah.

42:20Has every, wait, you have, you have, I have, you have, you have, just have not, have not.

42:26Nope.

42:27One day.

42:28You want to one day?

42:29If I marry Cam, I probably will for him.

42:32For him?

42:33Uh oh.

42:34Oh no.

42:35That's not good.

42:36I don't like that.

42:37How's that bad?

42:38I think that to me is definitely very harsh and I'm so over it.

42:43Going through the temple is something that's very important to Cam.

42:45It's something that he's always wanted for himself, for his future, for his future wife,

42:49for his future family.

42:50So it's something that's important to me because it's important to him.

42:53So I wasn't saying that I'm just doing this for Cam.

42:56I feel like I'm doing it for us.

42:58No, like I kind of want to like sit in my bed and veg out on my phone for a sec.

43:01Yeah.

43:02Are we changing for dinner?

43:04What are we wearing?

43:05Are we just like casual?

43:06Here's to your happy nights.

43:07Here's to your dreams.

43:08Here's to your innocence.

43:09Point in my feet.

43:10This is my eyes.

43:11Hi.

43:12Hi.

43:13Hi.

43:14Hi.

43:15Hi.

43:16Hi.

43:17Hi.

43:18Hi.

43:19Hi.

43:20Hi.

43:21Hi.

43:22Hi.

43:24Hi.

43:25Hi.

43:26Hi.

43:27Hi.

43:28Hi.

43:29Hi.

43:30Hi.

43:31Hi.

43:32Hi.

43:33Hello.

43:34Hi.

43:35Hi.

43:38Ooh, cute.

43:41We're going to the Vampire Apothecary for dinner.

43:44And I feel like this is the perfect sendoff from New Orleans because it's very vibey.

43:48It's a part of the culture.

43:49I don't feel like the Mormon church really likes stuff like this.

43:52Drinking blood, I'm not sure if that's against the word of wisdom, but if I had to guess, it would be a no.

43:57But hey, we're in NOLA, so we might as well live it up.

44:00Well, on my question for you, since you're kind of like up and down with some of the people in the group, are you going to invite everyone to your Christmas party then?

44:07Like, is it a mom talk event or no?

44:09I'm throwing a little Christmas soiree for mom talk and I'm really excited.

44:13I've put a lot of thought and intention into the night.

44:17I am just hoping that it's positive and that we're able to end the year on a high note by having the people there that I feel like genuinely deserve to be there.

44:25Brett and I are hosting that and he is like not, he's equally as unhappy with Taylor as I am.

44:31And to me, it's like, just hit the road.

44:34Oh!

44:35Oh, the things.

44:38So I want to get you all started with our virgin blood bags right here.

44:42Also made with real virgin blood.

44:44Wait, what is it?

44:45Oh!

44:46Real virgin blood.

44:48We gotta push it down.

44:50Cute.

44:52I did these at like...

44:53This looks just like my enema.

44:56But speaking of Taylor, I'm curious to hear your thoughts on like, if everyone feels like Taylor deserves to be here and she puts in the effort and the work and she's a good representation of what mom talk originally was meant to be.

45:11Like, where's everyone's head at with that?

45:14Ugh.

45:15Taylor being a part of MomTalk, it's affecting us on a negative level and I'm not willing to have someone in the group that's willing to jeopardize the health of my business.

45:28And tonight, I really want people to be like, we understand where you're coming from.

45:32Like, yeah, we don't have any need for her to even stick around.

45:35That's hard because I feel like there's times when things ebb and flow with everyone, but also health issues really put things into perspective.

45:44So, I just feel like if she did apologize and she's making changes, I have to like, okay, what am I gonna do? Hold a grudge forever?

45:51You take it how you will, but as your friend, that wasn't an apology and that was not humility coming in there and being like, I genuinely want to change.

45:59At that Saints and Sitter parties, what she should have done is literally come in and say, I fucked up.

46:06Yeah.

46:07She sat there and threw me under the bus.

46:09And then you're gonna remain the leader of MomTalk? Like, for what?

46:12Because she's the one who started it.

46:14But to see what she's capable of doing online to her friends and to people who have only loved and supported and been there for her is very problematic.

46:22And like, it hurts the group as a whole.

46:25For me right now, I'm just kind of at a loss because I do really want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I'm still coming from a place of hurt that I'm trying to heal.

46:36So I think I'm just hypersensitive to things that happen now, like with her CMA post.

46:41At least we have this situation now to give context if she does it again.

46:45After her apology at Saints and Sitter is moving forward.

46:47If anything else happens after that apology, then I'm like, okay.

46:51And again, we have behavior to point to now that's like concrete that hurt all of us.

46:54So yeah, I kind of feel-

46:55How many chances like that do you give to someone before you go?

46:58You're literally a psychotic child.

47:00It's toxic as hell.

47:02And for me, as of now, I'm kind of like if Taylor's in, I'm out.

47:08I'm not gonna be-

47:09Are you serious?

47:10Yeah, I'm not gonna be a part of MomTalk anymore.

47:13We all have different like relationships with her and I think it's not fair to kick her out.

47:17I also don't think it's fair for you just to leave if she's in.

47:20But MomTalk, we all move forward together in our friend group.

47:23Yeah.

47:24You know what I mean?

47:25Would that be fair for me to do though with the Whitney situation?

47:27If I was like, well, if Whitney's in, I'm out.

47:30But Whitney's life doesn't take over the group.

47:33Taylor is so, so self-centered and so selfish.

47:36And to me, it's like we've had Whitney here this weekend.

47:39It's been great.

47:40Like that is-

47:41For you though, if Taylor was here, it wouldn't have been bad for me, but it would have been bad for you.

47:45Well, the level of the offense matters.

47:47And to me, I think that Taylor's more of a liability in this situation given the fact that she is the face.

47:53Do I think that Taylor has narcissistic tendencies?

47:56A thousand percent.

47:57But I'm still on thin ice with a lot of the women.

48:00So yeah, I'm going to zip my lips, but I do agree with Demi.

48:03And it's not that I need the spotlight, but it's like, is this a group of women empowering each other and taking the turns on the spotlight?

48:10Or is this the Taylor show?

48:12I don't know, I haven't felt that way.

48:15It affects us when we go do events and who gets the opportunities and who gets interviews and stuff like that.

48:24And for me, I'm like, why are we putting this person on a pedestal?

48:27Why are we giving this person opportunities?

48:29Some opportunities we have are sometimes because of her, you know?

48:34That's fine, but I've learned too much about her now to continue riding the clout.

48:39Like, if this is part friendship, part business, like, if this were a normal business, she'd be gone with the things that she's doing.

48:46Mom talk is way more than just business and work.

48:48This is definitely a side of Demi that I have not seen yet, and I don't know if I'm liking it.

48:53At this point, I don't know what she's willing to do to get to the top, so that's very concerning for me.

48:58Well, I think about the situation with you and Jessie, though.

49:01You weren't supporting her business, but she still is fine with that.

49:04That's different.

49:05How is it different?

49:06We're all a part of the same business.

49:07I'm not part of Jessie's business.

49:08I know, but you're her best friend.

49:10I wasn't her best friend at the time.

49:13I am so frustrated right now.

49:15It's like, are we going to do what's right, girls?

49:17What is mom talk if it's not on standing on business, standing on what's right, and creating an environment that's healthy and conducive to success?

49:26I'm so, so disappointed in everyone.

49:29I feel like I'm on an island right now.

49:31This is the last thing I'll say is that you guys do what you will with it, but she genuinely tarnishes what mom talk was meant to be.

49:40I think Demi wants to kick Taylor out of mom talk because Taylor's a threat to her, and it's the easiest solution to that problem.

49:46I don't know what's going on here, but I don't want to have to choose a side.

49:50I loved me, and I think she's great, but how many friendships do you know where you have to be voted out or in?

49:56Manipulating the situation to be like, okay, I'm going to walk if Taylor's here isn't fair to the rest of us.

50:01I think that Demi secretly wants to be the leader of mom talk, but Taylor did start mom talk.

50:08We're all here because of her.

50:10I don't know what's going to happen.

50:18Demi said that if you're in mom talk, then she would leave mom talk.

50:22What the hell is Leanne doing here?

50:24Let's get Taylor out of the picture because now I want to be Taylor.

50:28She needs to go to therapy, and she needs to go be a fucking mom.

50:32I've done absolutely nothing to you.

50:34What?

50:35What have I done other than react to your poor behavior?

50:37Just a selfish bitch.

50:39I'm honestly kind of worried.

50:41I don't feel like mom talk right now is standing for anything that we originally stood for.

50:45I feel like Demi lied to me, and I don't want to say too much, but more happened than what she's leading.

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