The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 2 Episode 3

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Transcript

00:00You're mad. I understand don't tell me what you do. He does have been in a sex trade. Did Miranda know that?

00:10Wait Sarah here why what the fuck you gonna do you gonna fucking beat me up don't

00:15Throw down right now kind of shot

00:30They ran off. Someone's fighting me. Okay, so we go

00:34You're in the middle

00:37Yeah, what's up?

00:39De-escalate a little bit. I'm fine. No, I agree

00:45This is like this is not this is like awkward. Well, he's lying. Yeah, you're lying

00:51Okay, dude, why are you being?

00:55Yeah, why oh and you're my partner? You've had my back so much

01:00Yeah, you've got my back all the time

01:03I might be regretting the guest list now I did not foresee this happening and if I would have known I would have nixed like half these people

01:10Are you happy you're getting your little moment chase so fun?

01:13No, this is not fun. This is why you fucking showed up. I would consider my stay here extremely relevant

01:20Where'd Kate go? She doesn't want to be fucking around you right now

01:24Where's your date?

01:26Those either really go talk shit on your podcast chase. Don't make fun of my podcast. It's fucking lame

01:32I honestly cannot stand chase right now

01:34I think that his intentions coming tonight are not pure me and him dated each other for a little over a month

01:39And I definitely see very bad toxic traits in him. He's a clout chaser

01:45I mean, it literally matches his name chase the clout chaser. I think it's very fitting for him

01:50It sucks because it's like dude, you're damn right. I want to know what's going on the truth

01:55Yeah, not just from her sighting. Yeah, I want to know it from your like I've never gotten that

02:00He's lying

02:00It's disgusting

02:02Then yeah, they can be friends

02:04What you listen to my conversations?

02:06I can talk to them if I want

02:08You can talk to whoever you want. Just fuck you. Yeah, because you lied there's multiple times you've lied that now

02:13I know are the truth

02:14Let's talk about that's crazy. Yeah, let's talk about what you've done. What you've done. Oh, you want me to bring you up?

02:19Do you want me to bring you up? Yeah?

02:20Yeah, shut the fuck up

02:23She was calling a wall tape screen. Yeah, what the hell's going on?

02:27You guys should both get out. No one wants to get out. Why would I leave? Jordan invited me, Mason

02:31Do you own the house? Do you own the house? Do you own the house? Look at me. Do you own the house? It's not going to

02:37Hey, we're not doing this here. No, I know. Get out, Chase. Actually, I am gonna leave too. I really I didn't really want to come anyway, so

02:44Chase, this wasn't gonna happen

02:45I mean, this is what I was saying. I have my fucking back with Chase

02:49Do you have my back? With Chase?

02:51No, with anything. Have you had my back?

02:53No, I mean not now. Look what you just did

02:55This is fucking stupid. Holy shit, Taylor. Yeah, fuck this

02:58Dakota, Dakota. You guys need to literally stop talking. Go make up and let's be good

03:04What do you think I was fucking doing right here with Dakota turning away from the window? Okay, I couldn't help

03:09Oh, well, maybe just look next time. Crazy. You have a child. You need to talk to me. Yeah, okay, Dakota, fuck you then

03:18I feel like so betrayed. I just expected him to like have my back and I just feel very left alone

03:25My boyfriend just leaves me and then Chase is over here trying to stay at the party. It's a nightmare

03:32I'm going home too

03:33I know, I see it's good

03:34I hate you

03:35I know

03:36Anything

03:36Okay

03:36Do you think Kate is a little bit uncomfortable and she would like to leave?

03:41I know, I know, I know

03:43I really fucking need to be done

03:44Your girlfriend just left. I don't know if you want to go check on her and make sure she's okay

03:49That's what a man would do

03:50Go Kate, that's the priority right now

03:52What your girlfriend's literally crying and just left so I would take like that's probably

03:58He's um upstairs. Don't touch me again. All right

04:03I just see red. Oh, no, you did not just condescendingly be like oh worry about yourself

04:09While I just watched you neglect your girlfriend and then touch me

04:16And walk out of here like fuck you so I immediately go running to brett to tell him what just happened

04:23Brett

04:24Don't fuck yourself. All right fun party, Jess

04:30Me? He just laid his hands on me

04:32What the hell? Yeah

04:34Oh, shit like I just woke up a monster

04:39Outside he's outside

04:40This guy's gonna die tonight. Chase is going to die on the front lawn

04:45Why is he shirtless?

04:48Yeah

04:48What the fuck are you doing?

04:50What do you mean brett?

04:51What's happening?

04:52I want to see you get his ass

04:52Just touch my wife

04:58Come ye saints and come ye sinners

05:00Alleluia

05:03Listen up

05:07I'm the one you've been dreaming of

05:10I got everything you could ever want

05:14Try me in your seat

05:15I'll bring you to your knees

05:17Baby, you're gonna believe

05:19Baby, you, you, you, you

05:38What do you mean brett?

05:39You just touched my wife

05:40my wife what what's happening oh this is crazy oh my gosh wait what's happening no she told me

05:46that my girlfriend walked out so i said where's brett yeah and i went like this hands on her dude

05:50oh god oh god i did see chase pass to me and from my perspective it did look like he just touched

06:00her and said hey where's brett just like asking i didn't notice anything aggressive so it was

06:07surprising to me that demi got really upset are you serious i'm being dead serious right now she

06:13just told me you put her hand your hands on her i said where's brett to me what happened he literally

06:18just walked by me and i was like you might want to go get your girlfriend and he was like where's

06:22your husband he touched you yeah he did he's a psychopath i literally told him this would

06:27happen i'm like dude don't come yeah look how psycho he is i am happy chase got into it more

06:35with other people besides just me he's proving my point of how psychotic he is and manipulative and

06:40he's a gaslighter thank you like they're kind of seeing him for who he is don't touch my fucking

06:47wife dude ever you never touch a woman for any fucking reason dude no i walked by i said where's

06:52your where's brett i fear for chase's life in this moment but in the same breath i'm like

06:56that's my man you crossed a major line dude i didn't mean to cross the ground i thought that

07:00was normal like hey where's brett taylor i just want to watch no just don't get too close

07:05i'm watching her i know i know let's just keep our distance oh i'm not going up there

07:12oh shit here we go this is going to be a problem

07:15i can see how mad she is she's in this zone i want to help because i have a feeling that it

07:22could get really ugly if i don't i wasn't trying to disrespect demie we'll go apologize to her i will

07:27i will right now where is she right here to me i walked past you said hey where's brett i didn't

07:33take ownership take ownership right now that's what i did no take ownership i didn't mean to

07:39disrespect you i thought where's brett you did i'm sorry for disrespecting you okay i didn't

07:44mean to do that and i'm sorry get the fuck out of here all right i'm sorry didn't mean to do that

07:47i originally invited chase because i wanted to get to the bottom of miranda and taylor and what

08:01really happened with the swinging scandal but we're leaving it on a dot dot dot and i really

08:06hope we figure out the truth soon i'm just like where i'm at just because i'm like i want to have a

08:11good night i can't get over these stupid people take them off what's going on i mean are you just

08:26like embarrassed no i'm just triggered dude i know dude and then i'm like triggered for you

08:31no don't be true i'm sorry i'm really sorry i'm like we have a good coping relationship right

08:39now so it's just hard because i just don't want that to like i feel like this is going to get in

08:43the way of that you know i'm sorry i just know yeah you've dealt with him for a long time and

08:49you've gotten a taste so she's so hard because i'm just like dude you have so many good qualities

08:54about you why do you do this like why i'm just so shocked about everything he left

09:00the police are here no are they actually no you guys the police are actually the police are

09:06upstairs jessie i think jessie's upstairs jess the cops are here cops are here i see the police are

09:14here no you're joking i'm gonna cry we haven't even been here two months we are new to this

09:22neighborhood it's our first gathering hi i'm so sorry did you guys get a complaint yeah we got

09:27reports of people arguing yes um jordan and i are wanting to die right now and just like hide under a

09:33rock because we're definitely getting kicked out of this neighborhood yeah there were a few people

09:37here who were arguing they ran out here and it continued out here because i told them to get out

09:42so we've settled down but not at all no it was just a lot of screaming but we have a lot of people

09:47here who like shut it down and then they left no you're fine you're fine you didn't do anything

09:52you're fine i don't know why sorry i just got scared i mean i did too i'm like in thinking mode

09:58their spouses or partners here still no they left with them no they went alone um it was like exes

10:06it's like a tangled web have you watched secret life someone no okay i'm like that would be the

10:13best way to describe it like there's gonna be any retaliation no these two were the problem and they

10:17left so we're good now okay thank you guys i'm so sorry thank you now let's go have a good time

10:22now let's party

10:23i think what taylor is just about is that he like manipulated dakota to like hear him out

10:40first capping her back but i don't know okay what do we do we gotta go dance

10:49because they're pretty so awkward now okay then we go down and dance

10:52let's just go down there okay can everyone come to the living room we're just gonna reset the

10:58intention of the night i'm feeling very conflicted about chippendales at this point because is this

11:03gonna lighten the mood or is everyone in such a bad mood that this is just gonna be a total flop

11:07i really hope that jordan and brett can pull it together and just really shift the vibe of this

11:13party all right you guys we have a little surprise for everyone now that the drama is done

11:17we're gonna do a little performance so everyone get ready who's excited

11:21guest of honor is jenny boo

11:27guest of honor

11:29right here baby get ready to live

11:35all right

11:36i trust you

11:40okay any more time and it's awkward so

11:43we got this all right

11:45this is a really good moment for zach to redeem himself bring on the chippendales dancers come on

11:53jack don't let me down

11:57yeah

12:10This is the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

12:32I literally am thinking it's a joke.

12:34I'm watching Zach the whole time and he looks pissed off.

12:40I don't know whether to have a good time right now because I know that this is making Zach

12:53uncomfortable and because of how both me and Jessie treated my relationship prior to this,

13:00it makes me question their intentions.

13:01I'm looking at Zach's face and he does not look thrilled at all.

13:14Honestly, the show must go on.

13:26That was fun.

13:33That was hilarious.

13:35Was that fun?

13:36Did you not see it as a performance?

13:38No, I love it.

13:39Very performative.

13:40You're welcome.

13:42You guys all were good sports.

13:44Good sports and that was fun.

13:46You look good.

13:47I'm sorry.

13:48Oh, I'm fine.

13:49It just, that...

13:50Yeah.

13:51What even happened?

13:52Like what triggered that?

13:53Well, Chase walked in the door and then that's when it happened.

13:54Well, he just went straight to Dakota.

13:55Yeah.

13:56Why were you mad at him?

13:57Because he was like not having my back.

13:58Dakota was like interrogating her with Chase.

13:59He was like, is that true?

14:00He was believing Chase.

14:01He just wanted to feel validated and Chase was validating him in that moment.

14:02Yeah.

14:03So then he hopped on the train.

14:04Yeah.

14:05So I was like, fuck you and fuck you too.

14:07At this point, Dakota has Chase's back.

14:08So I don't currently know what's going on with our relationship and where it goes from

14:13here.

14:14It's really weird to look someone in the eyes and then be able to just like lie to you.

14:17It's because he's a narcissist.

14:18Yeah.

14:19And he's like, you know what's going on with our relationship and where it goes from here.

14:24It's really weird to look someone in the eyes and then be able to just like lie to you.

14:30Because he's a narcissist and so is Dakota.

14:32What we think he should have done is defend you in that situation.

14:35Exactly.

14:36He should have done interrogating you with Chase.

14:37That's why he's doing.

14:38Well, who cares?

14:39He's the worst.

14:40He's not entertaining.

14:41But he's also the father of my child.

14:42So like.

14:43Sure.

14:44And he should only be that.

14:45Woo!

14:46That was cute.

14:48I want you guys to do it again.

14:49Round two.

14:50Put it on me this time.

14:51That'd be a good sport.

14:56Well, you better be.

14:59I'm going to throw out some Chippendales.

15:00I'm not going through that again.

15:02Let's go.

15:04What the heck?

15:06You won't go up there.

15:07You need some candy.

15:08Get this kid some candy.

15:09They're going to get you.

15:10They're going to get you.

15:11Run, run, run.

15:12Say happy Halloween.

15:13I have been dealing with so much shit lately.

15:14There's a lot of drama going on and mom talk at this moment.

15:15So I'm looking forward to meeting up with my sisters for Halloween to just take a break.

15:19I think they're done.

15:20Okay, Haven, you ready?

15:21Don't pick your nose.

15:22Okay, Haven, you ready?

15:23Don't pick your nose.

15:24With my family.

15:25With my family.

15:26It's important every holiday for me.

15:27I'm going to get you.

15:28I'm going to get you.

15:29I'm going to get you.

15:30I'm going to get you.

15:31I'm going to get you.

15:32I'm going to get you.

15:33I'm going to get you.

15:34Run, run, run.

15:35Say happy Halloween.

15:36I've been dealing with so much shit lately.

15:37There's a lot of drama going on and mom talk at this moment.

15:38So I'm looking forward to meeting up with my sisters for Halloween to just take a break.

15:42I think they're done.

15:45Okay, Haven, you ready?

15:47Don't pick your nose.

15:52With my family, it's important every holiday for us to get the kids together so that they

15:57can spend time doing fun traditions.

16:01Perfect.

16:02Easy.

16:03See?

16:04It only took like 30 minutes.

16:05My sister's costumes are definitely my favorite part of Halloween this year.

16:09Wait, turn back.

16:13One of them showed up as me and the other showed up as Whitney.

16:16She's wearing the classic headband.

16:18And on the back, she has a sign that says, I'm never wrong.

16:21Oh my gosh.

16:24It was so good.

16:27This is where I get all my pettiness from.

16:30Us?

16:31Yes.

16:32Well, from mom.

16:34We just did a girls night or like a happy hour at Miranda's house that she invited everyone

16:40to.

16:41Wait, Miranda?

16:42Wait, I was not expecting that name.

16:43Is that awkward in the same room as her?

16:46Well, the only reason I went was to tell her how I felt.

16:51But I was a little mean.

16:55I think I said a little too much and I felt bad.

16:57I just feel like convenient timing.

16:59Everything feels kind of fake to me about it.

17:01I was edging on the side of anger when I went into the conversation.

17:05I think I came off a little too harsh.

17:07I just feel like in our house, I feel like we grew up in a lot of anger.

17:11And so we express our feelings.

17:12But just holding it back.

17:13Yeah.

17:14It's like holding and holding and holding in until all of a sudden it explodes in your

17:18mind.

17:19And it comes out so wrong.

17:20Yeah, I think that's what's happening right now.

17:21But I was just surprised to see Miranda defend Taylor during the Halloween party.

17:25Hey, we're not doing this here.

17:26No, no.

17:27Get out.

17:28Chase.

17:29This wasn't going to happen here.

17:31I think I've just let too many things happen for too many years.

17:34And I'm like, actually, no, I'm kind of done taking people's shit.

17:37I'm at a point in my life where I'm like, I want to protect my peace and I want to be

17:40able to heal myself, my skin and like all my chronic health issues.

17:45I think it's related to like deeper rooted trauma.

17:47This is the current state of my skin.

17:50Oh, it's just so rough because I've literally been doing, I've been cutting out sugar, gluten.

17:57I've been cutting back on all my dairy.

17:59It just felt like it's getting worse.

18:01It's basically like I've been going through an autoimmune disease without an autoimmune

18:06disease.

18:07But recently I've been working on finding my voice and learning how to express my feelings.

18:11And now my skin's been doing a lot better.

18:14It's hard because when my face is good, my body's bad.

18:17And then it'll swap where my face is horrible and my body's great.

18:21So I just need to get my whole body in tune with each other.

18:24But Jace always knows too.

18:26Like, I can't really express my emotions unless it's like anger.

18:30Because I don't know how to validate people's feelings because we didn't get that growing up.

18:33And so people are trying to validate their feelings.

18:35I'm just like in attack mode.

18:37And I feel like it's just from not expressing my emotions for however many years, 24 years.

18:43Especially you.

18:44Like, especially you.

18:46I feel like a lot of it is super related to like trauma and things that happen and just

18:52all of that.

18:53Yeah.

18:54I was sexually abused for about like four or five years.

19:09I was young.

19:10And so I wasn't, I didn't exactly know what was going on.

19:14And then when I was 15, I was like, it can't go on any longer.

19:17So Halloween of 2015, I ended up going to my mom and I felt like she didn't believe me.

19:28I feel like that's when I stopped telling people.

19:37After that point, it was like, I was hesitant to say anything to anybody because I was like,

19:42well, no one's going to believe me.

19:45I think it just silenced me in a way.

19:50I think that was like the turning point where my body shifted and was like,

19:54every time I'm feeling something or feeling like anything hard, I can't even now.

20:00It's like, I can't express it.

20:03It's a tricky situation to navigate because it's like, I don't know where to go from here.

20:07But I think the most important thing is finding the people that you can trust

20:11and the people that you feel comfortable around.

20:14I just feel like on Halloween, that was like the last time that I was opening.

20:26That's just when I lost my voice.

20:28Such a deep wound of just hurt that I have a lot of fear of having to relive it and feel that all again.

20:38Okay, I need a break.

20:39But maybe I need to try going to therapy and finally allow myself to heal.

20:46I would say let's hug, but we don't do that.

20:48It's nice to get some time in the morning for us.

21:03The Halloween party was intense.

21:05No, I know.

21:06The Chippendale situation.

21:07I think that this is another jab from Jesse and Demi at Jen and I's expense.

21:12I don't know in what world they think that they have some right to like give us exposure therapy.

21:17To force something onto someone and especially not tell them,

21:20I don't think you can claim to have a good intention.

21:24Like I, like a man, went and sat down with them, told them my issues I had with them.

21:29I talked to them about the issues they had with me.

21:31I said some super hurtful things to Jen.

21:34I look like the biggest hypocrite in the world.

21:35Yeah.

21:36I don't feel like that's who I am and that's like not who I want to be.

21:39Four days later at their Halloween party with a hundred friends we don't know were made into the comedy act so that they can laugh.

21:47It's a different story if Brett reaches out and says, like, Zach, are you cool with this?

21:53Or even the girls.

21:54I mean, did they ask you if they could?

21:57No.

21:58So, I mean, it shows a lot about, like, who they are as people.

22:02I did hear Jessie and Demi kind of bring it up jokingly when I was at Jessie's salon, but I didn't, I didn't think they were serious to be honest.

22:11I knew partially of what they were going to do.

22:15He's going to come in, like, normal costume, rip it off into, like, a chicken meal.

22:20I love that!

22:22But I didn't realize how bad this was upset Zach.

22:25I just wanted to be the fun friend who just said, yeah, and that it would be so awesome, but I didn't really question their intentions behind it.

22:33And I also didn't ask myself how I felt about it.

22:36They're shitty friends.

22:38It's like, this is our marriage.

22:40This isn't a game.

22:41And, like, real friends wouldn't do that.

22:43Genuinely.

22:44Yeah.

22:45I feel like I'm tossed in the middle, having to pick between my marriage and all the girls and mom talk.

22:54It definitely feels like I have no one to turn to right now.

22:57Um, and that's really hard.

22:59It's just honestly a toxic environment and not the kind of place where I want to be, like, honestly raising your kids.

23:06I just wish that after the party didn't put the frustration you were feeling towards Demi and Jessie on me.

23:15After the Halloween party, Zach got upset about it and he was jumping to conclusions and putting his frustration on me without getting the whole picture or the whole story.

23:24It was definitely triggering for me.

23:26I'm not frustrated at you, Jen.

23:27I just...

23:28You were frustrated at me.

23:29We're continually going to these parties and spending time with these people who clearly don't have good intentions for you or for our family.

23:36I just also want you to acknowledge the frustration you put on me.

23:40Yeah.

23:41I am frustrated because I feel like I'm having to stick up and defend our family and it's making me look like the bad guy when these are your friends.

23:49Mm-hmm.

23:50Like, if my friends were doing these kind of things to us, I would confront them and...or I would drop them.

23:56So much was happening.

23:57I didn't feel like there was room for me to confront them.

24:00It felt like Chippendale was all over again, just like you being...

24:03Jen.

24:04I'm not to the...not...

24:05Okay, I'm not...

24:06Not to the extent...

24:07Hold on.

24:08No, not to the...

24:09Okay.

24:10Tony, Tony...

24:11You just listen to me real quick.

24:12You just listen to me.

24:13Not to the extent.

24:15Obviously, you're frustrated about the whole thing and you're frustrated about...

24:19Not at you, at Jessie and Demi.

24:21Yes.

24:22Because they're not good friends.

24:23I know, but I wish you wouldn't put that frustration on me and you would ask me how I'm feeling than like how you're feeling.

24:29But you bring me to these parties with your friends and then I get put in these situations.

24:35I think there is a lot of things that I do need to take accountability for.

24:40I just don't think everyone sees the full context and doesn't see the other side of things.

24:45Like you also have to own up to like how you treat me after these situations that I'm not putting myself into.

24:50I just honestly felt like pretty like alone.

24:55Okay, I...

24:56Just...

24:57I can't do this.

24:58I'm sorry.

24:59This...

25:00Are you going to hear me out?

25:02Are you going to listen to me or are you just going to walk away?

25:04No, I would like to take a break for a second.

25:06Will you please cut the camera?

25:08I don't want to do this.

25:09I don't want to take a break.

25:10I want to openly have this conversation.

25:12I'm not down to have this conversation right now.

25:15This...

25:16I'm not getting this twisted on me again.

25:18You're making it about you and how you feel.

25:22You haven't considered how I felt about the situation.

25:24Okay, we can film this later.

25:25I'm not going to do this.

25:26I'm not going to have this flip back on me again.

25:29Because you have crazy ass friends.

25:32I've been doing so much work to handle things differently, to go about things differently.

25:37And Jen is such a sweet, pure-hearted person that I think...

25:43Yeah, sometimes I feel like I kind of get...

25:47A little bit...

25:49I don't know.

25:51I don't want to say anything bad about Jen.

25:55I need you to own up to this.

25:57I'm not being quiet about it.

25:59And if you don't want to be on camera, then you can go.

26:01If you don't want to be a part of this, you don't want to be a part of this marriage, you can go.

26:03And I'm only moving forward in this marriage if you take accountability.

26:06Hey, we're gonna play and have some fun, fun.

26:15We're gonna rise after the sun's on.

26:18Cause we are one and everyone's on.

26:22And we are here to have some fun.

26:29Baby number three!

26:31So I get out of bed and I'm headed to the bathroom.

26:36And then all of a sudden this gush of water comes out.

26:40TMI, sorry.

26:41And I'm in labor!

26:43You ready?

26:44I'm so excited.

26:46It's time though.

26:48I heard there was drama at Jessie's Halloween party.

26:51But lucky me, I can't afford being involved in any big drama.

26:54Because I'm about to give birth and I'm so excited to start this new chapter in our lives.

26:57Okay, so this is your room.

27:00This is where we're gonna have a birthday party.

27:02This is so exciting.

27:03Yeah!

27:04So I really appreciate you carrying our child.

27:08And all the love that you've given me and our children.

27:11And the love you're gonna give this baby.

27:13Being a mom is one of the greatest callings a woman can have.

27:18Big breaths.

27:19Breathe in your nose, out your mouth.

27:22You're so strong Whitney.

27:24That's genuinely the closest I feel to heaven.

27:27Big, slow breaths.

27:31You got it.

27:32It's the greatest miracle, the greatest blessing anyone could ever experience.

27:37And there's a certain significance with having this baby with Connor.

27:42Because we did go through so much.

27:45And we worked so hard to get this relationship that we have today.

27:48I'll forever be so grateful that I gave Connor a second chance.

27:51This baby wouldn't be here if we were able to overcome what we went through.

27:55It's okay.

27:56I have you.

27:57I have you.

27:58I have you.

27:59There's no other person I'd love to be in this room and experience this with than my husband Connor.

28:06Oh my God.

28:07What do we got?

28:09What do we got?

28:10A boy.

28:11Oh my gosh.

28:12He has so much air.

28:14Good job.

28:16You did it.

28:18I know how easy it is to get caught up in the world and worldly things.

28:23But every time I'm holding a newborn or a baby or one of my children, I'm reminded this is what matters.

28:33This is what matters in this life.

28:35I've been waiting for my whole life.

28:39I love you.

28:40I love you too.

28:41Cause baby love never felt like this.

28:44So easy, so effortless.

28:47He's here.

28:48He's beautiful.

28:49I've never felt like this.

28:52Some of the girls and I are getting together with our kids today.

29:03We are taking them to a farm that has a lot of pumpkins and rides.

29:07You guys look so cute.

29:08Thanks.

29:09You too.

29:10Jen's not here.

29:11She's kind of been off the grid.

29:12I'm okay with it.

29:13Hey, Lorraine.

29:14There she is.

29:15Hi, baby.

29:16Oh, you look cute.

29:17I'm excited to see the kids play together and just have a fun light hearted day.

29:21Hello.

29:22How are you?

29:23Good.

29:24How are you?

29:25Good.

29:26How are you?

29:27Can I go find you right?

29:28Yeah, let's do it.

29:31Hi, girl.

29:32Hello.

29:33Stay tuned.

29:34Hi.

29:35I'm like shaking.

29:36I don't want to be stuck in the top.

29:38Put your hands in the air.

29:40Oh.

29:41I don't like it either.

29:42My pussy's tingling.

29:43I don't like it.

29:44I don't like it.

29:45I don't like it either.

29:46My pussy's tingling.

29:47I don't like it.

29:48I don't like it.

29:49Oh, that's fun.

29:50Let's go play in the corn.

29:51Jagger, come on.

29:52We're going to eat our food first.

29:53Okay, Jagger, don't put it in your mouth.

29:54Carlo, don't throw it.

29:55Do you have hand sanitizer?

29:56I know.

29:57I was like, Macy's going to ask someone to clean the table first.

29:58I don't like the germs, you guys.

29:59Have you talked to Whitney at all?

30:00Jen and I went yesterday and got her a gift.

30:01Wait, I want to know how you and Jen got so close.

30:02I don't like the germs, you guys.

30:03Have you talked to Whitney at all?

30:04Jen and I went yesterday and got her a gift.

30:05Wait, I want to know how you and Jen got so close.

30:07Just been hanging out.

30:09I'm going to kind of have to win these girls over if I want to come back to MomTalk.

30:13And I think Jen and I have a lot of similarities.

30:16I can relate to her because I know what it's like to have your marriage so publicly scrutinized.

30:34No one understands unless they've been there.

30:37Feels like I'm having to explain myself when I should just be receiving support.

30:43And they see this when there's like this all underneath that people don't see.

30:47I support your marriage.

30:49And if you guys are working through it, I'm rooting for you guys.

30:52The girls aren't the biggest fans of Jen right now.

30:55But I'm just trying not to rock the boat because I'm not even in MomTalk yet.

31:00I think she just feels alone with the whole Zach thing.

31:04Because she doesn't want to upset him.

31:06But then she also feels like if she opens up to you guys, she's like, I already kind of know like their answer.

31:11Well, to be fair, when she's opened up to us, it's either a lie or Zach doesn't know she's saying it.

31:15And that's what gets her in trouble.

31:17She's done things that have bitten her own self in the ass.

31:20So are you guys all not cool with Jen?

31:22I feel like I'm just not her biggest fan for what she's done to like you, especially.

31:26What'd she do to you?

31:28Um, she's just kind of vindictive.

31:32I was one of the girls that went on the Italy trip at Vanderpump Velo this summer.

31:38And I know for a fact that nothing happened between me and the guys.

31:41Are you doing perfect?

31:43We will.

31:44I think you will.

31:45You're going to be hanging out with us.

31:47Jen was definitely judging Demi for being flirty with these guys.

31:51If that's okay in your marriage, I'm not judging you for it.

31:54But then Jen turned around and flip it as a way to use it against her almost as blackmail.

31:59We had a sit down, talk with her and Zach.

32:01And we were talking about just the disconnect between what she was saying versus what Zach was saying.

32:07But instead of like taking the opportunity to like focus on that, she took the opportunity to like try to throw me under the bus.

32:13And like was like, well, what about villas? And what about?

32:16And I'm like, okay, hold on. We're talking about you and Zach.

32:19Like, none of this concerns you in any way.

32:22I think that when Jen is in situations where she feels that she's ganged up on and isolated, she likes to deflect and kind of throw out whatever dagger she can to take the heat off of herself.

32:32Her motives are not good. So I'm just like, until I see different, like, this is where we are.

32:38There's just so much I feel like I have to catch up on you guys.

32:41Yeah.

32:42Jagger's chomping at the bit to do something.

32:43Should we go take them on a ride?

32:45Don't put them in someone's shoes, Jagger. Stop.

32:47Yeah.

32:48Bye.

32:49Jagger, do you want to go see the animals with your friends?

32:51Yeah.

32:52Okay, I'll take you guys.

32:53Soka wants to go with you guys too.

32:55Okay, let's do the corn maze.

32:56Yay.

32:57Okay, let's hope we come out friends.

32:58We'll just go into this.

32:59Truth, no matter how this goes down.

33:01If you have to pee, just go in there.

33:03Yeah, just squat.

33:04Right here.

33:05Good old times.

33:10Miranda was like another level of, like, friendship.

33:13She was my best friend.

33:14Like, we would talk two hours a day on the phone.

33:16I'd see her probably three times a week and it ended overnight.

33:19If you're gonna, like, come into our circle again and come into MomTalk, I would hope at this point you're willing to, like, be open and honest.

33:25Because if you're not, I will clear the air.

33:28I won't be called a liar because everything I've said is true.

33:32I'm ready to move on.

33:35Well, how have you been feeling about being around me?

33:38I'm, like, almost maybe in shock.

33:40Like, we should have a conversation because your stories still are, like, a little different.

33:45And so I'm just confused.

33:46Like, I feel like a lot of animosity still, like, about the whole situation.

33:49The only time I, like, touched anyone or did anything with anyone was kissing.

33:53I'm hoping Taylor is ready to really have what I hope is the final conversation.

34:00I just want to clear it up once and for all.

34:02There wasn't anything beyond that.

34:07What I wanted to get across was that I was, like, when Taylor said everyone was hooking up with everyone, I'm, like, that wasn't the case.

34:15I didn't hook up with anyone.

34:16I think when people think, like, swinging parties was not really, like, I guess for me, like, what I would picture.

34:22Maybe we have a different definition of involvement then.

34:25I didn't mean sex.

34:27I just meant we were all doing things with each other.

34:29I don't want to get it twisted.

34:31The height of what I was involved in was kissing people.

34:33It wasn't just kissing.

34:37I don't know what to say about it.

34:38Yeah, it's true, but, like, also not.

34:40It's just downplaying what actually happened.

34:42I feel like it's, like, we did everything Love Island does.

34:45You've seen Love Island where they play the games?

34:47But I was just kind of like...

34:48Plus a little more.

34:50And no one had sex, as far as I know.

34:52So...

34:54Yes, you didn't have sex with the husbands, but, like, you didn't just kiss people, though.

34:59You participated in all these things.

35:01I mean, I could just start listening.

35:02We did have sex in the shower with our husbands all together.

35:06We also had sex in the same bed at the same time.

35:10We would blindfold each other, and you would have to guess which husband you were kissing, and a couple of times we did that.

35:16We also had a night where it was just four husbands and you and me.

35:21They asked us to go get in short shorts, so we did.

35:23And then we came down, and we were so drunk.

35:25We were making out, and we were on top of each other, and they all filmed it on their phones.

35:30Um...

35:32I mean, Taylor's not wrong.

35:35At this point, I don't even know if I should say, yes, I am a swinger.

35:38No, I'm not a swinger.

35:39You guys can call it whatever you want.

35:41You tell me if I know or not.

35:43How are you guys feeling about Miranda?

35:45I feel better about Miranda than I feel about Whitney.

35:47When I'm around her, I enjoy being around her.

35:49That's what I'm saying.

35:50Well, I'm glad to hear that maybe you guys are softening on her.

35:52It might be easier since she's around.

35:54Well, I don't have any anger now.

35:56I'm still hesitant of the timing of things and the intentions, and she knows that.

36:00The only thing that makes me nervous is just that she is attaching herself to, like, Jen.

36:04Yes.

36:05I don't know why it makes me nervous.

36:06You attach yourself to us.

36:07Yeah, I'm like, come on, join our group.

36:09I'm just kidding.

36:10I wonder what they're talking about.

36:13Being called a bad friend was, like, what I took really personal.

36:16And so, I guess, like, this is, for me, like, what this is.

36:19I am here and I came here to take accountability.

36:23So, yeah, we've had sex in the same room.

36:27Like, we've had, like, like, we had crazy parties in Mexico.

36:30And I'm like, I don't think you deserve to be lied to.

36:35Yeah, there were a handful of things that happened that I am still, like, yeah, that's so embarrassing.

36:41I'm not going to deny that.

36:42If I could go back, I would have handled everything differently.

36:45I think that I really let the fear of being perceived get the best of me.

36:50I just felt so out of control and so wronged.

36:54It was difficult for me to have a lot of, like, empathy for her.

36:59But I wish that I would have come out with what really did happen.

37:03Rather than denying everything, that probably did make her feel worse and look worse.

37:08And that wasn't my intentions.

37:09It was very much, I'm terrified and I have a reputation as a Mormon to uphold.

37:15And I regret that.

37:16The sooner that we get through these hard conversations, the sooner we can hopefully build a genuine relationship and friendship.

37:24I just want to move on and leave it all behind us for your sake, for my sake, for everyone's sake.

37:31Then I won't make you go into any details.

37:33If you're, like, saying, yeah, we did crazy stuff along with, like, kissing, then that makes sense to me.

37:39I just, yeah, I wanted to make sure we were, like, on the same page.

37:42The same page.

37:43The same page.

37:44I do feel like Miranda is trying to take the steps of admitting the things that she has done and just taking accountability.

37:50I know her very well.

37:51And I think there's a part of her that's very uncomfortable admitting those things, knowing that family and friends are gonna know and see and hear about it.

38:01And it's like, I have a really soft spot for her in my heart.

38:04And I still do love her.

38:07The whole, like, Chase thing and, like, his feelings and all of that was just, like, gut-wrenching.

38:13You know, I'm feeling, like, double betrayal.

38:14Yes.

38:15Betrayal from, like, my husband and from my best friend.

38:17There was just so much that I couldn't do the friendship anymore.

38:20And I understand that that, like, wasn't fair to you.

38:23Given how close we were, I, like, I could see how betraying that would be.

38:28Yeah.

38:29I would be really sad about it.

38:30Yeah.

38:31So I, I hold that on me, too, a lot.

38:34So it's not fair to hold resentment with you because I'm just, like, I was not a good friend at that time.

38:44Sorry.

38:46I was a really bad friend.

38:47And maybe I was a bad person.

38:50And I'm sure Taylor can relate.

38:53But it was a lot.

38:54Things we, we both did to each other.

38:56Yeah.

38:57I feel like that's fair to just let it go.

39:00Like, I'm, like, leave Taylor 2022.

39:03Like, in the past because I feel like I'm a completely different person.

39:06I don't know if you can tell.

39:07But, yeah, I just, like, I do not like that version of myself.

39:10And I think that's why I'm stuck.

39:12I'm, like, not moved on because I'm, like, I don't know.

39:15I don't know, like, I can't even, like, actually talk about it because it's, like, I understand.

39:21I just don't know how someone could be, like, that horrible.

39:24You?

39:25Yeah.

39:26Like, that person I was.

39:27Like, very selfish.

39:28I feel like I was such, like, a good person up until, like, those, like, that time.

39:33And, like, I was so loyal to my husband, to my best friend.

39:37Like, I told him, like, a lot, like, I'm not going to do this because, like, I'm a loyal wife.

39:42And then I think as things went on, like, I was, I got weaker and weaker the more we did it.

39:48I don't know how I did that to him.

39:52And, like, you, I don't know.

39:55I just, I hate her.

39:56Like, I hate her.

39:57Yeah, but Taylor, if you wouldn't, if you weren't her, you wouldn't be where you are now.

40:02Like, you.

40:03Which I don't know.

40:04It's a good thing.

40:05Like, I'm, like, in a knot.

40:07Do you not think that you're better than where you were?

40:09Yeah, I'm a better person.

40:10Hopefully.

40:11Yeah.

40:12Absolutely.

40:13Like, I told you how I've seen it in you.

40:15I think it's more than fair for you to give yourself a little bit of grace.

40:19Miranda and I talking here does make me realize I do miss the friendship.

40:24Her and I have, like, this natural chemistry that we just, like, gravitate towards each other.

40:29And I have never had someone like that.

40:31But I don't know if I want to be her best friend.

40:34Like, obviously, there's a ton of history, so time will tell with that.

40:45I'm losing as I've seen it all.

40:48Losing the fight, creating the fall.

40:50I'm just getting tired of standing tall.

40:54Hey, hey, it's a long way down.

40:58It's a long way down from the earth.

41:01Hello.

41:02Hi, Mikayla.

41:03How the heck have you been?

41:05Busy.

41:06Yeah.

41:07Lots going on.

41:08So, what are you thinking that you want to focus on today?

41:11Maybe retouch on some trauma.

41:14Okay.

41:15Yeah.

41:16So, I'd like to maybe see if we can go back to that 14-year-old, you know, Mikayla.

41:21Who do you think you want to take your power back from the most?

41:24My mom.

41:28I think it's also maybe just becoming comfortable with keeping it in for so long and shoving it down

41:35and the fear of bringing it up as well.

41:38Mm-hmm.

41:39Yeah.

41:40Don't know how to process it, so just keep it down.

41:43Is it getting harder to keep it there?

41:47Are you noticing it have more effects?

41:50Mm-hmm.

41:51Definitely have more effects, I would say.

41:53Notice it spilling out into different relationships or different areas.

42:00Growing up, I think we all kind of inherited the trait of you push everything under the rug, you don't talk about it until it gets to the boiling point.

42:07And for me, it was presenting itself in physical ways, and it was like I couldn't run away from it anymore.

42:13And so I was like, okay, well, I'm just going to go in and I'm going to headstrong, just attack it.

42:18And I still get triggered by it, and I still have the trauma response.

42:21So sometimes to take your power back, we need to do things now that you didn't have a chance to do when you were younger.

42:28Right?

42:29So I want you to channel into the feistiest, snarkiest, meanest, bitchiest piece of yourself.

42:38Okay.

42:39I'm going to represent the person that was abusing you.

42:44And I want you to come at me.

42:46I want you to say what you really feel about me.

42:50Me?

42:51You're a piece of shit.

42:52I can't do it.

42:53Yeah.

42:54I'm like, I can't do it.

42:55What else would you say to me?

42:57I don't know.

42:59I'm not comfortable.

43:01It is uncomfortable, Mikayla, for sure.

43:03It's uncomfortable for you to have to live with us.

43:06But you have a right to say you're peace.

43:09Mm-hmm.

43:10You have a right to say you had no right.

43:15You took advantage of me.

43:19I was a little girl.

43:22And you hurt me in a way you had no business ever putting hands on me.

43:31Mm-hmm.

43:36Yeah, you are a piece of shit.

43:39And you had no right to do it to me.

43:42And take so much from me.

43:45And I feel a lot of hate towards you for it.

43:53I hurt to just not.

43:56You motherfucker.

43:59Amen.

44:03Amen.

44:04Amen.

44:05Is it any lighter?

44:06Is it still just as heavy as ever?

44:08Is it?

44:09I think it's a little lighter, for sure.

44:11Yeah.

44:12It's a little bit lighter.

44:16I think just talking about it is a little healing.

44:19Talking about my past sexual abuse is not easy.

44:22But I feel like there's something really freeing about finally speaking my truth

44:26and expressing these emotions that I've held in for so long.

44:29And it's definitely something that I want to apply to every aspect of my life.

44:33I want to flip the script and break that cycle.

44:36Is it something that you could leave here instead of tucking it back inside of you?

44:41Yeah.

44:42Are you gonna spit up again?

44:43There it is.

44:44That's what you wanted to happen.

44:45Huh?

44:46Huh?

44:47I know.

44:48Hi.

44:49You just had a baby.

44:50I know.

44:51Oh my goodness.

44:52Oh my goodness.

44:53You forget.

44:54Yes.

44:55Every single time you forget.

44:56Here.

44:57Yeah.

44:58Let's go in here.

44:59Is perfect.

45:00No.

45:01Macy and I are visiting Whitney today and just checking on how she's doing postpartum.

45:02Hello.

45:03Hello.

45:04Hello.

45:05Oh my gosh.

45:06You guys are doing the green stuff.

45:07Hi.

45:08Of course we're right.

45:09I wouldn't say I'm like besties with Whitney but I have no issues with Whitney and I'm

45:13here if she needs a friend.

45:14It is tiny.

45:15I know.

45:16It is tiny.

45:17I know.

45:18It's so small.

45:19I know.

45:20I know.

45:21Hi.

45:22Hi.

45:23You just had a baby.

45:24You just had a baby.

45:25I know.

45:26Oh my goodness.

45:27You forget.

45:28Yes.

45:29Every single time you forget.

45:30Here.

45:31Yeah.

45:32Let's go in here.

45:33Is perfect.

45:34No.

45:35Macy and I are visiting Whitney today and just checking on how she's doing postpartum.

45:38Hello.

45:39Oh my gosh.

45:40You guys are doing the green stuff.

45:41Hi.

45:42Of course we're right.

45:43No.

45:44So Whitney reached out to me to get together to kind of just hash everything out.

45:47I feel like I reached out to you like ever so often.

45:49You didn't respond to me and then all of a sudden you posted a personal text online.

45:53And then I'm like what the hell.

45:55So it felt like a stab in the back to be honest.

45:57I wish that I would have just talked to you rather than running away.

46:01And I'm sorry.

46:02I just can't help but feel bad for her.

46:04And I do think that she regrets all of the things that happened.

46:07I mean Jesus told us to forgive and love my neighbor.

46:10So that's why I'm forgiving.

46:11You wanna know what we'll do?

46:12Yeah.

46:13Hi.

46:14He's so freaking cute.

46:16Look at his hair.

46:17Oh.

46:18He might be getting hungry though.

46:19He's like opening his mouth.

46:20I think he's hungry.

46:21I'm glad you're like doing good and you're up and you're like all around which is crazy.

46:26Yeah.

46:27Okay wait.

46:28I have to know what happened at the Halloween party.

46:30Oh gosh.

46:31That was a nightmare.

46:32Maybe we were like a summary.

46:33What happened?

46:34What didn't happen really?

46:35I know Chase showed up because Miranda told me Chase was falling.

46:38Well that's when chaos started.

46:39Okay.

46:40We just started going at him.

46:41Yeah.

46:42Like it was bad.

46:43Dakota's in the middle like believing him.

46:45I'm like why would you believe him when you can see he's lying?

46:47The biggest issue I had at the Halloween party was kind of Dakota not defending me as much

46:53as I thought he would to Chase.

46:54Did you tell me that Jimmy had a sex dream about me?

46:56Yeah.

46:57You never told me that.

46:58Oh you never told him that?

46:59No.

47:00That's crazy.

47:01No she left that out too.

47:02That's really opportunistic.

47:03So yeah.

47:04So that's why I'm saying.

47:05Almost as if he's looking for something to justify like the lies I have found out.

47:10It makes it hard to move forward especially when things like this come up and happen.

47:13It's like it's like almost we take two steps back.

47:16Isn't that crazy?

47:17Can you believe that?

47:18Isn't that crazy?

47:19And then the cops came.

47:20Yeah.

47:21They're all yelling at Chase.

47:22It was crazy.

47:23And I'm like what the hell?

47:24When you give birth it's just you and this baby.

47:27As we're sitting here talking I'm just constantly reminded of how much I miss this.

47:31I miss being around even the other women and I miss us all being together.

47:35Girlfriend's crying.

47:37Miranda's crying.

47:38That's when Jordan freaks out.

47:39He's like take accountability.

47:41Take ownership.

47:42You're bullshit.

47:43Take ownership right now.

47:45That's what I did.

47:46I said no take ownership.

47:47That was wild.

47:48And then I guess she didn't know.

47:49Like it was so weird.

47:50But that's craziness.

47:51That's like insane.

47:53I can't believe I'm about to say this out loud.

47:56I think I want to come back into mom talk.

47:59I've definitely felt very isolated.

48:03It definitely feels like I have no one to turn to right now.

48:09It feels like Jesse and Demi are trying to sabotage me in my relationship.

48:16This whole time you were talking about how you're the supportive friend to me.

48:22If mom talk is about friendship, then why are you doing this to me?

48:23If you truly knew what I have been going through this past year, this is the last thing that

48:27you would be doing.

48:28Hey, I went to the store.

48:29Yeah.

48:30I mean, I'm 10 days late now.

48:31So I think we should.

48:32Yeah.

48:33I'm 10 days late now.

48:34I think we should.

48:35We're going to the store.

48:36And go to the store.

48:37And you know what?

48:38You know what?

48:39Yeah.

48:40And that's the right hand.

48:41Oh my gosh.

48:42I kind of think I know the whole time you were talking about how you're the supportive

48:45friend to me.

48:46If mom talk is about friendship, then why are you doing this to me?

48:49If you truly knew what I have been going through this past year, this is the last thing

48:58that you would be doing.

48:59I think we should, we should take a pregnancy test.

49:05Okay, let's do it.

49:07Okay.

49:08You just want me to wait right here?

49:10Will you come in the bathroom?

49:12Or after I...

49:14Sure, yeah.

49:17Okay.

49:29Do you want to look at it together?

49:31Yeah.

49:45I'm so fine.

49:47I'm really happy looking at this for the mom.

49:52I'm really scared.

49:54I started feeling depressed and anxious because my life has been really rocky and all over the place.

50:07So I am stressed out of my mind with the thought of me being pregnant because Zach and I aren't on the best of terms.

50:21And I think the last thing we need is another baby.

50:26You okay?

50:27I'm okay.

50:28I'm getting sad.

50:35Ready to look at it?

50:36Yeah.

50:44Yeah, I'm pregnant.

50:46Yeah, I'm just scared.

51:01Because I'm not the person I want to be before bringing in another child.

51:07So I'm sad for this child because I don't even know where my marriage is at.

51:18And so I think in this moment, I've kind of come to my breaking point.

51:26Do you want it harder or softer?

51:37Oh, I like that.

51:38Do you ever think you'd be back at a well-talk sex party?

51:43I mean, Miranda's a great kiss.

51:45I just wanted to talk to you guys about like the Halloween situation.

51:49What you guys did was touch my wife without consent.

51:53A few months ago, I got confessions.

51:55It said, I slept with Demi's husband last year while she was away.

51:59Tensions and mom talk have been really high right now.

52:02I feel like so alone with my marriage and we're not with all the girls.

52:07Okay.

52:09Now it's time for you guys to confess.

52:10Something that you've held in that you've never told people.

52:13So many secrets.

52:14Oh!

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