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DRAG☆FOLKS
  • 2 days ago

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00:01Let's wake it up.
00:03Oh, I look fucking puss.
00:06I love this wig. I love this wig.
00:08Thank you, I do too.
00:10Also, if you guys are wondering, like, oh my god,
00:12like, why is Cory just holding this pillow?
00:14It's like a stress ball.
00:15No, my clutch is actually just on full display.
00:19So, I...
00:20Seamen flies and back flies.
00:25Anyway, let's get on to this episode.
00:27This episode is about holidays.
00:30Yes.
00:31Now, do you celebrate Christmas?
00:33Fiercely.
00:34Or you love the Grinch?
00:35Fiercely. I got a big Italian family.
00:36We celebrate the Feast of the Seven Fishes, everything.
00:38Oh, let's give it, okay.
00:39Yeah.
00:40She won't be gaga so bad.
00:41You know, we make the little cookies, the little mozzarels,
00:44the little, little cookies.
00:45We like the thin, crisp cookies.
00:47Do you remember that?
00:48Work.
00:49Do you remember that?
00:50What? No.
00:51You're not a real Italian.
00:52I don't know about you, but for me, Christmas was like,
00:54this was the one time of the year where you can really just,
00:57like, get whatever you want out of your parents.
01:00My dad would be like, the day before, he'd be like,
01:02all right, so write down on the list what you want for Christmas.
01:04And I'd be like, oh, this is the time to go in.
01:07Me and my sister would literally make a page-long list,
01:10and he would come home Christmas Eve, and he'd be like,
01:13all right, you and your sisters stay in the room.
01:15Santa has to wrap the presents.
01:17Hello.
01:18So then it's like 1230.
01:20My dad's just, just, just, high as fucking later on the couch.
01:24Done.
01:25Drunk over it.
01:26And we're like, can we open the presents now?
01:28It's 1230.
01:29My dad's like,
01:30Santa ain't done yet.
01:31You gonna have to wait.
01:33Do you have any favorite Christmas foods?
01:35I love Buckeyes.
01:36These little peanut butter sugar balls.
01:37Eat that up.
01:38Nope.
01:39I hate bitches like this.
01:40Listen, peanut butter and sugar and brown sugar rolled up,
01:43and you dip it in melted chocolate.
01:45It's delicious.
01:46That sounds like heart disease.
01:48Look at me, honey.
01:49Does this look like heart disease, baby?
01:51You know, like, them people that be like,
01:53they be like,
01:54how'd I have diabetes?
01:56I'm only 110 pounds.
01:59Yeah, bitch, because you eat crazy,
02:01and you don't gain weight,
02:02so you didn't know you had diabetes.
02:04Well, I think I balance it out with all of the greens,
02:06the leafy greens.
02:07Which speaking, I do love a little caprese salad
02:10before my turkey on the turkeys.
02:12She just made that up.
02:13A caprese salad?
02:14Are you hearing this?
02:15Do you hear what I live with?
02:19A caprese salad?
02:21I saw your dad's veggie blunts before Christmas, my love.
02:24I was eating food.
02:25I was getting contact high.
02:27I wasn't smoking directly.
02:29Okay, a caprese salad?
02:31That's not real.
02:32If it's real, God, put it on the green screen.
02:36Who are you talking to?
02:37God, if a caprese salad is real,
02:41put it on the green screen.
02:42Right there, babe.
02:45So, in terms of spending Christmas with each other,
02:47This will be our first one.
02:48We had one before, but we were not together.
02:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:55I thought this would be our first ever.
02:57I would love for you to come meet my family.
02:59You know a lot of them.
03:00But I would love for you to come meet my family.
03:02Italian.
03:03Big.
03:04Oh.
03:05Big Italian family.
03:06Eating a caprese salad.
03:08Yes.
03:09Butter, noodles, and oil.
03:10Buckeyes.
03:11And then the seven fishes.
03:12And then we have lots of-
03:13Fish?
03:14Yes.
03:15We will also-
03:16Where are the chicken tenders and fries?
03:17If you want to, like, impress them, though.
03:18And you want to, like, you know.
03:20What?
03:21I gotta eat the food to impress people?
03:24I gotta feel like I'm a fear factor?
03:27I'm not making you eat maggots.
03:29It's spaghetti, for Christ's sake.
03:31Listen, if you make all of this effort to come out
03:33to see me and my family on Christmas,
03:34then I will make sure that there's chicken tenders on the menu.
03:36I'm gonna get an Olympic shot so I'm full.
03:38I will just get you chicken tenders.
03:40Let's not.
03:41I will get you chicken tenders.
03:42Oh.
03:43Do you decorate on Christmas?
03:45Like a cute table runner, some candles, a Christmas tree,
03:48some paintings and stuff.
03:49I love, like, a little snowman that's holding the word snow.
03:52That's so cunt to me.
03:53That's...
03:55wet bitch shit.
03:56My mom-
03:57My mom would literally go to Dollar Tree and go to town.
04:01She would go to town.
04:02She would get a whole cart- I know.
04:04We'll work on it.
04:05We'll work on it.
04:06She would get a whole cart full of nonsense.
04:09Like, I'm talking big snow to go by the window.
04:13Lights around the porch.
04:15But that makes my heart- I love your mom.
04:17That makes my heart-
04:18I hate it.
04:19Cause you wanna know why I hate it?
04:21Cause my mom's that girl.
04:22The Christmas decorations are there till March.
04:25Yes.
04:26Oh, me as well.
04:27Till January, February at least.
04:29So it's like, at this point, we're decorating for a half the year.
04:33But hear me out.
04:34When you're on your deathbed, are you gonna say,
04:35Oh, thank God I took those decorations down?
04:37Yes!
04:40No.
04:41Bitch!
04:42Let your mom be happy.
04:43Leave her alone.
04:44December 26th, that shit's coming down.
04:46Okay.
04:47When we live together in a nice, beautiful house,
04:50December 26th, they're coming down.
04:54Maybe- no, the 31st, please.
04:55Let's bargain here.
04:56Or else the marriage paper is easy.
04:58Just put them in the shredder.
04:59No.
05:00Okay, fine.
05:01But someone else is gonna take them down.
05:02Oh, yeah.
05:03We will hire people to do that.
05:04Yeah.
05:05But I feel as though, New Year's, if your Christmas shit is still up.
05:09Well, I like to decorate for New Year's too.
05:11Like, I wanna feel like, ooh, let's put up some gold decorations.
05:13My mom does that.
05:14Yeah.
05:15She does every season.
05:16I'm like, why is there-
05:17Yes.
05:18Same passion, same decorations?
05:19To feel it.
05:20To feel it.
05:21To feel what?
05:22Happy.
05:23It's that passion's day.
05:24No one's Irish.
05:25What are we celebrating?
05:27Alcohol?
05:28The Irish people.
05:29That's called addiction.
05:34Babe.
05:35Yes.
05:36What is your favorite Christmas movie?
05:37Nightmare Before Christmas.
05:38Yes.
05:40I will accept that.
05:41You said it was your favorite Halloween movie.
05:43It is both.
05:44You watch it on Christmas and Halloween.
05:45Nightmare Before Christmas.
05:47Okay.
05:48Two things to be true at once.
05:49You're a man and a woman.
05:52Now what?
05:53Wow.
05:54I feel jollier already.
05:56Yep.
05:57Um.
05:58Yep.
05:59You look it.
06:00Babe, I'm just kidding.
06:01I'm kidding.
06:02I'm so joking.
06:03Do you have a Christmas wish this year?
06:05I do.
06:06What is it?
06:07I wish-
06:09Don't read me fierce.
06:10Give it to me sweet.
06:11Make it sweet.
06:12No, I just wish that we grow closer and closer and closer.
06:16And stronger and stronger and more visible like the hair on your chest.
06:23Well, okay.
06:24For Christmas, I wish for a long, beautiful relationship and I love you so much.
06:30Aw, thank you.
06:31You fucking bitch.
06:33Shall we sing a song?
06:34A Christmas song?
06:35Yeah, I think we should sing a carol.
06:36Here, grab my ham.
06:37Oh my god.
06:38Dead the halls with boughs of holly.
06:42Uh oh.
06:43La la la la la la la.
06:50La la la.
06:51Oh!
06:52Oh!
06:53Oh!
07:00And happy holidays, happy Merry Christmas.
07:04Happy Kwanzaa, happy Hanukkah.
07:07Have a happy New Year.
07:09And Suzy 2, if you're watching this, fuck you, you old ass, 1920s ass, tap dancing ass,
07:16biting ass bitch.
07:18I hope the dreidel fucking spirals like your mind, you bitch.
07:23We'll see you next year.
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