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Acting Good Season 4 Episode 3

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Fun
Transcript
00:00Hey, Rose.
00:02Yeah?
00:03I have this friend.
00:05I'm gonna stop you right there.
00:07Because you're doing that thing where you say it's your friend's question,
00:10when really it's yours.
00:11Am not.
00:13Okay.
00:14What is this question your totally real friend wants to ask?
00:18Well, my real friend wants to know
00:21what age is a good age for a baby to get tattooed.
00:25What?
00:26What did you do?
00:28Nothing. I told you. It was my friend.
00:31You're lucky, Paul.
00:34Don't you ever, ever ask me again about baby tattoos.
00:37So, I should tell my friend he should wait till his baby's 18 then.
00:42Get out.
00:48Rose said it's not a good idea to get your baby tatted up
00:51till he's at least 18 years old.
00:54I wish you would have told me that sooner.
00:57Jesus Christ!
01:01Maybe put some ice on that!
01:03Yes, I can love you baby
01:07All night long
01:10This is Laughing Stick in the Morning.
01:14Band Counselor Rose is putting together a team of volunteers to represent Grouse Lake at the annual Indigenous Firefighter Games.
01:23Mmm.
01:24I saw a few of them earlier.
01:26And we're gonna need a team of firefighters to put out these firefighters, cause they're smoking.
01:32Mmm.
01:33While I cool off, here's Carrie and the Crotch Crickets with the March of the Hornballs.
01:40Congratulations.
01:41You are all here because you were hand selected by me.
01:46You are the strongest, bravest, fiercest, most physically gifted specimens that Grouse Lake has to offer.
01:54Oh, Rose, I'm so sorry I'm late. I tried to catch a ride from you this morning, but you drove off so fast!
02:01What are you doing here?
02:03What'd you mean? I'm on the team.
02:06Speaking of, I didn't know about this little early morning meeting.
02:10Can we talk over, over here?
02:12Yeah, yeah.
02:13We probably don't want to announce that I'm team captain in front of these guys.
02:18Okay.
02:19How do I say this?
02:20Just tell them that they're all good firefighters, but your babe is the best.
02:25You know what? I should tell them.
02:27Shows good leadership.
02:28No.
02:29No.
02:30Alright everybody, let's huddle in.
02:33Or you guys can just stand there.
02:35Basically, what Rose is afraid to tell you because of nepotism is that I'm team captain.
02:41I thought I was team captain.
02:43Babe, what are we gonna do if he has to fight a fire?
02:46He's gonna tell it to lose weight or his knees will buckle.
02:49This can't be your guy.
02:53Four seconds left. No timeouts. Jordan's got the flu.
02:56Oh, game over.
02:58No way, you totally fouled me.
03:00As if.
03:02Okay, my turn.
03:04If I make this shot, we live happily ever after.
03:08Oh, yeah?
03:09Well, what if you miss?
03:11We live happily ever after.
03:13I like those odds.
03:19We should clean this up.
03:20Why?
03:21I don't know where they are for later.
03:22Oh, crap.
03:23What time is it?
03:24Time for more cheese ball ball?
03:26I was supposed to go live.
03:28Stupid cheese ball ball.
03:34Oh, um, babe, you're in the shot.
03:38Well, where am I supposed to go?
03:40Just to the left.
03:46Here?
03:47Hey, whisper heads.
03:49Sorry, I'm a little late today.
03:52I got caught up playing cheese ball ball.
03:57Sorry, babe.
04:01Chat says that you're still in the shot.
04:09Chat says much better.
04:11Here.
04:12Oh, fuck off.
04:18Good morning, lips.
04:20Or sing as you speak, pig.
04:22No, no, Auntie.
04:24I'm here to see Chief Didi.
04:25Oh, tough luck making bits.
04:26She's in a meeting.
04:27Well, when you see her,
04:30give her these.
04:41What the fuck's all this, then?
04:45I ruined Leon's community garden,
04:47and I need to be reprimanded.
04:48You stomped on a few plants
04:50and phoned in a false bomb threat.
04:52That's light work.
04:53I crossed the line, Hilda.
04:55I know prison guard's more crooked than you.
04:59Whoa.
05:00That's loaded with fresh copper tops.
05:05I'm suspending myself indefinitely.
05:08Holy.
05:11Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:13Yeah!
05:16Babe.
05:17Are you okay?
05:18Yeah.
05:19I'm just doing my vocal warm-ups.
05:20Oh, man.
05:21You know you're pretty loud
05:22if someone whispers for a living.
05:24Thanks.
05:25So, do these yellings happen, like, all the time,
05:28or does that, like, cover it for the year?
05:30Like, a couple times a day.
05:31Depending.
05:32Depending on what?
05:33If you're trying to break glass?
05:35Well, I can do it somewhere else if it's a problem.
05:38But, uh, speaking of problems,
05:40could you, uh, clean up your mess?
05:43Mess?
05:45That's my wardrobe.
05:46That's where I keep everything.
05:48Look, look.
05:49Where's that cheese ball from earlier?
05:53Right where I left it.
05:57Hmm.
05:58There's a redhead.
05:59There's a redhead.
06:03Literal ick.
06:09So the key to any good fire department
06:11is a good firefighter calendar.
06:13And here to take the photo is Roger,
06:16who claims to be a professional photographer
06:18all of a sudden.
06:19All proceeds go towards travel expenses
06:22for your trip to Winnipeg.
06:24Okay.
06:25Everyone,
06:26take your shirts off,
06:28and then I'll get started oiling you up.
06:30Oof.
06:32Uh, Roger?
06:33Huh?
06:34Professionalism?
06:35Oh, right.
06:37Everybody,
06:38take their shirts off.
06:40Except Paul.
06:41Actually, maybe, uh, layer up.
06:43You're kinda killing the vibe.
06:44Everybody keep their shirts on.
06:47I can't believe I just said that.
06:50Uh.
06:51Okay.
06:52Gather around.
06:55Paul?
06:56Could you step a little to the right?
07:02How about here?
07:03Maybe just a little more.
07:07Little more?
07:10Little more.
07:11Say cheese.
07:14Hey, look.
07:27A piggy in a blanket.
07:31Jeez, lips.
07:33It stinks like solitary confinement in here.
07:36Here.
07:37Here.
07:39It's a recipe I got from Stoney.
07:41Careful.
07:42There's a hacksaw blade in there.
07:45Bad boys don't deserve fresh bread.
07:47Oh, come on, lips.
07:49It's no fun with you moping around.
07:52Arrest me, would you?
07:53I just broke into your house.
08:00Without the law.
08:02Who am I?
08:03Why?
08:04We're like Batman and the Joker.
08:09Bye, Nen.
08:15Man, we keep getting third-partied by these sweaty scrubs.
08:19Just do quick play.
08:20No roll cue.
08:22Hey, guys.
08:24Could you save the game and do another ses tomorrow?
08:27After all, it is, like, 9 PM.
08:29Didn't know we were in an elders' lodge.
08:32Holy, your old lady's just a real old lady.
08:38Uh, uh...
08:40Hey, guys, let's pack this up.
08:42Thanks for defending me.
08:52I was gonna say something, but then they just took off.
08:58You know what?
09:00I'm gonna track them down at one of their houses
09:03and give them peace of my mind.
09:05And, um...
09:07It might take a while, so...
09:10Don't wait up.
09:12I'm just...
09:13I'm just so mad right now.
09:17Babe!
09:19Shush!
09:20I just got PJ to sleep.
09:22What was with all that backing out of the picture stuff?
09:25I'm starting to think that you don't want me on the team anymore.
09:29No, that's not true.
09:30I can handle it.
09:32Being a father has put everything into perspective.
09:35I'm way more mature now.
09:38Okay, then.
09:40You're not on the firefighting team.
09:42What the fuck?!
09:44PJ!
09:45Wake up!
09:46You gotta hear what your mom just said to me!
09:48Just got him to sleep.
09:49Well, you should've thought of that before you broke both our hearts.
09:52Oh, my God.
09:53I can't just pick my own boyfriend.
09:55It looks bad.
09:56Oh, you hear that, PJ?
09:57I'm off the team because it looks bad.
10:04Nice going.
10:05Now I got two crying babies.
10:07No!
10:08No!
10:18Where you going, new fish?
10:21I'm here to see Councillor Rose.
10:24Rose, you got a visitor.
10:26Conjugal visit, hey?
10:29Babe, is that you?
10:32Who is this babe you speak of?
10:34I am a concerned citizen, and I'm here to make an official complaint to Chief and Council.
10:41Is this about the firefighting team?
10:43Because that wasn't personal.
10:44Oh, yeah?
10:46Yeah, you're just terribly out of shape.
10:48That sounds personal.
10:50Okay, then. You're amazingly out of shape.
10:53That sounds very personal.
10:55Look, Paul, I really, really want to win.
10:58And these guys are our best shot.
11:00We'll see about that.
11:01Because I'm going to go and find my own team.
11:03And then later today, we'll face off.
11:05And then the winner's team gets to go to the most wonderful place in the world.
11:10Winnipeg.
11:12All right. Bring it on.
11:13Oh, it's on.
11:15Oh, babe, don't forget, later today for lunch, Stephen Harper made the most amazing stew.
11:21Hey, hey, hey.
11:23Concerned citizens get handshakes.
11:25Mmm.
11:28Psych!
11:34Hey, so I was going to go to Yemen's later.
11:37They're doing 20% off used hams.
11:39You want one?
11:40You want to watch a movie later?
11:46Crave has this documentary on the rise and fall of canned ham.
11:50Nothing?
11:52Those are some pretty good ham jokes.
11:59Are you giving me the silent treatment?
12:02Right, fine then. Two can play the silent game.
12:10Right, it's on. No talking, no sounds, no nothing.
12:14Welcome to the warm-up event for the Indigenous Firefighter Games.
12:22And if you're like me, you got here incredibly early to watch.
12:26In a surprise twist, Paul put together a team of his own, and the demonstration is actually a competition!
12:34You're playing with fire, Paul.
12:36Yeah, that's the plan.
12:38Oh, I'm also going to need to ride home later, baby.
12:41Yeah, of course.
12:42Thanks, babe.
12:43Let the Games begin!
12:46Yeah!
12:48Oh my God!
12:49Yeah!
12:56Oh, my God!
12:58Yeah!
12:59Yeah!
13:00Yeah!
13:01Oh!
13:02Whoa!
13:03Oh, God!
13:04Oh, God!
13:05Oh, God!
13:07Yeah!
13:08Oh!
13:09Oh!
13:10Oh!
13:11Oh!
13:12Oh!
13:13Chickadee, you there?
13:26Chickadee, it's Cuckoo, let me in.
13:29I want to give you $100 in something called a PS5 Pro.
13:36All you need to do is give me a sign that you're in there.
13:41Anything.
13:43One little knock and it's all yours.
13:47Okay then.
13:56Yeah!
14:02Yeah!
14:04Come on!
14:05Okay.
14:06Okay.
14:07Okay.
14:08Woo!
14:10Woo!
14:33Oh! Oh!
14:35Oh, my right foot!
14:37Oh, my lucky foot!
14:38My lucky right foot!
14:46Nobody move!
14:47I'm gonna steal all your valuables.
14:50Help yourself.
14:51Unless somebody can arrest me...
14:55If I think of anyone, I'll let you know.
14:58For fuck's sakes, Lips, this is a break and enter!
15:01That's nice.
15:03Okay, then.
15:04What about this?
15:12Does that fire you up?
15:14No, not really.
15:16Okay, what about loitering?
15:18Will you arrest me for...
15:20hanging out?
15:22Loitering?
15:23That's an offense punishable by...
15:25Stop it, Auntie.
15:27Oh, looks like I found a pulse.
15:36Oops!
15:38I did a littering!
15:40That's it.
15:41That's a violation of the Environment Act Section 2.7.
15:45But I thought you weren't a cop.
15:47I'm not.
15:49But I'm making a citizen's arrest.
15:51Come with me.
15:52You got me, copper.
15:55Just don't send me back to Stony Mountain.
15:58Yes!
15:59Ah!
16:00I win.
16:01In your face, sucker.
16:02Real mature, Chickadee.
16:03You're just cheese because I outquieted the quietest person ever.
16:07Why don't you just grease yourself up and slither out the window like you always do?
16:11That was only, like, three times.
16:12Go eat cheese balls off the floor.
16:13Well, I don't really like ASMR.
16:14You so do.
16:15I am just so relaxed right now.
16:16John.
16:17John.
16:18John.
16:19John.
16:20John.
16:21John.
16:22John.
16:23John.
16:24John.
16:25John.
16:26John.
16:27John.
16:28John.
16:29John.
16:30John.
16:31John.
16:32John.
16:33John.
16:34John.
16:35John.
16:36John.
16:37John.
16:38John.
16:39John.
16:40John.
16:41John.
16:42John.
16:43John.
16:44John.
16:45John.
16:46John.
16:47John.
16:48John.
16:49John.
16:50John.
16:51John.
16:52John.
16:53John.
16:54John.
16:55John.
16:56John.
16:57John.
16:58John.
16:59John.
17:00John.
17:01John.
17:02John.
17:03John.
17:04John.
17:05John.
17:06John.
17:07John.
17:08John.
17:09So far, Rose's team has been beautiful, absolutely gorgeous, just pummeling the ugly team.
17:19Each team has to carry a bucket without losing any water and use it to hit the target.
17:25The winner shoots the target down first, the loser, Paul's team.
17:31Let's get this over with.
17:39And the hearts beat the nuts!
18:00Hey there, babe. Or is it concerned Citizen Paul?
18:04It's your babe.
18:06Sorry we beat you guys so badly.
18:08It's fine.
18:10It's just that I can't have my babe fighting fires. It's dangerous. And you're a dad now.
18:15Yeah, I guess it would be pretty hard to be a cool, kick-ass dad and fight fires at the same time.
18:20And there's no shame in losing to Grouse Lake's finest.
18:25Fire! Fire! A ridiculously small fire.
18:31Fire team, you know what to do!
18:33Save yourself! Save me!
18:36Come back here, you cowards!
18:39Stand back, babe. It's fucking hero time.
18:43Losers, assemble!
18:48You got this.
18:53Babe, it's too dangerous.
18:55If I don't make it out alive, tell PJ I love him.
19:00Just go already. The wieners are gonna burn.
19:07Fire, you're fucking out!
19:09You're my hero.
19:12Does this mean I get to come to Winnipeg now?
19:14Hell no. We're still gonna send the hotties.
19:17The important thing is that I love you.
19:20Uh, counselors get handshakes.
19:27Do you think we can salvage any hot dogs?
19:30There you are.
19:34Look, I'm really sorry I told you to suck my toe all the way to Standing Buffalo.
19:42It's fine.
19:44No, it wasn't.
19:46It was way too far.
19:48Standing Buffalo's like miles away.
19:50I'm sorry for that whole thing I said about Bannock and Lard.
19:56I don't know where that came from.
19:58I deserved it.
20:00Is it true that you don't like ASMR?
20:04I like it.
20:06I don't love it.
20:08Are we breaking up?
20:13I thought this was just a fight.
20:15Seriously?
20:16Me too.
20:18I guess it was bound to happen.
20:20You're a bittern and I'm a buttern.
20:22Yeah.
20:24I guess it would be weird if we didn't fight.
20:27It's in our blood.
20:29Oh.
20:30Our first fight.
20:33To many more.
20:36Yo.
20:38Fucking doing this or what?
20:40Get the fuck out of here.
20:42Yep.
20:50Well, look who's back.
20:56Thanks, Auntie.
20:58I know we have our differences.
21:00But it means a lot to me to know that you care.
21:02Hey, keep it down.
21:03You crazy?
21:05I can't be seen talking to the fuzz.
21:07Can I at least get my tactical illumination devices back?
21:09No can do lips.
21:11Looks like you actually are suspended now.
21:14What do you mean?
21:15Well, you said you suspended yourself.
21:17But as far as Chief Didi is concerned, you skipped work and didn't tell anyone.
21:22Really?
21:23You gotta have rules lips.
21:25Wake up now, Indian agent man.
21:35Wake up now, things are out of hand.
21:39Wake up now, Indian agent man.
21:43Wake up now, things are out of hand.
21:46Wake up now, Libby on a phone call.
22:00Good show.
22:01We'll see you again next time.
22:02Bye everyone.
22:07Bye everyone.
22:08Bye.
22:10Bye.
22:11Bye.
22:13Bye.
22:14Bye.
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