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Acting Good Season 4 Episode 4

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Transcript
00:00lips you made me drop everything just to come see this it's bad right no not at all i've seen
00:12this almost one times before today it's graffiti tomorrow total gang war why do you think this
00:20will turn into a gang problem well rose the writing's on the
00:24it's work oh man let me say that again say what again i had the best line like in one of those
00:32cop shows say the gang thing again i've got shit to do lips just say it again
00:37then can i go hurry my knees hurt oh for fuck's sakes okay why do you think this will turn into
00:45a gang problem well rose the writing's on the
00:50breaking news a rather unsavory word has been written on a wall right here in grouse lake
01:04for professionalism's sake i won't repeat it but the word is weenock which means balls or dick
01:11or the general junk area we urge all residents to close your eyes when driving by elmer shed
01:18or risk being slightly offended in other news the lagoon is full so hold your deuces until further
01:26notice ma bib bj
01:31dearest paul we're all out the house is all yours
01:36i just waxed the floor so please don't wear the new socks i just bought you love i mean no like
01:43no i mean love yeah stephen harper fuck you stephen harper time to fuck around with my fuck around time
01:51hey excuse me come on man i'm almost done you really need to pay for these
02:09the song hasn't even picked yet bro fine i'll go to the north store
02:14can't you just ask her i tried her man
02:18fine you're paying for your groceries you happy now
02:25yeah real happy
02:28ow why isn't anyone helping me
02:44paul are you okay no i'm not okay do i look okay i heard you crying from across the res
02:52here let me get you up
02:54no don't touch me with your dweeb hands but i need to get you to the nursing station
02:58i need rose she fixes everything you need medical attention
03:02you're just gonna get me to take my shirt off and try to touch my body
03:07it's a normal medical practice
03:08sorry doctor pervert rose is the only one that understands my pain
03:12hurt and that's domino
03:14okay but how am i supposed to get you up if you won't move
03:17you're the one that went to medication school
03:19you figure it out
03:21hurry up man it hurts
03:25there you are
03:30fuck lips
03:32if we don't get on this graffiti thing it's gonna get serious
03:34give it up lips
03:36first it's the ween at graffiti
03:38then moose tipping
03:40next robocop 3
03:42this is the res
03:43we have like three computers
03:45combined
03:46that's what they said on robocop 2 before robocop 3 happened
03:49we don't have a gang problem
03:51yet
03:52what do you want to do about it
03:53we need to find the biggest scariest former gang member
03:57bring them in and scare these kids straight
03:59and where are we gonna find that
04:02right here
04:03you probably heard of the south side crazies
04:07and if you haven't let me refresh your memory
04:10we were the baddest broads
04:13completely lawless
04:14the whole res was terrified
04:16and we loved it
04:18whoa
04:20if my gang life
04:22can steer even one youth towards a better future
04:25then it's worth it
04:27well
04:27we do have some extra money in the budget for outreach
04:31it won't be easy
04:32but i'll dust off the leathers and round up the gang
04:35all right schlub club
04:36both of you want the job
04:38but only one of you gonna get it
04:40you
04:41didn't they tell you to go fuck yourself three years ago
04:43yeah man
04:44well
04:44did you do it
04:46yeah man
04:47good
04:47you're in the lead
04:49now listen up
04:51if you're a bitin' down
04:53corn-fed
04:53uptight
04:54marshmallow motherfucker
04:55then go to the north store
04:57this is the yeah man
04:59didn't expect to see you here
05:03sir i'm late
05:05i slipped in
05:05late huh
05:08shows no initiative
05:10it actually takes
05:13initiative
05:14i like that
05:17all right
05:20let's see what you got
05:23what are you waiting for
05:26clean up
05:27right away
05:28hard work don't pay
05:30but it keeps you
05:32out of my way
05:33bab
05:35why are you in our bed
05:40i fell help
05:41i'm working
05:42i told him
05:44to come to the nursing station
05:46just do what the nurse says
05:48he's not a nurse
05:49he's a pervert
05:50nurses aren't perverts
05:52thanks rose
05:53he keeps saying that
05:54and it hurts my feelings
05:56shut up logan
05:57i'm the one that's hurt
05:58just do what logan says
06:00and you'll be fine
06:02so you don't want to help me
06:04paul
06:04i love you
06:05but you have help
06:07and i'm working
06:08logan take him to the nursing station
06:10fine
06:11but i gotta make a couple stops first
06:14and all of this you pulling me around is making me thirsty
06:17and watch out for all the bumps man
06:20i'm getting carsick
06:22i'm not here to point fingers at you
06:25especially you
06:26even though we know you did it
06:28but this crime wave has got to stop
06:30which is why we brought in the south side crazies
06:33they're hardened ex-gang members
06:35and they're gonna scare you straight
06:38aha
06:46we're gonna have to dig deep
06:50see this scar
06:54i got it from a card game gone wrong
06:59what happened
07:00were you cheating
07:01paper cut
07:02new deck of cards
07:05i was reckless
07:07now i have to live with this scar
07:08for the rest of my life
07:11uh
07:11why don't you tell the kids
07:13about one of your deadly crimes
07:15you want deadly
07:16eh
07:17i remember
07:18this one time
07:19it was about 7 p.m
07:21the devil's hour
07:23guess what
07:28right before they answered
07:30we ran away
07:32on purpose
07:34twice
07:35whoa
07:36goose bumps
07:38forget this
07:44we just cleaned the store for you
07:46because you're lazy
07:47uh
07:48no
07:49actually
07:51this is a test
07:52yeah sure it is
07:54i'm out of here
07:55yeah man
07:57more like weird guy
07:59well go fuck yourselves then
08:01so do i get the job
08:02your training has just begun
08:05meet me at the river
08:06for phase one
08:09you know you shouldn't eat those
08:19and yet
08:22here we are
08:24okay well
08:26so the good news is
08:31the x-rays show that your back and your ankle they're both fine
08:34you're right
08:34this is good news
08:36but
08:36oh
08:38your cholesterol is dangerously high
08:41isn't that the shit they put in
08:42a margarine
08:43paul
08:44your blood is basically gravy
08:47i don't mean that i don't mean that in a good way
08:50nurse logan
08:51what are you trying to say man
08:52i'm saying
08:53you know a little diet
08:55a little exercise
08:58you know
08:58it'll be better than ever
09:00oh
09:00a little diet
09:02a little exercise you say
09:04yes
09:05i've heard enough
09:06take me home
09:08you're actually fine
09:09you can totally walk
09:11you won't take me
09:12huh
09:12fine
09:13yeah
09:14you called
09:16yes sir
09:17are you a fan of
09:18fifty dollars
09:19actually yeah
09:20yeah i am
09:22good
09:23you're my new nurse logan
09:25take me home immediately
09:26sorry logan
09:28this guy goes where the money flows
09:31bye bye
09:32hey leon what's up
09:36you're late man
09:38for what
09:39you said meet me by the river
09:40phase one
09:41but am i late
09:43or do you lack the wisdom
09:44to know what i was doing
09:46so you did forget
09:47no
09:47the first test was patience
09:49and you clearly didn't pass
09:51for real fuck
09:52for real fuck
09:53but that's okay
09:54the next test
09:56begins now
09:58where are we going
09:59uh
10:00phase two
10:03all right
10:07that's it
10:08i'm fucking done bro
10:12it's like you gained weight
10:14since we started
10:14what do you mean
10:15you're fucking done
10:16the deal was to
10:17wheel me home
10:18no chance man
10:19where's my fifty
10:20no completion
10:21no cash
10:22dumb guy
10:23oh there you are
10:24oh hey
10:26look who it is
10:27my favorite niece now
10:28hey
10:29you wanna make fifty bucks
10:31you can't keep living the way you are paul
10:33that sounds like a challenge man
10:34i see those kids over there
10:36playing with their dads
10:38they're so fun
10:39so free
10:41you're so connected
10:42what's it to you
10:44that could be you and pj
10:45but only if you make some changes
10:48and you're willing to help me
10:49i'll make it my mission
10:51okay fine
10:52but wheel me into the shade first
10:54i'm starting to get hot
10:54and my belly's starting to sweat a little bit
10:56and then when mrs harper got on the phone
11:08we hung up
11:10didn't even think twice about it
11:12god that's cold
11:13the first time we did it
11:15it really messed me up
11:17but after a while
11:19i just did it for the thrill
11:21we were all different then
11:26you're brave for sharing that
11:28hilda
11:32you're hurting me
11:33okay let's take a break
11:37i think you need some time to recover
11:39yeah
11:40that's a good idea
11:41okay
11:42okay no offense
11:46but your stories are kind of undeadly
11:49wake it in
11:50yeah
11:51prank calls
11:52fart noises
11:52staying up past your bedtime
11:54we rode our bikes
11:57without thalamus once
11:58i'm worried that we're losing them
12:02do you go one end again
12:04we'll crank it up a notch
12:06really scared his little asshole straight
12:09behold phase two
12:17we look ridiculous bro
12:20what you're feeling is humility
12:22that is what water karate has taught me
12:26and what i am going to teach you
12:28i learned karate in jail bro
12:29and trust me
12:30there was no water
12:32you think this is stupid eh
12:33knock it off
12:34it's cold
12:35relax your mind
12:39cousin leon
12:40feel the water
12:41this is where we're born
12:43where we return
12:45and what we make sweet red juice with
12:48where are you
12:48this is a time of cleansing
12:51fight me
12:52and wash away your old self
12:54don't fuck
12:56good
12:57you're becoming one with the water
12:59i'm ready to learn
13:02then
13:04show me
13:06i don't think we should be watching this bro
13:18there let's do some stretches
13:29do you want to feel it right here
13:43the next step is forgiveness
13:45how is it going to help me work in your store
13:47lock on that door and find out
13:49you're freaking me out man
13:52to enter yemen
13:53you must be free of your past
13:55is this a cult
13:56or a part-time job
13:58what the fuck are you doing here
14:03nikki
14:03remember
14:04seek forgiveness
14:05and you shall be free
14:07whatever dean
14:07i ought to pop you one
14:09right in the lie hole
14:11um
14:12the nerve
14:13to just shack up
14:14and then ghost me like that
14:16who's gonna leave a note
14:18a note
14:19you stole my washing machine
14:22and you left a dead crow in my freezer
14:26look
14:27i want to say sorry
14:30sorry
14:33sorry
14:36sorry
14:40sorry
14:41sorry
14:43and
14:45i got you a new washing machine
14:47and
14:48take the crow out of your freezer
14:51okay fine
14:53now
14:55take a long walk
14:56off a short dock
14:57phase three is complete
15:06one time
15:10we knocked over
15:11a credit union
15:12with nothing but nylons
15:15on our heads
15:16and a bag of
15:17homemade bricks
15:18we robbed the casino
15:20and we doubled the money
15:22at the slots
15:23on the way out
15:24we had so much
15:25zhonya
15:25we had to stash it
15:27in a hollowed out moose
15:29it was nothing but
15:30fancy clothes
15:32and fast cars
15:33diamond bracelets
15:35and gold bars
15:36money stacking
15:38all night
15:39we were living large
15:41oh yeah
15:42kind really does pay
15:44i didn't even want to be in a gang before
15:47but now that's all i want
15:49anish dashi way
15:50you have now entered
15:54phase four
15:56fucking weirdo
16:01help
16:04fiendpool
16:06twisted her ankle
16:08hauling water jugs
16:10shit let's go
16:11hurry up
16:12okay nice try
16:16nice try what
16:17i leave the store alone
16:18and fail phase four
16:19people stuck in the mud
16:21but dean
16:22he was nuts
16:23with the water karate
16:24but this
16:25is good
16:26jesus boy
16:27sorry gramps
16:28i got a store to look after
16:29and that's
16:34how you pass a fucking test
16:35boom
16:36goes the explosion
16:38all right then
16:39phase four
16:40pinata time
16:42but i just passed phase four
16:43what
16:43gramps came in begging me to
16:45help beanpole
16:46but
16:46i stayed put
16:48no man phase four is a party
16:49we're gonna bust open a pinata
16:51so i got the job
16:52yeah man
16:53um
16:53should we go save beanpole
16:55we'll get there
16:56let's see what's inside this thing first
16:58that's it
17:01i can't do this
17:02you were supposed to follow along
17:04i did
17:04for like two seconds
17:06this was the closest i've ever been
17:08to even thinking about working out
17:09i'm sorry
17:10i know i said i'd help you
17:11but i can't
17:12i quit
17:13man
17:13we were so close
17:15maybe it's me
17:16maybe i am just
17:18terrible perverted nurse
17:20hey man
17:21take a look over there
17:23tell me
17:24what do you see
17:27some nurses
17:29playing in the park
17:30and don't you want to be
17:32just like them
17:34so fun
17:35so free
17:37yeah
17:39i do
17:40i don't know what i was thinking
17:42i'm sorry
17:42of course i do
17:43yeah there's my nurse
17:45now
17:46pull me to the store
17:47i want to celebrate with some chips
17:49and some bepsi
17:50you're impossible
17:53actually
17:53make it two bepsis
17:55on the account
17:55of all the exercising you did
17:57did you get that
17:58nurse logan
18:00logan
18:02so
18:03where do i go
18:05to join a gang
18:06do you have to sign up
18:07i want it so bad
18:08whoa whoa whoa
18:09i think
18:11what the crazy's
18:12meant to say
18:13is that crime
18:14doesn't pay
18:15right
18:16i'll say what you want
18:17for the right price
18:18my gangster name's
18:20gonna be jimmy calzones
18:22i want to be jimmy calzone
18:23nobody's gonna be a calzone
18:25you want to know
18:28what the gang life
18:29is really like
18:31i was deep in it
18:33k.k.i.a
18:34yeah
18:35big time
18:36what was your gang name
18:38oh
18:38uh
18:39tony capone
18:41cool
18:42no
18:43it's not cool
18:44that's the point
18:45see this arm
18:49fake
18:50lost it in a machete fight
18:53over a scratch ticket
18:54i've been in and out of jail
18:55so many times
18:56they named a wing after me
18:58the uh
19:00tony capone wing
19:01shit
19:02and
19:03i almost let that life
19:05get the best of me
19:06the
19:07the shootings
19:08and the robbings
19:09and the uh
19:11the murderings
19:12then what
19:13then
19:14i met paul
19:15the love of my life
19:17wait
19:18so you're saying
19:20if we join a gang
19:21we might end up
19:22with someone like paul
19:23doesn't he wash
19:24a g in a sink
19:25okay
19:26that was one and a half times
19:28forget it
19:29let's go blue
19:30a life of crime
19:31is no life for me
19:32can't even tell the difference
19:42oh you really just gave up on me eh
19:50after everything we just been through
19:53how dare you
19:55wait wait wait wait wait
19:56how did you get here
19:57oh
19:57wouldn't you like to know
19:59and since you do
20:01i
20:02walked
20:03so i got you to exercise
20:05oh don't try and change the subject my friend
20:07no walking is exercise
20:09even if it's angry walking
20:10any walking
20:11the point is
20:12you just made your first steps to becoming healthier
20:14and i
20:15inspired you to do it
20:17why are you making that face
20:18just
20:18just
20:19just a hug
20:19no
20:20everyone knows that hugs are just a gateway for you
20:24to ask me to take off my shirt
20:26you're walking
20:29are you still walking
20:31ah
20:33i did that
20:34all right man
20:38taking off early
20:39water cry time
20:41let's go
20:41wait is this another test
20:42no test bro
20:43you already passed
20:44we're just gonna shut the store down and
20:46go splash fight
20:47yeah man
20:48i do it all the time
20:49look
20:50for real
20:51in the middle of the day
20:52but we got work to do
20:55i'm sorry
20:57are you some kind of
20:59button down
21:01corn fed
21:02uptight
21:03marshmallow motherfucker
21:04let's fucking go bro
21:11all right
21:12hello
21:17hello
21:20hello
21:20i'm still here
21:23oh you dreamed of something like this
21:30all my life
21:34all my own
21:36messing around
21:37where i could be
21:39every damn night
21:41it's all the same
21:44won't be long
21:45before i'm back again
21:47but i just can't stay away
21:51now when the sun is down my chest
21:55now i just can't stay away
21:58even though
21:59even though
22:00even though
22:01you
22:02you
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