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00:00Wheat's Nancy Botwin began the show as a very sympathetic figure,
00:04newly widowed and left to figure out how to keep her family afloat while struggling with her own
00:08grief. But over the course of the show's eight seasons, a different, darker side of Nancy made
00:13itself more and more apparent. She remained entertaining to watch, but became harder and
00:19harder to side with. By leaning into her anti-hero nature, instead of pulling back and softening her
00:25edges, the show managed to create a portrait of a complex, messy woman, and the more sinister sides
00:31of her personality that caused her to harm everyone around her in her quest for more.
00:36So what does Nancy's story really reveal about the reality of diving into the darkness
00:41to chase a high you can never really catch? Let's take a deeper look.
00:45I'm the suburban baroness of Bud, Nancy.
00:49When we first meet Nancy, she's attempting to work her way out of a tight spot. Her husband,
00:54Judah, recently died of a heart attack, leaving her alone to raise their two sons and bear the
01:00burden of keeping the family financially afloat. Before Judah's passing, the family had just sunk
01:05a lot of their money into a home renovation, at the time assuming they'd just be able to pay it
01:10off over the years. But when Breadwinner Judah died, Nancy had to quickly figure out how to shift
01:15from housewife to sole provider. To make ends meet, she turned to an under-the-table source of
01:20income, selling weed to her neighbors in her Los Angeles suburb.
01:24I grow and sell marijuana. It's organic. It's therapeutic. It's of the earth. Like tomatoes.
01:36While weed has become more normalized in recent years, in 2005 it was still rather transgressive,
01:41particularly in the affluent echelon of society that Nancy existed in. Her new job gave her something
01:47else to focus her thoughts on, something that could pull her out of her grief and her worries
01:51about her children. And it also allowed her to make the most of some of her best qualities,
01:55like her confidence and personable nature, as well as some parts of herself that had been slowly
02:00fading away, like her independence. But it also starts to bring out some of the darker sides of
02:06her nature as well, like her manipulative streak and desire to seek out thrills. She tells herself,
02:13and others, that everything she's doing is okay because at the end of the day, she's doing it for
02:18her family. She contends that, because she's not the greatest parent in the world, the best thing
02:33she can do for her sons is at least set them up for life financially. But it doesn't take too long
02:39before we begin to see how often she's willing to take the selfish path that hurts others,
02:44including her own children, for her own gain.
02:47You need to stop hanging out with bad people. The man set a town on fire.
02:52All for a reason not to piss him off.
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03:57This story might, on its face, sound a little familiar to you. And if so, you're not alone.
04:03Nancy's arc shares many similarities with that of Breaking Bad's Walter White. They're both normal,
04:08seemingly unassuming people who allow their desire for power and thrills to drive them and everyone
04:14in their orbit to destruction. While the entire time, they tell themselves that they're really
04:19doing everything for noble reasons. In an article he wrote for Newsweek, Breaking Bad creator Vince
04:24Gilligan even noted that he almost gave up on pitching the show when it was pointed out how
04:29similar his idea was to Weeds. At least on paper. It was explained to me that Weeds was a Showtime
04:34show, new that season. In it, a suburban mom decides to throw her law-abiding life of propriety
04:40to the wind and make quick cash for her family by trying her hand at drug dealing. Hearing this,
04:45I could feel the blood drain from my face. But, as he noted, the shows were able to differentiate
04:50themselves because they approach their subject matter from very different directions. Weeds
04:55aiming for comedy, Breaking Bad aiming for drama. Breaking Bad and Weeds turned out to be different
05:00enough, if not on paper, than in execution. It seems that, for a writer at least, marijuana and
05:05meth are the psychopharmaceutical equivalents of Greek comedy and tragedy masks. One leads its
05:10characters to laughter, the other to tears. And while Weeds does approach its story from a much more
05:16light-hearted angle, it does still work to unpack the destructive nature of how far Nancy is willing
05:21to go to feed her own narcissism and a need for excitement. How am I supposed to put food on my
05:27table if you keep upping my debt? Get a f***ing job. Nancy initially takes some desperate measures to
05:33get herself and her family out of the sticky situation they find themselves in. What am I doing?
05:38You're doing what all of us are doing, baby. You're getting by. But it soon becomes about much more
05:43than that to her. An adrenaline junkie her entire life, she comes to find that she loves the thrill
05:49of danger that comes with dealing. She tries to go kind of legit with her dealing by opening a bakery
05:54to sell out of, and at various points takes on safer, regular jobs to distance herself from the real
06:00danger. Today, it was brought to my attention that the downside of this business is death. I'm not
06:06thinking about the bakery, I'm thinking about enrolling in dental hygiene school so my children
06:11aren't orphans. But no matter how dire things get, she can't stop herself from not only returning to
06:18dealing, but also trying to climb the ladder within the cartel world. I got what the world would call
06:23a normal, boring job. I wake up in the morning, take my brain out of my skull, and place it in a drawer.
06:31Like with Walter, it isn't about the drugs themselves, but the power that being in control
06:36of them provides. She doesn't want the stability of a normal job. She wants the thrill of danger,
06:42and the rush of power she gets when she's in that world.
06:46I'll get your tooth back. I keep your tooth. I drill a tiny hole in it, and wear it around my neck.
06:53I become your god. In chasing this high, she's willing to hurt anyone else in her life if it gets
06:58her closer to her goal. She screws over pretty much everyone she comes into contact with without a
07:03second thought. Her combined buffers of privilege, being white, upper middle class, and attractive,
07:08combined with her viewing herself as the center of the world, means she's able to both overlook
07:12much of the damage she causes, and skate out of some very precarious situations. She's also willing
07:18to make huge decisions that impact everyone around her on a whim, because it's what she feels is best
07:24for her. Like when she decides to burn down the family home so that she can have her moment of
07:30closure. To be fair to Nancy, there was already a wildfire moving its way towards the house.
07:35But instead of using the chance she got to sneak back in to grab anything that might be important
07:39to her children, she instead lights it all on fire, so that she can begin letting go and moving on.
07:45It's a function of her need to rest a feeling of power and control over situations that feel like
07:50they're spiraling out of her grasp. The raging wildfire doesn't get to destroy her things,
07:55because she already has. Nancy's rather selfish and reckless nature, unsurprisingly,
08:01causes a lot of strain in her relationships. She was always rather distant from her kids to some
08:06degree, but the further she dives into the cartel life, the more she's willing to put them and their
08:11futures at risk, even as she continues to tell herself that she's doing everything for them.
08:16There's clearly a simmering guilt within Nancy that Judah was the better parent, and now the kids are
08:21worse off for being left with her. But instead of trying to do the best she can for them,
08:26she can't stop herself from turning down the dangerous paths that are most thrilling to her.
08:32The wrong parent died! And you know what? Tough as shit!
08:36Her romantic relationships are fraught, to say the least, as well. She has a running
08:40situationship with Andy, Judah's brother, throughout the show. While they do care for one another on some
08:45level, they create a toxic cycle of constantly pulling each other back into their worst habits.
08:51You helped me when I was lost. Gave me a home, family, and purpose. I'll always be grateful to you.
08:59And I'll always, always love your parents, but I can't be near you.
09:03But Nancy's biggest relationship isn't with any man, or even herself, but with that hit of adrenaline
09:09that she's constantly pushing the envelope to feel. Over the show's run, Nancy's antics spun further
09:15and further out of control, as she chased increasingly higher highs. But she also evolved
09:22to meet the new challenges she faced. But growth is never really linear. Because the boundaries of
09:28life Nancy was afforded by society were so wide, she seldom bumped up against real issues that her
09:34privilege couldn't pull her out of. This stunted her growth in many ways, things that would often lead
09:39to one learning the air of their ways and deciding to make some life changes, like going to jail or
09:44getting shot in the head, don't have the same effect on Nancy. Even as the series neared its end,
09:50Nancy found herself with yet another legit job that she could just do well and live a normal,
09:55safe life. But she just couldn't stop herself from giving in to her desire to do the bad thing,
10:00to chase that adrenaline high one more time. But as always, she manages to make some smart moves too.
10:07She decides to go back into business selling MILF weed. And as we flash forward to the future in
10:12the final two episodes, we find that this was a very lucrative call. Weed was legalized in the
10:18intervening years, and the company did a huge business, leaving Nancy and everyone else involved
10:23rich. But even though she's finally secured that financial stability that she was initially hunting
10:28for, we also see how the path she burned to get there took its toll on her and everyone around her.
10:34Nancy finds herself wealthy, but emotionally unfulfilled and very alone. She and Andy had
10:40finally hooked up, on the very spot that her husband and his brother had died, no less,
10:45right before the time jump. And we come to find that they never spoke again until they meet in the
10:50finale. She got married to Rabbi David, who then died in a car crash. Shane, warped by his upbringing and
10:57overcome by his alcoholism, has become a dirty cop, who also feels very put out because he decided to
11:02decide with the law over Nancy's now very successful business. Silas, on the other hand,
11:07was able to take control of his life and free himself from Nancy's grasp, both metaphorically
11:12and literally, as he moved to the other side of the country with his wife. Everyone comes back
11:16together for the first time in years for Stevie's bar mitzvah, Nancy's youngest son, who she had with
11:22cartel kingpin and mayor of Tijuana, Esteban, who, after Esteban's murder, she raised to believe
11:28was David's biological child. At the bar mitzvah, Guillermo lets Stevie in on the truth about who
11:33his father is, upending his conception of his family and himself. In the end, much like Silas,
11:39he decides that he needs some space from Nancy if he's going to have a chance of figuring out his
11:43own life. I don't feel so good. And I don't know who I am. And I want to go to boarding school.
11:50While everyone is ostensibly going back for Stevie's bar mitzvah, they're also there to push Nancy to
11:55agree to sell the business for a huge profit. She's weary of giving up the empire she's built.
12:01But she also knows that it's the last thing that ties all of these people to her. And once it's
12:07gone, they will be too. In the end, she agrees to the sale. But it doesn't feel like old Nancy's
12:12drive to blow up her life or some kind of power play. She has grown enough to realize that one of
12:18the hardest things for her to do isn't some scary, exciting move, but instead making a choice that
12:24hurts her, but is good for the people she cares about. And most terrifyingly of all,
12:29finally stopping and really dealing with who she is and who she's become.
12:34But you're gonna be fine. You're so strong. Time for you to face yourself.
12:39Nancy is a complicated character, and that's what makes her so interesting. It drives what makes
12:45her enthralling to watch, but also what makes you cringe about her or want to throw something at the
12:50screen. Her story shows how important it is to not get trapped in your negative patterns,
12:55and instead find ways to really grow and become a better person, instead of letting the worst parts
13:01of yourself drag you down forever.
13:03No one to hold you back from becoming the person you always wanted to be?
13:08Who is that?
13:09Time for you to figure it out.
13:11Like all of the best anti-heroes, Nancy shows us what not to do, while still allowing us the fun,
13:16and occasional pain, of watching what could happen if we did venture down that dark path.
13:22Thanks so much for watching, and to Cycling Frog for sponsoring this video.
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13:35take and giving yourself the gift of some extra relaxation as we wind down the year.
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13:45at checkout to get your discount. That's code THETAKEHOLIDAYS for 20% off your first purchase.
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