- 20 hours ago
Four married friends buy a condo to share as a bachelor pad, a place to bring their mistresses, until the wives and girlfriends bust the cheating spouses.
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TVTranscript
00:00:00I'm so sorry, Kate.
00:00:07I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
00:00:10Let's see how much sympathy you get
00:00:12from two dead mistresses.
00:00:19Everyone on your knees!
00:00:21Hands behind your head!
00:00:30Hands behind your head!
00:00:32You just have to take a look at your head!
00:00:35I'm sorry!
00:00:38You are serious, Kate!
00:00:40You can take a look at your head!
00:00:43You have to let your head!
00:00:45Let your head out!
00:00:49You're not at that same time!
00:00:53You're an open heart on parcels!
00:00:55She will not let you go!
00:00:57No, that's crazy. It was crazy. It's crazy.
00:01:15Now, you know, since I've been here, we had a lot of laughs, had a lot of good times and everything.
00:01:19So I feel like I know you now. I feel like I can be free with you.
00:01:22Can I talk to you for a second?
00:01:24Okay, I got to ask my permission in the black club. As you know, y'all don't let anything just happen.
00:01:28So it's okay for me to just talk to you.
00:01:31All right, okay, all right.
00:01:33So y'all not going to judge me. I don't mind your open opinion, but you're not going to judge me, are you?
00:01:38Can't promise that. I got to respect that. All right.
00:01:54Sorry, we're a little early.
00:02:01I thought I said 3 p.m.
00:02:02No, you said 12 p.m. What is that?
00:02:08Oh, uh, that's not what it seems. You know, rappers used to live here.
00:02:13It has some type of music video, and you know how they are.
00:02:16Equality Entertainment, E-40 now. It's all good.
00:02:19Man, no, man. This looks like a homicide.
00:02:22I don't know. You know how them rappers are, man. You're a brother. What's up, man?
00:02:27Listen, please, just follow me, and let me show you the pool.
00:02:30Let me get it. Come on.
00:02:34Hey! Hey!
00:02:38What's your name again?
00:02:39Julissa.
00:02:40Oh, you're selfish. Tell me why it's your girls. Where your girls at?
00:02:43They couldn't make it, but I'm here to serve.
00:02:45Yeah, but can you serve me some vodka in this lemonade?
00:02:52How are you back, sexy?
00:02:53Yes, he is sexy.
00:02:55Mm-mm-mm.
00:02:56So, D, why can't you sell this place, man?
00:02:58This is the living room.
00:03:00You have two golden Roman statues, antique furniture from the 1940s.
00:03:04This was built in the 1960s. Great bargain.
00:03:06Does this place look familiar, honey?
00:03:08I'm Googling it right now.
00:03:12Yo, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not what it looks like.
00:03:14And, you know what?
00:03:15The basketball team is even on that.
00:03:19Party's over, kids.
00:03:29What the hell are you?
00:03:32You know what? Let me show you guys your backyard.
00:03:36Wait a minute.
00:03:37They just gangster rappers?
00:03:39Man, long story.
00:03:41Okay, I don't know what that means.
00:03:42Yo, yo, what's up?
00:03:45Yeah, yeah, this is J-Man.
00:03:47Hey, what's up, baby doll?
00:03:48Yeah, my bro told me about your sexy cell.
00:03:58Duke.
00:04:00Duke.
00:04:01Yeah, what's up, honey?
00:04:01Don't forget to pick up my dress at the dry cleaners.
00:04:03You're not working today. You can pick it up.
00:04:05Excuse me? I have appointments.
00:04:07I have my manicure, pedicure, and my facial.
00:04:09And that's all in my morning schedule.
00:04:11Then I have my hair treatment.
00:04:13All right, all right, all right. I'll pick it up.
00:04:15Oh, yeah, I just remembered, um,
00:04:16we're going to have poker at the house this week, okay,
00:04:19with the fellas. That's okay, right?
00:04:20Uh-uh. No, no way.
00:04:22I told you the last time was the LAST time.
00:04:26You tell your homeboys to go find another place to trash.
00:04:29Come on, baby, be reasonable, please.
00:04:31I mean, this is how it works.
00:04:32It's my turn now.
00:04:34I'll tell you how it works, sugar.
00:04:36I watch Sex in the City reruns in the living room,
00:04:40and there'll be no card game going on in the kitchen.
00:04:44Besides, why don't you use that mansion you're never going to sell?
00:04:48All right.
00:04:50I see how it is.
00:04:52I'm up for the challenge.
00:04:53Nice day for a walk?
00:05:00Yeah, now it's all meant into my jacuzzi.
00:05:02You know what?
00:05:03I think I may have my swimming trunks in the car.
00:05:05Rule number one,
00:05:06no swim trunks allowed in my jacuzzi.
00:05:08I promise not to break any of those rules.
00:05:11Rule number two,
00:05:12no wives allowed in my jacuzzi.
00:05:15I totally understand.
00:05:17You know what?
00:05:18Johnny J-Man Johnson,
00:05:22record producer.
00:05:24That's my twin brother.
00:05:26If he gives you any trouble,
00:05:27you give me a call.
00:05:28He's single.
00:05:29Okay.
00:05:31And here's number two.
00:05:33Emerson Duke Johnson,
00:05:36author, historian,
00:05:38realtor.
00:05:39Yes, that would be me.
00:05:40What are you today?
00:05:41Realtor.
00:05:42Yeah?
00:05:43Yeah.
00:05:43Well, maybe I'll give your brother a call.
00:05:46All right.
00:05:47It's nice to meet you, Duke.
00:05:48As well.
00:05:51He said if I can get you the gig or I can probably get you in bed.
00:05:55Is that true?
00:05:56A little bit.
00:05:56Well, you know, I'm busy right now.
00:05:59I'm in the studio laying down some tracks.
00:06:00Cool.
00:06:01Yeah.
00:06:02By the way, do you see?
00:06:04Yeah.
00:06:04Because I would love to lay down some tracks with you.
00:06:07I bet you would.
00:06:08All right.
00:06:09Tomorrow.
00:06:10Cool.
00:06:10Peace.
00:06:11See you.
00:06:12Bye.
00:06:13J-Man?
00:06:13What kind of session are you talking about?
00:06:17It's very simple, Tom.
00:06:19J-Man is kind of like my, uh, how can I say this?
00:06:23My alter ego.
00:06:25Alter ego?
00:06:26Yeah, guys.
00:06:26Like, you know, somebody's secondary personality or, you know, an intimate, trusted friend.
00:06:31We know him.
00:06:32You know what?
00:06:32You know, I kind of like made up J-Man.
00:06:34But you got to realize that my spirit is pure, but my flesh is so weak.
00:06:40Okay, okay.
00:06:41You're a sly dog, man.
00:06:43If I ever caught you in bed with another man, I would cut off your dick and hang it on the restroom of a bus station.
00:06:49Don't worry.
00:06:50Don't worry.
00:06:51What if Leticia finds out?
00:06:55Let's see.
00:07:08Public park.
00:07:13Check.
00:07:14We're almost halfway through the list.
00:07:17You have been such a sport accommodating my fetish.
00:07:20I want to give you a special gift.
00:07:24They're beautiful.
00:07:26As are you.
00:07:28Oh, good.
00:07:32You thought of another location?
00:07:34Yes.
00:07:35Your place.
00:07:37You might want to be cremated because there won't be enough remains left to bury.
00:07:41Yo, Dee, is this girl that fine?
00:07:44She's that hot?
00:07:45Do black men hang like elephants?
00:07:46She is hot.
00:07:48There's actually two species of elephants.
00:07:51What?
00:07:52What's her name?
00:07:53Her name is Sundae.
00:07:54You want to take her to church?
00:07:55No.
00:07:56It's not about where I take her.
00:07:57It's about where we end up.
00:07:59Her rule is no swimsuits and a jacuzzi.
00:08:03Well, why don't you just take her here?
00:08:06Wait a minute, J-man.
00:08:08Would you possibly consider subletting to me and my alter ego?
00:08:13You know what, gentlemen?
00:08:15Let's make a deal.
00:08:17Let's make this mention bring us peace, love, joy, happiness, whatever we want.
00:08:25Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:08:26From Monday through Sunday.
00:08:27That's right.
00:08:27All for one and one for all.
00:08:30Yes, sir.
00:08:31Yes, sir.
00:08:33What about me?
00:08:34Oh, I got you.
00:08:35Don't worry about that.
00:08:36And I got your back, baby.
00:08:37No, you don't.
00:08:38I got it.
00:08:38We see.
00:08:39We see Rondi.
00:08:40All the way around.
00:08:41Well, she's sitting.
00:08:41She's sitting right here, right?
00:08:42She's working for you right now.
00:08:44I'm working for her.
00:08:45We're working for you right now.
00:08:46Who's got her from?
00:08:48In my real life right now, I'm involved in an affair.
00:08:53I have an affair with another woman on my wife.
00:08:55Now, see, there y'all go judge.
00:08:56See the looks on their faces?
00:08:57You said you weren't going to judge me.
00:08:59See that?
00:09:00See how black folk are?
00:09:01You think you can trust me?
00:09:02Just stab you on in the back.
00:09:12This dude is offering the lilies of serenity to his people.
00:09:17Yeah.
00:09:19Really?
00:09:19Yeah, really.
00:09:21To me, the lips represent a vagina.
00:09:24For real?
00:09:25Wow.
00:09:26Oh, come on.
00:09:27How can you look at this and not see a vagina, right?
00:09:30In her face?
00:09:31Well, yeah, you know what?
00:09:34I can see that now.
00:09:35Yeah, you're right.
00:09:36Yeah, to me, this piece represents sexual freedom and purity.
00:09:42Hmm.
00:09:43How about I get us some stronger drinks and we can meet out by the jacuzzi?
00:09:47I like that.
00:09:48Yeah?
00:09:48Mm-hmm.
00:09:51I'm up for the challenge.
00:09:56Yeah, I can see that.
00:09:57Yeah, this girl Sunday is off to you the book.
00:10:07This is what I'm talking about.
00:10:11What are you doing?
00:10:12Hey, uh, I thought all that talk about the lilies kind of inspired me.
00:10:18Uh, I thought we was on the same page.
00:10:20Um, no, I thought we were going to have a drink before you took me to dinner.
00:10:24Oh, all right.
00:10:25Well, um, okay.
00:10:27Well, actually, I'm kind of naked.
00:10:36Yes, you are.
00:10:37I thought that was your rule.
00:10:39How'd you know that?
00:10:39Well, uh, you know, you-
00:10:43Oh, I see.
00:10:45Twins talk.
00:10:46Yeah, yeah.
00:10:47We always talk and we talk too much.
00:10:49Smart.
00:10:50Yes.
00:10:51Yeah.
00:10:51Yeah.
00:10:53Well, I'm really hungry, so if you want to-
00:10:55All right.
00:10:59Are you just going to stand there?
00:11:02You don't mind, do you?
00:11:03Well.
00:11:10Hello?
00:11:10Hey, how's it going?
00:11:11Is Tuesday there?
00:11:12Tuesday?
00:11:13Uh, no, she's not here.
00:11:16Well, she gave me this number, though.
00:11:18Well, she gave you a bad number.
00:11:19She sounds just like you.
00:11:21That's not my problem.
00:11:22Well, that's not my problem.
00:11:23You ready?
00:11:26Yes.
00:11:27I am.
00:11:31You bastard.
00:11:33Showing a mansion?
00:11:35He must think I'm some dumb blonde trailer park white trash.
00:11:41Not.
00:11:47Going out for a little while.
00:11:49It's just on my side.
00:12:01I'm sorry.
00:12:02I'm sorry.
00:12:02Come on.
00:12:03It was a really amazing moment of introspection.
00:12:22Dr. Jenkins, after 30 years...
00:12:25Oh, that's my emergency ringtone.
00:12:26Hold that thought.
00:12:28He's with a woman.
00:12:30Why a woman?
00:12:31Is this an emergency?
00:12:33Absolutely. My life is crumbling.
00:12:35I don't know what to do.
00:12:37Okay, okay.
00:12:38Listen, it's hard for me to ascertain why he's with a woman without me actually talking to him.
00:12:43You sure he can't come in for a couple sessions?
00:12:45Not a chance.
00:12:46Well, I'm just going to have to speculate.
00:12:48Maybe Juan is a spearman.
00:12:50Maybe he wants some variety in his life.
00:12:51Does he need that much variety?
00:12:54Are you mad that he's cheating on you or that he's cheating with a woman?
00:12:56I can hold my own against a man, but how do I compete with a pair of tits
00:13:01and a complexion as smooth as a baby's butt?
00:13:04I hear that.
00:13:05Well, we got to break it down systematically.
00:13:07If Juan is a spearman, give him something different.
00:13:10Give him a different look.
00:13:11Something exciting.
00:13:13Besides the sex change operation?
00:13:15That's the last resort.
00:13:17No, maybe you can change your look.
00:13:19Change your attire.
00:13:20Give him a whole different persona when you make love.
00:13:22Got it.
00:13:23Thank you, Dr. Jenkins.
00:13:25Sure, you bet.
00:13:27I apologize.
00:13:29Now, where were we?
00:13:31What I was saying was, I think...
00:13:34Oh, you know what?
00:13:35That's the end of our session.
00:13:36We're going to pick this up next week, okay?
00:13:38Make sure you pay my secretary on the way out.
00:13:40I'm sorry.
00:13:40We're going to pick this up next week.
00:14:10Let it get low, let it get low, let it get low.
00:14:13Let it get low.
00:14:14Let it get low.
00:14:16Take me where I need you.
00:14:18Let it get low, let it get low.
00:14:21Let it get low.
00:14:23Let it get low.
00:14:25Come on.
00:14:27She's out of control.
00:14:29She's out of control.
00:14:31Calling me to the floor.
00:14:33And I can't say no.
00:14:35Going out for a little while.
00:14:36Have fun.
00:14:40Going out for a little while.
00:15:08Hello.
00:15:38Oh, you are not playing poker again.
00:16:08What's up, girl? You want to get weird?
00:16:11You better back up off of me.
00:16:12Get out of my yard!
00:16:13Damn, I'm sick.
00:16:15Yo, she's a bitch.
00:16:16Yo, mama!
00:16:18You want to have no pajama party?
00:16:25What's that?
00:16:29What?
00:16:30I think there's someone in the house.
00:16:32You do? Okay.
00:16:33Give me a minute.
00:16:38Hey, hey, guess what?
00:16:42What the hell are you doing here?
00:16:43I got a date tonight. I had to get my stuff set up.
00:16:46Oh, no. Seriously?
00:16:47Why are we whispering?
00:16:48Because I got a date now and my stuff is already set up.
00:16:51Meet me downstairs. My clothes are down here and I'm about to get dressed, okay?
00:16:53Okay. All right.
00:16:57What am I supposed to die?
00:16:58Mandis telling you you had to get out of the house because you stressed out
00:17:01and you needed some fresh air or something.
00:17:03What the hell are you doing here, Ryan?
00:17:05Hey!
00:17:06What the hell are you out of here?
00:17:07What the hell are you doing here?
00:17:12J-Man?
00:17:20Hey, look.
00:17:20Well, you three got to get up out of here.
00:17:21My girl's going to be here any minute.
00:17:22I need to set up.
00:17:23You know that.
00:17:23Hey, babe.
00:17:25We having poker today, but, you know, I'm going to reschedule.
00:17:28Is that cool with you?
00:17:30Are you having a poker marathon?
00:17:32Uh, no.
00:17:33We were just, um, you know, we just kind of came by, you know, saying hello.
00:17:36Oh, well, it's no big deal because I have to take off anyway, so we'll see you later.
00:17:44Aren't you going to walk me to the door?
00:17:46Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:17:47I'm taking you through the back door.
00:17:48That's right.
00:17:48Yeah.
00:17:48Back door.
00:17:49Back door.
00:17:49Yes, yes.
00:17:50Hey, man, you all got to leave, man.
00:17:52You got to leave, man.
00:17:53I got to go.
00:17:54I got to leave, man.
00:17:54I have a sure thing, man.
00:17:55Sure thing?
00:17:55Come on, Urkel.
00:17:56You don't have a sure thing.
00:17:57Urkel?
00:17:58Hey, look, man.
00:17:58I am sorry.
00:17:59I ruined your night.
00:18:00Yeah, you ruined my night, too, man.
00:18:01I didn't ruin your night.
00:18:02He ruined it.
00:18:02You never had a sure thing.
00:18:03Listen, girls, listen.
00:18:04Listen, we're going to meet tomorrow.
00:18:05We're going to figure out a system, a blueprint, so this won't happen again.
00:18:09See, that's Natalia.
00:18:11Huh?
00:18:11What?
00:18:14Oh, okay.
00:18:14You go upstairs.
00:18:15You go upstairs.
00:18:15Me and him, we'll take care of you.
00:18:20Where's he at?
00:18:21Uh, he just left us.
00:18:22Uh, go out.
00:18:23I know you playing poker.
00:18:24No, no, we weren't playing poker.
00:18:26We were.
00:18:26Just was meeting me.
00:18:28We weren't playing poker?
00:18:30No.
00:18:31You going somewhere?
00:18:34No, we were just thinking about renting the place.
00:18:37Both of you?
00:18:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:18:38Aren't you married?
00:18:39No, I'm not.
00:18:40I'm not married.
00:18:41Well, he might be.
00:18:42Well, not to each other.
00:18:43No, yeah.
00:18:44It's a joke I'm working for my routine, my stand-up.
00:18:46That's a funny one, too.
00:18:47Yeah, you should try that one out.
00:18:48So I've got to work out with it.
00:18:49But anyway, so J-Man just let us in.
00:18:50J-Man?
00:18:52That's what we call Duke in college.
00:18:53Yeah, it was an old college nickname.
00:18:54J-Man, hey!
00:18:55So anyway, so Duke, you know, let us in, and he just took off.
00:18:58You lying.
00:18:59He's gone.
00:19:00And you the ringleader.
00:19:01Where's my husband?
00:19:02Hey, come in.
00:19:03Go.
00:19:05And I thought Duke is not here!
00:19:08What the hell?
00:19:11See?
00:19:11This is why I date outside of my country.
00:19:14See that?
00:19:16Yeah, man.
00:19:17Hey, come to the light, man.
00:19:18Just saying.
00:19:21Great seeing you, Ron.
00:19:22Oh, it's great seeing you, too, Tom.
00:19:23I want to thank you all for helping me straighten up around here.
00:19:25Yeah, no, no problem.
00:19:26No, I'll see you later.
00:19:27Anytime.
00:19:28Hey, hey, babe.
00:19:29Hey!
00:19:29If you don't get your arms off of me, I'm going to wipe it off.
00:19:33Sorry.
00:19:33I don't know what's going on around here, but if I get home and Duke's not there asleep,
00:19:40I'm going to come back here, and I'm going to fuck somebody up.
00:19:44Okay, yeah, he'll do that.
00:19:45Hey, wait.
00:19:45Don't worry about it, huh?
00:19:46But now I know that to have an affair, you have to pay to go out to eat.
00:19:55Can't go over to his house.
00:19:56Can't go over to your house because there's somebody there.
00:19:58When I count to three, you will wake up feeling refreshed and energized.
00:20:20All your feelings of sadness will be gone.
00:20:23One.
00:20:24Two.
00:20:24Yes?
00:20:29Can I kill her now?
00:20:30Robert, I'm in a session.
00:20:32I told you, only call me if it's an emergency.
00:20:34But here we are.
00:20:36No, no.
00:20:36Do not kill her.
00:20:37Just stick with the plan that we came up with.
00:20:39Oh, please.
00:20:40That is too much work.
00:20:41Will it be worth getting her out of your life forever?
00:20:44I would prefer getting her off the plan, but I suppose removing her from my world will do.
00:20:48Good.
00:20:48Well, go be at it, and we'll talk at the next session.
00:20:52Goodbye, Robert.
00:20:53Now somebody poked me on Facebook.
00:20:57Oh.
00:20:58Three.
00:21:02I don't feel so good.
00:21:08You okay?
00:21:10Oh, must be something that I ate.
00:21:13Do you need anything?
00:21:16I'm okay.
00:21:17All right, I'm leaving.
00:21:20I'll be back in a few hours.
00:21:21Have fun.
00:21:23Bye.
00:21:33Bye.
00:21:39Bye.
00:21:41Bye.
00:21:41Bye.
00:21:46Can you excuse me for a moment, I have to use the restroom.
00:22:07Hello.
00:22:08Hi.
00:22:09Have we met before?
00:22:10We just have.
00:22:11I thought you were a former tango student of mine.
00:22:14I'm not a dancer, but I can do a horizontal gripping mumbo.
00:22:19Here, I'll trade you some lessons in the vertical for some in the horizontal.
00:22:25That's a fair trade.
00:22:32Yeah, watch.
00:22:34Lucky bastard.
00:22:35Wow, you son of a bitch, you had the kicker. Look at that. You see that?
00:22:37Hot damn.
00:22:38About time.
00:22:39Wow.
00:22:40Well look guys, I don't see what the problem is, man. What's the problem?
00:22:42Ron D, this is a problem. You see, I was about to get in on with Sunday and give her some praise and worship.
00:22:48Then you guys show up giving me a housewarming party. What's up with that?
00:22:51I wasn't invited to no party.
00:22:53Hey, but you know guys, seriously, we almost messed up the love shop.
00:22:57See, I had a short thing.
00:22:59Don't you start that, man. Are you serious?
00:23:02Hey, listen guys. We need to devise a plan. We need to come up with a plan, alright?
00:23:07I was beginning to think you were married.
00:23:12Hmm?
00:23:13But now that I'm in your place, in your bed, I love you.
00:23:19Yeah, I love you too.
00:23:28There, there. It'll be okay, Tom.
00:23:30I just need to be held.
00:23:34I'll hold you.
00:23:37It'll be alright.
00:23:39You're awesome.
00:23:44I miss my wife.
00:23:46Aww.
00:23:48Can we not talk about her right now though?
00:23:50Baby, Daddy lost his keys. He's gonna have to go in the back door.
00:23:54What do you mean back door?
00:23:56Let me show you.
00:23:57Oh, boy.
00:24:00God.
00:24:06I've always wanted to do it with twins.
00:24:09Oh, hell no.
00:24:10I'm not crossing swords for my brother.
00:24:12We couldn't even share the same mother without fighting.
00:24:14Now, that's a good sermon for Sunday, but not for me.
00:24:17Now, where was I?
00:24:22I'm married.
00:24:26I like fish sticks. I like fish sticks.
00:24:44Yeah.
00:24:50Wow.
00:24:52Hello?
00:24:53Hello?
00:24:54Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:25:05So, how long you been living in the hood?
00:25:06Not long.
00:25:07I got a small inheritance and decided to upgrade my living situation.
00:25:10Nice.
00:25:12No chance of me getting inheritance.
00:25:14I'm gonna have to marry up if I'm gonna do any upgrading.
00:25:18What's your husband do?
00:25:19He's a realtor.
00:25:20Oh.
00:25:21I'm sorry.
00:25:22It's not that bad.
00:25:24It could be worse.
00:25:25He could suck in bed.
00:25:28Then again lately.
00:25:31Do you think there's someone else?
00:25:32No way.
00:25:34Then again.
00:25:37You can ask him yourself.
00:25:40Hey, how you doing, honey?
00:25:41Hey.
00:25:42Toosie wants to know if you're sleeping with someone else.
00:25:48Nice to meet you.
00:25:49Hi.
00:25:50Toosie's kind of new to the hood.
00:25:55We met when we were carrying groceries up.
00:26:00Hey.
00:26:01I'm sorry.
00:26:02I need to go take a shower and then go for a face show.
00:26:05You'll find out if he's fooling around.
00:26:09You guys are very amusing.
00:26:12So Leticia tells me you haven't been too interested lately.
00:26:15She said what?
00:26:16What's up with that?
00:26:20Sunday?
00:26:21No.
00:26:22Tuesday.
00:26:24What the hell are you doing here?
00:26:26What are you talking about?
00:26:27Listen.
00:26:28My wife, she's not too fine on my brother.
00:26:31If she knew that I set you up with him,
00:26:33it wouldn't look too good on me.
00:26:35What are you talking about?
00:26:36Keep your damn voice down.
00:26:38Look.
00:26:40I gotta go.
00:26:41Tell Leticia I'll call her.
00:26:43What's going on? Sunday?
00:26:45Church, I guess.
00:26:46I gotta go.
00:26:48What? Church?
00:26:49Wait.
00:26:58Hey, babe.
00:26:59Is this J-Man?
00:27:00Who's this?
00:27:01This is Dr. English.
00:27:03Yeah, this is J-Man.
00:27:04Mr. Johnson, have you met Tuesday?
00:27:08Yeah, we'd chill together sometime.
00:27:10I thought so.
00:27:13I'm currently treating Sunday for multiple personality disorder.
00:27:18Have you met any other days of her week?
00:27:20No, I haven't.
00:27:21Doc, is she crazy?
00:27:22Because I'm feeling kind of crazy.
00:27:23Do you think she put cyanide in my drink or something?
00:27:25What's going on?
00:27:26Help me.
00:27:27Mr. Johnson, I'm going to need you to come into the office.
00:27:31Alright, in a minute.
00:27:47A white supremacist?
00:27:49Monday is from Mississippi.
00:27:52Circa 1955.
00:27:54And her great-grandfather was a Confederate general.
00:27:58So far, she only appears very briefly.
00:28:02But she has the potential to be very dangerous.
00:28:06Now, I can't go into specifics.
00:28:10But suffice it to say, the last time she did manifest herself,
00:28:14the police were involved.
00:28:15The police were involved.
00:28:17Whoa.
00:28:19You know what, Doc?
00:28:21I think it's time for me to end things with Sunday.
00:28:23You feel me?
00:28:25No, I wish you wouldn't do that.
00:28:27If her life gets upset now,
00:28:29we may lose all the progress we've achieved so far.
00:28:32And I personally believe we're very close to a breakthrough.
00:28:36Look, Doc, I got a few personalities of my own.
00:28:38You feel me?
00:28:39But neither of them want to lynch a damn black man.
00:28:42I hope I haven't given you the impression that Monday is homicidal.
00:28:47She merely has a rage issue.
00:28:49A rage issue? You seriously, a rage issue?
00:28:50It's nothing serious, I assure you.
00:28:54You just need to be aware of it.
00:28:56Yeah, and not overreact.
00:29:04Alright, alright, alright.
00:29:06Cool.
00:29:11I think I can handle that.
00:29:16I should mention,
00:29:17if you are seeing Sunday intimately,
00:29:21and suddenly Monday emerges,
00:29:23make sure she does not give you oral sex.
00:29:26What? Seriously?
00:29:30Good day, Mr. Johnson.
00:29:44You okay?
00:29:45Yeah, yeah, I'm okay.
00:29:46You just,
00:29:48just drunk too many Red Bulls with that Vuvaca at the studio today.
00:29:51That's all.
00:29:53Let me make you feel better.
00:29:56How?
00:29:58I wanna give you something special.
00:30:02Just make sure she does not give you oral sex.
00:30:05Oh, what is it?
00:30:07Hold on.
00:30:08This is all I could.
00:30:10Just let me do you.
00:30:12Okay.
00:30:13You are a love letter written in secret code.
00:30:28Maybe you can unlock that code.
00:30:30I can unlock any code, baby.
00:30:34It's a nice place.
00:30:37It's gorgeous.
00:30:42What you think about the artwork?
00:30:44I think it's gorgeous.
00:30:46This is by a famous designer named Tamani Elliot.
00:30:50This is called her Juju collection.
00:30:52Juju collection.
00:30:53Yes.
00:30:54So does Leticia know about these digs?
00:31:01Nope.
00:31:02Should she?
00:31:04Well, what if she finds out?
00:31:05Are you gonna tell her?
00:31:07Depends on how good you are with that massage.
00:31:09Oh, baby, I'm real good.
00:31:11Let me show you.
00:31:12Come here.
00:31:13Yeah?
00:31:14Damn, baby.
00:31:15Ooh, you got strong hands.
00:31:16Yeah.
00:31:20What the hell?
00:31:21Shit.
00:31:22I'm starting to feel guilty.
00:31:35You should.
00:31:36It's your turn.
00:31:37All right.
00:31:38Shit!
00:31:46I'm starting to feel guilty.
00:31:48You should.
00:31:49It's your turn.
00:31:50Alright.
00:31:53You can walk.
00:31:54I will.
00:31:56Here you go.
00:31:58What's this?
00:31:59What's what?
00:32:00These scratches!
00:32:01Remember you did...
00:32:03Remember what?
00:32:05Uh, never mind. I was thinking of something else as well.
00:32:08You bastard!
00:32:10What?
00:32:25Uh...
00:32:35So it costs money to have an affair. That's a relationship.
00:32:46You might get a couple of these groupies out there once more, but even the most ratchet chick would be like, uh-uh.
00:32:51Yeah.
00:33:03This is Juan.
00:33:04Hello, dance man. Do you know who is this?
00:33:07Yes, I think I do.
00:33:09Are you ready for your lesson?
00:33:11Most importantly, are you ready for yours?
00:33:15Okay. Tonight's gonna be fun, most definitely.
00:33:18What's your address?
00:33:21See you there.
00:33:38Are you okay?
00:33:39Couldn't be better, sugar.
00:33:41I'll be out before you can say cat on a hot tin roof.
00:33:44Monday?
00:33:46Dr. English.
00:33:48Hello? Dr. English.
00:33:53J-Man.
00:33:54I think Monday's about to come out of the bathroom and she may want to lynch me.
00:33:57This is not good. Um...
00:33:59Where are you?
00:34:00I'll text you the address. All right.
00:34:05Yes.
00:34:06Two ways I approach cheap mail.
00:34:09I can go down on y'all.
00:34:12Or y'all can go down on me.
00:34:13No, no, no. I'll go down on you.
00:34:16No!
00:34:18What the heck?
00:34:19I think I'll go down on y'all.
00:34:20Wait, whoa!
00:34:22No!
00:34:24Come on, please!
00:34:25Wait, show me what we do.
00:34:27Wait, show me what we do.
00:34:30Hello. Who are you?
00:34:32Who are you?
00:34:33I'm Juan. This is my mansion.
00:34:35I'm Tiffany.
00:34:37And this is Rebecca.
00:34:39Oh, Rebecca, yes. You're Tom's hairstylist.
00:34:42Have we met?
00:34:44No, but I stopped in the shop once.
00:34:46Isn't this Tom's mansion?
00:34:47Uh, actually, we're... we're roommates.
00:34:50Roommates.
00:34:52Sorta.
00:34:54Look, would you mind terribly just leave for a couple hours?
00:34:58We plan a really big surprise for Tom.
00:35:02It's big.
00:35:03I'd love to, but I have a pressing engagement.
00:35:05She's gonna be here any minute.
00:35:06No, no, no. That's... that's not gonna work.
00:35:09I'm sorry.
00:35:10I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you guys to leave
00:35:12and have your surprise another time.
00:35:14Look, we planned a big dinner.
00:35:15We got everything ready.
00:35:16Yeah.
00:35:17It looks really, really nice.
00:35:20Where's the food?
00:35:22It's being delivered.
00:35:23Yeah.
00:35:24Yeah, I'm sorry. This is... this is not gonna work.
00:35:26I'm gonna have to ask you two to leave.
00:35:30Just... just for a minute.
00:35:31You guys are gonna have to...
00:35:32Yeah, there you go.
00:35:33No, no, no, no.
00:35:38Didn't your mother ever teach you not to argue with women?
00:35:42My mother taught me that arguing with women
00:35:43makes you want to take your pants off.
00:35:44You agree, right?
00:35:46What?
00:35:47You feel it too.
00:35:48You definitely feel it too.
00:35:49Definitely do not feel that.
00:35:51Tom!
00:35:53He has a key.
00:35:54I have his key.
00:35:55Is that Tom?
00:35:56Not unless he's in RuPaul's Drag Race.
00:35:59It's Heather.
00:36:00No offense, but is this the alcohol scenario?
00:36:01Oh, I assure you I do not and have never paid for sex.
00:36:05You two gotta go.
00:36:07Take Tom out for dinner.
00:36:09We were here first.
00:36:10Heather Bumpkin, come in.
00:36:12You are delicious.
00:36:15Dark as the day is warm.
00:36:17Let's all have dinner together.
00:36:19That's a great idea.
00:36:20That's a great idea.
00:36:21No.
00:36:22See, these girls are completely unreasonable.
00:36:24Yeah, it's not gonna work.
00:36:26Tom!
00:36:27He has a key.
00:36:28I have his key.
00:36:33Who let you two in here?
00:36:34What are you doing here?
00:36:36My man, what are you doing here?
00:36:37Ron D, you sent me a text.
00:36:38You said I could use the mansion tonight.
00:36:40No.
00:36:41Never said nothing like that.
00:36:42What are you, another roommate?
00:36:43Oh, this is Rebecca.
00:36:44This is Tom's hair stylist friend.
00:36:47Okay.
00:36:49Hi, I'm Tiffany.
00:36:50How are you?
00:36:51Hi, hi, hi.
00:36:52Okay, okay.
00:36:53Well, look, sorry it's been some type of mistake,
00:36:54so you all gotta get out of here, man.
00:36:56I got an important day tonight.
00:36:57Ron D, you said that I could have the mansion.
00:36:59No, man.
00:37:00You gotta go.
00:37:01Tom!
00:37:02He has a key.
00:37:03I have his key, dumbass.
00:37:05How do you have his key?
00:37:08Where is Sunday?
00:37:09It will be just here if you wait three more days.
00:37:12This is a medical emergency.
00:37:13I need to see Sunday immediately.
00:37:16Wait a second.
00:37:17We can't do this.
00:37:19Should we check it out?
00:37:27Should we check it out?
00:37:29Well, we could get a coffee and avoid the risk
00:37:31of a racial profiling charge.
00:37:33Or we could just patriarch it.
00:37:35Sure choice.
00:37:36Hmm.
00:37:37Yeah.
00:37:38A lot of paperwork.
00:37:40It's probably just take out.
00:37:43But, let's keep an eye on this place.
00:37:45This is not the way.
00:37:46We said Jum'ah.
00:37:47We gave him three days.
00:37:48That's three days that he has ignored us.
00:37:51It is disrespectful at this time.
00:37:53I know, but he doesn't have any understanding of our culture.
00:37:56Listen, it is imperative I see Sunday immediately.
00:38:01Where is she?
00:38:02Okay, look, Dr. English.
00:38:03Sunday is not here.
00:38:05Maybe she's with J-Man or something.
00:38:07J-Man?
00:38:08Yeah, that's like her.
00:38:09What the hell is going on here?
00:38:11Mr. Johnson, where is Sunday?
00:38:13She's upstairs.
00:38:14So you're in on this too?
00:38:16In on what?
00:38:17Ron D, you said it was cool for me to get the mansion today, man.
00:38:20I never said that.
00:38:21Uh-oh.
00:38:22Just like I said it was okay for Juan to do that too, huh?
00:38:24You didn't.
00:38:25I didn't, man.
00:38:26Look.
00:38:27Right here.
00:38:28See?
00:38:29See the text?
00:38:30Texts don't lie.
00:38:31Man, I ain't sending that shit.
00:38:32Somebody sent it?
00:38:33Who the hell sent it then?
00:38:34I don't know.
00:38:35Man, you playin' here, you dog.
00:38:36Oh.
00:38:37You got some explainin' to do.
00:38:38Uh...
00:38:39Open house.
00:38:40Open house, my ass.
00:38:41Sit down.
00:38:44Oh, no.
00:38:45What's she doing here?
00:38:46Sister, what are you doing here?
00:38:48You look tying his hands in that dress.
00:38:50You got going on, girl.
00:38:52I don't know what the hell is going on with you people,
00:38:54but all of you need to leave
00:38:56because we have something going on right now.
00:38:58Yeah, a party.
00:38:59I'm calling.
00:39:00We're out of here.
00:39:01Let's go.
00:39:02Oh, hell no.
00:39:03Get back here.
00:39:06What the fuck?
00:39:08I gotta change, man.
00:39:09It's too fucking hot.
00:39:10Alright, stand over here.
00:39:11I'll be back.
00:39:13It looks like something is going down.
00:39:14Wait a second.
00:39:19See, they must live here.
00:39:20No, they don't look like they live here.
00:39:22Mmm.
00:39:24I bet you would think I couldn't live here.
00:39:26You can't.
00:39:28Alright, once more around the block.
00:39:31Who the hell Juan is?
00:39:32You need to-
00:39:33Yeah, I need to get out of here.
00:39:34You need to get out of here.
00:39:35No, no, no, no.
00:39:36Get out of here.
00:39:37Okay.
00:39:38I got-
00:39:39Okay.
00:39:40I got-
00:39:44But look, so listen.
00:39:45But look, so listen, so before you start judging, my wife, she's, uh, she, she's, she'll be
00:40:04at the bar, she's over, oh, no, no, no, that's right, she's over here, she's over here, but
00:40:10see, she's also my business manager, so she don't hear nothing I say, no, seriously,
00:40:17if she just don't hear nothing I say, watch this, Sarah, bae, bae, go on and kill yourself,
00:40:24bae, go kill yourself, girl, go kill your damn self, bae, bae, bae, you can look at me now,
00:40:32bae, for real, hey, hey, bae, I love you.
00:40:35So when she finally heard this bit, that I, well, I was cheating on her and having an
00:40:42affair, she thought it was funny, like, oh, that's funny, I thought what was even funnier
00:40:46is that, you know, it's the truth, it's really happening, and she looked at me and she said,
00:40:53boy, nobody wants your broke ass.
00:40:59Trying to do a joke, I killed them, they weren't expecting that, destroyed them, they weren't
00:41:04expecting that, they were, like, loving and hating me all in the same thing, they couldn't,
00:41:06they couldn't handle that.
00:41:08Oh, the new joke?
00:41:09Um, I wasn't listening.
00:41:12Let them listen.
00:41:15Oh, okay, we gotta go, I've got the cash.
00:41:17No, no, no, no, no, I wanna see the next act.
00:41:21You were performing in San Francisco tomorrow night, remember?
00:41:23Yeah.
00:41:24Which means, you have to get up early.
00:41:28Okay, grab a drink, I'll be in the car.
00:41:32Alright.
00:41:34I can't believe Eddie didn't win an Oscar for life, or the clumps.
00:41:54Hey, babe.
00:41:55When am I going to see you?
00:41:58Uh, next week.
00:42:01You gotta do better than that.
00:42:02No, no, no, no, okay, okay, now look, you know what, I was going to surprise you when
00:42:07I got back from San Francisco, but, if you insist, I, uh, rented a mansion.
00:42:13Mansion?
00:42:14Yeah.
00:42:16Yeah, just give me a little time.
00:42:17Wait, like, five minutes.
00:42:19Well, just give me an hour, okay?
00:42:22Oh.
00:42:23Straighten up a little bit, and I'll text you the address.
00:42:26Okay, daddy.
00:42:26Oh, there you go.
00:42:28See, you naughty self.
00:42:31I'll see you in an hour, okay?
00:42:32Okay.
00:42:36Babe.
00:42:37Babe.
00:42:39Babe.
00:42:39Don't even think of making me open my eyes.
00:42:42I'm just going to go to the comedy club.
00:42:43I left my jacket there.
00:42:44They just called.
00:42:45Idiot.
00:42:48Idiot.
00:42:48I'm up this way past curfew.
00:42:49I'm up this way past curfew.
00:42:53Watch out, this game will work you.
00:42:55I'm up this way past curfew.
00:42:57Yeah, I'll admit that I'm wrong.
00:42:59And it's hard to be me.
00:43:02Sometimes I'll be ditching the fans.
00:43:03We'll run around chasing my dream.
00:43:15Tonight is your night, bro.
00:43:16What the hell are you doing here, Ronji?
00:43:21Hey!
00:43:21Shh!
00:43:22What the hell are y'all doing here?
00:43:23Shh!
00:43:24Shh!
00:43:26Hey, look, when you three got to get up out of here,
00:43:27my girl's going to be here any minute.
00:43:28I need to set up.
00:43:29You know that.
00:43:30Company?
00:43:30Hey, babe.
00:43:31We have a poker today, but, you know,
00:43:33I'm going to reschedule.
00:43:34Is that cool with you?
00:43:36Are you having a poker marathon?
00:43:38No.
00:43:39We were just, you know,
00:43:40we kind of came by, you know,
00:43:42saying hello.
00:43:43Oh, well, it's no big deal
00:43:44because I had to take off anyway, so...
00:43:46We'll see you later.
00:43:49I'll text you later.
00:43:50Yeah.
00:43:51Aren't you going to walk me to the door?
00:43:53Of course, yes.
00:43:54I'm going to take you through the back door.
00:43:55Back door.
00:43:55Back door?
00:43:56Yes, yes.
00:43:56Hey, man, you all got to leave, man.
00:43:58You got to leave, man.
00:43:59You got to go.
00:44:00I'm not going to leave, man.
00:44:01I have a sure thing, man.
00:44:01Sure thing?
00:44:02Come on, Urkel.
00:44:02You have a sure thing.
00:44:03Urkel?
00:44:07Yeah, you might want to be cremated
00:44:11because there won't be enough remains left to bury.
00:44:13Yo, D, this girl, that fine.
00:44:17She's that hot.
00:44:18You black men hang like elephants?
00:44:20She is hot.
00:44:22There's actually two species of elephants.
00:44:25What?
00:44:26Well, why don't you just take her here?
00:44:29Wait a minute, J-Man.
00:44:31Would you possibly consider occasionally
00:44:33subletting this place to me
00:44:36and my alter ego?
00:44:38You know what?
00:44:38I'm going to get any of that as you got.
00:44:40I feel a little alter ego coming on with myself.
00:44:42I'm like Spider-Man.
00:44:44I'm sure I can talk to the owners
00:44:45about leasing this place to us.
00:44:46Yeah?
00:44:47Yeah.
00:44:47How much for three of us?
00:44:49For four?
00:44:51What?
00:44:53But I don't have any action on the side.
00:44:55What's up?
00:44:55You can come here
00:44:55and you can master the bait
00:44:56and watch porn, you know?
00:44:58You haven't banged your barber yet?
00:45:00I'm married, Juan.
00:45:03To a woman who won't let you watch porn
00:45:04or jack off and doesn't even have sex with you.
00:45:06What do you mean?
00:45:07Tom, we're all married, man.
00:45:10Yeah, but I don't need to.
00:45:12I'm happily married.
00:45:13Come on, guys.
00:45:14No, you're not.
00:45:17Contently married?
00:45:18Okay.
00:45:19I don't know.
00:45:21I'm not miserable.
00:45:23Well, occasionally I'm not miserable, you know,
00:45:26and that's more than most married guys can say.
00:45:29Okay, so then why are you still stalking this barber of yours?
00:45:33She is wonderful.
00:45:36Awesome.
00:45:37Beautiful.
00:45:39Yeah.
00:45:40Okay, so let me ask you this.
00:45:41If this wonderful girl decides to give you that chance,
00:45:45where are you going to take her, Tom?
00:45:47Can't go home?
00:45:48Well, I didn't think about that part in advance.
00:45:51She is a babe, Tom.
00:46:08Are you going to tell me why I had to dress in all black?
00:46:11So what's the problem, Tom?
00:46:12My wife?
00:46:13I mean, I don't feel right about this.
00:46:15Okay.
00:46:15You're letting your tortured Catholic upbringing cloud your senses.
00:46:19I love the new Pope.
00:46:20You know, he's so progressive.
00:46:21Okay, okay, okay.
00:46:21I want you to focus.
00:46:23Okay, I want you to do what I say and do not think about it.
00:46:25I want you to tell her that your wife was just killed in a horrible car accident.
00:46:32I mean, blood everywhere, five car pile up, unborn baby is dead.
00:46:36You've used your tears to masturbate for the past five days.
00:46:40What?
00:46:41I can't tell her that.
00:46:42Well, Tom, it's either that, or you walk in there, you tell her you're with the men in black,
00:46:47and the only way to save the world is to have sex with you.
00:46:50That's even worse.
00:46:51I can't tell her any of that stuff.
00:46:53It would help if you were crying.
00:46:57But I don't feel like crying.
00:46:59Cry!
00:46:59Oh, no!
00:47:00Cry!
00:47:00I'm sorry!
00:47:01Cry, goddammit!
00:47:03That was fun.
00:47:04Oh!
00:47:17What's up, Tom?
00:47:22You don't have an appointment, do you?
00:47:25What happened?
00:47:26Are you okay?
00:47:28My wife.
00:47:29She was killed in a car accident.
00:47:32Shit.
00:47:35Oh, my God.
00:47:38Oh, my God, Tom.
00:47:40Tom, it's going to be okay, I promise.
00:47:42I'm so sorry.
00:47:47Okay, feel the sensuality of the music.
00:47:59Let it flow through your body.
00:48:03Let it connect us like lovers.
00:48:05Juan, Juan, I have a date tonight.
00:48:07Congratulations.
00:48:08Well, what do I do now?
00:48:10Tell her you don't want to be alone.
00:48:12Oh, right.
00:48:14But then what?
00:48:15Tom, it's the mansion set up.
00:48:19It has to look like you live there.
00:48:20Right, right.
00:48:24Sorry about Tom.
00:48:25Who?
00:48:26Who?
00:48:45Honey, what are you doing?
00:48:51Hey.
00:48:53Where's my portrait?
00:48:55Oh, I forgot to tell you that it cracked.
00:48:57I took it to the framers.
00:48:59Why?
00:49:01I was trying to kill a pantry moth,
00:49:03and it fell and cracked.
00:49:04A pantry moth?
00:49:05What are you doing?
00:49:12I can't have pieces of broken glass in the carpet.
00:49:15I already vacuumed.
00:49:19That's it.
00:49:20We're going to have to fumigate.
00:49:21For pieces of glass?
00:49:22No.
00:49:23Pantry moth.
00:49:25It was just one moth.
00:49:26It was just one that you saw.
00:49:28I got some emails to check,
00:49:35then I'm going to go to bed.
00:49:37Okay, sounds good.
00:49:38I'm going to do a little reading
00:49:39and go for a walk.
00:49:41Okay.
00:49:42All right?
00:49:43Good night.
00:49:44Good night.
00:49:44Good night.
00:49:44Good night.
00:50:14What's that?
00:50:21What?
00:50:22I think there's someone in the house.
00:50:24You do?
00:50:24Okay.
00:50:25Wait a minute.
00:50:32Hey, hey, guess what?
00:50:34What the hell are you doing here?
00:50:35I got a date tonight.
00:50:36I need to get my stuff set up.
00:50:37Oh, no.
00:50:38What?
00:50:39Why are we whispering?
00:50:40Because I got a date right now,
00:50:41and my stuff is already set up.
00:50:43Oh, damn.
00:50:43Man, I got a sure thing, though.
00:50:44Come on.
00:50:45You can't hook me up?
00:50:45Okay.
00:50:46My clothes are downstairs.
00:50:47Meet me down there,
00:50:48and I get dressed, okay?
00:50:49All right.
00:50:54Great seeing you, Ron.
00:50:55Oh, great seeing you too, Tom.
00:50:56I want to thank you all for helping me
00:50:58straight up around here.
00:50:58Yeah, no, no problem.
00:50:59Yeah, I'll see you later.
00:51:00Anytime.
00:51:01Hey.
00:51:01Hey, babe.
00:51:02Hey!
00:51:02Hey, if you don't get your arms off of me,
00:51:05I'm going to rip it off.
00:51:06Sorry.
00:51:07I don't know what's going on around here,
00:51:09but if I get home and Duke's not there asleep,
00:51:13I'm going to come back here,
00:51:15and I'm going to fuck somebody up.
00:51:17Okay.
00:51:18Hey, wait.
00:51:19Don't move on.
00:51:19Don't move on.
00:51:23Oh.
00:51:24Oh.
00:51:25Oh.
00:51:25Oh.
00:51:25Oh.
00:51:25Oh.
00:51:26Oh.
00:51:26Oh.
00:51:26Oh.
00:51:26Oh.
00:51:26Oh.
00:51:26Oh.
00:51:26Oh.
00:51:27Oh.
00:51:27Oh.
00:51:28Oh, you want to go to the bedroom?
00:51:30Hey, why don't we start in the bedroom?
00:51:32Come back and get a jacuzzi.
00:51:35We're going to do it in the oven pit.
00:51:36We're going to do it everywhere.
00:51:37It's going to be a pleasure, too.
00:51:38That's right.
00:51:39We're going to put it in a garbage can.
00:51:41Hey, we're going to get dirty tonight.
00:51:42Oh, come on.
00:51:43Dirty.
00:51:44What are you talking about?
00:51:46There.
00:51:46I got it.
00:51:48Now you can stop complaining.
00:51:51That's the best you can do?
00:51:55Why do I have to get out of here?
00:51:56I own the place.
00:51:58Don't forget your mommy's lasagna on the way home, okay, dear?
00:52:00Hey, Dad.
00:52:11What's wrong?
00:52:12I was really hoping Rebecca would be here.
00:52:15You just missed her.
00:52:17Man, with my luck lately, I'm not surprised.
00:52:20Tom.
00:52:25I'm done practice at an event.
00:52:26Do you want to hang out?
00:52:27You probably have better things to do.
00:52:31No.
00:52:32I insist.
00:52:43Thank you for being there.
00:52:45Glad to help.
00:52:46I hope this doesn't screw up anything between you and Rebecca.
00:52:51Oh, no.
00:52:51She's hoping anything that gets me through this morning period.
00:52:56She's so understanding.
00:52:59She's an angel.
00:52:59But, but I don't think you should say anything to her.
00:53:07I agree.
00:53:09Nothing.
00:53:11Well, I'll just take down your number.
00:53:12I cut men's hair right now.
00:53:14I'm sure dogs would like the same thing, right?
00:53:16Yeah.
00:53:16It could hurt you easy.
00:53:18I'm sorry.
00:53:19One second.
00:53:20Motherfucker.
00:53:37I just saw Kate.
00:53:40Tom's wife.
00:53:41That's impossible.
00:53:43She's dead.
00:53:44No, no, no.
00:53:45I am really, really good with faces.
00:53:47And it was her.
00:53:49You've only seen that one photo of her on the nightstand.
00:53:51How do you know about the photo?
00:53:53You told me about it.
00:53:55Yeah, you said he wrapped it in a black ribbon.
00:53:58I got a picture of her license plate.
00:54:02Don't you know what guy?
00:54:04I got a guy at D&B.
00:54:06I'm going to have him run it for us.
00:54:11So I slam dunked it and we won the game.
00:54:13No way.
00:54:14Yeah.
00:54:16That's awesome.
00:54:17Well, I guess I'm kind of awesome.
00:54:19So, Paul, you got a name for me?
00:54:22Kate White.
00:54:23Kate White.
00:54:25Got it.
00:54:26Thanks, doll.
00:54:27What a sick fucking bastard.
00:54:31I can't believe he did this to me.
00:54:33I mean, I can't believe he did this to you.
00:54:37You being my best friend.
00:54:42He is going to so wish he never met me.
00:54:47You know what?
00:54:48Whatever you're planning, count me in.
00:54:49Nobody does this to me.
00:54:50I mean, to my friends.
00:54:57Yes?
00:55:08Hi, I'm Rebecca.
00:55:10And I'm Tiffany.
00:55:11We're Tom's friends.
00:55:14Really?
00:55:15He never mentioned you two before.
00:55:18Yeah, maybe friend isn't the right word.
00:55:21May I come in?
00:55:22Love Earth.
00:55:36He told me you were dead.
00:55:37As a matter of fact, you died in a car accident.
00:55:39Oh, same.
00:55:40I just felt sorry for him.
00:55:42He came in crying and then next thing I know, we were in bed.
00:55:46Yeah, me too.
00:55:47He has a picture of you on a mantle.
00:55:51My photo?
00:55:51Draped in black silk.
00:55:54Where's my photo?
00:55:55It's at the mansion.
00:55:56What mansion?
00:55:57Where's the mansion?
00:55:59It's...
00:56:00Never mind.
00:56:01I'm going to put his balls in a meat grinder.
00:56:03We want to help.
00:56:05Okay.
00:56:06All right.
00:56:07Let me think.
00:56:08Okay.
00:56:09He wants me dead, huh?
00:56:12Okay.
00:56:12I'll give him dead.
00:56:14Where's this mansion?
00:56:15I know where the bedroom is.
00:56:18What'd I do?
00:56:22Okay, Dad.
00:56:27Tom.
00:56:29Just the guy I wanted to see.
00:56:32How are you?
00:56:33Good.
00:56:34You?
00:56:35You know, Tiffany told me about the two of you.
00:56:38Your little rendezvous.
00:56:40She did?
00:56:41It's okay.
00:56:42I completely understand.
00:56:45As a matter of fact, I was thinking that, you know, her and I could make you feel good
00:56:51together.
00:56:53Really?
00:56:54Mm-hmm.
00:56:56Have you ever been with two women, Tom?
00:56:58Are you kidding?
00:56:59I mean, I had the opportunity a few times, but, you know, that was back when my wife was
00:57:05alive, and I would never cheat on her.
00:57:07No, of course not.
00:57:08She's not here anymore.
00:57:09So tonight?
00:57:11Mm-hmm.
00:57:13Tonight, yeah.
00:57:14Does that work for you?
00:57:15Sure.
00:57:17I would bring lots of protection.
00:57:21See you tonight, then.
00:57:22So this is a love shack.
00:57:41Apparently.
00:57:42That is not my shade.
00:57:44How many women is he sleeping with?
00:57:48Wow.
00:57:50You didn't wash her such a big mansion.
00:57:52And I thought my neighbors were annoying.
00:57:54Look, let's just carry on with the plan.
00:57:57Casanova could show up early.
00:58:06Kate.
00:58:07It's okay.
00:58:08I know how to use it.
00:58:10Okay.
00:58:11I'm going to go get in position.
00:58:12Good idea.
00:58:13We're about five minutes from being set up.
00:58:15Did you do something?
00:58:16Wait, what do you want me to do?
00:58:18Here are the fake blood packets.
00:58:21Oh, it's in a condom.
00:58:24Was she on her period?
00:58:27Oh.
00:58:28Look.
00:58:28When I start shooting, slap it on your chest,
00:58:30and they'll burst open.
00:58:31But it's in a condom, and I'm wearing Coco Chanel.
00:58:35I'll pay for your dry cleaning.
00:58:38Okay.
00:58:39I'm going to come in, and I'm going to yell,
00:58:41I have a gun.
00:58:42And then you guys get the blood packs ready.
00:58:45Okay.
00:58:45Got it.
00:58:49What's that noise?
00:58:50She said she have a gun?
00:58:52Who is she?
00:58:53How the hell am I supposed to know?
00:58:54I don't know.
00:58:55All I know this mansion is jinx.
00:58:57Fuck.
00:58:58You know what?
00:58:59Let's go ahead and go.
00:59:00Okay.
00:59:00What's going on, hon, child?
00:59:07I'm listening.
00:59:07Give me a minute.
00:59:08They're having an argument.
00:59:10We should call the police.
00:59:11The police?
00:59:12Really?
00:59:13Yeah, it's the police.
00:59:14Oh, this is Rebecca.
00:59:15This is Tom's hair, stylist friend.
00:59:19Hi, I'm Tiffany.
00:59:20How are you?
00:59:21Hi.
00:59:22Okay, okay.
00:59:23Well, look, sorry it's been some type of mistake,
00:59:24so you all got to get out of here, man.
00:59:26I got an important day tonight.
00:59:27Monday, you said that I could have the mansion.
00:59:29No, man, you got to go.
00:59:30Oh, man, I got to go.
00:59:31He has a key.
00:59:33I have his key, dumbass.
00:59:35Wait, how do you have his key?
00:59:38Where is Sunday?
00:59:40Okay, forget it.
00:59:41We're not going to call the police.
00:59:44Wait a minute.
00:59:44Is that Dr. English?
00:59:46Dr. Who?
00:59:47Dr. English.
00:59:48Wait right here.
00:59:49I'll be right back.
00:59:54Listen, it is imperative I see Sunday immediately.
00:59:57Where is she?
00:59:57Okay, look, Dr. English.
00:59:59Sunday is not here.
01:00:00Maybe she's with J-Man or something.
01:00:02J-Man?
01:00:03What the hell is going on here?
01:00:06Mr. Johnson, where is Sunday?
01:00:08She's upstairs.
01:00:10So you're in on this, too?
01:00:11In on what?
01:00:12Ron D., you said it was cool for me to get the mansion today, man.
01:00:15I never said that.
01:00:15Oh, oh.
01:00:16Just like I said it was okay for Juan to do that, too, huh?
01:00:18You did.
01:00:19I didn't, man.
01:00:21Look, right here.
01:00:22See?
01:00:22See the text?
01:00:23Texts don't lie.
01:00:28So, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:00:29So I got one date, right?
01:00:31Huh?
01:00:31Well, Will was right.
01:00:42Girls of the world ain't nothing but trouble.
01:00:45Hey, I'm going for a walk.
01:00:47I'm out.
01:00:48I'm out.
01:00:48I'm out.
01:01:18I'm out.
01:01:48I'm out.
01:02:18So you went on this, too?
01:02:19In on what, Ron D.?
01:02:20You said it was cool for me to have it mentioned today, bro.
01:02:23Never said nothing like that.
01:02:24Oh, like I'd say a Juan could stay here, too, huh?
01:02:26You did?
01:02:27See?
01:02:27Look, right here.
01:02:28Then the text.
01:02:29Texts don't lie.
01:02:30Man, I ain't saying that shit.
01:02:31Somebody said that?
01:02:32Who the hell said that again?
01:02:33I don't know.
01:02:34This is not going to be the way.
01:02:36I mean, come on.
01:02:37He's a human being.
01:02:38We can't do this here, Jamal.
01:02:39Wait a second.
01:02:40We can't do this.
01:02:42Samya.
01:02:43This is not the way.
01:02:43We said, Jamal, we gave him three days.
01:02:46That's three days that he has ignored us.
01:02:48It is disrespectful at this time.
01:02:50I know, but he doesn't have any understanding of our culture.
01:02:52I will not have this.
01:02:53Please, give me one picture.
01:02:57Let's go.
01:03:27Let's go.
01:03:57Let's tell my piss in the cup later, but you have to do it for me.
01:04:01I just hope you're not pregnant, or how would I explain this?
01:04:03Let's go.
01:04:04Let's go.
01:04:05Let's go.
01:04:06Let's go.
01:04:07Let's go.
01:04:08Let's go.
01:04:09Let's go.
01:04:10Let's go.
01:04:11Let's go.
01:04:12Let's go.
01:04:13Let's go.
01:04:14Let's go.
01:04:15Let's go.
01:04:16Let's go.
01:04:17Let's go.
01:04:18Let's go.
01:04:19Let's go.
01:04:20Oh, Jamal, what are you doing here?
01:04:22Who is this man?
01:04:26This is Rondy.
01:04:29Rondy, my brother Jamal.
01:04:31Hey, man.
01:04:32Hey.
01:04:33You married without my permission?
01:04:34No, no, no.
01:04:35We're not married.
01:04:36What?
01:04:37Defiler.
01:04:38Cover yourself, sister.
01:04:39Then you, come forward.
01:04:40Look, Jamal.
01:04:41It's different here.
01:04:42It's a totally different culture.
01:04:43Um, Rondy's actually my partner.
01:04:44Partner?
01:04:45Do you lie with this man, Rondy?
01:04:50Your silence has answered my question.
01:05:05Rondy, you must choose to do honor to my family, or suffer the fate of an infidel.
01:05:12The fate of a defiler.
01:05:15You must marry Samia before Jamal.
01:05:18Before Jamal?
01:05:19Who the hell is Jamal?
01:05:20Well, it's Friday.
01:05:22Okay, okay.
01:05:23So what if I decide to be this defiler?
01:05:26Regretfully, you both will be stoned to death.
01:05:30You haven't told Jamal to decide.
01:05:33Wait, Jamal.
01:05:34Hold up.
01:05:35So he's Jamal?
01:05:36Some other dude named Jamal?
01:05:37What's...
01:05:38Oh, come on.
01:05:39This is not funny.
01:05:40Everything is funny to me.
01:05:41Everything is funny to me.
01:05:42This is ridiculous.
01:05:43How did they know they would be arriving so soon?
01:05:45I don't know who this damn Jamal is.
01:05:47I'm really sorry about my family.
01:05:57I had no idea they would be arriving so soon.
01:05:59That's all you gotta say?
01:06:01So wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:06:03You knew that Adam's family was gonna attack me?
01:06:05You didn't wanna warn me?
01:06:06Adam's family?
01:06:07Now you're going to insult my family?
01:06:09Okay, okay.
01:06:10I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
01:06:11But you have to admit they're a little strange, right?
01:06:13Strange?
01:06:14Well, maybe they're just not what you used to.
01:06:17What I'm used to?
01:06:18Babe, your brother threatened to stone us to death in three days.
01:06:21I'm not even making that up.
01:06:22I couldn't even put that in my stand-up.
01:06:24Okay, everybody, everybody, listen, listen, listen.
01:06:26My woman and I are going through this little problem.
01:06:28Her family's gonna stone us to death in three days.
01:06:30And we're trying to decide what to wear.
01:06:32Well, it's not funny.
01:06:34Okay, babe, babe, listen, listen.
01:06:36Stoning it down, I'm just, I guess I'm out of my league.
01:06:39So what do you suggest we do?
01:06:41Well, we never really talk about our future.
01:06:44But I've been feeling that we are heading towards marriage.
01:06:51Unless I'm imagining.
01:06:52No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:06:54I love you.
01:06:55I really do.
01:06:56Then why we don't tell to my family that we're gonna get married?
01:06:59Okay, you know what?
01:07:01I guess it's no good time to tell you this and...
01:07:04I am sorry, alright?
01:07:07What?
01:07:12What?
01:07:15Are you married?
01:07:18Oh, my God.
01:07:20Yeah, I've been trying to tell you, but it's...
01:07:22It's complicated.
01:07:24Well, complicated?
01:07:25Well, I'm sorry to complicate your life.
01:07:27No, no.
01:07:28I mean, what are you talking about?
01:07:29No, that's not what I meant.
01:07:30Listen, listen, listen, listen.
01:07:32Look at me.
01:07:33I can't believe this is happening.
01:07:34Hey, hey, hey, listen.
01:07:35Focus.
01:07:36Look at me.
01:07:37Alright?
01:07:38Now, look, I love you.
01:07:39I really do.
01:07:40But I'm in a very bad marriage with, unfortunately, my wife.
01:07:43Look at me.
01:07:44It's my business manager.
01:07:45So I have to be very careful on how I not end my career by ending this marriage.
01:07:50You understand?
01:07:55Then you have just three days, or you would like to be stoned to death.
01:07:59Then I'll see how that complication due to your career.
01:08:02What are you?
01:08:03Let's go.
01:08:04Let's go.
01:08:05Let's go.
01:08:06Let's go.
01:08:07Let's go.
01:08:08Let's go.
01:08:09Let's go.
01:08:10Let's go.
01:08:11Let's go.
01:08:12Let's go.
01:08:13Let's go.
01:08:31You already have a number one wife.
01:08:33This is unfortunate.
01:08:34The dowry for a number one wife is a gold bullion worth very much money on today's COMEX gold index.
01:08:45Dowry for a number two wife, not so good.
01:08:50Number two wife?
01:08:51Don't even think about it.
01:08:52Babe, I'm trying.
01:08:53I mean, that's me, you, and hers, a legal threesome to death do us part, babe.
01:08:57I mean, Tremont, finish.
01:08:58In three days, we observe Jemaah.
01:09:02Then we proceed with a wedding or a stoning.
01:09:06This will be your decision.
01:09:08Hey, man.
01:09:09Come on.
01:09:10But now, let me ask you this.
01:09:11So what is the dowry for a second wife?
01:09:14Babe, I'm just asking.
01:09:16Tremont, that's my dude.
01:09:18The next born camel and 1,000 pounds of genetically engineered cotton seed for your farm.
01:09:24Oh, I don't have a farm.
01:09:26I just smoke it.
01:09:27I don't grow it.
01:09:28But, man, let's just hit this peace pipe and let's just call it even, man.
01:09:31Samia.
01:09:32I'm going to talk to Ron.
01:09:36Jemaah is now over.
01:09:37Your Rondee must decide.
01:09:38I'm going to let you know as soon as he gives his answer.
01:09:40No need.
01:09:41We all go together.
01:09:42Well, no.
01:09:43Wait, wait, wait.
01:09:44It's better if I go by myself.
01:09:45Yalla yalla.
01:09:46Put the stones in the minivan and call the others.
01:09:53That's crazy.
01:09:58This is not the time.
01:09:59We sent him to the house.
01:10:00Was he?
01:10:01I'm going to talk to Ron.
01:10:02I'm going to talk to Ron.
01:10:03Jamiaah is now over.
01:10:04Your Rondee must decide.
01:10:05I'm going to let you know as soon as he gives his answer.
01:10:06No need.
01:10:07We all go together.
01:10:08No, wait, wait.
01:10:09It's better if I go by myself.
01:10:11this is not the way we gave him three days that's three days that he has ignored us
01:10:18it is disrespectful at this time i know but he doesn't have any understanding of our culture
01:10:22please give me one more chance how are you and why are you here i need to get out of here
01:10:30see i gotta deal with this shit right
01:10:41how many wives you have those aren't my wives but you can have this one right here sure
01:10:47show you a good time it's all you put the stones over there and be ready you really brought stones
01:10:54it is now time ron d for your decision
01:10:58man i tell you i love you i truly do so will you do the honor of being my second wife just for now
01:11:18just until you can be my first wife and i promise when you can you will be all right
01:11:24come on okay no problem okay
01:11:31i don't know what you do this is ridiculous prince alibaba is going to stone us if we tell him to leave
01:11:44is it your figure tom the way this day is going i doubt it but i might as well continue my hostess duties
01:11:55well hello tom hello there welcome welcome to the party wait hold on a second who are all these
01:12:07people it's the party dude the party dude who's the party dude you're the party dude okay whatever
01:12:14man rebecca i'm so sorry i don't i don't know what's going on here
01:12:18it's okay i like your friends tom
01:12:24you see that you mean the baby or the gun now we need to investigate let's go
01:12:42what we need honey are you a tired girl why are you worried about that we totally work in the salon
01:12:54but this is not the case
01:12:55ron d texted me said that we got this
01:12:57whoa wait wait wait wait wait wait wait come on now who's at the damn door
01:13:01this is ridiculous who are you cousin you're late
01:13:07i don't know what's happening
01:13:13kate kate kate kate
01:13:21i'm so sorry kate i didn't mean for any of this to happen
01:13:24yeah sorry so you want me dead
01:13:29this man cheated on you yes but it all ends now put gun down we have stones
01:13:37i don't have time for that let's see how much sympathy you get from two dead mistresses
01:13:47freeze everyone on your knees hands behind your head
01:13:51you on your knees now i'm near for no man i have diplomatic immunity
01:13:56you better be immune to layer poison down on your knees cousin and family has been insulted
01:14:02what the stop that no i said stop that officers being attacked we need backup send backup i said
01:14:11fucking stop that i said freeze
01:14:14so i looked at her and i just said fuck you
01:14:21and what else can you say what else can you say
01:14:23what else can you say
01:14:34i don't need nobody else
01:14:37nobody else
01:14:39all the time
01:14:41i never trust somebody else
01:14:44i don't need nobody else
01:14:46talk to her man
01:14:49yo i had a thing in the past about trusting women
01:14:52they steal my heart fast when i ain't looking
01:14:55guess i'm too naive and that's why i'm tooken
01:14:57all the time on the ride left and sent you booking
01:15:00i gave her my all she was disloyal you check the expiration date we let the milk spoil you
01:15:05said out too long love and the thrill's gone
01:15:08try to steal my joy but i'm still strong i'm still shown
01:15:11it feels wrong holding on to a love that has been scorned
01:15:15even though she looked like someone
01:15:17help help disabled any distress
01:15:19i don't know what's going on
01:15:22thank you ladies
01:15:23you saved my life
01:15:25i'm okay yeah
01:15:27i'm okay now thanks
01:15:30i put my leg down
01:15:32are you sure
01:15:33i'm all right yeah
01:15:35what's your name huh
01:15:37madman michael
01:15:49i was rocking mary j reminisce
01:15:51that's when we had a bar on that rule with an iron fist
01:15:54fellas were jealous for sure you had the ladies pissed
01:15:56they said it's too good to be true good men don't exist
01:15:59never insecure you ignore all them chicks
01:16:02see it you want it you got it it was nothing less
01:16:04without your hand you got the black american express
01:16:07the good life she had it all nothing but the best
01:16:09she sat me down and said she had to confess
01:16:12man what is your mind
01:16:13i never trust somebody else
01:16:16i never trust somebody else
01:16:17i ain't nobody else
01:16:20n-n-n-nobody like you
01:16:22i never trust somebody else
01:16:26i don't trust nobody else
01:16:30n-n-nobody like you
01:16:33she was the one that i trusted
01:16:35who would ever think that she would spread like mustard
01:16:37see me with my new chick now you disgusted
01:16:40fix your face you was the one that got busted
01:16:44hey yo girl you like caviar you like sizzler
01:16:49slizzler i'm gonna buy you denny rolling patties
01:16:53okay plus man she wanted to suck my dick backwards
01:16:57yeah like bent it over now three times like juicy jay
01:17:01like anal fuck man i was gonna take her to the one dollar discount store
01:17:04buy her some trinkets
01:17:07and then and insert my penis inside of her
01:17:11softly with the one dollar condom
01:17:14essential
01:17:16all right
01:17:17i heard you make make me want to take my pants off you guys go the same way
01:17:20uh no yeah you do i can see it in your eyes i can definitely see it in your eyes
01:17:24fuck you
01:17:24fuck you
01:17:25that's hot
01:17:27not unless he's a ruPaul drag race
01:17:30it's rebecca
01:17:31i'm rebecca idiot
01:17:32hey babe if that's elvis you seeing ghosts run
01:17:35or those shrooms i gave you
01:17:37hey babe why you up give me a sun kiss and shake it up
01:17:39you know i like it fizzy girl
01:17:41hey babe you know i sense you up you got a minute why don't you go to mcdonald's
01:17:45babe hit the door it's dominoes hey babe
01:17:48babe why y'all go ahead and put on that big bird suit you know i love that sesame street role play
01:17:53i don't know something about sesame street yeah come back dressed as kermit the frog
01:17:58nah i can't say that
01:18:08i don't trust somebody else
01:18:10i don't need nobody else
01:18:13uh-uh
01:18:14huh nobody else
01:18:16all the time
01:18:17i never trust somebody else
01:18:21i don't need nobody else
01:18:23talk to him man
01:18:25yo i had a thing in the past about trusting women
01:18:29they steal my heart fast when i ain't looking
01:18:31guess i'm too naive and that's why i'm tooken
01:18:34all the time on the ride left and sent you booking
01:18:37gave her my all she was disloyal you check the expiration date we let the milk spoil you
01:18:42set out too long love and the thrills gone
01:18:44try to steal my joy but i'm still strong
01:18:47i'm still shown it feels wrong holding on to a love that has been scorned
01:18:52even though she looked like summer hike in dusk till dawn
01:18:55congratulate yourself you inspired this song
01:18:57you know that right
01:18:59i never trust somebody else
01:19:03i never trust somebody else
01:19:13i never trust somebody else
01:19:15nobody like you
01:19:17yo we used to chill in the crib and just watch flips
01:19:20then later hit the mall shop for some kicks
01:19:23can't do like then it's just us we just want to kiss
01:19:25talk for hours rocking mary j reminisce
01:19:28that's when we had a bar on that rule with an iron fist
01:19:31fellas were jealous for sure you had the ladies pissed
01:19:33they said it's too good to be true good men don't exist
01:19:36never insecure you ignore all them chicks see it you want it you got it it was nothing less
01:19:41without your hand you got the black american express the good life she had it all nothing but the best
01:19:46she sat me down and said she had to confess
01:19:58nobody like you
01:20:00were as one hazardous
01:20:04had
01:20:06new edition
01:20:08uh
01:20:10you
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