College Coeds vs. Zombie Housewives (2015)

Hollywood Archive

Efforts to develop a new sexual enhancement formula go terribly wrong when the beautiful test subjects lapse into a trance-like state.

Transcript

00:00:00Get off of me!

00:00:07Get off of me!

00:00:30Get off of me!

00:01:00Get off of me!

00:01:30Get off of me!

00:01:40Good morning, my little muffin.

00:01:41Listen, darling, I was wondering, you know, since I was working late at the lab last night and when I got home you were already in bed snoring away, I was just wondering if, you know, you might want a little morning pick-me-up. What do you say?

00:02:01What's that, dear?

00:02:08I said, I thought you might want to, you know...

00:02:13Oh, Gary, you know, I don't like it in the morning.

00:02:17Yeah, but you don't like it in the evening either. Or the afternoon. Or any time, for that matter.

00:02:25Soon, dear, soon.

00:02:29Sure. Whatever.

00:02:32Where are you going?

00:02:39I'm gonna go in the lab, see if I can get some work done.

00:02:42On a Saturday?

00:02:43Well, the formula for that new drug we're developing has been giving us a lot of problems, and we're expecting some results in today. Unless there's a reason for me to stay home.

00:02:53Um, have a good day, dear.

00:02:56Of course.

00:03:04Hey, buddy.

00:03:06Hank, what are you doing here?

00:03:07I thought I'd swing by, see if you want to play a little game of tennis today?

00:03:11Oh, maybe later. I have to go to work, though.

00:03:14On a Saturday?

00:03:15That's what my wife said.

00:03:17Oh, hey, Tracy.

00:03:18Good morning, Hank.

00:03:20Yeah, call me. We'll set something up. I really have to go.

00:03:23Will do.

00:03:28So, your husband left you all alone on a Saturday?

00:03:31I guess so. Looks like I'm gonna be pretty bored.

00:03:34Hmm. Seems like we should be able to find something for you to do.

00:03:39Yes, we should.

00:03:40Hmm.

00:03:53Oh, baby.

00:04:01Oh, baby.

00:04:06Oh, wow.

00:04:10Oh, baby.

00:09:14Where else would I be?

00:09:16I knew the preliminary results were coming in today.

00:09:19And?

00:09:19How are they looking?

00:09:21Very promising.

00:09:22It looks like RDU 47 may be a success after all.

00:09:25It was a brilliant idea.

00:09:27Well, I figured if men, I figured if men have their little blue pills, then something to enhance the sexual libido of women was only fair.

00:09:34Whatever gave me?

00:09:35What was the story?

00:09:37What gave you?

00:09:38What gave you the initial idea?

00:09:39What gave you the initial idea?

00:09:40What gave you the initial idea?

00:09:41Oh, sorry.

00:09:41And she just hasn't been interested in sex lately.

00:09:43I thought this might help.

00:09:44Well, it certainly helped all the rats and monkeys on the test.

00:09:49They were going at it like rabbits.

00:09:51Yeah, I see.

00:09:53So were the rabbits.

00:09:54Right?

00:09:55It is promising, but some of the potential side effects have yet to be fully administered.

00:10:00There were some early signs of a secondary reaction, but it's still very unclear.

00:10:04They're running more tests now.

00:10:06I heard they brought in raccoons, chipmunks, and beavers.

00:10:10That's all well and good, but at this rate, my wife and I will be in a retirement home before this drug is finalized.

00:10:15Well, these things do take time, but it'll be worth the wait.

00:10:18If only we could move faster on this, test it on a human, then we can be sure.

00:10:26But I guess that's years away.

00:10:31Why does it have to be?

00:10:33What?

00:10:35Why does it have to take years?

00:10:37We could test it now.

00:10:39Marilyn, are you sure you want to do this?

00:10:42Of course.

00:10:44Look, Gary, I have no one at home.

00:10:46I'm married to my job.

00:10:47My work is my life.

00:10:50Let me do this.

00:10:53Well, okay, go ahead.

00:11:02Well, are you feeling anything yet?

00:11:06Some of the animal subjects had an immediate response.

00:11:08Yes, I think so.

00:11:13Yes, I'm definitely feeling something.

00:11:15Is it sexual?

00:11:16Do you have an uncontrollable urge to have sex?

00:11:20Yes, I think...

00:11:21I definitely want to have sex.

00:11:24That's wonderful!

00:11:25No, Gary, you don't understand.

00:11:30I definitely want to have sex.

00:11:35Oh.

00:11:37Oh.

00:11:41Well, I guess in the name of science...

00:11:47You don't understand.

00:21:08Right, right, right, right.

00:24:07Yeah, you know, I kind of, I feel a little bit that way myself.

00:30:37I don't know how to explain this.

00:31:37It's difficult.

00:33:07That's what I'm saying.

00:34:07Tracy, are you okay?

00:35:37See you soon.

00:41:07Gary, there you are.

00:41:37I was just doing...

00:42:07oh nothing i guess what were you saying are you all right

00:42:15hello gary don't forget to go to the liquor store on the way home we're out of rum rum you didn't

00:42:27forget that we're having a cocktail party this afternoon did you oh cocktail party uh no uh

00:42:34sure yeah i'm i'm leaving now i'll i'll i'll see you soon oh god i'm married to a dumbass

00:42:43listen i've got to run i'll be gone for the rest of the day are you going to be all right here

00:42:49what oh sure yeah you'll be all right

00:43:04yes may i help you i'd like that sorry i'm hank gary your neighbor he's my best friend

00:43:17oh okay please come in don't mind if i do

00:43:21girls this is hank a friend of gary's hello hi this is judy and laurel and i'm tara

00:43:38ladies i just wanted to come by and welcome you guys to the neighborhood

00:43:43gary told me that you were new in town and i just wanted to stop in and see if there was anything

00:43:49you needed and i do mean anything

00:43:52hello

00:44:02maryland it's steve over in testing

00:44:07steve yeah listen we've been running a lot more tests and whatever you do you've got to make sure

00:44:15that rdu 47 is destroyed destroyed why because it's too damn dangerous i've got a room full of

00:44:25killer zombie rabbits over here killer zombie rabbits are you serious

00:44:31as a heart attack i got squirrels going after raccoons the the rats have overtaken the commissary

00:44:40i don't even want to tell you what the monkeys are up to oh no look the episodes seem to come and go

00:44:49you just can't predict when it's gonna happen steve it may already be too late what do you mean

00:44:56has someone taken the drug yes me and maybe a few other people oh no well we've got somebody

00:45:06working on an antidote i just hope they can make it in time you and me both

00:45:12cocktail party

00:45:24i'll get it

00:45:36hey carrie where's hank oh he had to run an errand he'll join us later an errand

00:45:48oh no the petersons canceled too so i guess it's just us well if you'd like more guests

00:45:55if you're thinking about inviting those sex pots from next door you better forget about it mister

00:46:00just trying to be neighborly well stop trying so hard carrie do you know when hank's gonna get here

00:46:07so there i was game on the line drop back deep in the pocket my wide receivers nowhere in sight

00:46:20offensive line getting smashed in i didn't have a choice i had to take it in myself

00:46:27for the game winning touchdown wow that's so exciting

00:46:35i was quite the football hero back in my college days

00:46:39none of the players on our team could ever make a play like that well you know tell us more what were

00:46:46you like back then you know the truth is when i was in college i always had a thing for cheerleaders

00:46:53but i was never able to seal the deal oh yeah it's kind of been my lifelong dream to one day fulfill

00:47:03that fantasy i think we might be able to make that happen right girls right

00:47:18so

00:47:27so

00:47:29so

00:47:39so

00:47:49so

00:47:51so

00:48:00so

00:48:02so

00:48:12so

00:48:14so

00:48:16so

00:48:27so

00:48:29so

00:48:41so

00:48:43so

00:48:54so

00:48:56so

00:49:10so

00:49:12so

00:49:22so

00:49:35so

00:49:37so

00:49:47so

00:50:01so

00:50:13so

00:50:26so

00:50:38so

00:50:52so

00:50:54so

00:51:04so

00:51:17so

00:51:19so

00:51:29so

00:51:43so

00:51:55so

00:51:57so

00:52:10so

00:52:22so

00:52:36so

00:52:48so

00:52:50so

00:53:03so

00:53:15so

00:53:17what could possibly be keeping hank

00:53:23what could possibly be keeping hank oh speak of the devil

00:53:31oh

00:53:35oh

00:53:39hello

00:53:46it's your work dear

00:53:46maryland

00:53:48maryland what are you doing here

00:53:51hi i'm carrie oh hello excuse me

00:53:57listen you imbecile i had to talk to you it couldn't wait till tomorrow

00:54:01no you don't understand

00:54:12hey there you are

00:54:17where the hell have you been uh i was just saying hi to the neighbors

00:54:26what

00:54:27what

00:54:27those cheerleaders

00:54:28well

00:54:29oh hank

00:54:31how could you do this to me after all carrie's my best friend

00:54:36uh

00:54:37i think you'd better leave

00:54:39i think you're right

00:54:41i'll see you tonight at home uh babe

00:54:43don't count on it

00:54:47are you okay

00:54:48i'm gonna go give those hussies a piece of my mind

00:54:56i wouldn't do that if i were you

00:54:58i bet you wouldn't

00:55:07here you could probably use this thanks

00:55:11tracy stop stop not until i've had my say

00:55:18wait wait why is any of this your business what do you care of hank sleeping around carrie's my

00:55:24friend then let her deal with it well you were over here the other day too yeah just to say hi and

00:55:30to welcome them to the neighborhood you expect me to believe that well it's the truth that was

00:55:35your husband

00:55:37yeah the lousy bum

00:55:40seems like he likes to chase anything the short skirt nowadays then why did you marry him

00:55:45because i used to be the one in the short skirt that he chased

00:55:49and he caught me

00:55:51damn those cheerleaders

00:55:53able to kick their legs so high in the air

00:55:57so wide

00:56:00i hate that they're causing you to be so upset

00:56:03oh that's sweet

00:56:06marilyn

00:56:07marilyn

00:56:11i think you need another drink

00:56:13oh no no no no two drinks and i will go down on anything with a skirt

00:56:20really then i know you need another drink well if you insist

00:56:33otherwise they can't really feel like he's never got a drink

00:56:36in the air

00:56:38so

00:56:44is

00:56:46so

01:02:53Can we go home now?

01:03:23Yeah, I'm sure they are.

01:03:25Yeah, I'm sure they are.

01:03:53Gary, listen.

01:03:55Gary, listen.

01:03:57I don't want to hear it.

01:03:58Thanks to you, I'm barely holding my marriage together.

01:04:00Me?

01:04:02Yes.

01:04:02If you hadn't tricked me into thinking RDU 47 work, none of this would have happened.

01:04:06I think those college co-ed, I think those college co-ed, I think those college co-ed, I think they're going to be right back.

01:04:16I think those college co-eds are the real source of your marital problems.

01:04:18...

01:04:22Maryland, Maryland, you know, what they're talking about, I think that they're living, they're going to start to make money, said they were just like, you know, they're returning to their school.

01:04:27Maryland.

01:04:28Maryland.

01:04:28I guess some people just don't know how to lose an argument.

01:04:31I guess some people just don't know how to lose an argument.

01:04:48Five, six, seven, eight.

01:04:50One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

01:05:01I hate those bitches.

01:05:31I hate those bitches.

01:06:01One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

01:06:09Marilyn!

01:06:11Gary, where's Marilyn?

01:06:12I don't know.

01:06:13She took off a while ago.

01:06:14I got the antidote.

01:06:17Antidote?

01:06:18The antidote to RDU-47.

01:06:21What?

01:06:21She didn't tell you?

01:06:23Tell me what?

01:06:24Oh, God.

01:06:31Killer zombie bunnies.

01:06:55And killer zombie raccoons.

01:06:57And killer zombie squirrels.

01:06:59I get it.

01:07:00I get it.

01:07:01So if a person were to take this drug...

01:07:03Killer zombie humans.

01:07:07Oh, no.

01:07:08And this is the antidote?

01:07:10Yes.

01:07:12What?

01:07:13What are you doing?

01:07:14Where are you going?

01:07:15Where are you going?

01:07:31Oh, girls, that's looking pretty good.

01:07:33I don't see any reason why we shouldn't make the state finals.

01:07:36Yeah.

01:07:36Oh, excuse me.

01:07:41Can I help you?

01:07:44Hello?

01:07:46Uh, this is private property.

01:07:50I think I recognize one of them.

01:07:51It's Gary's wife.

01:07:52I saw her outside their house the other day.

01:07:58Uh-oh.

01:07:59We didn't mean any harm.

01:08:01It was all in good fun.

01:08:02It, um...

01:08:05It's getting paid.

01:08:07What the hell is your problem, Lily?

01:08:09What the hell is wrong with you bitches?

01:08:13Ah!

01:08:15Ah!

01:08:16Ah!

01:08:23Ah!

01:08:25Oh, my God!

01:08:27What are you doing?

01:08:28Okay.

01:08:30Oh!

01:08:31Get off of me!

01:08:39Get off of me!

01:08:41What's wrong with you?

01:08:43Ah!

01:08:44Ah!

01:08:45Ah!

01:08:46He...

01:08:47He...

01:08:48He's my man.

01:08:58Judy!

01:08:59Judy!

01:09:01Are you all right?

01:09:05Yeah, I think this one's yours.

01:09:08Tracy?

01:09:11Hey, what the hell is going on here?

01:09:16He's my man.

01:09:20I thought she was your wife.

01:09:22Yeah, so did I.

01:09:24He's my man.

01:09:31What am I doing here?

01:09:51That's what I would like to know.

01:10:01Hank, what's going on here?

01:10:06Gosh, Carrie, how the hell would I know?

01:10:18Oh, Hank.

01:10:19Oh.

01:10:23What the hell just happened here?

01:10:26I'll explain it all later.

01:10:27Well, isn't this cozy?

01:10:29Sorry, Carrie.

01:10:30I meant to tell you.

01:10:32Wait, what?

01:10:34Gary, I'm leaving you for Hank.

01:10:36My bad, bro.

01:10:38Guess that's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.

01:10:42Sorry, toots.

01:10:48Hey, Gary.

01:10:49Tennis next weekend?

01:10:51Guess not.

01:10:54I can't believe this.

01:10:56Don't worry, Carrie.

01:10:57You don't need him.

01:10:59Come on.

01:11:00Let's go.

01:11:01Talk.

01:11:03Okay.

01:11:03Fine.

01:11:07See you at work tomorrow.

01:11:09I quit.

01:11:11Will somebody start making with explanations, please?

01:11:14Later, Kara.

01:11:16Oh.

01:11:17Hey, Kara, why don't we go get cleaned up?

01:11:20Oh, right.

01:11:21Okay.

01:11:22Okay.

01:11:23Okay.

01:11:24Okay.

01:11:25Okay.

01:11:26Okay.

01:11:27Okay.

01:11:28Okay.

01:11:29So, I guess that leaves just you and me.

01:11:32Right.

01:11:34No.

01:11:35That leaves just you and me.

01:11:39Oh.

01:11:40Right.

01:11:41Okay.

01:11:42Okay.

01:11:43Okay.

01:11:44Okay.

01:11:45Okay.

01:11:46Okay.

01:11:47Okay.

01:11:48Okay.

01:11:49Okay.

01:11:50Okay.

01:11:51Okay.

01:11:52Okay.

01:11:53Okay.

01:11:54Okay.

01:11:55Okay.

01:11:56Okay.

01:11:57Okay.

01:11:58Okay.

01:11:59Okay.

01:12:00Okay.

01:12:01Okay.

01:12:02Okay.

01:12:03Okay.

01:17:04So, how did it go today?

01:17:07You're looking at the captain of the new state cheerleading champs.

01:17:11Aw, congratulations. I knew you girls could do it.

01:17:15What about you?

01:17:16How was my best fiance's day?

01:17:18Oh, well, I developed this new formula today, and I think we've had enough of untested formulas for one lifetime?

01:17:30Yeah, maybe you're going to do it, God, I'm married to you, God, I'm married to a dumbass.

01:17:43God, I'm married to you, God, I'm married to you, God, I'm married to you, God, I heard they brought in raccoons, I heard they brought in raccoons, chipmunks, and beavers.

01:17:57And that new neighbor's name, I'm married to you, God, I'm married to you.

01:18:02And that new neighbor of ours is true.

01:18:06And that new neighbor of ours is so cool.

01:18:10Because I used to be the one in the short skirt that he chased.

01:18:10Yeah, but you don't like it in the evening either.

01:18:17Or the afternoon, or any time for that matter.

01:18:25I'm getting it all in regular, if you know what I mean.

01:18:33Yes? May I help you?

01:18:35We should probably limber up first. We don't want to injure ourselves.

01:18:47I've got a room full of killer zombie rabbits over here.

01:19:05I'm getting it all in regular, if you want to know what's going on.

01:19:13I'm getting it all in regular, if you want to know what's going on.

01:19:18La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

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