- 3 months ago
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00:00Hi everyone, my name is Tanya, I'm 19 years old and I have a congenital limb anomaly.
00:06The diagnosis is a congenital anomaly of the upper limbs and the right lower limb.
00:10They said it could be anything, such as my mom getting sick two or three times during
00:14her pregnancy, which could have affected it.
00:18At that time, my mom lived in a village in the Curzon region, surrounded by fields that
00:22were treated with chemicals.
00:25Some speculate that it may have had an effect, but the exact cause is unknown even to those
00:28involved.
00:29It might be genetic, but it's strange since no one in my family has ever had anything
00:34like this.
00:36When I was born, well, I basically looked the same, except I also had problems with my leg.
00:41It was shorter than this one and, well, it was, how can I explain, it was twisted and it was
00:46shorter itself.
00:48The knee was completely different, with no joints or kneecap.
00:52The foot was also twisted, turned toward me.
00:55Because this bone and this one are fused together, my arm can't straighten.
00:58It's always in this position and that's it.
01:03My arms, I think, have full sensation.
01:05Actually, not just thin, they really do.
01:07They are fully functional.
01:09The muscles are intact without atrophy and functioning normally.
01:13Until I was 17, I didn't get around in a wheelchair or with crutches.
01:16For me, a wheelchair was always no, anything but that.
01:21I got around on a bicycle.
01:23I hopped on one leg.
01:24I got around on a bicycle, on a regular bicycle.
01:28It's hard to believe, but that's how it was.
01:30We lived in a village where everyone knew each other, including our school principal.
01:34She used to say, Tanya, when are you going to stop flying around on that bicycle?
01:38I was just racing with the boys.
01:41I was always aware of my surroundings.
01:43I always knew I was different from everyone else, but I never really thought about it.
01:46I didn't worry about it.
01:47Maybe even back then, at five years old, I already kind of understood that.
01:51Well, the first question is, what happened to you?
01:53Why are you like this?
01:54Well, that's a normal question.
01:56Kids, of course, are going to ask that.
01:58It's logical.
01:59Maybe it's because I was so outgoing.
02:01Most likely, that's the reason.
02:03It wasn't like they asked me something that made me cry to my mom or really hurt my feelings.
02:07I was used to it, and it was fine for me back then.
02:11There was never a time when kids told me they wouldn't play with me.
02:16I underwent an amputation to receive a prosthesis.
02:18Doctors provided various options.
02:21They suggested transplanting toes from my left foot to my hands.
02:25I looked at them and said, am I a guinea pig?
02:27I immediately refused.
02:30They could have pulled it out and stretched it with different pins so that I could somehow
02:34try to walk.
02:35I asked, what are the chances that I will actually be able to walk normally and fully?
02:40They said, well, you know, kind of like, we don't know, but in general, it's possible.
02:45I thought, why should I spend so much time now, go through so many surgeries and deal
02:50with all these pins?
02:51And I thought, no.
02:52I decided, I said, amputation, let's do it, Dad.
02:54The question, well, as always was there.
02:56The question was, when is the best time to have this surgery?
02:59We decided that we would do it when I was old enough to understand, when I wanted it myself.
03:03Dad said he wouldn't force me into anything to avoid tantrums.
03:07Surgeries are hard, regardless of the type.
03:09I had it done at 17.
03:11It was an experience regardless, but I saw that my mom and relatives were even more worried.
03:17I was like, no, I'm acting calm.
03:19Everything is fine.
03:20I kept reassuring myself all the time.
03:22I recall the surgery day, 7 on Temeridiem, already at the hospital.
03:26The chief doctor enters, saying, it's 9 o'clock, we're going now.
03:29I'm thinking, is it really happening now?
03:31Let's wait a bit.
03:33I was joking while they gave me anesthesia in the operating room.
03:37They brought me in feet first.
03:38I asked why feet first, as it seemed too early for that.
03:43I wake up and, you know, there's phantom pain, and I kind of wake up and realize the surgery
03:46is over.
03:47I say, wait, did you not amputate my leg?
03:50They amputated it.
03:51I see it's gone, but I can still feel it.
03:53That was the strangest thing, despite knowing about phantom pain, I didn't know how it actually
03:56felt.
03:57It was so bizarre.
03:58I say it like this, I can feel it just like this.
04:01Considering that, you know, I don't have hands or legs naturally, I weigh less.
04:06I weighed about 43 before the surgery.
04:09Afterwards, I weighed 37 or 38.
04:12My leg was very skinny, but I started eating more two weeks post-surgery.
04:17I got used to the prosthesis after the amputation in just about two months, maybe.
04:22Well, I walked slowly but confidently.
04:26I recall not wanting to wear the prosthesis at all during the first month.
04:30I was uncomfortable.
04:31I wasn't getting used to it because it was hot.
04:34It was summer.
04:35I was also walking slowly, and that irritated me.
04:38Why do you take off your prosthesis at home?
04:41I don't need it.
04:42I'm used to hopping on one leg my whole life.
04:45It's normal for me, so I don't need it at home.
04:47It's the same as people walking on two legs at home.
04:51Maybe you could get all those cyber arms, metal prosthetics, things like that.
04:55But again, that's a crazy amount of money.
04:59And the question is, do I even need them?
05:01If I can do everything as it is, why would I make my life more complicated?
05:05I was homeschooled from first grade through 11th grade.
05:08I started school when I was eight years old.
05:11I already knew how to write.
05:12I could draw.
05:13I was already used to holding a pen.
05:16In first grade, and actually up until fourth or fifth grade, I had the best handwriting in
05:20the class.
05:21The very best.
05:22They would show everyone, walk around the school with my notebook saying, look, she writes
05:26with two fingers better than you do with yours.
05:29But of course, my mom was strict with me.
05:30I would get smacked on the head all the time.
05:33Well I could have gone to school.
05:35But again, the bicycle, if we're talking about how I got around, winter just doesn't work
05:39out.
05:40A bicycle and winter don't really go together.
05:43So right away it was decided that I would be homeschooled and that was it.
05:47But that doesn't mean I never went to school or never talked to my classmates.
05:50I mean, I went to every event, open lessons, holidays, and sometimes I just came to school.
05:56Honestly, if we're talking specifically about my body, I never had any complexes.
06:02And I did have complexes about other things.
06:04My teeth, I didn't like my cheeks, I didn't like my ears.
06:06I wanted to change those things about myself and my nose.
06:09Those were the kinds of complexes I had.
06:11When it comes to my body, I never had any complexes at all.
06:14Because I understood that it was unchangeable.
06:16Unfortunately there was no way out.
06:19I didn't want to worry about that.
06:20I didn't really even think about it much.
06:23This family shaped me into an open person, free of complexes.
06:28Because basically we are born and spend all our time with our family.
06:32They would always tell me, go hang out with that person, go meet that person.
06:36They took me to various circuses and clubs.
06:38So I was everywhere.
06:40Like it's always obvious where something happened, like scars or birthmarks.
06:44And people always ask, what happened to you?
06:46Was it some kind of accident?
06:47I say, no, it's congenital.
06:49But it's visible.
06:50Like how?
06:51It's actually obvious.
06:52A machinist.
06:54Somewhere it got cut off by a saw or something.
06:57Squidward Krabby.
07:00If we're talking about which reaction from people I like more.
07:04Once while walking with a friend, we encountered a little boy who was around three or four years
07:09old.
07:10Dad, I want that too.
07:12I said, you know, you know, I'm a superhero.
07:14I said, look, I have an iron leg.
07:16And he was like, really?
07:17I said, yes, actually.
07:18Once, while walking and listening to music with headphones, I noticed an elderly woman
07:22passing by.
07:24She studied my face intently before glancing at my hands.
07:27Her expression immediately changed upon noticing my prosthesis.
07:31I was wearing shorts and I'm not embarrassed about it.
07:34I don't care.
07:35So she looks at the prosthesis, starts crossing herself three times, and I'm just walking
07:40and laughing to myself.
07:42How do you eat?
07:43How do you ride?
07:44How do you go to the bathroom?
07:45How do you cut your nails?
07:46How do you braid your hair?
07:48I handle all aspects of my life and household independently, taking care of every daily task
07:53on my own.
07:54Well, I think if I couldn't do something, my parents probably wouldn't have let me go thousands
07:58of kilometers away from home.
08:00Before that, when I moved to Kyiv, I already had experience living on my own.
08:03My dad told me, go ahead if you want to go to Kyiv.
08:05We used to live in a village, but we had an apartment right in Zaporizhjia.
08:09He offered me the option to transfer to another school.
08:12I lived there alone for about half a year, possibly longer.
08:16I already had experience, so they let me go here freely and calmly and told me, go ahead,
08:20study.
08:21Peeling potatoes is the worst.
08:23It takes me so long, but I finally learned the whole system.
08:28I'm quite quick at eating them now, but I still do so rarely because the process is
08:31so tedious and awful for me.
08:33Okay, if I think about what I can't do, I guess I wouldn't be able to sew.
08:36And also, I can't make snowballs.
08:40I've always wondered if I could be friends with someone like that.
08:43I think I could.
08:44But there aren't any people with disabilities in my circle at all.
08:47What about relationships?
08:51It's dead silent, like in a tank.
08:52Well, honestly, it's really hard, to be honest, yes, it's hard.
08:56I can talk to a lot of people, but again, it just doesn't work out.
08:58The further it goes, the harder it is to become friends like that.
09:01Well, of course, the main reason, I think, is that I'm such a beautiful lady.
09:06I'm joking.
09:08But I think the fact that I have a disability is the main reason why my personal life isn't
09:12working out.
09:13Does that scare me?
09:14I'm not too upset about it.
09:15If I become a successful businesswoman in the future, I won't need these relationships
09:19anyway.
09:20So, well, that's just how it is.
09:23In fact, a guy will accept you.
09:25Yes, there were times when I met guys on social media, but I didn't talk about it.
09:30Well, I guess I probably didn't say anything because I wasn't planning to continue anything
09:35further with that person.
09:37You need to warn about things like that because I understand that even I would probably be very
09:40surprised and it would be a shock for me.
09:44Warn people about such things so they have an idea of what's happening.
09:48People advised me to use Instagram and TikTok to go viral quickly, but I said, no, everything
09:53happens in its own time.
09:55TikTok is a social network where users post their short, funny videos.
10:00I started doing live streams, started posting all sorts of videos again, like top five jokes
10:04about my hands and things like that, and everything started to gain momentum.
10:09Well, it's kind of a way to hook the viewer.
10:13People have always found this interesting.
10:15They'll continue to watch and laugh at it, and they'll write both silly comments and
10:19good ones.
10:20There will be flattery, kindness and offers like, let me send you some money and things
10:24like that.
10:25Despite my expectations, people wrote really nice comments saying I was doing great instead
10:29of hating on me.
10:31By the way, when I'm feeling sad, I open TikTok and read the comments.
10:35Then I realized there was no reason to be sad.
10:38The comments that annoy me most are when people write, it's because my mom drank.
10:43Seriously, what's wrong with them?
10:46It's terrible.
10:47These are people.
10:48Don't write things like that.
10:49Being young and living with two fingers and a prosthesis is possible, real, and not as
10:53hard as it might seem from the outside.
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