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00:00As a comedian, going from town to town is your life.
00:04In and out of hotels sounds exciting, but with only working an hour a night,
00:07the other 23 can feel like a sentence.
00:10Even the hot tub gets boring.
00:12So what do you do?
00:14Anything.
00:17I'm Nathan McIntosh and this is Stand Up Down Time.
00:30Hey buddy, what's going on?
00:42I, I, I can't even.
00:45Oh my god.
00:46Hey.
00:47Come on, get it together. Let's go. Let's go out.
00:51I got some.
00:52You want to go out?
00:53Yeah, right.
00:54I got some ideas. We're going to go to a cool shop I heard of.
00:57Come on, let's go. It's going to be fun.
00:59Oh man.
01:00It's going to be sweet. I got some ideas.
01:02We're going to go check out the town. You're going to love it. Promise.
01:05Okay.
01:06Ready? So stoked.
01:08Man, let's do it. Burlington, here we come.
01:10Burlington.
01:11Woo!
01:15This is Courtney Gilmore, super funny comedian originally from Kitchener.
01:18She recently won the Homegrown Competition at Just for Laughs.
01:22I know a few of you can probably tell just by the sound of my voice
01:27that I don't have hands.
01:30It's true.
01:31It gives me away every time. I don't know if you can hear it.
01:34I was born like this. I've been this way my whole life.
01:37And I get a lot of people asking me about it, right?
01:40I was in a cab in Toronto recently.
01:42As soon as I got into this guy's car, he gasped and said,
01:46Are you okay? Like it was fresh.
01:53I was like, why do you think this just happened?
01:55But I'm on my way to milestones for some reason.
01:57Just very low key.
02:01Let's go. It's going to be great.
02:17Huh.
02:18Alright.
02:19So.
02:20This is cool.
02:21This is nice, eh?
02:22Yeah.
02:23What made you think, why did you want to come in here?
02:25Well, I like cupcakes. These are actually vegan cupcakes.
02:28So, you know, I'm always interested in healthy versions of sweet treats.
02:32They've got very elaborate icing flavors and stuff.
02:35Cool.
02:36So, you've got like strawberry cupcakes with real strawberries on them.
02:40Can I say I'm not like, I don't want to be crazy.
02:43Okay.
02:44But I'm not like a big sweets person.
02:46Not a big sweets person.
02:47You got a skinny cookie over there.
02:48I like garnish on a cupcake.
02:50Okay.
02:51I like anything that looks like a wedding topper.
02:53Like a show.
02:54Yeah, yeah.
02:55You like a presentation.
02:56I want a spectacle.
02:57Yes.
02:58You want the Oscars of cupcakes.
03:04I'm happy about the hotel.
03:05I was really just going to sit on that couch all day.
03:07You can't.
03:08You got to get out here.
03:09And this is a...
03:10Didn't you find it hard though sometimes?
03:12You know, you travel a bunch and then you end up in a hotel room and you're like, where
03:16am I going to go?
03:17I've been outside.
03:18I've been to town.
03:19It's the same type of thing.
03:20It's the same type of thing.
03:21I guess, yeah.
03:22Then you kind of find a place like this and you're like, oh, this is cool.
03:23I like to go to hotels and then like spend a little bit of time in the hotel room and then
03:26go out and like find one thing that captures my interest for at least half an hour.
03:31So that I feel that I've left the hotel and don't feel so isolated.
03:35So you always try to do that?
03:36Because sometimes I get stuck.
03:37Yeah, I do always try to do it.
03:38I get stuck in the hotel.
03:39Really?
03:40Yeah.
03:41Like will you stay in the hotel until the show, like a whole day until the show?
03:45I have.
03:46Yeah.
03:47And by the time the show happens, I want to throw myself off a balcony.
03:50Because you just sit...
03:51Yeah, because you're just isolated.
03:52Yeah, you're talking to nobody and then you got to go talk at people.
03:55I have errands to do no matter where I go.
03:59Okay.
04:00In the world, I feel like I have errands to do.
04:02Yeah.
04:03Like I'll just like find things to photocopy.
04:05Like it just makes me feel productive to go.
04:07It doesn't matter if I'm in Ottawa or if I'm in Spain.
04:10I've got to make some faxes.
04:11I love a fax.
04:12You've got to go make some copies.
04:14You've got to get your horse some new shoes.
04:16It makes me, yeah, yeah.
04:17I feel so accomplished when I have just little things to do.
04:20So that's what I do on the road.
04:21Do you ever go...
04:22Oh, like make small town talk?
04:23Yeah.
04:24You know, you get up on stage and you're like, I went to Jerry's pizzeria.
04:28That guy sucks.
04:29Yeah.
04:30You know, what's interesting about that is I would love to do that.
04:33And I've tried doing that and sometimes it works.
04:35But for me, especially in small towns, I have to get to the hand stuff so quick.
04:40Otherwise, people are scared or nervous.
04:42And so it's like, I don't feel like I have the luxury of being like, hey, check out Jimmy's coffee.
04:46You know, like what a weird guy that is.
04:47Yeah.
04:48People are like, no, we need an answer for why you look like this.
04:51Address your hand.
04:52We don't care about Jimmy.
04:53We know Jimmy.
04:54We don't know you.
04:55Have you ever done a show where you didn't mention hands?
04:59I've done shows where I've definitely done a little bit of banter off the top about something else.
05:03Yeah.
05:04And that feels good to be able, because it feels more natural sometimes.
05:06Sure.
05:07Sometimes you want to address something that's happened just before you.
05:09Yeah, yeah.
05:10Like something crazy just happened.
05:11You want to feel like you're able to...
05:12The person behind you didn't have legs for God's sake, you know what I mean?
05:14Yeah.
05:15Check out this guy.
05:17He doesn't have a head.
05:18This guy doesn't have a head.
05:19This is just a torso up here.
05:20Talking from its neck.
05:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:22So yeah, definitely.
05:23But I've never gone, I don't think I've gone a full set without mentioning it.
05:26I don't think I'm at that level yet where I can go full set.
05:29Yeah.
05:30I would like to have the option someday.
05:31You talk about hands.
05:32Yeah.
05:33Just to be like, hey, I know what you're thinking.
05:34Yes.
05:35Well, and you wouldn't put it like that.
05:36Sometimes I just...
05:37I know what you're thinking.
05:38I don't like doing that line.
05:39I don't like doing that line.
05:40I don't like doing that line.
05:41Even as I said it, I'm like, ugh.
05:42Hey guys, I know what you're thinking.
05:43Yeah.
05:44I know.
05:45But do you get a ton of questions about not having hands?
05:48Are people like, what do you do?
05:49Yeah.
05:50Where are your hands?
05:51Have you ever been asked where are your hands?
05:52Absolutely.
05:53Where are your hands?
05:54Like where did you leave your hands?
05:55Did you know that you left your house today without hands?
05:57Yeah.
05:58Sometimes the tone of people's questions is like, they're informing me of something.
06:02Yeah.
06:03Exactly.
06:04And I'm supposed to be surprised.
06:05Which I wish that I reacted more that way.
06:07Yeah.
06:08If we all could just leave our hands at home and you're like, oh my God, I forgot my hands.
06:10Yeah.
06:11Phone, wallet, hands.
06:12Yeah.
06:13And you just walk back in.
06:14So people just ask questions as if like, you don't know.
06:16It's usually, I do have children ask where they are because that's their mentality.
06:19Sure.
06:20It's like, they should be there and now they're not.
06:22Let's say.
06:23Kids, monsters.
06:24My kids are very honest.
06:25They just walk up to you and they're like, why are you ugly?
06:26You're like, you're four.
06:27I'm going to throw you through a window.
06:28Yeah.
06:29Totally.
06:30So there, but, but adults, people just kind of ask as if, you know, what's the weirdest
06:34question you've ever got?
06:35I mean, there are full grown adults who asked to touch my arms.
06:39Like I'm a panda at a zoo.
06:42Like they, like, they're just like in awe and they come up like, can I, like, like,
06:46I don't know if they're expecting my skin is going to be like a lizard or something different.
06:49I don't know.
06:50But they're like, can I touch your arms?
06:5240 year old men.
06:53Men.
06:54Can I touch your arms?
06:55Yeah.
06:56I think it was women.
06:57No, it's men.
06:58It's always men.
06:59It's always men.
07:00Wow.
07:01It's never women.
07:02Women are actually, I think it's mostly, it's predominantly men who ask anything.
07:05Interesting.
07:06About it.
07:07Okay.
07:08Old ladies love to bless me on the street.
07:09Hilarious.
07:10Bless your heart.
07:11I get, I've been very blessed because of a lot of old ladies that I've run into who
07:14just bless your heart.
07:15I've literally been blessed for not having a dad.
07:17I'm serious.
07:18Oh really?
07:19I said, I grew up without a dad and some guy's like, I'll pray for you.
07:21I'm like, what do you mean?
07:22Oh yeah.
07:23Pray for me now?
07:24What's he going to come back?
07:25What the hell are you talking about?
07:26I had a guy in Eglinton station in Toronto tell me that God is going to give me hands
07:32at some ambiguous later date that I wasn't informed of.
07:37Like God sent you out early and he's just like, I'll give her hands.
07:42Let's see how she deals with this.
07:44A lot of people ask if I'm going to like regenerate them back.
07:48Like if I'm going to grow hands back.
07:50Like this is what I stopped evolving.
07:52Like a chameleon.
07:53Like a salamander.
07:54Yeah, a salamander.
07:55Do you, um, you were born without hands, right?
07:58I was born without them.
07:59And my right leg.
08:00Uh, I have a right leg until the knee.
08:02Okay, let's calm down.
08:03It's a lot.
08:04Let's get to one thing at a time here, Courtney.
08:05Sure.
08:06No leg.
08:07No leg.
08:08Part of a leg.
08:09There's some of it's there and I would like to be, I'm very precious about it.
08:13I need to, I've got part of a leg.
08:16Have you met people who lost hands who maybe have a different mentality than you do?
08:21100%.
08:22That is a very distinctive perspective difference.
08:25Yeah, yeah.
08:26Is that people, and I totally understand it because many of them have been through tragedies.
08:29I feel privileged with that, like I feel like I'm just like getting away with just this
08:34positive attitude because this has just been my life, my whole life.
08:37I haven't had any emotional tragedy or like physical accident that happened to me.
08:42Um, so yeah, they have a different perspective.
08:44Sure.
08:45They've been through something.
08:46Um, and uh, you know, they, they get phantom pains.
08:49I don't get phantom pains.
08:50Yeah.
08:51People ask me if I get them.
08:52I'm like, you know, it's the ghost of, uh, the limb you used to have.
08:57I remember meeting you and going, oh wow.
08:59This woman's, this woman's outlook is great.
09:00I think we think that we have to be negative as comedians.
09:03And I think sometimes we just buy into that story and I just don't like it.
09:06It's just, uh, I don't like feeling like the odd one out because I'm going to a show and I feel happy about it.
09:12Yeah.
09:13That's not to, not to negate like, you know, you never want to fake it or like not be real, but you know, you don't want to feel like you're not allowed to be happy.
09:21Yeah.
09:22And that's the thing you got to work on.
09:23You can't just, you can't just sit in a hotel room and be like when it, you know, maybe, maybe if, uh, maybe if the housekeeping comes, I'll be okay.
09:31Yeah, exactly.
09:32Or maybe if, maybe if I really crush this show, I'll be happy.
09:34No, you gotta go do things.
09:35You gotta, you gotta look at cupcakes.
09:37You gotta see.
09:38You gotta go eat cupcakes.
09:39You gotta drink cappuccinos.
09:40Exactly.
09:41How's this by the way?
09:42It's very good.
09:43It's delicious.
09:44How's yours?
09:45You got, uh, an Americano.
09:46Anytime I go into a place and they're like, do you want almond or coconut milk?
09:51First of all, I take a step back and I go, that's great.
09:54And I'll always say coconut over almond.
09:56Oh, do you?
09:57Always.
09:58Yeah, me too.
09:59Love an almond though.
10:00Love almond milk.
10:01I used to, I had a brief almond milk face where it was becoming trendy.
10:04So that was like the new alternative milk, but then they introduced coconut milk and it's no turning back after that.
10:09When almond milk used to go on stage, remember it would like, it would play like a ukulele and it would, it had a real alternative.
10:16Almond milk was the Zooey Deschanel of alternative milk brands.
10:19Yes.
10:20And we all loved it for a while.
10:21Yes.
10:22And then coconut milk came along and it was like, uh,
10:24Hey, I'm Jennifer Lawrence now.
10:25Have you tried this thing in?
10:28I'm going to try this thing.
10:29Okay. Let's get into it.
10:30I've got a real crazy cupcake going on here.
10:32So, I'm going to get all over me.
10:37It needs unwrapping.
10:39So I'm out?
10:40Yeah, sure.
10:41This thing is so good.
10:42I appreciate you asking me to help though, by the way.
10:44Oh really?
10:45A lot of times people will just dig right in there.
10:47Strangers.
10:48Really?
10:49Strangers will dig into my purse, helping me find my bus pass.
10:51Really?
10:52And I'm like, you're in my purse right now and I don't know you.
10:54Yeah.
10:55Do people know that I'm still a human being?
10:57Yeah.
10:58How do you think I've functioned?
10:59How do you think I got here?
11:00Yeah.
11:01It's really crazy.
11:02People would love to know how you got there.
11:03Oh no.
11:04I'm not anyway, but people would love to know, you know, how you did.
11:08There could be an entire show called Courtney getting there.
11:10Courtney, explain yourself.
11:12How do you do this?
11:15Justify your existence.
11:20To give you an example of the kind of life I live, I was late for a party recently because
11:24I put moisturizer on my arms and spent the next 25 minutes trying to open the front door.
11:29Okay.
11:32To be honest, I wish you guys didn't have hands.
11:35That's really, that would make my life easier.
11:38Yes.
11:41The best response is all of you clapping, flaunting the hands in front of me.
11:45Just really, really giving her.
11:48How much do you travel by the way?
11:49Like are you, are you?
11:50A lot more lately.
11:51Definitely this past year I've been on the road a lot more.
11:53Yeah.
11:54And coming up in the next few months, I'm going to be on the road a lot.
11:57How do you deal with it?
11:58Because I sometimes get real, I don't know.
12:00It sucks sometimes getting on and off of planes.
12:03Yeah.
12:04You know, I like driving.
12:05Oh do you?
12:06Yeah.
12:07I kind of do.
12:08Yeah.
12:09Well the thing is like I've only just started doing a lot more consistent road gigs.
12:12Yeah.
12:13So I feel like I'm probably like a very naive baby in the beginners part of the phase being
12:16like I love the road because I'm not 10 years in on the road.
12:19But I like staying at different places.
12:21I like seeing different towns.
12:23I like taking trains and buses and planes and stuff.
12:26So anything feels like a mini adventure to me.
12:28Yeah.
12:29Yeah.
12:30That's fun.
12:31This is, can I tell you Courtney?
12:32This is lovely.
12:33This is exactly what I needed.
12:34I was going to literally sit on that couch.
12:36Yeah.
12:37Where you found me until the show.
12:38You were just going to slump.
12:39Then I was going to go on stage and just go, ugh, what's up Burlington?
12:43It would have been terrible.
12:45So this is great.
12:46You want to head back?
12:47Yeah.
12:48Yeah.
12:49For sure.
12:50I hooked up with another amputee.
12:55Yeah.
12:57It's an honor.
12:58My own kind.
12:59He was missing a hand.
13:02Who am I to judge, you know?
13:05He had a, he also had a fake leg on the same side as me.
13:11I was like, that's adorable.
13:12Like we match.
13:14But I brought him back to my apartment, right?
13:17And things were going well, you know?
13:19Things are getting hot and heavy.
13:21Clothes are coming off.
13:23Limbs were coming off.
13:29We're making out.
13:30Our fake legs are clanking against each other.
13:33I was like, what's happening right now?
13:35Are we becoming a transformer?
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