- 2 months ago
First broadcast 24th January 1998.
After a well known horror writer is shot dead one night at her son-in-law's house, her killer simply disappeared.
Caroline Quentin - Maddy Magellan
Peter Davison - Stephen Claithorne
Pippa Haywood - Lorna Claithorne
Meg Davies - Emma Lazarus
Mark Caven - Tom Terici
Gavan O'Herlihy - Hal Drucker
Christopher Adamson - The Stalker
Alan Davies - Jonathan Creek
Stuart Milligan - Adam Klaus
Martina Laird - Bridget
Frankie Park - Tessa
Jimmi Harkishin - Gary Lobo
Keith Morris - Waiter
Justin Alexis - Nathan
After a well known horror writer is shot dead one night at her son-in-law's house, her killer simply disappeared.
Caroline Quentin - Maddy Magellan
Peter Davison - Stephen Claithorne
Pippa Haywood - Lorna Claithorne
Meg Davies - Emma Lazarus
Mark Caven - Tom Terici
Gavan O'Herlihy - Hal Drucker
Christopher Adamson - The Stalker
Alan Davies - Jonathan Creek
Stuart Milligan - Adam Klaus
Martina Laird - Bridget
Frankie Park - Tessa
Jimmi Harkishin - Gary Lobo
Keith Morris - Waiter
Justin Alexis - Nathan
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00词曲 李宗盛
00:01曲 – 李宗盛
00:02词曲 李宗盛
00:03ORGAN PLAYS
00:33G.L.R.
00:44Yes, hello there, good morning.
00:46It's GLR Breakfast on 94.9 FM with Gideon Co. and Ruth Aubrey.
00:49Coming up, the latest is the idea to fix London's transport nightmares.
00:53Why the most important part of the public health is in the storage room.
00:56And learning to love the French, the capital prepares for a final race of over-eager tourists.
01:00G.L.R.
01:03Oh, smooth!
01:15Don't you dare go back to sleep, you lazy sow!
01:18It's 8 o'clock, now come on!
01:20You've got three seconds before the saucepan lids.
01:27Oh, yes!
01:30Right!
01:31Oh, my God!
01:38PHONE RINGS
01:39God almighty!
01:46PHONE RINGS
01:46Miss McGillan, my name's Stephen Claythorne.
01:54I believe you're a collector of mysteries.
01:56What?
01:58I'm sorry, I've only just this second woken up.
02:01You'll likely get into all sorts of tangles if you play questions and answers,
02:03so, with your permission, I'll just begin at the beginning.
02:07But before you do, if this is some tale about a missing hymn book,
02:10then it's a bit early in the morning.
02:11It's murder, Miss McGillan.
02:13Cold, clinical and calculated.
02:16And it took place last night at my home in Oxfordshire.
02:20The midday papers will be full of it.
02:22What they won't explain, what no-one can explain,
02:25is how the killer evaporated into thin air,
02:28right in front of everyone's eyes.
02:32Some miracles you don't want to believe in.
02:36I'll get some coffee on.
02:40I don't know if you're familiar with the popular novelist Emma Lazarus,
02:45widely referred to in publishing circles as the Queen of Horror.
02:48She wrote all those pukey stories about little towns in Arizona
02:53where everyone gets their flesh ripped off
02:55after the devil has sex with a lawnmower.
02:59My mother-in-law, for my sins.
03:01A lady of rather florid style and ghoulish imagination.
03:05Traits not shared mercifully by her daughter, Lola.
03:09How sweet and insensitive a soulmate is in the world.
03:11I never knew Lorna's father. He died in his thirties.
03:24When her mother remarried,
03:26an American hairstylist named Tom Teresi,
03:29they moved to California.
03:30We barely saw them from one year to the next.
03:33Till one morning a couple of weeks ago,
03:35we found ourselves with three houseguests at the rectory.
03:37Emma, Tom, and this minder character of theirs,
03:42Mr. Drucker.
03:44I won't say we got on like a house on fire.
03:47For the most part, I avoided her company,
03:48which wasn't hard.
03:50Our parish is small,
03:51but the demands it makes on my time are considerable.
03:53Your god is no more a reality
03:55than the tooth fairy we believed in as children.
03:58Excuse me, I have some work to catch up on.
04:00The only gods that exist are ourselves.
04:05We are the gods of our...
04:07Thus my absence last night of all nights,
04:15All Hallows' Eve.
04:17I'd been summoned to the bishops
04:18for a little diocesan pep talk.
04:21Lorna, her mother, and stepfather
04:22were returning home from a costume party and dance
04:25at St. Mepersley Manor about ten miles down the road.
04:29It was just gone midnight.
04:34How's the migraine?
04:35Still zicking and zagging.
04:38Like a rat's chewing on my optic nerve.
04:44I hope your friends weren't offended.
04:46We had to peel off early.
04:49Four hours of dancing skeletons
04:51and I was just about spooked out for that.
04:54What is it?
04:55He's still there.
04:58Can you believe the staying power?
05:05It's not enough we got this leech
05:06and her tail back home.
05:08Follow you halfway around the world?
05:10That's not a fan.
05:11That's a serious piece of brain damage.
05:14Because he sends me love letters hell
05:16that tell me I'm a living goddess.
05:18The wretch is harmless.
05:19What's he going to do?
05:20Serenade me to death?
05:22Oh, come on.
05:24You going to do the honors
05:25before we all turn in?
05:28Tom Thomas.
05:29Come on.
05:30Souvenir for the album.
05:33One more for the halibut.
05:37Oh!
05:37You're welcome.
05:38That's okay.
05:39I've got it.
05:43You sure we check every door and window tonight?
05:46The pit of my gut tells me
05:47something's brewing out there.
05:48All right.
05:50Yay.
05:51All right.
06:05Okay.
06:05All right.
06:08All right.
06:13Now we're here.
06:15Let's go.
06:45Tom?
07:15Bring the car to the door.
07:31Leave the keys in the ignition.
07:36Do it.
07:38Get out and back away.
08:07Get out and back away.
08:37Get out and back away.
08:39Okay.
08:41Put her down.
08:45Put her down.
08:47Get out and back away.
08:57Get out and back away.
09:05The killer was trapped.
09:07It was naturally assumed he'd tried to buy his freedom using Lorna as hostage.
09:11But then, once the door had come down, it all went strangely quiet.
09:17I'm doing a phone.
09:18I'm security here.
09:19There's an armed man inside with a woman who's unconscious.
09:21Are you armed?
09:23The building was surrounded.
09:25There was no other possible way in or out.
09:29There was no other possible way in or out.
09:37After 15 minutes, fearing the worst, they reopened the door to discover to everyone's utter amazement the skeleton had gone.
09:53The skeleton had gone.
10:11I needn't say what effect all this had on me when I got back around one o'clock.
10:17By any definition of hell, this had to be it.
10:21Thank God Lorna was okay.
10:24Beyond that, the scale of the atrocity.
10:29Forgive me.
10:30I've come here a perfect stranger to burden you with my grief.
10:34While on the face of it, the whole thing's insoluble.
10:38Can a body pass through a solid stone wall?
10:42Or are we all losing our minds?
10:45Do me a favour.
10:46I grew out of vanishing skeletons before I was into long trousers.
10:51If you're gonna kill someone on Halloween, you'd think they'd come up with something more original than that.
10:56He's probably not even a real vicar.
10:57He's probably wearing rubber underwear.
11:00Whatever you do, if he asks you to pray...
11:02You don't kneel in front of him with your eyes closed.
11:05Right.
11:06Several intriguing features.
11:08I thought so.
11:10So, on the basis of striking whilst the island's hot,
11:13it's probably not more than an hour's drive from your place.
11:16I'm not at my place.
11:17I'm at Adam's.
11:18We've had a very late night, and I've got a 50-minute TV special to go through,
11:23which is gonna take all day.
11:25So just tell him to bugger off and stop sniffing the nail polish.
11:29Right.
11:31No.
11:33That's great, then. I'm onto it now.
11:35Anything breaks, I'll give you a bell.
11:36I, erm, use him now and again to bounce things off.
11:41Bit of a sad character, actually.
11:44Ideas man to a conjurer.
11:47Okay.
11:51While I'm in the shower, if you fancy a nibble,
11:55be my guest.
11:56Be my guest.
11:57What time did we get back last night?
11:59Last thing I remember, we were in that nightclub,
12:00watching a girl sing selections from Verdi's Nabucco.
12:03While two men from the audience removed her G-string with their teeth.
12:08Thought you were never gonna shake the old slapper off,
12:09the way she was all over you, like a rash the rest of the...
12:10.
12:12.
12:26.
12:34.
12:36.
12:37Don't judge me too harshly, Jonathan.
12:51That was a particularly lethal brand of tequila they were serving in the bar last night.
12:55Hiya!
12:59Guess what? 80-0 on 48-hour work to rule.
13:03Both my flights were grounded.
13:05Means we get our weekend back.
13:08Are you pleased?
13:09I'm salivating into a bucket.
13:11Come on up, treasure.
13:14Three hours in that sweat box at JFK.
13:18No.
13:19To take these tights off my potato peeler.
13:21No, just for two seconds, Jonathan.
13:23No!
13:24Adam?
13:26Where are you?
13:28Don't I get a kiss anymore?
13:30Sweetheart, my angel come to earth.
13:33Who's in there?
13:39Oh, I'm sorry.
13:42I don't think you've met my creative consultant Jonathan Creek and, uh, Bridget?
13:48Who, I think you were saying, had to be leaving very shortly.
13:53Frankly, I preferred this routine when Marcel Marceau did it.
13:59I mean, who is this person?
14:02Don't be fooled by the scatting exterior.
14:03A track record in these matters is formidable.
14:07Oh, well, I...
14:08Ow!
14:09Ow!
14:10I've heard this routine, but Marcel Marceau did it.
14:13Who is this person?
14:16Don't be fooled by the scatting exterior.
14:19A track record in these matters is formidable.
14:21Oh, Weston!
14:29Ow!
14:38No.
14:40Oh!
14:45Lucky there was no paint left in them, at any rate.
14:50So, if I could just run back over a couple of things.
14:56Mr. Teresi, after the murderer had come in and closed the door,
15:03that had been, what, about 30 seconds before anyone else went round the back of the building?
15:07So that if, by any trickery, he'd managed to get out any other way...
15:12He would have set off the sensor lights at the side of the house, which didn't come on until one of the police officers ran in front of them.
15:19Oh, okay.
15:21Mrs. Claythorne, I know how painful this is, but...
15:27You definitely remember nothing after you blacked out on the landing.
15:31Nothing that happened in this garage.
15:34No sounds or images.
15:37Smells?
15:38All I remember was when I found myself on the plane.
15:46And I was so frightened.
15:48I was so frightened.
15:49I was so frightened.
15:50I was so frightened.
15:51I was so frightened.
15:52But when he grabbed you up in the bedroom, was there anything about this person, about his body or voice?
16:05He's so frightened.
16:07He's so frightened.
16:08I was so frightened.
16:09Every time.
16:10I couldn't do it.
16:12He just got it.
16:14And, oh, I'm like...
16:17That's...
16:21...been very helpful.
16:23I'm really sorry, thanks.
16:25This place holds too many horrors.
16:29many horrors. Come on. Come on. I'll go and put the kettle on if you want to join us once
16:41you've completed your investigations.
16:59Where the police dog peed on the floor.
17:18They didn't find anything either.
17:22Miss McGillan, right?
17:26Hal Drucker, personal security at Amla Lazarus for 13 years.
17:30Well, I kind of flunked it last night, didn't I?
17:32Well, I don't suppose anyone's to blame for what...
17:34Listen, I knew the guy was wacko when I told her.
17:36Guy? Mr Drucker?
17:38It started about a year ago with a mushy fan mail.
17:41Three or four a week. Never give a name, just signed himself your devoted disciple always.
17:46Pretty soon it's getting unhealthy.
17:48The guy's staking out her home.
17:50Just watching and staring.
17:51I try to get near him and he's gone, just like a jackrabbit.
17:55So next thing, he shows up here.
17:57England.
17:59I mean, come on, this is sick.
18:00You don't want to know what this individual's capable of.
18:04Well, last night we found out.
18:06And you want my honest opinion of what turns a man's brain like that?
18:09If we're talking who's to blame for the murder of Amla Lazarus?
18:12Sick breeds sick, Miss McGillan.
18:20And the sooner we face up to that, the sooner we can pull our society out of the sewer.
18:25So, I don't know, the frame's slightly warped up the top here.
18:33I turned away to go and get a hammer, and that's when he must have come in and felt this sudden raw pain like he'd sliced into a nerve or something.
18:42This sounds familiar.
18:44Knocked me out cold.
18:45I didn't even hear the gunshot.
18:46There's no sign of anything in the background, but then, um, it's not always obvious.
18:55I tell you what, I wouldn't mind hanging on to these if that's okay.
18:58No, it's not okay.
18:59The last pictures of my mother alive, they don't leave this house.
19:02To my dying day, I'll be haunted by a feeling of irresponsibility.
19:14As if somehow I should have known.
19:16I should have been there to do something.
19:23He's a happy bunny.
19:25Oh, it's, uh, Gary Lobo.
19:27He was helping my wife with her new book.
19:29I, um, I thought she always wrote alone.
19:34It wasn't a novel this time.
19:36She was working on her autobiography.
19:38Or, more accurately, autobiographies.
19:42So again?
19:44An account of her many lives.
19:46From high priestess of the Aztec Empire,
19:50through her other existences,
19:52as a courtesan to King Charles I,
19:55a Russian countess,
19:56and a Zulu at Brook's Drift.
19:58Right up to present day.
20:01So what are you telling me?
20:02Uh, Emma Lazarus believed in reincarnation?
20:06A field in which Mr Lobo
20:08claimed to have specialist knowledge.
20:12Through a process of hypnoanalysis,
20:15flotation therapy,
20:17and sensory deprivation,
20:19I will penetrate the shell of your conscious mind
20:21to unlock the soul
20:23and all its secrets
20:25that reside within.
20:30We all look for ways
20:31to explain the unexplainable.
20:34Emma's life,
20:35ideology hardly met with my approval,
20:37but
20:37wherever she is now,
20:39let's trust she's at peace.
20:43Definitely.
20:43Well, I think I have
20:45everything I need.
20:49Tell you what I'm going to do.
20:51I'll run this past my associate
20:53and be in touch with you
20:56first thing tomorrow morning.
20:58I'll see myself out.
21:02He steps inside the garage
21:03and drops her on the floor.
21:04He closes the door.
21:06They open the door.
21:07Where the hell's he gone?
21:09Certainly not through
21:10nine inches of Cotswold stone
21:11or a concrete floor.
21:13Plus, you've got your sensor lights
21:15all the way round,
21:16so if you had got out,
21:17you'd have triggered them off.
21:19Let me know if I'm boring you, by the way.
21:22You're not boring me.
21:24Jonathan,
21:24we're looking at a scenario here
21:26for which there is absolutely
21:27no conceivable explanation.
21:30There's always an explanation.
21:32You've just got to think round corners.
21:34Don't only see what you're meant to see.
21:36What do you see when you watch this trick?
21:39A young girl selected at random
21:41from the audience,
21:43invited to have a go on the trampoline.
21:46She starts bouncing up and down.
21:49Higher and higher.
21:53Eventually, explodes in a puff of smoke.
21:58Where'd she go?
22:01First of all,
22:02she's not a member of the audience.
22:03She's an Armenian gymnast.
22:04Oh, great.
22:05So that's a cheat for a start.
22:06Of course it is.
22:07The whole thing's a cheat.
22:09After she's been up and down a few times,
22:11another tab comes in,
22:12downstage.
22:14Black velvet to match the backdrop
22:15so you can't see it's there.
22:17Tiny smoke charge along the bottom
22:19set off to mask her.
22:20She disappears behind the drape.
22:22She grabs hold of a bar
22:23and hangs on
22:25as the bar
22:27and the tab
22:29are flown back up.
22:33Adam Klaus gets a standing ovation.
22:37What's this?
22:38The cabinet
22:39where she miraculously reappears?
22:41No.
22:42That's my tea.
22:45Tea?
22:46Who eats Weetabix for their tea?
22:49Very effective.
22:50You should try it.
22:52Oh, yes.
22:54I'll bet you're
22:54a little Mr. Regular,
22:56aren't you?
22:58Like clockwork with you,
23:00is it?
23:01Every morning
23:02on the dot
23:02at seven.
23:03Between seven
23:04and seven-thirty?
23:06Oh, I'll bet
23:06you do too.
23:08Why doesn't that surprise me
23:09for a single second?
23:11Look,
23:11if you've got a problem
23:11in that department,
23:12there's no reason
23:12to take it out on me.
23:13Who's got a problem?
23:15Happens when it happens.
23:16Don't have to set my watch
23:17by it.
23:19You've got no worries, then.
23:22None whatsoever.
23:27So when this photo
23:28was taken,
23:28it's definitely
23:29her husband,
23:30Terese,
23:30inside the costume.
23:32Shortly before,
23:33the killer got in
23:34through the French windows
23:34and carotid him
23:35from behind
23:36to switch places.
23:38Hmm.
23:39And I didn't come here
23:40for electron bowel frequency,
23:42as it happens.
23:44But the paint tins
23:45were empty.
23:47What?
23:49The paint tins
23:50that you knocked
23:51off that shelf
23:51were all virtually empty,
23:53you said.
23:55So,
23:56you'll be in the theatre
23:56all day tomorrow,
23:58in case I want to drop by
23:59after I've paid
24:00this Mr. Lobo
24:01a visit.
24:03Right.
24:05And don't fall
24:06for any of this
24:06phony sales talk.
24:08What's that supposed
24:09to mean?
24:10Oh, come on.
24:11It's prime girly material,
24:13isn't it?
24:13Reincarnation.
24:15It falls into the same
24:16category of persuasive
24:17bollocks as astrology.
24:19He conned Emma Lazarus
24:20into believing it.
24:21Don't let him con you.
24:22Oh, thanks ever so much.
24:25I think I'd swallow
24:26all that garbage
24:28about delving back
24:29into past lives.
24:31Credit me with a bit
24:32of common sense.
24:34As your body
24:35drifts deeper,
24:37let yourself
24:38go deeper
24:39into the very nucleus
24:42of your being.
24:44We're going to increase
24:45the temperatures now.
24:55The waters will dissolve
24:57into a void
24:58of darkness.
25:00As slowly
25:01you regress,
25:03back to the soft,
25:05warm,
25:07moistness
25:08of the womb.
25:10Beyond
25:11the moment
25:11of birth.
25:17I don't think
25:18I'll be spending
25:18the morning
25:19in a tank
25:19of boiling
25:20or ink again
25:20in a hurry.
25:21I feel like
25:21a poached octopus.
25:24Personally,
25:25I found her novels
25:26disturbing yet
25:27compelling
25:28when she writes,
25:29for example,
25:29of a mutant fetus
25:31that strangles
25:32young girl
25:32with its umbilical cord.
25:34The metaphor
25:35is, uh,
25:36obvious.
25:40You have to mind
25:41the vilest
25:42seams of obscenity
25:43to get to the
25:44core of the
25:44human condition.
25:48And making
25:49wads of money,
25:50selling loads
25:51of tacky books
25:52didn't really
25:52come into it.
25:55Yeah.
25:55What the hell
26:00is this?
26:01Your order,
26:02madam,
26:02the poached
26:03octopus.
26:04Poached
26:04octopus?
26:05Have you gone
26:06stark staring
26:07bonkers?
26:08If there's been a
26:09mistake,
26:09my sincerest
26:10apologies.
26:10It's no problem.
26:11I'll have it returned
26:12and you can place
26:12another order.
26:12No,
26:13all right.
26:15Go on,
26:16then.
26:16Might as well
26:17leave it
26:18now that it's
26:18here,
26:18I suppose.
26:21So,
26:22how long
26:23had you known
26:24Emma Lazarus?
26:2418 months?
26:26Popping back and
26:27forth to her
26:27place in the
26:28States.
26:29And the last
26:30time you saw
26:31her here
26:31was when?
26:33Monday
26:33afternoon.
26:34She came by
26:35to discuss
26:35the book.
26:36We talked
26:36about life,
26:37death,
26:38mainly death.
26:39She was
26:41leaving,
26:42I said
26:42I'd see
26:43her again
26:43in a week's
26:44time.
26:44She just
26:45turned,
26:46smiled a
26:47rather weak
26:48smile,
26:49but said
26:50nothing.
26:55Now,
26:55you're going
26:55to think
26:55it's really
26:56odd
26:57that I say
26:58this.
26:59Say what?
27:01I thought
27:01the weirdest
27:02feeling.
27:05She didn't
27:05expect to be
27:06alive
27:07in a week's
27:07time.
27:09spooky stuff.
27:15So you
27:15reckon she
27:16knew her
27:16days were
27:17numbered?
27:18And I
27:18reckon she
27:19knew who
27:19it was
27:20that was
27:20planning to
27:21kill her.
27:22Police are
27:23scouring the
27:23country for
27:24this stalker
27:25that kept
27:25following her
27:26around,
27:26but I don't
27:28know,
27:29it's a bit
27:29too glaringly
27:30obvious for
27:30my money.
27:32None of
27:33which gets
27:33us any
27:34further with
27:34the real
27:35question.
27:36How did
27:37Mr.
27:37Skeleton
27:37suit disappear
27:38from that
27:39garage?
27:40Oh,
27:41that's the
27:41easy bit.
27:42Oh,
27:43give me
27:43a break.
27:45You
27:45can't
27:45possibly
27:46have
27:46worked
27:46that
27:46out,
27:47and you
27:47haven't
27:47even
27:47been
27:47there.
27:48If
27:49everything
27:49you've
27:49told me
27:50is
27:50correct,
27:50there's
27:50only
27:50one
27:50way
27:51it
27:51could
27:51have
27:51happened.
27:53The
27:53empty
27:53paint
27:54tins.
27:55Precisely.
27:56And I
27:57think you
27:57said
27:57something
27:57about
27:58a
27:58hacksaw.
27:58right?
28:00Right.
28:01So?
28:04Well,
28:05to get
28:06to the
28:07root of
28:07this
28:07problem,
28:08you've
28:09got to
28:09turn your
28:09entire
28:10concept of
28:10what
28:11happened
28:11on its
28:11head.
28:12Jonathan?
28:15Hi,
28:15how are
28:16you?
28:17Oh,
28:17hi.
28:19Um,
28:20Bridget.
28:21Bridget,
28:21that's
28:22right.
28:23You
28:24don't
28:24remember,
28:24do you?
28:25You
28:26and me
28:26in the
28:26bath
28:26together
28:27yesterday
28:27morning?
28:29Of
28:29course.
28:31Absolutely.
28:32How you
28:32doing?
28:33You
28:33all right?
28:34Is
28:35Adam
28:35in his
28:35dressing
28:35room?
28:36Through
28:37that
28:37door.
28:37Just
28:37follow
28:38the
28:38signs.
28:40Story
28:41and a
28:41half
28:42there.
28:42She's
28:43got her
28:43claws
28:43into
28:44Adam,
28:44but he
28:44doesn't
28:45want to
28:45know
28:45because...
28:53You
28:54want a
28:54word
28:54for
28:54it?
28:55Try
28:55extortion.
28:56She
28:56stitched
28:57me
28:57up,
28:57Jonathan.
28:58You
28:58give
28:59someone
28:59a
28:59bed
28:59for
28:59the
28:59night
29:00out
29:00of
29:00the
29:00kindness
29:00of
29:01your
29:01heart.
29:02Next
29:02thing,
29:02she's
29:02having
29:03you
29:03for
29:03breakfast.
29:04When
29:05you
29:05say
29:05extortion,
29:06she
29:06doesn't
29:07want
29:07money.
29:07Correct,
29:08Jonathan,
29:08she
29:09does
29:09not
29:09want
29:09money.
29:10It's
29:11far
29:11more
29:11blood
29:11curdling
29:12than
29:12that.
29:13She
29:13wants
29:13to
29:14sing
29:14in
29:15my
29:15show.
29:16Her
29:16own
29:16spot,
29:1715
29:17minutes
29:17every
29:18night,
29:18operatic
29:19arias.
29:21I'm
29:21not
29:22sure I
29:22understand
29:23what
29:23you're
29:23saying.
29:24Well,
29:24understand
29:24this,
29:25Jonathan.
29:26A nightclub
29:26dancer with
29:27less than
29:27zero talent
29:28as a
29:28vocalist
29:28wants me
29:29to
29:29showcase
29:29her
29:30work
29:30on our
29:30forthcoming
29:30tour.
29:32She's
29:32going to
29:32the
29:32papers
29:33with
29:33details
29:33of our
29:34little
29:34one-night
29:34stand
29:34together.
29:36In the
29:37absence of
29:37photographic
29:38evidence,
29:39she's
29:39proposing
29:39to give
29:40them
29:40drawings.
29:45You're
29:45not
29:46serious.
29:49Oh,
29:50I have
29:51to say,
29:51she's
29:51caught
29:52a certain
29:52essence
29:52of you
29:53here.
29:56What are
29:56you going
29:56to do?
29:57Pay her
29:58off.
29:58That's all
29:59we can
29:59do.
30:00She'll have
30:00a price.
30:00Just, uh,
30:01don't bid
30:02too high
30:02too soon.
30:03Oh, I
30:04see.
30:05It's down
30:05to me to
30:06clear up
30:06this mess,
30:07is it?
30:07A simple
30:08dematerialization,
30:09Jonathan.
30:10I want
30:11her out
30:12of my
30:12life.
30:16Five
30:17thousand pounds,
30:18Bridget.
30:19Are you
30:19deaf or
30:20something?
30:20Six
30:21thousand.
30:22I'm not
30:22interested.
30:24Nathan, will
30:24you leave
30:25that and
30:25do your
30:26homework?
30:28He loves
30:29anything with
30:29revolving
30:30blades.
30:31I'm
30:31authorized to
30:32go up to
30:32ten thousand
30:33pounds.
30:34I know,
30:35Adam, if
30:35you're pushing
30:36too far,
30:36he'll just
30:37call you
30:37bluff.
30:38You don't
30:38get it, do
30:39you?
30:39I don't
30:40want money.
30:42I want
30:42a chance
30:43to get out
30:45of the gutter,
30:47to perform
30:48the music
30:48that I
30:49love.
30:55Where have
30:55those shoes
30:56gone?
30:56I know I
30:56took them
30:57off in here
30:57last night.
30:57Where have
30:58they
30:58disappeared
30:58to?
31:01Shoes?
31:03That's
31:03absolutely
31:04right.
31:04Where did
31:05they go
31:05to?
31:05What?
31:06Nathan,
31:07will you
31:07come away
31:08from that?
31:08BIRDS CHIRP
31:38Let's go.
32:08Yes, I'm afraid I've rather lost the plot on this now.
32:20Who breaks open a coffin in the middle of the night to remove the head of a dead body?
32:26The service we'll go ahead with tomorrow as planned.
32:28The funeral will clearly now have to wait.
32:38You say we just missed your wife, Mr. Claythorne?
32:54I'm afraid. She goes visiting parishioners on a Tuesday afternoon.
32:58Hopefully get her mind off events here.
33:00I think you'll find her at Mr. Snetterton still.
33:02Well, old chap's 91 and just out of hospital.
33:06Mr. Snetterton.
33:07Yes, you see the little bungler that backs under the foot of our garden?
33:10Mrs. Claythorne, I'm terribly sorry.
33:40If it's inconvenient to talk to you here.
33:42No, no. Do come in.
33:47I hope you're not disturbing Mr. Snetterton.
33:50Only there were a couple of points Jonathan and I wanted to go.
33:53You won't disturb Mr. Snetterton, I'm afraid.
33:55He passed away just a few minutes ago.
33:58Oh, dear.
34:03He was over 90.
34:05His heart had been gradually running out of steam.
34:09And he'd only this morning come out of hospital, didn't your husband say?
34:12Ironically, yes.
34:13For some other minor operation, they just kept him in overnight.
34:17Having a wart removed, it says here.
34:19It's just, before he died, there was something he said about the other night when...
34:27About half past 12, he heard a noise outside the window.
34:33He looked out and saw a skeleton climbing over the back fence into his garden.
34:40He said it ran out onto the road and then away down towards the river.
34:50So, I wonder when you actually figured the whole thing out.
34:55While you were in the bath?
34:57Oh, no.
34:58You'd have had other things on your mind then.
35:01On the toilet?
35:02Seems to be quite a productive place for you.
35:05No, I know.
35:06You told me.
35:08It was all Adam's mad idea.
35:10And you didn't enjoy being squashed up against her naked body one little bit.
35:14What a man would?
35:16The Weetabix didn't work then.
35:19I beg your pardon.
35:22How many days is it now?
35:24Three or four?
35:26Just pour the tea.
35:34Anyway.
35:35Look.
35:35Come on.
35:36I've admitted defeat.
35:37Let's get on with it.
35:39The bit you enjoy treating me like a moron.
35:41No.
35:43The bit where you enjoy making me feel like I'm treating you like a moron.
35:47You're perfectly capable of reasoning it out for yourself.
35:51I need to stop taking things at face value.
35:56What have we got?
35:58Someone puts on a skeleton costume, goes upstairs and shoots Emma Lazarus.
36:02Her daughter, Lorna, appears, is grabbed by the killer and knocked unconscious on the landing.
36:07All this is verified by our bodyguard, Mr Drucker.
36:11Drucker goes to get the car out and he and Teresi watch as the skeleton carries Lorna into the garage and closes the door.
36:17Police arrive and within seconds the garage is surrounded.
36:20A solid, stone-walled garage.
36:23No way could anyone possibly get out.
36:25What's our first conclusion?
36:27That he didn't get out.
36:31So when they opened the garage door, the skeleton...
36:34Must have still been in there.
36:36Good.
36:37But it wasn't in there.
36:38Where can it go?
36:40In a completely empty room with absolutely no hiding place of any kind.
36:43No hiding place except...
36:47The paint tins.
36:47Yeah, I'm sorry, Jonathan.
36:50What level of surrealism are we operating on here?
36:54You see, this is where you and everyone else give up.
36:57You're making the big mistake of sticking to what's likely instead of what's logical.
37:01So how in God's name do you fit a body into a load of paint tins?
37:04Short of chopping it up into bits, I think it's safe to...
37:06What?
37:10What are you telling me now?
37:12How many people walked into that garage?
37:14Two.
37:15Walked into that garage.
37:19One.
37:20With one over his shoulder.
37:22And how much of the one over his shoulder did anyone see?
37:26A body in a long black witch's dress?
37:29A white waist-length wig hanging down so it completely covered her head?
37:33But we know it was Lorna.
37:35Because she was in there when they opened the door.
37:38You are jesting.
37:41She was the skeleton.
37:42And what are you saying?
37:44The body was some sort of dummy.
37:47To pull off a trick this good,
37:50you'd have to go to a hell of a lot of trouble.
37:54Lorna Claythorne and the killer had to be in on it together.
37:58When she made a break for it and he knocked her out,
38:02all the carefully choreographed fake,
38:04she wasn't unconscious at all.
38:05Bring the car to the door.
38:07Leave the keys in the ignition.
38:11Do it.
38:12And when the key witness, Mr Drucker,
38:14was ordered to go out and get the car,
38:17that's when they pulled the switch.
38:18A little electronic mouthpiece distorts the voice
38:30so much it could be anyone,
38:31so that when the skeleton appears outside the front door,
38:34it's now Lorna inside.
38:36And what we thought was Lorna's body
38:37is just a foam rubber shape
38:39with her dress and shoes and wig on.
38:41Once the door's closed, the costume comes off.
38:51She puts her own gear back on.
38:53Now she's got a foam rubber body
38:55and a skeleton suit to dispose of.
38:57Hacksaw's nice and handy.
38:59She cuts it all up into bits.
39:03Hires my way out of sight.
39:06Figuring correctly
39:07that people are hardly going to open the paint tin
39:09to look for a murderer.
39:13Next morning, no-one's about.
39:15The evidence is removed and disposed of,
39:18leaving nothing behind but a few rubber crumbs.
39:22They were in it together?
39:24Lorna, and who?
39:26That's a silly detail, but...
39:29I don't know, you actually examine it.
39:30A person comes in from outside in the rain,
39:33knocks out Emma Lazarus's husband when his back is turned,
39:36puts on his skeleton costume.
39:38I mean, all right, he could have put it on over his own clothes,
39:40but what about his shoes?
39:41The costume's already got a pair of boots built into it.
39:45You couldn't get them on over your own shoes.
39:46You'd have to take them off first.
39:47So where did they go?
39:49I still can't credit it.
39:51Well, she manufactured all those tears,
39:52all that grief.
39:53How do people do that?
39:55She certainly took me in.
39:56Next question, how the hell do you nail her?
40:02She's obviously a very clever cookie.
40:06Maybe.
40:08Maybe not as clever as we think.
40:10Meaning what?
40:12That story she spun us this afternoon.
40:15The bloke looking out of his window,
40:17seeing the killer run away through his back garden.
40:19Obviously complete gobshite to keep us off the scent.
40:22The old guy just popped it.
40:24She can make him say whatever she like.
40:26I've only got her word for it.
40:29Except, of course...
40:32What?
40:33I don't know.
40:34It might be worth you giving that hospital a ring in the morning.
40:38Have a word with the doctor who removed his wart.
40:41Well, she certainly sorted out my problem last night.
41:01Talk about putting Weetabix out of business.
41:03What about the hospital?
41:05Did you get any joy of Mr Snetterton's wart?
41:07Great.
41:10Which is just as we thought.
41:13Now, are you sitting down?
41:16I've been taking this thing apart all night,
41:18trying to put it back together,
41:18and finally it won't go.
41:21And I think...
41:22I finally worked out why.
41:28Very moving.
41:31Big shame about memorial services, I suppose.
41:33The deceased can't be there to hear it.
41:35To hear just how much she was adored by all her family and friends.
41:40You've intimated you've made some sort of progress.
41:43What exactly did you mean?
41:44Yes, if...
41:45If you could go somewhere else for talk,
41:47that turns into a national press briefing.
41:52If you've got anything stronger than communion wine in there,
41:56have it standing by.
41:58I'm sorry, Mrs Claythorne, we know.
42:01We know you and the killer planned it together.
42:04But it was you in that costume, coming out of the house,
42:08and the body was just a lump of foam that you cut up and hid away.
42:12I beg your pardon?
42:13What kind of preposterous accusation?
42:15It's not easy listening, Mr Claythorne, I know.
42:18But we do have evidence that your wife has been lying to us.
42:23The old gentleman you visited yesterday, Mr Snetterton,
42:26you said that before he died,
42:29he talked about a figure in a skeleton suit
42:31running away through his garden on the night of the murder.
42:33I suppose you're going to say I invented that now.
42:37You knew that Mr Snetterton had been to hospital the day before
42:40to have a wart removed.
42:41I wonder if you knew which part of his anatomy that wart was on.
42:48A glance at the letter on the hall table
42:50might have given you a clue.
42:55It was on his vocal cords, Mrs Claythorne.
43:00And according to the specialist I spoke to this morning,
43:03there's no way he could have got his voice back
43:06to be able to talk to you
43:08less than 24 hours after laser treatment.
43:11He'd already passed away before I got there.
43:23I suppose when I saw you coming up the path,
43:26I just thought maybe I could...
43:30Oh, God, forgive me.
43:32Forgive you both, Mrs Claythorne.
43:35You and your stepfather.
43:41Tell me, this is some baseless fabrication.
43:52No one came through those windows.
43:55No one knocked you out.
43:56No one else put on your costume.
43:59Because it was you that went upstairs,
44:02shot your wife,
44:02and staged this elaborate piece of theatre
44:05with your stepdaughter.
44:09Of course, the idea was for, um...
44:11Lorna to drive away in the car.
44:15So she'd eventually be found on her own in the back.
44:17When that all went wrong, we...
44:22You had to improvise.
44:25The problem with the garage was
44:26it left us with an impossible vanishing act
44:29which had never been part of the plan.
44:31In God's name, Lorna,
44:33how could the two of you conceive anything so monstrous?
44:36Yes, I suspect the answer to that is they didn't.
44:39A complex and grisly scenario like this,
44:42spawned by the demonic brains of a vicar's wife
44:44and a part-time hairdresser.
44:47I'd say this has got more in common
44:48with that little bedtime story I was reading last night.
44:51In short, this entire nasty crime
44:53has the classic stamp of Emma Lazarus all over it.
44:57And if we're right about that,
45:01there's only one fairly dramatic interpretation
45:04to be placed on what happened.
45:06Which is where we get into a real ethical nightmare,
45:09isn't it, Mr. Teresi,
45:09when we talk about euthanasia.
45:14She had no fear of death.
45:15It was just a stepping stone to another existence.
45:18And Gary Lobo was convinced she'd seen it coming.
45:22I wonder why.
45:23No one but Lorna and I knew
45:27just how ill she was.
45:33How many months it would be.
45:35How much longer she could go on
45:37passing off the bad migraines.
45:42A long, excruciating exit
45:44wasn't Emma's style.
45:49She'd lived her life in technicolor.
45:53How could her death be anything less than
45:57gloriously,
45:59tastelessly gothic?
46:00Of course, there were considerable benefits to
46:22dressing it all up as a murder.
46:24Life insurance and the advance on her next three novels.
46:29No, Miss Magellan.
46:32I can't look back with any pride on what we did.
46:36To say that every last detail was her invention,
46:38that she wore down our objections
46:41with the force of her titanic personality,
46:45is no defense at all.
46:47I simply thank God
46:50that her suffering's over.
46:55Well, pick the ethical bones out of that one.
47:00I'm sorry, my spiritual equanimity
47:01seems to have deserted me all of a sudden.
47:05For some unfathomable reason.
47:06Oh, Stephen.
47:09I don't know.
47:12Help me.
47:18May I respectfully ask a question?
47:21To what possible end
47:23was the atrocity of the night before last
47:24committed?
47:26And by whom?
47:26What do we think?
47:29A final, perverse act of love
47:32by someone who couldn't bear
47:35never to set eyes on her again.
47:37You were the one who said it, Mr Drucker.
47:40Sick breeds sick.
47:45Excuse me, sir.
47:46Can I just take your luggage for take off?
47:49Well, your luggage.
47:53Can you just put it in here, sir?
48:17Never mind your next book, Madeleine.
48:19I can smell movie rights with this one.
48:21And if you're looking for names with muscle
48:22in the motion picture industry,
48:23I can put you in touch with Hollywood's finest.
48:25Yes, I think I've had enough
48:26of Californian culture for a bit.
48:28Thanks all the same.
48:29Oh, you arrogant little witch.
48:34Not here.
48:35She can't do this to me.
48:37Jonathan.
48:39I went as high as you said
48:40and then doubled it.
48:41She won't be bought, Adam.
48:43There's no other way
48:44you're going to have to put her in the show.
48:46She'll kill me.
48:47Either way, I'm dead.
48:48One second.
48:51One second.
48:51What did you say?
49:21Just that she'd been used, that all men are bastards, that it would do her singing career
49:26no good at all to be associated with such an odiously shallow slimeball, that she'd
49:32be better off screwing you for every penny she could get, and the cheque would be in the
49:36post.
49:39Do you know what I love about her, Jonathan?
49:45She's such a terrific liar.
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