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Hollyoaks Does Come Dine With Me (2025) Season 1 Episode 1
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FunTranscript
00:00On today's show...
00:03Oh, no!
00:06A chilli challenge.
00:09Oh, my God, you've gone bright red.
00:12I was dying.
00:13A poultry put-down.
00:15To the most common bird.
00:16Chicken!
00:17Yay!
00:18And you are a common bird.
00:20And a clumsy canoodle.
00:22Trying to do a kissing scene with him for the first time.
00:25Misjudging the height completely and absolutely smacking everything.
00:28Straighten up, wasn't it?
00:29Quite a lot of headbutting.
00:30A few bloody noses.
00:31As a throng of thespians thrash it out for a £1,000 cash prize for charity.
00:36Who's going to be in a bit of trouble tonight praying for you, Charlie?
00:47This week we're celebrating one of the nation's most loved soaps.
00:50Happy 30th anniversary, Corrie!
00:53I'm joking.
00:54Hollyoaks!
00:55Over the years they've had 45 births, 86 marriages and an incredible 257 deaths.
01:02Whoa!
01:03There's five of them.
01:05You ready, Mojito?
01:06You be Claire and I'll be Myra.
01:09But someone who refuses to be taken out, and boy they've tried, is veteran Hollyoaker Nicole Barberlane.
01:16Is there anything I can get you?
01:17A.k.a. Myra McQueen, she's kicking off the competition.
01:21Here you go.
01:22There's so many storylines that I have played and had the pleasure of.
01:26One of them was being kidnapped, fake death, I've been shot.
01:31But I had a bulletproof vest.
01:35Let's hope it doubled as a life belt.
01:38And obviously there's a terrible crabs storyline, but we won't go into that.
01:42Probably for the best.
01:43So what are you expecting from your fellow diners?
01:46Hollyoaks, yeah, we're all friends, but not this week.
01:50This week is competition, and that is where I am mean.
01:56Crikey.
01:58And tonight the Queen of Mean has a theme.
02:01Northern Tropical Paradise.
02:04Why Northern Tropical Paradise?
02:07Because we're up north.
02:09Believe me, it is a paradise.
02:11Isn't that right, Dave?
02:12Sorry, Dave?
02:14Oh, you're of a half.
02:17It's like we're in the Amazon.
02:18Thanks, Dave.
02:20If someone criticises the food tonight, I will punish Dave.
02:24You happy with that fella?
02:25OK.
02:26Seems fine with it.
02:27Nicole's Terrifically Tropical Time kicks off with the starter.
02:31Paradise Upstream Catch.
02:34It sounds like fish.
02:35I hope it's not got an eye staring at me.
02:38And eyeing up the competition is our second Hollyoaker,
02:41Izzy Smith, who plays Frankie Osborne.
02:44Are you serious?
02:45There's a lot of tears, there's been a lot of trauma,
02:47a lot of hard-hitting storylines.
02:49But, yeah, she's a survivor, she's not a victim, and she's amazing.
02:54Yes, her wife, I did!
02:56I'm most nervous about my food being raw, everyone getting ill,
03:00and then the night ending in A&E.
03:02Sounds like a Hollyoaks storyline.
03:03My starter is Paradise Upstream Catch, so I hope they work out that means fish,
03:09and it's upstream swimmer, so it's salmon, and the Paradise is mango.
03:15Whoever's doing this backs themselves.
03:17If they're going to send me to Paradise for a bit of fish, they've got to be good.
03:21Say all right, geezer, to Hollyoaks bad boy Charlie Wernham, otherwise known as Robbie from the Roscoe Clan.
03:27Robbie was always getting into fights and having a lot of scrapes, normally with his brothers,
03:31and, yeah, always hooking up with girls that he probably shouldn't.
03:34But it wasn't his fault, he just falls in love easy.
03:36See you later. Bye.
03:37After about five and a half years in total, Robbie has been killed.
03:41He was murdered by the character Jez.
03:44I think I could win. As long as everybody else fails, I could win.
03:49Yeah, that's usually how it works.
03:52Nicole starts by chopping and artistically arranging her mangoes.
03:56This is looking like a fish, I think, now, with a little fin at the top.
04:00Do you think that looks like a fish?
04:02Kind of.
04:03God, I hope it's not salmon.
04:05I don't like salmon. I ate it too much as a kid. That's my mum's thought of that.
04:10Forced to join our stellar line-up is Anya Lawrence.
04:13My character is Vicky Grant. Absolute nightmare.
04:17She's a liability. She makes the most questionable decisions.
04:22She scares me. Like, honestly, if we were in a fight, then she would win.
04:26And we're the same person. Like, make it make sense. Like...
04:29That's clear as mud.
04:31My favourite Hollywood slime that was said to me was in a scene where Anna Passi plays Sienna,
04:37and she called me a rancid, leggy bitch. And you know what? I am a leggy bitch.
04:41Wowzers. How are you going to win, then?
04:44Definitely channeling a bit of Vicky. Otherwise, I don't think I'm going to get through it.
04:48I mean, you're just going to see me crying like chopping potatoes.
04:51Like... So, I'm going to be Vicky for a day.
04:54Look forward to it.
04:55That sounds like it could be salmon. Smoked salmon? Perhaps? We'll see. I like that.
05:02Completing the line-up is veteran Hollyoaks legend James Redmond.
05:06I play Finn. I was in the show 98 to 2002.
05:12Carol.
05:13And then back for a bit in 2013 with a late-night series with Danny Dyer.
05:17And then back again 2018 and back again now.
05:20He's like a ruddy boomerang.
05:22I'm very excited to see who else is on the show. I'm hoping I know one or two of them.
05:27Yeah, but before we get into the other guests, is there something you'd like to reveal to everybody, James?
05:32James. Nice to meet you. Very nice to meet you. James, come in.
05:35I've been on the show before. I think 15 years ago. And I came... Let me just check. I came bottom.
05:43In fourth place, James.
05:47Oh, what? Well done.
05:49I could do better, I think, is the school report on that. I need to... I need to redeem myself.
05:54It'd be hard to do any worse. Over with Nicole and she's fancying up her fish.
05:59So, the idea is to make it look like fish's scales.
06:03Very creative. On-go-edible flowers.
06:06There's a bit of tropical paradise there.
06:08And if they're not impressed with that, I'm sure they will be with the eyes.
06:11It looks like a comedy fish.
06:14Little bit of area. It's not from French. It's actually from...
06:19What? Look at that! That's good. I'm very proud of that.
06:24Well done, you. On to the main. Birds on the island and it's not a dodo.
06:29Which island though, mate? You know, be more specific.
06:32People say dead as a dodo, don't they? That means he's not dead.
06:35If it's a pigeon, I'll give it a go.
06:37Back with the host. Hold on. Dave's chopping up the veg for the chicken stew. Nicole?
06:43How's the chopping going? Not sure you've got time for that.
06:51Ready for you now. Thanks, love.
06:53What if it's chicken? If it is chicken, it's got a lot of hard work there to get that pucker.
07:01It's well boring, isn't it? At the moment, yes.
07:06Nicole spoons a selection of spices including ground, coriander and cumin before chopping her chicken.
07:12Did you know that dodos came from Mauritius? Not Manchester.
07:17Not sure anyone thought dodos were from Manchester.
07:20Nicole heats the spices and adds the chicken, veg and a shed load more spices.
07:25More canine pepper. Canine? Canine pepper will give it a bit of bark.
07:30You mean bite, surely? Yeah. I know. In it goes, followed by stock, then quinoa.
07:37That's just going to simmer away and I will serve that tonight with rice.
07:42Splendid! Onto dessert, cool ring of fire.
07:46A ring of fire doesn't sound good.
07:49My mind's gone somewhere and it shouldn't have gone.
07:53I hope that's not what we're going to end up with after the first two cookies.
07:58Now, I've got the name from a Johnny Cash song, A Burning Ring of Fire,
08:02because obviously you're going to have a spicy stew first.
08:06So I thought a cool ring of fire would be better.
08:09Well, it's very thoughtful.
08:10For the ice cream, Nicole whisks coconut cream and rum.
08:14Oh, shoot.
08:16Oh, no!
08:17Wait.
08:18In goes sugar.
08:19No!
08:20Not all of it.
08:21Steady, Dave. Keep going.
08:22That's enough.
08:23Bit more.
08:25Followed by vanilla and pineapple.
08:27How does it taste?
08:28Very coconut.
08:29It is, isn't it?
08:30I know.
08:31What if they don't like coconut?
08:34They'll just have to have pineapple.
08:36I hope they like pineapple.
08:37It's a bit late for that now.
08:39So this has got a chill in the fridge.
08:42What's that dessert where they have, like, hot and cold together?
08:46Baked Alaska, is that it?
08:47It's not that, Jimbo.
08:48After cooling, the mixture is transferred to an ice cream maker.
08:52Now I'm going to serve this ice cream with flambé pineapple.
08:57Wish me luck.
08:58Good luck.
08:59Prep done.
09:00While Nicole pops off for a change, the guests ponder the dress code.
09:04Tropical northern paradise.
09:07Geordie Shore.
09:08Obviously.
09:09I'm thinking jungle.
09:10I'm thinking animals.
09:12I want safari jeeps pulling us up outside.
09:14I want big things from this menu.
09:16Welcome to the jungle.
09:18First to show her spots.
09:19It's Anya.
09:20Come on in.
09:21Come on in.
09:22Come on in.
09:23I reckon.
09:24Come on.
09:25It's perfect.
09:26And fighting through the foliage.
09:27It's Charlie.
09:28Hello.
09:29Hi.
09:30Hi.
09:31Hi.
09:32How are you?
09:33How are you?
09:34I love this.
09:35Are you all right?
09:36Are you all right?
09:38I thought you got smaller.
09:39Show me.
09:40Next in her tiger onesie, Izzy.
09:41Hi, sweetie.
09:42You look amazing.
09:43Welcome, welcome to tropical paradise.
09:46And making a minimal effort with the dress code.
09:47Here's OG Hollyoaker James.
09:48How are you doing?
09:49Good boy.
09:50I'm great.
09:52How are you?
09:53We've met before.
09:54We have.
09:55A few years ago.
09:56You sure?
09:57Come in.
09:58I can't think of your name.
09:59That's really rude.
10:00That's all right.
10:01I'm James.
10:02I only know you as Finn.
10:03There you go.
10:04I used to watch Hollyoaks when he was in it, and I used to absolutely love his character.
10:21I thought he was the best.
10:23Hi.
10:24Hi.
10:25Hollyoaks legend.
10:27You all right?
10:28You guys all work together?
10:30Yeah.
10:31But we don't actually ever have any scenes together, do we?
10:34So I worked with her for six months before I knew she was my niece.
10:38I've heard that James was one of the original cast members.
10:41I wasn't even born. I'm a 2004 baby.
10:45Ouch. I'm the OG, you know. I've got a lot I could teach them.
10:49I don't remember James. He must have been an extra or something
10:52cos I never see him. Must have really been scraping the barrel.
10:55Double ouch! I just want you guys to enjoy yourself.
10:58If you don't like the food, then leave.
11:01Yay!
11:02Coming up...
11:03Little fishes on the dishes.
11:05A peculiar pipe.
11:08I've never gone around someone's house and gone all nice didgeridoo.
11:11And a failed flambé.
11:13You can't see it, but it's on fire.
11:15Ta-da!
11:17Hats off to her. I wouldn't have been able to do that.
11:26It's night one of our Hollyoaks 30th anniversary special.
11:31Where Myra McQueen, I mean Nicole, is hoping to impress her guests
11:34with a night of tropical treats and bag a grand for charity.
11:38While she busies herself with the starter,
11:40Izzy and Charlie are off exploring.
11:42Oh my gosh, she's gone to town.
11:44She has gone to town.
11:45Is that a didgeridoo?
11:46Did she play the didgeridoo?
11:47Yeah, do you think she just had this?
11:50I wonder what great didgeridoo she is.
11:52Very odd things to have in your lounge, aren't they?
11:54I mean, yeah, I've never gone round someone's house
11:56and gone all nice didgeridoo.
11:58You haven't lived.
12:00Back with Nicole and she's finessing her fish with the caviar.
12:04No expense spared for my guests.
12:07On goes Japanese mayo and it's done.
12:10Little fish is on the dishes.
12:11Here it is, Paradise Upstream Catch.
12:14Oh, there we go.
12:17Oh, this looks lovely.
12:19Smoked salmon.
12:20Yes, very nice.
12:22And then a squashed blackberry.
12:23Lovely.
12:25Is everybody all right with caviar?
12:27Yeah.
12:27I've never had it.
12:29You've had it before?
12:30I've never had it.
12:31I'm from Manchester.
12:32I've never had caviar before.
12:37Mmm.
12:38Good.
12:39No, that's really nice.
12:40Oh, it is good.
12:41The salmon and the mango was lovely.
12:43Not a combination I would put together, but it was really nice.
12:47Taste-wise, unreal.
12:49Like, it did taste really good.
12:51Mmm.
12:52Do you like the mayonnaise?
12:53Yeah.
12:53So, this is creepy and it's...
12:55It's what?
12:55It's what?
12:56Thank you for having me.
12:58That's rude to do with the dinner table.
12:59I think it's what?
13:02Just finish your mouthful first.
13:03Just have a little creepy.
13:07Oh, my God.
13:09We've lost her.
13:10Actually, it's Japanese and it's made from,
13:12like, pure egg.
13:14The mayo was interesting.
13:15I hadn't had that mayo before.
13:16Like, a spicy Japanese mayo, I think it was.
13:18I quite enjoyed the stuff.
13:19I was surprised.
13:20Do you want any more of this?
13:21Yeah, I'll have a bit of egg.
13:22Yeah.
13:22That's very nice.
13:23Yeah.
13:24I think I might have a...
13:25I think you'll wait until I'm done, actually.
13:28I think you'll wait until I'm done,
13:29and then you can have some caviar.
13:30I've never had it before.
13:31Look, it's smashing through the caviar.
13:33Here.
13:33Do you want a straw?
13:34Let's all wait until you've had some.
13:38It's all about you, innit?
13:40It's all about you.
13:41Izzy, I've never had caviar before.
13:43She's done about 25 quid's worth of caviar.
13:46Look at you!
13:47It's my food!
13:49It's falling under me.
13:50I'm pleased it wasn't soup.
13:51That's all I'm saying.
13:53This is the first time I've ever eaten
13:55without putting my elbows on the table.
13:56I know!
13:57It's a basic requisite, isn't it,
14:01that you do serve your dishes on a steady surface.
14:06You know, don't maybe serve them
14:08on a mountain of astroturf.
14:11Back with the group, and Nicole's got a question.
14:14Worst jobs you've ever had before Hollyoaks?
14:17Oh, I worked at a horrible Italian restaurant, right?
14:20It was not nice.
14:21It's people.
14:23It's customers, yeah.
14:24It is.
14:25Yeah.
14:26I worked in a supermarket
14:28and this guy came in
14:30and he went to the olive oil aisle
14:33thinking it was alcohol,
14:35opened a bottle of olive oil,
14:37drank it,
14:38threw the olive oil up everywhere
14:40and he gave me a mop and a hazmat suit
14:42and said, Izzy, clean it up.
14:44Did you clean it up?
14:45I did.
14:46It did look like wine, though, to be fair to him.
14:48It did look like wine.
14:49To be fair to him,
14:50to be fair to him,
14:51it did look like wine.
14:53Shimon's doing this, doing acting.
14:54I can't imagine when she hasn't got a hot water bottle.
14:57I can't imagine what she's like
14:57when she's got clean up in aisle four.
14:59As we're in this tropical northern jungle,
15:03I've got a question.
15:05If you could talk to a jungle animal,
15:09what jungle animal would you talk to
15:11and what would you ask it?
15:12I'd speak to one of the monkeys,
15:15one of the apes.
15:15I was just going to say that.
15:17And say, yeah, too late.
15:18And I'd say, er...
15:20And I'd say...
15:21It's a shame.
15:22It's a shame for you.
15:24And I'd say, can you understand us?
15:26Ooh.
15:27That's a good question.
15:28Thank you, yeah.
15:29I was going to say that.
15:30They're so close to being us, aren't they?
15:32Yeah.
15:32I wonder what they're thinking.
15:33Do you think they'll ever get to a point
15:34where they have, like, shops and stuff?
15:38Oh, are you looking for another job?
15:42No, because we are.
15:42I mean, you pay peanuts.
15:43We are!
15:47That was just something
15:48where my mind went over to a different place
15:50and then I realised how stupid I sounded.
15:53And here we are.
15:56That could be a winning starter.
15:58Jolly good.
15:59Time for the main.
16:00Nicole finishes off the stew,
16:02gets the veg cooking
16:03and makes her special rice.
16:05How's it turned out?
16:06That looks good.
16:08I hope it tastes OK.
16:10On goes the stew.
16:11Here we go.
16:12Birds on the island
16:13and it's not a dodo.
16:15There we go.
16:16How's your balancing, yeah?
16:17Yeah, very good.
16:17Have a sip of your drink.
16:21That's good.
16:21It does have a kick to it.
16:23I'll give you five
16:24if you eat that whole chilli in one.
16:26Oh, let him do it after.
16:27After your food.
16:28After the food?
16:29After the food.
16:30I think that's wise.
16:31OK, guys.
16:32Did you guess what it was?
16:33Because it wasn't a dodo.
16:34The most common bird?
16:36Chicken.
16:36Yay!
16:38I get it.
16:39And you are a common bird.
16:42No, no offence.
16:43No offence at all, Nicole.
16:45None taken, none taken.
16:46Good, good.
16:46You piece of it.
16:49This is what I want.
16:49Yeah, Nicole, it's lovely.
16:52So good.
16:53Really nice.
16:54That dinner was phenomenal.
16:57The rice was nice.
16:58It wasn't dry.
17:00Can't fault it, really.
17:01Your sauce has got chipolata in it
17:03and paprika and...
17:07Not chipolata.
17:08I know, what's it?
17:08Chipotle.
17:10Yay!
17:11And it's got canine pepper in as well.
17:13Canine?
17:14What?
17:15Dog pepper.
17:15It's got sausages and dogs in it.
17:16What's it called?
17:17Not canine.
17:19Cayenne.
17:20When you're dyslexic, you know.
17:22Oh, God.
17:23Anything goes.
17:24The chicken was well done.
17:26The sauce was brilliant.
17:27It all went together nicely.
17:29Annoying, really.
17:30All I can say is that they must have been hungry.
17:33So it's great.
17:34Good work.
17:35So your most embarrassing Hollyoaks moment.
17:38I'll tell you mine.
17:39Mm.
17:40I was watching, Jen, thinking...
17:43Mercedes this is, right?
17:44Yeah, she plays Mercedes.
17:45And I was thinking, gosh, she's so good.
17:47And I was watching.
17:48I was watching and I thought,
17:49something should be happening now.
17:51And then they went,
17:52Oh, my God.
17:53It should be me.
17:53I'm on.
17:54I've done that.
17:55I was working with Ben Hull,
17:57who played Lewis.
17:58Right, yeah.
17:58He's brilliant.
18:00And I was just in a two-hander.
18:02Oh, you should know.
18:03There's nobody else there, mate.
18:05And he's so good.
18:06And he was crying in the scene.
18:07I was thinking,
18:08God, he's good, isn't he?
18:11And there's a big pause.
18:12And I thought,
18:13Oh!
18:14You've got a line, James.
18:17He had them to go,
18:18No, it's fine, James.
18:19It's fine.
18:19It's totally fine.
18:20I've got to now dry my eyes,
18:21try and look like I haven't been crying
18:23for the next take.
18:26Idiot.
18:26We butted heads on our face.
18:27That was, I was going to say,
18:29that's my most embarrassing moment
18:31is actually trying to do a kissing scene
18:32with him for the first time.
18:34Misjudging the height completely
18:35and absolutely shatting it out.
18:37Straighten up, wasn't it?
18:38It was awful.
18:38Can we get a medic?
18:39Yeah.
18:41There was quite a lot of headbutting,
18:42a few bloody noses,
18:43and, er,
18:45yeah, they're your bandage.
18:47Me and Charlie are such good friends.
18:48It's kind of like kissing your brother.
18:50Okay.
18:51And speaking of mouths,
18:53Anya's not letting Charlie off
18:54his chilli challenge.
18:56Get it down in one.
18:57Oh!
18:58They're really hot, mate.
18:59Look at the realisation.
19:03Look at the realisation.
19:03It's in this.
19:04Wow.
19:06Is that a drink?
19:08Somebody pass you for the drink.
19:09Come on.
19:10Come on.
19:10Is that a drink?
19:12It didn't melt, definitely.
19:13Babe, it's...
19:15Oh, my God.
19:18I was watering down a bit.
19:19Oh, my God.
19:20It's gone bright red.
19:23Put airs on your chest,
19:24that one.
19:26I played it down a lot,
19:28but I was dying inside.
19:30It's his own fault, really,
19:31for doing it.
19:32Charlie,
19:32just think of it coming up
19:33the other end next.
19:35Well, that's the ring of fire,
19:36isn't it?
19:36It's the ring of fire.
19:37That's the ring of fire.
19:38It's the ring of fire for dessert.
19:38He's going to be in a bit of trouble tonight,
19:42praying for you, Charlie.
19:43That's me.
19:44Off for the next four nights.
19:45Nice try, Charlie.
19:47Maybe dessert will cool you down.
19:49That is a lot of rum, though.
19:51I'm going to flambe this pineapple.
19:53Is that wise?
19:54And this is the ring of fire.
19:55It's the dog in the pond all over again.
19:57Save yourselves!
19:58OK, well, it's actually on fire,
20:00but I don't know if you can see.
20:02It's...
20:02It's actually...
20:04You can't see it,
20:05but it's on fire.
20:06Is it, though?
20:07Ta-da!
20:10Stand the fire brigade down.
20:12I didn't really see any fire.
20:13I saw a bit of smoke,
20:15but hats off to her.
20:16I wouldn't have been able to do that.
20:17That's very charitable of you.
20:19Here it is.
20:19Cool ring of fire.
20:22Sorry, it's got plonked yours on there.
20:25What a mess.
20:27Listen, I'd try harder with the presentation,
20:29but I'm pretty much done, you know?
20:32It's been a long day, love.
20:33It's been a long day, darling.
20:35This is ice cream.
20:36Oh, my gosh.
20:37Have you made that yourself?
20:37I made this myself.
20:39It looks like mash.
20:41What's going on?
20:43Mash and pineapple.
20:45Mmm, tuck it.
20:47It reminded me of being at school,
20:49you know, like when you're in a dinner queue,
20:50or at the start of Oliver Twist with a gruel.
20:52It's a bit like that.
20:53It's so nice.
20:54It is really nice.
20:55I do really like cinnamon.
20:56But it tasted quite nice.
20:58The ice cream could have been slightly creamier.
21:00Earlier on, me and Izzy were having a little moot around.
21:04Oh, yeah?
21:05We found a didgeridoo.
21:06Yeah?
21:07A didgeridoo?
21:07Yeah.
21:08A didgerifouled.
21:09Yeah.
21:09Aww.
21:10Can we have a demonstration from you?
21:13You sure you want to hear this?
21:17Wow.
21:17I can make that noise, but not with that.
21:20Yeah, sensible mojito, fresh air.
21:24Scores, please.
21:25I think it could be a winning evening.
21:29Nicole's night has been amazing.
21:30She's kept the vibes going, and the food has been great.
21:33And for that reason, I am going to score her an eight.
21:37Tonight has been so much fun.
21:39The food was unreal.
21:42And for that reason, I am giving it an eight.
21:45All round, good evening.
21:47I am going to give her seven.
21:51Blinded night.
21:52Really enjoyed it.
21:53A lot of fun.
21:54Really good first night.
21:55Chicken didn't quite have the wow factor, but it's an eight for me.
21:59And with that, Nicole bags herself a junglist.
22:02Massive 31 points.
22:04Woo!
22:04Next time.
22:06What are you wearing?
22:08Joey digits.
22:09Oh, look at that.
22:11That should not be happening, should it?
22:13And bristly back and forth.
22:14I saw your awards.
22:16Very impressive.
22:17You saw one newcomer, was it?
22:18Have you won that newcomer?
22:19Three times.
22:20How can you be a newcomer three times?
22:22Obviously thought I was good enough.
22:24Me and James got on really well last night.
22:27I don't know what's changed.
22:28See you next time.
22:55Bye-bye.
22:56Bye-bye.
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