- 2 months ago
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The End
00:01:30Larry, they're waiting.
00:01:41I'm coming.
00:01:42I'm coming.
00:01:42I'm coming.
00:02:12I'm coming.
00:02:42I'm coming.
00:03:12I'm coming.
00:03:42I'm coming.
00:04:12I'm coming.
00:04:42I'm coming.
00:05:12How many generations of your family lived here?
00:05:20I don't know.
00:05:21I don't know.
00:05:30Who decorated this place?
00:05:53I don't know.
00:06:03I don't know.
00:06:14I don't know.
00:06:16I don't know.
00:06:27I don't know.
00:06:28I don't know.
00:06:41I don't know.
00:06:42I don't know.
00:06:54I don't know.
00:06:55I don't know.
00:07:09I don't know.
00:07:22I don't know.
00:07:23I don't know.
00:07:25I don't know.
00:07:39I don't know.
00:07:40I don't know.
00:07:41I don't know.
00:07:42I don't know.
00:07:42I don't know.
00:07:43I don't know.
00:07:56I don't know.
00:08:26I don't know.
00:08:56What on earth were you doing?
00:09:16I couldn't sleep, so I went downstairs to just look around.
00:09:25What is that?
00:09:30What?
00:09:31I knew it.
00:09:32You did that.
00:09:37But I don't do it.
00:09:39Do it.
00:09:40Oh, my God.
00:09:46Wait it!
00:09:48Oh, my God.
00:09:49Oh, my God.
00:09:50Oh, my God.
00:09:55Happy birthday to you.
00:09:59Happy birthday to you.
00:10:04Oh, hey, you didn't have to do this.
00:10:07Sure I did.
00:10:08You're the only person I know who's ever been famous, huh?
00:10:11Hardly famous, Charlie.
00:10:13Nobody reads this magazine.
00:10:15Oh, well, you know, I mean, I have to admit,
00:10:17I don't look at the pictures.
00:10:19I only read it for the interviews.
00:10:21What?
00:10:22Yeah, you know.
00:10:24Hey, look at this couch.
00:10:26Nice and comfortable.
00:10:27I'm better.
00:10:34Wait, wait, wait, yeah.
00:10:41Here.
00:10:43Yeah, yeah.
00:10:57Can you hold on for just a second?
00:11:04That I'd be taken up to hyperspace.
00:11:08It seems so strange.
00:11:11It seems so strange.
00:11:13I only touch you.
00:11:16And then you move right.
00:11:21Excuse me.
00:11:23Oh, hi, Kate.
00:11:25Hey, is it too loud?
00:11:26The body, really?
00:11:29What, what, what is this you're playing?
00:11:32That's Puse Glitz and the Avoiders.
00:11:34Puse Glitz?
00:11:35Yeah, that's my stage name.
00:11:37This is you?
00:11:38Uh, yeah.
00:11:39And, uh, I'm her manager.
00:11:42Uh, Kate, I don't feel compelled to tell you
00:11:44we are weighing several offers from some big producers,
00:11:47but to drop names would be tacky.
00:11:50But you don't have a contract yet.
00:11:52I mean, you haven't signed anything yet, have you?
00:11:54Oh, no.
00:11:55We don't believe in success.
00:11:57Yeah, we want to make a lot of money
00:11:58and be real famous, but no success.
00:12:00No, there's a very subtle difference, you know.
00:12:05John, I've got to get back to you.
00:12:07I think I may have found what we're looking for.
00:12:10Sweet sensation.
00:12:12Ow!
00:12:13Sweet vibration.
00:12:15Sweet sensation.
00:12:30Hmm. They're different.
00:12:42This one's got jewels on its eyes.
00:12:52They're not the same skull.
00:12:55Hey, Jeff, what you doing there, huh?
00:12:57Come on, Charlie, give it. It's, uh, private.
00:13:00Hey, this is cool. Looks like it's old. What is it?
00:13:02Come on, Charlie, give it.
00:13:04No, no, no, not until you tell me what it is.
00:13:06It's nothing.
00:13:09Promise you won't laugh?
00:13:11Yeah.
00:13:13You'll never believe me.
00:13:15Sure, I will. Here, okay, here, take it.
00:13:19See this guy?
00:13:20It's my great-great-grandfather.
00:13:23He has the same name as me.
00:13:24He was an outlaw in the Old West.
00:13:27Okay, I'll buy that.
00:13:28Yeah, look at the skull he's holding.
00:13:30It's made completely out of raw crystal.
00:13:33And this guy in the background, this is Jesse's partner, Slim Reeser.
00:13:37Uh-uh.
00:13:38Now, he and Jesse had a falling out over the skull and became bitter enemies.
00:13:43Slim died without ever getting the skull from Jesse.
00:13:47All right, now, look at this. You see this skull?
00:13:50Right now, it's different from the one here in the book, right?
00:13:52I mean, this one has got jewels in the eyes.
00:13:54Wait, wait a minute.
00:13:54But, listen to this.
00:13:57Okay, um, all right.
00:14:00Legend has it that there was a second skull that had untold powers that could unlock the mysteries of the universe
00:14:05and bring eternal life to those who possessed it.
00:14:07So, the question is, if this is the legendary second skull, where is it?
00:14:21Well, why ask me? I mean, how am I supposed to know?
00:14:24Charlie, Charlie, um, there's an old cemetery up on the hill.
00:14:31Jesse was buried there in 1916.
00:14:34Now, look here.
00:14:35It says that when the Aztecs buried their dead,
00:14:38they wrapped the bodies in several layers of cloth
00:14:40and they surrounded them with their weapons and jewels.
00:14:45It was worth millions?
00:14:47Was it?
00:14:47A lot.
00:14:48I say, let's go for it.
00:15:05There's nothing down here.
00:15:08Let's quit.
00:15:10I don't care.
00:15:11If all the money in the world is down here,
00:15:14I just want some sleep.
00:15:15I've become really tired.
00:15:28Charlie.
00:15:29Huh?
00:15:30You got it.
00:15:31Oh, no.
00:15:32No.
00:15:41You got it, Charlie?
00:15:42Yeah.
00:15:45I can't.
00:15:50I gave up her.
00:15:52I can't listen to anything.
00:15:54Please, let me down.
00:15:56Please, let me down.
00:15:58Please, let me down.
00:16:15Oh, my God.
00:16:45I don't have time for this chest that's in there.
00:16:48Charlie!
00:17:08Help me, you idiot!
00:17:15Come on, look out!
00:17:28How is it?
00:17:30Jesse!
00:17:34It's me!
00:17:36I'm your great-great-grandson.
00:17:39They named me after you.
00:17:41My name is Jesse, too.
00:17:45My great-great-grandson?
00:18:05What year is it?
00:18:07I don't know.
00:18:09Now, don't you mess with me, boy.
00:18:11Ah, 1986!
00:18:13October 30th!
00:18:14October 30th, 1986!
00:18:20Oh, damn.
00:18:22You know, I've been waiting over 70 years
00:18:24for some jackass to get the sense to come dig me up.
00:18:29Thank you, boy.
00:18:30Thank you, boy.
00:18:30Well, there she is.
00:18:47There's something special about this old house.
00:18:50Can't you feel it?
00:18:52I can.
00:18:53Let's go this way.
00:19:14Where are you going?
00:19:15Where are you going?
00:19:20There.
00:19:23Remember, boys,
00:19:36this house is a temple
00:19:39as fantastic as any pyramid or castle
00:19:42you'll ever see.
00:19:45You don't know time or space
00:19:47or any of that hogwash,
00:19:49but the forces of evil
00:19:50are always after this, Gull,
00:19:52and you've got to help me to protect it.
00:19:54So don't let no one
00:19:55touch the dang thing, you hear?
00:20:10Here.
00:20:11You can sleep on this.
00:20:13Is this the way you treat family?
00:20:18Making them hide down in the basement
00:20:20like some slimy old lizard?
00:20:23Well, I'm sorry.
00:20:24I must be out of practice.
00:20:25I don't have any family, sir.
00:20:27Don't call me sir.
00:20:28I ain't no politician.
00:20:31Heck, I'm your great-great-grandfather.
00:20:35You can call me Gramps.
00:20:37That's what your granddaddy
00:20:40used to call me.
00:20:42All right.
00:20:43Gramps.
00:20:47Well,
00:20:48we better hit the hay.
00:20:51But I'm not tired.
00:20:54I don't need no sleep.
00:20:56Well, let's get me cleaned up
00:20:58and then we can go out on the town
00:21:00and do a little high-stepping.
00:21:01I don't know
00:21:04if that's such a good idea.
00:21:06Why not?
00:21:07There's nothing wrong with me.
00:21:09No,
00:21:10there's nothing wrong with you.
00:21:14Something's bothering you.
00:21:15I can see it in your eyes.
00:21:18Look,
00:21:18I'm just as fit as a fiddle.
00:21:21I'm...
00:21:21Oh, no.
00:21:31Oh, no.
00:21:33I...
00:21:34I'm supposed to be young again.
00:21:41Gramps,
00:21:42maybe she...
00:21:44Look at me.
00:21:50I'm a hundred and seventy-year-old
00:21:54fart.
00:21:56A goddamn zombie.
00:21:58Well,
00:22:01you look really good
00:22:03for a hundred and seventy-year-old zombie.
00:22:04Gramps,
00:22:05really great.
00:22:10I ain't gonna die
00:22:12if it's the last thing I do.
00:22:13I don't wanna see
00:22:18if it's the last thing I do.
00:22:26I ain't gonna die.
00:22:29I don't wanna die yet.
00:22:33Oh, yeah.
00:23:05What in tarnation is it?
00:23:10Gramps, this is a 1986 Alfa Romeo spider.
00:23:17Zero to sixty, seven point three seconds.
00:23:35Let it out slow.
00:23:43There you go, real slow.
00:23:45There you go.
00:23:52Yee-haw!
00:23:54Look at them stars.
00:24:06You know, they were clearer back in the old days, and sometimes it was so bright you couldn't
00:24:17get to sleep.
00:24:19Well, you know, Gramps, it's the ozone.
00:24:23I mean, you know, insect repellence, you know, underarm deodorants, maybe just a pinch
00:24:31of communism.
00:24:32It's making the stars fade away.
00:24:34You're drunk.
00:24:35You're drunk.
00:24:36You're drunk.
00:24:37Whoa!
00:24:42I better drive.
00:24:56Year!
00:25:03Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:25:06You're out!
00:25:08You're out!
00:25:30Charlie?
00:25:36jesse you old golf bag how are you uh john what are you doing here
00:25:45oh uh well your beautiful lady informed me that she's found the madonna of the 80s i
00:25:50thought i'd better come by and check it out hey i thought madonna was the madonna of the 80s
00:25:55very good who's your friend bozo the clown no bozo the death machine uh charlie charlie this
00:26:04is john statman kate's boss he's the president of heretic records
00:26:09okay okay okay john statman of course this is really a pleasure i'm really happy to meet you
00:26:21charlie coreyell manager of puse glitz and the avoidant kate ta-da here she is great you have
00:26:28the tape where are you going we're doing lunch john made a special trip out here to meet lana
00:26:32and listen to her demo tape see you later jesse
00:26:38great you just keep coming and coming and coming
00:26:48where the hell they all coming from anyhow
00:26:52got all them channels and got nothing interesting to watch well there i was right out in the middle
00:27:12of kansas facing 500 crazy fanatics heavily armed and me with only 15 soldiers
00:27:18now you take this ronald reagan
00:27:20he sure is a pansy
00:27:23he wouldn't have lasted 10 minutes back in the old days
00:27:27my dear young lady there comes a time in every soldier's life when he must stand or fall alone
00:27:31and if you knew the army you'd understand
00:27:33it wouldn't do no good to tell you how it was you had to be there in all them movies and books and
00:27:41crap they don't tell you how it really was he was rough
00:27:45i got a question for you whatever happened to slim reaser
00:27:48slim reaser ain't part of my vocabulary no more son
00:27:56we we had a disagreement about who the skulls belong to
00:28:03what did you do
00:28:06i shot the scallywag is what i did
00:28:10well he took a shot at me first so i had to teach him a lesson
00:28:14and i left him to die in the mojave desert
00:28:18and that was that
00:28:21yeah that was that
00:28:24i uh gramps did you ever rob a stagecoach
00:28:29sure
00:28:32all right all the time
00:28:35i robbed a stagecoach once just outside of dodge city
00:28:41now every day at about 5 30 it used to come into the bank
00:28:46with a bag of money that would give an elephant a hernia
00:28:49we set up on both sides of a little gorge just outside of town
00:28:54and when the stagecoach come on through
00:28:57we had boys
00:28:58and they chased me around them hills
00:29:01and clean across the border into arizona territory
00:29:05well i was a riding for about two weeks without ever getting out of the saddle
00:29:10trying to lose it fellas
00:29:12and there was a sudden i'm taking that right through the leg right there
00:29:22right
00:29:23and another one just under the shoulder
00:29:24oh right there
00:29:26the caves were never uncovered again
00:29:29and there must have been a billion dollars in diamonds and jewels down there
00:29:35now that's something i intend to search for
00:29:39just as soon as i get rejuvenated
00:29:42shh
00:29:44what
00:29:46i hear something
00:29:47yeah it sounds like music
00:29:50what time is it
00:29:57bring back some more beer
00:29:59i invited some people over for halloween
00:30:28thanks for god
00:30:30sorry
00:30:32enjoy
00:30:35hey get over here
00:30:39guess who
00:30:57rochelle
00:31:01long time no see
00:31:03it's been so long since i've seen you
00:31:17i
00:31:20yeah it sure has
00:31:22excuse me
00:31:25how long you out here for
00:31:32like a week
00:31:35would you hold this trash for a minute
00:31:49sure
00:31:50you look great
00:31:51now i know some uh some people down in hollywood
00:31:57charlie
00:31:58charlie
00:31:59what
00:31:59look
00:32:00cramps
00:32:00what's he doing
00:32:02it looks like he's about to score
00:32:05yeah but how did he get up here
00:32:06well you relax it's halloween he blends right in
00:32:10all right
00:32:12all right
00:32:12all right
00:32:12all right
00:32:12go for it pal
00:32:13hey excuse me
00:32:19hey excuse me
00:32:19hey excuse me
00:32:20isn't he great
00:32:23yeah he's an old friend
00:32:26from way back
00:32:27from way back
00:32:28from way back
00:32:28from way back
00:32:56you
00:32:59you
00:33:03you
00:33:07you
00:33:08you
00:33:09you
00:33:11you
00:33:13you
00:33:14watch
00:33:15come on
00:33:16come on
00:33:19come on
00:33:20you
00:33:31can i talk to you
00:33:37jesse
00:33:44can i talk to you
00:33:48can i talk to you
00:33:52come back
00:33:54sure
00:33:55i'll meet you there
00:33:56okie dokie
00:33:57okie dokie
00:34:03hey
00:34:17you
00:34:19you
00:34:20you better pack your ass in a suitcase and head for Panama
00:34:24you
00:34:25jerk
00:34:26a
00:34:29i
00:34:31i
00:34:32i
00:34:33i
00:34:35i
00:34:37i
00:34:38i
00:34:40i
00:34:41i
00:34:43No!
00:34:45Charlie, stop!
00:34:47Hold it!
00:34:49Stop! Stop!
00:34:51Look out!
00:34:53Stop! Stop!
00:34:55Look out!
00:35:13Charlie, there's a jungle in there.
00:35:29Get you something, dear?
00:35:31Valium! Get me Valium!
00:35:37With whiskey, get me whiskey.
00:35:43I need the skull.
00:35:49Without it, I'm a goner for sure.
00:35:51Don't let him get away.
00:35:53Gramps, there's a jungle upstairs.
00:35:57He took it in there.
00:35:59He's from the Stone Age, kid.
00:36:01You gotta stop him.
00:36:03Don't worry, he's a pushover.
00:36:05Gramps, I don't think you understand.
00:36:07There is a jungle!
00:36:09Jesse!
00:36:11With the wrong hands, that skull could cause trouble.
00:36:13Now go!
00:36:23Charlie?
00:36:25Charlie!
00:36:27Charlie, don't sneak up behind me like that.
00:36:29Well, I just happened to have this in the trunk of the car.
00:36:33You never know when you're gonna need one in a pinch, huh?
00:36:35What is it?
00:36:37This is an Uzi semi-automatic firing weapon.
00:36:39Charlie, this is a machine gun.
00:36:41So?
00:36:42So?
00:36:43So?
00:36:44So?
00:36:45So, what about me, what do I get?
00:36:47I only had the one Uzi, you know?
00:36:48I only had the one Uzi, you know.
00:36:49But, uh, I got one of these.
00:36:53What do I do with this?
00:36:54Light cigars?
00:36:55No, you shoot people with it.
00:36:56Duh.
00:36:57Okay.
00:36:58On the count of three.
00:36:59You're gonna kick the door open.
00:37:13What do I do with this, light cigars?
00:37:17No, you shoot people with it.
00:37:19Duh.
00:37:22Okay.
00:37:24On the count of three,
00:37:25you're gonna kick the door open,
00:37:28run in there blindly, and I'll cover you, okay?
00:37:31The guy with the big gun goes first.
00:37:35Okay.
00:37:39Ready?
00:37:42One.
00:37:44Two.
00:37:45Hold on, hold on.
00:37:50One.
00:37:52Two.
00:37:54Three.
00:37:56Yeah!
00:37:58Let's go!
00:37:59One.
00:38:00One.
00:38:01One.
00:38:01One.
00:38:02One.
00:38:02One.
00:38:03One.
00:38:03One.
00:38:03One.
00:38:04One.
00:38:04One.
00:38:05One.
00:38:05One.
00:38:05One.
00:38:06One.
00:38:06One.
00:38:06One.
00:38:06One.
00:38:07One.
00:38:07One.
00:38:07One.
00:38:08One.
00:38:08One.
00:38:08One.
00:38:09One.
00:38:39Oh! What are you doing?
00:38:57Making sure you're not dreaming.
00:39:09Charlie!
00:39:25Nobody's home.
00:39:32What do we do? We need a plan.
00:39:35Yeah, let's get the skull and get the hell out of here.
00:39:38Good plan.
00:39:39Good plan.
00:40:09Thanks, Charlie.
00:40:14Should I please?
00:40:25Take your best shot.
00:40:27Take your best shot.
00:40:35No!
00:40:39You coward!
00:41:09Come back and fight like a man!
00:41:32Where'd he go?
00:41:33He ran away with his tail between his legs!
00:41:35Jake and Jake, barbarian!
00:41:37Charlie, we're good.
00:41:39All right!
00:41:40Charlie!
00:41:41Go!
00:41:42He's right!
00:41:43Yeah!
00:41:44Yeah!
00:41:47Oh no!
00:41:48Oh no!
00:41:51Come back!
00:41:52Wait!
00:41:53Hey, Jess!
00:41:54Go Logan!
00:42:07It's this one!
00:42:09It's this one!
00:42:24Go on, hurry up!
00:42:25Hurry up!
00:42:31Jess!
00:42:32Don't worry!
00:42:33If you fall, you'll die real fast!
00:42:35Thanks, Charlie!
00:42:55Hey!
00:42:57You just did this!
00:42:59I'm going to die!
00:43:00And now I'm going to die!
00:43:01Hey!
00:43:02You're gonna die!
00:43:04You're gonna die!
00:43:05Oh no!
00:43:06You're gonna die!
00:43:07Hey, Jess!
00:43:08Hey, Jess!
00:43:09Tommy!
00:43:10Hey!
00:43:11You're gonna die!
00:43:12He's gonna die!
00:43:13That's true!
00:43:14You're doing great, Jess.
00:43:34Keep going.
00:43:36What an idiot.
00:43:44What an idiot.
00:43:52What an idiot.
00:43:56What an idiot.
00:44:04What an idiot.
00:44:10Hey, Jess, looking good.
00:44:18Wish I had a camera.
00:44:24Okay.
00:44:30Nice bird.
00:44:36Nice birdie.
00:44:42Jeez.
00:44:44Huh.
00:44:54All right.
00:44:56Come on, Jess.
00:45:06Get out of here.
00:45:22Come on.
00:45:24Jess, I'm back here.
00:45:26Look.
00:45:28Jess, get out of here.
00:45:30Come on.
00:45:32Come on, Jess.
00:45:34No!
00:45:35Jess, it's coming.
00:45:37Get out!
00:45:38Get out of here, huh?
00:45:40Get out of here.
00:45:42Get out of here.
00:45:44Get me!
00:45:45Get me!
00:45:47Get me!
00:45:48I got it.
00:45:49Get me!
00:45:50I got you, Jess!
00:45:52Get out of here.
00:45:53What was that?
00:46:04It looked like a bomb.
00:46:09Why didn't users?
00:46:12Shirley.
00:46:14Charlie. Charlie, are you all right?
00:46:27I guess...
00:46:33Jack, get him off! He's eaten my life!
00:46:38Jack! He's eaten me alive!
00:46:44Charlie! Charlie!
00:47:02Hey, hey, hey!
00:47:05Hey, Jessica, can we keep him?
00:47:07Well, who's gonna take care of him, Charlie?
00:47:09I'll feed him some water and stuff.
00:47:11Charlie, help me!
00:47:17Charlie, help me!
00:47:21Don't forget the beer!
00:47:23Come on!
00:47:25Come on!
00:47:27Come on!
00:47:29Come on!
00:47:31Come on!
00:47:33Come on!
00:47:34Come on!
00:47:43Come on!
00:47:44Come on!
00:47:45Come on!
00:47:46Come on!
00:47:47Come on!
00:47:48Come on!
00:47:49Hey, uh, Jesse?
00:48:08Damn!
00:48:14Charlie, hi.
00:48:16Hi, John.
00:48:19Come on, give it back.
00:48:29There's nothing to worry about.
00:48:31We heard a noise.
00:48:33Noise?
00:48:35Oh, oh, oh, the really loud crashing noise, yeah.
00:48:40Yeah, I didn't like that one, yeah.
00:48:43Getcha!
00:48:44Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:48:48Come on back.
00:48:49Well, um, it's my skull.
00:48:50Where's the kitchen?
00:48:51Yeah.
00:48:52Look, we just want to know everything's okay.
00:48:54I couldn't do that.
00:48:55Oh.
00:48:55Listen, I wanted to tell you, before the evening got away, you are a funny, funny guy.
00:49:16And I mean that. That is the hardest commodity to find in our business, really.
00:49:19Look at this shirt. Is this great?
00:49:20The bananas.
00:49:22Where's the beer?
00:49:29What are you doing out here? Quick! Somebody's coming!
00:49:31They go all the way around the back.
00:49:33They do!
00:49:36Hi, John.
00:49:39Hi, buddy. What's cooking in the kitchen?
00:49:42Nothing.
00:49:43No? And what might be in that closet there?
00:49:46Nothing.
00:49:46Nothing.
00:49:48Well, can I see?
00:49:49John, I just told you there's nothing in the closet.
00:49:54Well, let me see nothing in the closet.
00:49:57It, uh, wouldn't happen to be your old friend Rochelle in there, would it?
00:50:02John, what is it you are accusing me of in my own house?
00:50:05I'm not accusing you of anything.
00:50:08I'm just asking a question.
00:50:10But I do think Kate would like an explanation.
00:50:13You want an explanation?
00:50:16All right. All right, I'll give you an explanation.
00:50:18Kate, Kate, get in here.
00:50:20Kate, I need to talk to you.
00:50:21Why are you yelling?
00:50:22I'm not yelling.
00:50:23Now, Kate, you know that since we got here, there's been some strange things going on in this house.
00:50:29Charlie, they want an explanation. I'm going to give them one. All right, now listen.
00:50:32All right, now Charlie and I, last night, went to the cemetery and we dug up my great-great-grandfather's grave.
00:50:40Because we were looking for a crystal skull. It's supposed to be magic.
00:50:43Anyway, we dug it up and we got the skull, but we also found my great-great-grandfather.
00:50:48He's dead, but he's alive.
00:50:51I mean, he's a mummy, and we brought him back and he's been staying in the basement.
00:50:56And Charlie and I have just been running through this jungle trying to get the skull back.
00:50:59And that's who's in there for your information, Mr. Sherlock Holmes.
00:51:11Hi, Rochelle. What are you doing in here?
00:51:16There's been a mistake.
00:51:17Apparently.
00:51:18Uh, you don't understand.
00:51:19I understand perfectly.
00:51:19No, Kate, listen to me. I have no idea what she was doing in there.
00:51:23Well, who did you think was in there?
00:51:24A mummy, or maybe even a baby pterodactyl.
00:51:29Shame on you, Jesse.
00:51:44Look! It's a prehistoric bird!
00:51:50Kate!
00:51:59Here, let me get this from you.
00:52:09Good riddance.
00:52:10She's out of here.
00:52:12Now we can do whatever we want.
00:52:14We'll run around in our underwear.
00:52:16Phony phone calls.
00:52:18That's a creep.
00:52:18Shut up, Charlie.
00:52:20Can't you shut your mouth just once?
00:52:22You're raised!
00:52:30Gramps, where's Rochelle?
00:52:33Watch this.
00:52:39Jesse.
00:52:42What is so wrong for you?
00:52:44Um, Rochelle.
00:52:46It's great to see you, but I'm having some family problems right now.
00:52:50Understand?
00:52:53Hey, Charlie.
00:52:54Can you call Rochelle a cab?
00:52:57Hey, Chucky.
00:52:58Hey, don't call me Chucky, okay?
00:53:02It's very sweet of you to come.
00:53:03Thanks.
00:53:22Hey there, birdie.
00:53:25How about a little trade, huh?
00:53:27Okay?
00:53:29Come on.
00:53:29Stay.
00:53:30Come on.
00:53:31I think he wants some more.
00:53:47I don't have any more stays.
00:53:53Now, now, now.
00:53:54I know that smells good.
00:53:55I know that smells good.
00:53:56Then he's gonna have it ready right away.
00:53:59Right away.
00:53:59Yeah, that's a fun.
00:54:01Yep, yep, yep.
00:54:02I know.
00:54:03I know that he knows.
00:54:06I know that he knows.
00:54:07Open your mouth.
00:54:08Yeah.
00:54:09Yeah.
00:54:18Gramps.
00:54:20I'm sorry I yelled at you.
00:54:22You got me a little upset.
00:54:24You know, I was just hankering to play a joke on somebody.
00:54:31And I'm sorry that it turned out to be you.
00:54:39That's enough, Bippy.
00:54:40That's enough, Bippy.
00:54:42Bippy.
00:54:43Bippy.
00:54:43That's enough.
00:54:44Now, don't you?
00:54:46Bippy.
00:54:49Oh, now, look.
00:54:51Just come on out and play.
00:54:54That's it.
00:54:55There you go.
00:54:56Um, Gramps, look, I gotta get to bed.
00:55:00Do you want me to put the skull back in the fireplace?
00:55:01You know, I'll take care of that.
00:55:04Do you want me to put the skull back in the fireplace?
00:55:34There you go.
00:55:35Oh, my God.
00:55:42Bye.
00:55:45Bye.
00:55:51Bye.
00:55:51Bye.
00:55:54Bye.
00:55:55Bye.
00:55:55Bye.
00:55:59Bye.
00:56:00Bye.
00:56:01Bye.
00:56:03Bye.
00:56:04Bippy, you little rascal, you scared the bejesus out of me.
00:56:34Bippy, you scared the bejesus out of me, you scared the bejesus out of me.
00:57:04Bippy, you scared the bejesus out of me.
00:57:15Gramps! Gramps!
00:57:20Jessie, Jessie, boy. Are you all right?
00:57:23They bushwhacked me. There must have been 30, 40 of them.
00:57:29They come at me for more than a reason.
00:57:32Charlie, get up!
00:57:35Charlie, come on. Charlie.
00:57:38Charlie, wake up!
00:57:40Get up!
00:57:41Charlie, come on.
00:57:43Come on. Come on.
00:57:45Oh, Jesus. Charlie, come on.
00:57:48Charlie!
00:57:49Charlie, get up!
00:57:54Justice better be real important.
00:57:56I just lost the skull.
00:57:59What?
00:57:59Somebody. I don't know who stole it.
00:58:01He's dying, Charlie.
00:58:02We gotta get it back.
00:58:04After all we did for him, he loses it?
00:58:06I can't believe he did that, Jess.
00:58:08I mean, I've never met anyone, so we're responsible.
00:58:11You know, I risked my license.
00:58:12Charlie!
00:58:19Yeah.
00:58:20Uh, Bill. Bill Towner, electrician.
00:58:22Uh, Jesse McLaughlin.
00:58:23Nice to meet you, Jesse.
00:58:24A young lady called, said you needed some work done.
00:58:26She did, huh? Oh, right.
00:58:27What is it, a fuse box down there in the basement?
00:58:29Uh, listen, Bill, um, I'm sorry to trouble you,
00:58:32but this really isn't the right time.
00:58:33Hey, it's all right, Jess.
00:58:34I'm not gonna get in your way.
00:58:35You just, uh, show me what needs fixing.
00:58:37This is quite a room you got here.
00:58:39Yeah, very, very nice.
00:58:42It's a weird fireplace, huh?
00:58:43Yeah, uh, Bill?
00:58:44Uh, Bill.
00:58:46What do we got in here?
00:58:47Ah, there it is.
00:58:50Fremont 240.
00:58:51These old houses are loaded with them.
00:58:53So, uh, is this the room you're having problems here with, Jess?
00:58:56Uh, yeah, all along this wall, uh, but the rest of the house is fine.
00:58:59Yeah, I wouldn't worry about that, Jess.
00:59:02Didn't look too valuable.
00:59:07Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just as I had expected.
00:59:11Jess, you got a problem here.
00:59:13But, uh, hey, like with any problem, you know,
00:59:15you don't want to go to get the best of you.
00:59:16You know, I've been working on these houses for about 20 years now,
00:59:20and I've seen enough tragedy and disaster
00:59:22to make you want to upchuck in your shorts.
00:59:24You see, these old houses, they, uh,
00:59:27they just got minds of their own, you know,
00:59:28and you just got to teach them who's boss.
00:59:31You know, sort of give them a spanking.
00:59:33Huh, must be foreign made.
00:59:36Well, I'm going to fix this old house up for you, Jess,
00:59:39just like it's brand spanking new.
00:59:40What is that?
00:59:57Shh.
01:00:04Uh-huh.
01:00:08Oh.
01:00:10What, what, what, what do you hear?
01:00:20Ah, Jess.
01:00:21Jess, Jess, Jess, Jess.
01:00:22It's not good.
01:00:23Ah, I've seen this before,
01:00:24and it's always made my adenoids curdle.
01:00:28Oh, hey, don't monkey with those switches, Jess.
01:00:30It'll blow us both to Milwaukee.
01:00:33Eh, it's touch and go from here, pal.
01:00:35Could go either way, Jess.
01:00:36Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Jess.
01:00:38I'm going to, uh, step into my office here for a second.
01:00:40Eh, listen, buddy, uh,
01:00:42I like to be alone with my work,
01:00:45so if you don't mind...
01:00:48You got something to do?
01:00:49Sure.
01:00:50Go do it, buddy.
01:00:51Go do it.
01:00:53Go do it.
01:00:55Nice kid.
01:00:55Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
01:01:25Oops.
01:01:45Weird.
01:01:55You see anything?
01:02:01Forget it.
01:02:03I'm not going up there, Gramps.
01:02:05He's gonna get his own damn skull.
01:02:07Come on, Charlie. Gramps said they weren't here,
01:02:09so don't wimp out on me. Hey, buddy!
01:02:11Oh, scared you, huh?
01:02:15Relax. Oh, God, Bill, are you all right?
01:02:17Yeah, fine, fine, fine.
01:02:19Who is this?
01:02:21Uh, Bill. Bill Towner. Electrician?
01:02:23Charlie Coriel. Entrepreneur.
01:02:27Uh, uh, listen, fellas,
01:02:29we got a little problem in the other room.
01:02:31I think you'd better come have a look.
01:02:33Uh, look, Bill, I'm sorry, but this really isn't a good time.
01:02:35Why don't you pack it up and come back tomorrow?
01:02:37Uh, I think we'd better go in the other room and have a look.
01:02:47Well,
01:02:49there it is.
01:02:53Looks like you got some kind of alternate universe in there or something.
01:02:57Thanks.
01:02:59Come on, Charlie.
01:03:01Guess I'm next.
01:03:03You just put any spiders in there?
01:03:05Because, you know, I really...
01:03:07You coming, Charlie?
01:03:09Hey, uh, I don't know you guys.
01:03:11Look, that's an alternate dimension in there or something, and, uh...
01:03:15Incredible.
01:03:17Well, hold on a second.
01:03:19Will you...
01:03:21Uh, I've been through this kind of thing before.
01:03:23Just don't touch anything till I get there.
01:03:27Looks like you're gonna need the help.
01:03:29A professional.
01:03:31You got a flashlight?
01:03:33Yeah.
01:03:37You got a flashlight?
01:03:38Yeah.
01:03:39You know something?
01:03:41I'm incredibly scared right now.
01:03:43Don't be a fag, okay?
01:03:45Shh!
01:03:46Listen.
01:03:47I think it's coming from over there.
01:03:49Good boy.
01:03:50I'm a clown.
01:03:51I'm gonna get that, I'm gonna get it.
01:03:52But, how the hell would you expand the probe?
01:03:53I would take that, I'd be a fool.
01:03:54You're going to get it.
01:03:55I'd see you again soon.
01:03:56I'd be in trouble.
01:03:57I'd be in trouble.
01:03:58You're gonna get it..
01:03:59I'm getting away.
01:04:00Okay, I'd be in trouble.
01:04:01I just like you'll be in trouble.
01:04:02You know something?
01:04:05I'm incredibly scared right now.
01:04:07Don't be a fag, okay?
01:04:10Shh!
01:04:11Listen.
01:04:12I think it's coming from over there.
01:04:15I think it's coming from over there.
01:04:16There it is.
01:04:30Well, it's not going to be easy.
01:04:42They're not going to sacrifice it, are they?
01:04:44Hey, Jess, now, is she a virgin?
01:04:47Because I've never seen one before.
01:04:48She's really mad at my man.
01:04:50I'm going to lie. I'm going to lie.
01:04:52I'm going to lie.
01:04:53Hey!
01:04:54No!
01:04:56No!
01:04:59Poor boy.
01:05:01Hi.
01:05:02Well, hey, hey, come on, come on.
01:05:05Well, I'm sorry.
01:05:06We thought she was somebody that we knew.
01:05:08Go ahead, enjoy. It's okay.
01:05:10Hey.
01:05:13Watch this.
01:05:20Watch this.
01:05:28Let's go!
01:05:35Oh, I'm mean, huh?
01:06:05Thank you!
01:06:19Come on, come on! Get her out of here!
01:06:35Come on, get out of here. I'll hold you up.
01:06:49I don't remember which way.
01:06:51Just follow the street.
01:06:55Don't worry about me.
01:06:57I gotta get home. My kid's a little late night.
01:07:05Where's Bill? I don't see him!
01:07:10Come on!
01:07:16Hey, Bill! All right!
01:07:18Oh, Charlie, good to see you back. I started to get a little concerned here.
01:07:22Hey, hey, Bill, what are you doing here?
01:07:24You know, you guys throw one heck of a party.
01:07:26And, uh, I'd really like to thank you for inviting me along.
01:07:29Uh, uh, Jess?
01:07:31It's been a pleasure.
01:07:33Uh, and, miss, uh, it was a pleasure to meet you.
01:07:39Oh, and, uh, Jess, listen, if you need any more work done,
01:07:42just give me a call there, huh?
01:07:44Take care, Charlie.
01:07:46See ya.
01:07:50Who was that man?
01:07:52Well, where the hell is the food?
01:08:04Uh, I'll go check.
01:08:06Ann, tell him we're starving.
01:08:10You know, I've been watching her, and she really likes you.
01:08:14Seriously, she likes you.
01:08:16Come on, Charlie.
01:08:17Hmm, I'm serious.
01:08:19Watch.
01:08:20Who do you like better?
01:08:23Me or him?
01:08:26Me, Charlie, fun, you know, crazy guy, nut, huh, or him?
01:08:31Or him.
01:08:38I rest my case, Jess.
01:08:40Ow!
01:08:44All right.
01:08:45Well, if, uh, everybody's hungry, just, uh, dig in while the tussle.
01:08:48Uh, Jess, uh, shouldn't we say grace, you know, say a few nice words about God or whatever.
01:08:53Um...
01:08:59Oh, well, all right, uh, I guess I'd just like to thank everyone for their special contribution to the meal.
01:09:09And to say that I guess I think of all of you as all my family now.
01:09:20That was well put, son.
01:09:22Now let's eat.
01:09:24Yuck, yuck.
01:09:26Peek!
01:09:35The evil one!
01:09:36The evil one!
01:09:44The evil one, the evil one.
01:09:49The evil one!
01:09:51You low-down weasel. I've been waitin' for you.
01:10:04Long time, partner.
01:10:12Johnny!
01:10:14He's mine.
01:10:17I knew you'd catch up with me sooner or later.
01:10:41Gramps!
01:10:43Bits!
01:10:47Charlie!
01:11:07After all this time...
01:11:09...he got me.
01:11:15You're gonna need this.
01:11:22He's the one that killed your mind, Pa.
01:11:25Good boy.
01:13:25Oh, my God.
01:13:33Charlie!
01:13:35Charlie!
01:13:36I'm going to kill you!
01:13:55I'm going to kill you!
01:14:25I'm going to kill you!
01:14:55I'm going to kill you!
01:15:25I'm going to kill you!
01:15:55I'm going to kill you!
01:16:25I'm going to kill you!
01:16:54I'm going to kill you!
01:16:55I'm going to kill you!
01:16:56I'm going to kill you!
01:16:57I'm going to kill you!
01:16:58I'm going to kill you!
01:16:59I'm going to kill you!
01:17:01I'm going to kill you!
01:17:02I'm going to kill you!
01:17:03I'm going to kill you!
01:17:04I'm going to kill you!
01:17:05I'm going to kill you!
01:17:06I'm going to kill you!
01:17:07I'm going to kill you!
01:17:08I'm going to kill you!
01:17:11I'm going to kill you!
01:17:12Oh!
01:17:42Now it's mine!
01:18:02What the hell's going on in there, man?
01:18:32You can't leave!
01:19:02Hold your fire!
01:19:06Did you blow his head off?
01:19:29That's a good boy.
01:19:38I thought for sure he'd kick your ass.
01:19:41But I didn't let on, though, did I, son?
01:19:48No.
01:19:49No, you didn't, Grants.
01:19:50This is it, kid.
01:19:57No, you're not gonna die.
01:19:59The skull's right here.
01:20:03Oh, it don't make no difference no more, son.
01:20:14I've done all I can do in this world.
01:20:20And it's time to move on.
01:20:22No.
01:20:23No, don't.
01:20:24You get what you want from this old skull.
01:20:31I got something real special.
01:20:36I got to meet my great-great-grandson and had a hell of a time.
01:20:49You figure what you want.
01:20:52You didn't get rid of the goddamn thing.
01:20:58No.
01:20:59No.
01:21:00No.
01:21:01No.
01:21:02Come on.
01:21:03Come on, Grants.
01:21:04Hold on.
01:21:05Hold on, Grants.
01:21:06Hold on, Grants.
01:21:07I love you, Grants.
01:21:08I love you, Grants.
01:21:09I love you, too, Jesse.
01:21:38Jesse.
01:21:39This is your last chance.
01:21:40Unit 5, please.
01:21:41Come out with your hands up.
01:21:42I'm going to count to ten, and then we're coming in firing.
01:21:47One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, ten, ten.
01:22:08Takever.
01:22:09One meh.
01:22:10One...
01:22:12Takeover.
01:22:17One...
01:22:21Take care!
01:22:30One...
01:22:34Good win.
01:22:35Ah!
01:22:36Takeover!
01:22:37That's right here!
01:22:53The house is going to send a fire truck.
01:23:02Keep firing!
01:23:03I know!
01:23:04Everyone's firing!
01:23:07.
01:23:26.
01:23:30.
01:23:32.
01:23:34Where are you?
01:23:37Where are you?
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