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  • 3 months ago
First broadcast 31st May 1997.

A teenage girl who loves 1970s rock music goes to visit her idol.

Ralph Brown - Roy Pilgrim
Heather-Jay Jones - Tracy Cook (as Heather Jones)
Geraldine Alexander - Francine Faraday
Vince Leigh - Sergeant (as Vincent Leigh)
Caroline Loncq - Sheena
Caroline Quentin - Maddy Magellan
Alan Davies - Jonathan Creek
Radvic Nekich - Greg
Del Henney - Inspector Gibbins
James Degazio - Toby Flowers
Mel Cobb - Jacob Flowers
Christine Moore - Polly Flowers
Lou Sexty - Jerry
Hank Wangford - Glenn McArthur
Rob Jarvis - Tex
Colin McPhillamy - Vet (as Collin Johnson)
Michael Sarne - Martin Crow (as Mike Sarne)
David Riley - Newsreader
Jonathan Cake - Hippy protestor
Chris Hainstock - Policeman
Sandy Johnson - Paramedic
John Major - Self (archive footage)

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00Redding Rock Festival 1979 is deliriously thrilled and delighted to welcome the holy trinity of Edwin Drood.
00:18On electric fiddle, the legendary Roy Pilgrim.
00:30The signs of sleep are lost, the old perfumes are far too late.
00:35Attitude no man can speak, but this wild heart will is weak.
00:39I'm a proper devil's dust, there's no saving!
00:45When our dreams have shed, their shades are filled with the seed.
01:01And the pain is free, and no destiny is decreed.
01:05In the doom of dawn, the dawns of death are shaping!
01:18In the doom of dawn!
01:23In the doom of dawn!
01:27In the doom of dawn!
01:57In the doom of dawn!
01:59Oh, sweet!
02:00In the doom of dawn!
02:01I don't think we should be sure to stand in any moment,
02:04Their hands are always present!
02:06In the doom of dawn!
02:07The crash!
02:09Oh, man!
02:10Oh, man!
02:11Yeah!
02:12Yeah!
02:13That's what we do!
02:14Oh!
02:15Yeah!
02:16Oh, man!
02:20Oh, man!
02:21Yeah!
02:22Oh, man!
02:23Yeah!
02:24Oh, man!
02:25Oh!
02:26Are you sure you know where you're going?
02:29I'll be fine.
02:56I'll be fine.
03:26I'll be fine.
03:56I'll be fine.
04:26I'll be fine.
04:56I'll be fine.
05:25I'll be fine.
05:55I'll be fine.
05:56He should be in.
05:57He's expecting me at nine.
05:58What's this all about?
06:02Roy?
06:04Roy?
06:05In here.
06:06What the hell's happened to you?
06:17Got a crack on the back of the head.
06:20I thought they'd gone and one of them caught me from behind the rifle to safe and then cuffed
06:27me to this thing so I couldn't raise the alarm.
06:30I think you're going to need a hacksaw.
06:33Before we go into this, there's another matter I have to ask you about concerning a young legend.
06:40What kind of sick games have you been playing here?
06:46How many of you saw this girl?
06:47How many of you saw this girl?
06:53And where is she now?
06:54Her mother's out of her mind with worry.
06:56Is who?
06:57The pretty little thing you invited round for tea and crumpets.
07:01Oh, don't pull that innocent routine.
07:04Why do you think the police are here?
07:06Francine, look at the faintest clue.
07:09Mr Pilgrim, can you tell us where you were at 4 o'clock yesterday afternoon?
07:16Is this a joke?
07:19I haven't moved from this spot for 20 hours.
07:23I'm not Harry Houdini.
07:25Someone trying to be funny?
07:27There's nothing funny about a missing person, Mr Pilgrim.
07:31We know she left home yesterday morning for this address.
07:35It appears now she was seen by six eyewitnesses entering your house through this door
07:40at 4 o'clock as the school bus was arriving.
07:46Someone's putting you on.
07:47Mr Pilgrim, a straight answer to the question, please.
07:50Did you let a 16-year-old girl named Tracy Cook into this house yesterday afternoon?
07:56Look, I don't know what you guys are playing at, but let's lay this to rest now.
08:00I've been sat here staring at these four walls since midday yesterday
08:06till the moment you just arrived.
08:08And on my granny's grave, no-one has come in through those French windows.
08:13Okay, so if your friend in the back could just stick an old sock in it this time?
08:27Perhaps we could try and get this one on our own.
08:29Just to give the illusion that we've got a brain between us.
08:31Okay. Go.
08:33At the post box, look fore and aft to see the sea, what year does it appear to be?
08:39Oh, fore and aft.
08:41So it's in front of us and behind us.
08:43Right, to see the sea.
08:46Tough one.
08:48To see the sea, what year does it appear to be?
08:52Fore and aft.
08:54Oh, there's a sea on this pub sign.
08:57What year does it appear to be?
09:02Well, the building looks Jacobean.
09:05What's that?
09:06Early 17th century?
09:08Too vague.
09:10Anyway, it's sideways on, so it doesn't work.
09:12Right.
09:13What seas are there then?
09:15Red sea.
09:16Black sea.
09:18Black sea.
09:19Dead sea.
09:20Irish sea.
09:21What year does it appear to be?
09:24All right, what's the answer?
09:311983.
09:32Why?
09:33See that old voxel back there?
09:38And as you look forwards and backwards at it at the same time.
09:43Oh!
09:44Eh, Reg?
09:451983.
09:46Well, how do they expect absolutely anybody in the whole wide world to get that?
10:04Another miracle.
10:05And you see, it was all done with mirrors.
10:08Er, Greg, if you're planning to open your legs any wider, will you let me know?
10:13I'll just get out of the car.
10:15Oh!
10:16Oh!
10:17Oh.
10:18Oh!
10:19Oh!
10:20Oh!
10:21Oh!
10:22Oh!
10:23Oh!
10:24Oh!
10:25Oh!
10:26Oh!
10:27Oh!
10:28Oh!
10:29Oh!
10:30Oh!
10:31Oh!
10:32Oh!
10:33Hello?
10:34Yes.
10:35Just done clue 24, I'm afraid.
10:37Oh, yes, I know.
10:38It's desperately boring.
10:40Yes, I know, it's desperately boring. Thanks to Abracadabra in the back, I should be finished by half-past.
10:47Okey-dokey. See you in the pub. Bye, babe.
10:50I've already bum-banned it on my table. Pull back, you little...
11:01She's mad as is... bitch!
11:10If she calls me Abracadabra once more, I may go berserk with that emery board.
11:23File down her face till it resembles a hard-boiled egg.
11:26Don't let her rattle you, it's just Sheena's way. I think she quite likes you, actually.
11:30I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed sharing the back seat with Mr Biceps,
11:34who expands like a gas to fill any available space.
11:37I could feel the pulse in his thigh right through my trousers.
11:40Will you lighten up and make the effort? She's my best friend.
11:47So, basically, that's what you do.
11:49You sit at home all day and think up conjuring tricks.
11:54Amazingly pointless.
11:57And what's the deal between you and Madeline?
12:00I mean, is it, like, the serious passion time here?
12:04Just how far into your world is she allowed to go?
12:08I mean, have you showed her your magic wand yet?
12:11Or...
12:12Wedding!
12:13You've got some nerve, Ron.
12:14You're just not real. This whole thing's not real!
12:17Hello. That was Tiff.
12:19Oh, thanks, Trevor.
12:21That's the little cow that carved me up on the bend.
12:24I've got other things on her mind, obviously.
12:27Okay.
12:28You want me to believe you've changed?
12:31You'll never change, Roy.
12:33And that's it.
12:35If I don't get a chance, I'm condemned before I start.
12:37Six eyewitnesses watched her walk into your house.
12:40Look, it's a conspiracy.
12:42I don't know. They were all bought off.
12:44Six schoolboys, Roy.
12:46Francine, I had nothing to do with her.
12:48I never touched her. I never saw her.
12:49For God's sake, just leave!
12:52Don't contaminate my life!
12:56Whoops-a-daisy.
13:02Go on.
13:04Took it down the drain.
13:05Show what you think of her.
13:08Aww.
13:10Still loves EC.
13:12Probably just wants to get the money back.
13:16Are you all blind?
13:19What's your problem?
13:21Can't you see who that is, that guy?
13:24Who?
13:26Who? That is Roy Pilgrim.
13:30You are kidding me!
13:34No!
13:36Who's Roy Pilgrim?
13:38Roy Pilgrim?
13:42Edwin Drood?
13:43Oh!
13:45Oh, my God.
13:47You probably liked them, did you?
13:49They were in the vanguard of progressive rock,
13:52right through the 70s and the 80s.
13:54They produced some seminal stuff.
13:56That's a polite way of describing them.
13:58I suppose you were into Percy's sledge.
14:01Ah! Now you're talking.
14:03Percy.
14:04We loved Percy.
14:05We loved him so much.
14:07We loved him not quite as much, though, as he hoped.
14:11It's a little too cute.
14:12What?
14:14Oh, dear.
14:16Sorry, mate.
14:20Oh, dear.
14:22Oh, dear.
14:24Oh, dear.
14:26Oh, dear.
14:28Oh, dear.
14:30Oh, dear.
14:32Oh, dear.
14:33I know, I've just seen it.
14:38Kids will tell you anything to be part of the story.
14:41Maybe they saw... I don't know what they saw.
14:45Appearances can be deceptive.
14:46Right enough, Mr Pilgrim.
14:48Despite the appearance of something in those trousers,
14:51you haven't got a leg to stand on.
14:52And you haven't got a case.
14:54I can't help noticing you've taken my house to pieces
14:55and scored a big fat zero.
14:57Mr Pilgrim, you...
14:58You're only good with these.
15:03You say that you never left the room from about midday onwards?
15:08Sure, when I'm plumbed into the central heating system.
15:11You don't think you could have passed out again for a minute?
15:14Fallen asleep?
15:16Thanks.
15:17I didn't pass out.
15:18I was wide awake for the next eight, nine hours till it got dark.
15:21I mean, I knew I was stuck there
15:22till Francine arrived in the morning, so I used the time.
15:26I wrote three songs just to get my mind off my bladder.
15:30And at four o'clock?
15:31From three to four, I'm listening to classic FM,
15:33so that definitely fixes the time.
15:35At four o'clock, they went into Vivaldi,
15:37so I switched it off, went back to the words.
15:39I mean, what do you do?
15:41I'm staring right at the window
15:42where she's supposed to have come in.
15:45Did you write a letter to this girl
15:46inviting her to come and meet you on Monday afternoon?
15:48Why am I going to do that?
15:50She was young, attractive.
15:52She'd send your photos in a fan mail.
15:54You're sick.
15:56And what you're suggesting is sick.
15:58Oh, and what am I suggesting, Mr Pilgrim?
16:00That Tracy Cook came to meet a lifelong hero
16:02and found you wanted to give her more than your autograph?
16:05That it all got very nasty in ways I don't like to think about?
16:09And that afterwards, to give yourself an alibi,
16:11you cooked up all this guff about burglars and radiators?
16:15For God's sake, like I told your colleague before you arrived,
16:17the only thing that came in through those French windows was a frog.
16:22Now, if I notice that, I'm hardly going to...
16:24What do you mean?
16:26A little green frog with a red belly.
16:29What do you mean, told our colleague before we arrived?
16:36I...
16:36never said I was the police.
16:41I just said I'd like some help with my inquiries.
16:44You're not this gentleman's legal advisor?
16:47Legal advisor?
16:48Legal advisor?
17:14NOBODY useful visit.
17:14FLORENCE
17:36Hi.
17:36Hi.
17:38In here, I'm cooking.
17:44What's the matter with you?
17:46No, I was just reminded of that quote by Robert Oppenheimer.
17:49I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.
17:52I overdid the crouton slightly, that'd be funny.
17:54I overdid the crouton slightly, it's like Gandhi's funeral pyre in here.
17:58Yes, now you've put the gas out, thank you very much.
18:01I was getting on fine till you arrived.
18:06This lightness of touch you have in the kitchen is a joy to behold.
18:13So, tell me about Pilgrim, is he capable of murder?
18:17And I've heard him sing, obviously.
18:19I don't get it.
18:21We've got six witnesses, all saw her go in at four o'clock.
18:25Now, if that's right, he hasn't got a prayer.
18:28And yet he swears blind he was in the room all afternoon fully conscious,
18:32and saw no one.
18:34He's either very stupid or very devious.
18:37Or neither.
18:38What do you mean?
18:39Well, maybe the reason he's sticking to his story is because it's true.
18:42Is that supposed to be doing that?
18:45Two more minutes.
18:46What do you mean true?
18:47A girl can't vanish into thin air while walking through a pair of French...
18:56Do you know that?
18:58I never know when you're winding me up.
19:00That's the trouble.
19:01Now, do you want to pick us that bottle or something?
19:04Any particular one?
19:09What's this?
19:12Oh, petrol.
19:14Petrol?
19:15Well, I'm not going to leave it in the car overnight.
19:18Things get nicked.
19:19I'll put it out in the hall, shall I?
19:22The canisters of napalm.
19:26So this is the guy, you reckon?
19:31Jacob Flowers, who stuck the note under my wiper.
19:33What's his connection with Pilgrim?
19:35You heard of an American cult called the Creed of Eden?
19:38Family love, no.
19:39Well, don't ask me what they're into, some kind of eco-religious thing.
19:43The world is God's garden, all life is sacred.
19:46It's easier for a rich man to enter a camel if he stands on a box.
19:50Well, this character is their grand prophet and founding father.
19:54And if you know your history of rock music...
19:56Intimately.
19:57Then you'll know it was during Edwin Drood's tour of the States in July 87
20:01that Roy Pilgrim became a disciple of the Order,
20:05leading effectively to the break-up of the group
20:08and some fairly deadly solo albums about rainforests and dolphins.
20:14So, Flowers is going to stick up for Pilgrim because they're buddies.
20:19Or maybe you know something else about all this,
20:22that we don't scrape that off.
20:24It's meant to be that colour. It's Cajun.
20:27Blackened catfish.
20:29Looks more like halibut to me.
20:31Blackened halibut, then. How to improvise.
20:34Have less of the pedanticism and just eat.
20:41The world is pedantry.
20:51No, Mr Danzig, a trifle baffling won't do.
20:53A trifle baffling doesn't get near it.
20:55My bride-to-be slushed me down the toilet.
20:58I'm looking at charges of abduction and possibly murder,
21:00and all because I wasn't smart enough to line my way out of this thing
21:02when it really mattered.
21:04And they can put the entire cast of Goodbye Mr Chips on the witness stand,
21:07but it doesn't change what I saw.
21:09If you're any kind of lawyer, you'd better start getting your...
21:14Look, I'll call you back.
21:16That's the one, then.
21:19Could hardly miss her from here.
21:21So, when she pressed this bell,
21:25someone must have let her in.
21:29What are you doing?
21:31I need to check it out.
21:33I can't go in there.
21:34Why not?
21:35Roy Pilgrim?
21:39I can't meet Roy Pil...
21:41You're talking about mythology.
21:44You reduce someone like that to flesh and blood.
21:46The whole thing's destroyed.
21:48The whole icon.
21:50Jonathan, you're beginning to sound like a prat.
21:54Sorry.
21:55What does it take to make you go away?
21:57Look, I'm sorry about yesterday,
21:59but I'm really quite interested in helping you, actually.
22:02If you just take a minute to let us in.
22:05What are you?
22:06Right now, Mr Pilgrim?
22:08We're the only hope you've got.
22:15The white room.
22:17I'm standing in the white room.
22:20The white room.
22:22Yes, it's certainly white, all right, no question.
22:26The white room's like a chamber of contemplation.
22:30That's where I try and centre myself creatively.
22:35And the actual Bandawi Bushcats.
22:42Utterly amazing.
22:45Hand-carved speaker cabinets presented by the Gambian percussionist Josh Bandawi in...
22:52What year were you over there?
22:541973.
22:56I think you'll find it was 76.
23:00Because tribal jam didn't hit the charts until early 77.
23:06Well, we were in Zaire in 76.
23:09No.
23:10He was deported from Zaire in May 75.
23:15After Martin Crow rode into the president's jacuzzi on a wildebeest.
23:20Mad as a light bulb.
23:22Yeah.
23:23Um, I don't suppose you see much of the others now, do you?
23:28Since the old firm split up.
23:29The band was always riven by petty factionalism.
23:33I lived with those guys for 15 years.
23:36That's 15 years too long.
23:38And then came the Creed of Eden.
23:40That's been quite a crusade for you.
23:42I tried to follow my conscience.
23:47Uh, Jacob Flowers seems to be on your side.
23:50He left a little note on my windscreen.
23:52Well, they have a commune about 20 minutes away.
23:55Hogsbelly Farm.
23:57I've been a kind of, uh, patron for them.
24:01I guess he's as rattled about all this as I am.
24:04Hello, is that one o'clock?
24:07I've got to record the Waltons.
24:09The Waltons?
24:11What have you found, something clever?
24:14The gateway to a parallel dimension.
24:15The Waltons?
24:16Jonathan, the French windows.
24:32What?
24:33What do you want me to say, they're French windows?
24:36The people walking them out of?
24:39of. The blinds are Venetian blinds and the floor is just a floor. What?
24:55No, it's just the way these figures are slightly faded. You see down here,
25:02they're faded on the wrong side, surely. This pair of speakers, Mr Pilgrim, they get moved
25:16about very often. Never. They were positioned like that for perfect balance fifteen years
25:20ago. Why do you ask? I could be wrong. It looks to me as if someone's recently swapped them
25:29round. Well, I don't know. I mean, it's just too incredible for words. Roy Pilgrim watches
25:43the waters. But does that make him a murderer? Here, you can navigate. Okay. I thought we'd
25:52pay a visit to Hontebelli Farm.
25:59Good afternoon. Hi. My name's... Madeline, Roy. We've been expecting you. Toby Flowers.
26:24Guess you got me the note from my uncle, huh? Well, it did intrigue me. Oh, this is
26:31my friend, Jonathan. Jonathan, hi. You're a journalist too? More in the way of a technical
26:37advisor, aren't you? On this business with the missing girl. It's the weirdest thing,
26:42isn't it? She could have walked in through that window and then somehow never arrived the
26:47other side. Spooky, kind of. Wouldn't you say? Now, you want to come with me? I know my
26:57Uncle Jacob and Aunt Polly are keen to see you. They're just up ahead, bonding with the trees.
27:02And up. And up. And down. Circling and caressing the trunk with your trunk.
27:14And if you feel you want to lick or nibble the bark, don't be afraid to do that. Let the love flow from
27:27your body, rhythmically into the tree, down through the roots, into the earth. Remember,
27:35the tree will get as much pleasure from this as you will. Do you do this sort of thing regularly,
27:43then? Since I met Jacob 18 years ago now. It's a really liberating experience. Especially for
27:49Polly, who grew up in East London. Really? Which part? Barking or Ireland? Quite close. I've never seen
27:56anyone get that friendly with a knot hole before. Someone's grounds for divorce. Have you ever been up
28:02an oak tree, Jonathan? It's true. We all owe a tremendous debt to Roy Pilgrim. This whole
28:10estate, everything you see here is down to his support and generosity. He was the greatest benefactor
28:19you could ask for. How do you mean was? I won't pretend this new fiancée of his was devoted
28:27to our cause, Francine Faraday. She runs a small investment consultancy somewhere, so she's
28:35probably in need of spiritual enlightenment. So what are you saying? She was leading him
28:41off the straight and narrow? It's for Roy to choose his own destiny. We were just glad that
28:46he'd find a relationship that works for him. But now, with all these rumours flying around...
28:51If you can shed any light on all this, Madeline, to clear Roy's name, believe me, your efforts
28:58won't go unrewarded. And we're not talking about money here. Come with me. I want to show
29:04you something.
29:05We've got four more on the way back home. Yes, sir. I want to show you something.
29:31We've got four more on the way back home. In Utah, Wyoming, Maine, and New Mexico. Because
29:38the day will come. Make no mistake about that. And I'll make you a promise. Help Roy, and there'll
29:48be two seats waiting for you on the journey to the new world.
29:54No way! What, like an ark as in Noah? I'm sorry, I don't believe you. I don't believe
30:05me, and I was there. I mean, seriously, potty people. I can't tell you. So what do the police
30:10think? That he did her in, basically. And he's just going to bluff it out until they find
30:14the body. If they find the body. I thought it was all down to Marvo the Mystic here. What
30:22happened? Your special powers desert you all of a sudden? He did find something, actually,
30:27didn't you? There's two funny speaker cabinets just inside the door. They've been switched
30:31round, you reckon? Because that's where he'd hidden her. After he saw her in home. No?
30:37All right, then. Why would you deliberately swap round a couple of hi-fi speakers? That's
30:44the question. That's not the question. What do you mean? Fairly obviously you wouldn't.
30:52So, what's the point? None whatsoever, I should think. All right, you've lost me. I think
31:02what he's saying is it could be accidental. Consider it this way round. Someone comes
31:09into Pilgrim's house and, for whatever reason, removes a pair of identical-looking speakers
31:13from the white room. Later on, they return them, and because they look very much the same
31:17as one another, they put them back the wrong way round. But who would steal a pair of speakers
31:26and then just put them back again? A very honest burglar? Better split, I think. Adam said
31:39he might call later from Vegas, sir. I thought I'd check out those other band members tomorrow,
31:44then what's it? If I get anything, I'll ring you. See you around, Sheena.
31:51There you are. What are the lines that comes out of
32:02that section? JJ. Yup.
32:05What kind of friends when she came going at you? I'd be able to, you know,
32:15I was at a outside station with the gravy area and I was a man, if you know,
33:19You know, the money-grabbing son of a bitch with a vengeance.
33:22It's a starting point.
33:24We were young. We just wanted to play the best rock and roll in the world.
33:27We weren't businessmen.
33:29Edwin Drew became a fundraising charity for our management and record companies.
33:33Roy, because he wrote all the songs, got a lot of sponsorship.
33:37And he was the one who cleaned up.
33:40Don't ask me how he did it. I've spent the last eight years trying to forget.
33:43Did you say extra answer, bitch? Because I couldn't remember.
33:45Mike said you did like what I could have sworn you just asked for.
33:48What's this? What's going on?
33:50Look, Tex, I'm really sorry, but...
33:53Jerry, who are these jokers? What's happening?
33:55Listen, there comes a time for the greater good of the band when...
34:00You've been replaced, is what he's trying to say, guys.
34:03These things happen.
34:04Replaced?
34:04We've only been gone for 20 minutes.
34:06Well, I mean, life moves on, you know.
34:08Can't we all stay cool about this?
34:10Stay cool?
34:11Yeah.
34:11You put together another line-up while we went for a pizza?
34:14This is unreal.
34:16Jerry, can you handle it for me?
34:18It was a tough decision. We needed fresh blood.
34:20Yeah, and you're going to get it.
34:21You're going to get it.
34:21Oh, please, please.
34:22Come on, guys.
34:30So, do you know about this fiancée of his, Francine Faraday?
34:36I can't say she struck me as Roy's type at all.
34:39More like a future mother-in-law.
34:41What do you mean by that?
34:44Who did you say you wrote for?
34:46I'm putting a book together with, like, major cases
34:49that the police have got horribly wrong.
34:53Well, if you want my opinion, you're wasting your time on this one.
35:00Thanks for your help.
35:06And, um, one of these a day.
35:21I think she'll be up tonight.
35:23Is this somewhere I can wash my hands?
35:25Sure, right inside in the kitchen.
35:26Toby?
35:47Toby?
35:48Oh, my God, what's happened?
35:49He appears to have been suffocated or choked or something.
35:56He broke on the police.
36:00There's something in there.
36:02What the hell is it?
36:19The reason for such vandalism is still a mystery.
36:35Detectives are investigating a bizarre Silence of the Lambs-style murder
36:40at Hogsbelly Farm near Whittlingford
36:42after the victim was found with a dead frog inserted in his windpipe.
36:45Thirty-year-old Toby Flowers was a member of the American religious sect
36:50The Creed of Eden,
36:51whose members include the rock star Roy Pilgrim,
36:54himself in the news this week
36:56in connection with the disappearance of teenager Tracy Cook.
37:01A school in New Sussex has hit the charts with inversion...
37:03Hi.
37:13It's a pig of a night out here.
37:18Before I became a puppet,
37:20I was a gynaecologist.
37:21I wanted to be a brain surgeon,
37:23but I wasn't tall enough.
37:25Here's another one.
37:26What is long
37:29and thin
37:31and sticky?
37:35A stick!
37:39Behold the impecunious rock legend.
37:43As you can see,
37:46performing is still my major source of income.
37:50I've got this reputation for instability
37:52which I could never get my head around.
37:55Don't want Marty Crow?
37:57No way.
37:58Don't want a drummer
38:02who urinates on the audience.
38:04Why not?
38:06Personal contact with the public?
38:08Very important.
38:10Roy Pilgrim.
38:12What type of women
38:13did he go for, would you say?
38:16Let's just say
38:17he wouldn't look at you
38:18if he thought you'd had too many.
38:21Drinks?
38:23Birthdays.
38:24Closer they were to the legal limit,
38:26better he liked them.
38:27Good old Roy.
38:28In those days,
38:29there were plenty around to like,
38:31believe me.
38:33That was then.
38:36His taste could have changed.
38:40Right.
38:40Hocus Pocus Junior.
38:58Hmm.
38:58I saw it in this old bookshop.
39:00I thought,
39:01what the hell?
39:02I'll pop it round.
39:04You didn't just pop it round.
39:05You drove 35 miles out of London
39:07to bring it here.
39:07Well,
39:09you weren't exactly hard to find.
39:13I mean,
39:13if it's no good to you.
39:15It's one of the classic texts
39:16of medieval magic.
39:19What do I owe you?
39:22What do you want to give me?
39:23Where's your other half tonight?
39:31Oh,
39:32I shudder to think.
39:34Whoever she is,
39:35she's got my sympathy.
39:36Sex for Greg
39:37is someone to talk to
39:37while you're doing your push-ups.
39:40If they could invent
39:40an exercise bike
39:41that said,
39:41God,
39:42that was wonderful.
39:43I think he'd propose.
39:44I really do.
39:44Yes,
39:46I've never met a man
39:47before his IQ
39:48was the same
39:48as his bra size.
39:50It's an interesting
39:50combinate.
39:53Help yourself
39:54to a sherry,
39:54by the way.
39:55Thanks.
40:00I've got a theory
40:01about those speakers,
40:03about why someone
40:04would take them
40:04out of the room.
40:07Hmm.
40:09He was hypnotised,
40:10right?
40:10Someone took
40:13the speakers away,
40:15rigged them up
40:15to play some recording
40:16that made him forget
40:18that he'd seen the girl
40:20come in through the window.
40:26Right.
40:28Involuntary hypnosis.
40:30Mm-hmm.
40:31Not quite sure
40:32Roy Pilgrim's the man
40:33to go under
40:33without a fight.
40:35And why would they
40:36need to do all that
40:37as opposed to just
40:37dangling a watch chain
40:38in front of his nose?
40:40Because
40:42they
40:43didn't do that at all.
40:48So what did they do?
40:51Why have you come here?
40:55Because I'm like you.
40:58Can't resist a puzzle.
41:05Let me into your mind.
41:08Sorry?
41:08Sorry.
41:10Lecture me.
41:19All right.
41:22Let's recap.
41:25Last Monday,
41:2716-year-old girl,
41:29Tracey Cook,
41:33calls around to visit
41:34her hero,
41:35rock star Roy Pilgrim.
41:37Half a dozen schoolboys
41:38see her walk in
41:39through the French windows
41:40at the back of the house
41:41into the white room.
41:44That's proven fact.
41:45It's beyond dispute.
41:47The exact same time,
41:48four o'clock,
41:50Pilgrim swears
41:50he was in the room,
41:52fully conscious,
41:53handcuffed to the radiator,
41:55and saw no one come in.
41:57His watch was wrong.
41:58He knew the time
42:01because he'd been listening
42:01to the radio.
42:03That's not the point.
42:04He says he was awake
42:05all afternoon.
42:07The only time
42:07he'd grabbed any sleep
42:09was during the night.
42:11So he has to be lying.
42:14Nothing else makes sense.
42:15But what he says
42:16makes even less sense.
42:18Why would he go to the trouble
42:19of making up a story like that?
42:20He could easily have said
42:21he wasn't in the house at all
42:22or he was in the room
42:23but he was still unconscious.
42:26No one could have proved otherwise.
42:28No, instead of that,
42:29he says the one thing
42:30that no jury in the world
42:31is going to believe.
42:32That no one came in
42:33through the door.
42:34Why?
42:35Because it's true.
42:37Both stories can't be true.
42:39It's impossible.
42:41Is it?
42:43Yes, it is.
42:45You've been there.
42:46You've inspected it.
42:47The police have inspected it.
42:49How can she just have
42:51vanished into the ether?
42:54Like some phantom or...
42:57What's the matter?
43:03You've got a frog in your throat?
43:07Go to heaven.
43:07Nothing could be further
43:08from my mind.
43:09BBC Greater London Radio
43:10with 2020 travel news
43:11from here in Scotland.
43:13Problems out to the west of...
43:19I'll get it.
43:25Back to normal.
43:27They've got that sort of
43:28really very quickly.
43:29If you do come across the queues,
43:30then they won't be there
43:31for much longer.
43:32But things there
43:33may be very good now.
43:35Can we do this?
43:40They're just lifting the barriers
43:41of the other path
43:42allowing everything to lift up.
43:44Jonathan Cree?
43:57Oh.
43:59Sorry.
44:01I know it's early.
44:02Did I wait you?
44:04No, that's fine.
44:07You well?
44:08I just wanted to bring you
44:10up to date on yesterday.
44:12My gut reaction now.
44:15He did it.
44:17All this thing about young girls.
44:21Seems to check out.
44:23I spoke to both his erstwhile buddies.
44:25They said the same thing.
44:27So, I know it looked promising,
44:31but I've got a feeling
44:33we should ditch it, probably.
44:35Barking up the wrong tree.
44:36Funnily enough,
44:38I've just come to the exact
44:40opposite conclusion.
44:42I draw your attention
44:43to page 197
44:45of the Observer's Book of Frogs.
44:58He's done nothing wrong!
45:00He's got no evidence!
45:02Nothing!
45:03With faith, Roy,
45:04trust in the Lord!
45:04You're vindictive fags!
45:06He's done nothing wrong!
45:09You'll go straight to hell!
45:11And you'll go straight down
45:12the nick any more of this!
45:14Sergeant,
45:14get those bloody lunatics
45:15down from there!
45:16Right, yeah.
45:17Come on, let's have the other view now.
45:18Come on.
45:19No, we're not going to have this.
45:20Get!
45:21You can't be there!
45:23Roy is innocent!
45:25What's happening?
45:33Has he been charged?
45:35Well, he's not in there
45:36to keep the seat warm.
45:38You want to speak to him?
45:39No, I just came to collect
45:40one or two things.
45:42Would that still be possible?
45:44The house is all yours.
45:44They've taken him
46:04as we knew they would.
46:06God help them!
46:08Without a shred of proof,
46:09of course.
46:10Where do we go from here?
46:11I think the back gate's
46:13as good a place as any.
46:41Yes, Miss Faraday?
47:00I was looking for my hairbrush.
47:03I used to keep...
47:05What is this?
47:06I thought you'd...
47:07Not quite, Miss Faraday.
47:08But never fear,
47:09and the rest will be made
47:10very shortly.
47:11Though it's six in the craw
47:13to admit the press
47:14had any hand in this,
47:16I'm afraid it's down
47:16to our friend here.
47:18We're now seeing this business
47:19in a new light.
47:24Well, go on.
47:25You're dying to tell them.
47:26Is she?
47:27Well, you can all stay to listen.
47:29I'm off.
47:30Yes, you don't tend to hang about,
47:32do you, Francine?
47:34Same as when your husband-to-be
47:35was suspected of murder.
47:37You were off like a bullet.
47:39So wonderful to have faith
47:40in the one you love.
47:41Oh, please.
47:43You think any woman alive
47:44would take his word for it
47:45after what happened?
47:47Well, of course they wouldn't.
47:49And that's exactly
47:50what you were banking on,
47:51Mr. and Mrs. Flowers,
47:54when you engineered
47:54this whole affair.
47:56I beg your pardon?
47:58Not mine to grant,
47:59unfortunately.
48:01I don't imagine a judge
48:02will be too lenient,
48:03either, after what you've done.
48:04We've stood full square
48:06behind Roy from the word go.
48:08Yes.
48:09I don't think believing
48:11in someone's innocence
48:12when you're the one
48:13that framed him
48:14quite counts as loyalty,
48:15does it?
48:17Why on earth
48:18would we want to frame Roy?
48:19To get rid of the one person
48:21who was a threat
48:22to your income.
48:24The logic of shelling out
48:26millions of pounds
48:27every year
48:27to people who had sex
48:28with trees
48:29was a bit lost on you,
48:30wasn't it?
48:31Roy's interest in the creed
48:32was on the wane.
48:34Of course,
48:35once you were married,
48:35Oh, dear.
48:38Serious cash flow problems.
48:40So,
48:41she had to be scared off.
48:44Sharpish.
48:45Are you saying
48:45this was like a trick
48:46to set me up?
48:49Like all the best tricks,
48:50it was blindingly simple
48:51in theory
48:53and fantastically elaborate
48:55in practice.
48:57But then to a bunch of people
48:58building an ark
48:58in their back garden,
49:00all things were possible.
49:05Staging the break-in
49:08and putting him out
49:09were the easy bit.
49:18An hour later,
49:19he comes round
49:20to find he's trapped
49:21inside the white room.
49:24Help!
49:28He remains fully conscious
49:29for the rest of the day,
49:31during which the only thing
49:32that comes to the door
49:33is a small,
49:34red-bellied frog.
49:43At the same time,
49:45a teenage girl,
49:46not noted for a frog-like appearance,
49:49is seen entering the door
49:51from the outside
49:51by a bunch of boys
49:52at the back gate.
49:54There's no way it adds up
49:56until you realise
49:58the whole thing
49:59was a classic piece
50:00of misdirection
50:01which relied upon us all
50:03making one very false
50:04assumption,
50:06that in both versions
50:07of events,
50:09we were talking
50:09about the same door.
50:17A shame you couldn't
50:18have followed that frog,
50:19Roy,
50:19as it hopped back outside.
50:21I think you'd have been
50:35impressed by the handiwork
50:36of the drones
50:36down at Hogsbelly Farm.
50:39God knows how long
50:40it took them
50:40to come up
50:40with an exact replica
50:41of the room
50:42down to every last detail,
50:43but I think we can assume
50:45months of planning
50:46and careful preparation
50:47when you went around.
50:48Sifting through
50:57the fan mail
50:58for a suitable candidate
50:59and forging the letter
51:01that would bring her here.
51:02Tracy Cook was instructed
51:16to call at the back gate
51:17at four o'clock
51:18because you knew
51:20there'd be plenty of witnesses
51:21then to watch her going in.
51:27Inside, I don't know,
51:28she's told there's a change of plan.
51:30Roy's going to meet her
51:31at the farm.
51:32Whatever,
51:33she's whisked off
51:33out the front
51:34to be hidden away somewhere.
51:36All this time,
51:38Roy's been sitting
51:38in what he thinks
51:39is his own back room
51:40jotting down songs.
51:42Of course,
51:43the one thing
51:43you couldn't duplicate
51:44was the hand-calf speakers
51:45from Africa,
51:47but that's no problem.
51:48You just took them with you.
51:51Finally,
51:52it gets dark.
51:53Roy nods off
51:54and that's when
51:56you pull the second switch,
51:58making sure
51:58he won't wake up
51:59on the way.
52:01And back he goes
52:14into his own room,
52:15along with the speaker cabinets,
52:17which we know
52:17ended up the wrong way round.
52:21As compromising set-ups go,
52:24it was a gem.
52:25The man's convicted
52:28by his own honesty
52:29while you lot
52:30leap about
52:31in his defence
52:32to keep the handouts coming.
52:34Well,
52:35you've got
52:35a colourful imagination.
52:38And you've got
52:39a colourful frog.
52:41Lots of them,
52:42we reckon.
52:44Where's your little book?
52:48Look familiar?
52:49The Anasazi river toad.
52:56Much prized
52:57by the Indians
52:58of New Mexico
52:58and many others
53:00for its narcotic secretions.
53:04Quickest way
53:05to get a fix,
53:06basically,
53:06is to put it
53:08in your mouth
53:08and suck.
53:09Being careful
53:10not to overdo it
53:11will you end up
53:13like poor old Toby.
53:14That's what
53:16joined it all up,
53:17I have to say.
53:18If these frogs
53:19were being bred
53:20on a commune
53:21at Hogsbelly Farm,
53:22how the hell
53:23did one of them
53:23appear at these
53:24French windows
53:25nearly 15 miles away?
53:27Unless it had gone
53:27for a very long walk
53:28or hitched a lift.
53:30There was only
53:31one explanation.
53:33It had never left
53:34the farm
53:34in the first place.
53:36And as ludicrous
53:37as it sounds,
53:38the window
53:39and the room
53:40and Roy Pilgrim
53:42had to be there
53:47as well.
53:51I'm sorry,
53:52I think my head
53:52may explode.
53:53I can't take this in.
53:57The lads are
53:57turning your place
53:59over even as we speak.
54:01You could save them
54:02time by telling us
54:02where she is.
54:07But what the hell?
54:08Let them have fun.
54:12Come on, look at all this.
54:30That looks so good.
54:31Come on, look at all this.
54:32That looks so good.
54:33Come on, look at all this.
54:47Come on, look at all this.
54:55Police!
54:56Police, police!
54:56Get down from there!
54:58Hey, come down this way.
55:01That's against the roof.
55:02Can we turn this down a bit?
55:32So what were they going to do, do you think? Just keep her locked up there indefinitely?
55:40Well, work on her mind. A couple of years, a bit of brainwashing.
55:45Should be one of them. Wouldn't be the first time.
55:48Anyway, thanks. Again.
55:52I'll talk to Barry about cutting you in on this book when it's done.
55:55What for?
55:57I don't expect you to help me for nothing.
56:01Fair enough, then.
56:02You'd take it as well, wouldn't you, you penny-pinching bastard?
56:08Do you know how much I make at the end of the day from all this?
56:10Not very much.
56:11Compared with some people.
56:13Compared with, say, a prostitute or something.
56:15But I'd rather do something I believe in, actually.
56:17And if you want my opinion, I think casual sex is a sign of a very shallow personality.
56:22But there we are.
56:26Have you been sucking a frog?
56:28I beg your pardon.
56:30You'd better hurry or you won't miss a train.
56:36I'd better hurry or I won't miss my train.
56:53What sort of gibberish is that?
56:54Jonathan, stop being clever for once and just go.
56:59I get it.
57:04That phone call you made to Sheena just before we got in the car, she told you that she spent
57:09last night at my place and now you've got the hump.
57:11Who's got the hump?
57:13Because you think we slept together.
57:14Jonathan, whether or not you and Sheena slept together is your business and her business.
57:25It's certainly none of my business.
57:27Quite frankly, I have no desire to even discuss the matter.
57:31So if I said I'd rather poke red-hot needles down my fingernails than poke she...
57:35It would be a matter of no consequence to me whatsoever.
57:39In fact, I find that extremely offensive and highly insulting to my best friend.
57:46Right.
57:49I'll see you around then.
57:51Yes.
57:51Turn it back on the best friend if he's put her down.
58:00We're the man of the woman.
58:06Spending every man's time.
58:09Time to hold on to what he needs.
58:14Yes!
58:14Yes!
58:21Yes!
58:30Yes!
58:32Yes!
58:33Yes!
58:34Yes!
58:38Yes!
58:41Yes!
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