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Shed & Buried Classic Cars Season 3 Episode 6
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Would you say that I'm quite good as an apprentice mechanic?
00:07Probably three out of ten.
00:09My English teacher's report, I'll never forget,
00:12a complete waste of his time and mine.
00:15Yeah, did you get a good report when you were at school?
00:18Some of the teachers liked me.
00:20The others, like my French teacher, really didn't like me,
00:23but I was all right at French.
00:25Were you? Bonjour and all that.
00:27My mind wasn't far off.
00:28Unlikely to achieve anything in his lifetime.
00:31That's a way to inspire children, isn't it?
00:37We're back!
00:38Oh, I'm loving this.
00:39Scouring Britain's sheds for classic cars.
00:42A thing of beauty.
00:43Proper special.
00:44Quintessential Brits.
00:46That's nice.
00:47A Lee Francis.
00:49American icons.
00:50Look at the amount of chrome on the front there.
00:53And continental curios.
00:55That is a Lancia Aprilia.
00:57We're going to buy them.
00:59Thank you so much.
01:00Fantastic, Ludo.
01:01Sort them.
01:02It's the sunroof.
01:03No, please, I'm getting out now.
01:05Drive them.
01:07And sell them for a tidy profit.
01:09Oh, we're in the money.
01:11This is Shed and Buried.
01:13Classic Cars.
01:14We're heading for a shed in Knotsford to meet one of Fuzz's old pals.
01:25We are going to meet Sam.
01:28She collects cars.
01:30Well, when I say collects cars, she buys them and then she drives them for a while, kind
01:35of thing.
01:36And then, when she's had enough of them, Knox Hill sells them on.
01:39Yeah.
01:40So what's she got then?
01:41Well, she has British cars.
01:43She has American cars.
01:44She likes European cars.
01:46Some French fancies.
01:47Yeah.
01:48Yeah.
01:49How fantastic is that?
01:50So that's her.
01:55Whether we come back with a French fancy, an American icon or a British bulldog, who knows?
02:01But Knotsford, here we come.
02:05Sam.
02:06Yes.
02:07No, I've got to, sorry.
02:08I've just got to say this straight off.
02:10Yes.
02:11Normally, shed dwellers are old geezers, right?
02:15It's just such a privilege to be about to go into your shed.
02:20Yeah.
02:21Thank you very much.
02:22How long have you been doing it?
02:23I'm a car dealer's daughter, so I've sort of been around them all my life.
02:26But I've been doing it on my own since 2018 without my dad.
02:29Have you?
02:30I love old American cars, yank tanks, so that's it.
02:34And old English, just interesting, quirky cars.
02:37Anything that's a little bit different, a little bit left field.
02:40I'm going to enjoy going around this.
02:42Besides that, it's lovely seeing you again, Sam.
02:44I know Sam.
02:45I knew Fuzz.
02:46What did you do?
02:47What did you work on?
02:48We worked together with an auction house that we were setting up at the time, and Fuzz
02:53came along and helped us.
02:54Seeing as you know each other so, is everything for sale?
02:56Yeah.
02:57Pretty much, yeah.
02:58I mean, that was my line.
03:00Fuzz knows me a long time.
03:01Everything's for sale, yeah.
03:02That was my line.
03:03Was it?
03:04Yeah.
03:05Yeah, I know, I know, mate.
03:06But you were going on about how you knew us, so I thought I'd just dive in quickly.
03:08Oh, all right.
03:09Okay.
03:10So look, we'll have a rummage.
03:11Yeah.
03:12And then, obviously, we'll call you in if we need more info on stuff.
03:15Yeah.
03:16And then we'll hopefully, well, we'll have a haggle.
03:19You know each other, so I'm sure we can get a nice deal going on here.
03:23You know what I mean?
03:24I'll stay out of it this time.
03:25Yeah.
03:26I'm not so sure about that.
03:27Anyway.
03:28Hey, look, we'll see you later, Sam.
03:29We'll get in there.
03:30Would you like a cup of tea?
03:31Oh, yeah.
03:32Oh, yes, please.
03:33Yeah.
03:34Thanks, Sam.
03:36Hang on.
03:37How does she know that?
03:38How does she know you?
03:39We've known each other for years.
03:43Sam's shed is as quirky and left-field as she promised, but we'll start with something
03:48very familiar, a tradesman's van.
03:51That's lovely stuff.
03:52Is it a Morris or is it an Austin?
03:55You used to see a lot of GPO vans and also post office vans, Morris Thousand type vans,
04:02that were badged as Austins.
04:04Don't know why.
04:05Maybe there was some sort of...
04:06You can tell by the grill, can't you?
04:08Yeah, that's right.
04:09The Austins have got the crinkly one.
04:11That's it.
04:12Exactly.
04:13What a lovely thing.
04:14Shall we go and have a look at something else?
04:18Oh, yeah.
04:19Now.
04:20Now then, what is Blue Sonoco?
04:22I don't know.
04:23Sonoco.
04:24Could almost be a song, couldn't it?
04:26Blue Sonoco.
04:27Blue Sonoco.
04:28I can't hear it.
04:29Have you finished singing?
04:30Yes.
04:31Alright, good.
04:32I think it might be an additive or something.
04:35As well as mystery signs, Sam's Automobilia collection includes cans.
04:40The other way.
04:41The other way.
04:42That's it.
04:43That's it.
04:44Look.
04:45There's a red X, a large red X one there.
04:46No, that is very nice.
04:47Garage paraphernalia.
04:49Cast your eyes downwards.
04:51Oh, Michelin.
04:52Those tyre pressure charts.
04:53And my favourite, a vintage petrol pump.
04:56They were called fat ladies.
04:58Yeah.
04:59Right, but obviously, belly pump, I think, is a better option.
05:02Do you call it Fat Henry's?
05:04No.
05:05I wouldn't mind that.
05:06No.
05:07You're not the same colour.
05:08You're just relaxed.
05:09We're here, though, for a car.
05:11So, moving on, Fuzz has spotted something.
05:14Oh, look.
05:15How about a French Fancy?
05:16I know how much you like them.
05:18It's a Citroen Amie Cisse.
05:24The Amie Cisse was a budget-priced family saloon built between 1961 and 1978.
05:31It had rectangular headlamps and removable seats to be used for picnics.
05:36Almost two million were sold.
05:38Oh, my word.
05:40Hold on.
05:41It's got quite a bit of bounce in it.
05:42Hold on.
05:43It's got some leverage.
05:44Hold on.
05:45Just let that go.
05:46Just let that go.
05:47Oh, okay.
05:48So, it does one bounce and then returns.
05:50It is quite spongy, isn't it?
05:53But look, it looks like it's actually moving, yet it's not.
05:58It looks like a 2CV.
06:00Yeah.
06:01But it's got a bit of DS about it.
06:03Yes.
06:04And it's also, well, just really odd.
06:08It's on what basically is the 2CV mechanicals.
06:11Okay.
06:12All right.
06:13So, that's what you've got.
06:14But then you've got an altogether larger car.
06:16It's updated.
06:17It's more modern.
06:18And at the time this came out, this had a larger engine than the 2CV.
06:22Did it?
06:23So, this has got, let me tell you, two cylinders with 602 cc.
06:30Okay, man.
06:31So, that means 0-60 in three weeks?
06:330-60 possibly.
06:34Yeah.
06:35Well, actually probably 0-50.
06:37The engine is underneath here.
06:39So, there's the engine.
06:40Where?
06:41I can't see it.
06:42There.
06:43There.
06:44Just right across the front.
06:45It's tiny.
06:46It's there though.
06:47That's the main thing.
06:48And then, look at this.
06:49Look at this kind of sculpted front.
06:51I can see why it's endearing.
06:53I can also see why it's probably, there's a fan club out there who would love that.
07:00Anyway, let's move on.
07:02For something entirely different, say howdy to one of Sam's yank tanks.
07:09Now, look Sam, I've got to ask you about this.
07:12Is it a Coupe de Ville?
07:13It is.
07:141962 Coupe de Ville.
07:15Look at his face.
07:16I like it.
07:17In 1962, this was the smallest car that Cadillac produced.
07:19Right.
07:20This was their little compact two-door sporty number.
07:23Crikey.
07:24Can I just, while you're here.
07:25Yeah.
07:26I'm going to go and have a look at that thing.
07:30Right.
07:31Yeah, those are great.
07:32My EV?
07:33Yeah.
07:34My first and last EV I'll ever buy.
07:35Yeah.
07:36The C5 was a battery-powered three-wheeler launched by electronics pioneer Clive Sinclair in 1985.
07:45It retailed for £399, had a Lotus-designed chassis and a tonneau cover and cagoule as optional extras.
07:55I had one of these.
07:57You are joking.
07:58Yeah, I got it working and took it out on the road in Birmingham and it was a target.
08:03I've never been targeted by cars more than when I was riding one of these.
08:10There is always this thing of rarity and desirability.
08:13Yes.
08:14And when they come together, you've got yourself a nice one.
08:17These are rare.
08:18Come on.
08:20Fair enough.
08:23At the rare and desirable end, Sam's got two inflatable air chambers, preserving a Morris Minor convertible.
08:30And most delectable of all, a Peugeot 205 GTI.
08:36Little roller skate of a car from the mid to late 1980s with the 1.9.
08:42That's the one to have.
08:43That is the one to have, yeah.
08:46Sam does have another collector's corner.
08:49Oh, actually, before we start, Guy and Family, eh?
08:54You can't say things like that.
08:56Why not?
08:58With yet more garage ephemera.
09:01I remember those sort of boards always being in cafes.
09:04Convertible isn't really spelt very well, but perhaps they're missing an E.
09:08Now, listen.
09:10Look, we've got a lot here.
09:11Yeah.
09:12We've got, what's it called again, that Citroen thingy?
09:14The Citroen Ami-6.
09:15Ami-6.
09:16Ami-6.
09:17Ami-6.
09:18Okay, that's quite nice.
09:20Yeah.
09:21The Morris van I love.
09:22Yeah.
09:23Austin, sorry.
09:24The Cadillac.
09:25Yeah, Cadillac.
09:26I love the Cadillac.
09:27Yeah.
09:28I like, well, there's a lot of signage.
09:30I like the air pressure signs, the blue Sunoco.
09:32Yeah, that's really nice.
09:33Yeah.
09:34Great.
09:35Should we go and see Sam and have a little, we don't do MGBs.
09:38Bad experience.
09:39You can talk about it on the way back.
09:40I just don't like the rubber bumpers.
09:41Yeah.
09:42There you go.
09:43Lead the way.
09:51Do you know where to start?
09:52I kind of do, yeah.
09:53Because I know that you love the car that Sam is leaning against her.
09:58Oh.
09:59How much would that be?
10:00I'd be retailing at £17,995, but I'll take £15 for it for a trade deal.
10:05Okay.
10:06Let's move on to, that's an Austin, isn't it?
10:09It is an Austin.
10:10Not a Morris Minor.
10:11It's an Austin.
10:12How much?
10:13Yeah.
10:14£4,995, but there's always a deal to be done.
10:16Over there, there were a couple of tyre pressure.
10:18Charts.
10:19Yeah, charts.
10:20For the pair, £80 for the pair.
10:23Okay.
10:26Sold.
10:27Sold.
10:28The blue Sunoco.
10:30Yeah.
10:31£100 for that.
10:3280?
10:33Hmm.
10:3490.
10:35Meet you in the middle.
10:36Oh.
10:37Sorry, Fuzz.
10:38Sorry, I don't know.
10:39Because I might have that for myself.
10:41Can we move on to something orange du pop?
10:45What's the bottom line on this one?
10:47I would have liked four and a half, but I'll do four on it.
10:53When you look at what they fetch, when they're completely finished and ready, there's plenty
10:58of room in it for you, I think.
10:59Is there?
11:00Yeah.
11:01Three and a half?
11:02Three, seven fifty.
11:03Three, seven fifty.
11:04Oh, look.
11:05How about a French fancy?
11:06I know how much you like them.
11:07We're up in Nutsford with Sam and her eclectic collection of cars and automobilia.
11:23We've offered 3,500 for a Citroen Amie Cease, but she wants four grand.
11:30Three, seven fifty.
11:32Meet me in the middle.
11:34Okay, yeah.
11:35Shake it quick before he changes his mind.
11:37Yeah.
11:41Next day, back at the shed, our Amie meets Miss Amie.
11:48Do you like it?
11:49It's brilliant.
11:50Do you?
11:51Absolutely amazing.
11:52It's very left field.
11:53Proper character.
11:54I tell you what.
11:55Ugly, but cool.
11:56Now, what colour would you call that?
11:58Now, off-white green.
11:59Mint.
12:00Yeah, mint.
12:01I'd go lemon pistachio.
12:03It's a little bit green, and it's a little bit yellow.
12:06Either way, I think it might be difficult to colour match.
12:09Can I tell you something else?
12:10Yeah.
12:11I've actually sat in it recently.
12:13Right.
12:14Have you seen the bird's nest of a dashboard?
12:17I was more worried about the seat covers.
12:19I didn't get as far as the dashboard.
12:20God, I think it looks lovely like that.
12:22It's psychedelic.
12:23Yeah.
12:24Well, aren't these supposed to, if you have a bowl of water on your head and you go across
12:27a ploughed field, not spill water on you?
12:29No, we're going to try that.
12:30There's something like that.
12:31You're absolutely right.
12:32That's a great idea.
12:33That is a great idea because the suspension is supposed to be unbelievable.
12:36Hey, so that's the first endeavour.
12:38And the second endeavour, I think, has to do something with France.
12:41And I'm not quite sure what.
12:43I've got an idea.
12:44Have you?
12:45Yeah.
12:46I can see it now.
12:47No, you can't.
12:48The Eiffel Tower.
12:49No.
12:50I can.
12:51I'm not driving that to the Eiffel Tower.
12:53Blackpool Tower.
12:54No.
12:55I don't think it's going to get to Alton Towers.
13:00The trinkets don't need any work.
13:02But this is our first French car for a while.
13:05So time to get busy.
13:08Next morning, we head under the bonnet.
13:12What we would like to do is try and start this up because it looks like it has had a
13:18bit of work here and there.
13:19Lots and lots of nice shiny parts.
13:20Yeah.
13:21Really?
13:22See, Fuzz, we bought well.
13:25Well, I believe so.
13:26And also, there's a new fuel pump on there.
13:29A fuel filter.
13:30Fresh ignition wires.
13:31A new battery.
13:32Yeah.
13:33Some work on the starter.
13:35Lots of new screws and a new solenoid.
13:37I'm going to put the T on there.
13:38I'm going to hold your T because this might vibrate quite a bit.
13:41No.
13:42I'm telling you, the suspension, right, the suspension for these will absorb the T-slot.
13:49Don't do that!
13:50Alan!
13:51He's not going to slot much, though, because he's right in the centre of the car.
13:55Watch it go down now.
13:56Watch this.
13:57Oh, look at that.
13:58Oh, that loads at least a foot.
14:00Hang on, there's a wheel in here.
14:02That's all right.
14:03Don't worry about that.
14:04That's your spare wheel, sir.
14:05Yes.
14:06Okay.
14:07Okay, that's the pumps working.
14:08Fuel pumps working.
14:09Yeah, what do I pull?
14:10That's good.
14:11Not that one.
14:12Not that one.
14:13This one.
14:14Hold on.
14:15That one?
14:16Oh, there it was.
14:17Literally, first time.
14:18I didn't even touch it.
14:20That's really good.
14:21He laid Treadian.
14:22Should we go for it down the drive, then?
14:24Well, I think we should check it.
14:26Yeah.
14:27Hang on.
14:29Zutallon.
14:30It's cogged out.
14:32There's a lack of fuel.
14:33Well, does that mean we've got to spend money on fuel?
14:35Yeah.
14:36Yeah.
14:37If that's all it is, that's a result.
14:40Yeah, but it's still money, mate.
14:41It's the first thing to do, though.
14:43I really think it is.
14:44Comes off the bottom line.
14:45Comes off the bottom line.
14:46Yeah.
14:47Yeah.
14:48Okay, good.
14:49Well, if that's the only thing, then ripper.
14:51So in goes some essence.
14:53Out comes some junk.
14:55And off we go.
14:56Alley.
14:57Alley.
14:58Alley.
14:59He laid alley.
15:00Alley up.
15:03With a top speed of 65 miles an hour, it ain't exactly Jacques Villeneuve.
15:08But at least they were right about the engine.
15:11I'm going through the pedal.
15:14Don't do the metal.
15:17Okay.
15:18Ready?
15:19Wait.
15:22I'm ready.
15:23It's there.
15:24He laid alley metal.
15:26Yes.
15:27Shall we smell a little bit of burning?
15:28Uh, potentially, they break.
15:29They stuck.
15:30Are they?
15:31Je pense.
15:32Oh.
15:33Shall we try it off road?
15:34A little bit of burning.
15:36Potentra, they break.
15:38They're stuck.
15:40Are they?
15:42Je pense.
15:44Shall we try it off-road?
15:48This was not, I hasten to add.
15:50Designed for cross-country.
15:52This is it, man.
15:54C'est super beau, hein?
15:56C'est très bien dans le champ.
15:58Countrysoid.
16:00C'est très magnifique.
16:04Off the road?
16:06Oui.
16:08Bonjour!
16:10Vive la France!
16:16So, a few niggles to sort out,
16:18but our amy is as friendly as its name implies.
16:22Next, un pur de travail,
16:24starting with the dashboard.
16:30Right, you hold it where you want it at the bottom, Al.
16:32Right now, the cowl doesn't fit,
16:34and it's a mess of glue, old filler, and bits of tape,
16:38all of which needs to go.
16:40Well, be careful. It's very thin at this point here.
16:42Very thin, very delicate.
16:44It's been repaired before. I'm not sure how structurally sound that is.
16:46Well, I'll give it a go.
16:48What can possibly go wrong?
16:50While Skid uses an angle grinder to tidy the cowl up,
16:56Alan cleans up the speedo dial.
17:00Someone's painted matte black, it should be chrome.
17:02Looks a lot better now.
17:04Here you go, Al.
17:06And then, after checking the fit...
17:08I think that's gone down a bit more, you know.
17:10It has, actually, yeah.
17:12I don't want to take any more off, though, mate.
17:14I think that's the limit.
17:16The thing is, that works okay, doesn't it?
17:18They mix up some two-pack filler.
17:20Basically, you get this hardener.
17:22Normally, you put a little thin line on the same length as the filler itself.
17:26And then fill the cracks and broken edges of the cowl.
17:30It's quite nice putting on filler.
17:32Do you find it therapeutic out?
17:34I do.
17:36After half an hour, it's dry enough for Skid to file off all the excess.
17:42I think when that's painted, that'll look great.
17:45Let's do a trial fit.
17:46Let's check it fits before we paint it.
17:48That's perfect.
17:50He gives it a coat of rattle can noir.
17:54I'm happy with that. The drawings are great.
17:56It's a significant improvement.
17:58It's a massive improvement.
18:00The test will be if Henry can see what we've done in repairs.
18:05Alan reattaches the switches.
18:08Reinstalls the cowl.
18:10It's looking good, Al.
18:12It's like something out of Thunderbirds, isn't it?
18:14Yeah.
18:16And then, after he's tidied up the door trim, we're done for the day.
18:20You need to get behind the wheel.
18:22Oh, my lord, look at that.
18:24Alan, let him in.
18:26Alan, seriously.
18:28It looks brand new, doesn't it?
18:30Oh, my gosh.
18:32I mean, it was a wreck.
18:34That is fantastic.
18:35It's certainly a big improvement, isn't it?
18:37You two have really added value there.
18:40It's actually looking like a decent car now.
18:43This bit of it, anyway.
18:44It's made a huge difference, hasn't it?
18:45We've fitted the rubber trim and stuck the carpet back as well.
18:47Alan's turned into a carpet fitter.
18:49Just needs a hoover, which we thought you could do.
18:51Do you know what?
18:52I'll tell you what.
18:53I had a terrible asthma attack just recently.
18:55I think you'll find that the hoover will help with that.
18:58Do you?
18:59Yes.
19:00Are you sure?
19:01It'll suck in fresh air in front of you.
19:02I might have to do it in the morning, though.
19:04Oh, OK.
19:05Alan.
19:06Skid.
19:07You're geniuses, man.
19:08Unbelievable.
19:09Well done.
19:10Even Bean loves it.
19:11Don't you, scorcher?
19:12Next morning, fuzz starts on the brakes.
19:19That's what you call long travel suspension, isn't it?
19:25Oh, yeah.
19:27The brakes are dragging.
19:29Oh, right.
19:30So what we need, because we only have 602 cc's of engine.
19:34Power?
19:35Yeah, so what we need to do is maximise that power.
19:37Right.
19:38So that it's not using it all on just overcoming the dragging brakes.
19:43Right.
19:44Off comes the wheel.
19:47Excellent.
19:49Exposing the brake drum, but all is not well.
19:53So we have a bit of a tight spot.
19:56Fuzz uses every tool in the box to remove the brake drum.
20:02But it won't come off easily.
20:05Right.
20:06Something's coming off here, Al.
20:08Let's hope a big spring doesn't leap out from behind it.
20:11Oh, wait a minute.
20:12Oh, no.
20:13What's happened?
20:15We've taken the bearing apart.
20:17We pulled the bearing apart rather than pulling the bearing off the axle.
20:19Yeah.
20:20Yeah, we need to do some bearing reassembly.
20:27Inside the shed, Fuzz puts the drum in the vise and tries to make amends.
20:35We're trying to get this bearing collar out of this drum, but it's very, very tight.
20:40We could try shocking it with a punch, couldn't we?
20:42We could try shocking it with a punch.
20:45In order to put the drum back on, they need to detach and then reassemble the bearing.
20:51But it's stuck fast.
20:52They try heating it.
20:54Punching it.
20:56Levering it.
20:58But the bearing collar just won't come free.
21:02The only solution is something distinctly unorthodox.
21:06We're just cooling down the bearing and brake drum, or the half bearing and brake drum.
21:15Because we are going to go for a shock reassembly of the bearing.
21:21Blimey.
21:22What does that mean?
21:23Put some grease in it.
21:24Use the grease to hold the balls in place.
21:26Very carefully line it up.
21:27Put a bit of pressure on it.
21:28Give it one tap of the hammer.
21:29It should go gajunk and go back on.
21:33Alan reassembles the bearing.
21:38Fuzz frees up the brake shoes.
21:41Then comes the moment of truth.
21:44Right in the middle, one big bang.
21:45Ready?
21:46Yeah, all the effort you've got.
21:47Get your hands out of the way.
21:48Are you ready?
21:51It's not gone on in one clean tap, but it's almost there.
21:56Fuzz reattaches the centre nut and finally levers it into position.
22:01OK, that's now tight.
22:07They're done.
22:08Is that fixed?
22:09Well, yes.
22:12That's beautiful.
22:13It rotates nice and freely as well.
22:15That's good.
22:16OK.
22:17So that was much harder than any of us expected.
22:22But with our brake problem solved, there's just one final test
22:27before we take our Citroen on a French-style road trip.
22:31Is its suspension as good as they say?
22:34Oh, I've really made it now!
22:36We'll soon find out.
22:47We had a bonjour yesterday, restoring our Citroen amicise.
22:56We sorted the brakes.
22:59And the dash.
23:02It's looking good up.
23:05And gave it a good old declutter.
23:09But before we take it on a petty voyage, there's one last test I want to do.
23:15You've seen before you three glasses of, I think they call it in France, low.
23:24Now listen, we are going to try out the suspension.
23:28These cars are famed for their most incredible suspension.
23:31That it floats along, right?
23:34As we traverse wherever we're going.
23:38Yes.
23:39I'm going to be driving, alas.
23:40Yeah.
23:41Jelly beans in the motor.
23:42Yeah.
23:43Yeah.
23:44And we're going to go round the field and see how much water we bring back.
23:46Fantastic.
23:47Permission to ask a question, sir?
23:49Yes.
23:50Why only three glasses of water?
23:51Pasqueur?
23:52Well, you can have one between your legs.
23:54Yeah.
23:55Drive one-handed.
23:56Exactly.
23:57One between your legs.
23:58One between your legs.
23:59Yeah.
24:00Ah, that's better.
24:01Well done.
24:02Yes.
24:03Bravo.
24:04Well, gravity glasses, pile in.
24:05Let's go.
24:06All right, bing, bing, come sit in the middle.
24:07Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, look.
24:08I'm slopping.
24:09It's actually very smooth, isn't it?
24:10It is very smooth in the bag.
24:11Do you know what?
24:12Actually, that is amazing.
24:13It is, isn't it?
24:14It's floating.
24:15Hang on, here we go.
24:16Now we're getting in the rough terrain.
24:17Okay.
24:18The AMI uses the same ultra-smooth coil suspension as the 2CV, nicknamed the four-wheeled sofa.
24:31The AMI uses the same ultra-smooth coil suspension as the 2CV, nicknamed the four-wheeled sofa.
24:44But it's not all plain sailing.
24:47Oh, oh, dear.
24:48Oh, oh, oh.
24:49That's actually on a beat.
24:51Did that come over to you?
24:52Oh, oh, dear.
24:54Oh, dear.
24:55I really see.
24:56But overall, it lives up to its reputation.
25:03That's incredible.
25:06Seriously.
25:07It is impressive.
25:09Man, I thought it was going to go everywhere.
25:11Yeah, I did as well.
25:12Shall we go for a tight turn?
25:13Oh, dear.
25:14Oh, yeah.
25:15Oh, there it goes.
25:16Oh, that's lovely.
25:17Great.
25:18You're happy now.
25:19Yeah.
25:20Let me safely say this was a brilliant, brilliant experiment.
25:36And who's come off the best?
25:39I think the Citroen.
25:40Hasn't it?
25:41I reckon so.
25:42I think it's amazing.
25:43So we're just about ready for our Citroen day out.
25:50But next morning, something unexpected happens.
25:53A mate flogs me two French Vela Solex mopeds for 600 quid.
25:58The perfect compliment for our Ami Cease.
26:01I've got to pop out, so I've left them for the rest of the team.
26:05We've been abandoned by Henry.
26:06Yes.
26:07We've checked out the two of these.
26:08Yeah.
26:09That one is slightly lacking and that's being fair.
26:13The chain on that is like a bowstring.
26:16This seems to have been put together by a non-professional.
26:19I think it's been slapped together.
26:21Bits are loose.
26:22Bits are missing.
26:23But we seem to have most of them.
26:25This one, well, this looks like it's been well cared for and is a runner.
26:28So if this runs, we will park this up.
26:31We won't clean it and dust it down.
26:33Okay.
26:34And we'll move on to this one because this one, I'm telling you,
26:36might be trouble.
26:37Needs the time.
26:39So without more adieu, Fuzz grabs a helmet and mounts up.
26:43So what you're going to do, drop the motor.
26:46Okay.
26:47Pull the decompressor.
26:48Yeah.
26:49And pedal.
26:50And pray.
26:51Okay.
26:52How fast can these things go?
26:53What do we reckon?
26:54No, I mean pray it starts.
26:55Oh, right.
26:56Okay.
26:57Not pray to hang on to the horsepower.
26:58Well, let's see what happens.
27:00Here we go.
27:01Yeah.
27:02Okay.
27:03All right.
27:04Off I go.
27:05Go on.
27:06Yes.
27:07There we go.
27:08Yes.
27:09It's going.
27:10We're off.
27:11It tells our trail of bliss mode.
27:17It may sound more like a road trail than a motorbike,
27:20but our first Valisolex most definitely runs.
27:26Well, look.
27:27How was it?
27:28That was good.
27:29It was really nice, didn't it?
27:30It sounded really sweet.
27:31It's quicker than I thought it was going to be.
27:32You're a proper wobbly.
27:34On the gravel, it's a little bit wayward.
27:36Well, you've got this weight on one side, haven't you?
27:38Yeah.
27:39Well, that's true, yeah.
27:40It is quite heavy on the steering.
27:42But, yeah, that was great.
27:46So, un down, un to go.
27:50Using the first Velo as a reference, the three mopadeers get to work.
27:55Alan focuses on the front end and the engine, starting with the spark test.
28:00It's got a massive spark.
28:02Do you want to feel it?
28:03No.
28:05Fuzz wisely sticks to the rear, starting by lubricating the chain.
28:10No, it's still really tight.
28:13It's not the only thing that's too tight.
28:16So, this is the decompressor valve here.
28:18It lets the combustion pressure out.
28:19Yeah, when you pull the lever so you can stop.
28:21Basically, it's seized up.
28:23So, you take that apart, clean it up and make it work.
28:27The Velo Solex was marketed as a simple moped
28:30that needed little more care than a conventional bicycle.
28:34But this particular example has not been set up well.
28:39Have you found anything, Al?
28:40Yeah, basically, it's over-tightened.
28:41It's adjusted.
28:42There's a spring here.
28:43The spring was coil-bound.
28:44Oh.
28:45Oh, right.
28:46So, it wasn't seized at all?
28:47No, not at all.
28:48Brilliant.
28:49So, there's a warning for the whole bike.
28:51Rear wheel over-tightened.
28:52Yes, that's right.
28:53That over-tightened.
28:54Yeah.
28:55We've got an over-tightening merchant.
28:59Al fits a new gasket and puts the cylinder head back on.
29:04That's quite a good job, actually.
29:07But adjusting the chain is rather more approximate.
29:11Just snip that up.
29:13Nip the other side up.
29:16We've got just enough slack there,
29:18so it's not going to wear the chain.
29:23Skid fits the beak-like front mudguard.
29:26Fuzz assembles the rear light.
29:29And by lunchtime, they're ready to see if it runs.
29:32Test.
29:33So, I'm not going to ride it.
29:34I'm just going to start it.
29:35Right, okay.
29:36Decompressor in.
29:37Yeah.
29:40There we go.
29:41Yes.
29:42Look at that.
29:43Yes.
29:44Look at that.
29:45Right.
29:46Yes.
29:47That was easy.
29:48That's beautiful, isn't it?
29:49That's right.
29:50So, when you've got the front brake on.
29:51Yeah, it shows the engine that will smash it.
29:52Yeah, so that's a nice idle system.
29:53Really, really clever, isn't it?
29:54Yeah.
29:55Isn't that great?
29:56Decompressor works as well.
29:59Yeah, very cool.
30:00Right, let's pull it out.
30:04So, we've got start.
30:06Yeah.
30:07Stop.
30:08Brakes.
30:09And.
30:10Idle.
30:11And also drive.
30:12Ready to go.
30:13What can possibly go wrong?
30:15Cue my return.
30:18Oh, boys.
30:19Here he comes.
30:20Oh, you found them.
30:21That's fantastic.
30:22Honestly, I'm so sorry.
30:24I had to dash off.
30:25Yeah, well, you're a little late to the party.
30:27Sorry.
30:28It was an important meeting about shrubbery.
30:31The great thing is they are both running.
30:34Running and riding really well.
30:36Hang on.
30:37Because I actually bought these off a terribly nice chap called Derek.
30:41Yeah.
30:42And he said that one was running and one was a little bit dodgy.
30:45That was the runner.
30:46That started very easily.
30:47Fuzzpedaled it down the way and it went.
30:49This one.
30:50Yes.
30:51Was trickier.
30:52Cantankerous.
30:53Can I just say how weird it is that we are restoring a Citroen.
30:57Yes.
30:58Yeah.
30:59And suddenly, a couple of French mopeds come to bear.
31:02Well.
31:03They appear in our lives.
31:04Well, we haven't had a Velosolex in here for a very long time.
31:06Yeah.
31:07And then two arrive like buses.
31:09All in.
31:10Right.
31:11700 quid the pair.
31:12Wow.
31:13Okay.
31:14Well, that's an absolute bargain.
31:15I think we've come to love all things mechanical that are French.
31:19Oh, you know what?
31:20No.
31:21Enchanté.
31:22All right.
31:23Okay.
31:24So, look, hurry up.
31:25Go have a quick whiz up and down.
31:26All right.
31:27Come on.
31:28And they're off.
31:29The top speed of one of these is 17 miles an hour with the engine engaged.
31:44A little faster if your pedal lights stink.
31:47This is such great fun, isn't it?
31:48Yeah.
31:49Amazing fun.
31:50Yeah, they're really cool.
31:51Believe it or not, there are enthusiasts who race them for real, but I don't think they
32:04draw big crowds.
32:06Can't change that.
32:07Well, it was a close run thing, but I think Fuzz won it by half a wheel.
32:20With both velos running great, tomorrow we're back in the Citroen.
32:24I've got a whole day of Frenchness planned in its honour.
32:29But will it be to everyone's tastes?
32:32Yes.
32:33You want a snail?
32:35You want a snail?
32:36Y'all not!
32:43Y'all have enough time.
32:49Hilary de Fort Merlin.
32:50We found a French fancy in a shed near Knutsford.
32:553.750.
32:56Okay, yeah.
32:57Shake it quick before he changes his mind.
33:01We marvelled at it.
33:03Field tested it.
33:05Shall we go for a tight turn?
33:07Oh, dear!
33:12Founded a couple of friends
33:14and got it looking at its best.
33:18It's like something out of Thunderbirds, isn't it?
33:20Yeah.
33:22Today, we're going to take it out
33:24and celebrate all things Francais.
33:28First up, we need to get in the tip, so hats off.
33:31Wait, are you sure?
33:33Yep.
33:34I'm cold.
33:34Now, I know they should be dark blue,
33:37but I just thought we should get in touch with...
33:40Those go quite well with the interior.
33:43Exactly.
33:43They do, yeah.
33:44One for you.
33:45Right, OK.
33:46Hold on.
33:46One for you.
33:48There you go.
33:48What's happened?
33:49Can I just tell you these berets?
33:51I ordered four and got six.
33:53That's how much...
33:54Oh, actually, those look like a French resistance.
34:01Oh, do I?
34:02Yeah, you do.
34:02I thought I looked like Captain Sensible.
34:05No, you look like French resistance.
34:06He looks like Captain Sensible.
34:07He wore a pink beret, didn't he?
34:09Yeah.
34:10Put it sideways.
34:10That's better.
34:11Is that?
34:12He looked like a paratrooper.
34:13Yeah.
34:13Now, do you play bulls on gravel or sort of sand?
34:17Oh, gravel.
34:18Definitely gravel.
34:20Can I just explain that my bulls are a little bit rusty?
34:24Yeah.
34:25And that's because...
34:26It's the story of your life.
34:28I'll go and get them.
34:29Yeah.
34:29First activity, a game of bulls.
34:38What are you doing?
34:40I brought the seats along.
34:41It's a gentle game for older people as well as younger people.
34:45And I thought we might like to spectate from a seated position.
34:49Okay, come on then.
34:50How do you mean by that?
34:52Well, there's a great thing about this...
34:54I'll go around the other side now.
34:56Monomy.
34:57Orange!
34:57What is it?
34:58Ah, take a look.
35:00Right, now lift the front.
35:00Oh, what the seat's come out?
35:02Lift the front.
35:02Oh, look at that.
35:04That's fantastic.
35:07Oh, they're very comfy.
35:11I could go to sleep here.
35:12There we are.
35:13That's fantastic.
35:15We're basically moving house.
35:18They're magnificently comfy.
35:20Go on then.
35:20You won't want to get up once you're down.
35:23That's really comfy, isn't it?
35:24No, it is, actually.
35:24It's actually really...
35:25Oh, yeah.
35:27Try doing that in your Land Rover.
35:28Well, you couldn't do it in your Land Rover, could you?
35:30No.
35:31Hey?
35:31The trouble is, now, trying to get out.
35:33Yeah.
35:34At our age, this is going to be dodgy.
35:36We're going to have to roll out.
35:37Yeah.
35:38No, that is...
35:39Really?
35:41No, don't lick me face, Bean.
35:42I need...
35:43All right.
35:46Okay, great.
35:47I'll get the boole-ooleys.
35:50Balls is France's 10th most popular sport.
35:55A few places behind guillotining their monarchs and baiting les Anglais.
36:00There you go.
36:01So, the teams are now you and me against Alan and Fuzz.
36:04The nearest is the winner.
36:05Great.
36:06Okay, go on then.
36:09That's a bit too far.
36:10Yeah.
36:10This is not a good start.
36:13In French slang, a ball can mean a loaf, a testicle or a bonce, none of which should
36:20be thrown around lightly.
36:22Go on.
36:23Oh, my word.
36:24Oh.
36:25Oh, that is close.
36:27Yeah.
36:27But if a game of balls isn't your French fancy...
36:39What's that dreadful noise?
36:50Yeah, look.
36:51I just thought I'd just get this little accoutrement on board, just to serenade us as we drive to
36:57Burford.
36:58Why have you got a Michelin tyre pressure gauge map thing there?
37:03Because, mon ami, it has the tyre pressures for a Citroen 2CV on there.
37:09Oh, yeah, it does, isn't it?
37:09And I reckon that's probably about the same as this one.
37:12Yeah, it's near enough, isn't it?
37:13What's that?
37:1420 on the front and 26 at the rear.
37:17Fuzz pumps up, there's Penu, and we're off for some cheese grommet.
37:21We're off for some fromage.
37:37Designed by Flaminio Vertoni, who also designed the DS, the ami was briefly France's best-selling
37:44car.
37:47Admittedly, it's not fast.
37:49Well, we're getting up some speed now, 40 kilometres per hour.
37:54That is hot, man.
37:55Hang on to your berets.
37:56But if you can grin and cam and bear it, the ride is as smooth as Sacha Distel.
38:05I've got to tell you, it's really comfy.
38:08I mean, there's four of us, an accordion and a dog, and I'm not struggling to prove.
38:13It's a little bit cramped in the back.
38:15Is it?
38:15Legroom-wise, yeah, a little bit, but the seats are comfy.
38:21Oh, man, it's great.
38:24It's five miles to Burford, but we're so enthralled, we're considering joining the Foreign Legion,
38:30or if not, going on a booze cruise to Calais.
38:33There we go.
38:47I'll say.
38:48A few glass windows here, don't we?
38:50Yeah.
38:51Five minutes later, we arrive at Borg Fortifi.
38:56Burford to you, mate.
38:57Welcome to Burford.
39:00We are now going to experience Le French Fromage, right?
39:05OK.
39:06Don La Shop, which is called the Cotswold Cheese Company, which ain't exactly French, but I
39:11think they've got a lot of it in.
39:13Aravedeci?
39:13Oh, no, that's Italian.
39:14Inside, Emily has assembled a platter of some of France's greatest cheeses.
39:28Emily, now describe to me these French cheeses.
39:32Well, I'll start with the blue.
39:34Like our Ami, some of these cheeses are quirky and bold.
39:41Very salty, very strong, pungent, beautiful.
39:46Others are comfortable and smooth on the palais.
39:50It's really nice, it's like Derely.
39:52It's like a Derely Dipper.
39:54And others taste strangely automotive.
39:59It's sort of acid-y.
40:00A bit like brake fluid.
40:02It's like brake fluid.
40:03It's brake fluid, yeah.
40:04Only Alan knows what brake fluid tastes like.
40:07I know, no, I know what it tastes like.
40:09I kind of prefer engine oil to brake fluid.
40:12Engine oil, yeah.
40:15Can I have a bigger piece than that?
40:18I like the contact because it's got that kind of nuttiness, slight sweetness.
40:23Can we go into the chip?
40:25Don't put it in your mouth.
40:26Take it with your fingers.
40:27We've got to have it off the same knife.
40:30That one?
40:31That one for Alan.
40:32Probably by that one.
40:33OK?
40:35Oh, I like that as well.
40:37Yeah, I can't.
40:38We could stay here all day, but like the Citroen, it's time to put the brakes on.
40:45Now, lads, I'll tell you, this is just the start of the highlights for this afternoon.
40:48We've played the ball.
40:50We've had a nice drive.
40:51We've had a bit of cheese.
40:52And now, I'm going to cook you something.
40:56Something very French, and we will go home and prepare.
41:01As they say in Normandy, here comes the pièce de French resistance.
41:10It says that I, Paul, the last activity.
41:15I thought I might cook you up something incredibly special and very Francais.
41:19I am really looking forward to this.
41:20I bet you are, mate.
41:21So now look, because it is French, we need some special implements.
41:26All right, so I'll just give you that.
41:28I saw those and thought it might be a lobster claw.
41:30No, no.
41:31And then also, you're going to need one of these just to sort of, well, how shall I say, pick
41:37them.
41:38OK.
41:39Prepare yourselves, because I'm going to demonstrate the fine art of la cuisine.
41:45Duh.
41:46There.
41:47Those are less gargoyle.
41:55Oi!
41:56You want a snail?
41:59That's not the spirit.
42:06But talk about someone who presents a hard outer shell, but is soft and gooey on the inside.
42:11And our local car dealer, Chopper Roy, has arrived.
42:17Now, choppers, right, obviously you know this is an Ami seat.
42:20I do.
42:21Yeah.
42:22It goes very well.
42:23The engine is pretty strong.
42:25I've got to say, it's comfy though, mate, isn't it?
42:27It's very comfy.
42:28Rare.
42:29Yeah.
42:30And also, the seats come out.
42:31You can sit by the side of the river on the seats.
42:33Of course you can.
42:34On the side of the road.
42:35Or a racetrack.
42:36Yeah.
42:37Exactly.
42:38It won't break down.
42:39It's so simple.
42:40Are they in vogue?
42:41They've never gone out, I don't think.
42:43Really?
42:44They're a hell of a following.
42:45That is rare, that one.
42:46It's four and a half every day.
42:48Really?
42:49Well, there we go.
42:50Where are you going to get one?
42:51Apart from here?
42:52Well, here.
42:53Absolutely.
42:54They're not out there.
42:55Do you like Velosolexes?
42:56One of my favourite things in the world.
42:58Sarcasm will get you nowhere.
42:59I thought you might be interested.
43:01I'll have to find a punter for that.
43:03How many do you want?
43:04I've got two.
43:05Well, better than three.
43:07That's good.
43:08Yeah, no, no.
43:09Two Velosolexes, 400 quid a pop each.
43:11Happy days.
43:12Yeah.
43:13But this...
43:14I could have a queue of people for that.
43:16Oh, could you?
43:17Yeah.
43:18So that's £750 on the Ami.
43:22And if we make £200 on the pair of Velos,
43:25that'll be a glorious £950 profit.
43:30Well, all I can say, yeah,
43:33to our lovely little French automobile is au revoir.
43:48I'll see you there.
43:49I'll see you next time.
43:50I'll see you next time.
43:51Bye.
43:52Bye.
43:53Bye.
43:54Bye.
43:55Bye.
43:56Bye.
43:57Bye.
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