Dungeons & Drag Queens S02E05P1 (2025)

DRAG☆FOLKS

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Transcript

00:00:00Bitch.

00:00:03Hello, one and all!

00:00:05Welcome to Dimension 20.

00:00:07I'm your humble dungeon master, Brennan Lee, Molly.

00:00:09And with me as always are our questing queens.

00:00:11Say hi, questing queens.

00:00:12Hi, questing queens.

00:00:15Oh my goodness.

00:00:17Last we left off, our questing queens,

00:00:20the champions of Calvorda,

00:00:22were in the midst of Pyridia,

00:00:24atop Mount Magmaron,

00:00:26with the dragon Mofendrix,

00:00:28having, of course, rescued him

00:00:31from the Temple of Frozen Doom

00:00:33and the city of Winter's Eve.

00:00:35You had spent some time on Winter's Eve as well

00:00:37interacting with Mysara,

00:00:39these fae sorceress

00:00:41who seemed to be asking

00:00:43Twilight to come and join her

00:00:45in cahoots with none other than Queen Aeneira,

00:00:48Troianne's mother.

00:00:49My Madre.

00:00:50Madre of Everdeep.

00:00:52Honestly, you should have taken the offer.

00:00:53I can't swim.

00:00:55It's a pretty sweet deal,

00:00:56because I don't know how much we have to offer over here.

00:00:59On our side right now.

00:01:01Well, you may not be able to swim normally,

00:01:03but with six potions of swimming

00:01:05and with...

00:01:06Yeah, water breathe.

00:01:08Water breathing over here

00:01:09and also with our new magical locket,

00:01:12magical bracelet,

00:01:14magical sort of music box of dragonfly wings

00:01:16that we got from these treasures.

00:01:18Having had Spole, sweet ice fairy,

00:01:21our newfound romantic love interest for Twyla,

00:01:25was kidnapped along with Royal Cark

00:01:27and Troianne's dear father

00:01:29and taken to Everdeep by Mysara,

00:01:32who also absconded with your boon,

00:01:35boon of Mofandrix.

00:01:36I know, that's so shady.

00:01:38When he was like,

00:01:39boo, boo, what you mean boo?

00:01:40What are you talking about boo?

00:01:41Okay.

00:01:42Girl, boo and go.

00:01:43I don't want to also remember,

00:01:45I said from the beginning she was shady

00:01:47and that she was going to deceive us.

00:01:48And y'all were all like,

00:01:49no, Monet, give her a chance.

00:01:50What do you know?

00:01:52And I've been right 90% of the time.

00:01:55Well, you also said your mother was to be trusted.

00:01:58You assured us that she was nothing but good,

00:02:01the benevolent queen of the sea.

00:02:05Yeah.

00:02:07Arriving at Mofandrix's lair,

00:02:09the horde that was originally sort of kept on the books

00:02:13by the Fohammer family.

00:02:14Mofandrix asked Princess if she really wanted a dowry

00:02:17and she indicated no,

00:02:19that she was not necessarily interested

00:02:20in a marriage for money,

00:02:22but rather something more substantive,

00:02:24more meaningful.

00:02:26Your parents are going to be so mad.

00:02:28They're going to be so mad.

00:02:32You also looked through the mirror of immortality

00:02:35where you observed Queen Anira

00:02:38being given immortality by Mysara.

00:02:41Oh, girl.

00:02:42And then saying basically

00:02:43that that was the last step that she needed

00:02:45to command the Kraken,

00:02:48which she commanded Huey Hardax,

00:02:50the hunter,

00:02:51to go and track down.

00:02:53You also realized that your companion,

00:02:56Constano Beasani,

00:02:58was not exactly who he seemed to be.

00:03:00Oh, this guy.

00:03:01And I can't believe I held him up

00:03:02in the air for that.

00:03:03And she fucking held,

00:03:04and she told him to hang out with us.

00:03:06We made out with him.

00:03:06We just hung down.

00:03:07He could kiss, though.

00:03:08Yeah.

00:03:09He's a really good kisser.

00:03:10Through the mask?

00:03:11Yeah, through the mask.

00:03:12Yeah.

00:03:13That's crazy.

00:03:14There's just a hole in the mouth.

00:03:15And just my makeup all over it,

00:03:16you know what I mean?

00:03:18The mask gets very,

00:03:19yeah, the mask gets very steamy,

00:03:20and you found out that Constano

00:03:23was none other than

00:03:24Alexei Kleinebauer de Flashwick von Baudelaire,

00:03:27the Marquis de Balavroir.

00:03:30The Marquis.

00:03:31Who flew from there,

00:03:33having stolen a flying umbrella,

00:03:34with the chains of command,

00:03:37these massive iron chains.

00:03:39I was so annoyed at this guy.

00:03:40I hate this guy.

00:03:41I hate this guy.

00:03:42Why did we not think he was up?

00:03:44He came out of nowhere.

00:03:45Well, I told you not to let him hang out with us.

00:03:47Yeah.

00:03:48With the chains, too.

00:03:49Since we're talking about your intuition.

00:03:51I know, the chains.

00:03:52He's so kinky.

00:03:53Imagine using those chains in, like, IRL.

00:03:55You were just, you were just...

00:03:56I think it only works on Beast.

00:03:58So you'll be fine.

00:04:02So, I think it'll be great for your part.

00:04:08Oh, no.

00:04:09You ate that.

00:04:10Release the Kraken.

00:04:14You discovered, also through that mirror,

00:04:17the conversation that was happening

00:04:19with none other than the princess Acia

00:04:22of the oasis city of Mitali,

00:04:25which is where you now head to.

00:04:27You saw that Acia was, in fact, not a princess,

00:04:30or at least maybe she was technically a princess now,

00:04:32but had not certainly started one.

00:04:34She was part of the Jade Vipers,

00:04:36a thieves' guild in Mitali,

00:04:37and she had found an Ifrit, a fire genie,

00:04:41that was sealed in a ring,

00:04:42and that she had used two of three boons for.

00:04:45The moment before you went to Mitali,

00:04:47you saw Karg Hammerhold,

00:04:48another one of princess's suitors,

00:04:50show up and challenge her to a duel.

00:04:53So, all is now unfolding before you.

00:04:55Somewhere off in the oceans,

00:04:57in the capital city of Everdeep,

00:04:59the queen of the merfolk conspires

00:05:01with fae and mortal alike

00:05:03to bind a kraken to her terrible will.

00:05:08For what purpose, you do not know,

00:05:09though she has finally gained immortality for herself.

00:05:14You now head to Mitali,

00:05:16both to perhaps seek a boon from the Ifrit of Acia.

00:05:20You've also been told by Mofandrix

00:05:23that looking at the crown of Titania

00:05:25or at the golden scales of his chest,

00:05:28that perhaps a tool of immortality

00:05:30can be constructed for you as well

00:05:32if you wish to embrace your immortal nature.

00:05:35But nothing sort of stands as important right now

00:05:39in this moment

00:05:40as the duel that is about to unfold

00:05:42between Karg Hammerhold and Acia

00:05:44as you rush forward into Mitali,

00:05:47knowing only that a boon awaits you here

00:05:49with this Jade Viper.

00:05:51The runes of Augury told you that,

00:05:53I believe it was wealth, magic, creation,

00:05:56and love awaited in Mitali,

00:05:58is what the bone runes had told you.

00:06:00And then beyond that,

00:06:03of course, most dire of all,

00:06:08Roy of Karkin and Spole held captive

00:06:11in the sunken city of Everdeep.

00:06:14And with that, we venture now to Mitali!

00:06:19At least it's nice here.

00:06:21It is very nice.

00:06:22It's warm, not hot,

00:06:23like we were in Mofandrix's quarters.

00:06:27Is this a foresty place?

00:06:29It is, so Mitali is...

00:06:31No, we're in the tundra.

00:06:33I don't know.

00:06:34You don't see the trees?

00:06:36Well, I'm only asking

00:06:36because I know Twyla's powers

00:06:38are a little bit more heightened.

00:06:39In the forest, yes.

00:06:41Your powers are a little bit more heightened here.

00:06:44That is true.

00:06:45And are you heightened in the water?

00:06:46Yeah, of course.

00:06:47And I'm heightened when I'm by myself.

00:06:50All right.

00:06:52Careful, I'm alone.

00:06:53I'm my strongest.

00:06:54Favored terrain, my lonely thoughts.

00:06:56My loneliness.

00:06:57You're killing me.

00:07:00The city of Mitali is built in and throughout

00:07:04and combined with a massive oasis.

00:07:08In the distance, you see golden sand dunes

00:07:11sweeping against an azure blue sky.

00:07:15You see clouds hanging off in the breeze,

00:07:17just wisps and strands of mist overhead.

00:07:20But all around you are verdant grapevines

00:07:25and fresh fruit, tall trees,

00:07:27drinking of the water.

00:07:29And the buildings here,

00:07:30it's almost a city made of gardens.

00:07:32The large buildings you see around

00:07:34have porticos and balconies and lattices.

00:07:37Every wall has flowering plants climbing it.

00:07:41And you can hear the noise

00:07:42of a happy, bustling marketplace nearby

00:07:45in this thriving, garden-like metropolis.

00:07:49Basically, all of Mitali is like open floor plan.

00:07:52Lots of columns and things.

00:07:54Open concept.

00:07:55Century.

00:07:56I think.

00:07:57Century.

00:07:58It's beautiful.

00:07:59As you push through,

00:08:00you now stand in this very populated place

00:08:03after a lot of adventure

00:08:04in far-off tundra and acid plains.

00:08:08What would you like to do

00:08:09as you arrive here

00:08:10in the marketplace of Mitali?

00:08:11As we're at this marketplace,

00:08:13that last place we tried to shop

00:08:14in the frozen place.

00:08:16We did not get many materials.

00:08:17We should buy some kind of potions or something

00:08:19so we can heal during battle.

00:08:21What are we?

00:08:22Are we healed?

00:08:23Did we sleep?

00:08:24Yes.

00:08:24Yeah, we're healed.

00:08:25Let's go shopping.

00:08:26We should go shopping.

00:08:2721 and a half gold pieces.

00:08:29I have four.

00:08:30I have.

00:08:31I'm ripped.

00:08:32Why don't we ask my friend

00:08:33if we get some gold pieces for real?

00:08:35We should have been like,

00:08:35can we have some gold?

00:08:36Some walking around.

00:08:37We.

00:08:38We, Tundra.

00:08:39Question.

00:08:40Answer.

00:08:41Do you think we could trade our horses

00:08:44for gold here?

00:08:45We probably,

00:08:46I mean, they're not with us.

00:08:47Yeah, we did.

00:08:47They left them.

00:08:48What do you mean?

00:08:48They came with us?

00:08:49On the dragon?

00:08:50Yeah.

00:08:51Right?

00:08:51Oh, the horses are long gone.

00:08:53Horses are all the way back

00:08:55in winter's day.

00:08:55We rode the dragon and then.

00:08:57We have the fish, though.

00:08:58We have the fish head.

00:08:59Oh, yeah, the fish head.

00:09:01Huh?

00:09:01Aren't you good at dancing?

00:09:02I'm Twyla.

00:09:03Of course I'm a good job.

00:09:04I'm not going to strip.

00:09:05Gold coins.

00:09:06Here's another question.

00:09:07What else do we have to ask

00:09:08these runes?

00:09:10Like, we could probably sell those, too.

00:09:11Like, we've used them.

00:09:13I feel like they're important.

00:09:14I mean, let's not.

00:09:14Yeah, we should.

00:09:15I think we should hold on to those.

00:09:17For how?

00:09:17We're going to use them

00:09:18in the middle of a fight?

00:09:19Something is coming.

00:09:20Is this bad, or is this good?

00:09:22Should I hit this?

00:09:24I think we should buy some potions

00:09:25and some type of healing something.

00:09:27Yeah.

00:09:27Well, I can heal,

00:09:29but we'll probably need more healing.

00:09:31Yeah.

00:09:31I think it's probably really important

00:09:33that we buy things that could help,

00:09:34like, maybe...

00:09:35I don't know if I'm going to be great in water.

00:09:37I know we have those six things.

00:09:39Well, we should be good,

00:09:39because we have...

00:09:40I think we're equipped

00:09:41to not be struggling in the water.

00:09:43Right.

00:09:43And if things ever get too dangerous,

00:09:46Monet could waterwalk somebody

00:09:48and they'll just probably zip to the...

00:09:49To the surface.

00:09:52Offensive waterwalk?

00:09:53Yeah.

00:09:54If you're in the middle,

00:09:54it's like, waterwalking.

00:09:57Honestly, it's kind of a fierce move.

00:10:00You should have waterwalked

00:10:01the fucking Spall and fucking...

00:10:04Oh, get them out of there.

00:10:05Yo, Dad, when we get there,

00:10:07I don't know if you know our tricks yet, Bob.

00:10:09Jesus Christ.

00:10:10I know.

00:10:10Literally, the game is sitting right there.

00:10:12You're a dungeon master.

00:10:12John is right there.

00:10:15Let's go shopping.

00:10:16Yeah, shopping.

00:10:16What do we have for shopping?

00:10:17Incredible.

00:10:18You begin to move through the marketplace.

00:10:19Everyone here gives me

00:10:20either investigation or perception.

00:10:24Wait.

00:10:24Which one's higher?

00:10:25I think that's what I'm saying.

00:10:26We're going to see where we're at

00:10:27with these rolls today.

00:10:29Where is the investigation, sweetie?

00:10:31Perception, 17 plus 5.

00:10:3422.

00:10:35I'm a 14.

00:10:36I'm an investigation.

00:10:3714 investigation, gotcha.

00:10:38Perception, I'm 24.

00:10:3924, incredible.

00:10:41No, I'm sorry.

00:10:4222.

00:10:4322.

00:10:4410 plus 7 perception, 17.

00:10:4517 perception, amazing.

00:10:46Very perceptive today.

00:10:48Very perceptive.

00:10:49So as you move through the marketplace,

00:10:51you see that there are a number

00:10:53of different stalls here.

00:10:56There are, you know,

00:10:56most of the marketplace is sort of goods

00:10:58that common people could buy.

00:11:00So you see there's like fruit stands

00:11:02and produce and farmed in like figs

00:11:04and nuts and dates

00:11:05and all kinds of delicious things.

00:11:07There's a lot of also like food stands,

00:11:08like hot sort of grills

00:11:10where meat is being cooked.

00:11:11It smells incredible out here.

00:11:13You also can feel that there's a little bit

00:11:15of the stalls of the main attraction,

00:11:18but you start to notice

00:11:19with that high perception,

00:11:20the shops that are actually in the buildings

00:11:23on the side of the major boulevard.

00:11:25And those tend to have the goods

00:11:27that are a little bit less

00:11:28for like public mass consumption.

00:11:30That's where we want to go.

00:11:32You look in one

00:11:33and see that there are like

00:11:34enormous gleaming shields,

00:11:38like tall golden shields,

00:11:39and there's sort of an armory in here.

00:11:41Another place seems to have some weaponry.

00:11:43You notice that most of the places

00:11:44seem pretty pricey.

00:11:46About magic.

00:11:47In terms of magic,

00:11:49you do go off and see,

00:11:51you see two things actually,

00:11:52because these are very high perception.

00:11:54On one side,

00:11:55you see that there is a sort of apothecary,

00:11:59like potions, solves,

00:12:01little chemist's shop.

00:12:03And you two with that plus 20 perception,

00:12:05each notice that there is a symbol

00:12:07written in a sort of like beautiful script.

00:12:10And it looks like a letter for a second

00:12:12until you realize

00:12:12that it's actually in the shape

00:12:14of a green serpent.

00:12:17And looking at that,

00:12:18you recall the name,

00:12:19the Jade Vipers.

00:12:21Oh, yeah.

00:12:22And I think also you see

00:12:24that there is a figure

00:12:25that walks over to another shop

00:12:27not too far away in the marketplace

00:12:29that there are a series of barrels

00:12:31that are sort of behind a larger place

00:12:34that's selling sort of candied and fried nuts.

00:12:37And you see the barrels of nuts in the back

00:12:39and someone walks amongst them,

00:12:41sort of looks around,

00:12:42ducks down,

00:12:42and just vanishes

00:12:43and is suddenly gone.

00:12:44Like there's sort of a secret opening there.

00:12:47Hmm.

00:12:48Secret opening.

00:12:49Yeah, I want to meet Miss Jade.

00:12:50I want to meet Miss Jade Viper.

00:12:52Get her Jade.

00:12:52Get her Jade Viper.

00:12:54So, where would you like to go?

00:12:55Apothecary.

00:12:56I want to go in the secret fucking disappearing hole.

00:12:58I want to go in the secret hole too.

00:13:00I think we should go to the apothecary

00:13:01then to the hole.

00:13:01Yes.

00:13:02Because the hole's going to be there.

00:13:03Yeah.

00:13:03We don't know what that hole's going to take.

00:13:04Exactly.

00:13:05The hole?

00:13:05Oh, that's true.

00:13:06I've been to the hole.

00:13:09You don't come out the way you came in.

00:13:11You're a different person when you leave the hole.

00:13:14Okay.

00:13:14Yeah.

00:13:15So, we should stock up at the apothecary first, y'all.

00:13:17Yes.

00:13:18Y'all don't want to jump into...

00:13:19We got to get our things.

00:13:21I like to window shop.

00:13:23Girl, what if Nyreth is in the fucking apothecary

00:13:25and we're fucking...

00:13:26Oh, no.

00:13:27Okay.

00:13:27Yeah, let's check it out.

00:13:28We're going to go to the Mariah Carey apothecary.

00:13:30There we go.

00:13:32We're going to the apothecary.

00:13:33You walk to the apothecary and you see that behind the counter

00:13:36there is a potion chemist, alchemist.

00:13:40They are tall.

00:13:41They have sort of, like, beautiful, windswept hair coming back.

00:13:45And you see that their arms, like, forearms and their legs...

00:13:49At first, you're wondering what you're looking at

00:13:51and you realize that their hands and feet are solid,

00:13:54but their arms and legs are actually made of cloud.

00:13:57It was like this mist to them.

00:13:59It's sort of like part elemental, almost,

00:14:01that they're made of, like, cloud and wind.

00:14:03And they look over and say,

00:14:05Hello, I'm Kamir.

00:14:06Welcome to my shop.

00:14:07Can I offer you any samples of these wares?

00:14:11Oh, you do samples?

00:14:13Yeah!

00:14:13Free samples?

00:14:14You see, they open this, like, sort of shielded glass area

00:14:18and you see there's, like, swirling cauldrons

00:14:21all in sort of a chilled counter.

00:14:24And you see it's a tiny little spoon.

00:14:25It's like we're at Best in Rome.

00:14:28Wait, so there's 32 flavors of potions?

00:14:30His whole body's clowned.

00:14:32Yeah, a little bit of the strawberry healing,

00:14:34a little bit of the...

00:14:35You see that they, looking up at you,

00:14:37are very excited to sort of sample some out.

00:14:40And they go, yes, absolutely.

00:14:41So we do offer samples,

00:14:43but what can I ask who you're looking for?

00:14:45What are you in the market for?

00:14:46We have a very...

00:14:47We are competing in the California Olympics 2024,

00:14:52and we are going to be really hurt when we compete,

00:14:56so we want things that are going to...

00:14:57We don't want to give away our information.

00:14:58What if he's on the bad side?

00:14:59But she had to...

00:15:00By 25.

00:15:01By 25.

00:15:01You've been in the fantasy of...

00:15:03You could just say...

00:15:04Okay, I should say, my friend is wild.

00:15:07We're going to be in a fight.

00:15:09We're not saying who, but we use this to...

00:15:11Ah, so you're adventurer.

00:15:14Oh, yeah.

00:15:14We're treating it.

00:15:15We're not athletes.

00:15:15A little bit.

00:15:16We're going to need protection.

00:15:18Yeah.

00:15:19Correct?

00:15:19Protection and strength.

00:15:20I want, like, a healing potion.

00:15:22Yeah.

00:15:22So it's going to heal.

00:15:23Oh, healing is very doable.

00:15:26You see, it goes over and opens up a separate sort of counter,

00:15:29and you see that there are rows and rows of...

00:15:31It's, like, the most popular flavor, right?

00:15:33So, like, rows and rows of healing potions,

00:15:35and says, these are most modestly priced,

00:15:38our 10 gold pieces each.

00:15:40Damn!

00:15:40We have a more, shall we say, potent brew for 25,

00:15:46and then takes out a very small, gilded box,

00:15:50unlocks the boss.

00:15:51There's a velvet bag inside,

00:15:53undoes a golden string on the bag inside.

00:15:56Can't have the string.

00:15:57And then takes it and opens it,

00:15:59and there's four small vials just gleaming with red light.

00:16:06Each of these vials is 100 gold pieces.

00:16:09A hundred!

00:16:10Girl!

00:16:11Okay, well, can I ask you?

00:16:13I have something.

00:16:13Do you purchase?

00:16:15Oh, do we bartern?

00:16:16Yes.

00:16:16Well, this is the fabulous marketplace of Mitali,

00:16:22so, yes, we can see if we can strike a deal.

00:16:24So, I have this bag of runes.

00:16:28What?

00:16:29I just want to tell him about them.

00:16:30Is that going to take them from us?

00:16:31Why are you so secretive?

00:16:32You have trust issues.

00:16:35Look at her mother.

00:16:37Exactly.

00:16:38Shit.

00:16:38I have this bag of runes made from bones,

00:16:41and they can tell you if you're,

00:16:44if you ask a question,

00:16:45it'll tell you if it'll be a good fortune

00:16:46or if it'll be a bad fortune.

00:16:48I can't use it now.

00:16:49It only works at sunset.

00:16:50So, if you want,

00:16:51I can come back and show you at sunset,

00:16:52but what do you think this would be worth for you?

00:16:56May I inspect?

00:16:57Yeah, of course.

00:16:58Takes out a small, sort of glittering gem eyeglass.

00:17:03Fabulous.

00:17:04Well.

00:17:05Are all original runes.

00:17:07Incredible.

00:17:08And these are all dragon's teeth.

00:17:09Yeah.

00:17:0917 carat.

00:17:10I would be happy to part with these for,

00:17:14I can give you,

00:17:15if you're looking for cash,

00:17:16I can give you 40 gold pieces.

00:17:1940?

00:17:19Come on.

00:17:2050 is a little.

00:17:21That's only two of the vials.

00:17:22I can give,

00:17:23I can,

00:17:24I can go up to a hundred store credit.

00:17:27Why don't you use that magic thing you used

00:17:33to get the lower price for the red vials?

00:17:36Don't we have like a spell you can use?

00:17:38Honestly,

00:17:39I don't know,

00:17:40but Twyla needs to use the bathroom.

00:17:42Okay, great.

00:17:43So Twyla walks up to Khmer and says,

00:17:46In Gaelic,

00:17:49that means may I use the bathroom.

00:17:52You see,

00:17:53Khmer looks at you and goes,

00:17:54Does Twyla add in the explanation

00:18:03of what she's saying

00:18:04or just the Gaelic?

00:18:05Twyla says that

00:18:06and then she looks over.

00:18:07That means may I use the bathroom in Gaelic.

00:18:10Khmer looks and says,

00:18:12I think your friend is having a stroke.

00:18:14I think something should happen.

00:18:14She's asking if she can use the restroom,

00:18:16but she's asking in Gaelic.

00:18:18Ah,

00:18:19sure,

00:18:20absolutely.

00:18:21Yes,

00:18:22by all means,

00:18:22it's right in the back.

00:18:23Okay.

00:18:24Twyla goes to the back,

00:18:25uses the bathroom,

00:18:26flushes,

00:18:27comes out going like this.

00:18:29All right,

00:18:29ladies.

00:18:32So what are we going to do?

00:18:34There was no sneaky thing

00:18:36you wanted to do in the bathroom?

00:18:40There was no,

00:18:41it wasn't a plan to get back there

00:18:44and then do some skullduggery in the back?

00:18:46No.

00:18:48I washed my hair.

00:18:48You just felt that now was the time

00:18:50that Twyla really needed to go.

00:18:52You know what?

00:18:53Brave,

00:18:53profound,

00:18:54and perfect

00:18:55because we see all these adventures

00:18:57and it's never remarked on

00:18:59when people use the bathroom

00:19:00and that's fucked up.

00:19:01That's fucked up.

00:19:02People need to shit and piss

00:19:03and I want to see that

00:19:04in more of our media.

00:19:06This wasn't a poo-poo.

00:19:07This was just a pee-pee.

00:19:08Just a pee-pee.

00:19:08Fairies don't poop.

00:19:09At all?

00:19:11Ever.

00:19:11And how do you get rid of your food?

00:19:13Every fairy's just backed up.

00:19:14It's just so crazy.

00:19:15Not regular.

00:19:16Let me be clear.

00:19:17They biologically can.

00:19:19It's just a cultural thing.

00:19:21We're so tense.

00:19:23Welcome back.

00:19:26I thought you were holding

00:19:28on that tired gust of wind over here.

00:19:29You were really holding it

00:19:30and I could see

00:19:32that was stressing you out.

00:19:33Yeah,

00:19:33so Camille says,

00:19:34I can offer store credit

00:19:36or if you like,

00:19:38if you're looking for

00:19:38a more adventuring

00:19:40on a budget sort of look,

00:19:44you see they point over

00:19:46at a deep red canvas satchel

00:19:50with these big brass clasps on it

00:19:52and above it,

00:19:53it just says mystery bag

00:19:55and you see the Camille says,

00:19:57occasionally in the potion brewing.

00:20:00I want to know what's in it first.

00:20:02What's up with it?

00:20:03I mean.

00:20:03Occasionally,

00:20:04while making potions,

00:20:05there can be accidents in labeling.

00:20:07Every potion in here

00:20:09is a functional working potion.

00:20:12We just don't know

00:20:12exactly what they do.

00:20:14How many are in there?

00:20:15There are about 20 potions.

00:20:17Oh.

00:20:17Y'all,

00:20:18how much?

00:20:18This is...

00:20:18No,

00:20:19that's like when you find

00:20:20a pill on the floor

00:20:21and you're like,

00:20:22I wonder what it is.

00:20:23I just want to know how much.

00:20:26Yeah,

00:20:26we want to know how much.

00:20:28For you,

00:20:29marvelous adventurers,

00:20:31let's say 25 gold pieces.

00:20:34So listen,

00:20:35if I trade in the rooms,

00:20:36we can each get

00:20:37this remarkable healing potion

00:20:40and for five more runes,

00:20:42we can get the mystery bag.

00:20:46Oh,

00:20:46because each rune

00:20:47is going to be 20 gold pieces.

00:20:49Okay,

00:20:49we have five.

00:20:5080.

00:20:50And then another,

00:20:51for the runes,

00:20:53then we just need

00:20:54five more gold pieces.

00:20:55Why don't you?

00:20:56You don't have any spells.

00:20:56It's a magic spell

00:20:57to get the price down

00:20:59on the red potion.

00:21:01So I can try,

00:21:03but my fear is that

00:21:04this place is a place of magic

00:21:06and they might be hip to me

00:21:07because you remember

00:21:09what happened last time

00:21:10we tried to get slick

00:21:11in a magic shop.

00:21:12I hope Kamir can't hear us

00:21:15whispering.

00:21:16I know.

00:21:17Well,

00:21:17you have a very deep

00:21:18rumbling voice.

00:21:20Rumble,

00:21:20rumble,

00:21:21rumble,

00:21:21rumble.

00:21:21You both say this

00:21:22and Kamir's looking over

00:21:23at Twyla being like,

00:21:24so anything fun

00:21:25happened back there?

00:21:26Um,

00:21:27I like that you had

00:21:28this.

00:21:28Yeah,

00:21:28we're rolling.

00:21:30Yes.

00:21:30We have the incense,

00:21:32we have some candles

00:21:32we can light

00:21:33and I also am thinking

00:21:34about when we found it.

00:21:34Do you have the time?

00:21:36Yes,

00:21:36hold on a second.

00:21:36Takes out a stopwatch.

00:21:38As he does,

00:21:38everyone give me

00:21:39a perception check.

00:21:44Oh,

00:21:4513.

00:21:4726.

00:21:4815.

00:21:49Three.

00:21:50Troianne,

00:21:50you've seen this stopwatch

00:21:51before.

00:21:52Three?

00:21:53Three.

00:21:53What?

00:21:54Takes it out.

00:21:54I've seen a stopwatch

00:21:55before.

00:21:56She didn't know

00:21:56how to read it though.

00:21:57About 10.30.

00:21:5810.30 in the morning.

00:21:59In the morning.

00:22:00The stopwatch,

00:22:00the stopwatch.

00:22:01The stopwatch you've seen

00:22:02before the last time

00:22:02you saw it,

00:22:03it was on a gnomish

00:22:05Baroness's hat.

00:22:06The little,

00:22:07the little clocky girl.

00:22:08It's always the clocky girl.

00:22:09Clocky girl.

00:22:10Clock-o-rella.

00:22:11You better clock on me.

00:22:12We're gonna,

00:22:13we're gonna,

00:22:13we're gonna shop around

00:22:14a little bit,

00:22:15but we are definitely

00:22:16gonna be coming back

00:22:17to you

00:22:18before we leave town.

00:22:19100%.

00:22:20Wonderful.

00:22:20Are y'all cool with that?

00:22:21Wait,

00:22:21can we get it now?

00:22:23I'll tell you outside.

00:22:24Okay.

00:22:24All right,

00:22:24thank you,

00:22:25thank you so much.

00:22:25Of course.

00:22:26Please come back.

00:22:27Thank you so much.

00:22:28I'm gonna grab my runes.

00:22:29Thanks,

00:22:29come here.

00:22:30I think he is a come here.

00:22:31Come here.

00:22:32Is he,

00:22:32is he?

00:22:33No,

00:22:33their name is come here.

00:22:33Oh,

00:22:34the name is come here.

00:22:34Come here,

00:22:34come here.

00:22:35Come here.

00:22:35Not from Cambodia?

00:22:36So we're,

00:22:37so we're,

00:22:37we're outside.

00:22:38We're outside.

00:22:39It can't be.

00:22:39I was gonna just use

00:22:42the runes one last time

00:22:43to ask if,

00:22:44if this is a good plan.

00:22:46It's 1030 in the morning.

00:22:47That's why I said

00:22:47we come back.

00:22:49What if we don't go back

00:22:50after we go in the hole though?

00:22:51We don't know what's,

00:22:51where that's gonna take us.

00:22:52Well,

00:22:52we won't go into the hole yet

00:22:54because we don't know

00:22:54where the hole takes us.

00:22:55But ladies,

00:22:56thank you so much

00:22:57for like going in there

00:22:58because I really needed

00:22:59to go to the bathroom.

00:23:01We got you,

00:23:01girl.

00:23:02Anything else,

00:23:03like piss or shit anywhere,

00:23:04let us know.

00:23:05You point to the building

00:23:06you want to shit in

00:23:07and we're gonna get you

00:23:07up in there

00:23:08and we're gonna,

00:23:09cause I know you don't

00:23:10poop very often.

00:23:10I think I'll poop in the hole.

00:23:11So that's my,

00:23:15that's my idea.

00:23:16We can just wait a little bit

00:23:17around sunset

00:23:18and then we can just

00:23:19use the runes one last time.

00:23:21To find out if shopping

00:23:21for him is a good idea?

00:23:22If getting this mystery bag,

00:23:25it costs us five gold,

00:23:27gold pieces.

00:23:28So we basically get

00:23:29four very strong potions

00:23:30and,

00:23:32or healing potions,

00:23:33which will probably be,

00:23:34but we don't know

00:23:35what the red ones do.

00:23:35No,

00:23:35we get four strong

00:23:36healing potions for sure.

00:23:37Yeah.

00:23:38And then 20 random ass potions

00:23:41that may or may not be fierce.

00:23:44And to be clear,

00:23:45so Camille was offering

00:23:46a hundred gold pieces

00:23:47for the bag of runes.

00:23:49The whole bag.

00:23:50The whole bag.

00:23:51Yeah.

00:23:52And then each vial

00:23:53was a hundred by itself.

00:23:54Oh,

00:23:55I thought each vial was 20.

00:23:56You have to use

00:23:56the magic spell on.

00:23:58Oh,

00:23:59we can also ask,

00:23:59we can also ask

00:24:00the bag of runes

00:24:01if using suggestion

00:24:02would be,

00:24:02would yield a high return.

00:24:04We could ask that question too.

00:24:05Cause I'm afraid

00:24:05of doing it in a magic shop.

00:24:07Just,

00:24:08I just,

00:24:08from,

00:24:09from Nyreth,

00:24:09we learned that

00:24:10engaging in magic

00:24:11in a shop that's full of,

00:24:13they have more potions

00:24:13than we have.

00:24:14They have more spells

00:24:14than we have.

00:24:15Well.

00:24:16And no stealing this time,

00:24:17ladies.

00:24:17I don't want to be

00:24:18considered a thief.

00:24:18Well,

00:24:18I'm not saying no stealing.

00:24:19Well,

00:24:20I do a persuasion.

00:24:21How much,

00:24:22you have a lot of persuasion,

00:24:23don't you?

00:24:23My persuasion is at plus eight.

00:24:25I'm two.

00:24:26I'm plus five.

00:24:27I'm plus three.

00:24:29Got it.

00:24:29I can't persuade anybody,

00:24:31anything.

00:24:34Okay.

00:24:35All right.

00:24:35So now we're going into,

00:24:36you want to,

00:24:37you want to go to a,

00:24:37go in the hole

00:24:38and see what's going on.

00:24:39Is there an armor?

00:24:42Is there a weapon shop

00:24:43around here?

00:24:43Armory?

00:24:43Yeah,

00:24:44there is.

00:24:44There was one.

00:24:45Let's go check that one out

00:24:46real quick.

00:24:46Let's see what's in there.

00:24:47Like for shields and things?

00:24:48Yeah,

00:24:49something.

00:24:50You walk into this cool

00:24:51little armory

00:24:52filled with weapons

00:24:53and stuff like that.

00:24:53There's a massive dwarf.

00:24:56He's got big,

00:24:57broad shoulders

00:24:58and bands of gold

00:25:00and brass.

00:25:01I thought it was a massive dwarf.

00:25:02So he's only about

00:25:04four foot six.

00:25:06Docu as fuck.

00:25:07But just broad,

00:25:08thick, thick,

00:25:09just quads for days.

00:25:11Like a choke.

00:25:12Little brick house.

00:25:13Little brick house.

00:25:14I love a man built

00:25:14like a fire hydrant.

00:25:15I think that's so sweet.

00:25:16Little mini fridge?

00:25:17Yeah.

00:25:18A smug.

00:25:18You see he's got this

00:25:19beautiful beard

00:25:21that has like tons of rings

00:25:23and gold.

00:25:24It's a jet black beard

00:25:25that comes down

00:25:25in a shaven head

00:25:26all the way past

00:25:28his sort of navel

00:25:29and then ends

00:25:30in a bunch of rings

00:25:30that are all sort of

00:25:31banded together

00:25:32with little chains.

00:25:33He turns over and says,

00:25:35Welcome.

00:25:35Welcome to the shop.

00:25:36How may I help you?

00:25:37We're here to buy,

00:25:39we want some armor.

00:25:40Do you have any armor?

00:25:41Maybe some new javelins

00:25:43or bows?

00:25:45Hammers?

00:25:46Hammers.

00:25:47Hammers.

00:25:48Absolutely.

00:25:48Do you have?

00:25:49Do you have any weapons?

00:25:50I have the bowl

00:25:51of Sealy, honey.

00:25:52Sealy.

00:25:54What's your name?

00:25:55What is it?

00:25:56Your snack bowl today?

00:25:59You see that he says,

00:26:01My name is Asif,

00:26:02by the way.

00:26:02I am the Smeen.

00:26:03That's a cute name.

00:26:05Oh, well,

00:26:05thank you very much

00:26:06for saying so.

00:26:07You seem,

00:26:09if I might be so bold

00:26:10as to say,

00:26:11a very prodigious warrior.

00:26:14I noticed by your weaponry

00:26:15and your brows.

00:26:16Please stop hitting on me.

00:26:17We're here to buy things.

00:26:18You should use

00:26:19to get a lower price.

00:26:21Oh, my God.

00:26:21Oh, thank you.

00:26:24I'm sorry.

00:26:26That was really forward.

00:26:27I'm at work.

00:26:28My wife left me.

00:26:32Oh, God.

00:26:33You're really offloading

00:26:34on when we just got here.

00:26:36It's okay.

00:26:37It's okay.

00:26:37Oh, no.

00:26:38It's okay.

00:26:39I don't know.

00:26:40I'm just...

00:26:41Can I be honest?

00:26:43Yeah.

00:26:43Well, I think you can.

00:26:45I think you've proven that.

00:26:47You're going to do it regardless.

00:26:49I'll be honest with you.

00:26:50I'm spiraling pretty hard.

00:26:51Oh, my gosh.

00:26:52I'm so sorry.

00:26:53This is Bob laughing.

00:26:54Like, Gertrude is not laughing

00:26:56with Bob.

00:26:58I've been spiraling pretty hard.

00:26:59Oh, my gosh.

00:27:00Yeah.

00:27:01Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:27:03I've been making the weapons

00:27:04and they're...

00:27:06It looks around.

00:27:08I think a lot of them don't work.

00:27:10Oh, no.

00:27:11I think they're fucked up.

00:27:13So, I'm sorry.

00:27:14I hit on you.

00:27:15I think I'm lonely.

00:27:16I think I'm going through it.

00:27:18So, are these, like, discounted, then?

00:27:20Since they're probably not great?

00:27:21You can have them.

00:27:23Oh.

00:27:24Which ones?

00:27:25Which ones?

00:27:26I don't know.

00:27:27Oh, my God.

00:27:28All of them?

00:27:29I don't know.

00:27:30Oh, my God.

00:27:30Okay, well, you have a...

00:27:31I see that's a spear of thunder there.

00:27:34Can I have that one?

00:27:35You want the thunder spear?

00:27:36Yeah.

00:27:36Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:27:37See, it goes over

00:27:38and it takes this massive, like, golden spear

00:27:41on the wall that ends in this blade

00:27:43that's, like, crackling with lightning.

00:27:44The sort of leaf of the blade

00:27:46has jagged sort of lightning edges along it.

00:27:50This is one of the few good things in the shop.

00:27:53Oh, my gosh.

00:27:54Wait a minute.

00:27:54No, I see.

00:27:56I'll take the giant air bubble

00:27:59that could hold three enemies.

00:28:02Now y'all are...

00:28:03We are taking care of it under the water.

00:28:05We're good under the water.

00:28:07I swear we're good.

00:28:08I want to use suggestions.

00:28:09Okay, you're going to use suggestions.

00:28:10Great.

00:28:10Do I need to roll something?

00:28:11Oh, no, he has to roll to resist.

00:28:12Oh, yeah.

00:28:13Oh, he's not going to give it to me now?

00:28:14Because you say...

00:28:14He probably will.

00:28:15I don't know.

00:28:15So, what is your suggestion that you cast?

00:28:17I just want to be nice to yourself.

00:28:20You've got to be kind to yourself.

00:28:22You're giving yourself a really hard time.

00:28:24And you've just got to find ways to seek joy.

00:28:27Look for more joy

00:28:28than you look for sadness in life.

00:28:32He's finding joy

00:28:33by giving us his lovely things in his store.

00:28:35We're going to give him lovely things

00:28:36and we're going to make him feel better about himself.

00:28:38Should we sing him a song?

00:28:39Well, let's see what he rolls.

00:28:42I would love it if you sang me a song.

00:28:43What are you going to sing?

00:28:45Is it one of your fae songs?

00:28:47Come dance a jig in Irish jay

00:28:50from down Killarney Way.

00:28:56Is she Irish now?

00:28:59She's so mean,

00:28:59but she identifies as Irish.

00:29:02Did she do like a study abroad in Ireland?

00:29:05What the fuck?

00:29:10Hey, Twyla visited Trinity College once.

00:29:14Really?

00:29:15She never left.

00:29:16In Dublin?

00:29:17You leave Trinity,

00:29:18but Trinity never leaves you.

00:29:20It's up the dubs, honey.

00:29:21Twyla's been up the dubs.

00:29:23Sweetie.

00:29:24She looks and says,

00:29:28just is fully weeping at that Irish tune.

00:29:32Do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

00:29:34Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

00:29:35You captured the sorrow so well.

00:29:36All right.

00:29:41I'm sorry.

00:29:43Let's get to business.

00:29:45Thunderspear, yes?

00:29:46Takes it down and says,

00:29:48you've healed something broken in me.

00:29:52The Thunderspear is yours.

00:29:54Oh, I got your song.

00:29:56Is there an appropriate time later

00:29:58that I could hit on you?

00:30:00Maybe at dusk when the sun is setting.

00:30:03Gorgeous.

00:30:04Is dusk in the morning or at night?

00:30:06I don't know.

00:30:08But I like it.

00:30:09I think dusk is in the morning.

00:30:11It's in the morning.

00:30:12Dusk is sunset, yeah.

00:30:13Oh, dusk till dawn.

00:30:14I thought it was dawn.

00:30:15Dusk till dawn.

00:30:15Dawn is the sunrise.

00:30:17No.

00:30:18What is dusk till...

00:30:19If dusk is sunset and dawn is sunset,

00:30:21what is dusk till dawn?

00:30:21All night long.

00:30:22Mm-hmm.

00:30:24All night.

00:30:25All night.

00:30:25From dusk till dawn.

00:30:26All night.

00:30:27All night.

00:30:28Do y'all remember?

00:30:29Great.

00:30:29You grab a Thunderspear

00:30:31and I'll start singing

00:30:31Lyle Richie as you go.

00:30:33All night.

00:30:34All night.

00:30:35All night.

00:30:36No bubbles for you, you see?

00:30:39We all get one, right?

00:30:40Do we all get a little gift?

00:30:42A little gift?

00:30:44Well...

00:30:45Come here.

00:30:46You...

00:30:47Wait.

00:30:48Who?

00:30:48I'm sorry.

00:30:49I was...

00:30:50You don't even know me.

00:30:51Oh.

00:30:53You will talk yourself into a hole.

00:30:55Sang me that beautiful song.

00:30:57You don't even know my name.

00:30:58I'm going to close early

00:30:59and I'm going to go take some me time.

00:31:01All right?

00:31:01Okay.

00:31:01That's important.

00:31:02Have your spear.

00:31:02You are shepherding it out.

00:31:04You all look...

00:31:05Behold, by the way,

00:31:06in the marketplace,

00:31:06someone walking towards

00:31:08that secret entrance.

00:31:09As I look around,

00:31:10you see a familiar jackal head.

00:31:12As Nairith's future man

00:31:15and ventures and disappears

00:31:16into that area by the barrels.

00:31:18We're going to go...

00:31:19I like Nairith.

00:31:20I like him.

00:31:21We know you do.

00:31:21You keep on trying to get us...

00:31:22Because I think you have

00:31:23a secret little thing for Nairith.

00:31:24I think Nairith is the first person

00:31:26that has touched your cold little heart

00:31:28in over a century.

00:31:29You know, I don't know if that's true,

00:31:30but we're going to go find out.

00:31:31I like Nairith.

00:31:32He's a father figure to me.

00:31:34Oh, that's nasty.

00:31:35Not like me.

00:31:36Jesus.

00:31:37Let's go in that hole.

00:31:38Let's go in the hole.

00:31:39Yes.

00:31:39Do we all have to go in the hole?

00:31:41Yes.

00:31:41No, we don't have to.

00:31:42Do you have to go to the bathroom again?

00:31:45What are you going to do

00:31:45outside the hole?

00:31:47I don't know.

00:31:47Get some lunch.

00:31:48I'm afraid to leave you...

00:31:49I have to be honest,

00:31:50I'm afraid to leave you alone.

00:31:51Yeah, you need parental support.

00:31:54Okay, I'll go.

00:31:55Let's...

00:31:56To the hole!

00:31:58Moving over to the barrels,

00:32:00you look in between them

00:32:02and see that there is

00:32:03just a sort of thin sliver of shadow

00:32:05that seems natural at first,

00:32:06like it would just be the area

00:32:07blocked off from the sun.

00:32:08But as you peer into it,

00:32:10it widens and widens,

00:32:11and your field of vision

00:32:12and some spell of movement

00:32:15passes you over a threshold magically.

00:32:18You can't tell whether

00:32:18you're shrinking

00:32:19or the world around you is growing,

00:32:21but suddenly,

00:32:22you stand in an archway

00:32:24in a massive subterranean area

00:32:28of the city.

00:32:29There are beautiful mosaic tiles

00:32:32in white and blue and green and red

00:32:35all throughout this vast underground area,

00:32:38tall columns.

00:32:39It's almost like an ancient Roman sewers

00:32:42or like catacombs.

00:32:43It has that feeling of massive civic structures

00:32:46that are now populated

00:32:48by different sort of curtained areas.

00:32:51You hear music playing.

00:32:53You see that there are areas

00:32:54where people are like smoking,

00:32:56like incredible smelling,

00:32:58sweet smelling,

00:32:58like fruit and like spiced tobacco.

00:33:01You see off in another corner

00:33:03that there appear to be people

00:33:05gathering around

00:33:06a massive sandy arena

00:33:08ready for a fight to start,

00:33:10like prize fighting.

00:33:11Oh, wow.

00:33:12And you see Nairith

00:33:14going into an area.

00:33:15There's like an archway

00:33:16with a pair of red curtains

00:33:18that Nairith sort of walks into

00:33:20and disappears.

00:33:21However, all around,

00:33:23you notice that there are people

00:33:24wearing these green leather vests

00:33:27that have gold brocade up them.

00:33:30And many of them have a sigil on it

00:33:32of a green serpent.

00:33:35The jade vipers.

00:33:37The jade vipers.

00:33:38And you see that one of them

00:33:39actually walks up to you

00:33:40and goes like,

00:33:41welcome, welcome, friends.

00:33:43Do you have the password?

00:33:46That's going to be up to you,

00:33:47somebody.

00:33:47Yeah, girl.

00:33:48I'll have to do magic us.

00:33:49Magic us.

00:33:49Wait, I already did.

00:33:50Or I can do the detect toss.

00:33:52Oh, you could.

00:33:53Oh, yes.

00:33:53Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:33:54Do that.

00:33:55And hear the password.

00:33:55Nine times out of ten,

00:33:56he's saying it in his head.

00:33:57But I need to do the subtle as well.

00:33:59You'll do a sorcery point

00:34:01and then do detect thoughts?

00:34:03Yes.

00:34:03Incredible.

00:34:04So this is a perfect,

00:34:06you pull this off.

00:34:08And of course,

00:34:08he just asked for it,

00:34:09so he's thinking of it in his head.

00:34:10The password that he's thinking of

00:34:11in his head is silverwood.

00:34:13Oh, you mean silverwood,

00:34:14the password.

00:34:15Beautiful, right this way.

00:34:17And as he does,

00:34:17he says,

00:34:18welcome, welcome.

00:34:20Food, wine, sport,

00:34:21entertainment,

00:34:22everything you can wish for.

00:34:23For free?

00:34:25Wow.

00:34:25You're a guest of the jade vipers,

00:34:26so you're not?

00:34:27Yeah.

00:34:27Yes, we are.

00:34:29Can't drink wine anymore, ladies,

00:34:31because I got naked last time.

00:34:33You still have your detect thoughts going,

00:34:35and you see in his head,

00:34:37he is thinking to himself,

00:34:39where the hell is Asiya?

00:34:40She's supposed to be here by now.

00:34:41I'm only supposed to work

00:34:42until 10 a.m.

00:34:44as he's sort of moving through this space.

00:34:46And I'm holding the information.

00:34:47I'm not telling you all right now,

00:34:48but I will tell you all soon,

00:34:49but I'm currently holding the information.

00:34:51And it's about 10.43 right now,

00:34:53I'm assuming.

00:34:53Yes.

00:34:54So I have a,

00:34:55okay, hear me out.

00:34:57This might be wild.

00:34:58If they're doing prize fighting,

00:35:01could we win some money?

00:35:02Like fighting here?

00:35:04Yeah.

00:35:05Well, we got the fighter.

00:35:06We got the fighter.

00:35:07We're all fighters.

00:35:08We're all great warriors.

00:35:09You can't take a punch.

00:35:11I mean, if it's in a cage,

00:35:15I would rather not engage

00:35:16in the physical activity,

00:35:17but I could do some coaching from the side.

00:35:20And I can heal from the side.

00:35:22So we could, like,

00:35:23gamble our money in this prize fight.

00:35:25But do we need more money right now?

00:35:27Yes.

00:35:28We're broke.

00:35:29We can't afford to stop.

00:35:30Oh, yeah, to get the push-ins, yeah.

00:35:31Should we gamble on Asiya?

00:35:33Because we want Asiya to win, right?

00:35:35But is she about to fight?

00:35:36Yeah, it's about to be the duel

00:35:37between...

00:35:38What, right?

00:35:39Yeah.

00:35:39The duel between Asiya and Kark.

00:35:42Yeah.

00:35:43Kark.

00:35:43Listen, we could probably...

00:35:45We could from the side

00:35:46do a little magic to help her out.

00:35:48To help, yeah.

00:35:49Like, what if she grew in size?

00:35:52What if the other person shrunk?

00:35:56We could stack the deck.

00:35:58That's true.

00:35:59From that prize fighting area,

00:36:01you, in fact, do here.

00:36:04All right, everybody.

00:36:05Welcome to the Mitali murder match.

00:36:09Make some noise for the reigning champion.

00:36:13You know her.

00:36:13You love her.

00:36:14It's the new Princess Asiya.

00:36:18Woo!

00:36:19And you see the other guy whips around and looks.

00:36:21You see Asiya sort of walks into the ring.

00:36:23She's still got this covered up,

00:36:25this sort of, like, thing.

00:36:26And you see the guys with the vests

00:36:27all have this big jade bifurk tattoo on their arm.

00:36:30Is it too late to bet?

00:36:31Is it too late?

00:36:31Is it too late to bet?

00:36:33You have until I'm done announcing.

00:36:35Great question.

00:36:36Any other questions?

00:36:37Let's put it all in.

00:36:38Let's do it all.

00:36:39Let's risk it all.

00:36:39What?

00:36:40I know.

00:36:40Let's risk all of it.

00:36:41We're going to stack the deck.

00:36:42Okay, no.

00:36:43If I've learned anything from Jeopardy,

00:36:45I have 7.5.

00:36:46I'm going to do 7 point.

00:36:49I'm putting in 4.

00:36:50I'm putting in 4.

00:36:50How much are you putting in?

00:36:51I'm putting 7.4.

00:36:52I'll put in 10.

00:36:53We're at 14.

00:36:547.

00:36:55We're at 21.

00:36:562.

00:36:58How much do you have?

00:36:59How much fucking money do you have?

00:37:01Okay, this is very Asian of me.

00:37:03We're at 21.

00:37:04How much do you have?

00:37:067.5, baby.

00:37:06But I'll give you two.

00:37:07Okay.

00:37:08You can have 7.

00:37:10Okay, we're at 28.

00:37:12We're putting in 28.

00:37:13We're putting 28 gold pieces on the line.

00:37:16In this corner, straight from Hammerholds,

00:37:20it's the new lord and war chief of the Wormspine Mountain.

00:37:25It's your voice.

00:37:26Give it up for Korn!

00:37:28Your original suitor from your masquerade ball comes out,

00:37:32and you see that he stands there and says,

00:37:34Do not announce this as though it were some sport.

00:37:40This is a duel for honor's sake and honor's sake alone.

00:37:43You hear that?

00:37:44Put your head off.

00:37:45Yeah.

00:37:45Incredible.

00:37:48You see nearby, there is a bookie who's like taking bets from people,

00:37:51like as coming over, they're depositing coins,

00:37:53looks up at you and says,

00:37:55You'd like to pay some bet?

00:37:5628 gold pieces, please.

00:37:57Oh, no.

00:37:58On a SIA.

00:38:00Wait, should I give you a 50?

00:38:0128 gold pieces on a SIA?

00:38:02You have 50 what?

00:38:03No, point.

00:38:04Should we just give up the next one?

00:38:05Let's just go all in.

00:38:0728 is good.

00:38:07We got 28.

00:38:08She's not going to kill.

00:38:09Wait, what do you have 50 what?

00:38:10You have 50 what?

00:38:1150 cents.

00:38:12Half.

00:38:12I have a half.

00:38:13Oh, yes.

00:38:1328.

00:38:14You have a half a gold brick.

00:38:17Oh, 28 and a half gold pieces on a SIA, please.

00:38:20You don't have half?

00:38:21No, I don't think I did.

00:38:23A SIA comes out and you see that she looks at Karg and says,

00:38:27I do not wish to hurt you, but I must avenge my honor.

00:38:33I must or have to let her know how much I care.

00:38:37And you see that SIA goes, I, I, let me be clear.

00:38:41I, I don't, I think there's another way to resolve this.

00:38:44Shouldn't we listen to what her choice would be about who she wants?

00:38:49If she chooses you, I acknowledge it that.

00:38:53And you see Karg says.

00:38:53I like a SIA.

00:38:54It says, Karg goes, we've already committed ourselves to this path.

00:39:00There can be no turning back.

00:39:02So he goes, okay, how good are you at fighting exactly?

00:39:05And reaches and you see she has a little ring on her hand that she goes to.

00:39:10Oh, it's the boon ring.

00:39:11You see that she, you can see fear on her face.

00:39:14Like she might use that boon.

00:39:16She better not.

00:39:17And you see the bell rings.

00:39:19I need everybody here to roll initiative.

00:39:20Oh my gosh.

00:39:22Girl, you got to.

00:39:22What kind of spells you out?

00:39:23We need to do something goofy to do, to Karg.

00:39:26Like make him shit himself.

00:39:28You can go and be like, Karg, please don't.

00:39:30I wouldn't want this.

00:39:31Pull down your top when he's, when he's facing you.

00:39:34It'll, you know what I mean?

00:39:35And then I can, it just guides myself to you.

00:39:37Initiative, yeah.

00:39:38Top, top, middle.

00:39:39Oh my gosh.

00:39:40I have a.

00:39:42Okay, I rolled a two and I have a plus 14, so 16.

00:39:45I have a nine.

00:39:46I have a 12.

00:39:4812.

00:39:49I rolled a two, honey.

00:39:51You rolled a two?

00:39:52What did princess get?

00:39:5314.

00:39:54An eight.

00:39:55Eight for princess.

00:39:56Okay, Twyla, you are first to act as the fight is first starting.

00:40:01Oh my gosh, why?

00:40:03So you may not, if you jump into the ring, they'll probably call the fight and pull everybody out.

00:40:09Thank you for saying that, our friend.

00:40:10You got to give him a guardrail.

00:40:13We're going to bring him up up soft.

00:40:14Do it.

00:40:16But, is there anything you'd like to do from the sidelines looking at this?

00:40:20Magic.

00:40:20Do you have any spells, Mary?

00:40:22I know.

00:40:23Yeah.

00:40:23I would like, can I?

00:40:25Wait, can we talk about it before you say it out loud?

00:40:29Okay, hunter's mark is only able to use by me, or can I just put a hunter's mark on somebody?

00:40:34You know, we've done little bendings of rules in the past.

00:40:38If you want to give me a nature check, we'll call it a DC 15 nature check.

00:40:42Okay.

00:40:43So, my idea was to put a hunter's mark on karg.

00:40:47I think that's a freebie.

00:40:48I could also use the reduce.

00:40:53I can either reduce karg or enlarge.

00:40:56I think it's reduce, reuse, or recycle.

00:40:58Yeah.

00:40:59Because I think when you reduce.

00:41:01They're weaker, and when you enlarge, they're stronger.

00:41:03Yeah.

00:41:04I feel like that's very obvious.

00:41:05Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

00:41:06I think that's too obvious.

00:41:07That someone is interfering.

00:41:08Okay, that's true.

00:41:09Unless that's one of their own spells.

00:41:11That's true.

00:41:11Or, on will kind of gone dolgety on letras, as I run into the ring.

00:41:16No, you cannot go into the ring.

00:41:18If you run into the ring, they're going to cancel.

00:41:19Then they're going to keep our money.

00:41:20What are the spells you have?

00:41:21Oh, that's true.

00:41:22What are the spells?

00:41:23You have so many spells.

00:41:24Girl, I don't really have that.

00:41:25I have cure wounds.

00:41:27I will say, you see that there are burn marks and other things in the arena.

00:41:32You think that magic has been used here before.

00:41:35Reduce would absolutely come across as cheating, right?

00:41:39It would be like someone suddenly shrinking at the beginning of the fight.

00:41:42Enlarge, if you could make it look like Acia was doing it, would not necessarily break the rules.

00:41:48People are allowed to use magical abilities.

00:41:50You hear that?

00:41:51So we're going to do it more.

00:41:53Yes.

00:41:53On Acia.

00:41:54Not the other one.

00:41:55So Karg is going to get a hunter's mark and Acia is going to get...

00:41:59Enlarge.

00:42:00Like slightly enlarge.

00:42:02Like we don't need her to like triple in size.

00:42:05Enlarge and in charge.

00:42:06Yeah.

00:42:06Just like she can beef up just a little bit.

00:42:08Don't get crazy with the enlarge.

00:42:10Okay.

00:42:10Can you do this then?

00:42:12I'm going to just do it.

00:42:14Incredible.

00:42:14Go ahead and give me a...

00:42:16You can give me deception or sleight of hand to conceal your spell casting.

00:42:21Deception?

00:42:22That's a plus three.

00:42:23So I have a plus five.

00:42:24So I should do...

00:42:25Do sleight of hand.

00:42:26Here we go.

00:42:26Deception.

00:42:27Oh my gosh.

00:42:2712 plus five.

00:42:3317.

00:42:34Hell yes.

00:42:36Twyla, fairy magic extends from your hands, dropping stealthily to the ground, snaking between people's ankles out of sight.

00:42:44And he hits the back of a Sia's leather sandal as she steps backwards.

00:42:49And she says, now listen, I don't want you to get any right ideas because I just think the youth are really underwhelming.

00:42:55What the fuck is up?

00:42:59And you see that Karg is suddenly staring up at her.

00:43:02And she's like, yeah, yeah, running around challenging people to duels.

00:43:06We'll see how that goes.

00:43:07And she is going to act immediately after Twyla.

00:43:11Yeah, hit him, hit him.

00:43:12And that hunter's mark is on Karg.

00:43:13Okay, give me a nature check just to make sure that you can affect that.

00:43:18Call it a DC 15 nature check to see if you can pull off kind of bending the spell in this wheelchair.

00:43:22What is DC 15 more then?

00:43:23Plus five.

00:43:24So you need a ten or higher on the die.

00:43:27Ten or higher.

00:43:28Oh, mother.

00:43:29Nat one.

00:43:30Nat one.

00:43:31Nat one.

00:43:32So as you go to do the spell, I think you do successfully cast it, but it's just you.

00:43:37So just you have hunter's mark on the card.

00:43:40If you decide to randomly hit him with an arrow, you got him, girl.

00:43:43He's in a cage.

00:43:44I'm going to go get my chance.

00:43:45So he can't do anything about it.

00:43:47You see, guys, chips.

00:43:48We got chips.

00:43:49Cool.

00:43:50We're going to roll.

00:43:51Karg.

00:43:52Oh, my God.

00:43:53What?

00:43:53Mm-hmm.

00:43:54Is he going to fuck up?

00:43:55Karg rolls a nat one.

00:43:58Oh, great.

00:43:59A Sia rolls a nat one.

00:44:01Oh.

00:44:02But because she has advantage, it's actually a 12.

00:44:04Oh.

00:44:05Unbelievable.

00:44:07So you see that she leaps forward.

00:44:08Keep rolling like that when we're under the sea.

00:44:11When we're under the sea.

00:44:12See, she pins him to the ground like this.

00:44:16He wheels around.

00:44:16He's going to take an attack.

00:44:19He, though he's pinned, gets a fist, strikes a Sia.

00:44:22She takes it across the chin.

00:44:24Right off.

00:44:25And that is going to move from a Sia's turn through Karg.

00:44:29And now next is Troian.

00:44:31I'm going to use Crested Digitation.

00:44:33Mm-hmm.

00:44:33Yeah.

00:44:34That's like a simple magical trick.

00:44:35I think that we can like, kind of like Mario Kart,

00:44:38we're going to put a little ink or mud in Karg's eyes.

00:44:43Incredible.

00:44:44Go ahead and give me a spell attack.

00:44:46Mud.

00:44:47Mud.

00:44:48Like a little, like you know when you fight through a little sand,

00:44:50a little mud, you know what I mean?

00:44:51To blind him a little bit.

00:44:52I'm very familiar with fighting and throwing sand.

00:44:54Yeah.

00:44:55You know, from your time in prison.

00:44:57Yeah, exactly.

00:45:02What is that?

00:45:04It's as we say in the business, a nat one.

00:45:07Nat one.

00:45:08Why?

00:45:09So, all right.

00:45:10So Troian, you use this spell, which is very minor tricks.

00:45:14And you're like, I'm going to get mud right in his eye.

00:45:15And at the last second, a Sia turns around and says,

00:45:18this is why.

00:45:19And just gets mud right in her eyes.

00:45:21Oh, my God.

00:45:21She is blinded.

00:45:27Gertie, that's going to be you.

00:45:29I'm looking at a person who comes here a lot and goes,

00:45:31this isn't a fight to the death, is it?

00:45:33You look at, there's an old woman who just turns to you and says,

00:45:36we can only hope.

00:45:39I don't want to kill anyone, but I want to help.

00:45:41Okay, so I feel like what's going to happen now is,

00:45:45press the digitation.

00:45:47You try to fumble these cards and these nails.

00:45:49Is that something I can do to make it look like the magic is coming from a Sia?

00:45:53Well, you have subtle spells,

00:45:55so you can make the magic look like it's coming from nowhere, essentially.

00:45:59But if a lightning lure just showed up and hit someone,

00:46:03Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:46:04Would they be like, what is Thor mad at?

00:46:07Yeah.

00:46:08It might seem odd, for sure.

00:46:11Can you make him, like, fall over or something?

00:46:13Do you have, like, a...

00:46:14Yeah.

00:46:15Okay, what I have, I can, I have magic hand,

00:46:19but magic hand can grab things that are 30 feet away from you

00:46:21and cast a spell.

00:46:22You can just control the hand.

00:46:24He's magic hand, so I'm like,

00:46:25but it's nothing more than 10 pounds.

00:46:28Oh.

00:46:28I think he's about nine.

00:46:31Tiny feet.

00:46:32Okay, hold on.

00:46:34I'm not done.

00:46:35I'm not done.

00:46:36You got lots of skills.

00:46:37Girl.

00:46:38I'm going to use...

00:46:43Water breeze.

00:46:44Suggestion.

00:46:45And suggest to Karg that he not hit a woman.

00:46:54Actually, you see that...

00:46:56All right, I'm going to roll Karg's saving throw in front.

00:47:01Your DC for this is 16.

00:47:05He only gets a plus two to this roll.

00:47:06He gets a 14 or higher.

00:47:08That's a 12.

00:47:09Oh, yes.

00:47:09He fails.

00:47:10So what does Gertrude yell from this dance?

00:47:12He got to hit a woman?

00:47:14What?

00:47:15And you see, she's, like, fully blinded,

00:47:17getting mud out of her eyes.

00:47:18You got to hit a blinded woman?

00:47:19Fuck, my eyes, my eyes.

00:47:21And you see Karg's like,

00:47:22it's honor.

00:47:24It's a path of honor.

00:47:25We're both suitors.

00:47:28It's actually kind of progressive for me

00:47:30to hit a woman right now, don't you think?

00:47:32And that makes him pause

00:47:34as the suggestion spell takes a moment.

00:47:37And you see, princess, that is your turn.

00:47:40What do I do?

00:47:41I don't have any magic.

00:47:42But he's into you.

00:47:45Show your titties.

00:47:47Oh, my God.

00:47:47Should I show my titties?

00:47:49Yes, I think so.

00:47:51Yeah.

00:47:51Okay.

00:47:52Because I think he would be like,

00:47:55show the tits.

00:47:57I'll be using titty distraction.

00:48:02Great.

00:48:03Great.

00:48:04Let me, okay, so you go to flash the arena.

00:48:07Can I ask what your charisma is?

00:48:09Your charisma modifier?

00:48:10It's high.

00:48:11Okay.

00:48:11Okay, there it is.

00:48:12Um, five plus two.

00:48:16Seven.

00:48:18Okay.

00:48:19Oh, five plus two.

00:48:23Still wearing it for underneath.

00:48:25You flag.

00:48:25I'm gonna roll, I'm gonna roll a wisdom saving throw for Karg in front of the board.

00:48:32That's a six.

00:48:33Oh.

00:48:34Okay.

00:48:34I think what happens is you go to flash him.

00:48:37And as you do, your massive armored brassiere comes up over your face.

00:48:43So he can't tell who you are.

00:48:46So he doesn't know that there's a meaningful connection here.

00:48:50He just goes like, I don't, I think if a woman is a combatant, then don't you respect her?

00:48:55Oh, titties.

00:48:55I think you, look, I think there's, um.

00:48:58You tried for success.

00:48:59Barely a glance.

00:49:02I'm screaming.

00:49:04This is chaos.

00:49:07That's Luke chaos.

00:49:08He has been hit one time, right?

00:49:09Yes, he has.

00:49:11He has.

00:49:11Twilight goes back to the top of the order.

00:49:14Your turn as princess is flashing and Asia's getting mud out of her eyes.

00:49:18Don't throw any more mud on anyone.

00:49:20Like, y'all, the only other thing I can do is enlarge again, right?

00:49:28Well, you have actions you can take.

00:49:29You can do things that aren't on there.

00:49:31You can, like, you can yell to Asia.

00:49:36Try the beast mark again?

00:49:37Yeah, you want to try hunter's mark again?

00:49:38Give me another nature check.

00:49:39Oh, hunter's mark.

00:49:40Sorry.

00:49:41I mean, should I summon bunny bear just randomly?

00:49:44No.

00:49:45No.

00:49:46Two interference.

00:49:47I only want to see bunny bear.

00:49:48That's okay.

00:49:48You just want to say hi.

00:49:49Should I miss something when I was just walking around town?

00:49:51Yeah, you should have.

00:49:52We could have gotten him a snack.

00:49:53We could have.

00:49:56Seven.

00:49:57Plus nature.

00:49:58Plus five.

00:49:59Twelve.

00:50:00So, again, you try to move the hunter's mark off of yourself.

00:50:02You don't feel it connecting with Karg in this moment.

00:50:05But, Asia, you see her dig down.

00:50:08She starts to go for the ring on her hand.

00:50:12We got to stop that.

00:50:13Does anyone call something out in this moment as she goes for the ring?

00:50:17Okay.

00:50:18We're pausing time, right?

00:50:19Pausing time.

00:50:21We.

00:50:22Okay.

00:50:23You.

00:50:24I think you have the most power to stop this woman in her tracks.

00:50:27But it's not her turn.

00:50:28Should.

00:50:28Oh, my gosh.

00:50:29Can I.

00:50:29I just.

00:50:30Just scream.

00:50:31Should I go.

00:50:32Oh, my God.

00:50:33Princess.

00:50:34What are you screaming?

00:50:34Princess loves you.

00:50:35Princess chose you.

00:50:37Or should I say.

00:50:38Because.

00:50:39Princess chose you.

00:50:40See, it doesn't know that we're here.

00:50:41So, we're going to say.

00:50:41Oh, my God.

00:50:42Princess is here.

00:50:43Princess is here.

00:50:44Is that Princess Fauxhammer?

00:50:45Yeah.

00:50:46Okay.

00:50:47All right.

00:50:47So, you yell out.

00:50:48Oh, my God.

00:50:49Is that Princess fucking Fauxhammer?

00:50:52And.

00:50:54Acia goes.

00:50:54Princess.

00:50:55And stops going for the ring.

00:50:57It is her turn.

00:50:58She goes.

00:50:59I have to end this now.

00:51:01Knowing that she is partially blinded.

00:51:04She.

00:51:05How did that happen?

00:51:05She grabs Karg as well as she can and is going to try to disqualify him by throwing him out of the ring.

00:51:17Okay, work.

00:51:18Okay, stay.

00:51:19Wait, I didn't get to do anything else.

00:51:20She's going to roll Athletics.

00:51:21He can't hit her, but he can resist being thrown.

00:51:24Oh, God.

00:51:2514.

00:51:26Oh.

00:51:2714.

00:51:28With his plus six, that is a dirty 20.

00:51:32Acia has a plus four to her Athletics, but is rolling with advantage.

00:51:35So, she needs one of these to be a 16 or higher.

00:51:38And it will be.

00:51:39Actually, they're both going to be 16 or higher.

00:51:42That's the crazy part.

00:51:45A one and a four.

00:51:47Or four and one is how you look at it, you know?

00:51:50You see that she goes.

00:51:51Damn.

00:51:52Princess, I love you!

00:51:54Grabs Karg by the trousers and the shirt, goes to throw him, and fully rips his pants and shirt off.

00:52:00He is butt naked, completely ass out on the ground.

00:52:08Jesus.

00:52:09Twilight, Twilight gulps.

00:52:10As he screams at the force of pants ripping up his crotch off his body.

00:52:15Jesus Christ.

00:52:16Twilight just stares and gulps.

00:52:18This is a mess.

00:52:19Troy, that's your turn again.

00:52:21I didn't get to roll for anything.

00:52:23I don't know why we moved on.

00:52:25Oh, you did your Hunter's Mark.

00:52:27Yeah, but I could do something else, remember?

00:52:29Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:52:30What do you want to do?

00:52:30What?

00:52:31Oh, my gosh.

00:52:32Is this place lit up by candles?

00:52:34It is.

00:52:34Oh, my gosh.

00:52:35You know what she...

00:52:36Porches, candles, everything like that.

00:52:37Okay, so, um, should we just buy a moment to discuss and I could just turn off the candles?

00:52:42I have that power.

00:52:45You can turn off candles?

00:52:46Baby, I can snuff light.

00:52:48Let's snuff the candles.

00:52:50And everybody's in darkness.

00:52:52Wait, wait, wait, wait!

00:52:54Why?

00:52:55Then we can beat this shit out of cars.

00:52:57Yes, and get them out of the way.

00:52:58Oh, wait, I can...

00:52:59Wait, wait, wait, I can see through darkness.

00:53:02Yes, and they won't see us do our thing.

00:53:04It'll just be gone.

00:53:05Well, let me read my darkness spell, because we can go in there and just kick his motherfucking

00:53:09ass.

00:53:09Twilight, you would like to snuff all the lights.

00:53:11Wait, no, no, not yet.

00:53:13Wait, hold on just a second.

00:53:14You're too eager.

00:53:15In theory, but you have a plan.

00:53:17I can see total darkness as well.

00:53:19You can see a candle.

00:53:20Well, I think I can only see through magical darkness.

00:53:22I can see the total darkness.

00:53:23Okay.

00:53:23You will both be able to see through this darkness.

00:53:25Me?

00:53:25Yes, you as well.

00:53:26Okay, got it.

00:53:26And then you're next, right?

00:53:28Yeah, I'm next.

00:53:29Okay.

00:53:29All right, so you snuff all the lights.

00:53:33I just go...

00:53:34Karg attempts to get his hands back on Acia, cannot seem to do it.

00:53:41You hear him reach down and draw a steel blade.

00:53:44Oh, my God.

00:53:46When I get in there, fuck him up.

00:53:47Okay.

00:53:48Troian, it is your turn.

00:53:49So I'm going to do an unarmed strike.

00:53:52Okay, yeah.

00:53:53And I am going to roll and then add my attack on this.

00:53:57Yeah, go for it.

00:53:58We'll see.

00:53:59Eight plus five, so 13.

00:54:0213 is a hit.

00:54:03Okay.

00:54:04What do I roll?

00:54:04A d6?

00:54:05I'll roll a d6, yeah.

00:54:06D6 won't act, uh...

00:54:08The eight, noob.

00:54:10Three.

00:54:11Three.

00:54:12Okay, copy that.

00:54:13And then plus your dexterity modifier, so three plus five, I believe.

00:54:17Yes.

00:54:18So you run up.

00:54:19That's just one attack.

00:54:19Go ahead and roll your next attack.

00:54:21Come on.

00:54:22Okay, 18.

00:54:23That's going to hit.

00:54:24Okay, go ahead and roll damage.

00:54:26That doesn't count because it fell on the table.

00:54:28Because it was a one.

00:54:32Still a one.

00:54:33Still a one.

00:54:33Six.

00:54:34Screaming.

00:54:35Gotcha, gotcha.

00:54:36Okay, so that's another six.

00:54:38Okay, so you run up and just start kicking the shit out of Karg in the dark.

00:54:43Gertie, that is your turn as well.

00:54:45You guys are all going to act basically all together.

00:54:47So Gertie and Princess can also go.

00:54:49But Gertie, you're first.

00:54:50Okay, so what I'm going to do is...

00:54:53I'm going to use a little bit of magic to make my voice sound like Asiya's.

00:54:58Great.

00:54:58And I'm going to say, this attack is coming from me, Asiya!

00:55:02The princess of the Jane Viper.

00:55:07And it sounds just like her.

00:55:09It's kind of crazy.

00:55:10But she's hiding the Jane Viper.

00:55:12Oh, wait.

00:55:12Did she wait?

00:55:13Yeah.

00:55:13Oh, my God.

00:55:14Wait.

00:55:14Okay.

00:55:16Give me deception.

00:55:17You just did.

00:55:19Give me deception.

00:55:20I didn't know she was hiding what she did.

00:55:22I don't know how to judge you covered.

00:55:25It's a two.

00:55:29What the fuck are you, Jane?

00:55:31Jesus Christ.

00:55:33I had to discuss with the group when I was right there.

00:55:34You hear multiple people in the crowd say,

00:55:38Asiya, what are you doing in the stands?

00:55:40Get back in the ring.

00:55:41You have given up her identity.

00:55:49You see someone else says, Jade Viper.

00:55:51The princess is a Jade Viper.

00:55:53And then, princess, that is your turn.

00:55:55I didn't get to do it.

00:55:56That was my whole move.

00:55:57Oh, yeah.

00:55:57That was just an exception.

00:55:58Yeah.

00:55:58Do you have a spell you want to catch?

00:55:59Yeah.

00:56:00I want to do a lightning lure.

00:56:01I'm going to try to stand behind Karg and pull him just back,

00:56:06like flat back against the cage.

00:56:10The cage.

00:56:11So that he can be attacked by, maybe, princess will see the lighter.

00:56:15I don't know.

00:56:16I have dark vision.

00:56:18Would you also like to reveal anything about Karg as well?

00:56:23Karg fails his saving throw against lightning lure.

00:56:25Go ahead and roll damage.

00:56:26And that's a six.

00:56:27That's a six, yeah.

00:56:28All right.

00:56:29So that is a...

00:56:30Or is that one D8?

00:56:32A one D8?

00:56:32Yeah.

00:56:33Oh, damn.

00:56:33That was a five.

00:56:34Okay.

00:56:34I'll do the D8.

00:56:35It's fine.

00:56:35Here we go.

00:56:36This is a five.

00:56:38Five.

00:56:38Okay.

00:56:39There we go.

00:56:40And actually, sorry.

00:56:40It's two D8.

00:56:41So roll it again.

00:56:42Hey.

00:56:44Four.

00:56:45Nine damage.

00:56:46So lightning lure.

00:56:47And you feel...

00:56:48He stretches.

00:56:50He's like stretching the bands at the edge of the ring.

00:56:53As lightning lure pulls him back.

00:56:54Princess, that is you.

00:56:55I can see in the dark.

00:56:57I have dark vision.

00:56:58So I would just like to, I don't know, kind of beat the shit out of him.

00:57:02Hell yeah.

00:57:03Go for it.

00:57:03We have to win this money.

00:57:05Yeah.

00:57:06We do.

00:57:07Yay.

00:57:08That's a 16 on the, and then plus what?

00:57:11Roll a D6 plus your strength modifier.

00:57:13Eight.

00:57:14So 24.

00:57:15And then I roll a what?

00:57:17D6.

00:57:17D6, and then add your strength.

00:57:19Oh.

00:57:21A three.

00:57:22Plus five.

00:57:24Eight.

00:57:24So you deal eight points of damage.

00:57:25Go ahead and give me one more attack, because you get two attacks per turn.

00:57:28Oh, I hit him again.

00:57:29I hit him again.

00:57:30Come on.

00:57:32A one.

00:57:33A one.

00:57:34Jesus.

00:57:34Incredible.

00:57:35Sure.

00:57:35So we did.

00:57:36Isn't it incredible?

00:57:37It is incredible, because with that nine that you did, plus eight, you all descend on this place.

00:57:43So I'm going to describe what happens at this moment.

00:57:45Oh, God.

00:57:46Acia pulling mud out of her eyes.

00:57:48Still?

00:57:48Still giant going, where is he?

00:57:51Let me at him.

00:57:52Twyla snuffs all of the lights out as you feel cards pull a lethal weapon.

00:57:58In that moment, the lights go out.

00:58:01Trane, you leap over off the pole, kick him, roundhouse him in the head twice.

00:58:06Gertie, you snatch him back with lightning around his neck, choking him as he stretches the bar.

00:58:11And Princess, as he's pulling against the bands, you punch him in the back of the head so hard that he goes unconscious.

00:58:17The ropes snap back.

00:58:18As someone snaps and the lights come back on, all they see is Karg flying unconscious through the air, skidding into the sand.

00:58:27Crazy.

00:58:27As Asiyah goes, what happened?

00:58:30And everyone goes, ah!

00:58:33As Asiyah wins, she's wiping mud from her eyes.

00:58:37Did I win?

00:58:38And you see that somewhere you hear an announcer saying, incredible.

00:58:42It looks like Asiyah, with some magical gift, shut off all the lights in the arena, teleported briefly to the stands, and gave up her secret identity just to come back in a head card so hard in the head that he is unconscious.

00:58:58That's why you come to Vitaly.

00:59:00That's what you love to see.

00:59:01Woo!

00:59:02This is better than, this is great!

00:59:04UFC, you eat it!

00:59:08Great job.

00:59:09So, a couple things happened in quick succession.

00:59:12You gotta go to the bookie.

00:59:13That was stressful.

00:59:14It was stressful.

00:59:15I'm getting hot.

00:59:16I'm hot.

00:59:17It's so hot.

00:59:18It's like hot.

00:59:19So, with three to one odds, the bookie comes back and gives you 85 gold pieces and five silver pieces.

00:59:25Oh my goodness!

00:59:27So, we put in 20, so everyone gives back what they put in, multiply by three?

00:59:31Yeah, so in other words, yeah, so I would say don't take what you put, if you didn't erase what you put in, then just add.

00:59:40Double that.

00:59:41Alright, so I put in seven.

00:59:42Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, I have twelve gold pieces now.

00:59:45So, I put all in.

00:59:46Remember when I suggested we go all in?

00:59:48See?

00:59:49No, you put seven.

00:59:50You didn't put the .5.

00:59:51No, she did.

00:59:52She did go all in.

00:59:53750, yeah.

00:59:54Oh, so how much you got?

00:59:55I got 15.

00:59:56When you double 750, it's 15.

00:59:57No, no, no, no.

00:59:58You add double.

00:59:59Oh!

01:00:00So, you have seven, then you add 15 to that.

01:00:02So, I got 2150?

01:00:032150, there you go.

01:00:04I have 2150 as well.

01:00:06How?

01:00:07Because I have 7.5.

01:00:08Y'all should've put it, y'all should've, we should've went all in.

01:00:11Um, as you are standing by the bookie, a familiar voice speaks up behind you, and you see the Baroness.

01:00:18Straven Mitzk, the gnomish sort of steampunk Baroness, is here.

01:00:24Clockorella?

01:00:25Yeah, Clockorella.

01:00:27Clockorella is behind you as well, and says, I came over as soon as you showed your breasts.

01:00:32I would like to talk to Clockorella.

01:00:35Talk to her.

01:00:36Please do.

01:00:37I have bartered many of my most fabulous clocks here in town to save up.

01:00:41I am going to challenge the princess of Sia to a duel.

01:00:44Oh, I don't, that doesn't seem wise.

01:00:46Don't.

01:00:47She just, you see what she just did to Karg?

01:00:49Yeah.

01:00:50Karg, Karg has no understanding of the finer workings of Clockwork, or of the various...

01:00:54And this is why I would like to talk to you.

01:00:58Clockorella?

01:00:59Mm-hmm.

01:01:00She doesn't know we call her Clockorella.

01:01:01That's right.

01:01:02What's her name?

01:01:03Sorry, you got, sorry.

01:01:04Are you guys calling me Clockorella?

01:01:06It's like, it's like, it's charming, it's like a nickname.

01:01:09Like, you're giving me your friends.

01:01:10And it's your nickname.

01:01:11Oh, no, no, no, no, no, it's good.

01:01:13It's good.

01:01:14Oh, don't cry, Clockorella.

01:01:16Oh.

01:01:17God.

01:01:18Oh my God.

01:01:19Ask her.

01:01:20What is your name?

01:01:21My name is Straven Clockwald Mitzk.

01:01:26Oh my gosh.

01:01:27Clockwald is why we thought it was Clockorella.

01:01:30Yes.

01:01:31I need your help.

01:01:33Say her name.

01:01:34I need your help.

01:01:35Straven.

01:01:36Clockwald.

01:01:37Clockwald Mitzk.

01:01:39Can you see me whispering to anyone?

01:01:42I would love your help.

01:01:44SCM Straven Clockwald Mitzk.

01:01:51Yeah, I know.

01:01:52Okay.

01:01:53Okay, so this is what I really need help with.

01:01:56So I have this Clockwork Dragonfly Wing.

01:01:59And it's just, I really need your help in making it operate.

01:02:04I've come here for true love.

01:02:05So I don't want to get distracted by a piece of Clockwork as advanced as that.

01:02:08That's actually fascinating.

01:02:09Can I see that?

01:02:10Yes, yes.

01:02:11Wow, and you see she takes it and immediately begins tinkering with it and working on it.

01:02:15The incredible thing about Clockwork like this is it's very easy to enchant because magic wants to cling to purpose and intention.

01:02:21And the more that you've worked on an item, the longer it actually has sort of an aura developed within it that you can put and attach enchantments to.

01:02:27And you watch her completely lose track of the duel.

01:02:30And she's just sort of here working on these Clockwork Wings.

01:02:32Good job.

01:02:33Good God.

01:02:34As Asiya steps out of the ring, the enlarge fades.

01:02:38I don't know if she's going to escape.

01:02:39Well, she's just going to continue working on them.

01:02:41Oh, amazing.

01:02:43And you escaped her.

01:02:45You see that Asiya is over in a corner kind of like explaining herself to an older man.

01:02:53He's incredibly handsome, sort of, he has that like dark black hair, but these sort of silver wings at the temple.

01:02:59I like that.

01:03:00Like Mr. Fantastic.

01:03:01There you go.

01:03:02Yes.

01:03:03And you see he's got sort of a scotee that has a little bit of silver in it as well.

01:03:06And he's standing next to Nyreth.

01:03:08And Nyreth and he are both speaking to Asiya.

01:03:11And you see that he is wearing one of the vests and has the tattoo of the Jade Vipers.

01:03:15It looks like the Jade Vipers have all descended on Asiya, with her now being announced that the Princess Asiya is Asiya the Jade Viper.

01:03:23They are one and the same.

01:03:24And they're happy with this.

01:03:25They don't look happy with this.

01:03:27Understandably.

01:03:28Do you understand?

01:03:30So you see, yeah.

01:03:31So you see Asiya is getting dressed down in this moment.

01:03:34Is there anything that you all do here together?

01:03:36You got your money.

01:03:37Straven is working on the clockwork wings.

01:03:40I could throw little heart-shaped snowflakes.

01:03:44You could.

01:03:45I think that we definitely got to talk to Nyreth.

01:03:49There's a reason why he's here.

01:03:50We definitely have to.

01:03:51I think that should be you, though.

01:03:53I'll talk to Nyreth.

01:03:54Should I intimidate the people who are trying to intimidate Asiya?

01:03:59Yeah!

01:04:00You could ask them to, like, back off?

01:04:02Yeah, because the whole reason for the battle is you.

01:04:06Yeah.

01:04:07Yeah.

01:04:08So you showing up to support Asiya.

01:04:10Yeah.

01:04:11Give me a history check with advantage.

01:04:14And then I would like, for Princess, you go ahead and give me intimidate.

01:04:17Remember, you also have commanding presence, which allows you to add a d6 to the roll if you'd like.

01:04:23Yes.

01:04:24So go ahead and roll into intimidation.

01:04:25Very much that.

01:04:26Yes.

01:04:27Go ahead and add intimidation.

01:04:28We'll say 15 will yield some results.

01:04:3120 is even better, and a 25 is best case scenario.

01:04:34And this is, what am I adding to this?

01:04:37Intimidation.

01:04:38Okay.

01:04:41So I rolled an 18.

01:04:42Whoa!

01:04:43Plus five.

01:04:44So that's 23.

01:04:45If you want to add one of your commanding presence dies, you only need a two or higher to get a 25.

01:04:50And you definitely want to do that, right?

01:04:51Yeah.

01:04:52Go ahead and give me a d6 roll.

01:04:53Can I enlarge her as well?

01:04:55Hell yeah.

01:04:56Three.

01:04:57Three!

01:04:58We just made it.

01:04:5926!

01:05:00Um, Princess, you stride over.

01:05:02Do you want to cast enlarge on Princess?

01:05:03I mean, would it make her, she doesn't need it though, right?

01:05:05She doesn't need it.

01:05:06No, really?

01:05:07But it's camp.

01:05:08Okay.

01:05:09But it's camp!

01:05:10Okay.

01:05:11I'm gonna, let's, would you like to be large and in charge, enlarge and in charge, honey?

01:05:15Large me, mama.

01:05:16Be chunky yet funky and large and in charge.

01:05:18You see that Asiya is there, sort of mud on her face.

01:05:21You see that she has a ring that's still glowing on her hand.

01:05:25You see she says, Guildmaster Tariq, I know that I didn't show up for the guild, but I had a chance at...

01:05:33And you see the guildmaster just going, you absconded on your oaths to this thieves guild.

01:05:40And for what?

01:05:41You found a treasure?

01:05:43Where, how do you have these clothes, this finery, these guards?

01:05:48Where did this all come from?

01:05:49And so she touches the ring and says, I saw a chance at...

01:05:53I just...

01:05:56There was someone that I...

01:05:59Wanted to see something in me.

01:06:01And Tariq, give me that history check with advantage.

01:06:04I did.

01:06:05Old 11 and I have a one.

01:06:06I want, so it's 12.

01:06:07As you walk up, you think back and you remember Asiya from high school.

01:06:12Thinking back to that time, like holes in her trousers, like moth, patchwork, just as poor as could be.

01:06:20Yeah.

01:06:21And those memories suddenly come flooding back to you.

01:06:23But she's always very funny though.

01:06:25Always very funny.

01:06:26She can keep her room.

01:06:27She can keep her room.

01:06:28She can hold her room, yeah.

01:06:29Princess, you stride over, now 14 feet tall, and you see Tariq says, the Jade Vipers are not...

01:06:35Hello.

01:06:36And looks up Princess.

01:06:37What do you say as you approach this group of people?

01:06:40Back off, motherfuckers.

01:06:42You see, the Jade Vipers look at this towering princess and you see that Tariq goes,

01:06:52All right.

01:06:53Everyone remain calm.

01:06:55There are many Jade Vipers in this room.

01:07:00We are not so easily cowed or intimidated, but we don't want to start any trouble if there

01:07:07doesn't need to be.

01:07:09He is very intimidated in this movie.

01:07:11Mm-hmm.

01:07:12These guys would...

01:07:13If someone came up and spoke to them in this way, they would normally, like, kill them.

01:07:16Ooh!

01:07:17But, uh...

01:07:18But not that tall-ass princess.

01:07:19Not that tall-ass princess.

01:07:20Let's see.

01:07:21Uh, you see that...

01:07:22He says, I am unfamiliar with who you are.

01:07:26You are currently in our, uh, pleasure houses and bazaar.

01:07:31I would hope that you would remain.

01:07:33And you see that Nyrith goes,

01:07:35Guildmaster Tariq, you now speak to none other than Princess Fohammer, the cause of said duel.

01:07:44Also, one of four champions of Calvorda who quite recently journeyed to the heart of the Underworld

01:07:51Uh, and liberated the goddess of death, restoring the fairy homeland and resurrecting her entire family,

01:07:57killing her uncle, one of the most proficient warriors in Calvorda.

01:08:01Uh...

01:08:04No big deal.

01:08:07Uh, Tariq looks and says,

01:08:09My lady Fohammer, you have my apologies.

01:08:13Uh, you see that Asiya looks up and goes,

01:08:15Princess, what are you doing here?

01:08:18Uh, we came to, uh, see the duel.

01:08:22And we won some money.

01:08:24Oh.

01:08:25Good job.

01:08:26You bet on me?

01:08:27Yeah.

01:08:28She blushes so hard.

01:08:30Um, you see that she just goes,

01:08:32I, uh, I, well, yeah.

01:08:35And these, and these brigands, bandits, dare to touch a princess?

01:08:41I'm literally rich.

01:08:44You can't touch me.

01:08:45That's illegal.

01:08:46Uh...

01:08:47Then we're all just like...

01:08:50Yeah.

01:08:51So, real princess.

01:08:54And I, uh...

01:08:58She does protest too much, honey.

01:09:00You don't have to protest anymore.

01:09:02I lied.

01:09:03Aww.

01:09:05And I'm really sorry.

01:09:07I found a ring that had an Efreet in it,

01:09:11and I made some wishes.

01:09:14One of them was to be a princess,

01:09:16which I, I guess, technically am.

01:09:18I think, like, the wish does make it true,

01:09:19but I just don't know how to do it.

01:09:22I think I just have a bunch of horses and guards

01:09:24and money and stuff.

01:09:26You have a lot of money.

01:09:27Yeah.

01:09:28It's very Aladdin.

01:09:31But...

01:09:32Prince Ali over here.

01:09:35He says, but, um...

01:09:38I do love you.

01:09:41You're...

01:09:42I love so much about wanting to get to know you

01:09:45and not being too forward.

01:09:48And I, I would love to see where this goes.

01:09:52Um...

01:09:56If that works for you.

01:09:59Can I use this locket of true love?

01:10:02Mm-hmm.

01:10:03To find out, like, if, if she's on the level?

01:10:07Uh, yes.

01:10:08Uh, how do you...

01:10:09I forgot.

01:10:10Do you extend, like, a hand to her?

01:10:11Or what do you...

01:10:12Yeah, I just want to take both of her hands

01:10:14and look in her eyes.

01:10:15Reach down.

01:10:16Uh, you take both of her hands and look in her eyes.

01:10:18Um...

01:10:19This is very intimidating.

01:10:20And, uh...

01:10:22In her eyes, you see a memory of a far earlier time.

01:10:24Your family's very wealthy before,

01:10:26before Castle Ravenspear was burnt down,

01:10:28before you lost your family to the underworld.

01:10:31You remember a time your family,

01:10:33as dignitaries and aristocrats,

01:10:34were traveling to Mitali,

01:10:37and you were going through this market square,

01:10:39and you see just a young Acia as, like,

01:10:41a pickpocket and thief looking up to you

01:10:45and seeing you on horseback

01:10:47and just, like, stars in her eyes

01:10:49as she looks up and is like,

01:10:50wow, that's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

01:10:52And, uh, she...

01:10:55And it comes back,

01:10:56and your hands are perfectly warm in her hands.

01:10:59No burnt skin here, honey.

01:11:01Mm-hmm.

01:11:02Uh, she just says,

01:11:04I grew up my whole life around

01:11:06master thieves and cat burglars

01:11:09and people that are very cynical

01:11:11and practical about the world,

01:11:13and it's always felt very silly to talk about

01:11:15falling for someone at first sight.

01:11:19But we live in a world with magic

01:11:21and boons and dragons,

01:11:24and it's so crazy to think that you might see someone

01:11:27and have a feeling like you could be happy with them.

01:11:33Wow. That's really sweet. Thanks.

01:11:36If someone poured their heart on me

01:11:38and they said thank you,

01:11:39I would walk into the traffic.

01:11:42If I poured my heart on someone who goes,

01:11:43oh, my God, thanks.

01:11:44I know.

01:11:45You're not going to say,

01:11:46I love you, too.

01:11:47Can I have some money?

01:11:48I would walk into the ocean.

01:11:49Well, we don't know each other that well.

01:11:52Like, I can't be like,

01:11:53I'm in love with you, too,

01:11:54because we just, like...

01:11:55We just met.

01:11:56So maybe we could, like, go on a date.

01:11:57There we go.

01:11:58Let's do that. Let's do that.

01:11:59Great. Let's go on a date.

01:12:00We're drag queens that grab dollar bills from strangers.

01:12:06You see that she looks around and says,

01:12:08and it's lovely to meet all of your acquaintances again.

01:12:10I'm not a real princess.

01:12:12We gathered, babe.

01:12:14I'm Twyla.

01:12:15Hi, Twyla.

01:12:16Like you and your little stealing friends,

01:12:17we gathered.

01:12:18That was fantastic.

01:12:20What?

01:12:21Yeah.

01:12:22Like you and your little stealing friends,

01:12:23we gathered.

01:12:24Like you and your little stealing friends,

01:12:25we gathered.

01:12:26You see that Nyreth looks over to you and says,

01:12:29absolutely fascinating to see all of you here in Mitali.

01:12:33I take it you're here for the purposes of romance, yes?

01:12:39Me?

01:12:40I don't know.

01:12:41Oh.

01:12:42Seems like a lot going on with romance.

01:12:44Yeah.

01:12:45How have you been?

01:12:46I see the little clock baroness over here working on these wings.

01:12:48Should we worry about Alexei von Baudelaire showing up

01:12:51and challenging someone to a duel as well?

01:12:53You must have rolled a perception, a nat 20,

01:12:55because you see everything, don't you, Nyreth?

01:12:57I see it all.

01:12:58He sees your heart.

01:12:59I want to do a prestidigitation on Gertrude.

01:13:04Yeah.

01:13:05And I'm going to make her blush.

01:13:07Oh, my God.

01:13:08See, Nyreth looks over and says,

01:13:10Gertrude, you taken?

01:13:13You know, I don't know what's going on.

01:13:15I'm a flush, but it is not.

01:13:17Gertrude, you don't look well at all.

01:13:19Can you sit down?

01:13:20I think I'm going to have a seat.

01:13:22I don't know what is going on over here.

01:13:24Oh, my gosh.

01:13:25I'm not usually like this.

01:13:26What is happening?

01:13:28My skin is black.

01:13:30Literally the color of what is going on.

01:13:32And Twyla drops pink cherry blossoms.

01:13:37Cherry blossoms.

01:13:38Yeah, and it dances around the two of you.

01:13:43And there's like a little heart.

01:13:45Nyreth goes, what the fuck is going on?

01:13:47I go, I do not know.

01:13:49No, it's very...

01:13:50Get this shit.

01:13:51I hate cherry blossoms.

01:13:52Get this shit out of me.

01:13:53Oh, my God.

01:13:54I know.

01:13:55They're so annoying.

01:13:56Listen.

01:13:57Terrible things are afoot.

01:13:58Uh-huh.

01:13:59Enough with this.

01:14:00Enough with the blossoms and you blushing and all this.

01:14:03I absolutely hate love.

01:14:04I'm a demon.

01:14:05Same.

01:14:06We're not a demon, but yeah.

01:14:07Yes, but I get it.

01:14:09Are you aware of what's been transpiring in the world of Calvorda these past few days?

01:14:15No, not really.

01:14:16Trans.

01:14:17In the deep, a kraken now stirs.

01:14:21Yeah, we did know that part, yeah.

01:14:22You did?

01:14:23Yeah, yeah.

01:14:24What is all the stuff you know?

01:14:25Let's make a better note.

01:14:26Okay, okay.

01:14:27So we know that there's a kraken.

01:14:28We know that the...

01:14:31Roy of Karkonnen.

01:14:32Roy and Spole are under the water.

01:14:34And then basically she catches Nyreth up on everything.

01:14:38You see that...

01:14:39I want you to catch me up on everything.

01:14:42You catch him up on everything.

01:14:43Nyreth says, fascinating, many boons flying around hither and yon,

01:14:46both from the dragon.

01:14:47And you see he looks over at Acia and says,

01:14:49we might have another one that you're sitting on here.

01:14:51Krakens offer boons as well, but very limited.

01:14:55They are powerful immortal creatures, but their magic is capable only of destruction.

01:15:03They can, you know, cause massive waves and great storms.

01:15:08Some legendary kraken even have the ability to make the oceans themselves rise.

01:15:13You see that he looks around and goes, it's a strange, strange thing.

01:15:18So, Alexei von Baudelaire stole the chains of command from Mofandrix.

01:15:25You see that Acia looks over and says,

01:15:27von Baudelaire, there's something the guildmaster knows about the von Baudelaire's.

01:15:32We robbed them.

01:15:37There was a caravan that was coming through here to go to the Wormspine Mountains

01:15:41and the von Baudelaire's are fabulously wealthy, so we robbed them as often as we can.

01:15:45You see that she says, guildmaster Tariq's not very happy with me right now,

01:15:49but he is terrified of princess, so maybe we can work that out into something.

01:15:55You see that she begins to walk off towards the guildmaster,

01:15:58and Nyreth says, fascinating, let's take a little look here.

01:16:02And moves over with you to a table where the guildmaster and these other sort of jade vipers are seated.

01:16:08Acia says, guildmaster, my friends and I are interested in things that were taken from the von Baudelaire caravan

01:16:17the last time they passed through Mitali.

01:16:20And you see the guildmaster says,

01:16:22you wish for us to share our guild secrets with these adventurers.

01:16:27And you see, she says, just not our secrets, just what was taken from the von Baudelaire's.

01:16:31You see that the guildmaster crosses his arms and says, and what's in it for us?

01:16:36And he here gazes at all of you.

01:16:39Well, they seem interested in money, which we have recently come into some.

01:16:43But we need to get those fucking red potions.

01:16:46Yeah, we do.

01:16:47Those are going to be critical, I think.

01:16:49Well, yeah.

01:16:50What we can do is...

01:16:51But we only have enough for two.

01:16:52Where is von Baudelaire right now?

01:16:55You don't know.

01:16:56He flew off into Pyridia, but you don't know where he's actually landing.

01:16:59I'm assuming he's headed back to the ocean to give the chains of command to Nyreth.

01:17:04We could bring him back for them.

01:17:06Do they want him for any reason?

01:17:08See, the guildmaster says, you would offer to deliver the Marquis du Balevoir right into our hands for us to ransom.

01:17:16Yes, the very Alexei.

01:17:17Fresh.

01:17:18Priority delivery, honey.

01:17:23We have a deal.

01:17:24We got a deal.

01:17:25I was just going to offer to sing.

01:17:28You would offer to sing freely.

01:17:29Come dance a jig, an iron shake from the donkey learning way.

01:17:34We kind of can't stop her.

01:17:36It's kind of a thing.

01:17:37You see that Tariq just sort of furrows his eyebrows, but there is a thief behind him who goes...

01:17:41This is so beautiful.

01:17:45He just all bursts into a river dance.

01:17:48Screaming.

01:17:50I know other hymns.

01:17:52Oh.

01:17:53We'll hear those later.

01:17:54Oh.

01:17:57You see, Tariq goes, I like this.

01:17:59Ben, more of the music like this.

01:18:01And you see that there's like a belly dancer who's now trying to belly dance to someone going,

01:18:05Oh, the days of the Carrie dancing.

01:18:09Oh, the ring of the pipers tomb.

01:18:12Oh, for one of those hours of gladness.

01:18:16And a bunch of customers are like, we should leave.

01:18:19We should leave.

01:18:20We're ruining business.

01:18:21Let's get out of here.

01:18:23We should leave.

01:18:25We should leave.

01:18:26We should leave.

01:18:27It's bad now.

01:18:28Throws a bunch of parchment on the table, all under the crest of the family Von Baudelaire.

01:18:34Anyone who wants to go ahead and give me investigation with advantage as you look through these.

01:18:39Plus four.

01:18:40Oh, I'm plus two.

01:18:41I have a 17, so that's a 21.

01:18:4221.

01:18:43Hell yes.

01:18:44And with advantage, I get to roll twice.

01:18:45Nat 20.

01:18:46Nat 20.

01:18:47Because I also got a 13 plus 17.

01:18:51So I got 20.

01:18:52What are you guys wondering?

01:18:53As you begin to go over this together, Troianne, you begin to look and see that there are contracts written in Aquan.

01:19:00And that these are in the language of the merfolk.

01:19:04You begin to uncover documentation that has to do with real estate.

01:19:09And you begin to look at.

01:19:11I clocked it.

01:19:12I clocked it.

01:19:13Development all throughout.

01:19:16You see that there's a bunch of information here.

01:19:19There's correspondence between your mother and the Von Baudelaire's here.

01:19:26Your mother basically, it looks like there are some correspondence in these sort of personal family parcels that were taken from this caravan.

01:19:35Indicating the Von Baudelaire's are the people that first told Inera about the Kraken.

01:19:43And specifically referred to the boon of the rising oceans.

01:19:48And you see the rune of the angry sea again here that you saw before.

01:19:54Within that thing of like rising oceans, the Kraken has the ability to basically like, you know, cause the oceans to rise.

01:20:04I would love a history check with advantage from Gertrude, if you'd be so kind.

01:20:09History plus four.

01:20:12A 21.

01:20:14And a 16.

01:20:17On a 21, looking at all of this stuff about the rising oceans and the Kraken and everything like that.

01:20:24You remember the Wormspine Mountains and all those new castles being built in it.

01:20:31With palm trees, golden stone on them.

01:20:36Where was that again?

01:20:37They're gonna rise the ocean.

01:20:38Wormspine was on the way to, um, was on the way to the frozen place.

01:20:42We passed the Wormspine on the way to the frozen place.

01:20:44They're gonna raise the ocean level.

01:20:46And they're gonna be up on the mountain, up on the mountaintop.

01:20:48And they're gonna raise it up and everyone's gonna be forced to move there if they have any money.

01:20:52Then they're gonna get their development filled up because there'll be nowhere else to live.

01:20:56You uncovered this infernal devilish plan of the Von Baudelais to sort of invite the Queen of Everdeep to raise the oceans and expand her kingdom as they make a fortune on everybody needing to move to their brand new condominium castle.

01:21:15You remember when I told you I said it reeks of capitalism?

01:21:17It reeks of capitalism.

01:21:18You did.

01:21:19You did call it.

01:21:20You did call it.

01:21:21In the beginning with your upcycled garment.

01:21:22You've really been.

01:21:23I said it reeks of late stage capitalism.

01:21:25I said this.

01:21:26I said it.

01:21:27It was.

01:21:28Yeah, it was.

01:21:29On that Nat 20, Troianne.

01:21:30Yes.

01:21:31You also find something that we have to give up on a Nat 20 even if it was not my plan to give this up.

01:21:37You have to.

01:21:38Yes.

01:21:39What?

01:21:40you find records of the people that the Von Baudelais have funded throughout.

01:21:46And you see they have a long history of finding powerful magic users

01:21:49and putting them on the track of, like, deep magical plans that they can cash in on.

01:21:57One of those things that the Von Baudelais family did,

01:22:00they were responsible for funding the initial rituals of necromancy of Zarya Hex, the Blood Queen.

01:22:10This is the big bad.

01:22:11Yeah, from last season.

01:22:13The big bad from last season.

01:22:14Zarya Hex, who invaded the fairy homeland.

01:22:16Oh, I remember her.

01:22:17You remember her.

01:22:17I remember that bitch.

01:22:18Yes, absolutely.

01:22:19The one name you do remember from the home.

01:22:23That means she destroyed her family rightfully.

01:22:25This is fair.

01:22:26So.

01:22:27Oh, shit.

01:22:28So you find evidence that the Von Baudelais funded Zarya Hex,

01:22:33which you realize means that Mysara,

01:22:37who is, like, all about the vengeance for the destroyed fairy homelands,

01:22:43perhaps knowingly or unknowingly, you can't be sure,

01:22:46is working in cahoots with the noble family

01:22:50that helped orchestrate the downfall of the fairy homeland.

01:22:53It's like the fucking Koch family.

01:22:54I still have, I still believe that Mysara thinks that they're doing a good thing.

01:23:00But I think, I think.

01:23:02Everyone thinks they're doing the right thing.

01:23:03Like, Thanos thought he was doing the right thing.

01:23:06Thanos wasn't like, I just want to kill you.

01:23:07He was like.

01:23:07I don't know who Thanos is.

01:23:08Well, he was the guy without the earth.

01:23:10You never heard of that man?

01:23:10He was like, the world can't sustain itself,

01:23:11so we have to kill half the people here

01:23:13so that the world can be sustained.

01:23:14Isn't that called culling?

01:23:16Culling?

01:23:16Is that a culling?

01:23:17A culling, like.

01:23:18Culling?

01:23:19I don't know.

01:23:19Like, you think, like.

01:23:20C-U-L-L-I-N-G, culling?

01:23:23I've never heard this word.

01:23:23You've never heard of that?

01:23:24Like, like, witches, how they can, like, see.

01:23:26No, isn't a culling, like, nature does.

01:23:28Culling a herd, yeah.

01:23:29It's like thinning a herd.

01:23:31See, twilight us?

01:23:32No, thinning.

01:23:33It's nature.

01:23:34Nature.

01:23:34You're giving me a nature plus five.

01:23:36Yeah, he was trying to cull the herd of people.

01:23:38That's true.

01:23:38Yeah.

01:23:39But, like I said, I think they all think they're doing right.

01:23:42They all think they're doing the right thing.

01:23:43Everything's doing the right thing.

01:23:44But, obviously, we all,

01:23:46our moral compasses are all different.

01:23:47But I do think my sorrow is savable.

01:23:50I think so.

01:23:51There was that smile that we can recall.

01:23:53I mean, let's hope,

01:23:54because we're going to need her on our side.

01:23:55Hopefully, she, you get that,

01:23:57then you make a snap to it so she can help us.

01:23:59You never know.

01:24:00How do you know she's not playing one of those games?

01:24:02It's like one of those long games

01:24:03where she's like,

01:24:04sis, I've been helping you this whole time.

01:24:06Nyreth, Asea, both look at you.

01:24:09You see Nyreth sort of looking at these papers

01:24:12that have been fanned out by the Guildmaster.

01:24:14The von Baudelaise have been hard at work, it seems.

01:24:17Hmm.

01:24:18Well, Nyreth sort of looks through,

01:24:21and you see he pulls sort of the tomes

01:24:23out of his own bag here

01:24:25and begins to look through them,

01:24:26like a grimoire, and goes,

01:24:28the boon of the rising oceans,

01:24:31the sort of,

01:24:32the magic of the angry sea

01:24:35that Queen Nyreth is trying to call.

01:24:39In the past,

01:24:40when that ritual has been attempted,

01:24:42there has been an artifact

01:24:44known as the Fathomless Nexus.

01:24:48I had it in my pawn shop back in the bazaar

01:24:51outside of Hollowgrave for a while,

01:24:53but it made its way back to Calvorda

01:24:55for a certain amount of time.

01:24:57The Nexus is a magical artifact.

01:25:00It's a runic sort of engine,

01:25:02and it will be placed somewhere near the coast,

01:25:06and it will be the place that the Kraken attacks,

01:25:09the first place that the Kraken makes landfall.

01:25:12Once it touches that Nexus,

01:25:15the spell unfolds and the oceans rise.

01:25:20Finding that will allow us to know

01:25:23where to stop it.

01:25:26If we want to stop it,

01:25:27do you,

01:25:28or do you want the oceans to rise?

01:25:30No, no, no, no, no, no.

01:25:31Nyreth.

01:25:32I wouldn't hate it.

01:25:33It's full of Nyreth.

01:25:34I wouldn't hate the ocean rising.

01:25:36Well, it would kill.

01:25:37Well, for those of us who don't live in the water

01:25:39and didn't grow up seaside.

01:25:41I get it, but I couldn't mind.

01:25:42On the seaside of the seaside.

01:25:44No, I mean, obviously,

01:25:46maybe it's not obvious,

01:25:47but we do not want the ocean to rise.

01:25:49Most of us do not live in the waters,

01:25:51and we got to find this piece.

01:25:52So I feel comfort in knowing

01:25:54that I don't think we will be fighting the Kraken.

01:25:57I think that we will be trying to get there

01:26:00either before the Kraken reaches her

01:26:03or before she gets the change of command

01:26:06to get the Kraken to go attack the engine,

01:26:08the amulet.

01:26:09Yes.

01:26:10We want to stop that.

01:26:11We want to stop that from happening.

01:26:13We do not want that to happen.

01:26:16There's water rising,

01:26:18and we got to find where the amulet is

01:26:20so that the Kraken won't attack it.

01:26:23Well, what you need to do,

01:26:26that information will be in one place

01:26:28and one place only,

01:26:28and that's Everdeep.

01:26:30We got to go to Everdeep.

01:26:32Okay.

01:26:32Well, we can't leave yet.

01:26:33I don't have my thing.

01:26:34And we need to go get the potions

01:26:37from the bazaar.

01:26:37You're waiting for some bits, too.

01:26:39Should we take a quick 10-hour nap?

01:26:42Or how many hours do we have?

01:26:45Sia says,

01:26:45I can show you around.

01:26:46Okay.

01:26:47Yeah, let's go around.

01:26:48All right.

01:26:49That's great.

01:26:49Are you in good standing with your friends?

01:26:51No, I think my life is over here.

01:26:53No.

01:26:54I don't know.

01:26:55You see, she looks over and says,

01:26:56Guildmaster, how are we?

01:26:57The Guildmaster just sort of looks at her

01:26:59as, like, you abandoned your Thieves' Guild

01:27:02to go chase romance.

01:27:04She goes,

01:27:05maybe it's possible to sort out.

01:27:08I won't know for a while,

01:27:09but maybe you can come to her.

01:27:11I was going to say,

01:27:12how is your water breathing?

01:27:14Y'all, we do not have another amulet.

01:27:16Well, that's why I'm asking.

01:27:17Oh, right.

01:27:18She can breathe underwater.

01:27:19I have water breathing.

01:27:20Water breathing is 10 people.

01:27:22Oh, why did you say that?

01:27:24Why did you?

01:27:25But that's just the breathing.

01:27:26It doesn't help her with the...

01:27:27The getting spanked.

01:27:28But she won't be drowning.

01:27:30Well, can't we just hold on to you?

01:27:31Monet doesn't need the amulet, though,

01:27:32because Monet can...

01:27:33We already covered that.

01:27:34We have one extra one to give.

01:27:37And we just found our lady.

01:27:38Because we need to give two.

01:27:39One to Spole, one to Roy.

01:27:40They're already there.

01:27:41We don't need to give them one.

01:27:42We need to give it to her.

01:27:43We need them to protect them, right?

01:27:45Yeah, when we calculated it, we...

01:27:47But they're already there.

01:27:48It's to help us get there and travel.

01:27:50Correct?

01:27:50It's to help us travel when we're there.

01:27:52They're already there.

01:27:53Roy and Spole are already there,

01:27:53but if you want to break them out

01:27:55and escape with them and come back...

01:27:57Yeah, we need to give it to them.

01:27:58That's why we last night.

01:27:59So you have six potions of swimming.

01:28:01So you have one extra.

01:28:03One, two, three.

01:28:04Roy and Spole.

01:28:06And then one extra to win.

01:28:07One, two, three.

01:28:08So Acia could be that one extra.

01:28:09And the six is me.

01:28:10I don't need it.

01:28:11I know I'm not bearing the lead here,

01:28:13but Ken, is Water Walk like Zap

01:28:15or is it like me and who's around me?

01:28:18Let's look at the...

01:28:18Because if you're in the water

01:28:19and you cast Water Walk,

01:28:21in that way you would just shoot to the...

01:28:22You would be so buoyant.

01:28:23Don't be asking Jesus.

01:28:24Ask me.

01:28:25It's my gift.

01:28:26You would be so buoyant

01:28:27and you would just shoot to the surface.

01:28:28Water Walk,

01:28:29I'm going to see it off the top of my head.

01:28:31It's a spell that...

01:28:32Glance.

01:28:34Grants the ability to move...

01:28:35Teleprompter.

01:28:36Propter?

01:28:37It's a spell that can grant the ability

01:28:39to move across any liquid surface.

01:28:41Water, acid, mud, snow.

01:28:42I got snow the whole time.

01:28:44Acid the whole time?

01:28:46We did that.

01:28:47We used acid.

01:28:48Oh.

01:28:49Are you...

01:28:50Jujubee, welcome to Dungeons & Dragons Season 2.

01:28:54Episode 5.

01:28:55So it's just the ability

01:29:01to move across a liquid surface.

01:29:04But what if you're in it

01:29:05and you cast it,

01:29:05you would just...

01:29:06However, yeah, the last paragraph.

01:29:08Oh.

01:29:09If you...

01:29:09Hold on.

01:29:09Let me get to the last paragraph, Rob.

01:29:11Shut the...

01:29:11If you target a creature

01:29:12submerged in a liquid,

01:29:14the spell carries the target

01:29:15to the surface of the liquid

01:29:17at a rate of 60 feet per round.

01:29:18Did I not call that...

01:29:20No, Bob.

01:29:21I...

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