00:00Mom has cancer. Three words that changed Enno's world.
00:06For Sabrina, the diagnosis meant confronting her son with the truth.
00:13Suddenly it hit our family like a hammer and I thought, yeah, that was intense, right?
00:20I know, it was a terrible conversation, but do you remember what you said at the end?
00:25You know what, Mom? We are such a strong family. We can do this. That's what you said to me.
00:34Yes, really. That was really good.
00:38A heavy burden for Sabrina Schwerer and her son Enno. How much truth can a child handle?
00:45Sarah Gauer works for the FlĂĽsterpost Association and supports families with parents who have cancer.
00:51The aim is to encourage open discussions so that children don't feel alone or take on too much responsibility.
00:58Sabrina and Enno have had this support for around 18 months.
01:01Emotion cards help Enno express how he feels.
01:06Sometimes you feel like this.
01:09Scared. Sad.
01:11But sometimes you're also really stressed. You don't know what to do anymore. Then I would pick that one.
01:22He looks exhausted, right? You pick that one quite often.
01:28Sabrina has terminal liver cancer. Talking openly about it with her child took courage.
01:34You have this idea like, I want to be a good mother. I want to somehow try to cushion it as best as I can
01:43and would actually like to keep all the suffering away from the child. Which just doesn't work that way.
01:51In everyday life, Sabrina can't always hide her illness from her two children.
01:55She often feels weak and tired.
01:57Also her husband, who is self-employed, cannot always step in.
02:02Enno has just turned 10 years old.
02:04They had planned to go out, but Sabrina felt too unwell.
02:09Sometimes it's just like you can't do something because mom has to go to the bathroom or stuff like that.
02:14And I think other kids would react kind of weird.
02:17But I've kind of gotten used to it.
02:24Sabrina has to go to the clinic for regular check-ups.
02:30My friend, the liver.
02:33Injections are supposed to slow the growth of the tumors, but the medication has strong side effects.
02:38Together with her doctor, she looks for ways to better integrate the therapy into family life.
02:43Usually when I've eaten something, I should stay near a bathroom.
02:49I skip the afternoon meal because I'm out with the kids.
02:54Sabrina's family is not an isolated case.
02:57Each year in Germany, around 50,000 children have a parent with a cancer diagnosis.
03:03Without the correct support, they are more likely to suffer from anxiety and feelings of guilt,
03:08leading to lasting psychological damage.
03:10Although the need is recognized, there is still no standardized care for these children.
03:16The situation is similar across Europe.
03:22Actually, the patients have to focus entirely on themselves and their fight against cancer.
03:26They need all the help and support.
03:29But in that situation, they don't just need help and support.
03:34They actually have to support their children, who suffer just as much from the diagnosis as they do.
03:40They also have to suffer just as the patient as they do.
03:44Today, there was encouraging news at the doctors.
03:47Everyone is relieved, including Sarah from the FlĂĽsterpost.
03:51Those are healthy cells.
03:53She explains how cancer cells spread in the body.
03:57Eno wants to know everything.
03:58This helps alleviate his fear of the mysterious illness.
04:01Can they still grow?
04:04What exactly does this do?
04:09Sabrina tries to explain.
04:11For over 20 years, FlĂĽsterpost has supported families with parents who have cancer.
04:16Their approach?
04:17Children understand more than adults realize and need age-appropriate answers.
04:21If you hide it or only tell the children a tiny bit,
04:28then there's always the question of whether the children dare to come to the parents with their fears and worries
04:33and uncomfortable feelings, or whether the conversation just gets shut down.
04:39Like a barrier is put up and it's indirectly said, we don't talk about that.
04:43Even Eno's friends help him.
04:49When he needs someone to talk to, Theo is there for him.
04:53We were just talking about life and death in religion class.
04:57Eno got sad two or three times, and then we just went outside together,
05:01walked around the schoolyard and talked about something else.
05:07How Sabrina's illness will progress is uncertain.
05:11She's proud of how bravely her son is coping.
05:13You just grow a bit closer together.
05:18And even though the kids have to take on a lot of responsibility,
05:22more than others, I think,
05:23it also does a lot for the bond and the cohesion.
05:29And sometimes the cancer fades into the background,
05:32leaving Eno as just a child.
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