Riot Women - Season 1 Episode 1 - video Dailymotion

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Transcript

00:00This video is brought to you by S.T.A.L.A.

00:30Let's get started.

02:00...her house and spent £240,000 on a policy.

02:03Yeah, I did.

02:05So the solicitor...

02:06She's not going to live that long.

02:07Well, we don't know how long she's going to live.

02:10But the point is, for however long she does live, she's covered.

02:14So she's got good care and a good home

02:17and neither of us need to worry our frazzled little heads about any of it anymore.

02:21That's £240,000 that we would have inherited, eventually.

02:27It should have been discussed.

02:28Did discuss it with her solicitor.

02:30With me.

02:32Discussed with me.

02:34And Abigail.

02:35Gail.

02:36It's got nothing to do with Abigail.

02:39And you know, she was a saver mum all her life.

02:42She's saved for a rainy day.

02:44Well, this is her rainy day.

02:45It costs £5,000 a month in that care home.

02:49And if she lives for more than three years, which she could easily do...

02:52How much?

02:52She's covered.

02:54This is 24-hour round-the-clock dementia care, Nick.

02:59This is someone who is doubly incontinent

03:01and regularly wide awake at three o'clock in the morning

03:04singing Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy from Company B

03:07and insisting she has to get to Marks & Spencer before they close.

03:12It never stops.

03:14And it doesn't come cheap.

03:16Could you not find somewhere cheaper?

03:19No.

03:20What about the NHS?

03:20Oh, what planet do you live on?

03:23So, well, what do ordinary people do?

03:25We are ordinary people.

03:28They sell their houses and spend their savings

03:30and give up their careers and do it themselves.

03:33That's what ordinary people do, so...

03:35Fuck your inheritance.

03:38Because this is the way the cookie crumbles

03:40when you don't visit your own mother for six years!

03:43Arsehole!

03:50I've got your kids...

03:52Buckethead!

03:52Arsehole!

03:54Arsehole!

03:55Lan star!

04:10Salt.

04:10Oof!

04:14Ah!

04:14Oh, God.

04:17Oh, God.

04:42Jess.

04:43Oh, snotty.

04:45Sorry.

04:46I thought you were Nick.

04:48What are you doing?

04:50Nothing.

04:52Why?

04:53Do you want to be in my rock band?

04:55You what?

04:56Let's start a riot.

04:58We won't be quiet.

05:00Riot women gonna set this world on fire.

05:04My rock band.

05:05I'm gonna form a rock band.

05:07Why?

05:08For fun.

05:09For the refugees.

05:10There's a talent contest.

05:11The school are organizing a talent contest for the parents, not the nippers.

05:15And I thought we could enter.

05:16So I need you on board because you can play the piano.

05:19Yeah, I got...

05:20What?

05:21Right, so...

05:22I went to school assembly this morning because rocker was being a tree.

05:25It was very good, actually.

05:26And it was all about the refugee crisis.

05:28Which one?

05:29Ukraine, Syria, Yemen, Sudan.

05:34One of them.

05:35Anyway, it was all about what can I do?

05:37What can I do to help?

05:38And then child of the head said that the parent governors had decided on a talent contest.

05:42Why was rocker a tree?

05:44A tree?

05:45Before an explosion and after.

05:46It was heartbreaking.

05:47Yeah.

05:48Well...

05:49It would be.

05:50Yeah.

05:51So, anyway, there'll be a bit of all sorts, you know, like, um, singing, stand-up, ventriloquism.

05:57Oh, really?

05:58And I thought, rock band.

06:00Why not?

06:01Steve left his drum kit when he cleared off.

06:03It's been going mouldy in the garage for God knows how long.

06:05I've always fancied a crack.

06:06So, um, so I thought we could do a cover, you know, like, uh, like maybe ABBA.

06:11Waterloo, something like that.

06:13Take a chance on me.

06:14I thought you said rock band.

06:17Yeah, well, not ABBA.

06:18I just thought it'd be easy.

06:19Well, easier than, you know, Nirvana.

06:23But Beth, it can be anything.

06:25Anything we can get our heads around.

06:31Sorry, how's your mum?

06:33Same.

06:34Just the same.

06:35Oh, bless.

06:39Anyway, come on, lovely.

06:40What do you think?

06:43Oh, please say yes.

06:44I could do with a bit of a laugh, and I know you could.

06:47Beth?

06:49Beth, you still there?

07:04I don't know.

07:05I'd recommend it, please.

07:06I'm alive, it looks better.

07:08You know I love it when the news is bad.

07:11What God!

07:12How can I do?

07:13Why I feel so good is it also sad.

07:15I'm only happy when it rains.

07:17Holy cow.

07:19Where'd I love me?

07:21Blur your misery down,

07:24Put your misery down on me

07:30Put your misery down

07:33Put your misery down on me

07:38I'm only happy when it rains

07:42Feel good when things are going wrong

07:47I'll be listening to the sad, sad song

07:51I know, it's the sad song

07:57I can't wait

07:59You're not happy when it rains

08:01I'm not happy when it rains

08:04I have a love

08:05I can't wait

08:06I'm not happy when it rains

08:08When it rains

08:10I'm not happy when it rains

08:12My only smile in the dark

08:16My only comeback is the night comes black

08:20Merge, switch, nervous, and give a wire.

08:43You, on the bass guitar. Oh, my bloody god.

08:46Can I got my watch?

08:47No more than merry, it's all in a good cause.

08:49Can you actually play, though?

08:51This lad and it for twocks that we lend me his hand to give me a few tips.

08:54Then, you know, if the worst comes to the worst, I can just stand there looking cool, jiggling about for three and a half minutes.

08:59You won't look cool, though, Holly. You look like a dick.

09:02Who's on drums?

09:03Jess.

09:04Do I know her?

09:05Landlady, down the Duke. Purple hair, or is it green at the moment?

09:07I love her. She's off her nut.

09:09She can play?

09:11She's...

09:12No, but she knows something. You can play keyboard a bit.

09:16Do you need a singer?

09:19Ninety-four-two code six.

09:22Cos I am properly crack at singing, so it sounds like I fit right in.

09:25We're not gonna be crap. We're gonna be f...

09:27We're gonna be okay.

09:28So you just keep your negative notices in a little box on a little shelf inside your little hairdo, alright?

09:32Your sister's shit at singing as well, so should we both turn up?

09:34You alright, love?

09:35She's down here.

09:36She got hold of a load of knives?

09:37Yeah, they're still in the packaging.

09:38Right, well, can you clear the store for me? I want everybody outside.

09:41Sure, you're regular, love? Do you know a name?

09:43No, sorry.

09:45Oh, my goodness.

09:46Oh, my goodness.

09:47Oh, my goodness.

09:48Oh, my goodness.

09:49Oh, my goodness.

09:51Oh, my goodness.

09:52Oh, my goodness.

09:53Oh, my goodness.

09:54You're on the phone.

09:55Over here, we've saved you, not going to include an incident and required to be alegre.

09:58We appreciate your cooperation and apologize for anything convenient.

10:02Look at all, my love. You alright?

10:06Whoa.

10:07I'm gonna need you to put the knife down.

10:10You don't want to be calling any closer, cos it's all broken down here.

10:13You can sort everything out, but first things first, I need you to put the knife down.

10:16What's your name, love?

10:18Who's?

10:19Yours.

10:20Why?

10:21Just asking.

10:22Stupid, it's shopping. What are you doing with my name for?

10:25Just put the knife on the floor, nudge it towards me,

10:28and then we'll deal with everything else.

10:29What's happened, lovely?

10:30I just dropped my vodka.

10:32OK, but you've been behaving erratically and people are concerned, so...

10:36Oh, yeah.

10:37Yeah, and you've clearly had a bit to drink, so...

10:39I wasn't nicking it. I was going to prepare for it.

10:42Are you thinking I was nicking it? Oh, man, I don't like a criminal...

10:44Is that what you think I look like?

10:46How many pills have you taken?

10:47Seriously, none. There was tic-tac.

10:49So, concentrate. I want you to put the knife down

10:52because it's upsetting people.

10:53I haven't got a knife.

10:55You've got a knife in your hand.

10:58That other hand.

11:00There it is.

11:00So, I want you to put it down onto the floor, gently,

11:04and kick it towards me.

11:05I would, but I've been needing it.

11:08The present is taking long enough to get this little sod out of the packet.

11:11What are you going to be needing it for?

11:13Well, between you and me and the gatepost,

11:16I've been having a bit of a shit day.

11:19Yeah?

11:20Yeah.

11:21I had some bad news last Tuesday,

11:24and there was some more excrement on top of that on Friday,

11:29and there's just some other stuff occurred this afternoon.

11:32It's just all gone downhill from there.

11:37Well, we want to help you, all right?

11:39Nothing so bad that we can't sort it out, so...

11:41Yeah, you say that.

11:42But you're not a fuck-full bitch, so don't be so glim.

11:45Do you want to talk about it?

11:46Oh, fuck it up.

11:48Are you all right?

11:49I don't know.

11:50Oh, I've lost.

11:51Now, you're a bit young for that.

11:52I fucking best have started early, didn't it?

11:54Have you considered HRT?

11:55I don't know.

11:56I don't know.

11:57Drop the knife.

12:01Drop the knife.

12:01Let go.

12:02Drop it.

12:02Ah!

12:03Ah!

12:04Ah!

12:05Ah!

12:06Ah!

12:07Ah, you fucker!

12:08Ah!

12:09Ah!

12:10Ah!

12:11Ah!

12:12Ah!

12:13Ah!

12:14Ah!

12:15Right, I'm arresting you for section five, public order.

12:17Ah!

12:18Ah!

12:19I do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence, but you do not mention, when questioned,

12:24something you'll later rely on in court.

12:26Anything you do say may be given in evidence.

12:29Ah!

12:30Do you understand?

12:319-6-7-5.

12:32We've got a 1-1-2 female.

12:33No name.

12:34No name.

12:35I don't have to say anything.

12:37Time.

12:38Take care.

12:39Take care.

12:40Stop stop.

12:45Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop.

12:50Not many of us for bad times.

12:52No name.

12:54No name.

12:55No name.

12:56No name.

12:57No name.

12:58No name.

12:59No name.

13:00No name.

13:01No name.

13:03So, Princess Peach, are you going to tell me your real name?

13:10Christ, you still here.

13:12Just because a custody sergeant wouldn't let you into his cells

13:14with all that painkiller vodka cocktail inside you

13:17doesn't mean you're not still under arrest.

13:19Give me a break.

13:26What are we waiting for now? Mental health?

13:30I suppose, sir.

13:33Where's the other fella?

13:37Nisha got her shift finished.

13:40So did mine, but we tossed a coin to see we got the pleasure.

13:42And, hey, I won.

13:44It's all wasted on me, all this sarcasm.

13:49Do you want to know a secret?

13:50Yeah.

13:51Today's my last day.

13:52When I finally finish this shift, if ever I do, that's me done forever.

13:56Yeah.

13:5730 years.

13:59So what?

14:01Big fat pension.

14:02Well, hardly.

14:05A pension, yeah.

14:08Yeah, you paid off your mortgage.

14:10Almost.

14:10My mum chipped in, so I was lucky.

14:13And freedom.

14:15Well, I say freedom.

14:15She's got dementia, so...

14:17Any of it with your mother?

14:18No, she's round the corner.

14:19What about yourself?

14:22What about myself?

14:23Today.

14:26I'm not judging you.

14:29From a police point of view, I really don't give a toss.

14:31I'm hoping when mental health turn up, they'll advise me.

14:34You're not fit to be detained.

14:35I'm just asking, as one menopausal woman to another.

14:39Well, I ain't got a mother because she died when I was nine.

14:49I ain't got a mortgage either.

14:51Are you...

15:02Kitty Eckersley.

15:05As in your dad is Keith Eckersley?

15:07well he was if he's alive

15:18last i heard he was in spain

15:22if you're gonna run a police check on me just do bear in mind most of it's made up by you lot

15:29wow

15:33so what about today kitty what happened today change your fucking record

15:46you're still feeling suicidal well i guess i'll be discussing that with the mental health team

15:52if they have a short

15:55jesus christ you're gonna be sick again no

16:00what are we doing right now i'll karaoke with his throat

16:04oh

17:11True though, Jerry. It started during the pandemic when we were all waiting to hear how many people had died the day before. And then one day, I just switched it off.

17:20Because when you look at it, it's all bombs, rocket attacks, refugees, poverty, inequality, exploitation, hunger, anger, shootings, torture, hatred, abuse, misery. And do you know what's behind it all, Jerry?

17:32It's men. Yeah, Mum. Every time, men. Mum, I'm going out tonight. Can you look after the babies? We're not babies.

17:39And it's just getting worse. Mum? Tonight, no one busy. It is. I agree. It's all men. Doing what? Shut up, Jerry.

17:45Oh, my God. This band meeting practice, don't tell Jerry to shut up. The band practice for this charity bash, I have told you.

17:53You're not serious.

17:54What? I'm serious. In fact, I was going to ask you if you can keep an eye on Auntie Mary, Miranda.

17:57Why does somebody have to keep an eye on me? Miranda. Yeah.

18:01Sure, of course. Oh, my God. Actually, I did have a panic attack in the middle of the night, thinking, blimey, what have I gone and said I'll do now?

18:09But it'll be fine. It'll be fine. And here's the thing, Jerry. Men make wars. Women pick up the pieces.

18:16This is it.

18:17So, Putin starts this war in Ukraine, and you're going to sort it all out by making a fan of yourself in a talent contest?

18:23Correct. Shit. Bet Vladimir Zelensky wishes he'd thought of that. What a numpty. Then he's kicking himself.

18:30You can take the mickey all you like. I'll be the one on the right side of history.

18:33Who's doing behind the bar if you're doing that, and Miranda's keeping an eye on Auntie Mary?

18:37I don't need anyone keeping an eye on me. You are. You're on the router.

18:42I've just told you. I'm going out. You haven't told us where.

18:45Like, that's relevant. Your mum just likes to know it.

18:47Oh, Jesus, Jerry. You don't even live here. Don't get involved.

18:51Dyson's coming round tonight, so me and him can do the bar and keep an eye on Auntie Mary.

18:56You do need keeping an eye on Mary. You go wandering.

18:58And the babies.

18:59Why have you fixed up to go out when you know you're on the router?

19:02You do know you can't just call up your mates and be a band, don't you?

19:06You do know people spend years of their lives learning to play an instrument.

19:10And you do know that traditionally, there is talent involved.

19:14It's for fun. It's for charity. You don't need to be that good.

19:17Chloe has got a point, though. Probably do have to know what you're doing just to sound, you know, bad.

19:23Well, I've got Beth. She's musical.

19:26Which one's Beth?

19:27Beth. Old friend. From school.

19:29Actually, her mum and my mum were at Greenham Common together.

19:33And Auntie Mary. She was there for four years.

19:36They're going to change the world.

19:37Yeah, look how that turned out.

19:40Right, I'm off.

19:41Oh, bye, Jerry.

19:42I'll see you when I see you.

19:44You drive safely, all right?

19:47See you.

19:48See you later.

19:48Have you seen you already, Jerry?

19:50Geriatric.

19:51Oh, my God. What have I said?

19:52She's kidding.

19:54No.

19:54See you later.

19:55See you.

19:56See you, love.

19:58Where do you find her mother?

20:00What's your band going to be called, Granny?

20:02Well, thank you, Rocco, for asking such a lovely can-do question.

20:06Well, so far, we're all women of a certain age, so...

20:10The old bags department?

20:12See, I quite like that.

20:15The bin bags?

20:17Bimbo, bin bags.

20:18Get it?

20:19Ooh, she's on fire.

20:24MUSIC PLAYS

20:26MUSIC PLAYS

20:28MUSIC PLAYS

20:31MUSIC PLAYS

20:33MUSIC PLAYS

20:35MUSIC PLAYS

20:37MUSIC PLAYS

20:39MUSIC PLAYS

20:40MUSIC PLAYS

20:41MUSIC PLAYS

21:04MUSIC PLAYS

21:06MUSIC PLAYS

21:08Let it go. Seriously. She's miserable with everyone. She's miserable because her husband

21:21left her, because her son has a crush on his in-laws, so she barely gets her luck in even

21:25at Christmas. And because she's not getting any younger. Oh, and her mother's got dementia,

21:29so... And just because she's head of department, don't run away with the idea that she's some

21:35genius teacher with a mad infectious passion for the written way. Kids think she's a boring

21:41old... Morning, Beth. Morning. Morning. Morning, Beth.

21:48Amy, have you printed out your worksheets? Oh.

21:56You made her cry. She's not three. Or 16, even. Or 17. Or 23. She's 26. She's got a master's

22:14degree. I shouldn't have to point out every morning that she has to print out her worksheets.

22:17Yes, but there are ways of saying things. On three occasions she's wasted valuable lesson

22:22time, because she's failed to print out worksheets. Or printed out the wrong sheets. Twice. Twice

22:27she's done that. I just simply pointed it out, which is my job. She might be 26, but you're

22:31twice her age. More. And we have a duty of care. You have a duty of care. You interviewed her.

22:38You chose her. I liked her. I still like her. I just... You have a responsibility towards

22:43her. And you have a duty of care to me. As well. In fact. And I'm not too great right

22:52now. It's a tonal thing, Beth. I nearly killed myself last night. I was there with a blue nylon

23:06rope. I poured myself a very large G&T. I'd written a note to my son. Tom. I had the thing

23:21around my neck. I was ready to go. And the phone rang. Twice. Can you believe that? I'm like

23:34Uncle fucking Vanya. I can't even kill myself properly.

23:41What I'm going to do, Beth, and this isn't to humiliate you, and I don't want you to hear

23:45it like that, I'm going to ask Barnaby to mentor Amy going forward. It's a step up for him. It's one

23:51less thing for you to worry about. An apology wouldn't go amiss, but I can see that might not be where

23:57you are just now, just yet. But, yeah, that's where we are now.

24:06Do you think that women of a certain age can become, you know, invisible?

24:15I mean, seriously. Can someone say, I nearly killed myself last night, and you don't even kind of

24:21hear it. Have you been to the doctor? What doctor? Your doctor. Oh. Oh, well, a while ago.

24:29He put me on antidepressants. He said they won't work for three months, so I didn't bother with them.

24:34I know you've had things to deal with over the last year with your marriage and so forth, and I

24:39sympathise with that. I do, of course I do, but there's only so many times you can bring it into work

24:45with you. And, Beth, you shouldn't exaggerate. When did I exaggerate? Not about self-harm.

24:54I wonder why you think I'm exaggerating. Again, maybe it's a term. Let's keep talking,

25:01and do remember our new policy of maintaining a community of trust.

25:08Do you ever feel like you're living in an alternative universe? No.

25:29Do you ever feel like you're building? No.

25:51Oh, shit!

26:21Kitty, I made you some tea. Come on, it's half past one. I need you to get moving. I need you to be out of here.

26:39I feel like shit. Yeah, well, let's get some breakfast in, Serge, and then you need to get down into Hebden Bridge and get on a bus.

26:45I need a shower. Have another shower. And then you've got to get up to the council offices in Halifax.

26:50Why? We talked about this last night. So they can sort you out with a temporary address and put you on a waiting list for something more permanent.

26:56You know, it'd be like some shitty infested bed and breakfast. Only till you're eligible for something more permanent.

27:01In two years. Fuck that. Yeah, obviously, it's better if you can persuade a friend to let you have a room or a settee for a bit.

27:08Do you want some muesli? God, no. Tea? Thanks. Has he got... 500 sugars. Yeah, come on. One of your boys came in earlier.

27:18To find your shoes. Adam. I think I shocked him. Yep.

27:23He's fit, isn't he? Who'd you get that off, then?

27:27So, I'm going out in about half an hour to see a fella about a guitar. So you need to get your backside into gear.

27:33Do you know what? I'm all right. I'll stay here.

27:35No, Kitty. I took you in because all the hostels were full last night and because I personally would never see a woman who's bleeding as heavily as you are.

27:43Just try to end it all. Sleep on the street. But I've got a house full with both boys still at home and I need my settee. I need my front room.

27:50I've done what I can. It was an emergency, but you've got to help yourself now. All right?

28:02Mum, hi. These aren't my biscuits. Sorry, but... What biscuits?

28:07I can't give this sort of cupboard space. It's a mystery how they got in here at all.

28:11Right, I'll tell you what. I'll be round in a bit. I was in A&E all night with...

28:15Anyway, I ended up doing overtime and didn't get back in until four in the morning, so...

28:19It'll be that Veronica.

28:21Anyway, I've told her not to come again. I'm sick of her.

28:25Mum, she comes round to help you.

28:28She's just doing her job. I'm gonna put the chain on in future and then she won't be able to get in.

28:32No, Mum.

28:33Well, I said I'll put the chain on.

28:35You know, she can get through it.

28:37What do you mean?

28:38She brings a fella in. During the night.

28:40And they have sex in my little back bedroom.

28:43Sorry, who... What?

28:45Veronica.

28:46She doesn't.

28:47Oh, no, she does. I've heard them.

28:49What fella?

28:50Well, I don't know.

28:52Mum.

28:53Why would Veronica sneak into your house in the middle of the night to have sex with a fella?

28:57Well, she'll be having a fling.

28:59Mum, she's...

29:00They can't go home if they're cheating on the partners, can they?

29:03Think it through.

29:05She's a carer.

29:06She's a professional carer.

29:08She'd lose a job. She wouldn't do that.

29:10Says you.

29:12Nobody can get into your house at night if you lock up properly, Mum.

29:18Well, she can.

29:20Well, have you seen them?

29:22No, I hear them.

29:24Well, so, how do you know it's Veronica?

29:26I recognise her voice.

29:29Have you said anything to her?

29:31No.

29:32She's a big woman.

29:33I thought she turns nasty.

29:35I'm coming round.

29:37When?

29:38Yeah, now.

29:39Oh, OK.

29:40So, what are we doing about these biscuits?

29:43I'll deal with the biscuits.

29:45See you later.

29:46Bye, bye, bye.

29:48Right, come on, shower, whatever.

29:51I need you to be heading down to that bus stop because I've got things to do.

29:57I mean now!

29:58Ugh!

30:00I don't need another shower.

30:02Fucking hell.

30:03Not your shit shampoo.

30:05Cruelty-free shampoo.

30:06And you do need another shower, love.

30:08I've got a bit of business to see to myself, in fact, so no problem.

30:11So grateful.

30:12Thank you so much.

30:13You know, the pleasure was all mine.

30:18Up, Kitty!

30:19Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

30:21Yeah.

30:31Hi, this is Tom.

30:32Please leave a message.

30:41You go fuck off.

30:45Right, fuck it.

30:51I love you.

30:52Let's go.

30:53I love you.

30:54Bye, bye.

30:55Bye, bye.

30:56Bye.

31:12I love you.

32:18Oh, yeah.

32:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.

32:20Did you not see me?

32:21Loaded with books and bags just behind you.

32:23Was you?

32:24Yeah.

32:25Or did you see me and think, oh, whatever she can manage?

32:30Or did you just not see me?

32:34There's no wrong answers.

32:36I'm just doing some research.

32:38The last one, obviously.

32:40Because of course I would have held the door open for a lovely lady like yourself.

32:43If I'd seen you.

32:44I was less than ten feet away.

32:46And closing in.

32:48Probably gazing at Elliot's assets.

32:50Of course you were.

32:52Sorry.

32:53Okay.

32:54I'd sell my granny's arse for that Gibson.

32:59Mmm.

33:00Hello, hello.

33:01You just...

33:02Look in, guys, or...?

33:03I was thinking about buying a new keyboard.

33:04Sure.

33:05Do you want to...?

33:06This way.

33:07Is it, er, for yourself?

33:08For myself, yes.

33:09Right, so.

33:10We've got these models start around the 350 mark.

33:21Very popular with people such as yourself.

33:24I'm in a rock band.

33:25I need something a bit more dangerous than that.

33:27Okay.

33:28What kind of...?

33:29I was thinking of a more proper big digital doodah.

33:34Oh, nice.

33:35Miss, did you see you're in a band?

33:37Yeah.

33:38What sort of stuff do you play?

33:40Punk...ish.

33:42Mainly.

33:43That kind of vibe.

33:44Oh.

33:45You don't normally get keys and synths in punk bands?

33:47Yeah, well, we're kind of experimental.

33:49Although...

33:50Devo...

33:51The Screamers...

33:52Tirey Teenage Riot.

33:53Yeah.

33:54Nice.

33:55Exciting.

33:56What's your band called, miss?

34:00Riot Women.

34:02We sing songs about being middle-aged and menopausal

34:05and more or less invisible.

34:06Wow.

34:07Yeah.

34:08And you thought The Clash were angry.

34:10Lost in time, I can't count the words.

34:12I said when I thought they went unheard.

34:15All of those harsh thoughts, so unkind.

34:17Cause I wanted you.

34:18And now I sit here, I'm all alone.

34:23So yes, it's a bloody mess.

34:24Tears fly.

34:25Oh.

34:26Oh.

34:27Oh.

34:28Oh.

34:29Oh.

34:30Oh.

34:31Oh.

34:32Oh.

34:33Oh.

34:34Oh.

34:35Oh.

34:36Oh.

34:37Oh.

34:38Oh.

34:39Oh.

34:40And now I sit here, I'm all alone

34:46So yes, it's a bloody mess, tears fly, oh

34:51A circle of angels, deep in war

34:57Cause I wanted you

34:58Weak as I am, no tears for you

35:06Weak as I am, no tears for you

35:11Deep as I am, I'm no one's fool

35:16Weak as I am, weak as I am

35:26Weak as I am, am, am

35:31Weak as I am, am I too much for you

35:36Weak as I am, am I too much for you

35:41Weak as I am, am I too much for you

35:46Weak as I am

35:48Weak as I am

36:06Weak as I am, am I too much for you

36:20I don't know.

36:50Hey! I'm calling the police right now!

37:05Oh, my thing!

37:06Did you hear me? I said I'm calling...

37:08Oh, you've got the fuckers. It's 999.

37:10I want my things, you lying two-faced bastard!

37:13I don't know, Liz.

37:13You think I might be interested in your little habit?

37:16Shut the fuck up.

37:17Oh, is she?

37:18Herring down.

37:19Shut your shit from your grubby little shagpat.

37:21Now, you, stay away from my husband, you two-bit whore!

37:30Nassau!

37:31We're the fire!

37:36We're the fire!

37:40Fucking disgust me.

37:42Right foot down for Kia.

37:44Yeah.

37:44It's locked!

37:56It's sick.

37:57It's sick.

37:58It's sick.

38:06Yeah, yeah, yeah, um, oh, thanks for calling me back.

38:30I didn't know that I was.

38:32Yeah, called you about an hour ago.

38:34Ah, OK.

38:35Well, I was just ringing.

38:36Hang on, what are you ringing me for?

38:38Well, I was just wondering about whether you've heard anything from the adoption services

38:42about your birth mother?

38:45Oh, er, no, I've not heard anything there.

38:49It's been four weeks.

38:51I know, yeah.

38:53Well, they're probably as short-stuffed as everybody else, aren't they?

38:57I will let you know, Mom, if I hear anything.

39:00Yeah, yeah, sure.

39:02Obviously, I'd like to know.

39:04Yeah, of course.

39:05OK, so...

39:06So?

39:07Yes, so, er, I was ringing you because, er, you know how we were coming over for Sunday

39:16lunch at the end of next month on the 27th?

39:19Yeah, for my belated Mother's Day.

39:22Is it possible that we could push it on until the 17th of the month after?

39:25We've been invited to, er, an engagement thing with Fern's friend Alicia.

39:30It's, er, obviously, it's a big one-off thing in Surrey, so...

39:36And all of our Durham friends will be there as well.

39:38So, if we miss it, we miss it.

39:40Whereas, erm...

39:42Yeah, I...

39:43I'm just...

39:44I'm just gonna go now because, erm...

39:47I've literally just got back from work and I'm still sitting in the car.

39:51Oh, sorry.

39:52No, no.

39:53Well, look, let me know when you get a minute, won't you?

39:56Yeah.

39:57Yeah.

39:58I will, I will.

39:59Bye!

40:00Bye!

40:01Bye, bye, bye, bye.

40:04No.

40:05You did well.

40:06That was really bad.

40:07You did well.

40:08No.

40:33Oh, hallelujah.

40:34I just got your message just now and I was just passing, so...

40:50I left that message at, like, 2 o'clock this afternoon.

40:53I've been stuck in theatre all day.

40:55First with a woman who came in with a cord prolapse,

40:58then I had a woman with a retained placenta after the cord snap,

41:01and then I had a woman with a third-degree tear.

41:03Yeah, seriously.

41:04When I started this job 200 years ago,

41:06he delivered one baby at once.

41:07Now I'm racing between three different women

41:09in three different recovery rooms.

41:10And Bree's?

41:12What's that for?

41:13Oh, this lad I arrested a couple of months ago.

41:15He lent me his base.

41:17Jess ran the due, asked me to do this charity thing, so...

41:20Just tell me about Mum.

41:22So, yeah, so I went round to Mum's.

41:24No sign of any break-ins or anybody doing anything

41:26they shouldn't be doing in a back bedroom,

41:28so I finally got to speak to the doctor

41:30and apparently...

41:32Hang on.

41:37Hmm.

41:38What?

41:39Aww.

41:40What?

41:42Oh, er, just this guy and that.

41:45On my...

41:47dating app.

41:48You did it?

41:49Yeah.

41:50Seen a couple of times and...

41:51Yeah.

41:52He's...

41:53Still living with his wife.

41:54Home like a hamster.

41:55Collectible tickets.

41:56Yeah, it's alright.

41:57Actually seems quite normal compared to, you know,

42:00some of the others.

42:02So, yeah, anyway, apparently this is one of the things

42:05that can happen when they get dementia.

42:07What is?

42:08You get people coming having sex in your back bedroom?

42:10No, they get auditory hallucinations.

42:12Eh?

42:13Yeah.

42:14Look it up, nurse.

42:15I deliver babies.

42:16I don't know anything about geriatrics.

42:19I was slow when she said it.

42:21I mean, she's deaf.

42:22She couldn't hear if Veronica was having sex with a giraffe

42:25in her back bedroom, never mind some fella.

42:28Anyway, the point is, for her, it's real.

42:35And she's frightened.

42:37And I know you don't want to think about it, but...

42:42I'm wondering...

42:46if it's time she came to live with one of us.

42:49Cos she's just not coping properly...

42:53anymore.

42:56Yvonne...

43:06Do you want to be in a rock band?

43:08What?

43:18They're young, they're busy, the world's their oyster.

43:20I understand, love.

43:21It would just be nice once in a while

43:23not to always be the one being shuffled off

43:25onto the back burner, again.

43:27And I know it's silly, but...

43:29I worry he might not tell me.

43:31Even if his birth mother did get in touch with him.

43:34Well, why wouldn't he?

43:35I don't know.

43:36To protect my feelings, I can imagine him saying.

43:39I just...

43:41What?

43:43I worry she'd be such a novelty.

43:47And he'd be so taken up with her that...

43:55She might be a novelty for five minutes.

43:57Why shouldn't he have a relationship with her?

43:59If that's what he wants.

44:01I just sometimes feel that...

44:03They've all had the best of me.

44:06For years.

44:08And now that I've got nothing left to give,

44:10I'm dispensable.

44:12You're boring and dispensable.

44:14No you're not.

44:15Oh, come on.

44:16Look, and whoever the hell she is,

44:18she's not going to replace you, Beth.

44:20Sorry.

44:22Going on.

44:24Hey.

44:25I've got a secret.

44:27You haven't.

44:28Have you?

44:29Just the one.

44:32OK.

44:33I bought a subscription to these online drumming lessons

44:37about six or seven months ago.

44:39And they're really good.

44:40Right, it's all pre-recorded,

44:42so, you know, you don't have to talk to anyone or anything.

44:44And I play with these, like, dampener pads on the head,

44:48so no-one can actually hear me in the garage.

44:51So you can already play?

44:53Yeah.

44:54Badly.

44:55Yeah.

44:56So when they mentioned the tank contest,

44:57I thought, this is it.

44:58This is me chance to come out of the closet.

45:00I can be as bad as I like.

45:02And everyone will actually think I've done quite well,

45:04considering I've only been at it a few short weeks.

45:06Let's have a look.

45:07Come on, then.

45:09Let's have a look.

45:10Let's have a look.

45:11Let's have a look.

45:12Let's have a look.

45:13Let's have a look.

45:14Let's have a look.

45:15Let's have a look.

45:16Let's have a look.

45:17Let's have a look.

45:18Let's have a look.

45:19Let's have a look.

45:20Oh, Chloe.

45:21Tell her to fuck off.

45:22I know.

45:23I do.

45:24Now and then, it just doesn't make any difference.

45:25You're not ordinary by the way.

45:26Steady.

45:27Can I?

45:28That's how Mary would think the aliens had landed.

45:30You should, though.

45:31It's not that.

45:32It's all the smart-arse comments I get from bloody Chloe whenever I try and do anything

45:37a bit different.

45:38She's so rude about Gerry.

45:39Honestly.

45:40Bless him.

45:41I mean, I know he's a bit bloody ordinary, but so am I.

45:43Oh, Chloe.

45:44Tell her to fuck off.

45:46I know.

45:47I do.

45:48Now and then, it just doesn't make any difference.

45:51You're not ordinary by the way.

45:53Steady.

45:54Far from it.

45:56A bit weird, but I remembered something today.

46:00I was in a music shop in Leeds and it all came back.

46:03Years ago, I bought an electric guitar.

46:06I was in the sixth form.

46:07I think you must have just dropped out.

46:09I had a Saturday job and I saved 120 quid and I bought an electric guitar and a little amp.

46:15And I had completely forgotten I'd done that.

46:19Hang on.

46:20So you can play?

46:21Oh, no, no, no.

46:22No, I didn't persevere.

46:24I don't even remember what happened to it.

46:26Must have sold it.

46:27Could never fathom the manual beyond the basics.

46:30And it never occurred to me to get lessons.

46:32But I had that desire.

46:34And so did you, didn't you?

46:37Way back then.

46:38Why do you think we never talked about it?

46:40We listened to enough music.

46:41It'd have been all right if we were lads.

46:43If we'd have been lads, it'd have been cool.

46:45Jess.

46:47I bought a keyboard this afternoon.

46:49A serious keyboard.

46:50Seriously?

46:51Oh, my God.

46:52Was it expensive?

46:54I thought, fuck it.

46:56Why not?

46:57I've been solo lately.

46:59With, er, Mum and Martin decided to bugger off for some reason that's never been clear to me.

47:05And Tom and work.

47:08But this, this really fired my imagination.

47:11This really made me think, yes, for the first time in longer than I care to remember.

47:16A buzz of something not unlike actual joy.

47:19Oh, babe.

47:21Can I say something, though?

47:22Yeah.

47:25I'm not sure about Waterloo.

47:27Oh, we don't have to do Waterloo.

47:29I think we could do something much angrier.

47:32Something more about us.

47:33Women like us who are where they are in the world and then suddenly all this nonsense happens

47:39that they never even saw coming.

47:41Yeah.

47:42Difficult parents.

47:43Oh, I can see Mary.

47:44Midlife crisis husbands.

47:45And your child still doing your head in.

47:47Still.

47:48And then the menopause.

47:49Oh, fucking menopause.

47:50Tearful at every tiny, stupid thing.

47:52The anxiety.

47:53The brain fog.

47:54And in the middle of all that, you become invisible.

47:58Even to yourself.

47:59You're right.

48:00Even when you're screaming and shouting.

48:02You're invisible.

48:03I know.

48:04How does that happen?

48:05I don't know.

48:06Just when you thought you got traction in the world.

48:08Just when you finally think, I've got it sorted.

48:11I know.

48:12So I think whatever we do, we should do it with attitude.

48:17We can do whatever we want.

48:19Hang on.

48:20Miranda.

48:21Miranda.

48:22Where have you gone, Mum?

48:23There's a couple of ladies asking after you at the bar.

48:26Right, OK.

48:27They're here.

48:28Oh!

48:29Oh!

48:30Oh!

48:31Come on!

48:32Oh!

48:33Oh!

48:34Oh!

48:35Oh!

48:36Oh!

48:37Oh!

48:38Oh!

48:39Hiya, Beth!

48:40Chloe!

48:41You look.

48:42Don't wait up.

48:45Another new fella?

48:46God knows.

48:47Another new fella?

48:48God knows.

48:58You're getting this rounded.

48:59Yeah.

49:01Jess.

49:02Yes.

49:03We're the singers.

49:04I'm Nisha.

49:05Hiya.

49:06Fantastic.

49:07This is my sister, Cam.

49:08Hiya.

49:09Hiya.

49:10Hiya.

49:11This is Beth.

49:12Beth.

49:13Beth playing piano.

49:14Keyboards.

49:15Holly's playing bass.

49:16You've not met Holly yet.

49:17So, you work with Holly?

49:18I do, yeah.

49:19Cam's a hairdresser.

49:20Hiya.

49:21And we're both tone deaf, so we're gonna nail it.

49:22Oh, yeah.

49:23We do out for a laugh.

49:24You tone deaf?

49:25Waterloo.

49:26Couldn't escape if I wanted to.

49:28Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

49:29Waterloo.

49:30Well, I...

49:31Well, my bid is to be with you.

49:32I had a thought about that, actually.

49:33In fact, what I was wondering was, instead of doing Waterloo, we could sing something else.

49:37Yeah.

49:38Like what?

49:39Well, for instance, I was thinking of...

49:41Yes, the newly retired Lady of Leisure, Holly Gaskill.

49:45Get out the champagne, Miranda.

49:47No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

49:48Oh, yes, yes, yes.

49:49Come on.

49:5030 years.

49:51It's the end of an era.

49:52You can't retire from the force without a glass of champagne.

49:55We've got it all ready.

49:56Not for me.

49:57I'm gassing tolling.

49:58I've brought Yvonne, my sister.

50:00She did guitar years ago when we were young, so...

50:03Hello.

50:04Hi.

50:05Beth, Holly, Yvonne.

50:06So, what's the plan exactly?

50:07Need to know what nights you're rehearsing, how long for?

50:09Because I've got a lot of other commitments.

50:11Also, when is this event?

50:14Erm...

50:15And have you got someone who can actually sing?

50:17Because that's the key to something like this.

50:18They don't want someone who can sing.

50:19They want someone who's sheet.

50:21Well, hang on.

50:22We don't want someone who's sheet.

50:23We just don't mind if they aren't perfect.

50:25I thought it was a lack of talent contest.

50:27Lack of talent contest?

50:28That's what she said.

50:29No, that was a joke.

50:30It's a talent contest, but it's local,

50:32so it'll all probably be a bit, you know, shit.

50:34But that's all that meant.

50:36And we're performing...

50:37What?

50:38Oh, let's get it on the karaoke.

50:39Can we turn the karaoke on, Jess?

50:40No, no, no.

50:41It's board games night.

50:42This lot will panic and clear off if you think it's karaoke night.

50:45We're not rehearsing.

50:46We're not having a movie.

50:47No, no.

50:48We're just discussing.

50:49Here you go.

50:50Can I suggest?

50:51Champagne, champagne.

50:52Ooh.

50:53Can I just suggest that we don't get too hung up on Waterloo?

50:55What I was wondering was whether we shouldn't cover something a bit edgier?

50:59I like Waterloo.

51:00Oh, it's a good pop song.

51:01But if you're talking about being in a rock band, then surely you want to be doing something

51:05a bit more...

51:06More, um...

51:07Yeah.

51:08I mean, wouldn't it be kind of cool if we could do...

51:11Well...

51:12Well, what is the ultimate rock and roll song?

51:17Oh, God.

51:18Ultimate rock and roll song.

51:19Pass.

51:20Is there smoke on the water?

51:22Layla.

51:23Back in black.

51:24All night long?

51:25Age of 17.

51:26It smells like teen armpits.

51:27Satisfaction!

51:28I'm talking about satisfaction.

51:29Can you imagine satisfaction sung by women?

51:31Women of a certain age.

51:32Well, most of us.

51:33Isn't that interesting?

51:34Yeah.

51:35I'd do anything.

51:36As long as I know which strings to twang, pluck, pick, pick off.

51:37Hang on.

51:38Satisfaction.

51:39Think it through.

51:40The words.

51:41It's all wrong.

51:42We can't sing that.

51:43Why not?

51:44We're women.

51:45Well, so what?

51:46It's funny.

51:47Because we're women.

51:48Is it?

51:49How?

51:50Well, poignant, then.

51:51Like we're still up for it.

51:52Yeah.

51:53Can you imagine satisfaction sung by women?

51:54Well, most of us.

51:55Isn't that interesting?

51:56Yeah.

51:57I'd do anything.

51:58As long as I know which strings to twang, pluck, pick, pick off.

51:59Hang on.

52:00Satisfaction.

52:01Like we're still up for it.

52:03I think it's funny.

52:05And poignant.

52:06Well, not nearly as funny as a bunch of 80-year-old blokes singing it.

52:09No, you don't.

52:10It's stupid.

52:11It's not stupid.

52:12It's...

52:13It's challenging.

52:16It's a suggestion.

52:20Look, if we don't want to do what, Lou?

52:21Why don't we do...

52:22Ring, ring.

52:23Honey, honey.

52:24Money, money, money.

52:25Ooh, gimme, gimme, gimme.

52:26Do that thing.

52:27Yeah, that's still kind of missing the point I was trying to make about edgier.

52:30But, erm...

52:31Is it meant to be edgy, though?

52:32Is it not just meant to be a laugh?

52:33Sure.

52:34I'm just suggesting that we can be edgy if we choose to be.

52:38Let's just stick with Waterloo, for God's sake.

52:40I need to know dates.

52:41I need to know what nights you're rehearsing, where, how long for, and the date of the actual

52:45thing.

52:46Yeah, let's not try and actually enjoy ourselves-y.

52:47What, by being angry?

52:49Yvonne just likes to pin things down, be clear about dates.

52:54It's her way of enjoying herself.

52:56Sure.

52:57Well, I've got things I could be doing myself this evening.

52:59I just don't think we should be doing Waterloo, just because it's the first thing that Jess

53:02thought of, which she admits might not be the right thing.

53:05Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

53:07Champagne.

53:08No, I'm driving.

53:09Oh, right, OK.

53:10So, look, I think the date the PTA you're working towards is the 17th of next month.

53:15But why is she, why are you even here, Yvonne?

53:18Is it?

53:19If all you care about is how much this is going to inconvenience you.

53:22Because I don't like letting people down at a later date if I haven't established all

53:25the facts in the first place.

53:27Thought that was a bit of a no-brainer.

53:33Sorry, can I just say, congratulations to Holly.

53:38No, 30 years of public service, come on.

53:41Cheers!

53:42Cheers, sweetheart.

53:43It's amazing.

53:44Amazing.

53:45Thanks.

53:46Not all good at all.

53:47Fine, whatever, let's sing a song that makes us all look like lesbians.

53:50I don't mind looking like a lesbian.

53:52I don't mind looking like a lesbian.

53:54She is a lesbian.

53:56Actually.

53:57Right, OK.

53:59Tell you what, Jess, you fool me when you have decided what we're doing,

54:02because I've got a pile of marking that I need to be doing.

54:05So, I'll see you later.

54:06Oh I'll send…

54:07I'm sorry.

54:09It's back, I'll call you.

54:13You're not in now.

54:16Contact me, sheriff!

54:17Hey!

54:18Hang on!

54:19I'll call you!

54:20Go on!

54:21No!

54:22Why are you?

54:23To be continued...

54:53I just want you...

54:55I might last today, yeah...

55:03I just want you...

55:05I think you want...

55:08I think you never want it again...

55:11I think you want...

55:14I think you never want it again...

55:17Oh, I think you're...

55:20And I want you to go...

55:24Take everything, take everything...

55:27I want you to...

55:30And the sky was all fine...

55:36I want to get more violent, more violent...

55:42And I'm one with no soul...

55:48One above and one below...

55:54Mine is today, yeah...

56:00Mine is forever...

56:06Mine is forever...

56:12Mine is forever...

56:14When they get what they want...

56:16And they never want it again...

56:19They get what they want...

56:22And they never want it again...

56:25Go on...

56:27Take everything, take everything...

56:29I want you to...

56:31Go on...

56:32Take everything, take everything...

56:35How dare you to do from the start...

56:39To start...

56:40Just how this would end...

56:43When I get what I want...

56:46And I never want it again...

56:49Go on...

56:51Take everything, take everything...

56:53I want you to...

56:55Go on...

56:56Take everything, take everything...

56:59I want you to...

57:01Do...

57:06It's now live...

57:08All mine...

57:10All mine...

57:11All mine...

57:14Take everything, take everything...

57:16Take everything, take everything...

57:18Take everything...!

57:22Come on!

Riot Women - Season 1 Episode 1

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