Riot Women Season 1 Episode 4

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Transcript

00:00I mean it's extraordinary, they're meeting like that, not realising they had a connection.

00:11And how did they meet exactly?

00:13I told you.

00:14Beth heard Kitty singing in a pub.

00:16I did tell him.

00:17And it was here.

00:18Here?

00:19Well, not here.

00:20A pub in Hebden Bridge, but I shouldn't think it would be this one.

00:23I mean, didn't you say it was a bit of...

00:25A bit finicky-sticky car.

00:26A bit of sawdust.

00:27And then what?

00:28Does Beth go around picking up women in disreputable pubs nowadays, Martin?

00:32Is that what you would used to do?

00:33Can you pass the mayo, Dad?

00:35No.

00:36No, she was looking for a singer for this comedy rock band, so...

00:39This do.

00:40This charity do this evening.

00:41So?

00:42So.

00:43She was just walking past a pub, and she heard this amazing voice, so in she went, and Kitty

00:49really can sing.

00:50Hmm.

00:51Apparently.

00:52Hmm.

00:53I mean, possibly not Maria Callas, but...

00:55And so no more information yet about who...

00:58Who your...

01:00Biological father is, Tom?

01:02I'm...

01:05We've only ever actually met her that once, so...

01:08Oh, really?

01:09Mm.

01:10So this is only the second time we all have asked...

01:11Well, they were going to come to us in Sheffield, Beth and Kitty, for something to eat,

01:14but we never seemed to be able to fix a date, did we?

01:16Okay.

01:17Then we were going to go up there again, but it didn't happen, so yeah.

01:19No, apart from the odd text...

01:21You know, it will probably take some time before she's able to talk about something like that.

01:26Of course not.

01:27Of course not.

01:28I mean, you don't know if she was raped, if it was incest...

01:32Beth, Beth, Beth.

01:33We've always thought you were a bit gay.

01:36And that's very sweet, Fern, but...

01:38I'm not gay.

01:40Kitty's...

01:41I'm your birth mother.

01:50How do you...

01:51How do you know?

01:52She's had a letter a few weeks ago, from the adoption services, after you got in touch with her.

01:56The dates all matched, and the ages.

01:59I mean, we need to verify it, of course, but...

02:02It seems pretty conclusive.

02:05So how...

02:06How come that you found, erm...

02:10Kitty?

02:11Before me?

02:13It was honestly a complete fluke.

02:15We got to know each other before either of us knew that we had any kind of connection.

02:19You should have told me.

02:22Before...

02:23Before we came.

02:24She tried to.

02:25She left a load of messages for you to phone her back.

02:27But you didn't.

02:30Are you alright?

02:33Yep.

02:34Are you, Kitty?

02:35You deserve better than this.

02:39You come in here, and the first thing you do is tell your mother...

02:42You get your wife to tell your mother why you can't stay long, even though you haven't been here for months.

02:46And then you look me up and down, like I'm something you just trod in when you haven't got a fucking clue of who I am.

02:51And then you tell her you're going on a holiday with your dad, because you're worried he's lonely.

02:55What about her?

02:56Have you any idea what she's been through lately?

02:59This kind, brilliant woman.

03:01No, you don't.

03:02You've no idea, because you never see her, and you never fucking ask.

03:05Kitty, don't.

03:06Do you mean?

03:08Erm...

03:09I've just been a bit low recently.

03:10That's all.

03:11Have you?

03:12Have you?

03:13Why?

03:14Oh...

03:15I'll go.

03:16No, no, don't.

03:17Please don't.

03:18What did you want me for?

03:19I mean, was there a particular reason why he wanted to contact me now?

03:22I just want to know what I looked like.

03:26We, erm...

03:29We were thinking about starting a family.

03:31Really?

03:32Oh.

03:33And...

03:35Well, I think that's what prompted it.

03:37If there was any medical history that we should know about.

03:42Medical?

03:47Don't think so.

03:50I don't know, I've no idea.

03:55I'm sorry, Beth, I'm not going to go.

03:56No, please.

03:57Kitty.

03:58Don't.

03:59Don't.

04:04Well...

04:06What have you been depressed about?

04:08Oh.

04:09You know.

04:10Granny.

04:11Work.

04:12Been on my own.

04:13And I'm just at that age.

04:16Hmm.

04:17So...

04:18Anxiety, insomnia, apathy, low mood, brain fog.

04:21Feeling like you're disappearing down a black hole.

04:24Drowning.

04:25Going mad.

04:27Fading away.

04:28Just...

04:30That sort of thing.

04:31Look, I don't want you two to get off on the wrong foot.

04:38And I did ring you last night, Tom.

04:40Oh.

04:41What time is it?

04:42Doors open at seven and we don't want to be sitting at the back.

04:46Or do we?

04:47Let's start a riot.

04:48We won't be quiet.

04:49A riot when we're gonna set this world on fire.

05:04Do you feel randy?

05:06I feel nervous.

05:07You know what I mean?

05:08Since I went to doctors.

05:09What?

05:10The HRT?

05:11Yes.

05:12I do.

05:13It comes over me every now and again.

05:14The most unlikely moments.

05:17Which is bizarre.

05:18And delightful.

05:19Because I had thought all that was behind me.

05:21Do you know what?

05:22Right now I could shag anything that moves.

05:25Anything with a pulse.

05:27Anything.

05:29I thought I could.

05:32Either that.

05:34I'm gonna have to go into toilets and sort myself out.

05:37Not on the infants, Kitty.

05:38Come in with me if you want.

05:39Finish me off.

05:40I wouldn't know where to start.

05:42Don't be so disingenuous.

05:44I'm gonna stop teaching you all those big nerves.

05:46Maybe it's nerves.

05:47Maybe it's the adrenaline.

05:48I think it probably is the HRT.

05:51I've started to feel about a hundred years younger in the last few weeks.

05:54You look great.

05:56So do you.

05:57Come on then.

05:58It'll take two minutes.

06:01I'm on fire.

06:02I'm very fond of you, Kitty.

06:04And it's sweet of you to offer.

06:05But contrary to what Fern thinks.

06:08A deep dive into lesbianism at this late stage is not on the top of my list of things to do.

06:13We need to get you a fella.

06:15You know Martin's coming, don't you?

06:16The thing is with Martin though, he's long gone, baby.

06:21No, I'm just saying.

06:24And my in-laws.

06:25Bloody hell.

06:26You wait till you meet them.

06:28Oh yes, we're masked, Cap.

06:31Anything for the refugees.

06:32Ha ha ha ha ha.

06:34Of course it's all housewife.

06:36Couldn't give a fuck about the refugees.

06:37They're just coming to gawp at you.

06:39Might be disappointed, won't they?

06:41What are we going to do about this low opinion you have of yourself?

06:45Dunno, drown me in a bucket.

06:47Do you feel like that when you're singing?

06:50On stage in front of people with that fabulous voice.

06:53Yeah.

06:54Tom hates me.

06:56Don't say that.

06:57I don't care.

06:58I mean I do, but you know.

07:00As long as you and him are alright.

07:01He doesn't know you.

07:02But he will.

07:03In time.

07:04For fuck's sake.

07:05Can't use me own kit.

07:06Why?

07:07I've got to use the drum kit belonging to the fellow from that grandad band.

07:08Because there isn't time to take more than one kit on and off stage during the performance.

07:11And they've all decided in advance, without consulting me, because, you know, why would they, that we're using his kit.

07:16But he's being a twat.

07:17And he won't let me practise with it properly.

07:18But, which wouldn't be a problem if his hi hat and his snare weren't like way up there.

07:22And his crash and his ride weren't way up there.

07:24So look, if your august tits up in the back, you know.

07:26I don't know.

07:27I don't know.

07:28I don't know.

07:29I don't know.

07:30I don't know.

07:31I don't know.

07:32I don't know.

07:33I don't know.

07:34I don't know.

07:35I don't know.

07:36I don't know.

07:37I don't know.

07:38I don't know.

07:39So look, if your august tits up in the percussion section, you'll know why.

07:42Yes.

07:43Jessie.

07:44Look, I'm so sorry.

07:45It's crazy.

07:46Please don't fall out with me.

07:48Look, we've had so many entries.

07:50And if I have to clear the entire roster between acts, we are going to be here till midnight.

07:55Charlie, it's fine.

07:56We'll work with whatever's there.

07:58We can do people.

07:59We're focused on the refugees.

08:00I mean, we have been practising solid for like six weeks, you know.

08:03But if it's more important for him to show off his shiny new trap, rather than be fair

08:08or reasonable, you know.

08:09No, I actually feel sorry for him.

08:11Are we having a sound show?

08:12Yes.

08:13When?

08:14Well, the rest of your band is out there now.

08:16That's what we're doing.

08:17OK, so we don't have long.

08:20Hallelujah.

08:21You should have texted us.

08:22Yeah, because I'm your PA.

08:24Jess, do you want to try this again?

08:25I've adjusted everything down a notch so it's not too high for you, not too low for me.

08:29And I've pulled the crash and the ride in an inch or so.

08:32Come and have a go.

08:34See what I mean.

08:35Bastard.

08:40I think she's upset.

08:41Inez has joined the PTA now.

08:43She's stepped down, so...

08:45She needs to be on HRT like the rest of us.

08:47She'd soon get over shit like that.

08:49Language.

08:50Kitty, look at this.

08:52Yaron delivered this baby six weeks ago.

08:57I'm with Jacob.

08:58Hiya.

08:59He's been helping Yvonne with a guitar.

09:06Do you want the cuddle?

09:07No.

09:08I'll start lactating.

09:09I'll get ridiculous with babies.

09:11For fuck's sake, it's only a baby.

09:13Ten a penny.

09:14Come on.

09:15We haven't got so long.

09:16Can't you do that later?

09:17Come on.

09:19It's hit cracking.

09:20I need to nip out and get some supplies before kickoff.

09:22I've been climbing up the walls.

09:23Where's Holly?

09:24Toilet.

09:25She's got diarrhoea.

09:26And Anisha don't get off till six.

09:28She did tell you that, didn't she?

09:32Oh, here she is.

09:35Oh, you're so nervous you've shat yourself.

09:37It's not that big a gig, love.

09:39I knew this would happen.

09:41Oh.

09:42Oh.

09:43Take your guitar to the toilet with you.

09:45Yeah, well I couldn't get it off, could I?

09:46I had to muddle out so fast.

09:47You saw that arse action you've been involved with.

09:49Not.

09:52Is it nerves, Holly?

09:53Will you be able to go on?

09:54Yeah.

09:55Yeah.

09:56What I'm really nervous about is the fact that my mother's decided she's coming.

09:59So I've had to persuade Adam and Carl to bring her in.

10:01So it's been all...

10:03What if she needs to take into the toilet?

10:04I'm not taking her.

10:05It's...

10:06Why, why, why?

10:07Can't they just rise to the occasion now and again?

10:10About turning everything into...

10:11Here.

10:12Fucking opera.

10:13Sorry.

10:14Doing this.

10:15You what?

10:16I can't come.

10:17I can't get there.

10:18You're joking.

10:19Sergeant Arsall's just dropped three hours compulsory overtime on us all because Scunthorpe's

10:23beaten Halifax 5-0 at home.

10:25So all the numpties are going to get pissed and kick each other's heads in.

10:28Hold on, babe.

10:30They've just dropped three hours compulsory overtime on them all because Scunthorpe have

10:34beat Halifax 5-0 at home so they need extra policing because all the numpties are going

10:37to get pissed and kick each other's heads in, apparently.

10:40No shit.

10:41I'm going to look like a right turnip doing these moves on me up.

10:43Hang on.

10:44No, wait.

10:45Why don't I?

10:46I can move you down the programme.

10:48So I had you on at the end of the first act, but if you went at the very end, then...

10:53Yeah.

10:54Cos...

10:55Yeah.

10:56We won't be over by half past nine.

10:58Not even close.

10:59Thank God.

11:00Did you hear that?

11:02Yeah.

11:03Yeah, yeah, yeah.

11:04Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

11:05Right, we're doing the sound check-a-bots.

11:06Yeah.

11:07One, two, what, can you put this on, please?

11:09One, two, one, two, one.

11:13My life.

11:14Upon a noon, Napoleon did surrender.

11:16That goes.

11:17That might help you.

11:18Yeah.

11:19That might help you.

11:20Yeah.

11:21That might help you.

11:22Yeah.

11:23That might help you.

11:24Yeah.

11:25That might help you.

11:26Yeah.

11:27That might help you.

11:28Right, I'm getting chewing gum, chocolate.

11:30Yep.

11:31Right.

11:32I'm moving.

11:33Yeah, I'll make sure.

11:35Oh,치 yeah.

11:36I'll go.

11:37Hello, I'll make sure.

11:38Just shooting on there.

11:39Well, I'll just follow your maim.

11:40Yeah.

11:41Haiti?

11:46Haiti!

11:49Haiti!

11:50Hey!

11:52Gitchy!

11:53It's done.

11:55Get on's.

11:56It's done.

11:57It's done.

11:59You kiss me break, it's done.

12:00Hey!

12:01For for sake!

12:02That wasn't fucking money for him, that fucking money!

12:03Don't you fucking touch me!

12:04I'm not gonna touch your kitty.

12:05I just want to talk to you.

12:06What about her?

12:07You look amazing.

12:08Fuck off!

12:09Look, I'm not wishy, Eleanor.

12:10We never went to Antigua.

12:11Well, I didn't.

12:12She took the kids and her mother.

12:13I'm living in the flat.

12:14Our flat.

12:15She wants to go home.

12:16I don't want to go home.

12:17I don't want to go home.

12:18I don't want to go home.

12:19I don't want to go home.

12:20I don't want to go home.

12:21I don't want to go home.

12:22I don't want to go home.

12:23I don't want to go home.

12:24I don't want to go home.

12:25You're not sure than she took kids and her mother.

12:26I'm living in the flat.

12:27Our flat.

12:28She wants to divorce.

12:29Oh, fascinating.

12:30Look, come back to me.

12:33What?

12:34I'm serious!

12:35You got your mates because you're such a fucking coward.

12:38You got your mates from the rugby club to come and knock me about and chuck me out on the

12:43street with nothing, literally nothing, and now you want me to come back.

12:45I ended up in hospital that night.

12:46Yeah, but you didn't stop me smashing up my Jaguar the next day, did you?

12:49Come on, Kitty.

12:50You think that makes us even?

12:51Yeah, but we both made mistakes.

12:53I haven't even started.

12:54I haven't even started.

12:55Look, I'm sorry.

12:58I miss you.

13:02You miss having someone who can supply with A-grade shit to shove up my nose.

13:07And do the kind of contortions in bed your wife wouldn't do.

13:11I've moved on.

13:13I've got stuff to do, so seriously.

13:15Fuck off!

13:16What are you?

13:21Fuck him!

13:23You filthy fucking whore!

13:27You die in a ditch one day, you.

13:30Like you deserve.

13:32Like all the rest of you.

13:34You dirty, nasty fanny.

13:39You set, you mucking bitch.

13:46It's the best.

14:11Right, come on.

14:12Are we getting out?

14:13Are we getting?

14:14Yeah, yeah.

14:15Right.

14:16Step to the side.

14:18Hello.

14:19Hiya, Nancy.

14:20Come on.

14:21Where are we going?

14:22Here.

14:23So I was just standing there.

14:25I think he was going anywhere.

14:27Just standing there.

14:30Listen, listen.

14:32Is it definite now about this kitty lady?

14:37Yeah, we've had the documents.

14:39And so how do you feel about it?

14:40You don't talk about who my biological father is, so I just have to assume that, yeah, I wasn't a very nice person.

14:54Rape, incest.

14:55Maybe.

14:56Maybe.

14:57Maybe not.

14:58Well, don't you think that if it was at all palatable she would have told me?

14:59Because of the house?

15:00What?

15:01She doesn't want to talk about it.

15:02Because she was complicit in it.

15:03Complicit.

15:0412?

15:05No.

15:06and she wasn't a very nice person.

15:10Rape, incest...

15:13Maybe.

15:16Maybe not.

15:17Well, don't you think that if it was at all fallible,

15:19she would have told me?

15:22It was a doubt.

15:23What?

15:25She doesn't want to talk about it.

15:28Because she was...

15:30...complicit in it.

15:31Complicit?

15:32At 12?

15:33No.

15:34Not complicit, but...

15:39I was talking to a friend at work,

15:42and when I said her name, he went like,

15:44oh, my God.

15:45And then he told me about this podcast,

15:47Gangs of the North,

15:49and there is literally one about her family.

15:52The Eckersleys.

15:53Keith Eckersley.

15:55Deeply, seriously unsavoury people.

15:59So how do I feel about her?

16:00I don't know, is the answer.

16:02It's just...

16:03not...

16:08I thought we'd have things to say to each other.

16:09We didn't.

16:10The whole lunch was just awkward.

16:11It was ridiculous.

16:12I mean, I had no idea it was coming.

16:14Yeah, it does sound like it was handled rather badly.

16:16I always imagined...

16:22I'd like her, and...

16:26Don't know that I'd do.

16:31Oh, here she is!

16:32Miranda, we need you.

16:33Miranda.

16:34Why?

16:35It's not entirely impossible...

16:36It's unlikely, but it's possible.

16:37It's unlikely, but it's possible.

16:38Nisha isn't going to get here on time.

16:39So we wondered...

16:40We wondered if you'd step in.

16:41We can do the backing vocals.

16:42I can teach you the moves.

16:45Er, why me?

16:46Because you've heard your mum warbling all our numbers.

16:48At the top of her voice, apparently.

16:50At your house.

16:51So?

16:52Oh, I can't sing.

16:53Well, neither can I.

16:54That's our USP, Nisha and me.

16:55We're hopeless.

16:56Look, she will get here.

16:58It's just so if she doesn't...

16:59Which she will!

17:00I don't have to do the moves on my own.

17:03That's all.

17:06Er, okay.

17:09Good girl.

17:10Oh, my God.

17:11Is there something where we can rehearse,

17:12not in front of everybody?

17:13Yeah, come with me.

17:14Yeah!

17:17But he's bigger.

17:18He's bigger.

17:26You got me thinking that I'm wasting my time.

17:29Don't bring me down.

17:32No, no, no, no, no.

17:38I'll tell you once more,

17:39before I get off the floor.

17:41Don't bring me down.

17:47You wanna stay out with your fancy friends.

17:51I'm telling you it's gonna be the end.

17:54Don't bring me down.

17:56No, no, no, no, no.

18:02I'll tell you once more,

18:04before I get off the floor.

18:06Don't bring me down.

18:10Don't bring me down.

18:14Don't bring me down.

18:18Don't bring me down.

18:20Don't bring me down.

18:21Don't bring me down.

18:22Don't bring me down.

18:23Don't bring me down.

18:24Don't bring me down.

18:25What happened to the guy you know?

18:30How are we going to see each other around the room just in case Neisha's been letting it out?

18:33Neisha's.

18:34Please.

18:41PHONE RINGS

18:43BISER

18:45Where are ya?

18:46You're not at the Duke, I'm doing something else this evening so don't even bother showing up your head.

18:49I know you are. I'm here.

18:51Where?

18:52I went to Duke and somebody said you were here.

18:55So where are you sitting?

18:56Here. You're at school?

18:58Affirmative. I'm stood at the back. Where are ya?

19:00How have you got in? Tickets sold out weeks ago.

19:03Yeah, I lifted a couple from this old fella's jacket pocket. It's a shame.

19:07They'll probably let him in anyway, won't they? Him and his missus.

19:10He's lost the ticket at the park, hasn't he?

19:13Somebody said I'd get a free drink with me ticket.

19:16Jesus Christ. What the fuck are you doing here?

19:19I've got some intel for you about your dad.

19:21Where are you sat?

19:23No, I'm not there. I won't tell if you've got about my dad.

19:25Are you kidding me, man? I've got my tea sorted now.

19:28I'm not in the audience. I'm with one of the hats.

19:32Oh. Okay.

19:34What about my dad?

19:36Hey, there's a couple of seats.

19:38What about my dad?

19:39Oh, there's two seats just here.

19:41No, Charlie. These are the same for Auntie Mary and Dyson.

19:45Okay, well, er...

19:47Are you there? Are you listening?

19:48Oh, I was there. There's one thing to run along here.

19:50Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

19:52Right, look, I'd better go. It's kicking off.

19:55So I'll find you after. Is there an interval?

19:57Yeah, I don't know.

19:59Break a leg.

20:00I've had a pleasure watching the acts rehearse before today.

20:10And let me tell you, you're in for a treat.

20:13It's so wonderful to gather at a school...

20:15Would you mind holding me that, love, while I open the crisps?

20:18...is important to cause. And all proceeds can come out again,

20:21and we'll be going to charity,

20:23and your generosity will provide essential resources

20:26to those who are most in need.

20:28So, together, we can make a real difference in rest of the genes

20:31while seeking safety, hope, and a new beginning.

20:37You're chewing.

20:38I'm not chewing.

20:39I can hear you're chewing.

20:40I'm sucking.

20:42I'll be like that.

20:44I'm not chewing.

20:45Don't say it, then.

20:46Oh, no.

20:50No way, no way.

20:51You've cheated.

20:52You've put another one in.

20:53When have I?

20:54You'd have seen me do it.

20:55All right, come on.

20:56Best of three.

20:57Oh.

20:59That's right, love.

21:00You've strolling.

21:06All right, let it go, let it go.

21:11Knob.

21:12Yep.

21:13Nine, six, seven, five.

21:14Are you free?

21:15Landlord got the old cock,

21:16has got some lads kicking off.

21:17There's a fire to escalate,

21:18and there's six or seven of them,

21:19apparently,

21:20and he's requesting police assistance.

21:28Seriously, you've got a band together in six weeks.

21:30Yeah.

21:32Nine, six, seven, five, code six.

21:34What, you can all play your instruments and everything?

21:36Yeah.

21:37We're shit hot.

21:38Are you?

21:39Nah, but we'll have a laugh.

21:40Well, they're all gonna bloody laugh.

21:42What am I doing?

21:45Get up!

21:46Take him down, mate.

21:47Get up!

21:48Get up!

21:49Get up!

21:50Get up!

21:51Get up!

21:52Get up!

21:53Get up!

21:54Get up!

21:55Get up!

21:56Get up!

21:57Get up!

21:58Get up!

21:59Get up!

22:00All right, Bollywood.

22:01Did you know your little piggy wagons had a little accident outside?

22:04For fuck's sake.

22:05You're gonna get your tits out for the fuck?

22:07Take them!

22:08Unscrew the light bulb.

22:09Pack the dog.

22:10Dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga.

22:18You're under arrest.

22:19Shh.

22:20Get up!

22:24Get up!

22:25White male grey train is like a shark as he's gone up King Edward Street.

22:29I've got him.

22:31I've got him down the dead end.

22:32You're under arrest.

22:33With criminal damage.

22:34Do you understand?

22:35No.

22:36Up against that wall?

22:37It's all! You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention one question or something, you later rely on and call.

22:42Anything you do say may be given evidence. Do you understand?

22:47Put that down. Put that down.

22:49Yeah?

22:50Where are you?

22:53Grab my stick!

22:54Magic!

22:57Smash your camera! Smash your radio!

23:07Ah!

23:17Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

23:26Wow!

23:33Had no time to see my crime.

23:38Love me.

23:40You had no time for a wife or child.

23:44We both thought it's strange

23:50And then I realised they were talking about my baby, not my husband

23:54If you wouldn't mind just putting your hands up to help me, please

23:58That would be a really rubbish trick, let's get rid of that

24:14That would be a really rubbish trick

24:44Kitty, can I nick some more of your vodka?

24:49Sure

24:50Kitty, can I? I'll pay you back

24:52No, pay me back, kid

24:53You're all going to be pissed by the time we go on

24:55Yay

24:59Keep your nerve, woman

25:01I just think it would be, you know, quite something

25:03If we didn't make fools of ourselves

25:05Oh, we're not going to make fools of ourselves

25:07We are totally going to make fools of ourselves

25:09That's why we're here, isn't it?

25:12That's the interval, folks

25:13Any good?

25:14Yeah

25:15I don't think we've got any real competition, though

25:35No, I don't, I don't want that

25:37It's all right, it's all right

25:39It's all right

25:40It's all right

25:41So, do you have children at the school?

25:51Me? No

25:53I'm here to see, er, me girlfriend

25:57Yeah, she's in one of the acts

25:59Oh, really? Which one?

26:00Oh, no, she hasn't been on yet

26:01Oh

26:02This will be her now

26:03Kitty?

26:04SpongeBob, you know, are you there?

26:05Hiya

26:06Where are you?

26:07I want you to meet me outside

26:08In the infant's playground, round front

26:09I want you to meet me outside

26:10I want you to meet me outside

26:11I want you to meet me outside

26:12In the infant's playground, round front

26:13I want you to meet me outside

26:14I want you to meet me outside

26:15In the infant's playground, round front

26:28It's very good.

26:58I'm enjoying myself.

27:00What do you know?

27:02He's here. He's in England.

27:04He's been extradited from wherever he was and he's in Wakefield prison.

27:12How do you know?

27:14Well, I know somebody. You visit somebody in there.

27:18When?

27:19How long has he been there?

27:21Pass.

27:22Why wasn't it in the news?

27:25It probably was.

27:26Have you not Googled him?

27:28Do you mind if I get back inside?

27:38Only a fella said to be quick getting another drink because he wanted to crack on with second half.

27:41Yeah, yeah.

27:429-8-3-7. I'm at Shakespeare Street now.

28:08Not stark.

28:109-8-3-7 leaving.

28:16Keep us updated.

28:22Can't see anybody.

28:23Hang on.

28:30I found a radio and a body cam.

28:44Missha?

28:45Missha?

28:469-8-3-7 contact me.

28:47Missha?

29:09Missha?

29:10You've got yourself into a right pickle here, haven't you?

29:22You daft bitch.

29:24Hear me now.

29:27Okay, okay.

29:29Yeah, I will do. I will do.

29:33Just take a few snaps from me, mate.

29:36Don't mind, yeah?

29:38No. Of course you don't. Why would you?

29:539837.

29:55I've got Nisha. I've found her.

30:02She's been beaten up and cuffed to some railings. Can I have supervision down here?

30:069837. All of this.

30:08She's been aware and on this.

30:10Contacting...

30:11Go on, pull your pants up.

30:13I'm not even tempted.

30:15Telling fucking Holly to go upstairs and squeal to the boss.

30:18Smart move.

30:20Not.

30:21No.

30:22No!

30:23No!

30:24No!

30:25No!

30:26No!

30:27No!

30:28No!

30:29No!

30:31Ah!

30:32Jesus, let's get you down.

30:34Jesus, let's get you down.

30:51Ox.

31:04Say down, down, down, down, down, down, in a shape of three.

31:21Hi, this is Lisa.

31:22Please, look.

31:24I don't get it.

31:25She should be here by now.

31:26She should have been here half an hour ago.

31:29Have you texted?

31:30Yeah.

31:31Can you ring where she works?

31:33What?

31:34999?

31:35No.

31:36There'll be an office number.

31:37Oh.

31:38Oh, my God.

31:39We're gonna be on soon.

31:40You'll be all right, kid.

31:42It's just for a laugh.

31:43It's just for fun.

31:44Where are you going?

31:45Find out where the others are.

31:52Fuck!

31:57What are you doing all stuff together?

31:59Who?

32:00He knows them dancing fucking Mary.

32:02Shit, they're good.

32:03Do you know what?

32:04I've seen hundreds of bands like this.

32:05You know, technically they're okay, but they're not saying anything.

32:09They're not doing anything new.

32:11We shouldn't sing more salute.

32:12We should do the menopause song you and Kitty wrote.

32:15We haven't practiced it.

32:16Yes, we have.

32:17I have.

32:18I agree.

32:19Might as well be properly unashamedly punk.

32:21Not give a shit if it's not perfect.

32:23And if you don't like it, fuck them.

32:25Is this the vocal speaking?

32:26What if it is?

32:27You're running five riot women.

32:29The last two acts before you have now officially dropped out due to technical issues.

32:33So, I've just got Mr. Topless and his magical musical kittens and then you're on.

32:38I need the toilet.

32:39I'm fine.

32:40This is the song I know best.

32:41It's the one she's always belting out around the house.

32:42You're sure about this?

32:43We're not doing Waterloo?

32:44No.

32:45No, we're not.

32:46And there's no moves because we never invented any.

32:47So, just go for it.

32:48Just give it loads of welly on the course.

32:49I can't believe I'm doing this in front of Trisha.

32:50And Graham.

32:51Fern's parents.

32:52What about me?

32:53I've got to do it in front of Chloe and fucking Inez.

32:55They're out there now sat with Aunty Mary and Dyson laughing the looking heads.

32:58For God's sake.

32:59I can't believe I'm doing this in front of Trisha.

33:02And Graham.

33:03Fern's parents.

33:04What about me?

33:05I've got to do it in front of Chloe and fucking Inez.

33:08They're out there now sat with Aunty Mary and Dyson laughing the looking heads.

33:11For God's sake mother.

33:12Stop slagging Inez off.

33:14Move on.

33:15For your own sake if not everybody else's.

33:17What happened again with fucking Inez?

33:19It was me dad being a creepy old tosser.

33:21Coming onto anything that moves.

33:23Including Inez.

33:24And her refusing to say what a philandering piggy was.

33:28So she'd rather blame Inez for telling her the truth about me dad.

33:31Or say her about Inez setting up her own place when it wasn't.

33:34She thought the world of you.

33:36Well, I can't say how many are the wiser to be honest.

33:38But, er.

33:39You're on in less than 30 seconds ladies.

33:42Come on.

33:43Let's boogie woogie.

33:44Oh, come, come.

33:45Quick.

33:46Quick.

33:47Come on.

33:48You can't do this.

33:49Come on.

33:50Come on.

33:51Come on.

33:52Come on.

33:53Come on.

33:54Come on.

33:55Come on.

33:56Come on.

33:57Absolutely wonderful.

33:58Wasn't that splendid?

33:59So original.

34:00So clever.

34:01I'm a fan.

34:02I'm a big, big fan.

34:04Oh, right.

34:05Okay.

34:06The next act is the final act of the evening, ladies and gentlemen.

34:11I know.

34:12I know.

34:13Can you believe it?

34:14I never thought we'd get here.

34:16I have to admit, I'm extremely excited about this.

34:19And they were one of the first acts to sign up.

34:23Ladies and gentlemen, it's the riot women.

34:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

34:48Thanks, thank you.

34:53Fuck off.

34:54We were going to do a cover of an ABBA song, but we've changed our minds.

35:00We're going to do a song that me and Beth wrote last week.

35:03So it might not be up to much.

35:05We might have to make it up as we go along.

35:07Join in if you want.

35:09Oh, it's about the menopause.

35:13Woo dough!

35:15Woo!

35:19fines

35:23Oh yeah!

35:25Woo!

35:26I'm so depressed, I can't get dressed

35:48Having trouble hiding my lack of interest

35:51Bloodstains, pouring like rain

35:54Borderline anemic from bleeding all day

35:56My time's waning, feels like I'm fading

35:59Doctor told me to stop complaining

36:02If it happened to blokes, got all the news

36:05We'd be getting HRT'd from Tesco

36:08Am I invisible?

36:10Am I untouchable?

36:13Am I unlovable?

36:16Are you uncomfortable?

36:18And I'm seeing red, red, red, red, red, red

36:22Red, red, red, red, red, red

36:25Red, red, red, red, red, red, red

36:28I'm seeing red, red, red, red, red, red

36:33Red, red, red, red, red, red

36:36Red, red, red, red, red, red

36:39I'm angry, I'm nice

36:43I'm fuming, I'm fine

36:45Rootings leave me faint and light

36:46Jekyll and Hyde

36:48I cut off, it's about to get rough

36:50I'm on a rollercoaster and I wanna get off

36:53I've got a UTI

36:54I've got no drive

36:56Big surprise, my libido took a nosedive

36:59Night sweats, too tired for sex

37:02Lie awake thinking about killing my eyes

37:04Am I invisible?

37:06Am I untouchable?

37:09Am I unlovable?

37:12Are you uncomfortable?

37:14I'm singing red, red, red, red, red, red

37:39Give me HRT

38:04Give me HRT

38:07Give me HRT

38:12Give me HRT

38:16Give me HRT

38:21Give me HRT

38:37Give me HRT

38:42Give me HRT

38:45I'm a secret

38:48I'm a secret

38:51I'm a secret

38:54I'm a secret

39:04Thanks

39:06Thank you

39:24I'm a secret

39:25I'm a secret

39:27I'm a secret

39:28I'm a secret

39:29I'm a secret

39:47I'm so sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

39:50No, Mum, it's not that. It's not that. It's Cam's family. They've all walked out.

39:54What? What?

39:55No, Cam's family have all walked out.

39:58What? Oh, my God.

39:59What? What? What is it?

40:02Um, Nisha's been involved in some sort of accident.

40:04We've gone to the hospital. It's always lovely.

40:07Of course I go.

40:08What sort of accident?

40:08Is she conscious?

40:09Oh, my God.

40:10Right, I'm coming with you.

40:11We'll all come with you.

40:12No, don't. There's no point. Honestly, it's better if you stay here.

40:15But ring your mum, love. Find out which hospital they've taken her to.

40:18Come on, I'll drive you.

40:20But I'll, um, I'll phone you when we know anything.

40:22Oh, my God.

40:24Do we have a result?

40:25Oh, yes, we do.

40:31I can now reveal that in third place, oh, my goodness, it's the Riot Women!

40:39Is that all? Third place?

40:41Yeah.

40:42Yay!

40:42What long, girls?

40:46I'm 59.

40:47Sorry, ladies.

40:48Who are you calling ladies?

40:49Sorry.

40:50Did we go back on? Is there a prize?

40:52And in second place...

40:53No.

40:55Mr Topless and his magical musical kittens!

40:59Where are they?

41:00What?

41:01Those kittens.

41:04And in first place...

41:05Here we go.

41:06I mean, it was always going to be them, wasn't it?

41:08Ladies and gentlemen, it is the Living Legends Dance Troupe!

41:12Oh, bad luck, kids.

41:14Another day, another dollar.

41:15Off we pop.

41:16It has been an amazing event.

41:17The very best.

41:18And thank you to all of you.

41:20So all that remains for me to say is, I hope that you get home very, very safely and have

41:25a wonderful rest of your weekend.

41:27Good night!

41:28Thank you for making us all do it.

41:44No, no, no.

41:45Oh, it's Tom and Fern and everyone.

41:47They're all going to meet us down the Duke after we've packed up.

41:49Oh, Alicia.

41:50Is that all?

41:51Oh, please.

41:51Yeah, yeah.

41:52She's all right.

41:53Hello.

41:53Sorry.

41:54My name's Jenny Lennox.

41:56My son's in year three Lenny.

41:57Do you know him?

41:58No.

41:59I'm a promoter.

42:00I find bands for local venues.

42:01I didn't think I'd have my work head on tonight, but I've got to say, that was amazing.

42:05Can I talk to you?

42:06Goodness, so excellent, weren't they?

42:09Oh, my gosh.

42:11What are we doing now?

42:13Are we meeting them?

42:14Are we meeting Kitty?

42:16I was just saying, your mother, your other mother, she really can sing.

42:21So we get a shift on?

42:23Yes.

42:24I'm going to have to go, lads.

42:37I'm going to have to go, Nancy.

42:39One of my officers has been assaulted.

42:40She's in hospital.

42:41Your mum's heading down there as well.

42:43It's one of her colleagues.

42:45You'll have to see to Granny.

42:47It's just me and two handsome men.

42:49All right, come on, let's go.

42:51You know, I was quite a looker, you know,

42:53when I was young, they all fancied me.

42:57Who was that?

42:59Dad.

43:00Dad.

43:20What are you fucking dressed as?

43:22Chrissy fucking Hind.

43:23Obviously.

43:25What's happened?

43:26Well, they've told me to hang around

43:28in case doctors need any more intel, so...

43:30Yeah, but what happened?

43:32She was beaten up.

43:34Beaten up how?

43:35I don't know.

43:36What does she look like?

43:39Blood.

43:41Did she get her body cam?

43:42I was smashed on the street, so...

43:45Shit.

43:46Evening, sir.

43:47Rudenko.

43:48What do we know?

43:50Well, she was stripped.

43:53Stripped?

43:54And beaten.

43:55And handcuffed to a fire escape down Shakespeare Street, sir.

43:58Massive blow took back her head.

43:59She was basically unconscious when I got there.

44:02She couldn't speak.

44:04Her body cam had been ripped off and smashed,

44:06but hopefully they'll still be able to get something from her.

44:08And then the trauma team were here when soon as we arrived,

44:11so she must have lost a lot of blood.

44:14They've taken her into resource now,

44:16and they're saying they might have to transfer her to Jimmy's, so...

44:19Good God.

44:21Yeah.

44:22I think there might be some neurological damage, so...

44:26Yeah.

44:29Bastards.

44:31Honestly, sir.

44:33The way I found her, it would disgusting.

44:37Is that the family?

44:38Yeah.

44:39Well done, lad.

44:42Sir.

45:12Oh, my God. I'm going to have to get behind the bar. It's swamped.

45:21Right, yeah, you can go talk to that woman.

45:23Oh, yeah, sure.

45:24Yeah, can you go and talk to Tom Love?

45:25No, you can go and talk to Tom Love.

45:27Oh!

45:29You were amazing.

45:31Oh, hello, Graham.

45:32Really, really, very, very...

45:34This is Graham, who's Fern's dad.

45:35And you wrote that song?

45:36Yeah, we did. We've written quite a few together now.

45:39This is Trisha, who is Fern's mum.

45:40Hello.

45:41Hello.

45:41Hi. My ex-husband, Martin.

45:43How do you do?

45:44Nice. Nice to meet you.

45:45Can I get you a drink?

45:46Hey, Tom.

45:47Hi, Fern. No, thanks.

45:48You know, you were in my news, Summer.

45:50Kitty, you were brilliant.

45:53Oh.

45:56Thank you, love.

46:00I'm sorry that we didn't go off to a better start.

46:03Who is it Kitty reminds me of?

46:17Tom, I see you.

46:20You're actually very good.

46:23Tom, I see you.

46:24You're actually very good.

46:27Don't sound so surprised.

46:30You look really well.

46:32You'll have to come over for Sunday lunch sometime and meet Kitty properly without this lot.

46:36I will.

46:37Oh.

46:38I need to talk to this woman.

46:41Will you excuse me?

46:42Sure.

46:42The excitement in the room.

46:44It was...

46:45Oh.

46:45I just...

46:46I loved it.

46:47I loved it.

46:48Mum, do you want another drink?

46:50You know what?

46:50I'd really like to fuck you.

46:52Did I need a song in a band like this before?

46:58No, no.

46:59Just, um...

47:00Just a bit of karaoke now and again, yeah.

47:03But, um, no.

47:04Not before.

47:05Kitty, can I get you something?

47:06Oh, no.

47:06No.

47:07No, thanks, love.

47:08I've got to go and talk to that woman.

47:09And did you grow up around here, Kitty?

47:12Um, yeah.

47:14Not in Hebden.

47:15I grew up more like over that way, like Bradford.

47:19Fascinating.

47:21Oh.

47:21And I met your boyfriend.

47:23I've got a boyfriend.

47:24We're sitting next to him.

47:25Blonde hair.

47:26Friendly.

47:27Oh, no.

47:28Oh, God, no.

47:28He's just some dickhead.

47:29He flies me around.

47:30Oh, he told me he was your boyfriend.

47:32I see.

47:33And you've only been rehearsing for six...

47:35There's a lot I can help you with, if you're interested.

47:36You presumably got yourselves out there on social media.

47:38No, Judy.

47:39We haven't done anything.

47:40We only got together for this talent contest.

47:42And then we discovered that we really can write our own stuff.

47:47Can you all stop pushing, please?

47:49You're not going to get served any faster.

47:50Do you want me to help you?

47:54Here.

47:58Thanks.

47:59You want me to help, Jessie?

48:04Come on.

48:04Mike, when are you ready, Jess?

48:07I'll bring with you in one minute.

48:08Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

48:08Oh, thank you.

48:10You know, you were amazing tonight.

48:13You have to come and perform in my back.

48:15The dikes are going to love you.

48:16Yeah, yeah, well, we'll see about that.

48:18Can I grab some crisps as well?

48:20Yeah, and if you shove a brush up my arse, I'll sweep the floor as I go along.

48:23And what do your family do?

48:25I haven't got any family.

48:26None at all?

48:27Uh, well, yeah, this is my dad, but, um, anyway, look, sorry, I've got to go and touch this lady.

48:35Oh, gosh, it was so lovely to meet you.

48:37I do hope we see you again.

48:40Oh, dear.

48:40Could I just say, I know it's not in my business, but I think it's important Tom's talked to us about everything, and I know it's something you must find difficult, but I think it's important for someone like Tom, psychologically, you know, to know who his father is.

49:02Is that something you might want to get together and talk about?

49:06I'd like to help.

49:07Yeah, well, you're not helping.

49:08I'm whispering obscene shit in my ear isn't helping anyone either.

49:12You're a poor-knit wanker.

49:15Oh.

49:16Okay.

49:18Well, I wouldn't fuck you anyway, darling.

49:22Not for any amount of money.

49:24You die in a ditch, one of the EU.

49:26I call the rest of the dirty, nasty fun.

49:38I have absolutely no idea what that was about.

50:06What happened?

50:15Well...

50:16What...

50:20What...

50:24What was said?

50:25I just...

50:26I was complimenting her on her performance and...

50:30Oh, I may have...

50:32What?

50:34Hinted that she really ought to talk to you about your...

50:36Who your biological father is.

50:40I'm sorry, I am sorry, but I do think at some point, for your sake, it's something she's going to have to talk about.

50:46But, yeah, maybe now wasn't the time to say it.

50:50Right, do you need...

50:51Do you think you need an ambulance?

50:53God, no.

50:54I am so sorry, Graeme.

50:55Don't be silly.

50:56You don't need to be sorry.

50:57Did you bang your head?

50:58Oh, my God.

51:02It's going to fall out.

51:03I've got a meeting on Monday with some really important people, and that is going to fall out.

51:09Are you all right, Mum?

51:10Mummy?

51:11Yeah.

51:11I just...

51:11I don't like violence.

51:13Excuse me, Mum.

51:14Sorry.

51:15Sorry.

51:15Excuse me.

51:17There is she.

51:19You're answering her, Bob.

51:20How's she going to get home?

51:26I mean, there aren't any more buses.

51:28Not at this time, not back up to where we are.

51:30Maybe she's already got a taxi back up there.

51:32I've no way of knowing that.

51:34Not if she won't answer it.

51:35Are you all right?

51:38I'll worry about her.

51:40Why?

51:40She's not a child.

51:41Because she's vulnerable.

51:43When I first met her, she was homeless.

51:44Just six weeks ago, she was homeless.

51:46Do you want us to come back to the house and wait with you?

51:49Well, yes, but then if I got a lift with you, I can leave my car keys with Jess,

51:54and I can text Kitty to say she has them, and then she can just drive herself back.

51:56Hang on.

51:57Kitty drives your car?

51:59Yeah, well, she often does her late shift.

52:00I don't believe this.

52:01Does she pay you any rent?

52:02Yeah, she does pay me rent.

52:04Not much, but she doesn't have much, so...

52:05Oh, God!

52:07I can't leave the car here.

52:08It's got all the equipment in the back.

52:10Well, maybe we could put it into yours.

52:12Yeah, and you do realise that she could just drive off with it?

52:15Where to?

52:16Anywhere.

52:17Why would she do that?

52:18What?

52:27He's been listening to a podcast.

52:29Sorry?

52:30There's a real-life crime series called Gangs of the North, and...

52:35One of them...

52:36One of them is about them.

52:38The Eckersleys.

52:40Keith Eckersley.

52:40And his sons, her brothers.

52:42And the...

52:43Well, most of them are in prison.

52:45Or dead.

52:46But when they ran Bradford, they weren't very nice people.

52:50How?

52:51Drugs.

52:52Money laundry.

52:53Violence.

52:53Torture.

52:54Shall I go on?

52:55Kitty's not like that.

52:56Well, she has just hit Graham!

52:58You obviously don't know what she's like.

53:00You see her through rose-tinted glasses for some reason.

53:02I wish you could be a bit kinder about her.

53:04Kinder?

53:05We came to see your show.

53:07We came to see your show, and she hit Graham.

53:09Who's she going to hit next?

53:10You!

53:11I'm going to try her one last time.

53:25Sorry, the person you're calling is unavailable.

53:29Right, I...

53:30I'm going to go home.

53:33She can always knock on Jessie's door.

53:35And, well, she doesn't expect me to stay here, can she?

53:39She's not going to answer my calls.

53:45So...

53:46Shall we go with you?

53:49It's up to you.

54:06Oh, no.

54:07Ah!

54:09Oh, no, no, no, no, Inez, no, no, no, no more.

54:22Eh, we're celebrating, come on.

54:24You know, you're loving a groney, mother, especially one of Inez's.

54:28Fucking hell.

54:29Oh, my God.

54:32Ah, look at us.

54:34Eh, you and me?

54:36See, this is the healing power of your beautiful music, Jessie.

54:46Where's Miranda?

54:47She's got a red down the bog.

54:49Why are you keeping an eye on her?

54:50Yeah, well, I mean, she doesn't usually drink like a pill, does she?

54:54Oh, my God.

54:55I feel all emotional.

54:56Why do I feel so emotional?

55:00Oh, my God.

55:02It was so good on that stage.

55:05Oh, and then shit.

55:07Nisha.

55:09Fucking hell, Kitty.

55:11Do you think, do you think he said something new to her?

55:14That Graham?

55:15It...

55:15I mean, do you think that's what...

55:17Maybe?

55:20Is that what...

55:27My Steve did to you?

55:31Said lewd things.

55:38I don't know why I never listened to you.

55:42Oh, it's always had this silly, bloody effect on me.

55:46It still does.

55:48If you walk through that door right now, I...

55:50I still fall for it.

55:52I am...

55:53I feel emotional, too.

55:55You know why?

55:57Because I'm back here, Jessie.

56:00In your place, with its big, beating heart, and...

56:05I love you.

56:08I never stopped loving you.

56:11Even when you hated me.

56:14Well, I mean, it was just when you went broadcasting to fucking Sondra.

56:19Only because you didn't listen to me.

56:22I...

56:22I was humiliated.

56:26I couldn't face me own customers.

56:28Do you know what it's like?

56:30You know, and then everything went tics up.

56:36Now, you have to forgive me.

56:39Oh, for Chloe's sake, for the baby's sake, for our life's sakes.

56:49Yeah, the babies aren't half missing you, you know, Mum.

56:51Oh, well, and I'm missing them at all.

56:53Well, you know, we don't have a massive load of room in that flat.

57:00So we were thinking, what Inez, Inez was thinking,

57:05that she could let a flat out and, like, raise some money, you know,

57:09so we could get somewhere bigger, a house for all of us.

57:12But obviously they'd need, well, we'd need, we'd need somewhere in between.

57:18So, you know, so they don't feel like they're being shoved around all over the place.

57:24Oh, are I here?

57:25And all the stars were just like little fish

57:37You should learn when to go

57:42You should learn how to say no

57:49Mine is forever

58:00Mine is forever

58:01Mine is forever

58:05Mine is forever

58:10When they forget what they want

58:13But we'll never want it again

58:16Go on, take everything

58:19Take everything

58:21I want you to

58:23Go on, take everything

58:25Take everything

58:26I want you to

58:28Go on, take everything

58:31Take everything

58:32I want you to

58:34Go on, take everything

58:36Take everything

58:38Take everything!

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