- 3 days ago
Dave and Chuck the Freak were talking about a new reality show that features a group of virgins seeking love. Then, Cort reveals that he almost made it on a season of 'The Real World' but they told him he was "too unattractive".
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00:00This new board game is hard.
00:01What is the game?
00:02You have to match the 5-hour energy holiday flavor with their holiday.
00:07You're an idiot.
00:08Pumpkin spice, Halloween.
00:09Cranberry lime, Thanksgiving.
00:12Gingerbread sap, Christmas.
00:13Are you a wizard?
00:22Let's be honest, sex is a big part of the appeal of dating shows,
00:25so I'd be kind of a risk to produce one
00:27where none of the contestants even know how to do it.
00:31Hulu, not Hulu.
00:33I signed up for Hulu.
00:35It's very cheap.
00:36It's very, very cheap.
00:37It is.
00:37It's not legit.
00:38They wanted all of my info.
00:39It's not legit.
00:40Don't sign up for Hulu.
00:41Hulu is giving it a try with Are You My First?
00:46It's a show about virgins that are looking for love.
00:52I mean, that's a virgin?
00:54No, no, no.
00:54There's the hosts.
00:55Okay, they're the hosts.
00:56Virgins are the hosts, yeah.
00:59I'm like, there is no chance that's a virgin.
01:01According to the description.
01:03On both sides.
01:04It says it's the hottest group of virgins ever assembled.
01:08Oh, my God.
01:09Tired Tuesday.
01:10That's fine.
01:10They will search for intimacy, love,
01:13and maybe their first sexual partner
01:16in a tropical paradise designed just for them.
01:19To me, the only way that a show like this can truly be capped off
01:27is if you literally recorded the first time they did it.
01:32Well, there are some shows like that, right?
01:36You record it.
01:37You record the whole thing and the awkwardness of it all
01:43and the fact that it's over and it's going to be over in seconds for this guy.
01:47And then you put it out.
01:51You put it out.
01:53I feel like we just watched that from like a British reality show.
01:55Yeah, we did.
01:56Yeah.
01:57Where, remember?
01:58They've got it figured out over there.
01:59They decided to bang him and they had like, the cameras were rolling.
02:05Right.
02:05He was in, like they were all in the other room, right?
02:08Yeah.
02:09Hulu's not going to do that.
02:10No, they're not.
02:11So much pressure.
02:13Like I'm sort of seasoned,
02:16but I don't think I could do it under that pressure.
02:18So you think you'd have a hard time doing like TV sex?
02:22Yeah.
02:22Like having televised sex with someone?
02:24What if it was just a couple of cameras in the room but no one else?
02:27No.
02:28Because I feel like that's how you'd have to do it.
02:30You'd sound like I have a camera guy.
02:31I'd have to know.
02:33I'd have to have signed something.
02:35But even once you sign something that says, hey, just so you know,
02:39any of your intimate details could be shared.
02:41Like you have to know that, okay,
02:43even though we're in this room and all the lights are out,
02:46there are some cameras watching us.
02:48I'm not an exhibitionist.
02:50I'm way more voyeur than exhibitionist.
02:54Okay.
02:54I don't want to be watched and people knowing and stuff.
02:57Right.
02:58You'd rather just watch like a cock.
02:59Oh, I bet.
03:01It fits.
03:01He does.
03:02He does.
03:03He did kind of.
03:04He did kind of, didn't he?
03:06No.
03:06He did.
03:07I'd rather just watch.
03:08I don't want to watch my partner with another person.
03:11A voyeur's different.
03:13Yes.
03:13Like I would look through the glass and be like,
03:14oh, two random people going at it.
03:16Yeah.
03:17But I don't want a random person watching me.
03:19Right.
03:19And not my wife.
03:21I don't need this on a televised, I don't, come on.
03:27That's terrible stuff.
03:27But you're almost born again.
03:29Oh, that's it.
03:30I mean, I could go on this show.
03:31They'd be like, he doesn't know what he's doing.
03:33Like, he's forgotten everything.
03:36He doesn't even know how to kiss someone.
03:39It's basically just like The Bachelor, but with virgins.
03:43Yeah.
03:43I'd love to see their crop, though.
03:45Yeah, I know.
03:45I was looking to see if they had.
03:48They won't show you yet.
03:49They won't.
03:49Yeah.
03:49They're not ready to reveal them yet.
03:51They're all going to look like models, right?
03:55Yes.
03:56Oh, yeah.
03:56Like, I would say.
03:57One way to get people to watch.
03:59Okay, but here's the thing.
04:00Do you think you have to go through some kind of medical test?
04:04Or do they just take people's word?
04:07Oh, you got to prove you're a virgin?
04:08Oh, I don't know.
04:08Like, what do you think?
04:09Well, how would you?
04:10Well, you don't.
04:10Guys can't prove it, but the women could probably.
04:14Well, they can't even there.
04:15These reality shows really vet.
04:17But they'll contact your friends, your exes.
04:21They will ensure you're a virgin.
04:23Wow.
04:24Well, they don't want to take a risk.
04:26Court believes we should trust every reality show.
04:28He's always said that.
04:29I was almost on Real World, but then in the final round, I was determined to be too unattractive.
04:34No, Court, no!
04:37Court, stop!
04:39You were too ugly for reality TV?
04:42That's tough.
04:43No.
04:44That's what some say.
04:46I disagree.
04:47That is horrible.
04:49Slap those people.
04:50I know.
04:51Paid for my flight out and everything, and then, no, you're too unattractive.
04:55Oh, my goodness.
04:56They did not say that to your face.
04:58Yes.
04:59Oh, wow, those bastards.
05:01Listen there.
05:02It's a cutthroat world.
05:05Real world.
05:06Yeah.
05:06With court.
05:08With ugly court.
05:11He's the ugly one.
05:15I don't think you're ugly.
05:15He's funny.
05:16Not at all.
05:17I would never have described you in that manner.
05:19No, court.
05:21It's too bad.
05:22It's done.
05:23My interview process was great.
05:26I'm sure it ends up staying.
05:27I'm sure when someone says you're too ugly for our show, that's devastating.
05:33I was told that.
05:33Unattractive.
05:34Unattractive.
05:34Unattractive.
05:34Unattractive.
05:34Unattractive.
05:34Unattractive.
05:35Oh, sorry.
05:36I thought you said ugly.
05:37You should have made it.
05:37I would have loved it.
05:38Oh, you said ugly.
05:40Okay.
05:40Someone said ugly.
05:41Dave took it right to ugly.
05:43Yeah, he did.
05:43I would have loved to watch court on real world.
05:45Oh, my God.
05:46I know.
05:47That would have been great.
05:49What have you gotten up to?
05:50His whole life would be different.
05:52He wouldn't be here, that's for sure.
05:53He wouldn't be here, court.
05:55Sorry, court.
05:55That's too bad, huh?
05:56Yeah, it would have been a much better life.
05:58Yeah.
05:59Don't dwell on that too much.
06:00But don't.
06:01No.
06:01Come on.
06:02You're in a nice little room taking calls for this show.
06:05Yeah.
06:07Too ugly for the big studio?
06:08Yeah.
06:09He's got him in his own little room.
06:12Wow, it's taking a turn.
06:13Court.
06:14He's silent, too.
06:15I know.
06:15I'm laughing.
06:16I'm laughing.
06:16Okay.
06:17Okay.
06:17Thank God.
06:18Okay, all right.
06:19All right.
06:19I feel like we all need to go hug him after this.
06:22Yeah.
06:22He says that when he cries.
06:23I'm really sorry that you're here with this show.
06:24I would hug him, but he's a little too unattractive.
06:28Take a nice little pound, fist pound.
06:31Yeah.
06:31Nice.
06:32Don't say nice little pound, either.
06:33Oh, no.
06:34Yeah.
06:34All right.
06:35It's like the Phantom of the Opera over there.
06:38No.
06:39Oh.
06:39Don't look at me.
06:40Yeah, I also auditioned for Nosferatu.
06:42I got the call.
06:43Oh, wow.
06:44Oh, God.
06:44See, there's an upside.
06:45Oh, that's good.
06:46Use it to your advantage.
06:47Yeah.
06:48We're looking for an unattractive vampire.
06:52I know the guy.
06:55No, we never would have called you unattractive.
06:57No one's ever said that to us.
06:59No.
06:59Ugly was the word that Dave used.
07:01No, yeah, yeah.
07:01Yeah.
07:02But that was just because of Jason.
07:04He was a bad influence there.
07:05So, there you go.
07:08Yes.
07:09If your day's bad, you could be court.
07:13And then now it's better, right?
07:15Yes.
07:18I'm laughing.
07:18I'm laughing.
07:19Oh, no.
07:20It's bad when he has to say he's laughing because you think he's really that sad.
07:24No, he's crying.
07:25That's what he says when he cries.
07:26It also means I do cry when I, I do laugh when I cry, but I'm laughing.
07:33Yeah.
07:34Oh, wow.
07:35I'm just seeing who were the ugliest people ever on Real World.
07:38It would have been the Seattle season.
07:41The Seattle season.
07:42I don't know if I watched it.
07:43I mean, I haven't watched that show in a long time.
07:46So, growing up in Canada, we never, I never saw the real world at all.
07:50That's crazy to me.
07:51We didn't have it on.
07:53It wasn't on our, like, much music.
07:57We eventually had a Canadian version, and I was obsessed with this Canadian show that
08:05was like, I was like, why haven't they done this?
08:07And then I found out, oh, they've been doing it on MTV for like 20 years.
08:11Yeah.
08:11And I had no idea.
08:12What?
08:13You, come on, Court.
08:15You're more attractive than a couple of the dudes on here.
08:18The other Seattle season, not the one at 89.
08:21Oh, no.
08:22I was going to say, that seems like that's.
08:24It was like 2016.
08:26I was going to say, Court's a little too young to be on.
08:29How old was he when they did this?
08:31He was eight.
08:32I can't find the picture.
08:33No, we can't.
08:33It's that one on the far left.
08:35This one?
08:36Yeah.
08:39Yeah, you're not hooking up with any of them.
08:41Oh, beautiful beautiful.
08:41You're not hooking up, man.
08:43No, that's unfortunate.
08:43Now we get it.
08:44Ooh.
08:45Oh, wow.
08:46Just too, not too ugly, but too unattractive.
08:48Yeah.
08:49You would have had that.
08:50Yeah.
08:50See, I think the real world used to be more real.
08:53It was.
08:54It was.
08:55Yeah.
08:55And they would find like characters, but like every dude.
08:57There's like that Puck guy.
08:58Remember Puck?
08:59Oh, yeah.
08:59There's like three Asians in the season two.
09:01I would have cleaned up.
09:02Oh, my God.
09:03Oh, man.
09:03Everything would be different.
09:05Everything would have been different.
09:06Yeah, but you.
09:07Oh, you would have been.
09:08I could see who you would have loved.
09:10Yep.
09:10You're in big trouble in the back row.
09:15Ah, well, that's too bad.
09:16Oh, man.
09:17That's nuts.
09:19I was like when I could have been on Degrassi.
09:21Uh, and then, uh, now it's going to be what could have happened.
09:29Could have been, could have been a big star.
09:31Could have.
09:32Yep.
09:32Instead, we're all here.
09:33Yeah, this is what we're doing.
09:34Dainty Jason, unattractive court.
09:37We're all here together.
09:37Why am I catching strays?
09:38What the hell, man?
09:40I didn't do anything.
09:42No.
09:43No.
09:44We're all here together.
09:45All right.
09:46On that note, we'll all go take a break to hug court.
09:48And when we come back in a moment.
09:50I'm coming soon, court.
09:52That's what she said.
09:53We've got a check of the news to get to.
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