Baylen Out Loud Season 2 Episode 1

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Transcript

00:01Take it to the top of the wiener, tap the rotisserie chicken.

00:04And scene.

00:05off.

00:07My name is Balin.

00:08I'm 21 years old, and I have Tourette's syndrome.

00:11And a little baby wiener.

00:15Hey, mother .

00:17Tourette's syndrome causes me to have involuntary motor and vocal tics.

00:21This isn't good for you, because then you're, oh, .

00:24I'm on you!

00:25Yep, that's not good.

00:26I put both hands on the panel bars.

00:28I'd describe our family as large, chaotic.

00:32I have four crazy and loud brothers.

00:35You can stop, kid, but stop.

00:37And one younger sister, Sammy.

00:39Search one!

00:41Suck a wiener.

00:43That will not do.

00:46I have the world's best boyfriend, Colin.

00:50He's my medicine.

00:52So there's something I have to tell you guys.

00:55Hmm.

00:56Me and Colin are gonna move in with each other.

00:58This isn't like moving in with a girlfriend who has no issues.

01:02Dad!

01:04I need Colin to understand that this is a challenge.

01:07My foot's stuck.

01:10Nothing better happen to my kid.

01:12Nothing.

01:13I would like to have both of your blessings to have your daughter's hand in marriage.

01:18I knew it was coming.

01:19I just knew it.

01:20I don't really have an answer.

01:22As a guy, that's not what you're going into that conversation thinking that's how it's

01:26gonna go.

01:27I just want to marry Balen.

01:34Balen, Alexandra, Dupree.

01:36Will you marry me?

01:40Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

01:44We're getting married.

01:45Life is just perfect.

01:47Someone asked me one time, how many times do I tick today?

01:58Ugh!

01:59The bomb!

02:01But anyways, ticks come and go.

02:03I don't know.

02:04Believe it or not, I have a gun.

02:06We're all gonna die.

02:07Pluck it.

02:08Slap it.

02:09Wrap it.

02:10La, la, la, la, suck a wiener, bitch.

02:14Still loving the ring.

02:15We're still engaged.

02:17This is my ring.

02:18Hmm!

02:19That's a big bitch.

02:20God damn!

02:21Mans did good.

02:24How many people have been asking you, do you have a date?

02:27That was the first thing that we got asked right after we got engaged.

02:30However, we haven't started a single thing.

02:32No wedding planning done.

02:34Yeah.

02:35Nothing.

02:36We're just living with the fact that we're just fiancé, you know?

02:43Living together is fun.

02:44At least in my eyes, I don't know what it's like living with me, so.

02:49Every day is a new day.

02:52You never know what you're gonna hear or see.

02:57I'll take a grilled cheese up the ass.

02:59Sorry.

03:00I'm sorry.

03:01I love grilled cheese.

03:03It came out of left field.

03:05A lot of them come out of left field.

03:11All I do around this house is find socks.

03:15Not one.

03:20Have you ever lived with a man if the temperature isn't at 64 degrees in the house?

03:24You like said a ripe 65 Alaskan type of chill.

03:27We're just gonna boost it.

03:29If you just keep going until you hit the 80s, that's about where I like it.

03:33No!

03:34So about five years ago, I was diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome, which is a neurological involuntary

03:46motor and vocal disorder.

03:48I have a nine inch penis.

03:51Suck a weenie.

03:52Any weenie.

03:55I decided to share my story with Tourette's on social media because I was done hiding from myself.

04:02Goddamn!

04:04So to be able to help others not feel overwhelmed, a little bit confused, a little bit hopeless, is so important.

04:13Tourette's Syndrome is never isolated by itself.

04:20It's often accompanied by other conditions or comorbidities.

04:24Like OCD, ADHD, depression, anxiety.

04:30And I have a lot of those.

04:37It's really good.

04:38I don't need no tweaking.

04:43This is really good.

04:44What?

04:46Why'd you?

04:47Goddamn!

04:48It's not bad.

04:49It's just...

04:50Oh!

04:51Goddamn!

04:53Goddamn!

04:56I have no idea where my kicking tick came from.

04:58The punch has been a common thing.

05:00She punches me in the balls.

05:03Sorry, I had to do that.

05:13I had the urge in my wrist to punch Colin in the ball sack.

05:17And it feels electrifying.

05:19It's like itching, burning, um, hurting.

05:24Weenie.

05:26And when I let it out, the urge goes away, actually.

05:30Are you excited that it's Easter and that we're going to an alpaca farm today?

05:33You're not as excited as me.

05:34Excuse me.

05:35Yeah, I will never be as excited as you about alpacas.

05:39I'm so excited.

05:40I'm literally going to cry.

05:41I'm going to cry.

05:42And we get to walk with them.

05:44I hope you know that they're, like, more mean than horses.

05:48Not those ones at the farm.

05:49They spit on you.

05:50That's what llamas and alpacas do.

05:53I don't want that.

05:54My fondness for alpacas started when I was, like, 12 years old.

05:59This is where my OCD is a problem, because why am I obsessed with everything?

06:04They're just big, fluffy, lovable.

06:08I can't get enough.

06:12Yeah, and they eat sideways, yeah.

06:17Sorry.

06:18I know that.

06:20I suggested an alpaca farm for an Easter gathering with my family because, one, it's on my bucket list.

06:28And, two, it's been a really long time since we've all been together.

06:34However, there's some things I want to clear up with my dad.

06:37Now that time has passed since we've gotten engaged.

06:40And considering that I don't really like confrontation, I'm a little nervous to approach my dad.

06:46I just don't know how well it will go.

06:49I just don't know how well it will go.

06:53Don't stop looking up, cause the sky's not coming down in the mud.

07:02And I see the sunburst shine, so we can't stop now.

07:09This is amazing!

07:12Balen's gonna lose her mind.

07:14Look at that one.

07:15Staring right now.

07:16Look at him staring at you.

07:17Yeah.

07:18She's like so obsessed.

07:19It's so crazy.

07:21No!

07:24There's so many.

07:26Oh my god, they have him in the front yard.

07:27Oh my god!

07:28We could at least fit six of them in the apartment.

07:31Episode 20!

07:33Oh my god!

07:34Oh my god!

07:35We haven't seen my parents a ton because it's almost two hours difference to see them.

07:42This is what our front yard's gonna look like.

07:43Give me two years.

07:45You look so good!

07:47Happy Easter!

07:48Happy Easter!

07:50Happy Easter!

07:51What's up, babe?

07:52It's been a couple of months since we've all been together as one group.

07:57Super excited.

07:58I'm so excited!

07:59Oh my god!

08:00I'm so excited!

08:01I'm like excited for you!

08:02Happy Easter!

08:03It's not like Julie and Alan have softened up on me, but there is a difference.

08:08It's almost like they're more accepting in a way.

08:13But I think Julie and Alan are always gonna be hard on me because they're very protective parents.

08:20Like that's just who they are.

08:21Hi!

08:22Hi.

08:23We haven't been ambushing Balen with calls and stop and visits because it's good to give them some space and time to establish their new normal.

08:32And she can be more assertive at attaining her own independence without us.

08:38I know you're excited, aren't you?

08:40Not really, but...

08:42I think her figuring it out on her own a little more is better for her.

08:48But it's still my daughter.

08:50And in my mindset, we are still gonna be her parents forever.

08:56Where's Sammy?

08:58Where's Sammy?

08:59So everything was booked and she was ready to come here.

09:01And then stuff got out of sorts with too much anxiety.

09:04Then her OCD crap was all kicking in.

09:06I was, Sammy, just do another time where you can come for a longer stretch.

09:10Mm-hmm.

09:11So then, like, the ends didn't justify the means, so...

09:15It's not just Balen dealing with issues.

09:18To be completely honest, three out of the six kids, maybe four out of the six, have anxiety and OCD.

09:25It's just how it's elicited differently and how they cope differently.

09:29But to me, the mystery is that there is a way to hide your OCD.

09:35And Sammy does a really good job of hiding it.

09:38She does a really good job with keeping things private that she wants to keep private.

09:42How is the house been with all guys?

09:46Community .

09:48A lot of .

09:49A lot of cleaning.

09:50We've helped.

09:51I've helped a lot.

09:52Do you do dishes?

09:53No.

09:54Nothing's changed, Balen.

09:57You like my shirt.

09:58I love your shirt.

09:59I love how colorful it is.

10:00Banana up your ass.

10:01.

10:02When we get to, like, where's the wedding at?

10:05Just don't tell mom, but me and Colin are getting married in Alaska.

10:09It's gonna be a destination wedding.

10:11Did you guys pick out of a hat?

10:14Did you guys pick out of a hat?

10:16You suck for a living.

10:20So does Colin and Sammy.

10:22Colin suck George Washington's .

10:24Oh, Colin.

10:25Colin's busy.

10:27Yeah.

10:28Why is everything, like, .

10:31And poor Colin George Washington's .

10:37He's got time on his hands.

10:39I don't know.

10:40More than time, I guess, on his hands.

10:42Colin needs a second job.

10:44Yeah.

10:46Oh, hi.

10:47Welcome to Ever After Alpaca Farm.

10:49Hi.

10:50Hi.

10:51I'm Heidi.

10:52Hi.

10:53It's nice to meet you.

10:54Are you guys ready for an alpaca adventure today?

10:55Yes.

10:56Yes.

10:57Good, good.

10:58We're gonna go in the field and hand feed the boys and interact with them.

11:01Couple of field rules.

11:03Rule number one, not gonna chase alpaca.

11:05Number two, don't stand behind them because they can kick.

11:08Now, as adults, if they were to kick, it literally feels like you stubbed your toe.

11:13It hurts for five seconds.

11:15And most people who come here want to know, am I going to get spit on?

11:20Yes.

11:21Did you wonder that?

11:22We were all asking ourselves on the way over here.

11:23I was gonna say.

11:24Now, if you were to get spit on, it's definitely stinky, but it doesn't harm us in any way.

11:30We have wipes.

11:31We will clean you up.

11:32How are you feeling?

11:33I'm good.

11:34My tics are good.

11:35I'm just really excited.

11:36My tics get a little bit more when I'm excited.

11:39There are no worries here.

11:41My tics can be elevated from any type of emotion.

11:45And even though my tics are very active right now, I'm not distressed.

11:50It's just because of how excited I am to touch the fluffies.

11:55I love your body.

12:00Oh, my God.

12:01I love you.

12:02Hi, buddy.

12:03How you doing?

12:04That thing's giant.

12:05What are you doing?

12:06Hold on, bud.

12:07Here.

12:08Holy...

12:09Come here.

12:10I got the good stuff right there at the bottom.

12:13Jesus.

12:14Tell me.

12:15This thing's stuck on there, buddy.

12:16There, get out of there.

12:17They end up with a lot of farms.

12:20Oh, no!

12:21They spit on me.

12:23This guy just spit on me.

12:26Oh, hell no.

12:27No way.

12:29And that's why his lips hangin' down.

12:31Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.

12:34Come on, straight.

12:35Shake it.

12:38Look at your little trot.

12:40I got you, what?

12:41Yum, yum.

12:43You're a sweetie.

12:45You don't do kisses?

12:48Me and Colin are planning a wedding.

12:50Do you guys let the alpacas be at weddings?

12:53We've taken a couple of alpacas to the wedding.

12:55Oh, wow.

12:56We had pictures with the bride and groom.

12:57So that's the first thing we're thinking about,

12:59is if alpacas are coming.

13:01Have you done any other, like, venue?

13:04Because you haven't really asked me for any help, so...

13:07We honestly, there's very...

13:09You're bald.

13:10There's very minimal planning.

13:11We haven't started.

13:12Okay.

13:13But we need to start looking for venues.

13:14I thought maybe you were leaving me out.

13:15No.

13:16Good to know.

13:17Being that's our first child that's engaged to be married,

13:23I would love to be super involved.

13:26Al wants to be in the wedding.

13:28Al wants to be making the plans.

13:29I'm already in the wedding.

13:30I'm already guaranteed a dance.

13:31Al's already making videos.

13:33Al's getting baby pictures.

13:35Al's crying at night.

13:38I'm gonna...

13:39It's gonna...

13:40It's fine.

13:41It's alright.

13:42Oh, my goodness.

13:44Hey, can we talk?

13:46Huh?

13:47Can we talk?

13:48Yeah, honey.

13:49Okay.

13:50Where?

13:51Right now?

13:52Yeah.

13:53Like, over there.

13:54Just recently, Colin shared with me that when he went to go talk to my parents about getting

14:01a blessing, my dad said that he had no blessing to give.

14:05I would like to have both of your blessings to have your daughter's hand in marriage.

14:08I know what's coming.

14:09I just knew it.

14:10I don't really have an answer other than whatever Balaam wants to do, she's got our blessing.

14:20I am just confused.

14:23I don't think I actually do have his blessing.

14:28Colin knows that I plan on talking to my dad about it, but this isn't about Colin.

14:34This is about me and my dad because with wedding planning and everything coming around the

14:41corner, I need clarity.

14:44Um, so with our wedding coming up, you're bald.

14:49With wedding planning, and I wanted to ask you because I heard that when Colin went to

14:57you and mom to ask for y'all's blessing and you said that there was no blessing to give, and I just want to know what that meant.

15:16I expected Balaam to actually bring this up at some point.

15:21I mean, not today.

15:23It's important to have this conversation, but I'm nervous, yeah.

15:29When I leave the house, I have to flick the lights three times before me because if I only do it once, then something bad's going to happen on the way to the airport.

15:41Sammy's anxiety and OCD becomes disabling.

15:44She has done a very good job at hiding it.

15:48I can't really, like, enjoy anything.

15:50You're like a prisoner to your own thoughts.

15:55We have been talking about our marriage, and it started with some premarital counseling.

16:04I'm confused with why they're bringing up counseling.

16:08Colin looks pissed.

16:20I was confused with when you said that there was no blessing to give, and I just want to know what that meant.

16:29I didn't mean it to be like, oh, my God, well, I don't prove a cop.

16:35Like, I'll do whatever Balaam wants to do.

16:38That is my blessing.

16:39That is my, like, hey, if Balaam's okay, we are okay.

16:44What's really sunk in that now it's them.

16:47It's not her, it's them.

16:49Anyone who's in your life needs to protect you.

16:52I know where you were when you're manic, and from where you are right now to where you were,

16:58Great.

16:59Amazing.

17:00Amazing.

17:01When he stepped into your life, it's kind of like at a time where I think that's really helped you move forward.

17:10There's such a realism with this condition because my whole focus up until she met Colin was, how can we get Balaam better?

17:20Four to five years ago, Balaam was in the darkest place of her life.

17:23There's some things that people don't know, a lot of things, and something that I'm still grappling with.

17:30I just want to make sure that, like, suck a fat bitch, that there was no harsh feelings.

17:40Oh my God, no.

17:43We love you guys, okay?

17:44We're just truly grateful to even, like, be on this adventure.

17:48And whatever you guys want to do in your wedding is fine by me.

17:50I'm 100%.

17:51You're talking about this adventure, Dad.

17:53Without you and Mom, I wouldn't be here, so thank you.

17:56You're the best dad ever.

17:57I love you.

17:58Thanks.

17:59I love you.

18:00I'm here to help you whenever you need, okay?

18:03I love you.

18:05I'm very, very glad that we talked because I was able to get more clarity, but also at the end of the day, like, I'm still marrying Colin.

18:12It's actually crazy that we're walking alpacas.

18:15Yeah, it's way cooler than I thought.

18:17I hope that my parents are now starting to see how amazing Colin is because he's proved over and over and over and time and time again that he's for me.

18:42Hi!

18:43What's up, Graham?

18:44Hi!

18:45What's going on, Graham?

18:46Your hair looks so good.

18:47Hi!

18:48They look so much brighter.

18:50It's so good.

18:51Candy is Mima, and she is my mom.

18:56Ow, you look a little fried today.

18:58I got out of the sun today.

18:59You're so tired.

19:01Mima lives both in New York and in Florida, but she will not let life get in the way of being a part of her grandkids' lives.

19:11I'm sorry.

19:12I'm so tired from going to Alpaca home.

19:14Oh, but that's okay.

19:15I'm glad I get to see you.

19:17I'm excited to be here because I don't even remember when the last time was that I spent Easter with the family.

19:23You are.

19:24Oh, dear.

19:25Yeah, so much.

19:26Easter.

19:27Everything that they're involved in, I want to be involved in.

19:31I love them to death.

19:32Baylin has always had that special place in my heart, and I don't look at Bay as having Tourettes.

19:40I see Bay as she's got the biggest heart.

19:43Oh, Bay, it's beautiful.

19:46I think Baylin and Colin make a great couple.

19:49I think the engagement was awesome.

19:51Is Colin here?

19:52No Colin?

19:53He's at work.

19:54Oh, that bitch.

19:55I know.

19:59Where's Sammy?

20:00No Sammy.

20:01She just couldn't do it.

20:02You know how it goes with her.

20:04I know.

20:05She felt bad, and I didn't want to make her feel bad.

20:07Come on, Winnie.

20:08Let's go outside.

20:09I'm going to take Winnie out.

20:10I'm going to call.

20:11I'm going to FaceTime Sammy about the alpaca farm.

20:13Come on.

20:14He needs to go out.

20:15He needs to go out.

20:18I miss Sammy, and I love her, and I know it's getting harder and harder for her to travel.

20:23Sammy's anxiety and OCD becomes disabling.

20:26She has done a very good job at hiding it, but it has become more difficult for her to travel because of it being at a very high peak.

20:46Are you taking a ?

20:47Pick up.

20:51Hi.

20:52Hi.

20:53You look sunburned.

20:54I said .

20:55No.

20:56It was a long day.

20:57I'm not kidding you.

20:58We missed you.

20:59I know.

21:00I miss you guys too, but I'm the only one that really has to take a flight there.

21:04So then when mom's like, oh, just get on the flight.

21:07It's fine.

21:08Like, oh, it's just a quick little flight.

21:10Like, it's not.

21:11When I leave the house, I have to flick the lights three times before me because if I only do it once, then something bad's going to happen on the way to the airport.

21:18I can only say certain things.

21:20I can only wear a certain pair of shoes.

21:23I have to sit in row 13 or 14 right over the wing in the aisle seat.

21:27Every time I get on the plane, I have to, like, look at the cockpit and make sure that all of the buttons are on.

21:32When I was eight years old, I knew I had to do things a certain way, but I wasn't sure why.

21:37And that's when I started therapy because if I didn't do something the way that my brain would tell me to, something was going to happen.

21:44Like, not terrible, like, oh, I'm going to get an F in school.

21:48Terrible, like, I'm going to die.

21:50Somebody in my family is going to die.

21:52Car accidents, like, my brain goes AWOL.

21:54I can't really, like, enjoy anything.

21:56You're like a prisoner to your own thoughts.

22:00For me, everything has to feel perfect or else I will redo it 60 times.

22:04Like, if I were to throw that marker over there on the table and it were to land sideways, I'd flip it.

22:09Or I'd flip it again because it doesn't feel right.

22:11Or I'd twist it because it doesn't feel right.

22:13Or I'd need to do it again and throw it in the right angle at the right time at the right place.

22:17It's literally, like, mind controlling.

22:19Like, I'm in my own prison locked behind bars.

22:22No one knows or no one sees.

22:24It's, like, always constantly in your head.

22:27Uh-huh.

22:28That was a big struggle growing up, watching Baelin deal with all of her own issues.

22:32And then also dealing with mine, it's almost like we both failed, my parents.

22:36How were we raised by two absolutely selfless, caring, supportive parents?

22:42And then we're both, like, down in the basement because we shared a room, like, struggling.

22:47But also in a way, like, I found comfort and safety within Baelin because we did both struggle

22:51with kind of sort of the same things, even if they were a little bit different on each

22:55sides of the spectrum.

22:58I still do want to see you.

23:00And I also have a wedding to plan.

23:02And I need my maid of honor to do that.

23:04So...

23:05Sammy knows that she's my maid of honor because, like, it would be so rude if I picked someone

23:17else over her.

23:18Like, no one gets her place.

23:20I'll go!

23:21I'm so excited.

23:27So are there any plans?

23:29Are there any wedding plans?

23:30What is...

23:31What's...

23:32I mean, it's like, I think that they've been, like, scrolling online and glancing.

23:35That's the idea I'm getting from her.

23:37But you just hear within the next year.

23:40And things are different.

23:41Like, when we got married, we had...

23:42Like, if you're gonna get married in the church, the church makes you go through the

23:47counseling.

23:48And then after that, then you can set up your...

23:50And then you...

23:51Like, it was kind of laid out for you.

23:53You had a plan.

23:54And Julie and I have talked about this.

23:56Even if it's not even called counseling, maybe if it's just, you know, marriage guidance or

24:00whatever it is, I think that's something they should look into.

24:04It's not like something that you go, I wish I would have never went there.

24:07Nobody's gonna lay out in counseling or marriage guidance exactly how things are gonna pan out for you.

24:13Because people change over time.

24:15Your finances change over time.

24:17The demands of children and family and...

24:19Like, all of the things change and you change and develop as people.

24:23I think those are really important things that that third party will make them more aware of.

24:29Yeah.

24:30I just feel like that would be a bonus and that's why I'm a really big fan of, like, mentioning it to them.

24:36I just don't want them to be offended.

24:38His family is very religious.

24:41Very.

24:42Very spiritual people.

24:43Yes.

24:44Good people.

24:45So they're probably going to want the same thing, okay?

24:48Where's your connection spiritually?

24:50Or are they going to continue to live where they're at?

24:52I don't know.

24:53I don't know what all of those things are, but that's the whole premise of this.

24:58I feel a little bit in the dark.

25:00I think knowing what Colin wants to do after the military would be kind of a relief.

25:06But we don't want to be overbearing.

25:08Al was a little tough with him.

25:10He was, like, very in his face, like, this is my girl.

25:14And Colin so far has passed the test through Alan's toughness.

25:19But that doesn't mean that there isn't some, like, residual feelings of, like, you know, here your parents are kind of, you know, intervening in our life again.

25:29We're thinking about heading there this week and kind of introducing it to them.

25:40And I hope the talk doesn't go awry.

25:44Personally, I don't feel the best about going to the grocery store myself.

25:53Me and grocery stores have a very complicated relationship because of my tics.

25:59you, bitch.

26:01If I don't get my tics and anxiety under control, I'm going to end up on the ground.

26:14I am making my first homemade red velvet cake from scratch for Colin's 25th birthday.

26:26Colin has no idea.

26:27Colin's going to be really surprised.

26:29You know.

26:37Do I want a cupcake?

26:39I love it so much.

26:41I love the sprinkles.

26:42I'll come back for you.

26:44Don't you worry.

26:45Personally, I don't feel the best about going to the grocery store myself.

26:48Because me and grocery stores have a very complicated relationship because of my tics.

26:54This isn't good for you because then you're a .

26:57You said a dead word .

26:59That hurt really bad.

27:00How are you going to do this when you're holding on your own, Bailen?

27:05But since me and Colin have been living with each other,

27:11there's been times where I go to the grocery store by myself.

27:14And every time that I go to the grocery store, it's different.

27:17Let's go find purpose flour.

27:20There's no signs.

27:23Okay.

27:24I've been recorded throughout stores.

27:27People staring at me.

27:29Everyone noticing I'm different.

27:31It gives me a lot of anxiety to go out in public.

27:36Wait.

27:37I think there's vanilla pudding.

27:39Hold up.

27:40We got vanilla pudding.

27:42Wait.

27:43Do I need jello or do I need pudding?

27:45What the is the difference?

27:48I don't want to this up.

27:50Is this pudding?

27:52I have never shot for half these ingredients before.

27:56Buttermilk.

27:57That'd be like buttermilk pancakes or like?

28:00I don't think pancake mix goes in cakes.

28:03And I honestly have no idea what I'm looking for.

28:06Heavy whipping cream.

28:09Mascarone cheese.

28:11Okay.

28:12None of that's down here.

28:13Did I pronounce that right?

28:15Mascarone.

28:16Mascarone.

28:17Mascarone.

28:18Mascarone.

28:19It's got to be some French Italian bougie.

28:24Mascarone.

28:25Ha!

28:26Woohoo!

28:27Bread all purpose.

28:30I'm starting to get anxious.

28:33And my tics are acting up.

28:35And especially my motor tics.

28:40And when my anxiety goes up.

28:44My OCD gets worse.

28:49I'm like really distracted right now.

28:54you bitch.

28:57Hey.

28:58an almond bitch.

28:59If I don't get my tics and anxiety under control,

29:02I won't be able to walk through the grocery store.

29:04Okay.

29:05Heavy whipping .

29:07I'm gonna end up on the ground.

29:11you bitch.

29:13If I want to finish this and get home.

29:18It's time to put these on.

29:20I need to put headphones on.

29:23Headphones and music is the one thing that soothes my tics.

29:28So it's kind of like distracting your brain.

29:31The type of music that I listen to to help my tics is country music.

29:37Christian music.

29:38Because they're soothing.

29:40Ha!

29:41Found the buttermilk.

29:42If I can put headphones on to ease my anxiety.

29:46It's almost like my body is calm.

29:52Mascarone cheese.

29:55Oh my God.

29:56I don't know if they have it.

29:58What's in this jar?

30:01No.

30:08I have a question.

30:09Yes.

30:10Where would the Mascarone cheese be?

30:13It would be right there.

30:14Go.

30:15I'll tell you where to stop.

30:17Okay.

30:18Little more.

30:19Little more.

30:20Little more.

30:21It should be right there.

30:22Yes.

30:24All right.

30:25It feels really good to push through something that I was scared to do in the first place.

30:29Oh my God.

30:32It smells so good.

30:33I'm getting two.

30:34Of course the cupcake's a reward.

30:36When I do hard things, I give myself tweets.

30:43I have Tourette's syndrome.

30:45So if you notice anything, just don't mind me.

30:48No, it's not good.

30:49It's not good.

30:50Okay.

30:51The shopping trip wasn't perfect, but it was successful.

30:56And I did it by myself.

30:58It takes time.

31:00Anything with time, anything with practice.

31:02Like, I feel more comfortable.

31:04I don't like the name Mike.

31:06Oh, man.

31:07Oh, God.

31:08Now I gotta go home and bake this sucker.

31:11You know?

31:12There we go.

31:19It's really nerve-wracking to bake your first cake from scratch.

31:24Weenie.

31:25Colin gets home from work at five.

31:27Wait.

31:28Wait.

31:29My parents are coming later.

31:31I feel like it's a race against time.

31:33I'm more than nervous, actually.

31:35I'm living in a girl's dream world, whoa.

31:47Can't wait to see where life takes me.

31:51A girl can only dream.

31:56It's really nerve-wracking to bake your first cake from scratch for your significant other's birthday.

32:08Did me.

32:09I've used the oven before.

32:11Not a good idea.

32:12There was one time I made cookies.

32:17Listen, they were baking all night.

32:18What do you want me to say?

32:20I forgot to turn the oven off.

32:24That's not safe.

32:26But it's really important for me to be able to use the kitchen by also not hurting myself, hurting others, or burning down our whole apartment.

32:38What are you guys doing?

32:40Colin gets home from work at five.

32:42My parents are coming over later for his birthday.

32:44And I appreciate my parents making efforts to get closer to Colin.

32:49So that means I have a total of about five hours to finish this cake.

32:55Thank God, I do have reinforcement.

33:01Oh, my goodness.

33:03Here, let me take this.

33:05Look at them.

33:06They look so cute.

33:07They got their hair cut for the baby.

33:09Oh, my goodness.

33:10They can see.

33:11Leela and I met off of a friendship-making app.

33:16I have everything laid out that I think we need.

33:19Perfect.

33:20I still talk to Eileen and Olivia.

33:23They're still very close people in my life.

33:26They're just out of state, so I don't see them as much.

33:29So I decided to sign up for a friendship app and meet new people.

33:32And we really just hit it off.

33:35We're very aligned in the head.

33:37Like, I get her, and she is very good with my tics.

33:43The vision may not be what we're actually replicating.

33:47Balen did not say that she had Tourette's syndrome.

33:50On her friendship app profile, she texted me before we were about to go out to eat that she has Tourette's syndrome.

33:57Look at this.

33:58Step-by-step instructions.

33:59Pre-heat oven.

34:00I literally online looked it up because I didn't want to offend Balen in any type of way because she was really like the first person that I met who had Tourette's syndrome.

34:10We're going to do a red velvet 2-5 cake.

34:13Okay.

34:14Because he's turning 25.

34:15And then we're going to cut out these little pictures and stick them on sticks and put them in there.

34:19I never made something so extravagant before.

34:21Amazing.

34:22He may get a 2-3 for his birthday, for all I know.

34:25Me and Balen have done cooking and baking in the past.

34:28We're doing teamwork.

34:29There we go.

34:30Do you want to try it?

34:31Yeah, I do.

34:32I've learned to be more helpful to her.

34:37You've got to be almost kind of ready for anything.

34:39Okay.

34:40There we go.

34:42I try to be mindful and make it a bit safer.

34:48What did you just do?

34:49Oh my God, smell that.

34:50Oh my God!

34:51It feels like it's been left out for nine years.

34:54There's a lot of scents that set my tics off.

34:58And this is the first time I'm smelling buttermilk.

35:01This smells like Beckner's feet after his baseball game last week.

35:04Wait, wait, wait.

35:06There's trash.

35:08There's buttermilk.

35:0910 out of 10.

35:10Disgusting.

35:11Ever seen an egg crack this way?

35:13Weenie!

35:14Perfect.

35:15See that?

35:16Just two more times.

35:17Just two more?

35:18Yeah, don't put your hand there because I don't want that.

35:20It's going to hurt.

35:23Tap that weenie.

35:24Tap the rotisserie chicken.

35:25I did so good for the longest time.

35:28I really did.

35:29Throughout the day, my tics always progress.

35:35He's going to love it.

35:39I think he will like it.

35:41It's just, when am I going to finish this?

35:44So this is going to bake for 30 minutes and then we can get it all set up to where you can just do the decorating.

35:50Okay.

35:51It's a little ambitious.

35:53Perfect.

35:54Do you care putting both of them in?

35:56Yeah, I can do that.

35:57I'll put it down.

35:58And I'm going to put a timer on my phone.

36:01I put it for 26 minutes instead of 25 minutes because I do everything in three sixes or nines.

36:06And that's my OCD is everything has to be in threes.

36:09It just makes sense in my head.

36:11Okay.

36:12It doesn't make sense in Collins and Colin adjusts to it very, very well.

36:15It's literally constant.

36:17Yes, it's all day, every day.

36:19I didn't really know that she had OCD so aggressively, even the time it has to be in threes.

36:26And I'm like, I cannot do that head math.

36:28Um, it's fine.

36:30It's fine.

36:37Oh, there's the timer.

36:38All right.

36:39Let's check her out.

36:42Oh, she's done.

36:44You're done.

36:45You're done.

36:46I am very proud of Vaylin because she's making progress to be more independent.

36:51And she's able to do more by herself now.

36:56Your mom squirted.

36:58Sorry.

36:59Okay.

37:00Okay.

37:01My wheelchair is going to be here in three minutes.

37:03Send me a picture of it when it's done.

37:04I will.

37:05Love you.

37:06Sorry.

37:07I couldn't stay longer.

37:08No, you're fine.

37:09We didn't get very far.

37:10It's been a long time, but it's not, it didn't get very far.

37:13So we'll see how it goes.

37:15I'm going to get the door for you.

37:18Am I nervous?

37:19I'm more than nervous actually to have Leela leave and have me finish the cake by myself.

37:24Bye.

37:25Bye.

37:26Okay.

37:27I have a little bit of time.

37:28I hope.

37:29I feel like it's a race against time and I'm a perfectionist.

37:33I just want you guys to know I have no idea what I'm doing.

37:36I hope you guys know that.

37:37Happy birthday.

37:38Thanks.

37:39Walking into the apartment for Colin's birthday were a little reserved to bring up marital counseling.

37:46I hope this goes as well as we've talked about.

37:49I think it would be a good tool to have.

37:52I'm sure this wasn't the birthday Colin was expecting.

38:02Yeah, yeah, yeah.

38:03I'm on my way to something better.

38:12Don't look at me with that side eye.

38:14You're about to fall over, Tootie.

38:17Guys.

38:18Why are you trying to take your crown off, Laugh?

38:21You guys stay put for Colin.

38:23I'm going to get the cake.

38:28I'm really excited about the finished product and how it turned out.

38:31I'm ready to rumble.

38:33But the way that I had envisioned it was not the way that it turned out looking.

38:38Please do not mess up.

38:42Oh my, please.

38:48Holy balls, man!

38:53It's up the whole cake.

38:57But it's for Colin and if I see a smile on his face, then that's all that matters.

39:04Happy birthday!

39:09What do you guys have on?

39:10Oh my goodness!

39:12Aw, babe.

39:13What the heck?

39:14Babe, this is sick.

39:16How did you do all this?

39:17You got my sunburnt picture on there?

39:19Oh yeah, you didn't need sunscreen.

39:20That's awesome.

39:22I was working on this all day and I picked out 25 photos.

39:26Pumpkin still hasn't moved.

39:28Pumpkin.

39:29Oh, there you go.

39:30All better.

39:31Are you going to wear it?

39:32If I'm wearing one, you're going to wear one.

39:35Please.

39:36This is cool, babe.

39:37Thank you so much.

39:38I wasn't making tiramisu.

39:40That's too much for the first time.

39:42Wait, you made this cake from scratch?

39:44Yeah.

39:45You didn't buy it?

39:46No.

39:47Wow.

39:48That's impressive.

39:49Balen has always struggled with being in the kitchen.

39:53So for her to spend all day making a cake, it just shows that she is trying to improve on her independence and it just makes me super proud of her.

40:02Oh, my goodness.

40:03Oh, my goodness.

40:04Hey, old bitch.

40:05Hey.

40:06Hi.

40:07How are you doing, babe?

40:08Thanks for coming.

40:09Hey.

40:10Happy birthday, Colin.

40:12Happy birthday, buddy.

40:13Thanks.

40:14Walking into the apartment for Colin's birthday were a little reserved to bring up marital counseling.

40:20Happy birthday.

40:21Happy birthday.

40:23This is not us criticizing or evaluating the relationship.

40:27So I hope this goes as well as we've talked about.

40:32So you made the cake?

40:34Me and Leela.

40:35Yeah.

40:36Oh, Leela came.

40:37Mm-hmm.

40:38It looks great.

40:39So this is how it started.

40:40And then I cut it with my plastic knives.

40:43Oh, my gosh.

40:44Stop.

40:45Yeah.

40:46It's surreal.

40:47It's unbelievable.

40:48It's a lot of adjectives to describe how my mama heart feels.

40:51It was so much fun to make.

40:53I'm glad you liked it.

40:54Yeah.

40:55Where she's come in the last, I guess, even six months, but where she started from five,

41:01six years ago to this point is astounding, to say the least.

41:06Well, thanks for letting us ambush your birthday.

41:08Of course.

41:09Yeah.

41:10I definitely feel like Colin has improved Balen's self-confidence and overall well-being.

41:17This is good.

41:18I made it.

41:19That's really good.

41:20It tastes like ice cream.

41:21I'm not even a red velvet person, and I'm loving it.

41:24I think that you could make the wedding cake.

41:27We're sitting here.

41:28The mood is good.

41:30And I'm thinking to myself, they have no idea what we're about to tell them.

41:34We've practiced how we're going to articulate it enough so that I think our presentation is going to be smooth.

41:41I hope that it is perceived well.

41:44All right, so this is kind of off topic, but there is just something kind of important that Al and I would like to talk to you guys about.

41:57Mm-hmm.

41:58Don't be worried.

41:59Okay.

42:00So we have been talking about our marriage and, like, the steps of, you know, to where we're at and the parts of it that have made us successful, and it started with some premarital counseling.

42:21Mm-hmm.

42:24Um, this isn't like a, like a, let's see if we fit, and if we don't, we're breaking up.

42:32That's not.

42:33It's more like.

42:34More like guidance.

42:35Like, hey, this is what you're in for, right?

42:37Like, are you on the same, um, mindset and principles and fundamentals regarding things in life?

42:45And I don't want you guys to be offended, but I, I think, um, I think it would be a good tool to have.

42:56I had a conversation with my dad that I thought went well.

43:02So I'm confused with why they're bringing up counseling.

43:07I'm sure this wasn't the birthday Collin was expecting.

43:10Collin looks pissed.

43:13Yeah, I thought everything was fine, but this is definitely a curveball.

43:19Do they think our relationship is not in good standing?

43:34I can't look at the chickens.

43:36Chase after the weenie.

43:38Joe Biden does crystal math.

43:40I have Tourette's syndrome, stupid.

43:43Tourette's syndrome is a neurological involuntary motor and vocal disorder.

43:47You're bald, Chuck.

43:49Just in case you weren't aware already.

43:50Yeah.

43:51I would like to have a bouncy house at the wedding.

43:53Are you four years old?

43:54Two girls nights.

43:57Oh, my God.

43:59I'm not like every other bride.

44:02Have you guys ever had alpacas at a wedding?

44:05Nice to meet you.

44:06Nice to meet you.

44:07I'm the owner here.

44:09Dick.

44:10You okay?

44:11Eat a bag of chips.

44:14In thinking about your budget, you're not gonna love what I have to tell you.

44:18What if we can't have our dream wedding?

44:21I would be devastated.

44:23We're making the right decision, right?

44:26I don't know, are we?

44:28Oh, my God!

44:29Oh, my gosh!

44:31What do you think?

44:33It's amazing.

44:35I want her to be able to say, this is the best day ever.

44:40Each time I crumble.

44:43Give me the world to me, okay?

44:45You made me a lion, and I'm ready to roar.

44:49You guys are getting married.

44:50You're gonna eventually want children.

44:52I get a steady paycheck in the military, and my contract will be expiring in about a year.

45:00A medical plan is probably the number one thing when it comes to jobs.

45:05Her father, he's having a lot of influence on our lives right now.

45:12Because life is tough.

45:13You add children.

45:15them kids.

45:16Please don't be offended.

45:17My parents bringing up premarital counseling.

45:20Kind of just felt weird.

45:21We're going one step forward and three steps back.

45:23Let's be honest here.

45:24Let's be honest, bitch.

45:25I'm choosing a career that your dad told me not to choose.

45:29It's a lot of pressure.

45:31Suck a .

45:32I literally don't want to be in the middle of that.

45:35If this doesn't work out, what are you going to do?

45:38Is this what our marriage is going to be like?

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