- 2 months ago
Never Mind The Buzzcocks Season 5 Episode 1
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Short filmTranscript
00:00...was Britain reborn.
00:05Hello, Bears.
00:06Hey.
00:07Hello. Hello.
00:31Welcome to Never Mind the Buzzcocks.
00:34Manchester versus Britpop.
00:37Joining Noel on Team Britpop.
00:44An award-winning actress, singer, and Britpop queen
00:48who said that meeting David Bowie on the set of Absolute Beginners
00:51was the most erotic experience of her life.
00:54For me, it was a Bedouin tent on the Arabian Peninsula.
00:57And let's just say, those boys do not moisturise their hands.
01:01Let's go, she can's it!
01:03And Alan Titchmarsh is mad for Pampas.
01:11Monty John can't get enough Wild Meadow, but for me, there's only one Supergrass.
01:15And here's the drummer, Britpop's own Danny Goffey!
01:18Joining Jamali on Team Manchester tonight.
01:27A DJ, radio presenter, and keyboardist for the iconic 90s band in spiral carpets
01:34who says that while touring with the band EMF,
01:37he witnessed one of them put a lime in his foreskin.
01:39Big deal.
01:40Since Sainsbury started charging for their carrier bags, I get my weekly shop in mind.
01:46It's Clint Boone!
01:48And their guest captain for this evening.
01:55The legendary Maracca Man of Happy Mondays and Manchester Royalty.
01:59In his heyday, he turned down Julia Roberts' advances in a club.
02:03But I suspect he probably just cobbled 14 ecstasy tablets.
02:06So it might not have been Julia Roberts, it might have been a yucca plant.
02:09And it might not have been a club, it might have been a transit van.
02:11Who knows?
02:13He doesn't!
02:13It's Bears!
02:14Over the course of this evening, we will decide once and for all
02:23which was the better cultural phenomena of the 90s,
02:25the chemical haze of Manchester or the lager-fuelled swagger of Britpop.
02:28Trigger warning, I have to mention drugs a lot tonight,
02:31otherwise we'll have nothing to talk about.
02:33Welcome, everyone.
02:35You all right?
02:35Nice to be here, lovely to be here, yeah.
02:36Lovely to have you, Clint.
02:38Baz, you all right?
02:38Really exciting to be here.
02:40How do you feel about being Team Captain?
02:42I feel the pressure of it, but I'm sure I can handle it, you know.
02:45Do you feel...
02:45I've done bigger jobs.
02:50Let's talk Manchester for a bit, Baz.
02:52A lot was made of your drug use in the 90s, you know.
02:54You must get sick of being labelled with that.
02:57Well, you know what?
02:57The Persian rugs, it was actually the making of me.
03:01Well, I found a picture of you.
03:02It's lovely.
03:03Any family would be absolutely delighted with it.
03:04Have a look.
03:05Back in the day, you actually gave me a pair of your maracas.
03:14Did I?
03:14Yeah, and signed them.
03:15And when I say maracas, Greg, I mean testicles.
03:19They're in a little cabinet at home.
03:22Baz, just tell us what happened when the Happy Mondays got sent to Barbados, will you?
03:25You got sent to record an album, right?
03:27Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:28And paid.
03:29Well, you know what?
03:30It was being sent there because it was apparently, you know, a drug-free island.
03:34Yeah.
03:35What a mistake that was, you know what I mean?
03:38My understanding of it is that you sold the recording equipment so you could buy drugs.
03:44Well, we got a great album out of it.
03:46What did it get recorded on?
03:48I think it might be an album you've imagined.
03:52Baz, I can't wait to see how you lead this team.
03:55It's Baz, ladies and gentlemen.
03:56What a treat.
03:58Clint Boone is here.
04:03It's an Inspiral Carpet.
04:04It's one of my favourite bands.
04:05You and Baz are good mates, is that right?
04:0738 years, I think, since we met.
04:10And since then, we've, like, regularly gigged together with our bands.
04:13We'd DJ all the time.
04:15Did three gigs with him last week.
04:16Proper bangers, you know what I mean?
04:18I love the Inspiral Carpet.
04:20I just don't imagine that you were as off your heads as that lot, were you?
04:23We didn't need to.
04:24If you were just within three foot of him, you were stoned or battered.
04:27What's the maddest thing you were involved with when you were with the Inspirals?
04:32Is it the one where I shat in a teapot?
04:33That's the one, yeah.
04:36It was in a hotel in Swiss Cottage.
04:43I just want that to be the end of the story.
04:48Why did you shat in a teapot, then?
04:50I was bored, I was drunk, and it was rock and roll.
04:52Tick.
04:53The three ticks.
04:55Half-fifth of the carol.
04:58That's why I never drink tea in all-soul rooms.
05:01Dave Stamala's been in there.
05:04Clint Boone, ladies and gentlemen!
05:10Rit pop queen, Patsy Kenseth is here!
05:18There's certain images that just sum up that period, I think.
05:21And you know the one that you're forever associated with, who I think is so cool.
05:25Have a look at Patsy Kenseth back in the day.
05:28Remember that?
05:28It was a moment.
05:31It was a moment.
05:32It was a moment.
05:33Let's bring you back down to Earth, though.
05:35What happened with the golf cart on the M1?
05:39Liam and I had started seeing each other,
05:42and it was just as, what's the story?
05:44Morning Glory had come out.
05:45So it was growing, you know?
05:47And so we went to Nebworth and did the first night,
05:52and it was, you know, spectacular.
05:54And Liam and I forgot that there was a show the next day.
05:59So we decided to have a bit of a late night and nick a golf buggy from backstage
06:06and drive out onto this deserted, massive field.
06:12And Liam's going, yeah, I'll do a fucking right, yeah.
06:14Do a right, go, do a left.
06:15So I'm driving the buggy cart, and then next thing I know is, like, we're on a main road,
06:23literally onto the M1 on the golf cart.
06:27And he's going to me, yeah, do a fucking U-turn.
06:30Do a U-turn.
06:31And I said, I can't fucking do a U-turn.
06:34It's a fucking golf buggy.
06:36What do you want me to fucking do?
06:38Anyway, the police, they pulled us over,
06:42and they said, hello, Mr. Gallagher,
06:44I think you've rather lost your way, haven't you?
06:47And we were both eyes out on stalks, obviously.
06:51Yes, we have.
06:53Please take us back and don't come into the caravan.
06:59Because there could be contraband.
07:01If at the end of this story, Patsy, someone doesn't shit in a teapot.
07:05There's more, but I'm not going to throw it.
07:08I have to take it to the grave.
07:14Danny from Supergrass is here.
07:22We're not, are we, Danny?
07:25We're not.
07:26Was it mental with the Supergrass back in the day?
07:29Yeah.
07:29We're fairly hedonistic.
07:31Were you?
07:31Yeah.
07:32Because I've got to be honest, Danny, you've been on the show before.
07:34You're a delightful man.
07:35Yeah.
07:35I just think you're a lovely uncle who whittles in a shed.
07:38So you need to tell me some rock and roll stuff that happened.
07:41My earliest rock and roll memory was with these two.
07:44I was a big fan of Clint and Spiral Carpets when I was about 15.
07:47I did my first acid trip at one of his gigs.
07:49You took acid when you were 15.
07:51Jesus Christ.
07:52I wasn't comfortable with the sherbet dam.
07:56We were chatting before about when I first met you and Gaz.
08:00Yeah.
08:01We always remembered it.
08:02Even before you became famous, we remembered these little kids.
08:04You know what I mean?
08:05And then you sat on the front of the stage right through the gig, didn't you?
08:08Like that, looking up.
08:09I remember your singer, Tom, just going scruffing my head at the front, going, this little mentalist
08:14at the front.
08:14He ain't stopped jumping.
08:15And I was just like, yeah.
08:17My first thought would be like, why are these little two kids high on acid?
08:23Someone call their parents.
08:26Jamali, what were you up to in the 90s when this lot were all off their heads?
08:29Oh, mate.
08:30Fuck, getting on it.
08:32No, I was born in 91, so I wasn't doing nothing.
08:36Don't make out you weren't having a wild time.
08:38We've got proof.
08:39Oh, fuck.
08:40Oh, fuck.
08:40Let's crack on.
08:52Calm down, Baz.
08:53First question.
08:54Knowles team, your Britpop question is all about these music legends.
08:57Take a look at this.
08:58Slip inside the eye of your mind
09:03Don't you know you might find
09:06I've had a place to play
09:08And after all
09:12You're my Wonderwall
09:17There they are.
09:24Of course, that's right, it wouldn't be Britpop without featuring the hairy potatoes at the back of the cupboard Oasis.
09:30But can you tell me how a member of Oasis got into a pickle due to a medical complaint?
09:35Was it A, they had to cancel a gig once because Bonehead fell into a river and got Viles disease?
09:41Knowles said, I'm not very good at the Manchester accident, full disclosure.
09:44There's no way.
09:45He said A.
09:59There's no way the gig could have gone ahead.
10:02His hands swelled up like Mickey Mouse's and that mouse had some big fucking hands.
10:08Was it B, at the Sixth Sense premiere, Noel missed the twist as he was in the loo with IBS.
10:13He said, I spoke to that kid from the film.
10:16Afterwards, he asked did you guess he was dead and I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.
10:21So I patted him on the head and slowly walked away.
10:24Shit film, shit night.
10:26Although I did make the Boddington's girl.
10:29Or was it C, whilst playing Glastonbury for the first time, Liam experienced a spicy flare-up of his psoriasis on his scalp.
10:37Two fans mistook his flaky skin for coke and decided they'd hoover it up.
10:41Liam said, they were taking it out of my hair and putting it on their gums and up their fucking noses.
10:47So there you go.
10:48There's your three.
10:49What do you think?
10:50Did Bonad get big hands?
10:52Well, I love that.
10:53I'd love it if he did have big hands.
10:56I think that sounds like Noel.
10:58Yeah, but he's sort of in Noel's voice, isn't it?
11:00What, the Boddington's girl sounds like Noel, doesn't it?
11:02Exactly.
11:03I think B, I don't think C.
11:06You don't think fans were snorting his psoriasis on his head?
11:11Were you there?
11:12You might have been there.
11:13Glastonbury, um...
11:15You were, because look how long it's taken you to remember.
11:20Well, you would know whether Liam had a psoriasis on the scalp.
11:22Well, I mean, that's like asking a doctor about their patients.
11:28Sounds like he was flaky as fuck, then.
11:31I couldn't possibly tell you something like that.
11:36Hey, Bez, I've been told by the researchers that you had a medical thing that made me laugh for exactly one hour afterwards.
11:43What was it?
11:44Well, I had nearly the strangest rock and roll death ever, you know what I mean?
11:48A backhand, a shoulder, overdose.
11:50That's right.
11:51Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:52And all the things.
11:54Honestly, anyway, I had these sardines, and I got this, like, really bad stomachache after, and I've heard, like, bicarbate soda sorts you right out.
12:04So I ran downstairs, got a big heap spoon of bicarbate soda, put it in my water, next it down, flush straight away, back end, front end, sorted.
12:14And next thing, I felt this thing in my stomach.
12:16I thought, it's like, a little bit left, I'll do a bit more.
12:19So I got another sable spoon of bicarbate soda, put it in there, neck that down, and, like, what, fucking hell, it's getting worse.
12:27So I did another, I did another sable spoon of it, and next minute, I spent, like, the next, like, 24 hours, like, remember them volcanoes?
12:37Like, what, like, just froth came out of it.
12:45And, but, you know what, I found out, like, they cleaned James out of the shit and all right, you know what I mean?
12:49Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:51I mean, I could have had a hundred guesses.
12:53Yeah, yeah.
12:54About what you took that almost killed you.
12:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:57Okay, let's get back to the Gallaghers.
12:59They might have buried their hatchet now, but it hasn't always been the case.
13:03Noel once said about his mum, I liked her until she gave birth to Liam.
13:07It's a genuine quote.
13:11Trent, Noel Gallagher was your roadie, is that right?
13:13Yeah.
13:14Did he get kidnapped?
13:15What's that?
13:16Yes, the minibus with the spirals in a knoll was in London, and a bit of a traffic jam.
13:21And about two or three vehicles ahead was a Luton van.
13:25And our drummer, Craig, had been mithering for ages for a cooler fan, you know, to cool him down on stage, and we couldn't afford one.
13:32And the one thing in the back of this van, with the door open, was a cooler fan in a box.
13:38The van's at the red light.
13:39Our bus is a couple of vehicles behind.
13:41Craig says, Noel, there's one of them fucking fans that I want, go and get it.
13:47So Noel jumps out of the van, runs round to the Luton, climbs in the back of it, picks the fan up, and then the lights change to green.
13:54And he fucking drives off.
13:57And Noel stubbed it like, like that.
14:01So he went missing for like half an hour.
14:04And we found him stubbed a pedestrian crossing in Crouch End with a fucking fan in it.
14:08OK, I think we need to get on.
14:11I think we need to guess.
14:12Oh, God, the question.
14:14The question.
14:14What was it?
14:15I would love it if Oasis fans were trying to snort Liam's psoriasis off of his shoulders.
14:22That's hilarious.
14:24I think B.
14:25You don't think it was maybe Bonet's big hands?
14:27I don't remember clown hands.
14:29But you think it's number two, don't you?
14:31I think it's number two.
14:32I think it's number two.
14:33You think, OK, I think it's C, but they see if you think it's B.
14:36All right, well, you are wrong.
14:41The answer is C.
14:43Wow.
14:44Liam Gallagher's fans mistook his psoriasis for cocaine.
14:49And they snorted it off him.
14:52Did anyone here go to the Oasis reunion?
14:55I did, yeah.
14:55I've never seen anything like it.
14:57The atmosphere was unbelievable.
14:59The vibe throughout the city, even through the day, was, like, biblical.
15:03Actually, you know, it's a bit of a cliche, but it's just...
15:05Because it's the biggest feel-good story of the decade, isn't it?
15:08I did watch the pirate stream on someone's TikTok live.
15:12It was shaky, but I got the vibe.
15:14Yeah.
15:18Have you been?
15:19Did you go?
15:19No, because I watched the whole thing unfold, and it was so magical, those memories.
15:26And I haven't seen Liam for nearly 26 years, but I'm so happy for Lennon, our son, because
15:34he's just gone to watch this cultural explosion, and I couldn't be happier for the band and
15:42for all the people that are rediscovering them.
15:44It's so nice to see two brothers make up, isn't it?
15:47It's beautiful.
15:47Yeah.
15:48Because I don't know about you, I was an arsehole to my sister.
15:51Well done, Oasis!
15:52Yes.
15:53Well done!
15:54Hard luck, Nolte team.
16:00No point for you there.
16:01Bez's team.
16:02Take a look at this.
16:03That was Pass Me the Big Bowl.
16:25This kid's head is massive.
16:26Tim Burgess and the charlatans.
16:28But can you tell me, what intimate experience did the band like to engage in?
16:33Was it A.
16:35Before a show, the band would share a cocktail of each other's urine.
16:38Guitarist Mark Collins said, we nicknamed it Dr. Bladder's Lucky Homebrew, so that no-one
16:43knew what we were up to.
16:44God knows where the idea came from.
16:46Drugs, probably.
16:47But it really did change me as a man, friend, and a father.
16:52Or was it B.
16:53That bands would blow cocaine up each other's bum holes.
16:57The technique required one paper cone, one thick straw, and one Rizla paper.
17:02They called it, genuinely, Cocainous.
17:05A phrase coined by front man Tim Burgess, who said, yeah, I just made it up.
17:12Two words, throw them together.
17:13Portmanteau.
17:13Is that what they call it?
17:15See, was it, when stressed, the bands would calm themselves down by fingering and sniffing
17:20each other's belly buttons.
17:22Bassist Martin Blunt said, it takes you out of your head and puts you right in the moment.
17:27When I pop my pinky in, I know the second I inhale that aroma, life will just make a little
17:32more sense.
17:32There it is.
17:36What do you think?
17:37Could you imagine them fingering each other's belly buttons?
17:39I could imagine every one of them things happening before the show.
17:42What, sticking your finger in someone's belly button?
17:44I was going to say, I think B sounds like a waste of coke, you've just got a numb ass.
17:49Isn't it good to put drugs up your bottom, Noel?
17:52Yeah, it's not bad, yeah.
17:53It's sport, it's sportfully important.
17:55Apparently Stevie Nicks Road, he used to blow coke.
17:58Famous for it, yeah.
18:00McDonald's straw.
18:01I mean, the thing is, I wouldn't know, but you want to make sure that you blow and you
18:08don't suck.
18:10That's, that's really hard.
18:12I've got to be honest, Patsy, you don't need to be an expert to know that.
18:15All this chat about blowing coke, get someone to blow coke at you, I've made me realise,
18:20I don't actually have any real good friends.
18:23I can't think of one friend that I can call up and be like, brother, I need a hit.
18:27No, no, no, I'm afraid of it.
18:28No.
18:30Like, as you think of the thought, you get a knock on the doorbell and it's no restaurant.
18:33What about this notion that they might have drank each other's piss?
18:40I don't, I, it's a thing that though, isn't it?
18:44People on these weird things and they drink their own piss and all that.
18:47Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:47You might understand this, how are they benefiting from drinking each other's piss?
18:51Like, I like the smell of my belly button, I get that.
18:54And I can imagine that blowing coke up my asshole, probably be nice.
18:59It'd be easy to do your ass up.
19:10Like going under a bridge.
19:13I'm glad you made it clear it was a tall thing, I thought you just said I had a big asshole.
19:20What do you think, Bez?
19:21Yeah, I'm not so sure, it's really, I'd like, I'd, I'd, I'd worry that they were doing any of them three things before they came.
19:28Or all of them, yeah.
19:30It was definitely Be.
19:32Before we find F, you're right, how do you know?
19:33It's in Tim's book.
19:34Oh, yeah, that'll do it.
19:43Right, let's look at it, it's Be.
19:45Yeah.
19:46You're right, it's Be!
19:51The band was blown, coke up each other's arses, and the activity was called Cocanus.
19:58Okay.
19:59Well done, Bez.
20:00You've got a point!
20:01Hey!
20:01It's best to see!
20:03Go on!
20:07Time for a little break.
20:09We'll see you in a bit.
20:09Welcome back to Nevermind The Buzzcocks.
20:24Manchester vs. Britpop.
20:26The show that proudly refused to cut down on your pork life and get some exercise.
20:30And you know why?
20:30Because pork's delicious.
20:31Live fast, die young.
20:33Next up, it's the intro's round.
20:34Bears and Jamali on your feet, please.
20:36You'll be performing the intro of a song to Clint.
20:39And remember, Clint, it is the title of the song we're looking for.
20:43Yeah, you heard that.
20:44Go on.
20:44Here we go.
20:45Song one.
20:46Take it away, boys.
20:47Let's go.
20:59Go on, one more time.
21:09I feel like I'm on drugs.
21:11You chugged me.
21:12I feel like I'm at a whole tub a bike up.
21:13I thought, when you first started, when you first started, I thought Resurrection with the guitar game was not, sadly to you, that's your guess, Resurrection is not the right answer, I'm passing it over.
21:23Is it Stone Roses? Is it Waterfall? I'm not telling you. It's not Waterfall. Ah, you're wrong, it was I want to be adored by the Stone Roses, here's how it should have sounded.
21:38Yeah, pretty good though, wasn't it?
21:43I shouldn't have got it, weren't you? When Beth said I want to, I shouldn't have got it.
21:50That was the Stone Roses with I want to be adored, front man Ian Brown said, we've got to ban all air freighted food, carrots from Holland, potatoes from Egypt, it's all got to stop, and then he devoured a big bag of drugs transported from a Colombian man's bottom.
22:06Next one please, Bez, Jamali, take it away.
22:09We've got to do it quick, because it's going to leave Bez's mind like a scene.
22:16You start it, brother.
22:24I do the old tune.
22:26Yeah, that's my...
22:27You did the last song and then my part.
22:32Yeah, yeah, that's something.
22:35Stay off the bike up, kids.
22:38There'n't stop.
22:39Go on.
22:39Oh God.
22:54We're doing this song.
22:55Alright.
22:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:58That's what we were doing.
23:01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:02That's all I did yesterday.
23:04Alright, come on.
23:05One more time.
23:06Go on.
23:09Sorry, can I interrupt?
23:13Yeah, yeah, you can.
23:14Just to help Clint out.
23:16It could not sound less like this.
23:18Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:24I'm passing that over.
23:25Clint doesn't know.
23:26Give me a title of a song and let's put everyone out of their misery.
23:28Any song?
23:29Ring of Fire.
23:30It's got to be a Manchester.
23:31So close.
23:32Strap yourselves in.
23:34What about Step On?
23:35It was Step On by the Happy Mondays.
23:36Yeah, go on.
23:37I just got that up to you later.
23:39I thought you said it.
23:40See you later.
23:41That was Happy Mondays with Step On.
23:44Here's how it should have sounded.
23:52Oh, that's what I meant you should do.
23:54Woo!
23:55I forgot I had that.
23:56Yeah, yeah.
23:58I know.
23:59That was the Happy Mondays with Step On.
24:01And for the avoidance of doubt, when I say the Happy Mondays, I mean Bez's band.
24:08Bad luck.
24:09You guessed none correct.
24:11Right, Noel and Danny, it's your turn to perform to Patsy.
24:17So on your feet, please.
24:18Okay.
24:19As always, Patsy, it's the title of the song we're looking for.
24:22Yeah.
24:23I'll do the drums.
24:24Are you ready?
24:25Off you go.
24:26Oh, I know it, I know it.
24:41Oh, my baby.
24:42Oh, my baby.
24:43Oh, my baby.
24:44Oh, I know it, I know it.
24:46Oh, my.
24:47I'll tell her, guys.
24:48Pass it over.
24:49Oh, my.
24:50Oh, my baby.
24:52Sounds like a song from Oliver.
24:56It was originally.
24:58Oh, my darling.
24:59No, incorrect.
25:00Pass it over.
25:01What's it called?
25:02Tender.
25:03Tender is correct.
25:04Well done.
25:05It was tender by Glenn.
25:07Most of the time.
25:11You did very well.
25:13But they stole it.
25:15Yeah, I'll do it.
25:18Does he not say I'm my darling, Brittany?
25:20Yeah, he thinks I'll be.
25:28That was Tender by Blair, which was kept off the number one spot by Brittany Spears' Hit Me Baby One More Time.
25:33Not because it was a better song, but because in the video, Brittany was dressed as a sexy schoolgirl.
25:38And in the late 90s, casual paedophilia was absolutely fine.
25:43Yee!
25:50I'm talking about that.
25:55Our band was kept off number one by R. Kelly.
25:58Yeah.
25:59Maybe I want to start a campaign that's actually going to take him off number one and reinstate us to number one.
26:03I agree.
26:04Quite right.
26:05It's quite right.
26:09Alright, song two.
26:10Take it away.
26:11Oh, yeah.
26:12This is...
26:13Bing!
26:14Bing!
26:15Bing!
26:16Bing!
26:17Bing!
26:18Bing!
26:19Bing!
26:20Bing!
26:21Bing!
26:22Bing!
26:23Bing!
26:24Bing!
26:25Bing!
26:26Bing!
26:27Bing!
26:28Bing!
26:29Bing!
26:30Bing!
26:31Bing!
26:32Bing!
26:33Bing!
26:34Bing!
26:35ktoÅ›
26:38It was Elastica and Connection, as opposed to a poor connection with Elastic, which is
27:06what my uncle claimed in court when he was arrested for exposing his genitals in parks.
27:11Fortunately, it was the late 90s, so casual paedophilia was absolutely fine.
27:21You got one right!
27:25We did have easier ones, I think.
27:30I don't know how much of it was down to them being easier,
27:34how much of it was down to not having Bess.
27:38I agree with that.
27:40No.
27:40No, no, he's right.
27:41He made it.
27:45And at the end of that round, Noel's team have one point.
27:48Bess's team have two points.
27:54Our next round is called IT Parade,
27:57where our panel must identify a Madchester and Britpop legend.
28:00Noel's team, here's your line-up.
28:03For the audience at home, take a look at this.
28:04That was the brilliant Echo Belly with I Can't Imagine the World Without Me.
28:26But can you tell me which of our line-up is their bass player, Alex Kieser?
28:31Is it, number one, Echo Belly?
28:34Number two, Andrea Bocelli?
28:41Number three, erotic dreams about Lorraine Kelly?
28:45Number four, why are my fingers always so smelly?
28:51Or number five, I feel so lonely, please rub my belly.
28:56There you go, Noel.
28:56That's a selection of very different men.
29:01Yeah.
29:02Is there anyone we can rule out early duels?
29:06Well, I remember playing lots of gigs back in the day with you, son.
29:10You did play gigs with them?
29:12Yeah.
29:12I know it's not number five,
29:14because I reckon I'd been out on loads of mad benders with him.
29:17With number five?
29:18Mm-hmm.
29:19Yeah, I'm not sure he's the bass player in Echo Belly.
29:22Oh, all right.
29:23So you've been on the piss for number five,
29:25but he might not be in Echo Belly.
29:29Is this the bass player?
29:30Bass player for Mechabelle.
29:31Because from this angle, number one looks like he hasn't got any arms.
29:34Yeah.
29:38Number two is speaking to me.
29:41Is he?
29:42He's speaking to me as well.
29:44He doesn't love nothing but the sea.
29:45Oh, number two, stairs at the ocean.
29:52You get a lot of tall bass players.
29:54So I'd say number three.
29:56I think number three looks like he's capable of killing.
30:03What do you think about number four?
30:05Number four, if he was in Echo Belly,
30:07then I'll be very shocked.
30:12I feel like number four's a genie if you rub a vape.
30:15No, seriously, Danny,
30:25you think you've been on the piss for number five,
30:28but he's not in the band.
30:30He's not in the band.
30:31Listen, I've been on benders with a lot of people
30:33and I've definitely been on the bender with him.
30:36All right, Nolstein, final answer.
30:37Let's go.
30:38You choose.
30:39I'd say three.
30:40I'd say three as well.
30:42I back you.
30:43Okay.
30:43Lock it in.
30:44Number three.
30:45Number three, locked in.
30:47Will the real Alex Kieser please step forward?
30:51Oh, it's number four.
30:52Fuck.
30:52Hello, love.
31:04You're a trickster, aren't you?
31:06You're a trickster.
31:07This is different times, though.
31:09This is different times.
31:10Alex, thanks for coming on.
31:12You're welcome.
31:13What's happening?
31:13Are you Echo Belly playing at the moment?
31:15No.
31:16Okay.
31:18Let's hear it for Alex Kieser, the rest of the line.
31:25Okay.
31:26There's this team.
31:27Your turn.
31:28For the audience at home, take a look at this.
31:29So silly things are always easy to blame.
31:38Try to grow up.
31:41Don't always be the same.
31:47That was Paris Angels with Perfume.
31:50Bez's team.
31:51What I want to know is which of our line-up is the singer Ricky Turner from the band?
31:56Is it?
31:57Number one, Perfume.
31:58Number two, Fart.
32:00Number three, Eggy.
32:02Number four, Burn.
32:03Number five, Pin Juice.
32:09Pin Juice.
32:12Over to you, Bez's team.
32:13What's your opinion?
32:14I think number four requested the biggest jeans they had.
32:16Yeah, yeah.
32:20Fuck me, they are big.
32:22Fuck, they create their own ecosystem.
32:24Fuck me.
32:25What do you mean, number five looks so comfortable in that hat?
32:31Yeah, I feel bad for number five.
32:32We shouldn't be here.
32:33We should be in the crowd for time team.
32:36What about number three's hat?
32:37Is that a Manchester hat?
32:39It looks like a lovely old lady's sun hat.
32:44Let's have some facts.
32:45Ricky lives in Manchester.
32:48Oh, here we go.
32:49The research has been at work.
32:50There we go.
32:55Ricky's favourite colour is black.
32:58Oh, hang on.
32:59This is interesting.
33:00Ricky is terrified of sponges.
33:04He doesn't like how they feel.
33:06It nauseates him.
33:08Who might be scared of sponges?
33:10Look, I'm just drawing.
33:12I think it's number one, man.
33:13That's a Mancunian face right there.
33:15Look at him.
33:15He's the final boss.
33:19All right.
33:19Well, don't take your final guess until I give you this fat tear.
33:22This is fucking mental.
33:27If Ricky could travel back in time, he would love to show a caveman and 1980s ghetto blaster.
33:36Well, we've got history with the Paris Angels.
33:39And I have as well.
33:40Yeah, so I know Ricky.
33:42Oh.
33:43But whoever's styled him for this.
33:45He's done well, hasn't he?
33:46You know what?
33:46I was like that.
33:47Which one's Ricky?
33:48There, you know what I mean?
33:49Do you think it might be number one?
33:50Because he's a really good-looking lad.
33:52Yeah.
33:53Oh, can we have a different line-up?
33:55Yeah.
33:57Okay, final guess.
33:59I think number one.
34:00Bears, team captain?
34:02Well, obviously, I wouldn't agree with number one.
34:04What do you think, Clint?
34:05Yeah, number one.
34:06Number one it is.
34:07Is it number one because you know him?
34:09Well, yeah.
34:10Yeah.
34:12It still could be wrong.
34:15Let's find out if you're right.
34:17Will the real Ricky Turner please step forward?
34:20Woo!
34:24Yes, Ricky.
34:25Oh, yeah.
34:27Bears, this team.
34:28You're right.
34:30Ricky Turner.
34:31Bang in tune.
34:33Ricky, thanks for coming on.
34:35What are you up to at the moment?
34:37Work at Spirit Studios in Manchester.
34:39Nice one.
34:41That's it for Ricky Turner and the rest of our guests.
34:44Ricky Turner.
34:44Woo!
34:45And at the end of that round, Noel's team have one point.
34:51Betis' team have three points.
34:52Woo!
34:56Time for a break.
34:57We'll see you in a bit.
34:58Woo!
34:59Woo!
34:59Woo!
34:59Woo!
35:00Woo!
35:00Woo!
35:01Woo!
35:01Woo!
35:02Woo!
35:02Woo!
35:03Woo!
35:04Woo!
35:05Woo!
35:06Woo!
35:07Woo!
35:08Woo!
35:09Woo!
35:10Welcome back to number one of the first cards, Manchester versus Britpop.
35:16It's now time to play our new game, Uppers and Downers.
35:21Woo!
35:26Over there, there are two piles of cards, one with Manchester hits and one with Britpop hits.
35:30We'll show you one of each, and all you have to do is to correctly tell me which one charted
35:35higher for a point for your team.
35:37But I can't do this all by myself.
35:39I need some assistance.
35:40So, in Manchester's corner, please welcome the Manchester Maraca!
35:45Woo!
35:46Woo!
35:47Woo!
35:48Woo!
35:49Woo!
35:50Woo!
35:51Woo!
35:52Woo!
35:53Woo!
35:54Woo!
35:55And in Britpop's corner, please give it up for Milky from Coffee and TV!
35:59Woo!
36:00Woo!
36:01Woo!
36:02Woo!
36:07Just to limit your expectations, if you think there's going to be band members inside
36:11those costumes, then forget it.
36:13It's two very badly paid members of production.
36:16Ha-ha-ha!
36:18Woo!
36:19Woo!
36:20Woo!
36:21Woo!
36:22Woo!
36:23Bye!
36:24Manchester, Maraca, what is your first song?
36:26that's right folks the costumes are impractical
36:31it's waterfall by the stone roses
36:35and milky you poor bastard what are you going with oh it's oasis supersonics i'm a little
36:49blessed a lot
36:56right who do we think charted higher you can discuss it with your team mates
37:02we've never had teams take something so seriously
37:08absolutely delighted to carry serious
37:12i don't know i weren't around
37:16give me your answer oasis was higher i think we would say the same
37:19you're both saying oasis charted higher yeah
37:22milky maraca could you please reveal your chart position
37:27i uh
37:31oh this is good
37:35this is good teller isn't it
37:40it's gonna be stone right
37:43oh
37:47oh
37:49oh
37:51oh
37:53i like
37:55oh
38:04oh
38:06super sonic peaked at 31 losing to waterfall at 27
38:10np. so you're both wrong
38:11right
38:12shame on you
38:14call me suspicious i think the audience are enjoying this game for the wrong reason
38:21All right, song two.
38:35Manchester Maracca, what's your next song?
38:45Spiral Carpets, this is how it feels.
38:51Spiral Carpets, this is how it feels to be small.
38:56And Milky.
38:59Quite a confident little swagger there from Milky.
39:03Oh, another banger.
39:05It's Pump In On Your Stereo by Supergrass.
39:15You can all have a guess.
39:17Who do you think charted higher?
39:18Surely one of you two knows this.
39:21We are going for Supergrass on this one.
39:23What do you think then, Danny?
39:25Do you think you came in higher than Carpets?
39:27No, I'd always go for one of my favourite ever bands in Spiral Carpets,
39:30but I don't know.
39:31What do you reckon?
39:32Well, I mean, I wasn't in either of those bands, so...
39:35Well, you should have asked.
39:37You should have asked.
39:38I'm just having a second.
39:39I was second out.
39:40I can't see what you think.
39:41Well, I didn't marry anyone in those bands.
39:45So, um...
39:46You should have asked.
39:55Danny, do you know what your result was for that?
39:58Your chart result?
39:59I think that was 14, I think, I was.
40:01Oh, yeah.
40:01I got a feeling I was about eight, nine.
40:03Yeah, I think you were the winners on that one.
40:05So, you're saying Supergrass came in higher?
40:07Yeah.
40:09Supergrass is saying that they came in higher.
40:11Right.
40:12And Spiral Carpets are saying that they came in slightly lower.
40:16Yeah.
40:17We'll go with that.
40:18Is this like me saying to you, Greg,
40:19what socks are you wearing right now?
40:22Shish.
40:23I'm not thinking about my socks.
40:25I'm not thinking about the songs.
40:26Like the audience, I'm just waiting for these two pricks to have to take them...
40:29Take the numbers off the front.
40:34Milky, Maraca, can you please reveal your chart position?
40:41They can't see.
40:43They can't see it.
40:45Hey, Milky!
40:56Cardi!
40:57Oh.
40:59You were right with your number.
41:08Yeah, yeah.
41:09I mean, who'd have thought this would be getting the biggest reaction?
41:13Pumping on your stereo, peaked at number 11.
41:16Beating, this is how it feels, came in at number 14.
41:20So, both teams get a point.
41:21Yeah.
41:22And at the end of that round, Noel's team has two points and Bess's team has four points.
41:32Let's say a big thank you to our fabulous assistants, from Manchester, the record, and Murphy.
41:51Bang on the, bang on the tune.
41:53Yeah, it's amazing.
41:54Just listening to the music tonight, to be honest with you, it's just, it's so joyful.
41:59I kind of don't relate to much music these days.
42:03And this has just been like, you know...
42:05Sort of a batch of youth.
42:06Yeah, yeah.
42:07Hasn't it?
42:08Yeah, yeah.
42:09It's a real celebration.
42:10Sorry to get all deep there.
42:11Right, it's time for next lines.
42:19I'll give you the first line, you tell me the next one, you get a point.
42:22Simple as that.
42:23You're up against the clock.
42:24This could be important.
42:28Noel's team, you're up first, and your time starts.
42:32Now, confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as...
42:36Park life.
42:36Correct, blur, park life.
42:38He sips another rum and coke.
42:40Fider drink.
42:41And told a dirty joke, ocean colour scene, the day we caught the train.
42:44We are young, we run green.
42:46We are free.
42:47We have teeth nice and clean.
42:48We have teeth nice and clean supergrass, all right.
42:50Yes, there's love if you want it.
42:52Love if you want it.
42:53Don't sound like a sonnet.
42:54Don't sound like a sonnet, the verb sonnet.
42:56Oh, Deborah, do you recall?
42:58The wood chip on the wall.
42:59Nope.
43:00Ah!
43:00Your house was very small.
43:02Very small.
43:02Disco 2000.
43:04She got one in the oven.
43:05Oven.
43:06Oasis?
43:07But it's nothing to do with me, Oasis, she's electric.
43:09Yes.
43:09I don't understand how a heart is a spade.
43:14But somehow the vital connection is made, elastic a connection.
43:17If it's good enough for you...
43:19It's good enough for me.
43:21Me.
43:21Correct.
43:22Dodgy.
43:22Good enough.
43:23Do you remember the time...
43:24Well done, Noel's team.
43:31You've got four right.
43:32OK, Bess's team, here's yours.
43:34You need three points to win.
43:35Come on.
43:36You're against the clock.
43:38And your time...
43:40Starts.
43:42Now.
43:43Oh, sit down.
43:44Oh, sit down.
43:44Oh, sit down.
43:45Sit down next to me.
43:46Correct, James.
43:47Sit down.
43:48She'll carry on through it all.
43:49She's a waterfall.
43:50The stone rose is waterfall.
43:52Don't you know he can make you forget you're a man?
43:54You're a man.
43:56Interesting.
43:56I'm Alan, man.
43:57Happy Mondays.
43:58Step off.
43:58You should have done that.
44:00You see, wait, you said it.
44:03Oh, it's my fault.
44:04It's very short of the audience.
44:06Can you dig it?
44:07Oh, yeah.
44:08Can you dig it?
44:09Yeah, correct.
44:10The Mop Turtles.
44:11Can you dig it?
44:12Itchy and scratchy come running up the alley.
44:15Charlotons.
44:15If you'll be good, I'll be good to your daddy,
44:17the Charlotons North Country boy.
44:18Husband don't know what he's done.
44:20Kids don't know what's wrong with mum.
44:22Correct.
44:22It's Spiral Carpist.
44:23This is how it feels.
44:25Yippee, yippee, aye, aye, aye.
44:27I had to crucify...
44:28...by some body today.
44:29Some brothers today, I'll give it to you.
44:31Happy Mondays.
44:31Kinky Afro.
44:32I can see her.
44:33Here she comes.
44:34Stone Noses.
44:36Yeah.
44:36Here she comes.
44:37She bangs the drums.
44:38She bangs the drums.
44:38Stone Noses, she bangs the drums.
44:40Oh, yeah!
44:47That's how it means it's the end of the round
44:48and it's the end of the show.
44:49And I can tell you that Noles team have six points.
44:52But the winners with nine points...
44:54There's his team!
44:58Thanks to Jamali, Bess, Clint, Patsy, Noel and Danny.
45:04Good night!
45:04Thanks.
45:05Thanks.
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