- 17 hours ago
- #realityrealmus
#RealityRealmUS
Reality Realm US
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01For 15 years, I fantasized about everyone noticing me as I walked down the hall.
00:07What would I be wearing? Would every guy worship me?
00:10Would I be five inches taller and have porn tits?
00:12No, that was not my reality.
00:15My moment in the spotlight sucked some serious ass.
00:18But, like any good horror movie, my nightmare began at summer camp.
00:25It was a lame afternoon dance, but magic was in the air.
00:29The dorks were getting crunk and the rest of us were getting drunk.
00:34And for the first time since I got my braces off, I didn't feel invisible.
00:50There it was, the signal.
00:53I was hoping he'd do something more inspired, like sniff his armpits.
00:57But Maddie had a habit of doing that. A lot.
01:00Attention to personal hygiene was just one of Maddie's many stellar attributes.
01:05He was perfection.
01:08Unlike me, I was a hot mess of nerves because Maddie McKibben wanted me, a nobody, to meet him in the utility closet.
01:16This wasn't the inciting incident of some sappy teen special about how I got knocked up on the last day of summer camp.
01:24I knew better than to bare back.
01:26Our passionate bumping of uglies was a sign. This year would be my year.
01:31For once, I wouldn't be overlooked. Not with Maddie at my-
01:35Back door!
01:36Sorry, I slipped.
01:37Yeah.
01:38Change was in the air.
01:40I could smell it.
01:42There was change and pine scented cleanser?
01:45Am I hurting you?
01:46Somehow admitting my virgin status seemed like a buzzkill.
01:49How would so?
01:51Probably just an allergy attack. I get them all the time. Don't let it stop you.
01:55That's right.
01:56Whew.
01:59Oh, stop!
02:11You bummed? Summer's like over?
02:13Yeah.
02:14Any plans for your last two weeks?
02:17I don't know, probably just hang out, watch movies, swim or something.
02:23Cool.
02:27Are you going to sophomore orientation?
02:29Well, don't we have to?
02:31Right, of course.
02:33No, what I meant was, I couldn't help myself.
02:37Maddie had cracked my hard candy shell and I was oozing with sticky sweet love.
02:42Do you want to go together?
02:47Hey.
02:50You are the J-Town.
02:52So he wasn't a poet.
02:53He was still Maddie McKibben.
02:55But nobody can know that I like you.
03:06And I was still Jenna Hamilton.
03:12That's ridiculous.
03:15Allison is not a size two.
03:17No.
03:18I saw her at the club.
03:19She was fallen out of her tennis skirt and not in a good way.
03:23Hi.
03:24Jim.
03:25This came in the mail for you.
03:27Jim is a plastic surgeon.
03:29Yeah, he would never sleep with her.
03:32My mother always knew when something was wrong.
03:35Sweetie.
03:38Come here.
03:40And promptly avoided the conversation.
03:43I'm not paying Dominique to do your hair anymore if you're not going to style it.
03:53Seriously.
03:54When we meet again, my bones will ache, my muscles shake.
04:00My blood will rush, my face will flush.
04:03What do I call the worst day of my life?
04:06When we meet again, your eyes will drop, my heart will stop.
04:11Rubbed, raw, and reeling.
04:15He blew you off?
04:16That's crap ass.
04:17But I sort of saw it coming.
04:18And you didn't warn me?
04:19It wasn't like I saw it psychically or anything.
04:20Guys like Maddie don't go for girls like us.
04:21But look at the bright side.
04:22At least Maddie didn't digitize you, broadcast it to the entire band, and then ditch you at
04:25winter formal to hook up with scary Carrie.
04:28That was hardcore humiliation.
04:30In your scenario, at least nothing happened.
04:45At least nothing happened.
04:47Can you imagine how suicidal you'd be if God forbid you actually took your shirt off?
04:52I can only imagine.
04:55I've spent some sad times at Jenna High and you have got to snap out of it!
04:59The marching band's having a kegger at Ricky Schwartz's house tonight.
05:01I need my favorite wing woman there since Ming's bagged out.
05:04Is she grounded again?
05:05Yeah, she can't get her PSAT scores above 120.
05:08Her parents are starting to think she might not be Chinese.
05:11That's so not cool.
05:12I didn't say it, Ming did.
05:14So will you come?
05:16Not sure, call you later?
05:17I'll keep my phone up close and personal in anticipation.
05:21It's on vibrate.
05:23Go sob in your blog and feel free to quote me.
05:29Jenna, as you are now, you could disappear and no one would notice.
05:45A friend?
05:46Below is a list of suggestions you should take into serious consideration.
05:50Number one, stop being such a pussy.
05:54Whoever wrote the letter didn't pull any punches.
05:57It was the truth.
05:59And the truth hurt.
06:01Dinner in ten!
06:05Sometimes being a teenager makes you want to die.
06:11You do look awful.
06:15That's gonna take me away.
06:27Jenna? Jenna? Jenna!
06:45Physically, she's on the road to recovery.
06:47But emotionally, it's gonna be a long haul.
06:50Did she exhibit any warning signs?
06:53Why can't she be like every other teenager and just starve herself?
06:57I mean, I can wrap my head around that, but this...
06:59Lacey, this isn't about you.
07:00Our daughter is suicidal.
07:02I can't even imagine what she was feeling when she wrote that note.
07:08It was just a dramatic teenage rant.
07:10Not a cry for help.
07:12Hey, sweetheart.
07:15It's okay, honey.
07:16Everything's gonna be okay.
07:18It was a misunderstanding of epic proportions.
07:21God, I wanted to die.
07:23I mean, you know what I mean.
07:26When I was initially charting my course to visibility,
07:30I really should have defined the kind of visibility I wanted.
07:33That girl was in my Western Civ class last year.
07:37I had no idea she was huffing spray paint.
07:40My mom's manicurist friend's therapist was at the hospital
07:43when that girl came in.
07:44I swear, it was Pop Rocks and Coke.
07:46I heard when they pumped that girl's stomach,
07:48they found, like, 700 pills.
07:53What kind of pills?
07:55No, it was auto-erotic asphyxiation.
07:58I love that girl.
07:59For two weeks, I tried to explain that my accident was just that.
08:03An accident.
08:04The more I denied it, the more everyone assumed I was in denial.
08:08It was a vicious circle.
08:11I mean, he has a fupa.
08:14So creepy.
08:15I can't believe that girl showed up.
08:17Handicap is a hard look to style.
08:19She should be in a mental ward.
08:25Why are you shushing me?
08:27Sorry, Sadie.
08:28The loser wants us to talk about her.
08:31That's why she did it.
08:33It was a pathetic ploy for attention.
08:36She should go to church.
08:37Or Thailand.
08:38Only a pedophile would screw her.
08:41Maybe.
08:43Everyone is treating me like I'm in a bad lifetime movie.
08:47But you can be the one with Kristen Stewart.
08:49Kristen was date raped.
08:51You guys know I would never try to hurt myself, right?
08:53We know, Jay.
08:55Right?
08:56I'm hitting shuffle on the subject.
09:05Hamlet is one of the most powerful and influential pieces of literature in the English language.
09:11The famous expression, to be, or not to be.
09:16What do you think Hamlet is saying there?
09:20Anybody?
09:22Yes, you in the back!
09:25I'm not raising my hand.
09:28Okay.
09:30Can you take the sign off my forehead that says fragile?
09:33It's not on your forehead.
09:34It's around your neck.
09:35It's a little big, but maybe you'll grow into it.
09:38Scratch that.
09:39We said the same thing about your nipples.
09:42Ow.
09:43Just go ahead.
09:44I'm gonna wait out the herd.
09:45Okay, the short bus is leaving.
09:56It was the first time we'd seen each other since my deflowering.
10:03And I'd almost forgotten how jacked I looked.
10:08It was a complicated question.
10:15Jenna Hamilton, please report to the office.
10:19Jenna, so nice to meet you.
10:27So, I know Mr. Michaels was your guidance counselor last year, but considering your recent...
10:34Accident?
10:35Yes, considering your recent accident, Mr. Michaels thought we might be a better fit.
10:40You know, girl on girl.
10:42I mean, girl to girl.
10:44Okay.
10:45Your mom gave me a copy of the letter that you got.
10:48It wasn't very nice.
10:50Carefrontations never are.
10:52That's a nifty turn of phrase.
10:54Nifty to say, not so nifty to get.
10:58So Jenna, tell me, how did it make you feel when you read the letter?
11:02Crappy.
11:04But you should know, I didn't...
11:05I didn't try to kill myself.
11:07I mean, I was seriously low threshold for pain.
11:10I'm not suggesting that you did anything.
11:12No, not at all.
11:13But just for fun, would you mind if I looked through your bag?
11:16I'd want to make sure we don't have any more accidents.
11:18Get it here.
11:22Basically, I'm here to ensure that you have a happy and successful year.
11:26You weren't planning to ingest these, were you?
11:31Actually, I was.
11:33They're breath mints.
11:36So they are.
11:39You know what, Jenna?
11:40I gotta tell you something.
11:41When I was your age, I had troubles too.
11:43Ugh.
11:44Talk about disasters.
11:46Who am I kidding?
11:47I'm still a mess.
11:49So hot.
11:51But you know what?
11:52That's what gives me a unique perspective to make strong connections with students like yourself.
11:57Ooh!
11:58Urban Decay.
11:59Fancy.
12:03Do you have any questions at all?
12:04I had about a thousand, but not one of them was appropriate.
12:08I think you've covered just about everything.
12:11Okay.
12:16My bag.
12:17Yeah.
12:18That is yours.
12:34Recycle, douchebag!
12:54What is the fascination with me?
12:56You had a dance with Beck.
12:58Like a bad car crash on the side of the road?
13:00Everyone wants a peek.
13:01Well, the next person who stares is gonna get the evil eye.
13:03An evil eye in your condition is not gonna translate.
13:06Ooh, flash your .
13:08Yeah, help me get my panties off, and we're all set.
13:10All right, hey, hey, attention, Palos Hills High.
13:13Who's ready to rally?
13:15Oh, perfect timing.
13:16My school spirit's at an all-time high.
13:18Come on, I got a really big football game today,
13:20and there is no better way to get pumped up than with the Wheel of Pep.
13:27We need two guys and two girls.
13:30Do I see Sadie Saxton raising her hand?
13:33Oh, yeah, that's classy, Sadie.
13:36Looks like Sadie's six-ton might be hitting seven tons.
13:39Maybe she needs to fill a void.
13:40The only void she has is in personality.
13:43She's a prima bitch arena who buys her popularity.
13:45How does a girl who can't even jump two feet in the air get on a pep squad?
13:50Sorry.
13:50I never appreciated Sadie's bitchiness, but I understood it.
13:57She was hungry.
13:58McKibben, you're not getting out of this.
14:00Aw, come on, man.
14:02We don't have to watch this.
14:04I'm fine.
14:04I wasn't.
14:06Despite all my external wounds, my heart was probably gonna take the longest to heal.
14:10And I was tired of the pain.
14:13You want to play?
14:13Yeah.
14:14All right, get up.
14:15All right, so that's just, uh, we need one more girl then.
14:17Come on, guys.
14:18One more girl.
14:19One more...
14:22girl.
14:23Your meds are malfunctioning.
14:33Everyone's gonna stare.
14:34I might as well go on stage.
14:36Yeah, okay, we have a tanker.
14:37Come on down.
14:38I know what I'm doing.
14:40Confession?
14:41I had no idea what I was doing.
14:43But I couldn't look back.
14:45At all.
14:54Personal Space.
14:55Ever heard of it?
14:58Hey, it's Jenna, right?
15:00Yeah.
15:00Okay, Jenna, spin that wheel!
15:08Come on, guys.
15:08We gotta get pumped.
15:09We got a big game tonight against the Warriors.
15:11Let's go.
15:11Show that football team your support.
15:12Let's get pumped!
15:14Okay, Sex Exchange is the name of the game.
15:16Now, here's how it's played.
15:17Our contestants will now pair up into teams of two.
15:20They will then go behind individual partitions and change into two.
15:22and change into each other's clothes.
15:24The team that gets dressed first will win!
15:28She's weaving, mother.
15:30Hell yeah!
15:31We're in it to win it!
15:32Woo!
15:33All right, guys.
15:34Ready, set, go!
15:49Hurry!
15:50Hurry!
15:51All right, guys.
15:52Come on.
15:53Keep it going.
15:53Who's coming?
15:54Come on!
15:55We're gonna win it!
15:57Hey, come on.
15:58Let's hear it.
15:59Let's hear it.
15:59Let them hear you.
16:00All right.
16:01Come on.
16:02Come on.
16:02Come on.
16:03Hey.
16:03All right.
16:04Hey, it's just down to the girls' job.
16:05Go, Sadie!
16:06Go, Sadie!
16:07Go, Sadie!
16:08Woo!
16:12Woo!
16:13Yeah.
16:13Come on, guys.
16:15Yeah!
16:16Yeah!
16:19Okay, yeah, we have our winners.
16:20Woo!
16:22Jenna!
16:23Jenna!
16:24Jenna!
16:25Jenna!!
16:26Jenna!
16:28Jenna!
16:29Jenna!
16:30Jenna!
16:32Jenna!
16:33Jenna!
16:34Jenna!
16:34Hamilton, you're an animal.
16:37And you brought a whole new meaning to getting in a guy's pants.
16:41I wonder if I can make a shirt out of pants like that.
16:43You totally can. We can make some serious money.
16:46We'll call the line Jenna by Jenna.
16:49What happened, Sadie?
16:50She couldn't fit into Maddie's clothes.
16:53No.
16:54It was karmic intervention.
16:58I've never been so humiliated.
17:01I hate that freak.
17:03It was a stupid pep rally.
17:05Already forgotten.
17:06Are you okay?
17:08No, I'm not okay. You picked that game on purpose.
17:12Cruel much?
17:13I just spun the wheel of pep. It could have landed on anything.
17:16Oh, lame cop out.
17:18Okay, well, for whatever, I'm sorry.
17:22Please. I don't need someone like you to feel sorry for me.
17:27It's not like I'm gonna kill myself over it.
17:30It's true when they say that no good deed goes unpunished.
17:35Oh, hey.
17:37Hi.
17:39I, um...
17:41Maddie!
17:43Yeah.
17:45There I go.
17:46Hey, don't let her get to you. Sadie loves to play the victim.
17:56You, on the other hand, you have some serious backbone.
18:00Which is about the only thing not broken on me.
18:03Oh, you were, you were brave.
18:06Babe, you gonna grab Froyo?
18:09Yeah, just give me a minute, Liz.
18:11The bell's gonna ring soon.
18:13Then just go without me.
18:19So impatient.
18:21Girls.
18:23Listen, you should stay out of trouble, Jenna.
18:25I want to see you around.
18:27I will.
18:28You will.
18:30Sorta hard to miss.
18:32Hey, T.
18:33Okay.
18:34So, Ricky Schwartz just called me and he wanted to know if he could give you a sponge bath.
18:45Creepy.
18:46With his tongue.
18:47Awesome.
18:48This year's gonna rule.
18:49Ta-ta.
18:50Ta-ta.
18:52Okay.
18:53Okay.
18:54So, Ricky Schwartz just called me and he wanted to know if he could give you a sponge bath.
18:59Creepy.
19:00With his tongue.
19:02Awesome.
19:04This year's gonna rule.
19:05Ta-ta.
19:16Ta-ta.
19:35Things weren't looking up.
19:37Besides my arm.
19:40I couldn't ask for anything more.
19:44Where are you right now?
19:49Are you still awake?
19:52Like light when it's dark out
19:56We hit the streets and stay out late
20:00Being that girl was my new identity.
20:10But I won't let it define me.
20:12I will define it.
20:24Next on Awkward.
20:27Everything is status quo.
20:29What about your breasts?
20:32Caught Maddie making fun of me.
20:33There's not much to see.
20:36Say hello to Princeton and Harvard.
20:39How are you holding up?
20:40I'm managing.
20:40I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
20:42How could you forget to tell me you humped Maddie?
21:10I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:14I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:16I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:17I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:18I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:19I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:20I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:21I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:22I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:23I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:24I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:25I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:26I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:27I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:28I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:29I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:30I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
21:31I had sex with Maddie McKibben.
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