- 3 months ago
Big Cat | Barstool Sports Advisors
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00:00Welcome to the Barstool Sports Advisory, America's premier sports information program, with Jersey Jerry, Dan Big Cat Caps, and the source, Stu Biner.
00:19Barstool Sports Advisors, week five. We are back. I'm back. Went four and four, which, hey, listen, you gotta walk. You gotta walk before you run. You gotta crawl before you walk. We are back. We got Ashley. We got Hannah back.
00:44Welcome back, Hannah. Thank God that disgusting mutant fuck Tommy's not here anymore. Hannah, we love having you back. Stu, Jerry. Yes. Stu, I would like to start with you. Yes. Three and two. One again. 13-7. We're not gambling yet. Hold on. I would like to start with you.
01:04Won my mortal shit by 40. How? Ooh. Mortal. How much of Team USA's performance can we put on you? Because you did the hype video and we got dog walked at Bethpage. Pink.
01:21I want to be honest with you. I've been there for two years. I've been involved for two years. What? With the Ryder Cup? With the Ryder Cup for two years. Okay.
01:28They've been building it for five years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So I've been involved with the Ryder Cup for two years. Not one person, and I spoke to a thousand people that know golf, that love golf, that live golf, that play golf. Not one person ever said USA had a shot. Matter of fact, every person there went out of their way to said they think Europe should have opened $1.50 favor. Yeah, they're plus 170.
01:54So there was zero expectations of USA ever winning. Wow. Zero. Why didn't we all bet Europe? Well, because we couldn't do that. We couldn't, but I... That would be un-American. But guess what? I am running out of money. I know that, but I couldn't do that. Okay, all right. I was involved with the project. I was involved with everything. He's involved with the project. And I just towed the line. I towed the line. No, he was involved in the project, Hank. I towed the line. Did you have anything to do with the creation of the course?
02:24The way they maintained the course? Because they made it a pussy course that ended up helping in our demise.
02:30The rough was very short. Very short. Almost non-existent. It actually... Two inches. No, you know what? I'm going to back up my guy Stu here. He does like a lot of rough, if you know what I mean.
02:41I love rough. Yeah, right. So that wasn't your course. I don't like shaved. Yeah, that wasn't your course. No, no. If it was your course... I don't like shaved. Oh, yeah. Stop. Oh, he likes a bush.
02:49I like going down there. I like hair. And then what I do is when it gets caught in my teeth, I use it to floss.
02:55I use it to floss. No, I've never shaved myself, my balls, my penis area. It's a big bushy. It's big bushy.
03:05Which leads me to number two. Big bushy. Leads me to number two. So that was the first one. So Stu's in the clear. He didn't build that course.
03:13It would have been... It would have been bushes everywhere if he built it. A disaster. Let me tell you something. They shot lights out. I mean, day one, Europe shot lights out. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:24Tarn to sleep with lights out. I mean, they were lights out. Day two, they put a fucking nail in their coffin.
03:30Giggle, giggle, giggle, giggle, giggle. With his pubes. What are you doing right now? You've never put a pew? You've never flossed a pew? I think it's very nasty. No, that's not nasty. What do you mean it's nasty?
03:39So you've never ate a box with hair? Yeah. No. In just a little bit of my life? No. I promise. Hey, Jerry, you ever twist the pews with your tongue? You're missing a lot. What am I missing?
03:51Flavor. It's not gross. It's like you navigate through the jungle. Yeah. He's like Tarzan. It gives it that extra special. You can play with it. You can pull it. All right, I'm out.
04:02You can open it. It's not a gross thing here. We're not talking sour milk.
04:11Time out. Time out. Time out. Time out. I don't understand.
04:22All right. You don't find that gross? No. I find it gross, but it's not going to make me throw up. I got a weak stomach. Yeah.
04:29This ketchup, smell of ketchup, does it for me. A little bit of ketchup on the toilet seat?
04:34No. Toilet seat. What do you mean toilet seat? Yeah. Why would ketchup be on the toilet seat? I don't know.
04:36That would be a woman having a period. Oh, no. And then you got the pube, and Stu's flossing with you?
04:43Oh, come on. That's not good. I can't do it. All right, here's the second thing. This leads me into the second thing.
04:47Go. Stu, you, I love you to death. I love you. You know I'd do anything for you. I'd die for you.
04:52You call me, and you say, I need this. I'll do it. You cannot get naked in the bathroom in the office anymore if you don't, if you refuse to go in the stall.
05:03That's a rule I'm going to have to, listen, there's two rules on this desk. Rule number one in the office.
05:09No guns. No guns. No guns in the office. Yeah. That's a very hard and fast rule that I made a while ago.
05:14He knows that rule. Number two, if you want to get naked, you have to go inside of a stall.
05:20Stu just literally got undressed. Last week, I took a full month. Because the way I look at it is this.
05:28It's a locker room. I agree with that. No, no. But if someone has, like when I go into a bathroom and I got to poop.
05:34Yeah. I mean, I got to poop. My cheeks are holding in a poopy. So in other words, if some jerk-off is getting dressed in the fucking stall,
05:44well, I got to poop and I literally start leaking under my underwear and down my leg because this jerk-off's getting dressed, that doesn't fly for me.
05:52But there's multiple bathrooms. There's multiple bathrooms in this office.
05:55Yeah, but what if you come in and you got to go? You ever see Brandon come in? He's got to go.
05:59He literally, he's got to go. He's hunched over. His back is hunched over.
06:04Why don't we make this? Like Quasimodo and he goes to the stall and you hear, like immediately.
06:11He sits down because I've been in there twice when he's poopy.
06:14He's crazy. He's like Thanksgiving episode.
06:16He sits down and this is what you hear.
06:22So in other words, I thought I was helping the guy. Instead, he rats me out. He exposes me.
06:26Yeah. Makes you look like a jerk-off.
06:28He looked straight at my dick, by the way.
06:30Oh, yeah.
06:30He literally, like he could have looked at anything naked on my body.
06:34He looked right at my penis.
06:35He looked at the peep.
06:37My penis, he saw it.
06:38We're closer because of it.
06:40And by the way, just remember for his penis, he's never once maintained his pubes.
06:45So it's crazy down there.
06:48They're doing brains down there.
06:48I don't know why I'm so nauseous today. I'm nauseous.
06:50Are you pregnant?
06:52No, I'm not.
06:52Congratulations.
06:53I'm a man.
06:54My penis looks like giant hair, right? A hairball.
06:58And then it looks like a nose and a chin.
07:03Little Stewie.
07:05Little Stewie screaming, ready to roll.
07:07He's about to go in the pussy.
07:09All right.
07:12So that's business.
07:13So great to have you boys back.
07:15Can I say something?
07:17Yes.
07:17I love you so much.
07:19Thank you for giving me and Sandy tickets today to go to the Cubs game.
07:22Of course.
07:23Of course.
07:23I mean, first of all, I feel like I am a Cubs fan.
07:27I'm a bandwagon Cubs fan.
07:28But now I want to be all in.
07:29Wrigley's electric right now.
07:30No, I want to be all in on the Cubs because I feel the Cubs like the Mets.
07:32Yeah.
07:33They're like downtrodden.
07:34Something always goes wrong.
07:36They never really go all the way.
07:38You know, you got one championship.
07:39Yeah.
07:402015, I got 186.
07:41That's really, you know, the bottom line.
07:4416.
07:45Oh, 2016.
07:4615 was when the Mets beat the Cubs.
07:47Oh, 16.
07:48Yeah.
07:4816, I'm sorry.
07:49I love Wrigley Field.
07:53It's so much fun.
07:54I love the people there.
07:55I love the songs.
07:56I love the pop and circumstance.
07:57I love the food.
07:59I love the energy.
08:00I love the fans.
08:00You love life.
08:01You love everything.
08:02But I love baseball.
08:03Yeah, yeah.
08:04My favorite sport.
08:04I know you are.
08:05You could have gone pro.
08:06What?
08:06You could have gone pro if you didn't hit a growth spurt.
08:10Yeah.
08:10No, no.
08:10Stop pro.
08:10Seventh grade.
08:11Sixth grade, I had a gun like Johnny Bench.
08:13They called me Stewie Bench.
08:14I threw a gun.
08:15I hit double after double after double after double.
08:18They called me Stu Cepeda for Orlando Cepeda, who hit my crushing double over the second
08:23base and set every single time.
08:25I was great.
08:25I made the all-star team in seventh grade.
08:27I love that.
08:27I made the travel team.
08:28I agree.
08:29They picked seventh, eighth, and ninth graders.
08:31I made the team as a seventh grader.
08:33I didn't play.
08:34They put me in right field.
08:35I made three errors because I can't catch a fly ball because I'm a catcher, but that's
08:38besides the point.
08:39Right.
08:39So, yeah.
08:40It's going to be great, and I'm excited.
08:42So, thank you so much from the bottom line.
08:43Of course, of course.
08:43You're very inclusive.
08:44You're very good.
08:45It means a lot to me.
08:46Of course.
08:46I just want you to know that.
08:47Of course.
08:47I love you.
08:48I love you like a brother.
08:48And I love you.
08:50All right.
08:50Guess what?
08:51Good vibes.
08:52Let's go.
08:53Like I said, I had a four and four week, which all things considered is pretty damn good because
08:58I've been atrocious, so we're going to move towards the right direction.
09:02Stu, how did you do this week?
09:03I was three and two, but I should have been four and one because the field goal by the
09:07Bears, blah, blah, blah.
09:08That killed me.
09:08That would have been four and one.
09:09Yeah.
09:10That was so close.
09:11Jerry, what were you?
09:12Two and four.
09:13Tough week.
09:13Tough week.
09:14Nine and twelve.
09:15What was your mortal?
09:16Bears minus one and a half.
09:17Yeah.
09:18They won by one.
09:18Oh, that's a heartbreaker.
09:20Yeah.
09:20What was your mortal?
09:21The over in the Titans, Texas.
09:23The only game that didn't go over in the first game.
09:24Did that win?
09:25No.
09:26It was so bad.
09:26All right.
09:27I won Patriots by 30.
09:28Yeah.
09:28Brout, burial, blowout, where the mortal's supposed to be.
09:31Let's get to it, though.
09:33Let's get to the games.
09:3413 and 7, so, and my fourth straight winning Barstool special.
09:37Yeah.
09:38I won week one, week two, week three, and last week.
09:40Love it.
09:40Four straight Barstool specials.
09:42It's why you pay me.
09:43It's why I have a paywall, and I love you.
09:44It's why you pay me.
09:45It's why I have a paywall, and I love you.
09:46I love you.
09:47Looking at the wrong camera.
09:48And I love you.
09:48Thank you, Hank.
09:49Okay.
09:50Thank you, Hank.
09:50Let's start with Vikings at Browns in London.
09:56Big Ben.
09:57Jerry.
09:57Oy.
09:58We'll start with Ashley in the weather.
10:00Yes, of course.
10:01It'll be 59 degrees and cloudy.
10:04Oh, Hannah.
10:06Favorites have excelled in international games, and they are 36, 14, and 1 straight up, and
10:1132, and 19 against the spread.
10:13Oh, and the Vikings stayed in London.
10:15They started in Ireland, and now they're in London.
10:18The Browns are starting Dylan Gabriel.
10:20Gabriel, I've got to tell you, Jerry, I fucking love the Browns in this game.
10:25It makes no goddamn sense.
10:27I love you, too.
10:28Are you out of your mind?
10:29I love them, too.
10:29Are you out of your mind?
10:30I love them, too.
10:30Defense is very, very, very good.
10:33You know, Miles Garrett, top two defensive player in the league.
10:36Dylan Gabriel, that might be the spark they need on this offense.
10:41Brian Flores might be overrated.
10:44He might be overrated.
10:47I'm taking the Browns plus four and a half.
10:49I think this is a dogshit game as well.
10:51I'm taking the under 35 and a half.
10:53Ooh.
10:55Stewart.
10:55Stewart.
10:57I'm going to lay the number here.
10:59I'm going to lay the number here for absolutely no reason.
11:02I mean, oh, oi, Big Ben, William Hill, Princess Diana's vagina.
11:10I would still eat it, even though she's in the grave.
11:14Oh, God.
11:15Jesus.
11:16And her ass.
11:18I think the Vikings are prohibitive big favorite for a reason.
11:23They're going to smack the Browns.
11:24I think the Browns suck dick.
11:28And if you bet them, you'll be sucking dick.
11:31It's all Vikings.
11:32Okay.
11:33Wow, Stu.
11:34Yeah, I like the Browns in this game.
11:35It's stupid.
11:36I know it's stupid.
11:37I know it's stupid.
11:38I'm not going to bet the over-under because I did that last week and I started 0-2.
11:43Yeah, that's right.
11:44That was bad.
11:45Yeah.
11:45That was really bad.
11:46That was bad.
11:47That was really bad.
11:48All right.
11:49Next up, Broncos and Eagles.
11:51Broncos are three and a half point underdogs.
11:53Over-under is 43 and a half.
11:57Ashley, I'll start with you.
11:59Also.
12:00Yeah.
12:00Have you ever had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
12:03Never have I ever once before.
12:05Wait, what?
12:05Huh?
12:06You heard that?
12:07It came down your desk?
12:10It went on your desk that I have it?
12:12Yeah.
12:12What's up with that?
12:13I just, like, as a kid, it just, I was never packed in my lunch, so I think as an adult,
12:17I just never bought the ingredients.
12:19Never ever.
12:20Have I ever.
12:21You had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
12:23Like, what if I'm allergic to jelly?
12:26Yeah, I don't think that's true.
12:28Can we get her an Uncrustable?
12:30Go get her an Uncrustable.
12:31Would you try one on air?
12:33I mean, yeah.
12:33Do you have an EpiPen nearby?
12:35Wait, are you actually allergic to peanut butter?
12:37No, no.
12:37No, I just, like, have a fear because it's like, okay, I've gone all my life.
12:41Wait, but do you eat peanut butter and other things?
12:43Yeah, crackers.
12:45Okay, yeah.
12:46So what would you be allergic to?
12:47Like, don't fear.
12:49I just fear.
12:50Like, 911 doesn't have to be on standby, but I just have this fear now because it's gone
12:54so long.
12:56But I, but I, but you have, you do eat peanut butter.
12:58Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:00So then there's nothing you can be allergic to?
13:01No, no.
13:02You eat Reese's peanut butter cuffs?
13:04Yes, my favorite.
13:05Okay.
13:05Do you like jelly donuts?
13:07Never have I ever had.
13:08So I think jelly donuts.
13:10No one has ever smeared peanut butter and jelly all over you and said.
13:18Don't, don't, we're doing, we're doing it.
13:21Stop.
13:22We're keeping kosher here.
13:23I asked what's on everyone's mind.
13:25Everyone's thinking it.
13:26No, not on my mind.
13:27I just said it.
13:27Not on my mind.
13:28Wait, this is exhilarating.
13:30Yeah.
13:30All right, give us, give us the weather.
13:32I got exhilarating.
13:32Take a bite.
13:33Give us the weather, take a bite, and then when we come back to you, we'll see if you're
13:36dead.
13:36All right.
13:37Okay.
13:37So the weather is 60 degrees with a chance of rain in Philadelphia.
13:42Okay.
13:43This is very exciting.
13:44Yeah, I'm waiting for the bite.
13:45Never have I ever.
13:46Like it.
13:48Wait.
13:49Guys, I'm nervous.
13:50I'm nervous too.
13:50If you're going to spit it out.
13:53This is great.
14:04You got to take one more bite because it's your little thing.
14:07What do you think?
14:08Mmm.
14:08Oh.
14:09We're kind of drying, but delicious.
14:12Like I could do this at 12 a.m.
14:14Yeah.
14:14No shit.
14:15Shout out.
14:16It's peanut butter and jelly.
14:17Shout out 12 a.m.
14:18Shout out 12 a.m.
14:19Shout out BB&J.
14:20I get the rave, kind of.
14:23Okay.
14:25Hank likes it a lot.
14:26Yeah.
14:27Shout out Ash.
14:28What if you actually.
14:30What?
14:30Breaking bears.
14:31Yeah, we are.
14:31We're breaking it down.
14:32I love this.
14:33That was huge.
14:34It was really big.
14:35Okay.
14:35All right.
14:35Well, let's see.
14:36Let's make sure that you're not allergic when we come back to you if you have like five.
14:39It's a little more body.
14:42Hannah.
14:42Stat.
14:43Okay.
14:44As an underdog, Bo Nix is just four and seven against the spread, losing his last four starts
14:48straight up and against the spread as an underdog.
14:51Okay.
14:52Boys, let's talk.
14:54I kind of like the under in this game.
14:56It was a good game.
14:57I kind of like the under in this game.
15:00The Eagles offense is low-key dog shit.
15:02They can't get Saquon going.
15:04They can't pass the ball half the time.
15:06They can't on him.
15:07They are.
15:08Keying on him.
15:08And I think the Eagles are good.
15:10They're very good.
15:11They do just enough to win.
15:12If they're winning the game, they're going to run the clock out.
15:15I'm going to take under.
15:16I'm going to take under 43 and a half in this game.
15:18I hate unders, but I'm going to take it.
15:20Jerry.
15:20Yeah.
15:21Something's going on with A.J. Brown.
15:22Cryptic tweets.
15:23He's not getting the ball much.
15:26I like that Broncos defense a lot.
15:28I like the under too, but I'm going to take the Broncos plus three and a half.
15:32I think this is a 2017 type of game.
15:34Okay.
15:35Okay.
15:35Okay.
15:36And I believe in Bo Nix.
15:37You do?
15:37I do.
15:38You're a Bo Lever.
15:39I'm a Bo Lever.
15:40Yes.
15:40You're a Bo Lever.
15:42And Sean Payne is good.
15:43Sean Payne's okay.
15:44He's a good coach.
15:45He's a good coach.
15:45He won a Super Bowl.
15:47He did.
15:47With Drew Brees.
15:48He did.
15:48Okay.
15:49Stu.
15:50I'll take the number here.
15:51I'll take the Broncos plus the points.
15:53Love it.
15:53You both are on the Broncos.
15:55Public's coming in extremely heavily on the Eagles.
15:58Sharps and public money.
16:01I don't like it.
16:01I think it's way, way, way too heavy.
16:04And I also think this line is very small.
16:07I think the Eagles, if they were going to win the game, be like four and a half, five.
16:13So, I'm going to take the three and a half.
16:15And I like the Broncos plus the points.
16:17Okay.
16:17So, Broncos, Broncos, under for me.
16:21Next game.
16:22Bucks and Seahawks out west in Seattle.
16:25We're going to keep a good weather report here.
16:28Ashley, still alive.
16:30Oh, yeah.
16:30I'm feeling well done.
16:32I'm feeling good.
16:33Okay.
16:33You feel okay?
16:34Yeah.
16:35I can't believe this is your first time having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
16:38This is a thrill.
16:39I feel on top of the world.
16:40It's an unbelievable food, snack, sandwich.
16:43What's the next thing that we're going to conquer?
16:46The weather.
16:46It is going to be 61 degrees and sunny in Seattle.
16:52Okay.
16:53Hannah.
16:54Seahawks have now beaten Arizona in eight straight after last week.
16:58Going back to 2018, Seattle is three and seven against the spread in their game directly
17:02after playing Arizona.
17:04I love that stat.
17:06I love that stat.
17:07And I love the Bucks in this game.
17:09Bucks plus three and a half.
17:10Listen, they're a little banged up.
17:11But you know what happened in that game against the Eagles?
17:13What?
17:14That second half, the Bucks' defense, they played really well.
17:17They did.
17:17They shut them down.
17:18If they don't have terrible turnovers, the block punt to start the game, the Bucky Irving
17:23fumble in the second half, the Bucks probably win that game.
17:27And this number is probably on the other side of three.
17:29Would you agree?
17:29Would you concur, Doctor?
17:31I would concur.
17:32Okay.
17:32I would concur that the line is very big.
17:37They're begging you to bet the Bucks, though.
17:38I think.
17:39Oh, no.
17:41Really?
17:41Continue.
17:42Continue.
17:42Okay.
17:42Well, listen.
17:43I'm a big believer in the Bucks.
17:46They might not win this game, but the Bucks find a way.
17:49They're basically the Mario Kart Blue Shell Team of the Year.
17:52I'll put that on.
17:53This is my Mario Blue Shell.
17:55Mario Kart Blue Shell Team of the Year is the Tampa Bay Bucks.
17:59No matter how the game is going, they will always get back into a one possession game
18:03at the end.
18:04What does that do with Mario Kart?
18:05Mario Kart Blue Shell when you hit the front.
18:08Remember?
18:08You get the blue shell and you hit the guy in the front.
18:10I never played it much.
18:11It hit the guy in first and he would go spinning.
18:14Ah.
18:15Oh, okay.
18:15I've seen that.
18:15I've seen that.
18:16Spin around, spin around.
18:17Yeah.
18:17All the Mario.
18:18You could do the lightning.
18:19Like that.
18:19Blue Shell kind of sounds better, wouldn't you say?
18:21I would, yeah.
18:22Here, I'll test them both out.
18:24The Tampa Bay Bucks are my Mario Kart Lightning Bolt Team of the Year.
18:29That sounds better.
18:30The Tampa Bay Bucks are my Mario Kart Blue Shell Team of the Year.
18:34That sounds better.
18:35Okay.
18:35I think it's just whatever I say last you're going to say because your brain's not big enough.
18:39Okay, Stu.
18:40I like Seattle and Skim.
18:42Okay.
18:42I think they're sucking you in to bet the Bucks.
18:44I don't know why the line is so big.
18:46I made this line pick them.
18:48They came out three and a half.
18:49They didn't come out two and a half.
18:50They came out three and a half.
18:52Came out with the hook.
18:52I think a lot of people are going to think, like you just said, Bucks are going to maybe
18:56not win, but they'll definitely cover because they will have the ball and Baker will be driving
19:00down the field.
19:01I'm going to lay the number.
19:02I think it's a hard lay.
19:04I lay the number with Seattle.
19:05Okay.
19:06Jerry?
19:07I'm riding with Stu here, but I'm nervous.
19:11Why?
19:11Because Baker.
19:12Yeah.
19:13He can do it.
19:14He can always do it.
19:15He can always do it.
19:17Oh, my gosh.
19:18I need to get back to 12 and 12.
19:20Well, I need to get back to 500.
19:21Why don't you shoot for higher than that?
19:23Like, I need to get back to a 10 above 500.
19:27I'm 60 above 500.
19:29I've won four.
19:30I wish I had a no play here.
19:33Oh, you want to be a pussy about it?
19:34No, I don't.
19:34Oh, go ahead.
19:35No, Jerry, be a pussy.
19:36Be a pussy.
19:36I'm scared of this game.
19:37No, be a puss.
19:38Be a puss.
19:39Go ahead.
19:39No play it.
19:39I'm going to take the Seahawks, but I'm scared of this game.
19:42You know what I'm going to do?
19:42I'm going to take the Seahawks, and I'm going to take the under two.
19:44I'm going to try to double up this game.
19:45I'm going to try to double up this game.
19:49You went from no play to two plays in the blink of an eye.
19:51Add Kenneth Walker any time touchdown in my card as well.
19:54Add Kenneth Walker.
19:54You know what?
19:55I'll do three plays.
19:55Fuck it.
19:56Yeah.
19:56And you know what?
19:57I'll do four.
19:58Okay.
19:59Bucky Irving any time touchdown score.
20:01Let's try to get four this game.
20:02Are we doing props a lot?
20:03Yeah, we are.
20:04I gave you the 1,000 out of respect.
20:06I lost the bet like a man.
20:07You put this in my card as a man.
20:09As a man.
20:10Bucky and Kenneth Walker.
20:12All right.
20:13Steal of the week.
20:13I'm doing a steal on Bucky Irving.
20:15I'm adding Bucky Irving touchdown to my card.
20:16He's amazing, buddy.
20:17Steal of the week presented by Prime Video.
20:20So good.
20:20New original movie, Play Dirty, streaming now on Prime Video.
20:23If you're looking for your next must-watch action-filled heist movie,
20:27I've got one for you.
20:28Play Dirty is now streaming on Prime Video.
20:31Mark Wahlberg and Lakeith Stanfield team up in this crazy heist movie
20:35that will knock you on your ass.
20:37Mark plays this genius thief, Parker,
20:40who's always 10 steps ahead of everyone else.
20:42And Lakeith is his smooth-talking partner, Graffield.
20:45These guys have insane chemistry.
20:46We're talking classic buddy cop movie magic, but with a fresh twist.
20:50It's directed by Shane Black,
20:52the same guy who gave us Lethal Weapon and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
20:55You already know it's going to be packed with smart-ass one-liners
20:58and wild action scenes.
21:00The whole thing goes down in New York with these guys taking on the mob
21:03in what might be the biggest score of their lives.
21:06It's got the perfect mix of intense action and sharp humor
21:09that will keep you hooked.
21:11Don't sleep on this one.
21:12Stream Play Dirty on Prime Video.
21:14Trust me, you're going to want to see this.
21:16Secret secrets are no fun.
21:17Secret secrets are no fun.
21:18Unless you tell everyone.
21:19I don't know.
21:20We were just talking about it.
21:21What was the secret?
21:23It wasn't a secret.
21:24It was a statement.
21:24What did he say?
21:25Ashley looks so good.
21:27I did not say that.
21:29I did not say that.
21:29Is that how he said it?
21:30I did not say that.
21:31I did not say that.
21:31Or did he say it more inappropriately?
21:32I did not say that.
21:34I did not say that.
21:36Stuart.
21:37Wow.
21:38Ashley looks so good.
21:39I did not say that.
21:40Oh, my gosh, Jerry.
21:40I did not say that.
21:41I did not.
21:42Jerry.
21:43No, that's it.
21:43I don't want to be a dick, but he did add better than Hannah.
21:47I did not say that.
21:48Oh, no.
21:49He said I did not say that.
21:51Jerry.
21:51This is crazy.
21:52So fucked, Jerry.
21:54I'm getting framed here.
21:55Okay.
21:56We're going to take a break.
21:56When we come back, we've got two more games in.
21:59We're back right after this.
22:02We're going to rob an entire country.
22:12The Arintero was an ordinary ship.
22:14Skip it.
22:15No story.
22:15Just tell him about the plan.
22:16I want to know the story.
22:17His treasure.
22:18It'll be in New York tomorrow.
22:19That's plenty.
22:20So you're the criminals that want to help with our mission.
22:23Zack the Mundo.
22:25You're dealing with a different class.
22:28You're out of your league.
22:30Back up, back up.
22:31Sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep.
22:42You know what that is?
22:43Four sweeps.
22:44Week one swept.
22:46Week two swept.
22:47Week three swept.
22:48Last week swept.
22:50Four straight Barstool Specials have won in a row.
22:54In a row.
22:56Eight and four.
22:57Eight and four.
22:57Eight and four.
22:58Eight and four winning record.
22:59Listen, these are the games that I put a paywall up.
23:04These are the games that responsibly you bet for a thousand to a hundred thousand a game.
23:10These are the games I've made my bones since 1983.
23:14Three best bets.
23:16Three best bets.
23:17Three best bets.
23:18And week five.
23:19I have never been more sure, more excited, more ready to go three and oh, three and oh, three and oh, three and oh for you.
23:27Sixty nine dollars.
23:29Favorite number.
23:30Favorite position.
23:31You're going three and oh.
23:33Get over to StuFinder.com.
23:36StuFinder.com.
23:38StuFinder.com.
23:40I just realized I took two touchdown scores and put the under.
23:43Oh, fuck.
23:50All right, here we go.
23:51Barstool Sports Advisors, we are back.
23:53We got two more games.
23:55The Washington Commanders going out west to the L.A. Chargers.
24:00The game is Chargers minus three.
24:03The over-under is 48 and a half.
24:04Is Jaden Daniels playing?
24:06Is Jaden Daniels playing?
24:06As of right now, no.
24:21Anyone?
24:22Anyone?
24:23As of right now, no, right?
24:25Hannah.
24:27What's that?
24:28The Chargers at home against a team coming from Eastern Standard Time are just one in five in their last six games against the spread.
24:36That's weird.
24:36Wow, yeah, that's weird.
24:37That's weird.
24:38Yeah, teams usually don't travel that well.
24:40That's weird.
24:42Ashley.
24:43In L.A., it's going to be 73 degrees and partly cloudy.
24:47Ashley, don't let Jerry break you and Hannah up, okay?
24:50No, we could never break.
24:50That's what he does.
24:51Anytime he sees two women that are friends, he tries to fucking drive a wedge right in front of them.
24:55I love women.
24:56I love women.
24:56And he starts ranking them.
24:58I love women.
24:58He starts calling one of them a bitch.
25:00It's crazy.
25:00I never did that.
25:02No, did not do that.
25:04You love women.
25:06Yep.
25:06I was there when Ashley ate her first meatball.
25:09Oh!
25:09Wow!
25:10We are so bonded.
25:11We?
25:11Yeah, I can't get rid of that.
25:12How many things have you not had?
25:13It was at a dinner.
25:14I know.
25:14It keeps coming unraveled.
25:16I need to write a notes app.
25:18Okay, okay.
25:19Yeah, we should maybe get a whole list that Ashley tries.
25:22That'd be cool.
25:22Yeah.
25:22Once a week, doing the weather, eat something.
25:24We're not putting you on the list.
25:26Chills are going through my body right now.
25:28I don't know whether it's passion or asthma.
25:30I don't know what it is, but it's one of the two.
25:34All right, I'm taking the Chargers in this game.
25:37I'm taking the Chargers minus three.
25:38I don't think Jaden Daniels.
25:39I mean, Jaden Daniels might play, but Terry McLaurin's not going to play.
25:42And that's a big, big deal.
25:44Big.
25:44Big.
25:44So I'm going to take the Chargers minus three.
25:45I think they have a bounce back game.
25:46I saw that Giants-Chargers game.
25:48I should have made that my mortal because I bet that in real life.
25:50I saw that game coming from a mile away.
25:52You saw me.
25:52You did.
25:52I said that.
25:53You said it.
25:53You said it.
25:54Right as we sat down on Sunday, I was like, I think the Giants can win this game.
25:57You said it.
25:58They won that game.
25:59I'm going to take the Chargers here and it bounced back.
26:01Jerry.
26:01I think you're right, Dan.
26:02I think you're right.
26:03I think the Chargers also, I'll say this, I think they're going to run the ball a little bit more
26:07because they didn't run the ball against the Giants.
26:09They only had 13 rushing attempts.
26:11They threw the ball 41 times.
26:12Justin Herbert got his ass kicked.
26:14The Commanders, if you watch that Falcons-Commanders game, the Falcons got whatever they wanted on the ground
26:18against the Commanders.
26:19They were able to run the ball down their throat.
26:21I think you see a lot of Jim Harbaugh, old school, time of possession, pound the rock,
26:26then let Justin Herbert go over the top.
26:28I agree.
26:29Jerry.
26:29I agree.
26:30I think PFT's in a lot of trouble.
26:32This season can get away from them.
26:34Commanders.
26:36Their defense.
26:37The Chargers defense.
26:38I'll say it right now.
26:39By the end of the year, they'll finish with the best defense in the league.
26:42Whoa.
26:43Best defense in the league by the end of the year.
26:45They're going to show up home.
26:47I don't believe in Mariota.
26:48If he's playing Jaden Daniels, is he going to be 100%?
26:50If he plays, probably not.
26:52I'm taking the Chargers.
26:54And I'm also taking the under 48 and a half.
26:57That's too many points.
26:57I don't hate that.
26:59Too many points.
26:59And also, Lad McConkie's going to show up for a while.
27:01Okay.
27:02Show up, Lad.
27:02Okay.
27:03Just show up.
27:03Is that a bet?
27:05No, no.
27:05They're not going to bet.
27:07You know what?
27:08You know what?
27:10Can we plug DraftKings on here?
27:11Yeah.
27:12Please.
27:13We're doing a competition.
27:14I'm not going to say much more.
27:15I'll have a $10,000 bet come Sunday.
27:19Wait.
27:19What's the competition?
27:20Oh.
27:21Are you guys actually finally doing your bet?
27:22Are we?
27:23Wait.
27:23What bet?
27:24What are you talking about?
27:25I paid you already for the $1,000.
27:27No.
27:27The $10,000.
27:28What do you have to do?
27:29Oh.
27:29Riggs.
27:30Riggs is the problem.
27:31Oh.
27:31Riggs.
27:31Also, he bet Europe.
27:33Riggs, listen.
27:34You're a fucking scumbag, bro.
27:36We won $80,000.
27:38Bet the fucking money.
27:39Yeah.
27:39And you know what's crazy?
27:40And the fact that he bet Europe, but didn't you, like, why wouldn't he just do that?
27:43Exactly.
27:43I wouldn't even give a fuck.
27:44Just bet the $80,000.
27:46It's all of our money.
27:47$10,000 to eight people.
27:48$80,000.
27:49This guy wants to place a bet on a minus $175,000, minus $200,000 team, and then hedge the other
27:56side.
27:56What are we doing?
27:57What?
27:58We got $80,000 to work with.
27:59Bet a dog.
28:00Bet a plus $120,000.
28:02Something like that.
28:02Or bet, like, a future.
28:04I'm down with that.
28:05Just bet.
28:05Just bet it.
28:07Just Riggs.
28:07No.
28:07If you're watching, just fucking bet it.
28:09Just fucking bet it.
28:10You're already rich.
28:11You don't need $10,000.
28:13Just bet it.
28:13All right.
28:14So what do you have?
28:16I got the charges.
28:17No, no, no, no.
28:17But what do you have, this $10,000 bet?
28:19It's not.
28:20DraftKings is doing a competition or something like that.
28:21I'm leading off the way with the $10,000 bet.
28:24What's this competition?
28:26It's the largest lottery.
28:28I think we're doing something like that this year.
28:29Come Sunday.
28:30But you get to bet it?
28:31Correct, yes.
28:32You get to bet the $10,000.
28:34Correct.
28:34I think each week somebody gets it, I believe.
28:36Why'd you get it?
28:38That's what Jackie said.
28:39Okay.
28:40I think he's fucking with you.
28:42Dang, goddammit.
28:43I'm sorry to break this.
28:44No, no, no.
28:44He said there's going to be, come Friday, there's going to be $10,000 in my DraftKings.
28:48Then I have to bet on Sunday.
28:49No.
28:49We have 12 people with gear and headlights here.
28:52Yeah, I mean, he's.
28:55That's what he said.
28:57You think that's fake?
28:58I don't know.
28:59We're doing a competition.
29:00Okay.
29:00That is not one person on the floor who knows what you're talking about.
29:03No one.
29:04I was going to put it on lead.
29:06Okay.
29:07All right.
29:07So that's all your cards.
29:09Stu, go ahead.
29:10He lost us all.
29:12It's an earthquake, George!
29:13Oh, no.
29:27That's not good.
29:28Oh, that's sad for the earthquake.
29:30I'm sorry.
29:31Sorry.
29:31I'm sorry.
29:33I like that.
29:36Oh, God.
29:42What's he doing?
29:43What's he doing?
29:46Oh, my God.
29:46I thought it hit him.
29:47Ryan is right there.
29:48Ryan's too close.
29:49It hit him.
29:50Ryan's too close.
29:51What's the glasses?
29:52The glasses, Steve.
29:55He's going to get it.
29:56Two-fister.
29:57Two-fister.
29:58He's going to hurt someone.
29:58He's going to hurt someone this time.
30:00Are you sure you want my two-fister?
30:02Oh, my God.
30:03He hit me in the chair.
30:07All right.
30:07Watch, watch, Stu.
30:10Everyone survives.
30:11Let's go to Sunday Night Football.
30:13Patriots and Bills.
30:14Stu, you are not going to give us a play,
30:16but you are going to tell people where they can go get your plays.
30:19So why don't you say that?
30:20Absolutely.
30:21StuFiner.com.
30:22StuFiner.com.
30:23StuFiner.com.
30:24Now, the games that you pay me for behind the paywall are my best bets.
30:28Games that anywhere between $1,000 to $100,000 people bet a game.
30:32I won week one, one week two, one week three, one last week.
30:36I will win fifth week in a row, plus the side in total in the Sunday night.
30:41Two separate bets, two separate purchases.
30:44Pay me.
30:45StuFiner.com.
30:46StuFiner.com.
30:47Oh, fire!
30:49StuFiner.com.
30:51Okay.
30:51I need to know the weather here because I think I'm going to do something very stupid in this game.
30:55In Buffalo, it's going to be 63 degrees with a chance of rain.
30:58I think I'm going to do something very stupid in this game.
31:00What?
31:01The rain makes me a little nervous.
31:03Hannah, go ahead.
31:04Okay.
31:05In Josh Allen's 14 career starts against the Patriots, he is just 5-9 against the first
31:10half spread, losing five in a row in the first half versus New England.
31:13Okay.
31:18I'm going to do something stupid.
31:19This is probably going to sink me, and I'm probably going to have to put the neck brace
31:22back on.
31:23We're going to have to do the whole thing.
31:24Okay.
31:24Buffalo Bills, over 29 and a half.
31:29Okay.
31:30New England Patriots, over 20 and a half.
31:34Okay.
31:35The game total, over 50 and a half.
31:38Oh, my God.
31:39And the first half, over 25 and a half.
31:41Oh, my God.
31:42This guy is...
31:43I'm going to do it.
31:44I'm going to do it.
31:45I fucking love this game.
31:46I think it's going to be a lot of points.
31:47I think the Patriots' defense is not that good, and they're overrated a little bit with
31:52the Panthers' win, and I know the Bills' defense is not that good, and I think both quarterbacks
31:57can move the ball.
31:59Join me.
32:00Join me.
32:01Points Fiesta.
32:02Points Fiesta.
32:02Points Fiesta.
32:03It's my Points Fiesta Play of the Year.
32:06Points Fiesta.
32:07Yeah.
32:08That sounds good.
32:09I think Dave coined that.
32:10Dave, remember Cum Fiesta, those porns?
32:12I've never seen that.
32:13It was Cum Fiesta.
32:14I'm not a big porn guy, to be honest.
32:15There's just so much cum.
32:16Yeah, I'm not a big porn guy.
32:17Okay.
32:18Jerry.
32:19Yeah, listen.
32:19Look what's on my card already.
32:21Yeah.
32:21I love the Patriots' team total over 20 and a half.
32:23Uh-huh.
32:23I'm taking them plus seven and a half.
32:25Mm-hmm.
32:26Responsibly, if you're at home, don't be afraid to sprinkle Moneyline.
32:30Okay.
32:31Drake May's real.
32:32Okay.
32:32Hank, he's real.
32:33Trust me.
32:34Are you going to be joining me in the Points Fiesta?
32:37I am.
32:37I got the team total.
32:38Okay, but that's not Points Fiesta.
32:40Nope, I'm a little skidding.
32:41You just showed up to my Points Fiesta, and you took, like, one chip.
32:45And you're like, I'm good.
32:46I'm fine.
32:47I'm fine.
32:47So what else do I need for the Points Fiesta?
32:49No, no, no.
32:49I'm not going to force you into my Points Fiesta.
32:51But we're going to have a Points Fiesta on Sunday.
32:52What's the opposite of a Points Fiesta?
32:54I don't fucking know.
32:55I mean, what's going to happen?
32:57Yeah.
32:57Yeah, Points Fiesta.
32:59Yeah, yeah.
32:59Points Fiesta.
32:59Yeah.
33:00But it's going to be a fun Sunday night.
33:01All right, boys, when we come back, mortals.
33:04I've got to get back on track.
33:06I'm one and three.
33:07I'm back.
33:07Stu's two and two.
33:08Jerry's one and three.
33:09We're going to win this week.
33:10Mortals coming back right after this.
33:12Mortals.
33:21Ready to roll, ready to roll, ready to roll.
33:26On Cameo.
33:27Cameo.com slash Stu Finder.
33:30Again, I'm number one in the world.
33:32They have a quarter of a million people that do content.
33:34I'm number one.
33:36I'm number one.
33:37I'm number one.
33:37You know why?
33:38Because whether it's a bachelor party, whether it's a birthday, whether it's an anniversary,
33:45whether it's a graduation, whether you're going on a golf trip, a ski trip, you're going
33:50to Vegas, something to do with fantasy football.
33:53You want to shred someone.
33:55You want to say congratulations.
33:57Whatever it is, you want to send something to a special someone to say, I love you.
34:02I love you.
34:03I love you.
34:04I do a two to five minute message.
34:06I put my heart and soul into it.
34:08I make you laugh.
34:09I make you cry.
34:11I make you cringe.
34:12I make you feel all cuddly.
34:15Cameo.com slash Stu Finder.
34:17Cameo.com slash Stu Finder.
34:20Cameo.com slash Stu Finder.
34:25What's a siesta?
34:26A nap.
34:27A nap.
34:27So you're right.
34:29Wow.
34:29Shoot.
34:30And a quinceanera is when they're 15, right?
34:33Yeah.
34:35The birthday party.
34:36Careful.
34:36It's what the Spanish do.
34:38What's the, it's what the Spanish do?
34:40Yeah.
34:40My girlfriend had a quinceanera.
34:42What that Spanish do?
34:43My daughter will have a quinceanera as well.
34:46Well, maybe not.
34:48Because she's going to be a liberal.
34:50Possibly, yeah.
34:51Honey, I made you cheesesteaks.
34:52What kind?
34:53It's a delicious, original style part of my cheesesteak.
34:57The government doesn't want me to eat these cheesesteaks because it'll give me too much testosterone.
35:04Yep.
35:05Yep.
35:07Yep.
35:08Yep.
35:09This has all the fixings of a pardon my cheesesteak if you're not a vegan.
35:15That boy ain't right.
35:16Pardon my cheesesteak.
35:18Go get yours today.
35:20Barstool Sports Advisors, we are back.
35:23It is time for our mortals.
35:26And it's brought to you by DraftKings NFL fans.
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35:36every touchdown could bring you closer to cashing in.
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36:09In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours.
36:13Okay, boys, mortal time.
36:15Jerry and I got to get on the right side of history.
36:17Got to find a winner.
36:19Got to win a bet.
36:19What are you overall?
36:20We're 1-3.
36:21We're both 1-3.
36:22So this is a huge week.
36:24You cannot go to 1-4.
36:25No, this is the season.
36:26You cannot go to 1-4.
36:27That's the abyss.
36:29Stewart.
36:29I'm going to use the Titans plus the points against the Cardinals.
36:36Very ugly.
36:38Why am I taking a dog shit team plus 7.5?
36:43I think they got a good chance to shock the world.
36:45No.
36:46No one's betting the Titans.
36:48There'll be nobody there but us, guys.
36:50It's going to be us against the world.
36:52It's you and me against the world.
36:54Yeah, there's a lot of things out there.
36:56Yeah, people hate you.
36:57Yeah, people are downtrodden.
36:58People put you down.
36:59They're like, you can't.
37:01You never will.
37:02You're nothing.
37:03Well, we're something and the Titans are going to lead us to the winner's circle.
37:07Love the Titans, my mortal!
37:09I think I saw the stat that Titans are 2-17 in their last 19 games against the spread.
37:15Well, how about this?
37:15They're 3-20.
37:17No, that's not how that works.
37:21If you're 2-19 and you're covered, you'll be 3-20.
37:25With what?
37:25No.
37:26He said 17.
37:27Oh, 17.
37:283-18.
37:28I'm sorry.
37:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:30There'll be 3-18.
37:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:3117.
37:322-17.
37:322-17.
37:333-20.
37:34Now there'll be 3-20.
37:353-20.
37:35There might be a couple losses.
37:37Now there'll be 3-17.
37:39Yeah, but you just gave yourself a couple losses.
37:43I did.
37:44I thought you said 19.
37:45I like this play.
37:46It is dog shit.
37:47It's terrible.
37:48Dog shit.
37:48It's gross.
37:48Hold your nose.
37:49Hold your nose.
37:50Hold your nose.
37:50Hold your nose.
37:52Like a stanky butt.
37:54You still go in, but you hold your nose.
37:56All right.
37:56I'm going to hold my nose, too.
37:57But go ahead, Jerry.
37:58You go first.
37:59Yeah, listen.
37:59The Saints haven't scored over 21 points the whole year.
38:02They're dog shit.
38:04Giants defense will step up.
38:05I believe in Jackson Dart as well.
38:07I like him.
38:07He's fun.
38:08Hmm.
38:08I originally had the over in this game, but I hated it.
38:13So I'm going to go with the Giants.
38:14I think they can win this game outright.
38:15They're plus one and a half.
38:16We're taking the one and a half.
38:18I'm going with the G-men.
38:19I'm riding the G-men as my mortal.
38:20You're going with the G-men.
38:21I am.
38:22I am.
38:23I am.
38:24They're actually plus two and a half.
38:26Went up.
38:26Went up.
38:26There you go.
38:27Went up.
38:27There you go.
38:28Perfect.
38:28All right.
38:29Let's finish off the grossest mortals of all time.
38:33Okay.
38:33Mm-hmm.
38:34Titans.
38:35Giants.
38:35Giants.
38:36Carolina Panthers.
38:38Oh, my God.
38:39Oh, my God.
38:43Carolina Panthers.
38:44Now I want to throw up.
38:45I guess the Miami Dolphins.
38:47Carolina Panthers.
38:48Plus one and a half at home.
38:50The Dolphins shouldn't be favored on the road?
38:53No.
38:53Because they beat the Jets, too?
38:55How does that make any sense?
38:56They look good, Dolphins.
38:57Did they?
38:58Yes.
38:58Tyreek Hill's now out.
39:00I know, but they look good.
39:01But the Dolphins should not be favored on the road after just beating the Jets.
39:05Like, that's crazy.
39:07I know the Panthers are dog shit, but come on.
39:11I concur.
39:11Okay.
39:12So there it is.
39:13That is the ugliest three mortals we've ever done.
39:17Yeah.
39:18We have the Tennessee Titans.
39:19We have the New York Giants.
39:22Mm-hmm.
39:22And the Carolina Panthers.
39:24Can I have an intervention class for a moment?
39:26I need help.
39:27Okay.
39:29I've gained 10 pounds.
39:30Oh.
39:31In the last month.
39:32Okay.
39:33Eating sugar every day.
39:34Yeah.
39:35Smoking every day.
39:36Mm-hmm.
39:37I'm in trouble.
39:38Okay.
39:38Now, for three straight months leading into this, I was squeaky clean.
39:43Walking 60 a day.
39:45No sugar.
39:4660 miles.
39:47Very little carbs.
39:4861.
39:4860 miles a day.
39:49Okay.
39:49A week.
39:50A week.
39:50I was walking 8.8 a day, 60 a week.
39:53Excuse me.
39:53Okay.
39:54Okay.
39:54Now, all I want to do is smoke pot, eat, and make love to my wife and pick winners.
40:00That's it.
40:01All right.
40:01And that's not conducive to my health.
40:03I'll say that you know what?
40:04So I'm going to die.
40:05You don't need an intervention because we started this show.
40:07This is a nice bookend to the show.
40:09I'm going to die.
40:09We started this show.
40:10I'm going to die.
40:11We started this show talking about what?
40:14Brandon Walker walking into the bathroom and seeing your penis.
40:17Seeing my four-inch penis.
40:18Yes.
40:19But guess what?
40:19You said that he locked eyes.
40:21It looks two inches because there's hair in front of it.
40:24Stu.
40:25But it's four-served.
40:26Stu, you said you locked eyes.
40:27What?
40:28His eyes locked eyes with your penis.
40:31Yes.
40:31That means you're not that fat.
40:32And his mouth went open.
40:33His mouth went open.
40:34That means you're not that fat because your stomach isn't covering up your penis.
40:38You're fine.
40:38My hair is covering up half the most.
40:40Yeah, exactly.
40:41You're fine.
40:41Stu Finder is fine.
40:42He's the living legend.
40:43Shout out Cherub.
40:45I'm a Cherub.
40:46What's that?
40:46It's like one of those giant, fat Catholic people that have big bellies and they have
40:51wings.
40:52Cherub?
40:53Cherub.
40:54Oh, Cherub.
40:55Yeah, yeah, I know what you're saying.
40:56Like Sistine Chapel.
40:57Yeah, you have a bunch of those dolls in your house.
40:59Yes, I'm Cherub.
40:59Fucking freak.
41:00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:00I know those.
41:01You do.
41:02You have a bunch of them.
41:03I do.
41:04Shout out Christ.
41:04Shout out Cherubs.
41:06Shout out Cherubs.
41:06Shout out Christ.
41:07All right.
41:08Shout out to Stu Finder.
41:08May Christ be with you.
41:09We will be back for week six, Barstool Sports Advisors.
41:14Great show.
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