- 2 days ago
Member of a village Purity League branch find things much livelier on a trip to London.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The End
00:00:30THE END
00:01:00THE END
00:01:30THE END
00:02:00The proceedings, as usual, will open with the song of the League.
00:02:13Miss Featherwell.
00:02:14We are members of the League of Purity, League of Purity, League of Purity.
00:02:31Join the League, if you're for purity, in this wicked land.
00:02:38No one purer could you find, pure in body, pure in mind.
00:02:47We are members of the League of Purity, join our happy band.
00:02:56We are members of the League of Purity, League of Purity, League of Purity.
00:03:04Join the League, if you're for purity, in this wicked land.
00:03:12No one purer could you find, pure in body, pure in mind.
00:03:21We are members of the League of Purity, join our happy band.
00:03:29Men and women of Dumpton, my nephew, Lord Pye, has news for you.
00:03:40As your landlord, you owe him a debt of gratitude.
00:03:44Three years ago, this village was in a state of sin.
00:03:47Yes!
00:03:47Then I joined my nephew's household, and everything was altered.
00:03:51Shame!
00:03:53I am proud to claim that from that date, the demon alcohol has been banished from our village.
00:04:01With him, his confederates, frivolity, and worldliness.
00:04:06Yes!
00:04:07I at least am happy.
00:04:09Shame!
00:04:10Yes!
00:04:11Happy in the knowledge that not only have I made Dumpton see the error of its ways, but Lord Pye himself.
00:04:22Lord Pye will now speak to you.
00:04:25Move it.
00:04:26My friends, my pure friends, tonight is the annual convention of our glorious League.
00:04:42In the name of our village, I shall attend it.
00:04:45The convention is to be held in Birmingham, a worldly city of lights, of music, of temptation.
00:04:56And as your representative, I shall attend it.
00:05:00To give me strength in the battle, I shall take with me my old friend, my shield and buckler,
00:05:07our secretary, Rupert Boddy, the purest of us all, all of us excepting my Uncle Samson.
00:05:16Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for your attention.
00:05:23I have a statement to make that will convince our members that if ever the League of Purity was justified,
00:05:29it is at this moment.
00:05:30Upon our recent inspection of the village school, while examining the lockers of Standard Seven,
00:05:38to see if they were tidy, to my horror, I found this.
00:05:44A photograph of a young female, most insufficiently clad.
00:05:50Wilfrid.
00:05:51Good.
00:05:53Gracious.
00:05:54She appears to be a cabaret dancer.
00:05:56May I look?
00:05:57Certainly not.
00:05:59Wilfrid give that to me.
00:06:00Oh, yes.
00:06:01Women of Dumpton, look and blush.
00:06:05Men of Dumpton.
00:06:09No, you'd better not look.
00:06:11It may appeal to some people, but to us of the Purity League, it is disgusting.
00:06:16Revolting.
00:06:17Unsettling.
00:06:18Offensive.
00:06:19Oh, frightful.
00:06:20Hello, Linda.
00:06:41You will get a tummy ache if you eat chocolate while you're swimming.
00:06:44No, I shan't.
00:06:45And don't you be a bully.
00:06:46I have to be, darling.
00:06:47That's what stepmothers are for.
00:06:49Anyway, I'm not swimming.
00:06:51See what I've got here.
00:06:52Where did you get that?
00:06:53Aren't you proud of your daughter?
00:06:55Of course, darling.
00:06:56I think it's a swindle.
00:06:58Here's the famous Benita, my own stepsister, with probably hundreds of gorgeous men she
00:07:03could introduce me to, and I've never even met her.
00:07:05My dear, I don't tell your father she's an actress.
00:07:08Are you going to pretend she lives in Canada forever?
00:07:10I may have to.
00:07:12If he knew Benita's my daughter...
00:07:14He's for a fist.
00:07:15Oh, your father's all right.
00:07:16If it weren't for great-uncle Samson.
00:07:18He can never forget he was his guardian.
00:07:33Wilfred.
00:07:34Yes?
00:07:35Oh, pardon, uncle.
00:07:36Well, peace be on this house.
00:07:40Be careful, darling.
00:07:43Oh, here's your father and Uncle Samson.
00:07:45So it is.
00:07:45The joy boys are here.
00:07:48See you later, darling.
00:07:49I'm not staying to bejeweled at by great-uncle Samson.
00:07:51Kiss the old body for me.
00:07:57Back so soon.
00:07:58How are you, Mr. Body?
00:08:00Oh, topping, topping.
00:08:01My dear, why was Phyllis not at the meeting?
00:08:03Surely she realizes that a good example of her...
00:08:06...counts so much for the village.
00:08:07As a girl guide, she has her responsibilities.
00:08:11Phyllis!
00:08:14Phyllis!
00:08:15Phyllis!
00:08:18She appears to have submerged.
00:08:22Phyllis!
00:08:23Come up at once.
00:08:24Can you see her?
00:08:26No, but I can see something floating in the water.
00:08:28Look, it's most peculiar.
00:08:31Oh, it's the reflection of your face.
00:08:33Don't talk nonsense.
00:08:34That's a jellyfish.
00:08:35No.
00:08:36Well, it's the first jellyfish I've seen with a top hat on.
00:08:40Hello.
00:08:40What are you two doing?
00:08:41Looking for tiddlers?
00:08:42Do I look like a man who'd look for tiddlers?
00:08:44How are you, Mr. Body?
00:08:46Thank you, in rude help.
00:08:48I beg your pardon.
00:08:49Did you have a nice meeting, dear?
00:08:51Excellent.
00:08:53You went out without a hitch.
00:08:55Most enjoyable.
00:08:56Yes.
00:08:58I think I spoke rather forcibly, don't you, Uncle?
00:09:00Wilfred, you shook them.
00:09:02I thought so.
00:09:02Especially in the third row.
00:09:04My dear, we have news for you.
00:09:06Really?
00:09:06Yes.
00:09:07Tonight he leaves us to attend the purity convention at Birmingham.
00:09:10Accompanied by Rupert.
00:09:11How nice for both of you.
00:09:16Linda, what is this immoral publication doing here?
00:09:19Yes, indeed.
00:09:20What is it doing here?
00:09:21It's mine, and don't bully Linda.
00:09:23Phyllis, refer to your stepmother more respectfully.
00:09:26And another thing, your swimming costume.
00:09:28What's wrong with it?
00:09:30Wilfred, tell her.
00:09:32Your great uncle is right.
00:09:33It is no better than this cabaret dancers.
00:09:36I think she's lovely.
00:09:38Wilfred, will you deal with this?
00:09:40She thinks it's lovely.
00:09:40Oh, you do, do you?
00:09:42So I come back from fighting the cause of purity against this very object,
00:09:46only to find it lurking in my own home like a...
00:09:49Like a...
00:09:50Adder?
00:09:51Like a...
00:09:52Adder.
00:09:53I come back exhausted for my own daughter to turn upon me like a serpent in my...
00:09:57Posom?
00:09:58Really, body, please.
00:10:00Chest.
00:10:01So you consider this shameless exhibition admirable, do you?
00:10:05Well, I do not.
00:10:06I think it is the most...
00:10:07Revolting.
00:10:08Shocking.
00:10:09Decadent.
00:10:10Unprincipled.
00:10:10Nauseating.
00:10:11Offensive.
00:10:12Abominable exhibition I have ever seen.
00:10:14My name is the West to son of a小時.
00:10:17We will have ever seen it for you, but I see it in my house.
00:10:18Here we are.
00:10:19Here we are.
00:10:20Here we need that.
00:10:21All I have now is to be here.
00:10:22Here we are.
00:10:27Here we are.
00:10:27My dear pie, my dear body.
00:10:57This is where we shall stand.
00:11:01But why here?
00:11:02It is our duty to the League.
00:11:04The amount of immorality that goes on in Dumpton
00:11:06is entirely inadequate to men of our calibre.
00:11:09But this is different. Here we shall find real scope.
00:11:12But what about the Birmingham Convention?
00:11:14Oh, it can't be helped.
00:11:16It was your fault we missed the train at Houston.
00:11:18In a way, yes, but believe me, everything is for the best.
00:11:22There you are. Give your bag to the plotter.
00:11:25Yes, sir.
00:11:26If we'd gone to Birmingham, we should never have known what is going on here.
00:11:34But, uh, why must we stay here?
00:11:36To convince ourselves of the full extent of this shameless exhibition.
00:11:40I have never seen such bare...
00:11:43...deffrontery.
00:11:45Good evening, gentlemen.
00:11:46Good evening, good evening.
00:11:47Have you any...
00:11:50What is that?
00:11:51Bonita, the big cabaret star. It's her last night here, sir.
00:11:54Good evening.
00:11:55Come, Rupert.
00:11:57My romantic education was sadly neglected
00:12:21Till you came along and taught me all you knew
00:12:31You were such a revelation and things I never suspected
00:12:37Have suddenly dawned on me
00:12:43At last I have found the key
00:12:49Once I wondered why lovers love to crew
00:12:58Every delightful night in June
00:13:03Now I understand
00:13:07Never knew why the night wind sighed till dawn
00:13:15Until the last bright star has gone
00:13:21Now I understand
00:13:25Always wondered why the very first approach of spring
00:13:32Made each rose but smile in glorious awakening
00:13:40Love no longer will be a mystery
00:13:54It's clear
00:13:57It's clear
00:13:59Because you are here
00:14:03And now I
00:14:07Once I wondered why lovers love to crew
00:14:15Every delightful night in June
00:14:21Now I understand
00:14:27Never knew why the night wind sighed till dawn
00:14:33Until the last bright star has gone
00:14:38Until the last bright star has gone
00:14:40Until the last bright star has gone
00:14:42Always wondered why the very first approach of spring
00:14:52Made each rose but sigh in glorious awakening
00:15:01Love no longer will be a mystery
00:15:11A mystery
00:15:21It's clear
00:15:23Because you are here
00:15:25Because you are here
00:15:27And now
00:15:31And now
00:15:35And now
00:15:37And now
00:16:00Flowers more flowers for the beautiful Mademoiselle Benita
00:16:03That'll be the fifth lot tonight
00:16:04What does it matter?
00:16:05I adore her
00:16:07White carnations.
00:16:10Clark.
00:16:11Yes, sir.
00:16:12Quite a jollification going on.
00:16:14Yes, a sort of send-off to Benito.
00:16:16She's going to America.
00:16:17Oh, surely this is not her last appearance here this evening.
00:16:19Oh, no, sir.
00:16:20She comes on again later.
00:16:21Ah.
00:16:22Yes.
00:16:23We require a suite.
00:16:24Certainly, sir.
00:16:25We have one on the second floor.
00:16:26The Madame Pompadour suite.
00:16:28I'll take that.
00:16:29Page.
00:16:31The Pompadour suite.
00:16:33Come along.
00:16:34Don't gape, man.
00:16:35Sign.
00:16:36Your real name.
00:16:38It's no use hanging low.
00:16:40Only in the highest circles does the devil really come into his own.
00:16:43That reminds me, we must fight him with his own weapons.
00:16:45Uh, Clark.
00:16:46Yes, sir.
00:16:46Where is the flower counter?
00:16:47Just over here, sir.
00:16:48Oh.
00:16:49Come along the room.
00:16:52We'll go to our suite later.
00:16:54Five guineas, sir.
00:16:55Ah, here we are.
00:16:56The very thing.
00:16:57One for you and one for me.
00:16:58Monsieur, you steal my flowers.
00:17:01Well, but you don't allow this man to talk to you like that.
00:17:03It isn't me he's talking to.
00:17:04It's you.
00:17:05But I don't know the fellow.
00:17:06Those are the count's flowers, sir.
00:17:08You are robbing a beautiful woman.
00:17:09Oh, he thinks he's a beautiful woman.
00:17:12Your pardon, madame.
00:17:14Come, Rupert.
00:17:15Should I charge those, sir?
00:17:17Certainly.
00:17:17What name?
00:17:19Madame Pompadour.
00:17:20Good evening, your lordship.
00:17:26Good evening.
00:17:27You will see your suite, yes?
00:17:28Yes, if you please.
00:17:29If you please.
00:17:31Come.
00:17:31Let Miss Bonita have this at once, please.
00:17:42Your pleasure, Madame.
00:17:43And I shall acquire a room.
00:17:44Certainly, Madame.
00:17:46Bonita!
00:17:48Linda!
00:17:49Darling, I'm so glad to see you.
00:17:52Why didn't you tell me you were coming?
00:17:53I didn't know, dear.
00:17:56You have something to tell me.
00:17:59And how's my stepfather?
00:18:00Very well.
00:18:01Good.
00:18:02Horribly.
00:18:03Oh.
00:18:03I'll call you in a moment, Helen.
00:18:06Yes, ma'am.
00:18:06Now, you will stay and see me off on the boat in the morning.
00:18:08Calm, darling.
00:18:09Possibly.
00:18:09I must be home in the morning.
00:18:10Oh, no.
00:18:14Mother, darling.
00:18:17My dear, what gilded splendor.
00:18:19Ah.
00:18:20Very nice.
00:18:21Very nice.
00:18:22I hope your lordship will behave just as if it was your own home.
00:18:28Well, yes and no.
00:18:33When the mouse is away from the cat, he will play.
00:18:49Valet.
00:18:50Your lordship.
00:18:51You lay our evening clothes out, please.
00:18:53Potter.
00:18:54Your lordship.
00:18:55Help the valet.
00:18:56Waiter.
00:18:57Your lordship.
00:18:57Bring us two cocktails, please.
00:18:59Dry ones.
00:19:00Rieti.
00:19:00Will you reserve me a table for supper, please, next to the cabaret?
00:19:06I know you can't help it, and I'm not going to bully you,
00:19:09but it's awful seeing you only once in a blue moon.
00:19:11I know it is.
00:19:13Oh, and just because the great Uncle Samson has a nasty mind,
00:19:17just because the girls on the stage doesn't mean it.
00:19:19Valet, darling.
00:19:20Well.
00:19:22How'd you manage to sneak away?
00:19:24Wilfred's attending a purity convention at Birmingham.
00:19:26Rupert, we have men's work to do.
00:19:29I can't help feeling well wrong in being in such a palace of sin.
00:19:39Not even from the highest motives.
00:19:41Oh, does that make it different?
00:19:43Of course it does.
00:19:45One day, Rupert Buddy, you will thank me.
00:19:48What an opportunity for one who has the cause of purity at heart.
00:19:53Come, come, come.
00:19:53Come, come.
00:19:54Come.
00:19:54Come.
00:19:54Come.
00:19:59Oh, aren't they lovely, Helen?
00:20:07Who are they from?
00:20:08Mr. Ellison and Count Duval.
00:20:10Count Duval, send those with the rest to the hospital in the morning.
00:20:14I'll arrange these.
00:20:16Oh, are they both there?
00:20:17Benita, who's Mr. Ellison?
00:20:26Jimmy.
00:20:28He's a dear.
00:20:30So good looking.
00:20:31Indeed.
00:20:33Oh, and terribly rich.
00:20:35Is he?
00:20:36I feel rather sorry for him.
00:20:37He wants me to marry him.
00:20:38Well, dear, if he's so rich...
00:20:40Oh, Mommy, you're a wicked old woman.
00:20:43I'm so happy I could burst.
00:20:45Come on, I want you to meet both of them.
00:20:47Benita, wait a minute.
00:20:49Who is Count Duval?
00:20:50Oh, you needn't worry.
00:20:51He's only a mascot.
00:20:55Hello, Jimmy.
00:20:56Hello there.
00:20:57Everybody, meet everybody.
00:20:58Count Duval, Jimmy Ellison, my mother, Lady Pye.
00:21:00Mother?
00:21:02I don't believe it.
00:21:03It's a dastardly lie.
00:21:05My dear, what a nice man.
00:21:06Isn't he sweet?
00:21:07You're so divine.
00:21:09So beautiful.
00:21:10So cruel.
00:21:11Yeah, none of that.
00:21:12I shan't let you carry my makeup box.
00:21:13Oh, Mademoiselle, you have no heart.
00:21:15No.
00:21:15I don't believe all your sister says.
00:21:17Sister?
00:21:18Benita, he's charming.
00:21:20Isn't he marvelous?
00:21:21Oh, let me help you, Benita.
00:21:22Jimmy, dear, you take Mother down.
00:21:23I'll join you after the show and all have supper together.
00:21:25Right there.
00:21:26Cheerio.
00:21:26I also have a table for you and me.
00:21:28Uh-uh.
00:21:29One table's enough, thank you.
00:21:30Count?
00:21:54I'm very sorry, your lordship, but this is the very best I can do at the moment.
00:22:22I say fine. Quiet. Jimmy, I must go. Oh, don't go yet. Benita's just going to sing. I know, but I can't stay. Please, Jimmy.
00:22:39Ariety, you can have my table now if you want. Yes, please.
00:22:42I have now a much better table. Oh, good. Come, Rupert.
00:22:52Please. Thank you. Oh, yeah. That's much better.
00:23:17Mr. Jell. Monsieur. Do you serve champagne here? Certainly, my lord.
00:23:21It's worse than I thought. Bring two bottles, please.
00:23:24At once, my lord. But I say fine.
00:23:26Quiet, please. We must see if he is speaking the truth.
00:24:00Way back in another generation, long before our present civilization, one of my ancestors lived in a cave.
00:24:11Though to look at me, you'd never know it. Since we met, I'm starting to show it.
00:24:16Here's my excuse every time I misbehave.
00:24:20My blood boils with the tropic heat, and the rhythm of my heart is a tom-tom beat, for you bring out the savage in me.
00:24:31Primitive love cries reach my ears with the passion of a hundred million years, for you bring out the savage in me.
00:24:42Oh, call it madness or sin, how was I to know what was sleeping within me?
00:24:53Just like Tarzan, just like Tarzan, you'll be my ape, man. I'm getting so ferocious and you can't escape, man.
00:24:59You'll find out how wild I can be, cause you'll wake up the savage in me.
00:25:08My blood boils with the tropic heat, and the rhythm of my heart is a tom-tom beat, for you bring out the savage in me.
00:25:26Primitive love cries reach my ears with the passion of a hundred million years, for you bring out the savage in me.
00:25:42Oh, call it madness or sin, how was I to know what was sleeping within me?
00:25:52Just like Tarzan, you'll be my ape, man. I'm getting so ferocious and you can't escape, man.
00:26:00You'll find out how wild I can be, cause you'll bring out the savage in me.
00:26:22I'm getting so ferocious and you'll be my ape, man. I'm getting so ferocious and you'll be my ape.
00:26:26I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious and I'm getting so ferocious.
00:28:08Well, what did you think of that?
00:28:10I liked it.
00:28:11You liked it?
00:28:12Didn't you?
00:28:13Certainly not.
00:28:14Certainly not.
00:28:15I was dreadfully shocked.
00:28:16Why, just now you were applauding like anything.
00:28:18Like this.
00:28:20Oh, no, no.
00:28:21What I did was this.
00:28:23I raised my hands to heaven in horror at such an exhibition.
00:28:26Oh, was that it?
00:28:28Yes, that was it.
00:28:29Then why did you shout bravo?
00:28:31Oh, that was in disgust.
00:28:33Couldn't you tell that?
00:28:35I didn't shout bravo like everybody else.
00:28:37Oh, no.
00:28:38I shouted bravo.
00:28:39Sarcastically.
00:28:40Oh, was that it?
00:28:41Yes, that was it.
00:28:42Monsieur.
00:28:43Go away.
00:28:44You take my beautiful flower.
00:28:45Yes.
00:28:46You call me a madame.
00:28:47Yes.
00:28:48You steal the keepsake of the lady I love.
00:28:49No.
00:28:50My card.
00:28:51I don't want your card.
00:28:52Go away.
00:28:53Now, what makes you think he's looking for you?
00:28:54What other possible reason could there be?
00:28:55Benita, he's followed me.
00:28:56Oh, nonsense.
00:28:57She's probably staying here.
00:28:58Yes, of course.
00:28:59Oh, hello.
00:29:00Can you tell me, is Lord Pye staying here?
00:29:02Oh.
00:29:03Oh.
00:29:04Hello.
00:29:05Can you tell me, is Lord Pye staying here?
00:29:07Oh.
00:29:08Oh.
00:29:09Oh.
00:29:10Oh.
00:29:11Oh.
00:29:12Oh.
00:29:13Oh.
00:29:14Oh.
00:29:15Oh.
00:29:16Oh.
00:29:17Oh.
00:29:18Oh.
00:29:19Oh.
00:29:20Oh, Henker.
00:29:22Are you all right, my dear?
00:29:23He is staying here.
00:29:24And he's got the pompadour suite.
00:29:25Oh, he has, has he?
00:29:26That shows he's not after you, Linda.
00:29:27Then who is he after?
00:29:28He ought to be in Birmingham.
00:29:29And who's the funny little man with him?
00:29:30Mr. Boddy.
00:29:31Oh.
00:29:32They both ought to be in Birmingham.
00:29:33Answer that, Jimmy.
00:29:34Now, now, now.
00:29:35You're quite safe here.
00:29:36Hello, Mr. Boddy.
00:29:37Mr. Boddy.
00:29:38Oh.
00:29:39They both ought to be in Birmingham.
00:29:40Answer that, Jimmy.
00:29:41Now, now, now.
00:29:42You're quite safe here.
00:29:43Hello.
00:29:44Mr. Boddy.
00:29:45Oh.
00:29:46Mr. Boddy.
00:29:47Someone for you, darling.
00:29:48Oh, I will see no more victims of my fatal beauty tonight.
00:29:52Miss Benita will see no more victims of her fatal beauty tonight.
00:29:54Don't say that, you fool.
00:29:55I know who it is.
00:29:56Oh, will you ask him his name, please?
00:29:57What name shall I say?
00:29:58I'm begging you a pardon?
00:29:59What's your name?
00:30:00Name?
00:30:01Oh, Lord Pye.
00:30:02Lord Pye.
00:30:03Lord Pye wishes to see Miss Benita.
00:30:04I knew it.
00:30:05To see me?
00:30:06Yes.
00:30:07And what shall I say?
00:30:08Send him up.
00:30:09Linda.
00:30:10Are you mad?
00:30:11Do as I tell you.
00:30:12All right.
00:30:13Send him up.
00:30:14Send him up.
00:30:15All right.
00:30:16Send him up.
00:30:17Send him up.
00:30:18Hey.
00:30:19Yes.
00:30:20What shall I say?
00:30:21Send him up.
00:30:22Linda.
00:30:23Are you mad?
00:30:24Do as I tell you.
00:30:25All right.
00:30:26Send him up.
00:30:28all right send him up you have to go up three or one third floor thank you you're welcome
00:30:37well good night robert good night my old man
00:30:46night robert good night old fellow
00:30:51i say fine are you trying to get rid of me now listen robert it wouldn't be fair to this young
00:30:57person to try to rescue her before a third party oh all right uh but you will be strong won't you
00:31:02wilfred i shall appeal to her conscience and lead her back to the path of virtue i wonder what you
00:31:07say when she knows what you've come for that i shall gently in the morning in the meantime rupert
00:31:11to work what can i do go forth into the streets and wave the banner of purity where do you suggest
00:31:17that i should wave it my old man well i think a nightclub would be the best place a waiter my
00:31:24friend wishes to visit a nightclub do you know of any one or two your lordship but i say pie
00:31:30which do you recommend well just at present my lord the best place is the devil's kitchen
00:31:35the devil's kitchen a hot spot warmish my lord it used to be called up in mabel's room if you remember
00:31:44quite a grand field for action is it unique might rupert have a care the streets of london
00:31:50hold pitfalls for such as you what do you mean such as me fragile souls that bruise easily from
00:31:56paradise to purgatory is but a step so rupert watch your step
00:32:03oh excuse me oh it's you is it bonsoir monsieur i beg your pardon bonsoir monsieur when you say that
00:32:18to me smile i beg your pardon bonsoir monsieur i beg your pardon
00:32:22oh you beg your pardon
00:32:24which floor sir there's miss venita
00:32:35i understand sir
00:32:36you
00:33:06Pleased to meet you.
00:33:08I'd like you to meet you.
00:33:10Mademoiselle Benita.
00:33:13Entrez.
00:33:14Merci.
00:33:17Poor Mademoiselle Benita.
00:33:20Avec mes félicitations.
00:33:22OK, sir.
00:33:24What shall I say?
00:33:26Let him talk and find out exactly how much he knows.
00:33:29Come in.
00:33:32From Lord Pymus.
00:33:33Pleased to meet you.
00:33:39Delighted to meet you.
00:33:42Haven't we met before, sir?
00:33:44No.
00:33:48So, you are Lord Pymus.
00:33:51Yes.
00:33:52This is a surprise.
00:33:53Am I?
00:33:54I mean, is it?
00:33:55Yes, I expected someone much older.
00:33:58Older?
00:33:58And less military-looking.
00:34:01Military-looking.
00:34:02Yes.
00:34:02Well, tell me, how old do you think I am?
00:34:0630.
00:34:06No.
00:34:07No?
00:34:08Oh, 35.
00:34:10No.
00:34:11Oh, you can't be 40.
00:34:13Certainly not.
00:34:1438 last February.
00:34:16Last February.
00:34:17Last June.
00:34:21Cigarette?
00:34:22Oh, thank you.
00:34:23You know, you don't look a day over 30.
00:34:26Oh, my dear child, I have a daughter of 18.
00:34:29Oh, you must have married very young.
00:34:31Oh, I did.
00:34:32I did.
00:34:32And I have a stepdaughter about the same age as yourself.
00:34:36Oh, you have?
00:34:37Yes.
00:34:37How did you do it?
00:34:38Oh, I didn't do it.
00:34:39I mean, naturally, I had nothing to do with that.
00:34:42But it just goes to show, doesn't it?
00:34:44It does?
00:34:45Yes.
00:34:45And this stepdaughter, does she live with you?
00:34:48Oh, no.
00:34:48I've never seen her.
00:34:49No, she's in Canada.
00:34:51Oh, in Canada.
00:34:52Yes.
00:34:53Did you like my dance?
00:34:58Oh, I loved it.
00:34:59You weren't shocked or anything?
00:35:00Shocked?
00:35:01Why?
00:35:01Well, I mean the costume.
00:35:03There wasn't much of it.
00:35:04Well, if it comes to that, in the summer I leave off my woolies, too.
00:35:08Now?
00:35:11You know, these flowers must have cost you a fortune.
00:35:13Oh, a mere nothing.
00:35:14A mere nothing.
00:35:17Oh, whatever's this.
00:35:19Whatever's what?
00:35:20Oh, how very sweet of you.
00:35:25What sweet of me?
00:35:26Just a little surprise in the middle.
00:35:28What surprise in the middle?
00:35:30Oh, that, yes.
00:35:32Yes, I thought you'd be surprised at that.
00:35:35What's the matter?
00:35:36How perfectly sweet of you.
00:35:39Yes, but I haven't been any sweeter, have I?
00:35:42Now, you know you have.
00:35:44Oh, it's beautiful.
00:35:45And I never knew it was there.
00:35:47No, neither did I.
00:35:48I mean, do you like it?
00:35:50I love it, don't you?
00:35:51I don't know.
00:35:52Let me see.
00:35:53No, I don't like it.
00:35:54I don't like it at all.
00:35:56Oh, but you chose it.
00:35:56I know it looked all right in the shop, but now I don't like it.
00:35:59You better give it back to me.
00:36:00Oh, but why?
00:36:01Because they made it all wrong.
00:36:03How?
00:36:04Well, you see, I told the jeweler to make it for your right hand, and he's, and your
00:36:08left hand, and he's made it for your right.
00:36:09Oh, but that doesn't matter.
00:36:11Oh, yes, it does.
00:36:11You can't wear a right-handed ring on a left-handed finger.
00:36:14Can't I?
00:36:14No, no, of course not.
00:36:16I don't think I can accept it.
00:36:18You can't?
00:36:19No, I've never accepted jewelry from a man before.
00:36:21No, but of course, in that case...
00:36:22But as it's you, it's different.
00:36:24Yes, I thought it might be.
00:36:26And as it means so much to you...
00:36:28It does.
00:36:28I'm going to let you give it to me after all.
00:36:30Oh, thank you so much.
00:36:32Isn't it the dearest thing?
00:36:33I'll bet it is.
00:36:34Do you know what you're going to get for this?
00:36:36About six months, I should think.
00:36:42Oh, I must put these lovely flowers in water.
00:36:49Come in.
00:36:54Oh.
00:36:58Monsieur, my card.
00:37:01Your card?
00:37:02I don't want your card.
00:37:03What is it you want?
00:37:05My flowers.
00:37:05You can't have them.
00:37:06I haven't finished with them yet.
00:37:08Besides, what do you mean by hiding things in flowers?
00:37:10That ring must have cost a fortune.
00:37:13250 pounds.
00:37:14How much?
00:37:15An insignificant token of my esteem.
00:37:17Well, you've no right to go around giving girls insignificant tokens of your esteem worth 250 pounds.
00:37:22It's men like you that get men like me into trouble.
00:37:25You pay me the money or I call the police.
00:37:27Now, my dear man, do be reasonable.
00:37:28How can I find 250 pounds at this time of night?
00:37:31That, monsieur, is your business, not mine.
00:37:42Do I keep the money, yes?
00:37:44Or do I give you to the police?
00:37:46No, don't do that.
00:37:48Let's discuss this quietly.
00:37:49Certainly.
00:37:50I said quietly.
00:37:52Will you excuse us?
00:37:53My friend doesn't feel very well.
00:37:55I am very well.
00:37:56Nonsense, my dear fellow.
00:37:58You were never near a death.
00:38:00You could have knocked me down with a feather.
00:38:02So he doesn't know I'm here.
00:38:04No, of course not.
00:38:04If he did, he'd run a mile.
00:38:06He and his purity league.
00:38:08It's not his fault.
00:38:09But he has a chance to make him tell Uncle Samson to go to Birmingham.
00:38:15Come in.
00:38:19Was that him?
00:38:20It was.
00:38:21The old black heart.
00:38:23Don't you worry, I'll take care of him.
00:38:25What are you going to do, take him on the boat and push him overboard?
00:38:27Oh, no.
00:38:28My American trip is postponed.
00:38:30Good.
00:38:31Oh, well, I never really wanted to spend my honeymoon in America.
00:38:34Oh, who said anything about a honeymoon?
00:38:36No.
00:38:37Still, there might be if you do something for me.
00:38:40Oh, is that all?
00:38:41Mother-in-law, come and stay with us.
00:38:43Wait a minute, wait.
00:38:45Tell me, how do you stand with the girls in the cabaret?
00:38:47Well, a fellow can't help having natural charm.
00:38:50I know you suffer like that.
00:38:51But if you were to offer them a day in the country, would they come?
00:38:54Yeah, I should be killed in the rush.
00:38:56Right.
00:38:56That's your job.
00:38:57Now get to it.
00:38:59Ten minutes.
00:39:00We'll return my ring.
00:39:01If you will, stay down here.
00:39:03Ten minutes.
00:39:04Ten minutes.
00:39:05Ten minutes and not one minute longer.
00:39:08Where do you want me to take these girls?
00:39:11Dumpton.
00:39:12What ever for?
00:39:13To do some missionary work.
00:39:14Oh, yes.
00:39:15Don't worry, I shall be there, darling.
00:39:17At Dumpton?
00:39:18Yeah.
00:39:19But great-uncle Samson.
00:39:21Oh, don't worry about great-uncle Samson.
00:39:24My middle name is Delilah.
00:39:28I'm going to borrow your lord and master for an hour or two.
00:39:32What are you going to do?
00:39:34I'm going to show him the pretty lights.
00:39:37I'm going to take him around the town and around and around and around and around.
00:39:41I'm going to show the world exactly what the great Lord Wilfrid Pye looks like when he thinks nobody's watching him.
00:39:48And I hope every one of his killjoy friends sees him.
00:39:54Good luck, darling.
00:40:04Let's take a peek.
00:40:05Oh, it's you.
00:40:09Yes, it's me.
00:40:10I hope I haven't kept you waiting.
00:40:12Now, I wonder if I dare...
00:40:14Dare what?
00:40:16Ask you to have a little supper.
00:40:18Oh, I wish you had mentioned it sooner.
00:40:20Why?
00:40:20I've got a date.
00:40:21Oh, put him off.
00:40:23Shall I?
00:40:23Do.
00:40:24Oh, I really can't refuse you.
00:40:26You can't?
00:40:27I simply can't.
00:40:28Then you'll come?
00:40:29Yes.
00:40:29Then off we go.
00:40:31Fair sir.
00:40:32Fair lady.
00:40:41Monsieur, your name.
00:40:42I wish to know your name.
00:40:44My card.
00:40:51Where shall we go?
00:40:51Anywhere, everywhere.
00:40:53What shall we do?
00:40:53It's me, the champagne.
00:40:59What shall we do?
00:41:27THE END
00:41:57THE END
00:42:27THE END
00:42:57THE END
00:43:27THE END
00:43:29THE END
00:43:31THE END
00:43:33THE END
00:43:35THE END
00:43:37THE END
00:43:39THE END
00:43:41THE END
00:43:43THE END
00:43:47THE END
00:43:49THE END
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00:45:21The End
00:45:51The End
00:46:21I say old pal
00:46:26Here's a nice time to come home
00:46:35I've had my bath and gone to bed
00:46:40So you have
00:46:42I think I'll do the same
00:46:44Where are you going?
00:46:47Into the bedroom to have a bath
00:46:49Wait a minute
00:46:50I'll come with you
00:46:56Here
00:47:00Don't worry now
00:47:04Don't worry
00:47:05I'll give you a hand
00:47:08Here, what's the idea?
00:47:17Half an hour I knock and he does not answer
00:47:19Can't you read?
00:47:22No
00:47:23Come in
00:47:27Come in
00:47:30Mr. Rupert Boddy
00:47:34Can't you keep your trap shut?
00:47:35That ain't Mr. Boddy
00:47:36That's his lordship
00:47:37What is it?
00:47:39Oh
00:47:39Oh
00:47:40What is it?
00:47:45Beg pardon, my lord
00:47:46This here foreigner wants to speak to Mr. Boddy
00:47:48Very urgent
00:47:48Mr. Boddy
00:47:51Oui, my lord
00:47:51Mr. Boddy
00:47:53Oh
00:47:53There's the body
00:47:58Thank you, valet
00:48:02Thank you
00:48:04Oh, and valet
00:48:06Yes, my lord
00:48:07I shall be in the bathroom
00:48:08Bring me a lot of ice
00:48:10And a bottle of Worcester sauce
00:48:12Okay, my lord
00:48:14No, Worcester
00:48:15Mr. Boddy
00:48:19Yes, dear
00:48:21Mr. Boddy
00:48:22Oh, who is it?
00:48:31Ricardo, monsieur
00:48:32Good heavens
00:48:34A conjurer
00:48:35Yes, that's my card
00:48:40You are Mr. Boddy
00:48:42Am I?
00:48:44Give me that glass
00:48:46Oh
00:48:49Yes
00:48:51That's me
00:48:53What do you want, my good man?
00:48:56The compliments of my master, the Count Duval
00:48:58And he desired at once
00:49:00250 pounds
00:49:01I don't understand
00:49:04Is that so?
00:49:06Then I will explain
00:49:08Valet
00:49:10Look up the next train to Dumpton
00:49:12Where, my lord?
00:49:14Dum Hampton
00:49:16Where's that, my lord?
00:49:18Don't ask me
00:49:19I live there
00:49:19Farewell, my lord
00:49:22Pie, old man
00:49:28Pie, old man
00:49:46I say pie
00:49:49Can you hear me?
00:49:51Pie
00:49:52My head
00:49:55The top of my head
00:49:57Keeps opening and shutting
00:49:59Pie, I want to tell you about something serious that happened this morning
00:50:04Rupert
00:50:06If you love me, silence
00:50:08Until we reach Dumpton
00:50:10No talk
00:50:11No news
00:50:13No nothing
00:50:15Good afternoon, miss
00:50:37Is there anything I can do for you?
00:50:39Yes, there is
00:50:39I'm expecting some of my friends down this evening
00:50:42And I want you to take care of them
00:50:44I'm afraid I can't offer them much entertainment
00:50:46Oh, don't you worry
00:50:48They'll bring their own
00:50:49Oh
00:50:49I say pie
00:50:53If you say I say pie again
00:50:54I shall hit you in the bay
00:50:55That was Lord Pie, miss
00:50:59Ah, so it was
00:51:01You remember that young woman at the hotel last night?
00:51:05What young woman?
00:51:06Why, Miss Benita Delise
00:51:07Well, what about her?
00:51:08I've just seen her talking to the landlord at the Dumpton Arms
00:51:11Don't talk nonsense, she's gone to America
00:51:13Oh, yes, of course, I forgot that
00:51:15Good heavens
00:51:20Dastardly outrage
00:51:22What's the matter?
00:51:24A most distressing thing occurred last night
00:51:26Where?
00:51:27At Birmingham
00:51:27Not at Father's meeting
00:51:29The Congress of the League
00:51:31For Promotion of Purity Among Part-Time Workers
00:51:33Which took place at Birmingham last night
00:51:35Was dispersed somewhat earlier
00:51:36Than the agenda called for
00:51:38Before the conclusion of the opening speech
00:51:40A troop of hooligans rushed into the hall
00:51:42And hurled rotten tomatoes
00:51:43And stink bombs among the members
00:51:45Who hurriedly fled from the hall
00:51:46I trust your father and Mr. Body were not involved?
00:51:50Oh, I don't think father would throw rotten tomatoes and stink bombs
00:51:53There are times when levity is out of place
00:51:57And then he became very threatening
00:51:59And he had my card as evidence
00:52:01Your own card?
00:52:03Yes, my own card
00:52:04I wonder how he got there
00:52:06I can't think
00:52:07Neither can I
00:52:08So I gave him the money
00:52:10You gave him the...
00:52:12But you hadn't got it
00:52:14I borrowed it from the funds of the League
00:52:17Rupert!
00:52:19How could you?
00:52:21I don't know, but I did
00:52:22But the accounts have to be submitted at the meeting tonight
00:52:26I know, Pye
00:52:26I want you to lend me the money
00:52:29Me?
00:52:30You do understand, don't you, old man?
00:52:33You see, I wasn't feeling very well
00:52:34And it seemed the only thing to do
00:52:36You see, last night at the Devil's Kitchen
00:52:39I decided to reform some young women I met there
00:52:42There was one especially
00:52:43One moment
00:52:44There was one especially?
00:52:47Yes, there was one especially
00:52:49I understand
00:52:50Proceed
00:52:51I don't actually remember giving a girl a diamond ring
00:52:54But I suppose I must have
00:52:56Because this chap had my card
00:52:57Rupert
00:52:58You have done a dreadful thing
00:53:00But for the sake of our old school days at St. Asaph's
00:53:04I will lend you the money
00:53:05You will?
00:53:07Oh, Pye
00:53:07You are a friend indeed
00:53:09You're informing me
00:53:12Father and Mr. Bobby are back
00:53:20Ah, now we shall hear about the convention
00:53:22Nonsense, none of them wore tights
00:53:25But the one who winked at me
00:53:27Ah
00:53:27I quite agree
00:53:31All money from Pye rents
00:53:33Should be devoted to the good of the parish
00:53:35While repairs to the steeple should be done by the vestry
00:53:37Ah, uncle
00:53:39Ah, boys, back again
00:53:41Here we are, back again
00:53:44Aren't we, buddy?
00:53:45Yes, here we are, back again
00:53:47Good
00:53:47Now I want to know exactly what happened last night
00:53:50It must have been a terrible experience
00:53:53Where?
00:53:55When?
00:53:55At the meeting
00:53:56The convention
00:53:57Oh, the convention
00:53:59Oh, yes
00:53:59Well, of course, it all went through exactly as laid out in the agenda
00:54:02Yes, of course
00:54:04To start with
00:54:05Yes, of course, to start with
00:54:07Didn't it, Rupert?
00:54:08Yes, of course, to start with
00:54:10Exactly as laid out in the agenda
00:54:12What happened then?
00:54:15Then?
00:54:16Oh, then
00:54:17Yes
00:54:17Yes, what happened then?
00:54:20When?
00:54:22Then
00:54:23What happened to all those hooligans who rushed into the hall?
00:54:26Who?
00:54:27Who?
00:54:27Who?
00:54:28I don't wonder you want to know about that
00:54:29Here
00:54:31What's he talking about?
00:54:34He wishes to know what was laid out in the agenda
00:54:36If you're not more helpful, I shall lay you out in the agenda
00:54:40The smell must have been overpowering
00:54:43The smell?
00:54:46Yes, the smell
00:54:47Oh, it was
00:54:48Yes, it was
00:54:49Yes, the hall was lined with flowers
00:54:52And their perfume
00:54:53I don't mean the smell of the flowers
00:54:55I'm talking about the other smell
00:54:57Does he mean that?
00:55:03The other smell?
00:55:05Stink bombs
00:55:06What do they call it?
00:55:09Stink bombs
00:55:10I thought he did
00:55:12Well, uh
00:55:16Stink bombs
00:55:18Yes
00:55:19Stink bombs
00:55:22Well, of course, the modern form of stink bomb
00:55:26As opposed to the original form of stink bomb
00:55:30Is, of course, 100% up on the interruption of anything like a political or a serious meeting
00:55:36Uh, the odd little stink bomb
00:55:39You remember them years ago
00:55:40The little stink bomb
00:55:41Well, it would interfere with the meeting of, say, a hundred souls
00:55:44But now, of course
00:55:45Excuse me, Your Lordship
00:55:47There's a young lady to see you
00:55:48A young lady?
00:55:49Yes, sir
00:55:50What's her name?
00:55:52She wouldn't give any name, sir
00:55:53Hmm
00:55:54Oh, will I go and see what she wants?
00:55:56Oh, it's just someone calling for a subscription
00:55:58I'll see her, don't you, Barbara?
00:56:03Wilfred!
00:56:07What's the matter, darling?
00:56:08Darling?
00:56:10Excuse me, I'm afraid
00:56:11Aren't you glad to see me again so soon?
00:56:14I'll talk to you outside in the hall
00:56:16Surely, madame, there must be some mistake
00:56:19No, there isn't
00:56:20Aren't you going to kiss me?
00:56:23Give
00:56:23Alfred, you may go
00:56:32So you don't know me, sir, you don't know me
00:56:35What is the meaning of this?
00:56:38Well, we, I...
00:56:39What's that?
00:56:39Silence!
00:56:40Have you met this woman before?
00:56:42Well...
00:56:42Of course he has
00:56:43We met in Birmingham
00:56:45But I asked him to keep it a secret
00:56:47Didn't I, Angel?
00:56:49Did you?
00:56:49Oh, you are funny
00:56:51Of course I did
00:56:52Exactly what are you to my nephew?
00:56:55Can't you guess?
00:56:55No, I cannot
00:56:56Wilfred, who is this woman?
00:56:58That's right
00:56:59What do you mean, that's right?
00:57:00Yes, who are you?
00:57:02Well...
00:57:03I did think Dada would recognize me
00:57:06Dada?
00:57:07Dada?
00:57:08Dada?
00:57:10Yes, I'm Benita
00:57:11His stepdaughter from Canada
00:57:13What?
00:57:13What, Linda's girl?
00:57:15Yes, great Uncle Samson
00:57:16Oh, my dear child
00:57:18Can you ever forgive me?
00:57:20Of course I can
00:57:21Welcome to Dumpton
00:57:22What a surprise
00:57:27Yes, isn't it?
00:57:27Look how surprised I am
00:57:29Why on earth did you tell me before who she was?
00:57:31Ah, that was part of the surprise
00:57:32We were just having a little game with you
00:57:34Oh, where are you?
00:57:38Oh, yes
00:57:38And it was Mr. Body's idea
00:57:40Oh, was it?
00:57:41I wanted to give Mother a surprise
00:57:43Sugar?
00:57:45Thank you
00:57:45Where is she?
00:57:46Oh, she's away
00:57:47Away?
00:57:48Yes, and there's no telling when she'll be home
00:57:50So you'd better go back to Canada
00:57:51Ah, nonsense
00:57:52She'll be healed in a minute
00:57:54Oh
00:57:54You do forgive us for deceiving you
00:57:57Oh, of course, of course
00:57:58May I?
00:58:01May I give you a kiss?
00:58:02Why not?
00:58:10Wilfred, what a delightful child
00:58:12A really affectionate child
00:58:14Yes
00:58:15One of the most affectionate children I have ever met
00:58:19Uh, Phyllis
00:58:20This is your stepsister, Bonita
00:58:23Oh, so are you, Phyllis
00:58:24I've always wanted to meet you
00:58:26And
00:58:26Shall we have some tea outside?
00:58:31Yes, let's
00:58:32I've so much to tell you
00:58:34How marvellous
00:58:39How wonderful
00:58:41And how fortunate
00:58:41Fortunate?
00:58:43Yes, she'll be able to come to the meeting tonight
00:58:45Bonnie, have you accounts ready?
00:58:48Oh, quite
00:58:49Quite
00:58:50They should make very interesting reading
00:58:52Eh, Wilfred?
00:58:53Oh, quite
00:58:54Quite
00:58:54I thought perhaps you'd like to know, sir
00:58:58That her ladyship has just arrived
00:58:59Linda
00:59:00Ask Lady Pie to come down to the library
00:59:03And tell Miss Bonita her mother has arrived
00:59:04Her mother?
00:59:06Is she here too?
00:59:07What are you talking about?
00:59:08Her mother is your wife
00:59:09Oh, I forgot that
00:59:11What a reunion
00:59:11Imagine Linda's surprise
00:59:13That's just what I am doing
00:59:15Happy mother
00:59:16Happy daughter
00:59:17Oh, she's happy enough
00:59:18Ah, what a picture they'll make
00:59:20Buddy, you'll find me at the bottom of the moat
00:59:25You'll give me my 250 pounds first, won't you?
00:59:28Oh, don't talk such trivialities
00:59:30When I'm in such trouble
00:59:31Buddy, you'll join us at dinner
00:59:32Er, no, thank you
00:59:34You will
00:59:34Don't you dare leave me
00:59:36Oh, very well
00:59:38I'll be delighted
00:59:39Good
00:59:40He's delighted
00:59:41What about
00:59:42Ah, Linda
00:59:44Wilfred has a wonderful surprise for you
00:59:49How lovely
00:59:50Well, Wilfred, did you have a nice time?
00:59:53Linda
00:59:53Linda, I've always been a good husband to you, haven't I?
00:59:57Yes, my dear
00:59:58Mother, look who's here
01:00:00Wicked
01:00:00Mother, darling
01:00:02She's going to try to deceive my wife
01:00:05She'll never do it
01:00:07It's Bonita, your little daughter
01:00:09She can't do it
01:00:12My child
01:00:13She's done it
01:00:19Boys and girls
01:00:38Come on, get out and astonish the natives
01:00:40Down with demon glue
01:00:49Up with joy and jollity
01:00:51Come on, girls
01:00:52Quiet, girls, quiet
01:00:57Oh, yes
01:00:58Oh, yes
01:00:59Oh, yes
01:01:00Here be beer in fair fat barrels
01:01:02Beer for Tom and Bill and Nelly
01:01:04To warm your hearts
01:01:05And fill you full of fun
01:01:06And it's all free
01:01:07So walk up, gents
01:01:08And help yourselves
01:01:09Come on, girls
01:01:10Up your gents
01:01:11Come on
01:01:13Walk up
01:01:14Walk up
01:01:14Come on, gents
01:01:15This way, please
01:01:16Come on, girls
01:01:25Come on
01:01:25Come on, boys
01:01:26Come on
01:01:27Rupert, where have you been?
01:01:42I went home to make myself presentable
01:01:45Oh, pure waste of time
01:01:47Why leave me at a time like this
01:01:49You of all people
01:01:50The one man I thought I could rely on
01:01:52The one man who I've always thought would
01:01:55See, it's on
01:01:56I thought it would stand by me in an emergency
01:02:00Put that in there
01:02:01Give it to me
01:02:02Oh
01:02:03My dear man, I can't
01:02:05I can't stand this much longer
01:02:07You know, when she said
01:02:09When she said she was my daughter
01:02:11I was amazed
01:02:12But when Uncle Samson and Phyllis believed her
01:02:15I was thunderstruck
01:02:16When my wife believed her
01:02:18I was absolutely
01:02:19Hush, hush
01:02:20I can't help it
01:02:21I must say it
01:02:21No, no
01:02:22Yes, I must
01:02:23Flummoxed
01:02:24Can't you think of anything?
01:02:29Yes
01:02:29When can I have my 250 pounds?
01:02:32Oh, don't keep harping on that
01:02:34Always thinking of your own troubles
01:02:35If I were you
01:02:37And an old friend like me was in trouble
01:02:38I should be worried to death
01:02:40Well, I am worried to death
01:02:41If you could let me have it in cash
01:02:43I should prefer it
01:02:44Hi dear, hi did I
01:02:47Hi dear, hi dear what?
01:02:50A form of salutation
01:02:51Used by the natives of North America
01:02:53Now look here
01:02:54What do you mean by this?
01:02:55By what?
01:02:56Wilfred
01:02:57Don't call me Wilfred
01:02:59Why, by telling everybody
01:03:01That you're my stepdaughter
01:03:02You ought to be very grateful
01:03:04I saved the situation
01:03:07How was I to know
01:03:09You had a house full of uncle?
01:03:12I shall expose you
01:03:13You dare not
01:03:14And you know it
01:03:16Ah, there you are, darling
01:03:19And Mr. Barney
01:03:21I hope you brought your music
01:03:22Have you?
01:03:23No
01:03:23Good
01:03:24Well, dear
01:03:24I hope you've been amusing each other
01:03:26I've been terribly amused
01:03:27As I thought
01:03:28One minute past
01:03:29Dinner's late again
01:03:30Uncle Sam
01:03:31Ah
01:03:33Bobby, you're not wearing those flowers I gave you
01:03:37Oh, no
01:03:38Those lovely red roses
01:03:40So you like England?
01:03:42What you've seen of it?
01:03:43Oh, I think your policemen are wonderful
01:03:45You're there, Phyllis
01:03:46You must come and sit next to me, Mr. Barney
01:03:48You must have a lot to tell me
01:03:49You mustn't encourage me, Lady Pie
01:03:51I'm such a chatterbox
01:03:53Don't sneak up, Phyllis
01:03:55I can't help it
01:03:56It's Daddy
01:03:57He's so military-looking
01:03:58Alvin
01:04:00Serve the zoo
01:04:01And now, Wilfred
01:04:02For your account of the convention at Birmingham
01:04:04Some salt, yeah
01:04:05Wilfred
01:04:06Pepper
01:04:06Wilfred
01:04:07There's the mustard
01:04:08Oh, I beg your pardon, Uncle Samson
01:04:10There must have been a dreadful panic
01:04:12Panic?
01:04:13Panic when?
01:04:14When all the members rushed out of the building
01:04:15Oh, yes, there was, rather
01:04:17But that's after I'd left the hall to look for body
01:04:19Body, where were you?
01:04:21Yes, Wilfred, where were you?
01:04:23I went to look for pie
01:04:24Then you weren't actually in the hall when the bombs were thrown
01:04:27No, at least we were not exactly in the hall and not exactly out
01:04:31There was half a body in and a portion of pie out
01:04:34How very thrilling
01:04:40And did all this happen to you last night?
01:04:44Yes
01:04:45Well, go on, tell me all about it
01:04:48I'm especially interested
01:04:50Oh, no, I don't think I'll bore you
01:04:52Oh, yes, you will
01:04:53After the panic, what happened then?
01:04:56The panic, what happened then?
01:04:58Oh, well, that's where Buddy comes in
01:05:00He's the one to tell you about that
01:05:02I beg your pardon, Lady Pie
01:05:06There really isn't anything to tell you
01:05:10So the meeting dispersed and that was the end of that
01:05:12Yes, exactly, that's how it happened
01:05:14But how do you know, Uncle Samson?
01:05:15I saw it all in the morning papers
01:05:17Oh, did you?
01:05:18Rupert, in future we must read the morning papers
01:05:21What a lovely ring, Belita
01:05:25Yes, isn't it?
01:05:27Who gave it to you?
01:05:28Shall I tell you?
01:05:32No, I don't think I will
01:05:33Yet
01:05:34Someone in Canada?
01:05:37Perhaps
01:05:37If you ever go to Canada, you may find out
01:05:40Me go to Canada?
01:05:41No, thank you
01:05:41I'm far too comfortable here
01:05:43Oh, you'll never know
01:05:45Well, I don't want to hurry anybody
01:05:49But we all leave for the meeting in half an hour
01:05:51Yes
01:05:51Oh, yes
01:05:54I say you're not going
01:05:56Oh, no, no, Daddy dear
01:05:58I shall be back in a moment
01:05:59And you'll be able to tell me exactly how you finished up last night
01:06:04Yes, I don't remember very well
01:06:05No, I don't suppose you do
01:06:07Or you, Mr. Body
01:06:08Oh, dear
01:06:09Oh, dear
01:06:10Body
01:06:12If you wish, you may get down
01:06:14When are you going to marry me?
01:06:26There's work to be done
01:06:34Was it Jimmy?
01:06:40Yes
01:06:41Did you give him?
01:06:44Not yet
01:06:45What do you mean?
01:06:48Just
01:06:48You missed your dinner?
01:06:51It was worthless
01:06:52Shh
01:06:54Shh
01:06:56Shh
01:06:58Shh
01:07:00Shh
01:07:02Poor darling
01:07:09It's got to be done
01:07:10You don't know what it's like living under the thumb of great Uncle Samson
01:07:13I can imagine
01:07:17Are you ill, Wilfred?
01:07:23I'm far from well, dear
01:07:25Poor darling
01:07:31You're looking charming tonight, Linda
01:07:35Thank you, dear
01:07:36That dress suits you
01:07:37Thank you, darling
01:07:39Of course
01:07:39If you want another, don't hesitate to buy it
01:07:42You're so sweet
01:07:43Oh, it's nothing, nothing at all
01:07:45But, uh, Linda
01:07:48This
01:07:50This girl, Benita
01:07:51Well?
01:07:52Well
01:07:53She's not your daughter
01:07:55Whatever do you mean?
01:07:57I mean you're being imposed upon
01:07:58She's a cabaret artist
01:07:59I know that
01:08:01What?
01:08:02She told me
01:08:02She'd
01:08:03But did she tell you that I took her out to supper last night?
01:08:06Yes
01:08:06And that she followed me here?
01:08:08Yes
01:08:09And I'm delighted you two have become such good friends
01:08:11You're delighted?
01:08:13Just think how happy we shall be
01:08:15The three of us
01:08:16You
01:08:17I and she
01:08:19Linda, dear
01:08:20Are you quite well?
01:08:22Well, yes, thank you
01:08:23Did you tell me that you'd allow that woman under the same roof?
01:08:27Well, why not?
01:08:28She's my daughter
01:08:29She is not your daughter
01:08:31But I am
01:08:33You really are my stepdaughter
01:08:35I am
01:08:37And you knew this all the time?
01:08:40I did
01:08:40Thank you
01:08:41How dare you not tell me you were not what you weren't when all the time you really were?
01:08:46Now listen to me, Pa
01:08:49Pa?
01:08:50One more word from you
01:08:52And I'm going to tell everyone where you really went last night
01:08:56No
01:08:56And how you behaved
01:08:58No
01:08:59And in future you're to act like a human
01:09:01Instead of a vegetable marrow
01:09:03Very well
01:09:06I promise
01:09:07I'll reform
01:09:08I'll never be good again
01:09:11And Uncle Samson must go
01:09:13Uncle Samson must
01:09:16Yes
01:09:19Uncle Samson shall go
01:09:22You've brought out the savage in me
01:09:26There are all of
01:09:56What is the meaning of this orgy?
01:10:10Silence!
01:10:24Silence yourself, you old humbug.
01:10:26Who said that?
01:10:27He did.
01:10:28Wilfred, did you call me an old hum-something?
01:10:31Yes, I did, and that's what you humming well are.
01:10:36I demand your resignation from the leave.
01:10:38And I demand your resignation from my household.
01:10:41Try to leave my house tomorrow.
01:10:43Tomorrow?
01:10:44I'll never set foot in it again.
01:10:46If you do, I'll slam the front door on it.
01:10:58Ladies and gentlemen of the League of Purity,
01:11:01in future we shall be known as the League of Happiness.
01:11:04I'm going in for happiness.
01:11:05We're all going in for happiness.
01:11:06Let us drink to my stepdaughter and her future husband.
01:11:11He's going in for happiness.
01:11:19My dear, a little present I bought you as I was passing through London.
01:11:24Isn't he sweet?
01:11:25Thank you, darling.
01:11:26Boys and girls, it's a party.
01:11:33Hooray!
01:11:34Hooray!
01:11:34Hooray!
01:11:35Hooray!
01:11:36Hooray!
01:11:37Hooray!
01:11:38Hooray!
01:11:39Hooray!
01:11:40Hooray!
01:11:41Hooray!
01:11:42Hooray!
01:11:43Hooray!
01:11:44Hooray!
01:11:45Hooray!
01:11:46Hooray!
01:11:47Hooray!
01:11:48Hooray!
01:11:49Hooray!
01:11:50Hooray!
01:11:51Hooray!
01:11:52Hooray!
01:11:53Hooray!
01:11:54Hooray!
01:11:55Hooray!
01:11:56Hooray!
01:11:57Hooray!
01:11:58Hooray!
01:11:59Hooray!
01:12:00Hooray!
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