00:00There is a silent epidemic happening in modern dating and no one is talking about it.
00:05And because you're a nice girl, aka people pleaser, that's also very ambitious, wildly
00:11perceptive, and likely grew up with one or two emotionally immature parents, listen up
00:15because I'm about to explain why there are so many avoidant men with very dark personality
00:20traits.
00:20It's not just in your head, these men are in fact everywhere.
00:24Flagging this now, I'm not a man hater, I love men, there are plenty of good men, but
00:27this is for the dusties.
00:28These dusty avoidant men with dark traits were over-mothered and under-fathered.
00:34And that's why the mama's boy who was idolized by his mom but shamed by his father is one
00:39of the most dangerous personality types in a man.
00:42Because what he experiences is a shame-based personality.
00:45He has a core self that is so deeply in pain and abandoned because of his dad's abandonment.
00:51But then he has a false self, which is idolized by his mom.
00:55And when the mom oftentimes tries to over-correct and over-compensate for the lack of love that
01:00the father gave the son, she screws him up big time.
01:03And it's not all innocent on her behalf either.
01:05She's clearly with a dusty avoidant man.
01:08And so she uses that son as a surrogate husband.
01:11She loves to be needed and he loves to be idolized.
01:15And this very sick dynamic creates a terrible blueprint.
01:19When you mother a boy past the age, you teach them that a woman's love is unconditional.
01:23To expect constant comfort and approval for doing nothing at all.
01:27And what do we call men who are entitled to a woman's unconditional love without understanding
01:31that they need to earn it?
01:33Dusty.
01:33This is the breeding ground for cluster B personality disorders.
01:37And when I tell you it's everywhere, it's everywhere.
01:40This is how you get fragile but entitled men.
01:43And this isn't random, it's generational.
01:45Fathers are pulled out of the home for work.
01:47Divorce became normalized.
01:49Men naturally, temperamentally have a real temptation to become passive and check out.
01:53And culturally, we've mocked dads and undermined the importance of fatherhood.
01:57That is the breeding ground for these dark traits that I've been telling you about.
02:01And that's why so many women are dating men who want a mother, not a lover.
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