00:00I think if I didn't find Islam back then, my life would probably turn out a lot different.
00:09No matter what religion, it's supposed to be something that guide you, right?
00:14Last time, I was a free thinker, so there was kind of nothing guiding me along, you know?
00:21I think I will be a much worse person if I haven't found Islam.
00:30My name is Kisha Ang, I'm a real estate agent and I'm a Chinese Muslim.
00:36Kisha is not the name you're born with, right?
00:38No.
00:39What does Kisha mean?
00:40Kisha is a name I picked out for myself because the name I was born with is Ang Wan Ki,
00:50so I still want to retain the ki because I still want to be authentic or genuine, like still me.
00:57So, Kisha is basically like a variant of Aisha.
01:02Can you tell me about your first encounter with Islam?
01:04I think it was Ramadan back then at the Mamak shop.
01:05Yeah, I was skating with my friends.
01:06I heard some melody.
01:07Then I was like,
01:12I'm like,
01:13I think it was Ramadan back then at the Mamak shop.
01:18I think it was Ramadan back then, at the Mamak shop.
01:31Yeah, I was skating with my friends.
01:34I heard some melody, then I was curious.
01:37So I asked my friends whom I was skating with.
01:39Then they tell me it's the Azan, the call to prayer.
01:42I think that was my first proper encounter with Islam.
01:48I think that was my first proper encounter with Islam.
01:52It was a whore.
01:54I don't know.
01:56I'm crying.
01:58I'm crying.
02:00I'm crying.
02:02I'm crying.
02:04I'm crying.
02:06I'm crying.
02:08I'm crying.
02:12I'm crying.
02:16Even until now, sometimes, when I hear the Azan, I still get goosebumps.
02:22Yeah, it's kind of a remembrance of God.
02:26Yeah.
02:27It feels like he's calling us.
02:29Yeah, so that's my first proper encounter with Islam.
02:34I think learning about Islam is more of a gradual thing.
02:38Like, I slowly learn more about Islam and the religion through daily life.
02:41But I think my first official class in Darul Akam was in 2018 for my beginner's course on Islam.
02:50In Singapore, if anybody wants to convert or revert to Islam, that is where we go.
02:56Yeah, Muslim converts of association.
02:59And I officially converted in 2022.
03:10Did you have to prep your family?
03:12How do you tell them?
03:13Hmm.
03:14Because I'm very close with my parents, my family, my sister.
03:19Yeah, so their permission or their blessing matters a lot to me.
03:24At the start, probably my parents were concerned because I was only 15 years old.
03:30Maybe they scared.
03:31I don't know what I was doing.
03:33I was too young or maybe I was influenced.
03:35Or maybe they even thought it was just a face.
03:37They were also probably afraid that things were going to change.
03:42I think it was probably in COVID lockdown period, right?
03:46It just struck me, you know.
03:48I was just like...
03:49I go up to my mum and say,
03:50I want to convert now.
03:52Yeah, then after that she...
03:53Then she just say,
03:54Why must now?
03:55Just wait until you...
03:57You want to get married then and convert lah.
04:01You want to do it now so fast for what?
04:03Yeah, maybe more like that then...
04:05I cry easily lah.
04:06So then I just like...
04:07And I...
04:08I don't usually like fight or talk back with my mum.
04:11So I just like...
04:12Go into my room and cry lah.
04:15When I look at my...
04:17Other...
04:18Malay Muslim friends who are born Muslims, right?
04:21I feel like...
04:23They grew up very fortunate because...
04:25Especially during Ramadan,
04:26They have their family to...
04:28Cook with, to pray with, to breakfast with.
04:30Yeah, but...
04:31There was one particular day I remember.
04:33It's just I go to the...
04:35Pasal Malam, buy food, sit down at the block and break fast.
04:38Yeah, alone.
04:39So that was...
04:40One day that...
04:41I don't know why it just stuck with me.
04:42Then that day just felt very, very lonely.
04:44Yeah.
04:50But of course, throughout these 10 years, they saw that...
04:52I'm still the same.
04:53I'm still their daughter.
04:54Yeah, so...
04:55Same person.
04:56I think they've gotten very used to it.
04:58Because since...
04:59Since...
05:00Since I was 15 until now, 28, right?
05:0213 years really.
05:03The whole 13 years.
05:04So...
05:05They know that this is what...
05:06I know I want.
05:07Yeah.
05:08And they also seen...
05:09Good side of my husband.
05:11And...
05:12So...
05:13They're very comfortable with it already.
05:14They...
05:15They also...
05:16They're very used to it.
05:17I just like to...
05:19Disturb them also.
05:21Like...
05:22Always randomly go ask...
05:23I pretty or not in hijab?
05:24Yeah.
05:25Because I just recently started wearing it.
05:26Yeah, so...
05:27I'm a very...
05:28Playful person.
05:29Yeah, so you started wearing a hijab this year.
05:32Yes.
05:33And why did it take?
05:34I think you...
05:35Three years?
05:36Hmm...
05:37Yeah...
05:38Close to three years.
05:39Uh...
05:40Actually...
05:41Because...
05:42Most of the time, I think I'm a perfectionist.
05:45I try to...
05:47Strive to be the best version of myself.
05:50Meaning I set very high expectations of myself.
05:52So...
05:53Actually before I convert, right?
05:54I was thinking...
05:55Okay, once I convert, I'm gonna straight away put on the hijab.
05:58Because...
05:59Once I convert, right?
06:00Basically...
06:01I will be like a baby.
06:02Like no sin like that.
06:03Yeah...
06:04Sinless.
06:05Like a blank sheet of paper.
06:06So if I convert, then I don't wear hijab.
06:08Then straight away got stained and ready.
06:09That's how I thought last time.
06:11But...
06:12When the day come, right?
06:15After conversion, like...
06:16Like...
06:17I felt like...
06:18Eh...
06:19I wasn't ready.
06:20Yeah...
06:21Like...
06:22I felt like I wasn't...
06:23A good enough...
06:25Muslim yet...
06:26To...
06:27To...
06:28To wear the hijab.
06:29To publicly show that...
06:31Oh, I'm a Muslim.
06:32Apart from...
06:33Outfit...
06:34As a Muslim...
06:35Personally...
06:36It's a lot about the...
06:37Mindset also.
06:38So like...
06:39Remembrance of God is one thing.
06:40Like...
06:41When...
06:42When I'm having difficulties...
06:43How I react...
06:44How I respond...
06:45Is another thing also.
06:46Yeah...
06:47I couldn't bring myself to do it.
06:48And also like...
06:49I guess...
06:50Excuses just keep coming up.
06:51Like...
06:52Wow, I have to change a lot of things.
06:53My ID tag...
06:54Also I have to retake picture.
06:55Then my entire wardrobe...
06:56I need to change.
06:57So a lot of things.
06:58After that, I tell myself things like...
06:59Okay...
07:00If by next year, March...
07:01Something, something, something happened...
07:02Then I will wear the hijab.
07:03Yeah...
07:04So I gave myself two different scenario...
07:05Of something that might happen.
07:06But...
07:07Of course, both didn't happen.
07:08When it came this year, March...
07:09So a lot of things...
07:10After that, I tell myself things like...
07:11Okay...
07:12If by next year, March...
07:13Something, something, something happened...
07:15Then I will wear the hijab.
07:16Yeah...
07:17So I gave myself two different scenario...
07:18Of something that might happen.
07:19But...
07:20Of course, both didn't happen...
07:21When it came this year, March or so...
07:23But instead...
07:24Something else happened.
07:25Yeah...
07:26So...
07:27My friends asked me to do a...
07:28Ramadan video.
07:29Actually, I was contemplating.
07:31I was very nervous.
07:32Because to me...
07:33If I were to do a public video...
07:36Especially about Ramadan...
07:38I should be properly dressed...
07:41Appropriately in hijab.
07:43Yeah...
07:44So like...
07:45After I agree...
07:46Then the shooting day also...
07:47Just nice...
07:48One day before Ramadan.
07:49Then to me right...
07:51That one is a...
07:52Very clear sign from God...
07:54Already...
07:55Because like...
07:56I had intentions...
07:57Since last time...
07:58Then even stronger...
07:59Since late last year...
08:00Like he knows...
08:01So he's like...
08:02Pushing me saying...
08:03Okay...
08:04Time for you to wear the hijab then...
08:05Yeah...
08:06So...
08:07Since...
08:08The one day before Ramadan this year...
08:09Until now...
08:10I see...
08:11I permanently wear the hijab.
08:15When I...
08:16Start to wear...
08:18And...
08:19Meet...
08:20People for the first time...
08:21With hijab...
08:22It still feels...
08:23Shy...
08:24Yeah...
08:25But...
08:26I feel like...
08:27Now that I've gotten used to it...
08:28Like this three months...
08:29When I go out...
08:31I feel more comfortable...
08:33Yeah...
08:34Like...
08:35Like I'm more in my own skin...
08:36Even last time right...
08:37Before I wear hijab also...
08:38I try to wear...
08:39Long sleeve long pants...
08:40That can cover up lah...
08:41But then I...
08:42Feel very out of place...
08:43Because...
08:44I look...
08:45Covered up...
08:46But missing the head piece...
08:47Yeah...
08:48So last time you feel like...
08:49Incomplete you know...
08:50Like not here not there...
08:51And I'm doing this...
08:52For God...
08:53Like I cover up...
08:54For God...
08:55Between this three months...
08:56I start wearing the hijab...
08:57Compared to last time...
08:59Is...
09:00The public's perception of me...
09:03Because...
09:04Last time I go everywhere right...
09:05People were still thinking I'm Chinese...
09:07Yeah...
09:08Because I really look like Chinese...
09:09I mean I am Chinese...
09:10Right...
09:11Yeah...
09:12So I go places...
09:13Then people were just...
09:14They speak Chinese to me...
09:15They also don't think I know how to speak Malay at all...
09:16But...
09:17Now...
09:18Because I go out in hijab...
09:19People automatically think I'm Malay...
09:20Like although I look so Chinese...
09:21Yeah...
09:22So I think that's the most...
09:23Most difference...
09:24In general...
09:25If I haven't found Islam...
09:28Then I think my life would have been a lot...
09:30A lot...
09:31A lot different...
09:32Because...
09:33Like I said just now...
09:34Islam is a way of life right...
09:35It teaches me how to live...
09:36How to be a person...
09:37How to be a better human being...
09:38Yeah...
09:39How...
09:40How to always be rooted...
09:41I guess...
09:42Yeah...
09:43And I think...
09:44Up until I die...
09:45I will always be grateful...
09:46That...
09:47God has chosen me...
09:48You know...
09:49Out of so many...
09:50People who are not born Muslim...
09:52He chose to shine his light...
09:54His light...
09:55Yeah...
09:56On me...
09:57Ok...
10:00It calls...
10:02There's a face...
10:03Hello...
10:05Oh...
10:06God is a very quiet person...
10:07I guess...
10:08should have stopped now...
10:09Let's see...
10:10You see...
10:11Loving Me...
10:12That...
10:13Stop...
10:14seem...
10:15Onion...
10:16They...
10:17せ...
10:18This...
10:20Is...
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