Converting to Islam in Singapore | Where Race Meets Religion - video Dailymotion

AsiaOne

Keesya Ang never truly felt comfortable with who she was until she began wearing the hijab. Though she had long known she wanted to convert to Islam, family expectations and struggles with self-acceptance delayed her journey to embracing the faith.   Watch more: https://www.asiaone.com/video

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00:00I think if I didn't find Islam back then, my life would probably turn out a lot different.

00:09No matter what religion, it's supposed to be something that guide you, right?

00:14Last time, I was a free thinker, so there was kind of nothing guiding me along, you know?

00:21I think I will be a much worse person if I haven't found Islam.

00:30My name is Kisha Ang, I'm a real estate agent and I'm a Chinese Muslim.

00:36Kisha is not the name you're born with, right?

00:38No.

00:39What does Kisha mean?

00:40Kisha is a name I picked out for myself because the name I was born with is Ang Wan Ki,

00:50so I still want to retain the ki because I still want to be authentic or genuine, like still me.

00:57So, Kisha is basically like a variant of Aisha.

01:02Can you tell me about your first encounter with Islam?

01:04I think it was Ramadan back then at the Mamak shop.

01:05Yeah, I was skating with my friends.

01:06I heard some melody.

01:07Then I was like,

01:12I'm like,

01:13I think it was Ramadan back then at the Mamak shop.

01:18I think it was Ramadan back then, at the Mamak shop.

01:31Yeah, I was skating with my friends.

01:34I heard some melody, then I was curious.

01:37So I asked my friends whom I was skating with.

01:39Then they tell me it's the Azan, the call to prayer.

01:42I think that was my first proper encounter with Islam.

01:48I think that was my first proper encounter with Islam.

01:52It was a whore.

01:54I don't know.

01:56I'm crying.

01:58I'm crying.

02:00I'm crying.

02:02I'm crying.

02:04I'm crying.

02:06I'm crying.

02:08I'm crying.

02:12I'm crying.

02:16Even until now, sometimes, when I hear the Azan, I still get goosebumps.

02:22Yeah, it's kind of a remembrance of God.

02:26Yeah.

02:27It feels like he's calling us.

02:29Yeah, so that's my first proper encounter with Islam.

02:34I think learning about Islam is more of a gradual thing.

02:38Like, I slowly learn more about Islam and the religion through daily life.

02:41But I think my first official class in Darul Akam was in 2018 for my beginner's course on Islam.

02:50In Singapore, if anybody wants to convert or revert to Islam, that is where we go.

02:56Yeah, Muslim converts of association.

02:59And I officially converted in 2022.

03:10Did you have to prep your family?

03:12How do you tell them?

03:13Hmm.

03:14Because I'm very close with my parents, my family, my sister.

03:19Yeah, so their permission or their blessing matters a lot to me.

03:24At the start, probably my parents were concerned because I was only 15 years old.

03:30Maybe they scared.

03:31I don't know what I was doing.

03:33I was too young or maybe I was influenced.

03:35Or maybe they even thought it was just a face.

03:37They were also probably afraid that things were going to change.

03:42I think it was probably in COVID lockdown period, right?

03:46It just struck me, you know.

03:48I was just like...

03:49I go up to my mum and say,

03:50I want to convert now.

03:52Yeah, then after that she...

03:53Then she just say,

03:54Why must now?

03:55Just wait until you...

03:57You want to get married then and convert lah.

04:01You want to do it now so fast for what?

04:03Yeah, maybe more like that then...

04:05I cry easily lah.

04:06So then I just like...

04:07And I...

04:08I don't usually like fight or talk back with my mum.

04:11So I just like...

04:12Go into my room and cry lah.

04:15When I look at my...

04:17Other...

04:18Malay Muslim friends who are born Muslims, right?

04:21I feel like...

04:23They grew up very fortunate because...

04:25Especially during Ramadan,

04:26They have their family to...

04:28Cook with, to pray with, to breakfast with.

04:30Yeah, but...

04:31There was one particular day I remember.

04:33It's just I go to the...

04:35Pasal Malam, buy food, sit down at the block and break fast.

04:38Yeah, alone.

04:39So that was...

04:40One day that...

04:41I don't know why it just stuck with me.

04:42Then that day just felt very, very lonely.

04:44Yeah.

04:50But of course, throughout these 10 years, they saw that...

04:52I'm still the same.

04:53I'm still their daughter.

04:54Yeah, so...

04:55Same person.

04:56I think they've gotten very used to it.

04:58Because since...

04:59Since...

05:00Since I was 15 until now, 28, right?

05:0213 years really.

05:03The whole 13 years.

05:04So...

05:05They know that this is what...

05:06I know I want.

05:07Yeah.

05:08And they also seen...

05:09Good side of my husband.

05:11And...

05:12So...

05:13They're very comfortable with it already.

05:14They...

05:15They also...

05:16They're very used to it.

05:17I just like to...

05:19Disturb them also.

05:21Like...

05:22Always randomly go ask...

05:23I pretty or not in hijab?

05:24Yeah.

05:25Because I just recently started wearing it.

05:26Yeah, so...

05:27I'm a very...

05:28Playful person.

05:29Yeah, so you started wearing a hijab this year.

05:32Yes.

05:33And why did it take?

05:34I think you...

05:35Three years?

05:36Hmm...

05:37Yeah...

05:38Close to three years.

05:39Uh...

05:40Actually...

05:41Because...

05:42Most of the time, I think I'm a perfectionist.

05:45I try to...

05:47Strive to be the best version of myself.

05:50Meaning I set very high expectations of myself.

05:52So...

05:53Actually before I convert, right?

05:54I was thinking...

05:55Okay, once I convert, I'm gonna straight away put on the hijab.

05:58Because...

05:59Once I convert, right?

06:00Basically...

06:01I will be like a baby.

06:02Like no sin like that.

06:03Yeah...

06:04Sinless.

06:05Like a blank sheet of paper.

06:06So if I convert, then I don't wear hijab.

06:08Then straight away got stained and ready.

06:09That's how I thought last time.

06:11But...

06:12When the day come, right?

06:15After conversion, like...

06:16Like...

06:17I felt like...

06:18Eh...

06:19I wasn't ready.

06:20Yeah...

06:21Like...

06:22I felt like I wasn't...

06:23A good enough...

06:25Muslim yet...

06:26To...

06:27To...

06:28To wear the hijab.

06:29To publicly show that...

06:31Oh, I'm a Muslim.

06:32Apart from...

06:33Outfit...

06:34As a Muslim...

06:35Personally...

06:36It's a lot about the...

06:37Mindset also.

06:38So like...

06:39Remembrance of God is one thing.

06:40Like...

06:41When...

06:42When I'm having difficulties...

06:43How I react...

06:44How I respond...

06:45Is another thing also.

06:46Yeah...

06:47I couldn't bring myself to do it.

06:48And also like...

06:49I guess...

06:50Excuses just keep coming up.

06:51Like...

06:52Wow, I have to change a lot of things.

06:53My ID tag...

06:54Also I have to retake picture.

06:55Then my entire wardrobe...

06:56I need to change.

06:57So a lot of things.

06:58After that, I tell myself things like...

06:59Okay...

07:00If by next year, March...

07:01Something, something, something happened...

07:02Then I will wear the hijab.

07:03Yeah...

07:04So I gave myself two different scenario...

07:05Of something that might happen.

07:06But...

07:07Of course, both didn't happen.

07:08When it came this year, March...

07:09So a lot of things...

07:10After that, I tell myself things like...

07:11Okay...

07:12If by next year, March...

07:13Something, something, something happened...

07:15Then I will wear the hijab.

07:16Yeah...

07:17So I gave myself two different scenario...

07:18Of something that might happen.

07:19But...

07:20Of course, both didn't happen...

07:21When it came this year, March or so...

07:23But instead...

07:24Something else happened.

07:25Yeah...

07:26So...

07:27My friends asked me to do a...

07:28Ramadan video.

07:29Actually, I was contemplating.

07:31I was very nervous.

07:32Because to me...

07:33If I were to do a public video...

07:36Especially about Ramadan...

07:38I should be properly dressed...

07:41Appropriately in hijab.

07:43Yeah...

07:44So like...

07:45After I agree...

07:46Then the shooting day also...

07:47Just nice...

07:48One day before Ramadan.

07:49Then to me right...

07:51That one is a...

07:52Very clear sign from God...

07:54Already...

07:55Because like...

07:56I had intentions...

07:57Since last time...

07:58Then even stronger...

07:59Since late last year...

08:00Like he knows...

08:01So he's like...

08:02Pushing me saying...

08:03Okay...

08:04Time for you to wear the hijab then...

08:05Yeah...

08:06So...

08:07Since...

08:08The one day before Ramadan this year...

08:09Until now...

08:10I see...

08:11I permanently wear the hijab.

08:15When I...

08:16Start to wear...

08:18And...

08:19Meet...

08:20People for the first time...

08:21With hijab...

08:22It still feels...

08:23Shy...

08:24Yeah...

08:25But...

08:26I feel like...

08:27Now that I've gotten used to it...

08:28Like this three months...

08:29When I go out...

08:31I feel more comfortable...

08:33Yeah...

08:34Like...

08:35Like I'm more in my own skin...

08:36Even last time right...

08:37Before I wear hijab also...

08:38I try to wear...

08:39Long sleeve long pants...

08:40That can cover up lah...

08:41But then I...

08:42Feel very out of place...

08:43Because...

08:44I look...

08:45Covered up...

08:46But missing the head piece...

08:47Yeah...

08:48So last time you feel like...

08:49Incomplete you know...

08:50Like not here not there...

08:51And I'm doing this...

08:52For God...

08:53Like I cover up...

08:54For God...

08:55Between this three months...

08:56I start wearing the hijab...

08:57Compared to last time...

08:59Is...

09:00The public's perception of me...

09:03Because...

09:04Last time I go everywhere right...

09:05People were still thinking I'm Chinese...

09:07Yeah...

09:08Because I really look like Chinese...

09:09I mean I am Chinese...

09:10Right...

09:11Yeah...

09:12So I go places...

09:13Then people were just...

09:14They speak Chinese to me...

09:15They also don't think I know how to speak Malay at all...

09:16But...

09:17Now...

09:18Because I go out in hijab...

09:19People automatically think I'm Malay...

09:20Like although I look so Chinese...

09:21Yeah...

09:22So I think that's the most...

09:23Most difference...

09:24In general...

09:25If I haven't found Islam...

09:28Then I think my life would have been a lot...

09:30A lot...

09:31A lot different...

09:32Because...

09:33Like I said just now...

09:34Islam is a way of life right...

09:35It teaches me how to live...

09:36How to be a person...

09:37How to be a better human being...

09:38Yeah...

09:39How...

09:40How to always be rooted...

09:41I guess...

09:42Yeah...

09:43And I think...

09:44Up until I die...

09:45I will always be grateful...

09:46That...

09:47God has chosen me...

09:48You know...

09:49Out of so many...

09:50People who are not born Muslim...

09:52He chose to shine his light...

09:54His light...

09:55Yeah...

09:56On me...

09:57Ok...

10:00It calls...

10:02There's a face...

10:03Hello...

10:05Oh...

10:06God is a very quiet person...

10:07I guess...

10:08should have stopped now...

10:09Let's see...

10:10You see...

10:11Loving Me...

10:12That...

10:13Stop...

10:14seem...

10:15Onion...

10:16They...

10:17せ...

10:18This...

10:20Is...

Converting to Islam in Singapore | Where Race Meets Religion

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