- 2 weeks ago
Taskmaster NZ (2020) Season 6 Episode 8- Hoisted on a Petard
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00:00Oh
00:30Welcome to taskmaster the show where five comedians are given a living wage and in exchange at least three times a year for the rest of their lives they will wake up in a cold sweat remembering how they couldn't find a camera that was made of cake
00:51My name is Jeremy Wells and I am the taskmaster
00:55Joining me tonight are our season six contestants Alice Sneddon
01:02Brie Thomas L
01:05Jack Ansex
01:07Jackie Van Beek
01:10And Pat Sasati
01:12And as always sitting next to me a man who doesn't like sparkling water because he thinks it's too spicy it's Paul Williams
01:23For tonight's prize task hmm that's that's odd says here that the prize category is a the best present for Paul
01:38Jack what have you brought in the best present for Paul well Jeremy um Paul he's always having to assist you
01:48Yes
01:49So the best present for Paul that I've brought in is um his own assistant he's called Craig
01:55Um yeah and he's actually here we're gonna bring him out big round of applause for yeah
02:02Oh wow oh my god amazing amazing he's got a whip oh yeah yeah yeah yeah there's a whip in case you know he gets out a laugh
02:13Give it to Paul
02:15Thank you
02:17Try it
02:18What should I say
02:20You piece of s word
02:24Okay you'll get better
02:27Sorry sorry I didn't mean that
02:28It's okay
02:30Okay
02:32Fantastic outfit by the way
02:34Same to you
02:35Thank you
02:37Jackie what did you bring in for Paul?
02:39Craig's just gonna sit there?
02:40Yeah
02:41I like it
02:42I love it
02:43I would prefer Craig to be present for this
02:44Yeah
02:46Now everybody knows I have such a strong love for Paul but I find him incredibly low energy like to a dangerous level
02:55So in order to keep you alive I am gifting you this
03:02A defibrillator this is for you Paul or the person next to you that needs to use it on you when you're sli-
03:07Craig
03:08Craig this is for you
03:10Craig are you medically trained?
03:12I can be
03:13Yeah
03:16Craig he's killing it
03:18Pax best present for Paul
03:20When we were shooting the tasks I discovered that Paul is a loose fan of Formula One so I've bought this for Paul
03:26Oh
03:27I've just genuinely bought a cool gift for Paul
03:30That screams of a gift that you want yourself and then you've bought for someone else hoping that they might invite you around to their house to play with it later on
03:37Yeah I would I would love to play Vroom Vroom F1 cars with Paul
03:42Alice what did you bring in?
03:44Oh so Paul and I are friends
03:47Fair enough
03:49And Paul's recently moved from London where I live back to New Zealand and he left his blender
03:57And I was gonna bring that back for him and I forgot so instead I've got him a different blender
04:02Oh
04:05That looks used
04:07I believe in sustainability
04:11Bri
04:12Jeremy what do you get a man that has everything?
04:15Lucky we don't have to answer that question because it's Paul and he has nothing
04:21Paul I know you've always really wanted a dog and I have dogs and I'm not giving them to you but I have made you a custom calendar of my dogs
04:31Oh wow
04:34That's Whitney Houston on the left and Meryl Streep on the right
04:39And can we look at January please?
04:44February
04:47March
04:49That's an action shot Jeremy
04:51April
04:52They're themed
04:54May
04:55That's a lovely one
04:56June
04:57July
04:58September
05:00October
05:01November
05:02And of course another themed one for December
05:06Which is beautiful
05:08Now you may think I've missed a month but Paul I know that your birthday is August the 7th
05:14And I've went all out for this
05:16Here's August
05:18Yes no you can clap
05:24Amazing
05:25That's really good
05:27Thank you Bri
05:28Thanks all of you I love my gifts
05:30You're welcome
05:31No worries mate
05:33Jackie one point
05:34Wow
05:35You don't need a defibrillator you'll be fine
05:38Two points for Alice
05:39Three points for Pax
05:41Four points for Bri
05:42I'll take it
05:43And five points for Jack Ansett
05:50Get out of here
05:51Get out of here
05:52Get out of here
05:54Oh that's for you I guess
05:58Let's get on with the show then shall we
06:00I think I'm in the mood for a real task Paul
06:03Poor thing Jeremy
06:04This one is a numbers game
06:14Hi Paul
06:15Hello Jackie
06:17Oh God
06:18Great
06:21Hello Alice
06:22Hey Paul
06:23Wow what do we have here
06:28Create new numbers
06:30Best new numbers wins
06:32Your new numbers
06:34Oh
06:35Must replace the numbers
06:37Zero through to nine
06:39And must have both a symbol and a written name
06:42You have twelve minutes
06:44Your time starts now
06:51There's nothing more threatening to a group of comedians
06:53Than Matt's in my experience
06:55Who are we going to watch first?
06:57We'll be seeing our top five contestants this series
07:00It's all of them
07:02Quite a detailed number
07:03Yeah but have you seen hieroglyphics?
07:05Oh you're trying to make it breasts
07:06Have you not seen many?
07:08To me that looks like maybe an owl
07:10How do you pronounce that?
07:12Yeah
07:13And what are things you have one of?
07:14Are you asking me?
07:15Yeah
07:16Friend?
07:17Friend do you?
07:18Yeah
07:19Oh I'm so sorry
07:20It's not me is it?
07:21No
07:22That would be embarrassing
07:23Oh yeah
07:25You've got nine minutes and jiggy seconds left
07:29I'm going to do word association
07:31Okay do it with me
07:32Okay
07:33For
07:35Okay
07:40Are you going to make me remember these for another task?
07:43No
07:44But when the eye
07:45It's quite scary to look you in the eye
07:47Promise?
07:48How do I make promises?
07:52Word association
07:53Three
07:55Oh
07:57Shake
07:59Does that look more like breasts?
08:01I think that's an owl looking down
08:04Five
08:05Okay
08:08Corpse
08:09So when I was five years old I pissed my pants at school
08:13And the image is some pants soaked in piss
08:19Six, the devil's number
08:21Hosking
08:23Not Hosking
08:24You're going to make me do a maths equation with this or something aren't you?
08:27No
08:28I despise maths
08:33Okay
08:34You happy with that?
08:35I'm stoked
08:36Yeah
08:37I'm happy
08:38Should I say a number and then you say it?
08:39Yeah
08:4148
08:43Far out
08:44I mean it makes life really difficult
08:46How do you say 7-eleven?
08:49Six men
08:50Oh yeah oh yeah
08:55I better never see these again in my life
09:03I want to know more about this urinating your pants story Alice
09:07We were all seated on the side of the concrete basketball court
09:11And I was busting to go and the teacher wouldn't let me go
09:14And I just pissed
09:16And the piss went all the way down underneath everyone in the classroom's legs
09:20And then someone said oh someone pissed
09:24And I said wasn't me
09:29I need a moment to wrap my head around these breakthroughs in maths
09:32So let's have an ad break and I'll see you shortly
09:34I'll see you shortly
09:35Thank you
09:36Thank you
09:37Thank you
09:38Thank you
09:39Thank you
09:40Thank you
09:41Thank you
09:42Thank you
09:43Thank you
09:44Thank you
09:45Thank you
09:46Thank you
09:47Thank you
09:48Thank you
09:49Hello my
09:50Welcome back to Taskmaster
09:51Before the break our contestants developed entirely new counting systems
09:55And it all seemed pretty straight forward
09:58We probably need to have a look at them if that's ok Paul
10:00Sure thing Jeremy
10:01Here is PAXs
10:03Ok
10:04I'll describe that as 8 anthropomorphised amoebas
10:07In the dark abyss of the heart
10:09There
10:10On the right
10:11It's got an inside of a school desk in the 1990s kind of vibe
10:14Yeah I did think about doing a big detailed cock but that would have really topped off the school desk energy
10:21Here's Jackie's
10:23Oh fun
10:24Oh
10:25It's got a hieroglyphic sort of a feel to it
10:27I like 8 tasteful side boob
10:30Yes
10:31Thank you
10:32What about Jack's
10:33Yes
10:34Ok
10:35So I worked out that the number 6729 would be Hosking Pride Balls Yum Yum
10:42Absolutely yes
10:45Bree's
10:46Wow
10:48Filthy Bree actually I've got to say
10:51Change looks like someone from Invercargill pulling the finger
10:54And lastly it's Alice's
11:00Hmm
11:01What is the symbol for hey?
11:04It's a sandal because hey reminded me of Jesus which is the Spanish word for
11:12Jesus and Jesus wore sandals
11:15Of course
11:16Of course
11:17Of course
11:18So I've got to score these somehow
11:20I would say that Jack and Pax essentially you guys both get two points just looks from my perspective like an insane load of crap
11:27Alice some merit I'll give you three points
11:31Thank you
11:32Jackie cohesive in its childish simplicity I thought
11:35Thank you
11:36Four points for you
11:37And I like the sexual undertones of Bree's to be honest
11:41Wow
11:42How are we going to go with the scores now Paul?
11:45Uh Alice is on piss
11:47Oh
11:48Bree is on taint
11:49Jack is on pride
11:51Jackie is on corpse
11:52And Pax is on aha
11:54Very good Paul
11:57Wow
11:58Need to do another task?
11:59Let's do another task
12:00Ok
12:01What's important to know about this task is that it was filmed a couple weeks after that last task
12:10Hello Alice
12:11Paul
12:12Weehee
12:13Hi Paul
12:14Mandarin
12:16Thank you
12:18Why are you standing so close to me?
12:20You don't like it?
12:22It's alright
12:24Score 43 points playing the duck toss
12:27Ooh that sounds fun
12:28Closest to 43 wins
12:31You must throw from the spot and you cannot move the spot or the duck receptacle
12:35You have until you think you've scored 43 points
12:40Your time starts now
12:42Oh I see
12:43So I have to throw them in these things?
12:46Mhm
12:47What is this shit?
12:49How do I know which each one's worth?
12:54Well it's written on it
12:56You don't recognise those symbols?
12:58Oh no
12:59Are they all mine?
13:02Oh God Paul
13:04So you remember all your numbers?
13:06I remember doing that exercise
13:08Ohhhh
13:12Do you want me to hold for that?
13:16Excuse me
13:17Excuse me
13:18Excuse me
13:21Huh?
13:22Sorry
13:23Huh?
13:24Could you mind not doing that for a little bit?
13:26I don't get one thing to myself
13:27We're just
13:28It's a mess here
13:29I'm living
13:30It's a mess
13:31We're just doing a task right now
13:32Excuse me
13:33I'll just do this bit
13:34Just let her do that bit
13:35What?
13:37I will never forgive you
13:39To be honest
13:40There's a lot more than I thought
13:41So I might
13:42Yeah
13:43Okay
13:44There you go
13:45Thank you
13:48Alice
13:49I can't believe you berated a member of the Taskmaster staff
13:52Rosemary Fair has fallen on hard times and she needed that work
13:56I know for a fact she's not fallen on hard times
14:00Now I feel like it's time for our contestants to be hoist on their own petards
14:05What did you just call me?
14:07You guys didn't think that that was going to come back did you?
14:10I would just like to say that I thought it would come back and I said it loads of times to Paul
14:14You are definitely not hoisted on a petard
14:17No you are not
14:18Who are we seeing first?
14:19You can count on these guys when it comes to counting
14:22It's Jack and Bree
14:24Hiya
14:27And I think that's how it's going to go for the rest of the time
14:29Hey we got one
14:31Do you know when I dropped maths in year 11
14:33I said to Mrs Beard
14:35See you later lady
14:36You're not going to need this ever again in my life
14:38And she went never disrespect maths
14:40You never know when you're going to need it
14:41And that's that moment
14:42Do you want to apologise to Mrs Beard?
14:44I'm so sorry Mrs Beard
14:46Maybe we can meet up for coffee or something like that
14:47If she's still alive
14:48Anyway
14:51Oh shit
14:52So now I'm minus 9
14:56Boobies
14:57I reckon that's 2
14:59No
15:00We're on minus 16 right now
15:02Let's go
15:05Plus heart
15:06I knew I should have written this down
15:08Come on Hosking
15:09Booyah
15:10Okay
15:11Now we're on minus 3
15:13Where do you think you're currently at?
15:1428
15:15And we're going for the dog
15:17In the middle
15:19At least I'm good at one thing
15:20The throwing
15:2113 again
15:22Let's go 13 again
15:23Oh no that's 16
15:26So what am I on?
15:27Let's go for another 6
15:2840
15:29I kind of feel like Boobies would be a 3
15:31But we're going for the titties
15:34Back to 34
15:35I think we're on 29 Paul
15:37Okay let's just go for another 16
15:38And then we can work our way back okay?
15:41Paul get out of the way
15:45Go in
15:46Shit
15:47What do you think you're on now?
15:48I have not one clue
15:5045
15:5245
15:53We need minus 2
15:55Okay happy with that
15:56Lock it in
15:57Bring it home bring it home
15:59Ah
16:02Anything to say to Mrs. Baird?
16:05Didn't need you after all
16:10Did I get the right amount?
16:1143 was the correct amount
16:12Right okay
16:13You seem to remember your number system quite well
16:15Yeah
16:16Yeah I just zoned in on the ones that I knew
16:19And tried my best to ignore the others
16:21That was quite smart you knew Hosking was the devil's number
16:23I did remember that yes
16:25So Jack obviously 46 so pretty close
16:28Pretty close
16:29And Bree 19
16:30You were a little breast heavy
16:32I was
16:33I was just so zoned in on the
16:34On the tatas
16:35And I just wanted to get those chuzzies
16:37And just
16:39And why wouldn't you?
16:40You know what I'm talking about
16:41Oh I know exactly what you mean
16:42Yeah totally
16:43Okay who's next Paul?
16:44Getting their ducks in a row
16:45It's Ducks Asadi
16:46And Quacky Van Beek
16:47I'm gonna start with
16:51Yes
16:52Exactly what I wanted
16:53Humpsnake
17:03I think that's four
17:04It's divided by a pill
17:05How many zeros can fit into pill?
17:07Zero pills
17:08What I'm gonna do
17:09Is I'm gonna whack right down into the negatives
17:12And then bounce up to 43
17:14How far into the negatives are you gonna go?
17:16Just not too much further
17:18Okay
17:20That's not good
17:23Yep
17:27Oh
17:28So that's plus
17:29Whatever that one is
17:30This is
17:31What are we doing here Paul?
17:33And I think we're gonna need one more biggie
17:35Oh we definitely need a hump
17:37Hump
17:38How many times that?
17:39What am I at now?
17:41So what kind of number would you be happy with?
17:48I don't know
17:5543
17:58Oh yep yep yep yep okay
18:00And...
18:01Done
18:0243
18:0343
18:04Oof
18:05Oh man my brain
18:06That's crazy
18:07But I got there
18:0843
18:09Are you sure it's 43?
18:10I'm...yeah
18:12Uhhh
18:13Jackie
18:14Jackie in some ways
18:18Your new number system actually made it quite pleasant
18:20Because you did not have a clue how badly you were doing
18:23No I just focused on positivity
18:25And when I felt like I'd got it I was like
18:27I'm out
18:28I did it
18:29And I truly felt like I believed that
18:32Do you still believe it?
18:33I don't now that I've seen the numbers
18:37Pax I would say apologise to Paul for lashing out at him
18:40But that throw was so piss weak
18:43Yeah I didn't want to hurt Paul
18:45But I wanted to show him that I was annoyed
18:47What were the numbers in the end Paul?
18:48So Pax 2,803
18:50And Jackie
18:52Negative 59,929
18:56There you go
18:57Okay that is way too much counting
18:59So let's let our brains just cool down for a while
19:01While these ads try to grab your attention
19:04We'll see you in a moment when Taskmaster returns
19:20Welcome back to Taskmaster
19:21Before the break our contestants were counting
19:23With their bespoke number systems
19:25And Paul I believe there's one more number cruncher to see
19:29Last but not Elise
19:31It's Alice
19:33I'll be back
19:37What's on the paper?
19:39Key to your numbers
19:40Yeah
19:42Come here
19:43Me?
19:44I'm supposed to be
19:45Working
19:46What are you up to?
19:47You're here visiting your nan
19:49Do you have no shame?
19:51Giving up family time
19:53To steal my lifeline
19:57Get out!
20:03Maybe I'll just start with one and see where I end up
20:05Okay
20:09Okay so minus 10
20:12So that's minus 19
20:13Okay let's go for plus piss
20:17Go on minus again
20:19So I'm at minus 40
20:25Minus 51
20:30Oh no
20:31You love these minuses
20:33I have to plus my way out of it
20:35Minus 51
20:36Minus 40
20:37Minus 29
20:39Minus 29
20:40Minus 29
20:42Minus 29 divided by 14
20:44So it's basically negative 2
20:48No!
20:49Really loving the moment
20:50There's shut up!
20:51Okay
20:52Negative 5
20:55Negative 5 divided by 14
20:57Roughly 0.3
20:59No Alice
21:00So I'm at negative 3.3
21:01I'm just gonna go for a piss to
21:04Feel free to go for a piss at any time
21:06There we go
21:08Come on!
21:09That's it!
21:10That's it!
21:11What are you going for?
21:12Five
21:13She's looking for piss
21:15Free to go
21:16Plus hey
21:17She's in
21:20Thank you Alice
21:21Feel free to piss any time
21:27Well done on being the only contestant
21:29To write down their numbers
21:31Thank you!
21:32I don't trust Paul
21:34I gotta say
21:35Mrs. Beard would be very impressed
21:38I see you went for the Van Beek technique early
21:40Which is to go into the negatives
21:41Yeah
21:42I mean I wouldn't call that a technique
21:43So much as a catastrophic event
21:47Shall we have a look at the scores Paul?
21:48Alice
21:49Extremely impressive
21:50The target was 43
21:52She got to 42.6
21:57Where does that leave the scores?
21:58One point for Jackie
21:59Two points for Pax
22:00Three points for Brie
22:01Four points for Jack
22:02And five points for Alice Sneddon
22:08I am craving another task Paul
22:11I know how tangry you get
22:14It's hangry but for tasks
22:17So let's get the party started
22:19Ohhhh
22:20Paul
22:21Hi Paul
22:22Yes please
22:23That's wrong
22:24Ohhhh
22:25Paul
22:26Hi Paul
22:27Yes please
22:28That's wrong
22:29Ohhhh
22:30Yes please
22:31Yes please
22:32That's wrong
22:33That's wrong
22:36Ohhhh
22:37Ohhhh
22:38Ohhhh
22:39Ohhhh
22:40Ohhhh
22:45Perform a party trick
22:47Most impressive party trick wins
22:50Your party trick cannot last more than 30 seconds
22:54You have until the studio record of episode 8
22:59Your time starts now
23:00Can you do any party tricks currently?
23:03I can dislocate my left shoulder
23:05You want to see that?
23:06No not at all
23:09Can you hit my hand?
23:10Ahhhh
23:12You son of a bitch Paul
23:20Pretty cool eh?
23:21Really good
23:24Oh this is going to be fun
23:25So how long have these guys had to prepare their party tricks?
23:27At least five weeks
23:29Alright I think we're going to start with Brie
23:31Oh no
23:32Ok Brie so go up on the stage
23:33Perform your trick
23:40Wow
23:42Woohoo
23:44Woohoo
23:45Woohoo
23:52Wow
23:53Oh
23:54Yeah
23:55Woohoo
23:56Woohoo
23:57Woohoo
23:59Woohoo
24:00Oh
24:01Woohoo
24:03Oh
24:04Woohoo
24:05See don't stop
24:08Don't stop.
24:14I'd hate to follow that act, to be honest.
24:17Alice?
24:18Oh, come on.
24:19You're up next.
24:20All right.
24:21Go, Alice.
24:25This is a game of three card Monty.
24:27These are also cherries.
24:29I will be tying a knot on this while we do it.
24:33Anything in there?
24:35She's wearing a wire.
24:38OK, so this is going in.
24:41So all you need to do is follow the queen.
24:47See that?
24:47Mm-hmm.
24:48You want to see that?
24:49There we go.
24:50OK, don't lose concentration.
24:52All right?
24:53Where's the queen?
24:57Whoa!
24:59And there you go.
25:03Isn't that incredible?
25:04It's not it.
25:05Let's go!
25:07OK.
25:08PAX is up next.
25:17Oh.
25:22I kind of did it.
25:23So you went on each finger?
25:24I went on each finger.
25:25Shall I try one more time?
25:26I think you just need to explain that you're doing each finger.
25:28Well, I wouldn't have need to explain it if I nailed it.
25:40Jackie, would you like to go up and perform your party drink?
25:43Happy to.
25:44I did it.
25:46I did it!
25:46I did it!
25:46I did it!
25:47I did it!
25:48All right.
25:49I did it!
25:54I did it!
25:56Oh
26:26Oh shit!
26:37The reverse striptease.
26:41Yeah.
26:42So as a party trick, you turn up undressed?
26:45I tend to, yeah.
26:47Jack Ansett.
26:48Yes Jeremy.
26:49Your party trick.
26:51So for my party trick Jeremy, I made a Facebook event for my 27th birthday party.
26:59It was a dress up party.
27:00And I invited about a hundred so people to it on Facebook.
27:06And the trick part was, all of those people knew that the party wasn't real.
27:12Except for Paul.
27:16I guess we play the clip.
27:21Well, you're okay.
27:29I'm sorry.
27:30I'm sorry.
27:31I'm sorry.
27:40Oh, you're okay.
27:42So what was your party trick?
27:46So what was your party trip?
27:50That there's no one here.
27:53You happy with that?
27:55Yeah.
27:57Thanks Paul.
28:01I'm very happy.
28:04Thank you Jack.
28:07Wow, that all went according to the plan I think.
28:16Paul looked genuinely angry about that.
28:20Yeah.
28:21How long were you wearing the costume for?
28:23So...
28:24Tell him Paul.
28:25I was going into the Taskmaster office that day
28:27and decided to save time I would wear the costume all day.
28:32I saw you that day.
28:35And I felt bad that you hadn't been invited to Jack's birthday.
28:40Okay, so one point for Pax.
28:43Two points for Alice and her magic trick.
28:46I think three points for Brie.
28:49Four points for Jackie Van Beek and the reverse burlesque.
28:54And I'll say five points for Jack Ansett's party trick trick party.
28:58Thank you Jeremy.
29:00Well earned.
29:01Well earned.
29:02The party don't stop until we need to fulfill our contractual obligations to advertisers.
29:07Which is right now.
29:08See you soon.
29:23Kia ora anĆ.
29:24Welcome back to Taskmaster.
29:25If you're just tuning in you've just missed out on watching Jackie Van Beek get dressed.
29:30I'd like another task please Paul.
29:32Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones but those in paper towers shouldn't be on a trampoline.
29:38Hello.
29:39Oh hello Paul.
29:40Hello Jackie.
29:41G'day Paul.
29:42Hello Brie.
29:43Hello Alice.
29:44Hey Paul.
29:45Hello Jack.
29:46Oh the old trampoline.
29:48Hello Pax.
29:49I had a trampoline like this when I was a kid actually.
29:51Really?
29:52You've got to have the net these days.
29:53Or what?
29:54Like because once I was on here when I was a kid and then I fell and landed in the middle
29:59of one of these springs.
30:00It's actually quite triggering for me but anyway.
30:01Righty build the toilet...
30:02Build the toilet...
30:23Build the tallest toilet paper tower.
30:28Toilet paper tower, there's the toilet paper, toilet paper, in the middle of this trampoline.
30:32Tallest toilet paper tower wins.
30:34That's a tongue twister, Paul.
30:35You have 10 minutes.
30:38Your time starts now.
30:45Do I have to?
30:46Yeah.
30:46I was fascinated, Jack, that you had a spring trampoline, because I just kind of thought
30:54your general belligerence was the result of that generation of yours being cotton wool
30:59parented.
31:00No, my mum didn't give a f***.
31:03She was too busy, you know, inside with her chardonnay.
31:07Just, sorry, she's here.
31:08She's here tonight.
31:10I was just about to say, your mother is here.
31:12I think she did the best with what she was given.
31:14Yeah.
31:16Fair point.
31:17Who's up first book?
31:18They have the same birthday and nearly the same name.
31:22It's Jackie and Jack A.
31:25Is this all the toilet paper that you have available to me?
31:28You think you need more than that?
31:29Yeah.
31:31Okay.
31:31I'll be back.
31:33Can you give me a hand, please?
31:34Because I'm going to lift all of this onto the...
31:37I'm not going to help you with that, sorry.
31:39Are there any other toilets in here?
31:44Okay.
31:45Toilet's down.
31:47Toilet, toilet.
31:49Aha!
31:50I need, like, a big circular kind of ring.
31:53Okay.
31:54Yeah.
31:55Okay.
31:56In hindsight, that wasn't worth it.
31:57But I'm going to get started.
31:59If someone could do a shop, because there's no toilet paper left in the house.
32:02Oh, this is good.
32:03This is better than mine.
32:04How much time do I have?
32:05Seven minutes and 34 seconds.
32:07Oh my god, okay.
32:07You want to have that central.
32:09Yeah.
32:10Kind of equidistant from kind of these ends and these ends.
32:13Gotcha.
32:13This is just a tip for you if you ever want to do this.
32:16Oh, shit.
32:16I need something to make sure it doesn't fall over.
32:19Do you have a problem with this?
32:20No.
32:21Sweet.
32:21When you said you're not going to help, which I find cruel and unfair, would you be able
32:26to pass me the toilet rolls?
32:27Okay.
32:28So you think that's a toilet paper tower?
32:30Yes, Paul.
32:31Okay.
32:31Just pass them nicely and quickly, please.
32:35Not too quickly, hold on.
32:36Sorry.
32:37All right, get off.
32:39Okay.
32:40Yes!
32:41So now, you see?
32:42You know, they didn't build Rome in a day, Paul.
32:45And you're giving me seven minutes.
32:46You actually had ten minutes, but you spent the first two minutes getting one and a half
32:50rolls of toilet paper from your toilet.
32:52What I'm going to do is I'm going to actually take height off.
32:54So you're not going to add to the height.
32:56You're just going sort of girth.
32:58Could you just come over here so I can touch your shoulder, please?
33:00Yes.
33:00Ready?
33:01Oh, I can just do.
33:04And it's all about being quite kind of polite to the tower, like going,
33:07Oh, do you feel okay?
33:11Do I go one more?
33:12I need to stand on some.
33:1412 seconds.
33:23Jag, you didn't think it was an overestimation of your abilities when you looked at that giant
33:28tower and you thought, you know what?
33:29I need three more rolls.
33:30Yeah.
33:31I think it's an oversight on the production staff that they only allowed one and a half
33:35toilet rolls for, what, 30 crews?
33:37How are the heights, Paul?
33:41Jackie, one meter twenty-nine.
33:44Jack, one meter forty-three.
33:46Oh, nice.
33:47Okay.
33:48Up next, you've heard of a six pack.
33:50Well, here's a one packs.
33:53I feel like sunning my arsehole right now.
33:55What does that mean?
33:57Like I point my butthole to the sun.
33:59How are you spelling sun?
33:59Just because we are filming this.
34:08S-U-N, man.
34:09Okay, S-U-N.
34:12I'm not going to point my arsehole at him, small boy.
34:14Okay, well, I just want to clarify.
34:16That is...
34:17Have you started the time?
34:18Yeah, you have eight minutes and fifty-five.
34:19Oh, shit, man.
34:24How much time do I have?
34:25Seven and a half minutes.
34:27Yeah, it's heaps of time.
34:28You've got six and a half minutes.
34:30Shut up.
34:31How much time do I have left?
34:32Five minutes.
34:33Oh, my God, bro.
34:38How much time do I have?
34:39One minute and fifty-eight seconds.
34:41No, no.
34:55This actually works, dude.
34:57Paul, try it with me.
34:58Does it still work if there's no boy?
35:03There's an entire camera crew over there.
35:06And I guarantee you, all the men are sons.
35:10Either way, it'll work.
35:11Trust me.
35:12I'm on the clock.
35:14You're twenty seconds.
35:15You don't want to just stack one on top of the other.
35:18All right.
35:18For you.
35:26So, the message packs that you're sending your children and future generations is that when the going gets tough,
35:32sun your arsehole.
35:33Yeah.
35:34It's quite hairy down there, so it is difficult for it to get in.
35:38It is quite rainforesty down there.
35:40Yes.
35:40How tall was Pax's tower?
35:43Twenty-three centimetres.
35:46More toilet paper towers, please, Paul.
35:48It's the ladies and the tramp.
35:50It's Bree and Alice.
35:51That's good.
35:53Should we do a quick game of Crack the Egg?
35:55You've only got nine minutes, fifty.
35:57Yeah, that'd be kind of fun.
35:58Do you want to just give me a hand with this?
36:00No, sorry.
36:00Double bounce.
36:03Just come grab the other end of this.
36:05I'm not going to grab the other end of that.
36:06Come on, Paul!
36:07Paul, please.
36:08No, that's the sort of whole part of the task.
36:11Oh, f*** sake, Paul.
36:12This is such a waste.
36:14We'll use it.
36:15You don't reuse this.
36:16What do you mean, reuse?
36:19You cracked me.
36:20If that was the challenge, I feel like I'd win.
36:22What are you going for here?
36:25I'm going through the middle of the tramp.
36:26Wow.
36:27Where'd you get all this toilet paper from?
36:29Did you stockpile it during COVID?
36:31Yeah.
36:32How tall have other people gotten?
36:34I reckon PAX is about six foot.
36:36Are you a folder or a cruncher?
36:38I'd rather not say.
36:40There's no way you reused this toilet paper.
36:42How come?
36:43Because it's clean.
36:44You're 100% a folder.
36:46We don't use it and then reuse it for the task.
36:49I bet you get clean wipes.
36:51We reuse it and then it flushes.
36:53So you're going to wipe your bum with this?
36:56Big time.
36:58Do I have to be off the trampoline, Paul?
37:01All the information you need is in the task.
37:03I knew you were going to say that.
37:08What's up?
37:09Can I rip a hole in the tramp?
37:10That's all right.
37:16We've got time.
37:16How much time, Paul?
37:17One minute and 15 minutes.
37:18Not that much time.
37:20I'm happy to not rip a hole in the trap.
37:22As long as you can guarantee me that this counts as one full tower.
37:26Oh, no.
37:27Oh, no.
37:28Disaster has struck.
37:29I need your word that this counts as one tower.
37:32Otherwise, I'm ripping a hole.
37:33What's the time?
37:34You've got 52 seconds.
37:35Okay.
37:36So you have five seconds.
37:37I shouldn't have stood up.
37:38That's a bad idea.
37:39Oh, my God.
37:42Three.
37:42I don't think you can even rip a hole that fast.
37:44I told myself I wasn't going to get flustered today.
37:47I'm flustering.
37:49Are you going to try and rip a hole?
37:51Oh, f***.
37:5229 seconds.
37:54Oh, you bastard.
37:56Are you trying to saw a hole with a chalice?
37:59Oh, my God.
38:01Yes.
38:02Five seconds.
38:04Should I go for one more, Paul?
38:05How's that, Paul?
38:12It's good.
38:13You happy with that?
38:14Yeah.
38:15You want to measure it?
38:16I usually measure once you've left.
38:21Of course you do.
38:22And what if the taskmaster says it's two different dollars?
38:26Well, then we'll have to fight.
38:34Thank you, Alice.
38:35No worries.
38:37Thank you, Bree.
38:38Thank you, Paul.
38:39Oh, God.
38:44Bree, it's good to finally meet someone like me
38:47who assesses every person they meet
38:48as either a scruncher or a folder.
38:50Can you say what all of us are?
38:53Absolutely.
38:54I've got a real gift for it.
38:55Okay.
38:55Folder.
38:56Folder.
38:57Don't.
39:01Strangely, I'm getting a B-Day vibe from you.
39:03I don't know why.
39:05Folder, folder.
39:06Am I correct?
39:07Yeah, correct.
39:08A hundred percent.
39:09I'm straight into the bathtub.
39:12Should we look at some heights?
39:13Stats.
39:13Yeah, let's do that.
39:16I mean, I could chat toilet paper all night,
39:18to be honest, but...
39:19Bree, one metre, five.
39:22Alice's, do you count that as one tower?
39:25So there was a bottom part underneath the tramp, right?
39:27Yes.
39:27And then that was touching the tramp,
39:29and then there were a whole lot more on top of the tramp?
39:32Yes.
39:32Yeah, I'd count that as one.
39:33Okay.
39:34That's a tower.
39:35With that being accepted,
39:36Alice's tower was one metre 87.
39:39Ooh.
39:40Ooh.
39:41Still not that high.
39:43Which means one point for Pax,
39:45two points for Bree,
39:47three points for Jackie,
39:48four points for Jack,
39:49and five points for Alice Sneddon.
39:53Next up,
39:54the greatest live task
39:56in the history of this episode.
39:59But first some ads.
40:00We'll see you shortly.
40:00Yeah.
40:01Yeah.
40:01Yeah.
40:01Yeah.
40:02Yeah.
40:02Yeah.
40:02Yeah.
40:03Yeah.
40:03Yeah.
40:04Yeah.
40:04Yeah.
40:04Yeah.
40:05Yeah.
40:05Yeah.
40:06Welcome back to Taskmaster.
40:17Almost time for our live task,
40:19but first, Paul,
40:20let's get a little score update.
40:22Leading the pack with 20 points,
40:24it's Jack.
40:26Ooh.
40:27Can you believe it?
40:29It's Jack's episode to lose.
40:31All right, contestants,
40:32please head up to the stage
40:33for our final task of the show.
40:35Okay, Paul,
40:39who's re-in the task tonight?
40:41Bree Tomasell.
40:42Here we go.
40:43Burst the balloon six seconds
40:45after Paul says burst.
40:48Crack the soda can six seconds
40:50after Paul says crack.
40:52Pop the champagne six seconds
40:54after Paul says pop.
40:55Or bang the confetti six seconds
40:58after Paul says bang.
41:00Closest to the time wins.
41:01Closest to the time wins.
41:01There are four rounds.
41:03You may only do one action per round.
41:06Your time from each round will be combined.
41:09If you do the wrong action,
41:10you will be given a 20-second penalty.
41:14Oh.
41:15What does that mean?
41:15Can you say that again?
41:16So burst, crack, pop, bang.
41:21So just to clarify...
41:22Can you say it one more time?
41:25Okay, we've really upset him.
41:27Are you ready for round one?
41:28Ready.
41:28I was walking down the street
41:30when I felt a blast of wind
41:32shoot past me.
41:34Boom.
41:34It set off a snap
41:35and hit me like some champagne.
41:37I married a rat.
41:39Clang, snap, crack, launch confetti.
41:41I felt like a balloon exploding.
41:43Rapture and fracture.
41:44It's time for a soda.
41:55Round two.
41:56It's time for a soda.
41:57Swoosh.
41:58Marry a rat.
41:59Step on a snap.
42:00Explode.
42:01When I blast confetti,
42:02I drink soda pop.
42:03Snap the concrete
42:04and shoot the champagne.
42:06Four.
42:07Five.
42:07Six.
42:08I felt like a balloon exploding.
42:10Rapture and fracture.
42:13God!
42:17That was hard.
42:18Round three.
42:19I shot a glance
42:20at a glass of champagne.
42:22Boom.
42:22Confetti fills the sky.
42:24I crack a smile
42:25and snap my fingers.
42:26Smack.
42:26A balloon hits me.
42:28This song is a bop.
42:29The champagne pours
42:30and the soda flies.
42:32Can you do the can-can?
42:33Yes, I can.
42:36You must do one action each round.
42:38I did.
42:39I did.
42:40Alice?
42:41Alice?
42:41Alice?
42:41Alice?
42:45Okay, this is the final round.
42:48Oh, my gosh.
42:48Crash.
42:50Bang.
42:50I hit the bottle like a drum.
42:52Do the balloon.
42:53Open the can.
42:53Give me confetti.
42:54I want champagne now.
42:56Blast.
42:57Boom.
43:01Go, Pax.
43:02I think mine's broken.
43:04You have to twist it.
43:05Which way?
43:06So you follow the arrows.
43:07One hand goes one way,
43:08one hand goes the other way.
43:10Down here.
43:10Down here.
43:11All right, come on down
43:13and we'll score it.
43:20Let's assign some values
43:21to these people's efforts.
43:22So, the first round was a can.
43:25Second round, champagne.
43:27Third round, can.
43:29Fourth round, confetti.
43:30So now the total time difference
43:32across the four rounds.
43:34Alice was off by 27 seconds,
43:37but she was correct 100% of the time.
43:39That's good.
43:40Pax, 29 seconds,
43:42but again, correct 100% of the time.
43:44Jack, 14 seconds.
43:46Ooh.
43:47Jackie, 12 seconds.
43:49Ooh.
43:50Ooh.
43:50Both correct 100% of the time.
43:53How did we do it?
43:54Brie was only five seconds difference,
43:58but was wrong twice.
44:00Oh.
44:02Right.
44:02So with the two 20-second penalties,
44:05her time difference was 45 seconds.
44:07Oh.
44:08That means one point for Brie,
44:11two points for Pax,
44:12three points for Alice,
44:13four points for Jack,
44:14and five points for Jackie Van Beek.
44:17How did she do it?
44:19Unreal.
44:20Okay.
44:21So what does that mean for our episode?
44:23That means,
44:24for the first time in his life,
44:26the winner of episode eight
44:28is Jack Ansett.
44:29Woo!
44:31Oh, God.
44:32Oh, my God.
44:33Well done.
44:35Congratulations, Jack.
44:36You are now the proud owner
44:38of some things Paul would love to have,
44:40but he can't.
44:41Head up on the stage
44:42and take your bounty.
44:45Thanks, everyone.
44:46We'll see you next time.
44:48Paul Maree.
44:48Curtains up.
45:09Light the lights.
45:10It's opening night.
45:11I'm back for more!
45:17Kind of beautiful, kind of poetic if you think about it.
45:23I went for harmony.
45:24Oh, I don't know what that means.
45:27So this is sort of the scene like one day more in Les Mis.
45:30It's only one day more!
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