- 4 months ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Previously...
00:01Latoya!
00:02How are you?
00:03So good to see you.
00:04It's been a while.
00:05This is my friend group.
00:06Latoya, what's her name?
00:08Shaniqua.
00:09Helena, nice to meet you.
00:10I'm trying to recall, where do we know each other?
00:13We said we're gonna have more date nights.
00:15I would like to include my mom.
00:17Oh, God.
00:19Would you consider marriage counseling?
00:22Couples counseling ain't gonna maximize its potential.
00:25Let me focus on personal therapy.
00:27When you come home, I leave.
00:29Since he's found out that I was dating a younger man,
00:32Nico's not talking to me.
00:33So I didn't want to get, like, super dressed up,
00:35still be cute, chic.
00:37Girl, it's giving cutesy, okay?
00:39Not cutesy, I'm not five.
00:41Well, you look about 11.
00:44Give her some apple juice.
00:45You have one more time to mention something
00:47about some apple juice before I start going in.
00:51Every single time I come around, it's,
00:53oh, you look 11.
00:54Oh, you drinking apple juice?
00:56And you start saying it consistently over and over,
00:58and over again.
00:59I've said it twice.
01:00Can you come up with another joke?
01:01I won't come up with no jokes with you.
01:03Oh, look at us!
01:04That's cute!
01:05I'm gonna put that in our adventure book.
01:06I picked the dugout for Jordan and I to have date night.
01:07Because he's athletic, he's young.
01:08I want him to have fun.
01:09Let's go.
01:10Even though I don't play baseball.
01:11Let's go.
01:12Let's go.
01:13Even though I don't play baseball.
01:14Some people might think that I'm confused because I did lose my husband, and they might think
01:17I'm grieving, and that's why I'm grieving, and that's why I'm dating Jordan.
01:18But I've dated other people since my husband.
01:19I don't know.
01:20Let's go.
01:21Let's go.
01:22Let's go.
01:23Let's go.
01:24Let's go.
01:25Let's go.
01:26Let's go.
01:27Let's go.
01:28Let's go.
01:29Let's go.
01:31Let's go.
01:32Let's go.
01:33Let's go.
01:34Let's go.
01:35Let's go.
01:36Let's go.
01:37Let's go.
01:38Let's go.
01:39Let's go.
01:40Let's go.
01:41Let's go.
01:42Let's go.
01:43Let's go.
01:44Let's go.
01:45Let's go.
01:46Let's go.
01:47Let's go.
01:48You know, I realize that life goes on.
01:50But with Jordan, it was a feeling that I had not experienced since my husband died.
01:55Watch it.
01:56There you go.
01:56Okay, coach.
01:57So it's just sort of like magnetic connection.
02:00Thank you, Lord.
02:00We here six months later.
02:03Still, he'll stand strong.
02:04I was very insecure when I found out your age.
02:07You didn't want to kill nobody.
02:09I didn't want nobody to know.
02:11So what would you do, like, when I'm 60 and you're 40?
02:16How I feel about you now, it's going to be the same in 15.
02:19You sure about that?
02:20Because I'm going to age.
02:21I'm going to look different.
02:22I ain't going to be as fine, as pretty.
02:25I'm going to have wrinkles.
02:27How?
02:27How you going to make sure?
02:28You got to stay in that gym.
02:29Play in that gym.
02:30So what if Nico still live with me?
02:32I don't know what he going to do.
02:37Jordan.
02:38You have a grown man in your house.
02:39Get him downstairs.
02:41My thing is, if we're going to be together, we can't just...
02:43How long will Nico...
02:43How long will he be staying here?
02:44I don't know.
02:46That's my point.
02:47Like, at some point...
02:47But, Jordan, you can't compare him to you.
02:49Y'all are something different.
02:50But I'm like, you can't keep providing for him.
02:52At some point, man, you got to get it together, bro.
02:54I know as a woman, you're, like, more emotional.
02:57But, like, you got to have some tough love at the end of the day.
03:01I do.
03:02I try.
03:02You don't.
03:03You really don't.
03:04I feel like Nico has a lot of potentials.
03:06But, at the same time, some people need a little more time for it to click.
03:11I don't want to discredit the person that he is, because he literally put his life on
03:14hold with no diet.
03:15How did he put his life on hold?
03:16He had to step in and be a daddy to his sisters.
03:19They didn't have nobody.
03:20He was the only person they knew that was a male figure in their house.
03:24So...
03:24What is he doing outside of that?
03:25He's not about that.
03:26He's breathing, too.
03:27I feel like you make a lot of excuses.
03:30I'm just...
03:30That's just me.
03:30He helps me.
03:32He does.
03:32He helps me out.
03:33So, like, be gentle a little bit about that.
03:36Like, damn.
03:36I'm not...
03:37Like I said, I'm not trying to...
03:38Like, so...
03:39Ryan Ross.
03:41Jordan, he's so hard.
03:42I don't like it at all.
03:44Like, I'm okay with nurturing my son, my daughters, until they're ready to face the world.
03:49It's hard being a black man in America right now.
03:51And Nico, I don't want to just throw him out to the wolves.
03:55I would really love for Jordan to understand that.
03:57But that's what happens when you're dating a man that's 17 years younger than you are.
04:01Yeah, that's going to be a challenge for us.
04:03I'm done.
04:23Hi, Miss Sylvia.
04:25Thank you for taking this call.
04:27I just...
04:28I've been working all day at the restaurant.
04:31But I've kind of had, like, a really heavy heart on just a matter that took place with one of the girls.
04:39The crawfish event is triggering because growing up, I was always the bigger kid in the class.
04:45So anything I said, no matter how much love I put into it, no matter how much someone else said the exact same thing,
04:52what I said always felt like it was offensive, and that was never the intent.
04:56So it's important for me to stop what I was doing and contact Miss Sylvia immediately.
05:03Myself, Manera, and Ro all met up.
05:07And Manera is normally dressed up.
05:10But on this day, I saw her in a really nice jogging suit and some Jordans.
05:15And so I'm like, you look cutesy.
05:17Her immediate response was, cutesy?
05:20I'm not five.
05:21Right.
05:22So the next day, Labrina hosted a beautiful crawfish ball at her house.
05:27I hadn't even sat down before Manera.
05:30It was like, yesterday, you basically called me 11 years old.
05:33She was like, you're just not getting it.
05:35You don't know what her past is.
05:37You know, cutesy could have been something for her that was triggering.
05:41True.
05:42And for you, it's just natural because that's your personality.
05:46Right.
05:46I never thought of it like that.
05:48But I still feel like there's layers of Manera that she's not uncovering.
05:53And the one time she is expressive, it was like a room.
05:59So what do you think this is going to do to the dynamics of the group of friends?
06:03Having a safe space is needed.
06:05And you can sit in a group of women and still not feel safe.
06:09And I want to feel safe.
06:10And I want others to feel safe, too.
06:12Exactly.
06:13The friendship amongst the ladies, it's feeling a little broken.
06:17So I'm thinking like, maybe it's time I introduce Miss Sylvia to the group.
06:23So if I get the ladies together, would you be open to coming and chatting with all of us
06:29and hearing our hearts?
06:31Of course.
06:32But as long as they're comfortable with me being there, of course I would.
06:36We can make that happen.
06:37Perfect.
06:39I appreciate it.
06:39I'll definitely get them together and send you over a date and all that good stuff.
06:45Okay.
06:45Sounds good.
06:46Thank you, Miss Sylvia.
06:48You're welcome.
06:49All right.
06:49See you soon.
06:50Okay.
06:51All right.
06:51Bye-bye.
06:53I'm not this good at Zoom.
06:56Bye, Miss Sylvia.
06:57I did suggest for Norm, my mom, and myself to go out on a date, and I'm happy that they
07:11agreed to it.
07:12I really think that it's important to have all three of us go out because we have to live
07:17with each other, and it's definitely been difficult for my mom and Norm to get to a common ground
07:22because both of them are so stubborn, y'all.
07:24Let me get this chair for you right here, mom.
07:26Aw.
07:28You're welcome.
07:28They are two people I love, but honestly, it just makes me feel weird because I'm always
07:33caught in the middle in every situation.
07:35Look at us.
07:36Yeah, so what order and what?
07:38You look like you're about to propose to me.
07:40Are you about to propose?
07:41No, I already made that mistake once.
07:42That was the best decision in your life.
07:45You know he likes the joke.
07:46He thinks he's a little comedian.
07:48Yeah, when he wants to be.
07:50Otherwise, he's so serious.
07:52Oh.
07:53Yeah.
07:54Because she would like to have a family discussion.
07:55Oh, but like I tell Manera, most of the time, I'm always thinking about business and
07:59what I have to do, so that's why my face looks like that.
08:03I'm not really mad about it.
08:04For 10 years?
08:06It's a lot of business.
08:07But when you walk around like that, it could come across as something's wrong or you're
08:13pissed off at somebody.
08:15One of the reasons why I really love the idea of us just spending more time together is because
08:19sometimes I feel that it's difficult for me to be in the middle of you two.
08:25I'm kind of finding it hard to balance between being present in the home with y'all, with the
08:32kids, work, and sometimes I feel like I don't know if I'm letting y'all down, and then y'all
08:39start getting upset and mad and angry, and I don't know if y'all get mad and angry at
08:43me or y'all just...
08:45No, nobody gets mad at you.
08:48You're working.
08:48You're not playing around.
08:50You're doing for your kids, sacrificing.
08:53Like I'm excelling in one aspect of the career.
08:57I don't want to make sure that I'm failing somewhere else.
08:59Growing up, I really never saw myself being a wife, having a marriage, and let alone being
09:05a mother.
09:06So now that I have all those things, I really want to make sure that I'm always pouring
09:10into my kids.
09:11And I know a lot of times when we're working and we're just on that grind mode, we don't
09:14necessarily realize that time away from the kids is really affecting them in all areas.
09:20Everybody knows when you have your own business that you have to work 24-7.
09:24That's why you have your mother.
09:26That's why you have me.
09:26You can start paying me.
09:31I don't ever want it to seem like that's your responsibility.
09:36Like at the end of the day, I appreciate you being there, but...
09:40You know, that's what grandparents do.
09:42I know.
09:42And if you want to do that, that's fine.
09:44But I don't want you to ever feel like that's your responsibility.
09:47I would do anything for them.
09:50Anything.
09:51No, we know that.
09:51But mom, I know I don't tell you just enough, though, but I really appreciate you.
09:57Oh, you're welcome.
09:58You're welcome.
09:58Anytime.
09:59I'm very proud of you, too.
10:01Wow, thanks.
10:02You do an amazing job with the girls, to tell you the truth.
10:05I have never seen any man, and I'm truly blessed to have a son-in-law like you, because you love my daughter, and you take care of her and my grandchildren.
10:18That's a job I take very seriously.
10:19I couldn't see my daughter marrying anybody else but you.
10:23Isn't this beautiful?
10:25It's like a weight lifted off my shoulder, because just moving quickly on a day-to-day basis, sometimes you don't realize that we're blessed to have a village that we have.
10:33I would like to give myself a pat on the back, because I think this was a very successful day and night.
10:38Me and mom is going to go bingo, so...
10:40Bingo.
10:40Yeah, we're going to go bingo.
10:41And then McDonald's.
10:42McDonald's?
10:43We're going to McDonald's first and make bingo.
10:45Coming up, you haven't been communicating.
10:48Because you dated somebody literally four years old.
10:52What did I have to do with anything?
10:54That's weird.
10:54What is wrong with me?
10:55Nothing is wrong with you.
10:56Since we analyzed it.
10:57Nothing is wrong with you.
10:58Because there's a lot of wrong with you.
11:00I didn't hurt you.
11:01I didn't trick you.
11:02Like, why were we intensely talking?
11:04It's just talking to me as if I am not a grown woman.
11:08I am not 19.
11:10If you want to bring a new friend and we want to ask her a question, we can ask her a question.
11:13And I'm here for all the questions, because I have the receipts.
11:16You printed this out.
11:17Bitch, it's nowhere.
11:18Bitch.
11:18You printed this out.
11:21Bitch, it's nowhere.
11:22Bitch.
11:34Man, my son didn't graduated this year, man.
11:36So proud of him.
11:37Didn't see you turn into a man so fast, man.
11:39Hey, y'all.
11:41Oh.
11:42How you doing?
11:42My friend, you all right?
11:43These kids.
11:46What happened now?
11:46So, oh, y'all hella cute.
11:49I'm in the game.
11:50I'm in the game.
11:51Okay.
11:52But no, like, literally, I just came from dealing with Pop, this child of mine.
11:59I have two children, Winter, who is three years old with my husband.
12:03My son, Brennan, we call him Pop, he's 15 years old.
12:08He lives part-time with his dad and part-time with me.
12:12Take it easy.
12:13We should.
12:13Bye.
12:14All right.
12:14So, what the teacher's saying, like...
12:16You know, his grades really like sleeping.
12:19And we didn't play that here.
12:21Here, he had good grades.
12:22At our house, there are rules, there are regulations.
12:25That's it.
12:26But at his dad's house, there's a lot more freedom, leniency.
12:30So, in terms of the co-parenting, it kills me to be like, okay, yeah, you can go every weekend
12:38because there's so many things that are lacking.
12:41It's not okay.
12:42We need to figure this thing out immediately.
12:45I mean, it's normal.
12:46As any kid, you want to be with your dad.
12:49But we had a crossroad for him because time is of the essence.
12:54I tell him all the time, we're asking you to make the right decisions, to choose the best thing for you.
13:01We need the light bulb to go off.
13:03My life is not perfect.
13:05My husband's life is not perfect.
13:06And it's okay to have struggles and come up short sometimes.
13:11But still, I do hope Pop comes back to stay full-time just to get back on track
13:17and make sure that we're all on one accord for the success of his future.
13:23What is that beeping?
13:25It's the fire alarm, you know?
13:27Oh, you mean like the detector?
13:28Just look on a random person video.
13:30You're going to hear that.
13:32Listen if they're back.
13:33You're going to hear it, bitch, y'all.
13:44Hey, Romeo.
13:46You better stop peeing in this house.
13:49The last time Jordan and I went on a date, it was a bit stressful for me.
13:53I ended up crying over Nico.
13:55You want some wine?
13:57Jordan feels like Nico should level up.
14:00And he's right.
14:01And the truth hurts.
14:03Sit.
14:04Sit.
14:05It's been a few days and Nico and I have not talked.
14:09I don't know if he's really mad about Jordan or what's going on.
14:12But we got some things that we need to iron out.
14:14Hey, what's up?
14:20Not much.
14:22Like, you haven't been communicating, so I'm just trying to see like what's up, what's going on with you.
14:27Because you dated somebody literally five, four years old.
14:31What do they have to do with anything?
14:32That's weird.
14:33Hey, that's not weird.
14:34It's weird.
14:35You can ask anybody.
14:37And we weird, too.
14:38That's like somebody that is a part of my life.
14:40So it is what it is.
14:41You don't have to be a part of it.
14:42I don't want to.
14:43That's fine.
14:45So I'm weird, but I have my life together.
14:47I'm trying.
14:47But when I was your age, I had my life together, too.
14:50All right.
14:50You don't recall?
14:51Not really.
14:5220.
14:52So you almost have...
14:53Yeah.
14:54Exactly.
14:54I was staying with my mom.
14:55I think you wasn't helping her do nothing.
14:57That's not true.
14:59All right.
14:59That's not true.
15:00Now I'm about to leave.
15:01Now that's not true.
15:02I was hustling.
15:02I was grinding.
15:03I was at school.
15:04I was trying to start a business.
15:04You ain't helping with my one bill, though.
15:07Nico knows what I've been through.
15:09And he's cutting my heart, like, wide open.
15:13Like, what?
15:15You making me feel like a failure.
15:17Okay, so it's me.
15:18I'm the problem.
15:18Yes, you are.
15:19So I get all the stuff I do.
15:20And so what is wrong with me?
15:22Nothing's wrong with you.
15:22Since we analyzing each other.
15:23Nothing is wrong with you.
15:24Because it's a lot of wrong with you.
15:27At your age, I'm taking care of a five-year-old.
15:29I had a job.
15:30What can you say about yourself?
15:32Look at me.
15:33What do I look like?
15:34What does that mean?
15:35A rapper, right?
15:35Yeah, I know.
15:36That's what I want to do.
15:37Okay, so if you want to rap, what are you doing to pursue your rap career?
15:40When the last time you went to the studio?
15:43That doesn't matter.
15:44I've been to the studio a couple weeks ago.
15:46Nico, I ain't heard you've been in the studio in years.
15:48But okay, a person that has a goal like that, they're working on their craft.
15:52If you don't become a rapper, what's your plan?
15:54What is your plan?
15:55I know you say you're going to become one, but everybody don't make it.
16:00That's what I want you to realize as your mother.
16:02I can start rapping tomorrow if I want to.
16:04You need to have a backup plan.
16:06Until you become a successful rapper, work.
16:09This is not how I expected this conversation to go between Nico and I,
16:12but I really don't know where we go from here.
16:15And I can only hope for the best, but it's not looking too good.
16:19You should believe.
16:20I do believe, but I ain't heard you make a video or no song in years.
16:25When's your last video?
16:26I don't even want to do this.
16:27Yeah.
16:28All right.
16:28All right.
16:29Well, bye.
16:29I want to appreciate you for all the love you have given us, and especially them, because
16:43they're doing well.
16:44And my old girl over here, she's doing pretty good, too.
16:48And you know, I'm trying to hold it down and keep my crown, Lord.
16:49So I want to thank you, and I appreciate you.
16:52Amen.
16:52Amen.
16:53I'm having a family dinner tonight, because this is not something that we do often.
16:58I think there is a handful of times that my parents are really in the same room.
17:03I didn't grow up seeing that.
17:05You know, like, they divorced when I was two.
17:07My dad has been married to my stepmom for, like, 30 years at this point.
17:11And my mom, she's no longer married.
17:14You don't have anything green on your plate.
17:16You have green on your plate, and you don't even eat it.
17:20There you go.
17:20It's for sure.
17:21It's for sure.
17:22I just wanted them to come together for the first time in a long time and have some dinner.
17:30Let's talk.
17:30Let's talk about life.
17:31And how is Miss Winter?
17:34Winter is three going on 35.
17:37How is Papa?
17:39Papa is good.
17:40He 15.
17:4215?
17:43Damn.
17:4415.
17:44Time is rolling.
17:45Before you know it, you'll have a college student.
17:48Mm-hmm.
17:48What do y'all think, like, is a good age for, like, a kid to leave home?
17:54About 18.
17:55To leave home?
17:57About when they graduate.
17:58When they graduate, you gotta go.
18:00Yeah!
18:01I'm not saying don't have a connection with home.
18:03I'm saying, get out.
18:05You know, do your thing.
18:06My daddy was in the streets already as a teenager.
18:10My mom was a teenage mom.
18:12Like, life came at them early.
18:14It came at them hard.
18:16I honestly don't think they knew any other way to parent.
18:21I feel like I just wasn't equipped to do that.
18:24Like, I was, like, one of them ones, like, hey, it's time for you to go.
18:28Nobody said, okay, let me sit you down.
18:30Let me show you what to expect.
18:32Okay, but...
18:33Don't let me finish.
18:34I had a kid at 19.
18:35So...
18:36There you go.
18:37Come on, girl.
18:38I'm gonna tell you, man.
18:39When you just 18...
18:39What age did you leave home?
18:43Papa wasn't even one.
18:44He was actually 10 months old when I got the ultimatum for him to go.
18:48There were rules in place, and when you don't follow the house rules, there are consequences.
18:57Coming up...
18:58I remember life was hard for me.
18:59I felt like there was no grace.
19:02I've been sitting on my true feelings for a very long time.
19:06It was so unpleasant.
19:07It was so unkind.
19:08It was so hard.
19:09So, yeah, it's...
19:15I'm telling you, man, when you just 18...
19:20What age did you leave home?
19:24Papa wasn't even one.
19:25He was actually 10 months old when I got the ultimatum for him to go.
19:29There were rules in place, and when you don't follow the house rules, there are consequences.
19:35I got pregnant with my son, Brennan Pop, at 19 years old.
19:39I lived with my mom and my stepdad at the time, and my mom said I needed to move out.
19:46I struggled as a young mother just because I didn't have the tools under my belt to thrive as an adult.
19:54I think the outcome, considering...
19:57That's right. That's pretty good.
19:59Not to take credit.
20:00I think the outcome literally has a lot to do with our ambition and drive of just who we are as individuals.
20:06Exactly.
20:06That's right.
20:07So y'all can count on that pretty good.
20:09No, no, no, no, no, no.
20:10No, no.
20:11Sometimes you end up molding yourself.
20:14My parents grew up on that tough love and figure it out mentality to themselves.
20:19For them, it's like, oh, you want to be grown? Be grown.
20:22So how I went from that girl to the woman I am today was trials, tribulations.
20:29We gonna get out of here, though.
20:30All right.
20:31Do me a cold.
20:32So you create a hard shell navigating through life because you're in survival mode.
20:39You're protecting yourself.
20:40You're just trying to get by.
20:41I remember life was hard for me.
20:43I felt like there was no grace during that period of trying to figure out life because nobody would really put theyself on the line for me to figure life out.
20:53I'm not trying to be defensive, and I understand what you're saying.
20:59You're not the only one that had a hard time figuring it out at 20 and 21.
21:06I mean, it happens.
21:08It was hard to get an apartment for a lot of us at that age.
21:11It was hard for a lot of us to raise a child on our own.
21:14But is there some things that I regret?
21:17Yes.
21:19Absolutely.
21:20You're entitled to feel however you feel.
21:24You know, I accept that.
21:25And I hold myself accountable for not being the best I could be at 20 and 21.
21:33But I feel like I was the best I could be up until that time.
21:37I could never imagine, you know, if Pop was like 18, 19 years old, whatever, and he would have to get out or he would have to leave just based on what life was like, figuring life out.
21:54And it was so unpleasant, it was so unkind, it was so hard, you know, because there was no blueprint that was given to me.
22:02Having a one-on-one, woman-to-woman conversation with my mom, I feel very relieved to tell my mom my perspective because I've been sitting on my true feelings for a very long time.
22:15I do agree things probably could have been different.
22:18One thing I can say that even the hardship of your young adult times, it was all done with love.
22:29It was never a thing where don't never come back to this house again.
22:34You could always come home.
22:35Whether you wanted to or not, you could.
22:38You didn't even want to be there.
22:40I know.
22:41We had to do what we had to do, you know, to get where we wanted to be.
22:51Mm-hmm.
22:54Hey, you.
22:55Hello.
22:57So happy that you made it here.
22:58Got a lot I want to share with you.
23:01With everything that's going on with all the ladies, personally, professionally, amongst each other, it was time we got together and had some peace.
23:10So I invited all the ladies to meet with Ms. Sylvia.
23:13How are you?
23:15I'm good.
23:15How are you?
23:15You look gorgeous.
23:17I think this is more so like a feels and heals.
23:21Feel what you feel so you can heal.
23:24So we don't have to stay stuck on the same things.
23:27Feel.
23:28Got a lot I want to share with you.
23:31Hello.
23:31LaToria is inviting us to this thing called feels and heals, and I got the heals, but I don't know about the feels.
23:38I'm not doing brunch.
23:40I just want to drink a little mimosa about my business.
23:42Hopefully, this will mend some of the broken pieces and tension within our friend group.
23:49I'm really excited to meet Ms. Sylvia and see what she has to say.
23:54I'm more excited to see what all the other girls are going through because sometimes these ladies can bottle up a lot of emotions that we never hear about.
24:03I can't beat on the person going through something.
24:05Hello.
24:06I know that there is a lot that we have to get off our chest, and I'm interested to see the bond that it's going to create.
24:13Good to see you.
24:15Coming into this, I'm already on edge because LaToria hasn't replied to my text.
24:19So I'm hoping that she doesn't think we need a mediator for us to talk.
24:24Hi, everybody.
24:25How are you?
24:26Hi.
24:27Sylvia, this is Manera.
24:28Nice to meet you.
24:30I'm not up for all of that drama.
24:34Coming up.
24:35You do not like being called cute.
24:36It's not the word.
24:37It's the word.
24:38I'm being for real right now.
24:39No, you don't like the word.
24:40Okay.
24:41I know I look young.
24:42You don't.
24:43Just like, ugh.
24:45Just like, ugh.
24:51Being on my healing journey, and Ms. Sylvia is my therapist, and so I was like, well, you know, I know there's been a lot going on in the group.
24:58And, you know, I just want us to be able to kind of open up, so that's why we're here.
25:03Thank you for asking me to come.
25:05No problem.
25:07So, ladies, I really, really appreciate you guys allowing me to sit in your group and talk to you and hear your stories.
25:16Let me tell y'all, I see you guys as a big puzzle, right?
25:20Each one of y'all are a puzzle piece.
25:22You're going to all touch each other in some way.
25:24When you fit into your spot where you're supposed to fit in, that's when the connection starts to happen.
25:30What's Erica Badu's song?
25:32Bag Lady?
25:33We all have some baggage that we bring to a friendship, a relationship.
25:37And so your feelings and emotions are valid.
25:40So what do y'all need and want to talk about today?
25:46So I'm currently experiencing right now, me and my husband are sleeping in separate rooms.
25:52I'm not my total self.
25:54He is not his total self.
25:55So I'm wanting us to work on ourselves individually and then come back together to where it's healthy.
26:02So how will you know if you're really stronger?
26:05He can take steps that will contribute to a healthier relationship.
26:10Do you think he knows the steps off?
26:12Oh, he knows.
26:13Elena's still being a little vague about what's going on with her and Josh, but I'm like, we're your friends.
26:18We're your girls.
26:18Like, open up.
26:19I do like how you're working on yourself because the only person that can make you happy is you.
26:25Take your mask off, baby.
26:26Take the makeup off.
26:27Let us see you.
26:28Like, let it out, Elena, because we've been wondering, what's the problem?
26:33What's the issue?
26:34What's the root of your pain?
26:36Is your marriage, nobody else's marriage.
26:39Nobody else's.
26:40To be quite honest, I'm holding things back to protect Josh.
26:44There are a lot of things that I am not saying.
26:46And so I think right now, I feel like we are just hoping for the best in therapy to heal and be able to stay in his marriage.
26:54Okay, it's that, but what else is it?
26:56And I know that there's other things that you don't feel comfortable talking about that you haven't discussed.
27:00Because I just don't like to share.
27:03But I will say that this has taken so much for me and has broken so much of my trust.
27:12Am I able to move on from this space?
27:15I don't know.
27:16Miss Ro, what about you?
27:18Um, me and my daughter are good.
27:20I think we have a pretty good relationship.
27:21She's like my best friend.
27:22It's just been near her since, you know, she's been born.
27:25How old is she?
27:26She's 12.
27:2712.
27:27She's going through that, like, that weird, I just started middle school.
27:30I'm trying to figure out who I am.
27:31Middle school is tough.
27:32That's the hardest part.
27:33Why nobody warned me?
27:34They are so mean.
27:36I used to teach seventh graders.
27:37They're mean.
27:38There's no one telling me to do this at this age.
27:40And, like, me and my mom didn't have the best relationship growing up, so I can't even really
27:44call her.
27:45Because she's going to tell me her way of her doing things, which is, like, the old way
27:48of things, like, give her a whooping or, like, you know, ground her for 30 years.
27:52I'm like, that didn't work for me, obviously, because I still was a badass.
27:54So, I don't know.
27:55Wait.
27:56I don't know.
27:56So, I just try to, like, learn how to parent her in a way that's more positive.
28:01Positive.
28:01So, just keep instilling in her who she is.
28:04Yeah.
28:05How about you?
28:06Oh, y'all.
28:08Shoot.
28:08It's okay.
28:09Take your time.
28:09That's okay.
28:10So, that's what this is all about.
28:12I was a...
28:13Hold on.
28:14All right.
28:15I was a young mom.
28:16I had my son at 19.
28:18Mm-hmm.
28:18And the strain on my relationship with my mom happened when I really needed, like, specific
28:28answers and guidance on being a young mom.
28:33Besides this old school saying of, well, you're gonna need to go get a job or you need to
28:39work harder.
28:40Yeah.
28:40You get out.
28:41You needed unconditional love.
28:43Yes.
28:43It also kind of hardened me because I was focused on surviving.
28:49But it did turn up my hustle times a million.
28:52There we go.
28:54So, really, it's made you stronger.
28:56Labrina, I think you said survival.
28:57You used the word survival.
28:59She did.
28:59And I just put myself in your mom's shoes, right?
29:02Mm-hmm.
29:02That stood out to me because I feel like I'm in survival mode.
29:07You know?
29:08And I'm going through that with my son.
29:11Because, I don't know, sometimes I feel like I blocked him out because he's grown, you know?
29:18You don't have to worry about him anymore because you've raised him.
29:21When you said that, I'm just like, you know, is that how my son feels?
29:26You know?
29:27When no died, I went into a mode where I was like, Labrina said survival mode, you know?
29:32I didn't care about how he felt.
29:35I had to figure out how the bills was gonna get paid.
29:37Like, not worry about how people feel.
29:40I didn't check on my son.
29:42And that, like, kills me.
29:44It eats me up inside.
29:46Is my life that chaotic to where my kids don't feel loved?
29:50You have to give yourself grace and you have to know that you're doing an amazing job.
29:55Every one of you have something personal, something in your business.
29:59How does this affect the dynamics of y'all's friendship?
30:03I think we're navigating.
30:05And obviously, you know, I'm very serious about my healing journey.
30:08Obviously, my grief journey with my dad.
30:12It's been a year since I lost my dad.
30:14He was my best friend.
30:16He was my biggest cheerleader.
30:17I miss my dad so much.
30:19This past year has been literally the toughest of my life.
30:23I am navigating through a journey without my advocate, my safe space, the shoulder for me to cry on.
30:31And it's so hard.
30:32It's very difficult.
30:34Some people don't even realize that they need the healing because if they've lived a certain life a certain way, it's natural for them.
30:42It's so natural.
30:43It's like second nature.
30:45Yeah, it's what they do.
30:47Exactly.
30:48So you've been being your authentic self.
30:50That's exactly what I've been doing.
30:51So how does that feel for you, though?
30:53Well, I don't know how to be anything but me, you know?
30:56And that's just the honest truth.
30:57So even when it comes to, like, my humor or giving a compliment or whatever the case may be.
31:03I mean, I think there's been some moments where perhaps the way I express, the way that I love, the way that I joke may have been received wrong.
31:13And so I think, you know, recently, Muneer and I had a moment.
31:20Coming up.
31:21I feel like there's a character assassination.
31:23What is going on?
31:24This is communication via email.
31:26That's 24-team.
31:28It doesn't matter the year.
31:29Do you know me or do you not?
31:32Do you know me or do you not?
31:33Perhaps the way I express, the way that I love, the way that I joke may have been received wrong.
31:44And so recently, Muneer and I had a moment when I caught her cutie.
31:48And after that took place, I wrote a letter to you.
31:52You mind if I read it?
31:57Sure.
31:58But I was, even before you get to the letter, um, in my mind, I left it there.
32:04And then after we left, I had reached out to you and sent you the message saying, I just want you to know I'm there for you.
32:10Right.
32:10I didn't get a response back.
32:12I needed time to process.
32:14Just was like, well, if I didn't hurt you, I didn't trigger you.
32:16Like, why were we intensely talking?
32:18It wasn't something that triggered me or bothered me, but it was something that was irritating.
32:22To hear it over and over and over again.
32:24You do not like being called cute.
32:26You don't like the word, because when I called you cute, I told myself that's the last time I'm going to call you cute.
32:30Because you were like, why I got to be cute?
32:32Okay, but this conversation is not about the word.
32:34It was something else that was even said.
32:35It's a word.
32:36I'm being for real right now.
32:37It's not just a word.
32:38No, you don't like the word.
32:39Okay.
32:40I know I look young, but when somebody repeats.
32:42You don't.
32:43Girl, I don't need you speaking for me, nor do I need you interrupting what I'm trying to say.
32:48I just, she's just like, ugh.
32:51She's just talking to me as if I am not a grown woman.
32:55I am married.
32:56I have multiple kids.
32:57I have businesses.
32:58Like, I am in my 40s.
33:00I am not 19.
33:02And the thing is, to you, it felt, oh, I'm getting tired of this.
33:05It wasn't enough respect.
33:06You're a woman.
33:07So for Latoria, that's how she just greets people.
33:11And so we're going to let Latoria read her letter to you.
33:13Okay.
33:14So it says, Demonera, I'm the kind of person that gives compliments.
33:18I like to see people smile.
33:20When I called you cutesy, it was sincere.
33:22I want you to know it wasn't shade, and I truly apologize.
33:25Perhaps I could have said I admire the way you look.
33:28This is a moment for us.
33:29We are both a part of the same best sorority in the world.
33:33And one of our principal messages is we help each other.
33:38So moving forward, we will apply that.
33:41I appreciate the letter.
33:42I really do.
33:43I honestly feel Latoria said what she needed to say, and I received it.
33:47And at this point, I'm just ready to move past it.
33:50How are you all feeling about this group right now?
33:52I love this group.
33:53I feel like we have such amazing connection.
33:57Being who we are, boss women, moms, wives.
34:01There's so much we can learn from each other.
34:03I honestly feel like this group is like a gumbo.
34:07If I had to say, right, don't you love a good gumbo?
34:10The root better be blacker than me.
34:13But no, I'm saying that to say every ingredient is needed in a gumbo.
34:18I like that.
34:19I feel really good about feels and heals.
34:22There were some tears.
34:24There were some layers removed.
34:26There was some healing.
34:27I should be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize at this point.
34:31Oh, yeah.
34:31Tonight, Khloe invited us to Single Ladies Night at Mocha Lounge, owned by four powerful black men in Houston.
34:52Good drinks, live music.
34:55It's time to get cutesy.
34:57Pause.
34:59Get cute.
35:01Feel good.
35:03And let's just go have some drinks.
35:05Hey, sexy mama.
35:07How are you?
35:09Good to see you.
35:10Come on.
35:11Yeah, yeah.
35:12How you doing?
35:12Girl, good.
35:13I am so excited about Ladies Night tonight.
35:21It's going to be me, Latoya Rowe, and Alayna, because she's kind of single.
35:24And I'm inviting a special guest.
35:26I hope the ladies love her.
35:27Hi, Rowe.
35:28How are you?
35:29Hi, ladies.
35:30Good to see you.
35:32Okay, look at me with a single lady.
35:34Girl, let your head down.
35:36You need a shot, yes.
35:37Shots?
35:37I do.
35:38Right here?
35:39I do.
35:39I have a surprise.
35:41I have a surprise.
35:41I love surprises.
35:42What's a surprise?
35:44Y'all ready?
35:45Oh, let me see.
35:47I invited somebody.
35:48Oh, you invited Jordyn.
35:49She's close.
35:51Listen, she isn't my therapist.
35:53It's a friend of mine who's also a friend of yours.
35:57Y'all kind of briefly know her.
35:58Y'all met her.
35:59I don't like new people.
36:00But she and I got really cool.
36:02Shaniqua, girl, from the rodeo.
36:05So y'all friends?
36:06That's crazy.
36:06I wouldn't say we're friends, but we got really cool.
36:09Like, Shaniqua's a vibe.
36:10When I first met Shaniqua at the rodeo, I enjoyed her spirit, her energy.
36:14You're cougaring.
36:17We're having, like, a single ladies night out.
36:19You gotta come and bring your energy.
36:21Yes, I can do that.
36:23Yes.
36:24I'm all about added value, and I feel like Shaniqua has that touch.
36:28Like, we need some more fun people around.
36:30Right now.
36:33Right now.
36:35How are we doing today?
36:36Yeah.
36:36How are you?
36:37Good to see you.
36:39Boy, why are you inviting people that's not a part of the friend group?
36:41You're still giving, like, Cowboy Carter.
36:44And granted, this ain't got nothing to do with your kwee kwee.
36:46What are we doing?
36:48Like, stop being so damn friendly.
36:49I'm not trying to be mean, but, like, the fact that you keep popping up in, like, our, like, friend group situations.
36:53Yeah.
36:54I don't know about a pop-up.
36:55It is a pop-up, because we know you were coming, so now.
36:57Uh-oh.
36:57Well, excuse me.
36:58She was my surprise.
37:00Oh, you saw surprise?
37:01Yes.
37:01I'm sorry.
37:01Excuse me.
37:01Surprise are usually pleasant for everybody.
37:04It's hard to bring new girls.
37:05My hope is pleasant.
37:15She was my surprise.
37:17Oh, you saw surprise?
37:18Yes.
37:18I'm sorry.
37:19Excuse me.
37:19Surprise are usually pleasant for everybody.
37:21It's hard to bring new girls.
37:23My hope is pleasant.
37:24Y'all got to be open to meeting people.
37:26Me saying Shanika was a pop-up had nothing to do with her.
37:29It had everything to do with Chloe inviting her and not letting us know.
37:32If we haven't laid this night out, right, we're supposed to be comfortable with what we're talking about.
37:35We're supposed to be, you know, be able to have these conversations that, you know, are open and honest.
37:39I can't do that with somebody I don't know.
37:40Now I have to watch what I say and, you know, kind of be more on the edge because I can't be myself because I don't know her.
37:48So then let's start here because I hadn't communicated with you in, like, probably 10 years.
37:54Let's just start from 10 years ago.
37:57Like, what's the newness in your life?
38:00Tell us about you so that way we know what we're working with because at the rodeo when you and I did go to the friend group, I didn't get to connect with you and the girls.
38:11Allow me to apologize.
38:12I'm sorry.
38:13I don't want to overstep your, like, step on your toes, you know, like, by inviting her.
38:18Because you were the...
38:19You're the little friendship toes.
38:21No, no, hold on.
38:22Let's be clear.
38:23I think Shaniqua and I can both attest to the fact that we've communicated on Facebook probably 10 years ago.
38:29But as far as...
38:30It's not 10 years ago, girl.
38:31No, that's the truth.
38:32Am I right?
38:32Well...
38:33A decade is crazy.
38:34Here's the deal.
38:35You're in the business of PR.
38:37For sure.
38:37I've done business with you because you've connected me to events, people, places.
38:42I invited you to events.
38:43Absolutely.
38:43So let me ask you a better question.
38:45Is there a reason that you're trying to minimize it?
38:47Because I don't care if it was two months ago, six years ago, or 10 years ago.
38:5010 years ago is worth minimizing.
38:52If you met somebody 10 years ago, it's not like our friends yesterday.
38:55I never said I was her friend.
38:56It's not a thing.
38:56I said I did business with her.
38:58I said she was an acquaintance of mine.
39:00But saying that you don't know somebody, I don't care if it was 20 years ago is crazy.
39:03She didn't say she didn't know you.
39:04Can you put her now?
39:06No.
39:06There's no hold on.
39:07Because right now, I feel like there's a character assassination.
39:10Oh, there's not a...
39:10Because I meet people every single day.
39:13I have people come up to me every single day.
39:14Same.
39:15One thing I never do is try to minimize an interaction because an interaction with someone, you never
39:20know what that meant to them.
39:21So when it comes to someone, there's someone connected with you on Facebook.
39:26And that's the last...
39:27I never connected with you on Facebook.
39:28You want to look it up?
39:29So that's okay.
39:29Because I was prepared for you to treat me this way today.
39:32No, you don't need me to sit by you, Shaniquel, because I'm...
39:34No, I don't need help, honey.
39:35I got this.
39:36But what I do want to do is bring out the receipts.
39:39So there's no Facebook here.
39:42What in the FedEx Kinko's is this?
39:45Did she just pull out a binder?
39:46Is she pulling out paperwork?
39:48Like, what are you here to prove?
39:51This is communication via email.
39:53That says 2014.
39:54It doesn't matter the year.
39:56Do you know me or do you not?
39:57What the hell, Shaniquel?
40:01I may have told Shaniquel that Latoya didn't remember her, but that was not my intent, for
40:06her to bring receipts?
40:08Receipts from AOL?
40:10Really?
40:11Let me say this, before there's any defensive layers.
40:14No, there's no defensive layers.
40:15So then we're going to try that.
40:16Bottom line is, we've interacted, and that's all that I've ever said.
40:19I don't know why you're trying to reduce that.
40:21She asked you a question, you get defensive.
40:23There is no question.
40:24She sent the emails.
40:25The emails came from her account.
40:26How you came with this ready already?
40:28Because it is my character that's being attacked.
40:30Don't know why she came in to do this.
40:31It's my character that's being attacked.
40:32And I had a feeling.
40:34So you told her that before she got here?
40:35So how she done bring this in?
40:37Yeah, it's a little good night.
40:38This right here, this is crazy.
40:39You printed this out.
40:40There's nothing crazy about that.
40:41You printed this out.
40:422025, 2022, no.
40:452014, here you go, girl.
40:48On the night of 2014, your ass text me on MySpace.
40:52Girl, what is we talking about?
40:53All right, girl.
40:54Let's bring it down to her phone.
40:56I'm talking about right here.
40:58There's no weird like this.
41:00Bitch, there's no weird.
41:01Bitch.
41:01Yeah.
41:02Bitch.
41:02Yeah.
41:06Next time.
41:07You wish you looked like this.
41:08Let's try again.
41:09Don't get me talking.
41:10This team will wig on.
41:11Start with Nico.
41:13I don't know when the last time I told him I loved him.
41:16I'm doing a dinner thing.
41:17We're honoring 20 women.
41:18I have two ladies here that I would like to honor.
41:21We were just kind of talking about what happened at Mocha.
41:26Y'all were very mean to each other.
41:28It's not our best moment, bro.
41:30Are we going to live to see maybe one more?
41:32Yeah, but me calling you a weirdo and you calling me a bitch
41:33is two different things.
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