v12044gd0000d2sa527og65km7l225pg

danawatcher

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00:00Hi guys, it's me, Saturn. I'm looking a little busted because I did get in a wreck this week,

00:06but I needed to talk about something because I've been casually mentioning it in my content

00:12and in comment sections, and I just want to come across clearly to you guys.

00:19Cade and I are no longer together. I broke up with him about two weeks ago

00:25when he moved to focus on his sobriety. We had certain agreements in place to help us stay

00:33connected, such as daily check-ins, weekly FaceTimes, and just generally consistent effort

00:39to communicate with each other. I even gifted him an iPhone so that it would be possible because he

00:46accidentally dropped his in the street and it got run over by a car like a week before he moved, but

00:52that's a whole other story. Unfortunately, once he got to where he was going, those commitments just

00:59weren't able to be upheld. Our work schedules were completely opposite, and instead of him talking

01:07with me about adjusting expectations, I was just kind of met with silence, and a lot of that was

01:13just because we were working such opposite schedules. I would text him, and then he wouldn't text me back

01:19until he would wake up, which was 12 hours later, and then vice versa. Like, I was asleep

01:24when he was awake, and he was awake when I was asleep, and it was just, it was a mess.

01:29Such a struggle of working overnight is like having relationships with people that don't work

01:34overnight. Long story short, this left me in the position of having to end things with him,

01:42not because I don't love him or because I don't care about him, but because I don't want to stay in a

01:48relationship where my needs for communication and care aren't met in the way that I would like them

01:54to be met. When I ended things with him, we did get a chance to actually talk, and since then,

02:01Cade has checked in on me after my accident because we do still love and care about each other, but we

02:09just, we don't need to be together right now. I am so proud of him for taking steps towards

02:17sobriety and bettering himself, but right now, I'm not in a place to handle a long-distance

02:22relationship, especially when it's very open-ended, and we don't know when he's coming back to Nashville.

02:27He is, he is coming back. Like, all of his stuff is here. Like, this is where his family is and his

02:35home and his stuff. Like, I know some of y'all are speculating that he's not coming back. He does not

02:40want to be where he is. He needs to be where he is. But yeah, right now, I'm not really in a place to

02:46handle a long-distance relationship, especially when we have opposite schedules, and honestly, he's not

02:53really in a place to be in a relationship at all while focusing on his healing. People in sobriety,

03:00regardless of what they're getting sober from, like, they always say, like, you probably shouldn't be in

03:05a relationship when you're getting sober, and we were in a relationship before he chose sobriety, and so

03:11we tried to hold on to that, and it just didn't work, and that's okay. I do want to be clear on a couple of

03:17things. Cade didn't escape me, and sobriety didn't make him suddenly see me as a bad person.

03:25I ended things after noticing certain behaviors that reminded me of unhealthy patterns from my past,

03:32which is something I've been actively working on in therapy, especially around making someone my

03:38favorite person in a borderline personality disorder type way, and Cade became my favorite

03:44person very quickly, and that was very scary, and I don't, I'm trying to not have a favorite person

03:50at all. That is something I'm working on in therapy. Breakups are never easy, whether they're

03:58amicable, mutual, whatever. Breakups are never easy, and they're especially never easy when you do still

04:06love that person, but I know my worth, and I won't stay in dynamics that don't feel safe or healthy,

04:13and with him being my favorite person and our lack of communication, it was just not a relationship

04:19that I needed to be involved in. That's generally all of that, but while I have your attention, I also

04:26want to clear up a few things that were rumors in our relationship. One, I did not get fired because

04:35I hooked up with Cade. I got fired from my online controversy. I know that I made out with him in

04:41public and was weird and said worth getting fired for. I was just trying to get a rise out of people.

04:48I did not get fired for being with Cade. Cade was never married. I don't know why people think that

04:56he was married before we got together. The person that he was with before me, so many people think

05:03that he cheated on her with me. They were separated before we connected. They were not separated for

05:09long, from my understanding, but they were 100% separated before even flirting happened, okay?

05:17He did not cheat on his ex with me. I am a polyamorous person, but I still do not condone cheating.

05:26That is not, no, don't do that, okay? I would not let someone cheat on their partner to be with me.

05:33I cried publicly about him moving temporarily and I was very dramatic because I have borderline

05:41personality disorder and I said that it was the worst thing that could ever happen and I just need

05:50to be really clear that I wasn't saying that Cade getting sober was the worst thing that could happen.

05:58I'm so happy for him and his sobriety and I've been very supportive of it. What I was talking about

06:06being the worst thing that could happen was me grieving losing in-person support from someone I loved

06:14and deeply cared about and was my favorite person. The worst thing that could happen was my favorite

06:21person moving away from me. Not that they were getting sober, okay? Okay. Also, Cade is not in rehab.

06:31He didn't go to rehab. I never said he went to rehab. I said he's focusing on his sobriety, but he is

06:37he's not in rehab. He's also not in jail. I've seen that rumor. I've seen that his rehab stint is

06:48court mandated. That's not. He's with family and that's all I'll say to protect his privacy because

06:57I, if I'm like, this is the family member he's with, you guys are gonna go like digging on social media

07:03and like contact them and be fucking weird. Leave him alone. Let him get sober. Cade doesn't like

07:12social media and he's not active online. He and I have had many conversations about what it meant

07:19for me as an influencer that over shares on the internet to talk about him in my content and he

07:26consented and we had a mutual understanding of what was okay and what was not okay. And yes,

07:32we had these conversations not when he was drunk, okay? In our breakup, I did ask if he wanted the

07:40content taken down, both of the spicy variety and the not spicy variety and he said he was okay with

07:46it. People know him to be with me and our relationship and he figured that I was going to do a video like

07:53this and things were okay. But Cade doesn't like social media. Cade doesn't like the internet. So what he

07:59does not want and he wanted me to tell you guys this is he does not want strangers speculating about his

08:05sobriety, his healing, or his relationships. If you have issues with me, please take them up with me. But

08:13please leave Cade alone to focus on his sobriety journey. I still love Cade. And sometimes loving someone

08:21means letting them go. I wish him the best and I hope that maybe in the future we can reconnect one

08:29day when the timing is healthier. But I'm not crossing my fingers on that or trying to get my hopes up on

08:37that. For now, I'm focusing on myself and therapy is going phenomenal. I'm focusing on my daughter,

08:45my partner Eli, my crafts, my projects, my healing. And I am casually dating, but I'm not trying to

08:54jump into something as quickly as I did with Cade again. Like, soft launch to anyone that's watched

09:02this whole video, but I've been seeing someone for two months and we haven't even done anything beyond

09:09kissing yet. And they're not on my social media. And I'm not like talking about them all crazy. Like

09:16therapy is working. I am being more intentional in my relationships and prioritizing myself and my

09:23family over new partners. Crazy, you know, crazy. I can heal. Anyways, to everyone that's watching this

09:34video that actually cares and actually likes me, thank you for showing me so much love. Thank you for

09:40supporting me through the highs and lows. Your encouragement means the world. And to everyone that

09:45always had nice things to say about me and Cade, we see you and we love you guys so much. We just are not

09:54meant to be in a relationship and that's okay.

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