Skip to playerSkip to main contentSkip to footer
itsdougactually
  • 4 hours ago
The 15th episode of Best Ed. In this episode, Ed and (reluctantly) Buddy deliver Chinese takeout food to customers.

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00Some diced walnuts, a splash of coconut milk, a drizzle of maple syrup, and what have you
00:12got? Pecan porridge a la buddy. Oh, that'll put fur on your cheeks. Mmm, boy! Oh no, please no.
00:30Yee-haw! Yee-haw! Yee-haw! Yee-haw! Yee-haw! Yee-haw!
00:41Buddy, good morning, buddy. Ed, what are you doing? And why are you doing an unroller blade?
00:48I'm practicing, buddy. We have to hit the ground rolling on our first day as volunteer delivery
00:54buddies. We're here to help! We? What do you mean, we? Delivering what?
01:00To who? Hot nutritious meals to needy home-based folks, buddy. Chinese food, to be exact.
01:05Did you say Chinese food? Hot delicious Asian delicacies.
01:13And that's not all. We even get to wear these silky smooth delivery boy duds while living
01:19up to the delivery boy code of conduct as decreed by Mr. Yee.
01:23Yee? Yee! I see.
01:25I, Ed, do hereby pledge to safeguard my sacks of wok-woven num-nums and do whatever is necessary
01:31to deliver them to their designated address. So help be ye.
01:34Ooh! Peanut guy pan! And Canadian pine nut kung pao!
01:39Ooh-ah-hoo!
01:41Okay, Ed. Since it's a good cause and since food is involved, I will be your delivery buddy!
01:47Right after I finish breakfast.
01:50There's no time, buddy. Those hungry homebound types are hankering for a hot Hakami as we speak!
01:55Yee-hee-hee-ee!
01:57Ooh!
02:01Yee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee.
02:07Oh, there goes today's specials!
02:10I'll be back in a jiff, okay, Ed?
02:12Ninety-nine Blue Jay Way! You deliver! Kenya! Kenya!
02:25Twenty-seven Butterfly Court! You deliver! Kenya! Kenya!
02:29Yes, sirree, Mr. Yee! We are here to help!
02:32And to honor the code of the delivery buddies!
02:34I hereby pledge to safeguard my sacks of wok-woven num-nums and to-
02:37Yah-yah! No time for talk! You go now!
02:39You deliver! Kenya! Kenya!
02:40Come on, delivery buddy! We have a sack full of hot monosodium goodness to deliver! To the wagons!
02:50But-
02:51Ha-ha! Boy, can you believe these local yokels? They love the fake accent! Almost as much as the food!
02:59Kenya! Kenya! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! It's wonderful, really!
03:03Yeah! Beepies! Watch out! Beepies! Hong Kong! Please yield for the delivery buddies! We are on a mission to deliver this delicious food to said address in Kenya!
03:16Kenya? Are you kidding? Mr. Yee can't expect us to go all the way to Kenya!
03:21Can yee?
03:22Oh, yes yee can, buddy! I heard him loud and clear in perfect English! 47 butterfly courts! Kenya! Kenya!
03:28But Ed, there's gotta be some mistake! Nobody delivers to Africa! We have to go back and check the address! And maybe snag an egg roll or two for our trouble, okay?
03:38No time, buddy! Our hungry customer is counting on us! We are delivery vows on a mission! To safeguard this sack of walk-woman num-nums! And to-
03:46Aaaaaaah!
03:47Aaaaaaah!
03:48Aaaaaaah!
03:49Aaaaaaah!
03:50Aaaaaaah!
03:51Aaaaaaah!
03:52Aaaaaaah!
03:53Aaaaaaah!
03:54Aaaaaaah!
03:55Do think it's the Kenya, please?
03:57And if possible, can you see this next to the door? That way I'd be there to help, in case of an emergency!
04:03I'm sorry, sir, but all flights to Africa are sold out! Aaaaaaah!
04:09Well, pickle thy eggs! Must be March break in Mombasa!
04:13But it's June! And since there's no way to get to Africa, there's no sense letting all this succulent, undeliverable food go to waste now, is there?
04:20Hehehehe!
04:21Hehehehe!
04:22Batman! Hoa! Nobody!
04:24As pledge-sworn delivery buds, we are honor-bound to deliver on our delivery duties, no matter what!
04:30One package through Africa, please!
04:33Ed, what are you doing?
04:39And why are we being handled like baggage?
04:42Ed, taped inside a box!
04:44Air mail, buddy!
04:45Air mail?
04:46We can't travel by air mail!
04:48How will we breathe?
04:49Air holes, buddy!
04:51Hehehehe!
04:53Yeeeeeeeeeee!
04:57Boy, I can't wait to get to Kenya, buddy!
05:02Can you?
05:03Girl on them all!
05:06Aaaaaaah!
05:07Oof!
05:08Oof!
05:09Oof!
05:10Oof!
05:11Hey!
05:12Why did we bail out?
05:13We're not anywhere near Kenya!
05:15Sorry, buddy.
05:16I guess I couldn't wait.
05:18Oof!
05:24Oof!
05:26What's the order?
05:27What's the order?
05:28Oof!
05:28Moosh!
05:29Moosh!
05:30Moosh!
05:31We're making fantabulous headway now, delivery buddy!
05:34Moosh!
05:35Moosh!
05:36Moosh!
05:37Moosh!
05:38Moosh!
05:39Moosh!
05:40Moosh!
05:41Moosh!
05:42Moosh!
05:43Moosh!
05:44Moosh!
05:45Moosh!
05:46Moosh!
05:47A promise is a promise, Delivery Buddy!
05:56Only a few more parts, hectares to go, Delivery Buddy!
06:03Kenya, here we come, Delivery Buddy!
06:10Yee!
06:12Yee!
06:14Yee!
06:15Yee!
06:20Well, here we are on the sunny shores of Africa!
06:23Our delivery duty is almost done!
06:25All we have to do now is cut through the Congo!
06:29The Congo?
06:30You mean the deadliest, most unforgiving landmass on the planet?
06:33That Congo!
06:35Oh, anything sounds bad when you say it like that, Buddy!
06:38You jungle party pooper, you!
06:40You know what? You're absolutely right!
06:42I'm completely missing the irony here!
06:45I mean, here we are, in the middle of nowhere, on the Brick of Starvation, and under oath not to eat this food!
06:51Which will no doubt go to waste that most folks grossly over-order and are never able to finish it all!
06:56Ha!
06:57Ha!
06:58Ha!
06:59Ha!
07:00Ha!
07:02Ha!
07:03Ha!
07:04Ha!
07:05Ha!
07:06Ha!
07:07Do you see it, Ed?
07:08Ha!
07:09Ha!
07:10Ha!
07:11Ha!
07:12Ha!
07:13Ha!
07:14Ironing, how about we press on while singing thong?
07:20Oh, over the city and through the burps, delivery buds will go.
07:26The bees and the roses will tickle our toes and through flowers and fields aglow.
07:30Oh, over the city and through the burps, delivery buds will dance.
07:35So happy and gay, our work is like play, just like we're in a trance.
07:40Oh, over the city and through the burps, delivering food is fun.
07:45You meet lots of folks in your supper heat strokes from morning till Saturday's gone.
07:49Oh, over the city and through the burps, delivery buds will go.
08:03You know, this here's a drinking stream, not a bathing stream.
08:07Really? Then why are we wearing drugs?
08:10Our apologies, Mr. Pachyderm, but we are two weary delivery boys on a mission to deliver food to a 47 butterfly court in Kenya.
08:19It's true. Can you believe it? Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous?
08:25I reckon not, because that there is 47 butterfly court right there.
08:29Yes? May I be of some service to you, gentlemen?
08:39We are not gentlemen, sir. We are Chinese food delivery buddies. And you are the delivery. Bone apetitee.
08:47There must be some sort of miscommunication. I didn't order any Chinese food, as I am on a very strict macrobiotic diet.
08:56You mean, this isn't 47 butterfly court?
09:03Indeed it is, but clearly the 47 butterfly court that you seek is in some backwater called Swellville.
09:10Not Kenya. Good day.
09:15Well, butter by bunions. Looks like we've come all this way for nothing, delivery buddy.
09:20Oh, not for nothing, Ed. We can learn something from all of this. A valuable lesson about perseverance and cutting your losses. And waste not want not.
09:31Let's eat!
09:31You're absolutely right, buddy. There's no time for lolly-gargling, as it is our sworn duty as delivery buds to preserve her and to deliver on our delivery promise.
09:47Oh, no. Please, no.
09:50Swellville, here we come.
09:53No!
09:54Over the city and through the burps, delivery boys we go. We do and we must, it's Swellville or bus.
10:01Oh, no. Please, oh, no.