- 5 months ago
MALIKA and Sam met when working in a nightclub together in 2016. They were both pre-transition and were best friends for 7 years because they were both in relationships with other people at that time. Sam became single and Malika and her partner had decided to “open” their relationship. They welcomed Sam into their relationship, but within a year, the relationship as a throuple broke down. However, Malika and Sam’s relationship continued. Malika says she has always known she was trans; she came out when she was 13. She is 2 years into her transition. Sam is now 10 years into his transition; he has had a hysterectomy and top surgery. Malika says “she needs every damn thing” when it comes to surgery! She wants breast surgery and sees herself as a “full figure woman”. Malika says they experience judgement due to their physical differences, Malika is built physically bigger than Sam. Sam knows he is a convincingly-passing man and even though he is smaller than Malika he feels like he is the protector of the relationship. Malika finds being out in public sometimes nerve wracking. The couple got married recently - Sam had set up a surprise engagement in a garden, unbeknownst to Malika, he had filled in the marriage paperwork weeks prior so they got engaged and married on the same day! Malika thought she was getting ready for an engagement party when in fact Sam had gathered close family, friends and an officiate and they got married. They want to show the world they're just like any other 'normal' couple and whilst they go against social “norms”, they are still relatable.
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FunTranscript
00:00I transitioned and now I'm helping my wife do the same.
00:04He helped me get there and make that decision and actually gave me my first hormone shot.
00:10A lot of people don't even assume that I'm trans.
00:13This is true.
00:14What the is it?
00:15I'm human just like you.
00:17When you came in, it was just like full force.
00:20I didn't have time to computer put two and two together.
00:23I didn't know you or ever hear about you and then you were always there.
00:28I didn't have that person of understanding when I went through my transition and to
00:33be able to be that person for her.
00:40Hi, my name is Malika and this is my husband Sam and people judge our relationship because
00:45we are both trans.
00:46I think I'm going to pull her out tonight.
00:49Welcome to Cardi's Clam Room.
00:51This is where I become my alter ego, Cardi Red Diamond.
00:55We met nine years ago at a nightclub.
00:58Yeah, I was performing that night.
01:00I just got residency there.
01:02I'm a lady of options, I'm a lady of stones, glams, sequins, shine, you name it.
01:07I was drawn to her confidence.
01:10There wasn't much conversation until he asked me to come smoke with him after the bar closed.
01:15The rest is history.
01:16I have been performing now for 10 years.
01:22I started in the scene when I was 18 years old.
01:26We started off in another relationship dynamic.
01:32She was in an open relationship.
01:34I was the third person that came into that open relationship.
01:37This is not even a quarter of what I have.
01:41This is one of my favorites.
01:43I love this outfit, obviously because of the drama.
01:47That first relationship ended and we just continued to date after that.
01:52Yeah.
01:53Way to go, babe.
01:55That was a great explanation.
01:57My favorite color is pink.
01:59This is also one of my favorites.
02:01Catwoman is my team.
02:03And I have acrobatic skills, so this is one of my favorite characters to cosplay.
02:09I kind of took on an assistant role, so to say.
02:15He typically carries the bags.
02:16I got the look under control.
02:18Chauffeuring, helping her get to her gigs, helping her with the bookies.
02:24We got married the same day that we got engaged.
02:32So I planned out a photo shoot for our day and made it seem like we were taking family photos.
02:41Turn around and look at Sam.
02:43And I popped the question and then we went downtown and filed for the marriage license.
02:52You made the ring box yourself in my favorite color.
02:56She walked into a bouquet of flowers and an officiant standing in the living room next to me.
03:05And the officiant looks at me and she goes,
03:07You're getting married today.
03:10And I couldn't even get words out.
03:12I was so like, how I am now.
03:16Speechless.
03:18I bawled like a baby.
03:19I was sobbing.
03:20I was like, so overwhelmed.
03:22She looked absolutely beautiful.
03:25Probably one of the best days of my entire life.
03:28The effort that you put into that is like, unmatched.
03:33Okay.
03:34Get ready.
03:35Are you ready?
03:36I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.
03:37Just stay in there.
03:38Okay.
03:40You get those comments online like, is that a man?
03:44Is that a man in a dress?
03:46Is that a man in a dress?
03:47I'm confused.
03:48I'm confused.
03:49Our engagement video went viral.
03:51And I think that was the first time that I personally experienced the negativity.
03:57She's kind of had more exposure to that.
03:59I think there were maybe three that popped off before I told her to shut it off.
04:04What the is it?
04:06I'm human just like you.
04:08Just stuff like that.
04:09Dumb ass stuff.
04:10You're wasting your time judging other people.
04:12The biggest blessing in life is that we all have our own past.
04:16We both had several people come to us and thank us for just being visible.
04:21Why are you worried about how my life going?
04:24Go figure out yours.
04:26I started my transition in 2015.
04:32I lived a very, I'd say, sheltered life.
04:35Looking back at my childhood, had I known the terminology,
04:38I would have been able to determine who I was at a much younger age.
04:44I have had my top surgery and I also had a hysterectomy.
04:49I started my transition in February of 2023.
04:53I realized that I was a girl when I was like four or five years old.
04:58Growing up was difficult for me.
05:00When Christmas time came around, it was depressing and I had to pretend that it was a happy time.
05:05Because while I wanted a Barbie or a Bratz doll, I got an action figure and a WWE wrestler.
05:11I didn't want that for Christmas.
05:14I hit 29 and I was like, enough is enough.
05:16Like I'm not living for nobody else anymore.
05:18I know what's going to make me happy.
05:20And he helped me get there and make that decision and actually gave me my first hormone shot.
05:26I've been doing mine for over 10 years, so it's like nothing.
05:31But now we do each other's.
05:33So I do his and he does mine.
05:35I haven't had any surgeries yet, no.
05:37No surgeries yet.
05:39A lot of people don't even assume that I'm trans.
05:41This is true.
05:42So they're just mind blown.
05:44And they're like, well how do you have a better beard than I do?
05:47How do I grow a beard like yours?
05:54SJ is my drag daughter.
05:56I'm a showgirl and I'm a mentor to her.
05:59I have known Malika for seven years now.
06:02I became her drag daughter and I met Sam through her.
06:07It's been a minute since I've seen her, so she's going to come over and visit.
06:10Daughter!
06:11Hello mother!
06:13At first, I was pretty apprehensive about the whole thing.
06:19I was like, I'm not sure how I feel about this man.
06:22When it comes to dating as a trans woman, it's already hard because people look at it as,
06:28oh you're dating a trans woman, you're gay.
06:31Automatically.
06:32No matter what.
06:33How did you feel walking in and seeing a wedding that you didn't know about?
06:37Honestly, it was a bit of a shock.
06:40I was not prepared for that.
06:41I thought y'all were going to get engaged that day, not get married.
06:45Well, I thought I was just going to be engaged that day too.
06:49So we were all a bit surprised except for you.
06:52I think a lot of people also think that it was quick.
06:56Were there questions?
06:57Did you not agree?
06:59Were you...
07:00There was so much going on in that.
07:03I know you were in an open thing.
07:05I wasn't expecting for you guys to get so serious.
07:08Did you feel as though like I was someone that was coming in and like kind of stepping on toes of your parents' relationship?
07:16I mean, yes.
07:18When you came in, it was just like full force.
07:21I didn't have time to computer put two and two together.
07:24Y'all were just together by the time I knew y'all were together, if that makes sense.
07:28I get that.
07:29It makes sense.
07:30I feel like in the beginning, it was like a little hard for me.
07:32Like I didn't really care to get to know you, if I'm being honest.
07:36Then I realized like you truly cared about her deeply and would go to the ends of the earth for her.
07:41Honestly, the fact that a trans person could find another trans person to help them on the journey in itself is very special.
07:48Having a partner that goes through the struggles and things that you go through and can understand them, it means the world.
07:54I want to know why her?
07:57Why do you care so much about her?
07:59And how do you know that this is what you want for the rest of your life?
08:04Nine years ago, I saw the girl that was hiding in drag.
08:08I saw the girl that was driven to the bars to try to be seen and I get to help her do that.
08:15I didn't have that person of understanding when I went through my transition and to be able to be that person for her.
08:29It just solidified everything for me.
08:31Like for the first time in my entire life, I felt unconditional love with somebody.
08:38I've become the person that I'm supposed to be because of him.
08:43She has brought a new light to my drive and she makes me want to achieve more.
08:50The way that he looked at me when he first laid his eyes on me, he has not stopped looking at me that way.
08:56And that to me is more impactful and powerful than anything else.
09:01Go find your person .
09:03I got mine.
09:05He got his.
09:07You.
09:08I got him.
09:13You should have my partner there, but shall I remember.
09:19He sounds better so.
09:20I'm Saying Welling
09:21There's nothing better.
09:26He's going forward by the balance of water.
09:28so that's the day of life.
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