- 6 months ago
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00:00Music
00:08Music
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00:24Music
00:26Bloody hell Gus!
00:28Three hundred and fifty patients I've got to see in four minutes!
00:30All of them flicking a bloody Napoleon!
00:32Set them all back like bloody hell for what I say!
00:34One guy, right? One guy, he's had a stroke, right?
00:36He's completely paralysed on one whole side of his body.
00:38He's still schizophrenic!
00:40And the thing is, both sides of his personality are still shit!
00:44What's wrong with you, you idiot?
00:46Are you talking to me?
00:48No, I'm actually one of the mental patients.
00:50The psychiatrist couldn't make it this morning.
00:52What's wrong with you?
00:54I'm still getting terrible panic attacks.
00:56Why?
00:57I don't know!
00:59Stop it!
01:01Listen, the time they start panicking,
01:03as if your house goes on fire, right?
01:05Or a bag go...
01:07You're sopping it off!
01:09Nooooss!
01:11Why couldn't she be a Nymphomaniac, you know what I mean?
01:15A nice wee Nymphomaniac, three times a week, you know what I mean?
01:17I wouldn't be able to cure them, but with wonders of rain, you know what I mean?
01:21Did I see your face in here last week?
01:23Yes, sir.
01:24What are you doing back here then?
01:25Well, I'm still experiencing a severe sexual inferiority complex.
01:29No!
01:30No!
01:31Surely not!
01:32A hunk of a man like you!
01:33Tell us about it!
01:34Well...
01:35Of course you're suffering from an inferiority complex!
01:37Of course you are!
01:38You're inferior, aren't you?
01:39No, but...
01:40Don't waste time, hold up!
01:41Well...
01:42You just come in here for a bloody good chap once a week, don't you?
01:44Where you can piss off!
01:46Nurse!
01:47Oh!
01:48Before you go!
01:49Before you go!
01:50Hi, is that a prescription?
01:51No, it's a picture of a naked woman to remind you what you're missing!
01:58Come to the end of the rock, I'm going to kill myself!
02:02No!
02:03No!
02:04No!
02:05Put the gun down, Timmy!
02:06Put the gun down, Timmy!
02:07Gun down, Timmy!
02:08Gun down, Timmy!
02:09Gun down, Timmy!
02:10Gun down, Timmy!
02:11Good!
02:12Gun down, Timmy!
02:13Good!
02:14Now!
02:15Use this instead!
02:16It's Mr Finch!
02:18Yeah!
02:19He's a multiple mass murderer!
02:20Multiple mass murderer!
02:21That sounds good!
02:22That sounds good!
02:23Sit right down, now and then, Mr Finch!
02:25Tell us a bit about your history, my son!
02:39What's your mother like?
02:40Big tits?
02:41Of course!
02:44Private patient!
02:45patient we wouldn't want that in the files now there mr finch do come over by the couch and tell
02:49us all about those lovely murderous symptoms of yours well i keep having these uh a lot of bad
02:56dreams lately yes a bit of rat what a bit of rat up your ass no you bastards bloody segman freud
03:02nobody ever dreams about a bloody rat up the ass i've had to study that case for seven years
03:06realizer do carry on mr finch well i keep having a recurring dream in which i appear in a funny
03:12psychiatric sketch and uh get paid lots of money and everybody laughs at the material well they often
03:17say that dreams go by opposites do carry on well well i'm about to uh get analyzed when the psychiatrist
03:23disappears and goes and hosts this terrible uh bbc 2 show that's sandwich for you a third-rate craig
03:33ferguson emmert cesar
03:50oh
04:03Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
04:16Well, I must say, I must say, you are a super smashing, marvellous audience.
04:23Now, I'm just going to go into the audience and just touch tonight's one of two of you.
04:28That's marvellous, super smashing, marvellous.
04:33That's the price you pay for being incredibly fat, actually.
04:36Now then, lovely, super smashing, piff-paff-poof.
04:39Now then, darling, what's your name?
04:40Dibble, and are you a shepherd?
04:43Piff-paff-poof, super smashing, marvellous.
04:48Just give her a big round of applause, ladies and gentlemen.
04:53Marvellous, super smashing, absolutely lovely.
04:57Piff-paff-poof.
04:58Now, Piff-paff-poof, super smashing, marvellous.
05:01Now, Piff-paff-poof, now, Piff-paff-poof, super smashing, marvellous.
05:05Now, Piff-paff-poof, super smashing, marvellous.
05:09Now, what I'm going to do, just count to three, and one, two, three, and the ball completely disappears.
05:14Do you know where it went?
05:15You didn't want, now do I, Piff-paff-poof.
05:17By the way, I hope the smell isn't bothering you.
05:22It's not the smell, it's the trick that stinks.
05:25Piff-paff-poof, super smashing, marvellous.
05:27Now, I'm going to do it one more time.
05:29One, two, and...
05:30Stand-up comedy is now bigger in Britain than pop music.
05:46The Paul Bearer's Review decided to hit the streets of London to ask the question,
05:50Who's your favourite comedian?
05:53There's somebody now.
05:55Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
05:57I'm doing a documentary for the BBC.
06:00Can I just ask you, who's your favourite comedian?
06:03Oh, well, Ben Elton.
06:06Ben Elton?
06:08Why?
06:09I think he's very funny.
06:12Really?
06:13What do you think of Jerry Sadowitz?
06:16Who?
06:17Jerry Sadowitz.
06:20You know, the comedian that goes,
06:21Did-die-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de.
06:24Very funny.
06:28Excuse me.
06:29Excuse me.
06:29Excuse me.
06:30Who is your favourite comedian?
06:32Well, I like lots of comedians.
06:34Yeah.
06:35Like...
06:35Like who?
06:35John Cleese, Ben Elton, Bernard Bernard, Benny Hill, French and Saunders.
06:45What about, like, Scottish comedians? Scottish comedians.
06:49Oh, Billy Connolly, Ralph Seymour.
06:51Yeah, yeah, but what about, like, Scottish comedians that wear bowler hats?
06:55Well, the only one I can think of is Jerry Sanders, but I don't like him.
07:01Well, I can tell you he speaks very highly of you.
07:05Really?
07:05Oh!
07:09Excuse me.
07:10Excuse me, I'm from the BBC.
07:12Who's your favourite comedian?
07:13Ah, Jerry Sadowitz.
07:15Really? Why?
07:17Oh, uh, oh, hang on.
07:20Oh, he, uh, what was it?
07:22For Christ's sake.
07:24Excuse me.
07:25Yes.
07:25Are you doing a documentary about comedy?
07:27Yes, I am, actually.
07:28I just wanted to say, I think you're a brilliant comedian.
07:31Easily the best stand-up in Britain.
07:33Really?
07:34Not only are you the funniest comic I've ever seen, but also the most prolific.
07:39Thank you very much.
07:40You're incredibly inventive, and not to mention illuminating, without being too patronising.
07:44And I just love your songs, and I've thoroughly enjoyed your second series of Black Hat.
07:49Jimmy, this is David and Noreen from Leicester.
08:01Heads or tails?
08:04Heads.
08:05Heads is right.
08:06You want to go first or second?
08:08First.
08:08Okay.
08:10Come on.
08:11And now, let's go.
08:14Fabulous.
08:15De la descente.
08:44The clarinet.
08:44From Leicester.
08:48Yeah.
08:59Heads.
09:02De la descente.
09:04Oh, my God.
09:34A lot of people have been asking us, can we get Roy Walton onto the Roy Walton moment?
09:55Because, you know, he's an incredible genius.
09:57But unfortunately, he's a recluse.
09:59And the nearest thing we could get is a picture of his son.
10:01Okay. So, what I've got here, your name is?
10:06Ian.
10:07I have here a pack of cards, as you can see.
10:08I can see that.
10:09What I'm going to do is take a few cards off the top.
10:11And a few cards from the bottom, like that.
10:14And a few cards near the centre.
10:16Okay.
10:17You shuffle those cards, please.
10:19Okay.
10:19Let's give them a mix.
10:20And I'll mix these ones up.
10:21Okay.
10:23Done?
10:24Yeah, certainly.
10:24Now, place your cards face down on the table, like so.
10:27I'll drop mine on top, face up.
10:30Okay?
10:30Okay.
10:31So, your cards are obviously face down near the bottom.
10:34And there's no way I can know the order because you've shuffled them.
10:37So, what we're going to do is we're going to take your first face down card and my first face up card.
10:41Okay?
10:42We'll examine them.
10:43And they match in colour and in value.
10:45Two red sevens, right?
10:47Do it again.
10:48Next card.
10:49Two red eights.
10:49Yep.
10:51Two black fours.
10:52Two red queens.
10:53Two black kings.
10:55Two red sixes.
10:56Coincidence or magic?
10:57You decide.
10:58Moving that along.
11:02I have, in fact, come here.
11:05A pack of lexicon cards, right?
11:07These are all different letters.
11:08Okay?
11:09What you've got to do is cut the pack into four piles, please, Ian.
11:12What?
11:13Or hemorrhoids, if you want the correct technical description.
11:15Give us a few more there to deal with.
11:18Okay.
11:19And here we have four cards which you have freely cut to and in which I could have no possible prior knowledge of.
11:27Do you agree with that?
11:27Absolutely.
11:28Right.
11:28First letter there is a T.
11:30Second letter you cut to is an I.
11:32Third one is an H.
11:34And this one is an S.
11:37Coincidence or magic?
11:38You decide.
11:39Okay.
11:40Moving that along.
11:41We'll tip with four ordinary wee dicey things.
11:44Okay?
11:45You've got to watch very carefully.
11:47I'm watching.
11:47Wiggling the fingers, ladies and gentlemen.
11:48Wiggling the fingers.
11:49And one of them jumps across.
11:51Okay?
11:51Try it again.
11:53Watching this?
11:54I'm watching.
11:55So, it's all to do with the finger movement, you see.
11:59Coincidence or magic?
12:00You decide.
12:01Moving that along.
12:07A flourish with four aces, okay?
12:10This is incredibly difficult.
12:11If I get it right, you've got to applaud incredibly enthusiastically.
12:13That was a little flourish invented by Richard Gamble, which I think is excellent.
12:26But anyway, the four aces, ladies and gentlemen.
12:27And as you know or may not know, the ace of spades is the highest valued card in the pack.
12:31Okay?
12:31And it's very important for me to hold that card if I'm playing poker.
12:34Yeah.
12:35And ace of clubs is the second highest ace.
12:37And that goes with it.
12:38And what we do is snap the fingers and we find the black aces jump over into my hand, which
12:42is where we want them.
12:43And over here, we have the two of the aces.
12:45Coincidence or magic?
12:46Who cares?
12:50All right.
12:53Moving right along.
12:54Four aces into different parts of the pack, ladies and gentlemen.
12:57Now, I want you to imagine that, Ian, we're playing a game of poker, right?
12:59Probably.
13:00No, we're not really, but just imagine it, okay?
13:01Okay.
13:02How many people do you think are in the game?
13:04Like one person, two, three, four?
13:05Five.
13:06Five?
13:07Okay.
13:08And which hand do you want to have the winning hand?
13:10Second hand, third hand?
13:11Third hand.
13:11Third hand.
13:12Right, just cut off a few cards off the top of the pack, please.
13:16All right.
13:17Excellent.
13:17What was the hand you wanted it in?
13:18Third.
13:19So what we do now is deal out five hands of poker, and we find that in that third hand,
13:24two aces, three aces.
13:27See, I like to do this for a living.
13:28I can just join a poker school and get rich quick, you know what I mean?
13:31So, the four aces in the third hand.
13:39Right, try one more.
13:40Just take out any card, Ian, any card you like.
13:42Completely free choice.
13:45That card was having a very nice time until you touched it.
13:47Right, have a look at it.
13:48And show it to camera five.
13:50Okay.
13:51Remember the card?
13:52Yep.
13:52Whatever you do, don't show it to me, and put it back any way you like.
13:56Okay, let's still look at that one, because it makes the job a lot easier.
14:00Okay, I merely slap the pack, and your card mysteriously jumps up to the top.
14:04Seven of hearts, is that it?
14:05No.
14:05Are you lying?
14:06No.
14:07It isn't?
14:08No.
14:08Right, put your hand over here, please.
14:10Okay.
14:11Put your other hand on top of the seven, like that.
14:15Turn the card over.
14:17What?
14:17Continental magic.
14:24You decide.
14:26Okay, the last trick, ladies and gentlemen.
14:27The four aces go into the pack in a reversed condition.
14:34Right, four aces reversed in the pack.
14:35Yep.
14:36Now, you'll notice I've deliberately left the jack of clubs out for a particular reason.
14:39Because what I'm going to try and do is get the jack of clubs to change place with the
14:42four aces in the middle of the pack.
14:44Okay.
14:44Watch carefully.
14:45I simply snap it, and instantly it becomes the four aces.
14:49Okay.
14:51And in the middle of the pack, we now find one card, one card only.
14:58See, I think magic's a lot more impressive if you do it in a deep, coast, west, American
15:00accent, you know.
15:02One card, and one card only.
15:04The jack of clubs.
15:06The jack of clubs, ladies and gentlemen.
15:09The jack of clubs, one week, one open foot to the magic of schizophrenia with impressions.
15:18Okay, here we go.
15:19What's this?
15:20Moby Dick having a piss, as seen by Salvador Dali.
15:23Thank you very much.
15:25A lot of you people at home actually think that, a lot of people think that I've changed
15:29the act now.
15:29Now that I'm on TV and I'm a different kind of person, but I'm not.
15:32I am actually the same person as I always ever was.
15:34I will not change.
15:36I cannot change.
15:36I am simply the same street-credible person you all know and love.
15:41And to show you how street-credible my street-credible is, in fact, from a certain angle, I still
15:45look like dog shit.
15:46So the point is, I'm still exactly the same person you all know and love, ladies and gentlemen.
15:52Okay, so a few impressions.
15:54What's this?
15:55Paul McCartney.
15:56Thank you very much indeed.
15:57Lyndon McCartney.
16:01Lyndon McCartney doing an impression of me.
16:04Piss off.
16:05Thank you very much indeed.
16:07My impression of the great Edinburgh philosopher, David Hume.
16:11Obviously, I can't prove it's a great impression, but believe me, it is.
16:14My impression of Morrissey.
16:16You're shit, Morrissey!
16:18Just my impression of him.
16:19You're up to agree with it, of course.
16:21But I know I'm right.
16:23I can't stand these people that go on about Morrissey to go, oh, Morrissey, he's marvellous.
16:26He shouldn't make jokes about me.
16:27Help me get through my depression.
16:29No, he didn't.
16:29You helped him get through his depression.
16:31And you paid him for the bloody privilege.
16:33Okay, a few informative impressions now, ladies and gentlemen.
16:37How to annoy a fruit shop owner.
16:40Excuse me, have you got any stale, smelly, stinking apples in your shop?
16:43Certainly not.
16:44That's funny.
16:44He sold me a whole bunch of them yesterday, you bastard.
16:49How to annoy Stevie Wonder.
16:51Stevie?
16:53Stevie?
16:55Stevie, over here a minute, please.
16:58Over here, Stevie!
16:59I actually hate the idea of somebody being blind and making more money than me.
17:03You know what I mean?
17:05Because I'm actually a Scottish Jew, which is a very intense combination to have.
17:08You know, half of me wants to get pissed, the other half won't pay for their drinks.
17:13See, the Jewish religion, by the way, I think it's totally mental.
17:17As soon as you're born, what happens to a Jew?
17:18As soon as you're born, you get half your knob lobbed off of you.
17:23Now, I don't know about you people here, but I can't afford to lose half of nothing.
17:29To me, this is the wrong idea, right?
17:31What they should do is lob off half the nose, right?
17:34Stick it on the end of the knob, and that would make a lot more sense to me, you know
17:38what I mean?
17:41I can't actually get my head around any religion, really, you know what I mean?
17:43I actually believe if there is a God that was made in Hong Kong, you know what I mean?
17:47Do you know?
17:49Religious material, is it, Gerry?
17:50It is religious material.
17:51Let's go into the audience and make sure nobody comes out and gubs me, will you?
17:53Right, okay.
17:53Good man, good man.
17:54Okay, so, um, I blame a lot of contemporary religion on Joseph, actually, you know, Joseph
18:00the carpenter, you know?
18:01What a gullible man that was, you know?
18:03Coming home from work one day with a plank of wood under his arm.
18:08Mary, what's happened?
18:09You're pregnant.
18:11Oh, forgot to tell you, Joseph.
18:12God came down today in a big bolt of lightning, and I gave birth to the son of God.
18:19Fair enough.
18:19I mean, the man was a carpenter.
18:24Why don't you check out the cupboard for a start, you know?
18:27You'd have found a Mexican in there going, don't open this door.
18:29Please don't open this door.
18:30Please don't open this door.
18:31I think the weird thing about Jesus is that he went round in his day changing people's
18:35names for them, you know?
18:36You could never get away with that today, you know?
18:37Like, he would go up to people and say, what's your name?
18:40John.
18:40John, I shall call you Peter.
18:44You'll call me John, you hippie.
18:47I've got a joker here who wants to change my name, by the way.
18:50But they didn't argue about it.
18:51They actually loved it.
18:52They lapped it up, you know?
18:53I am George Lord.
18:54George, I shall call you Ringo.
18:56Oh, thanks a lot, lad.
18:57I always wanted a bit of Ringo, you know what I mean?
19:00I am Peter Lord.
19:02Peter Lord.
19:03You're a shoe shop.
19:04You don't get any.
19:07Gives a new pair of sandals for a start, you know what I mean?
19:10I don't understand why religious people wear, like, crucifixes around their necks, you
19:13know, the two bits of wood that Jesus was nailed to, you know?
19:17I mean, what's the point in celebrating two pieces of wood, really, you know?
19:21What it should be is a picture of Jesus changing the water into wine, going, you know, the wee
19:29disciple standing the next time going, well, if you're really rich, you can afford the executive
19:34version, which has got a miniature Thomas Hedouter in the middle that goes, as you walk,
19:39sort of thing, you know?
19:42Okay, ladies and gentlemen, the incredible floating handkerchief trick.
19:48I actually think that you would never get John Majors in a sexual scandal, really, you
19:52know?
19:53John Majors, like, the nearest he gets to kinky sex is, like, swapping anoraks with other
19:56train spotters, you know?
20:00It's a man so boring that Steve Davis could win the next general election, really, you
20:03know?
20:04I look at John Majors and I think to myself, my God, didn't realise that the Proclaimers
20:08had an older brother, did you?
20:12By the way, I don't slag off the Socialist Party ever, but I'm telling you now, if there
20:15was one, I would, okay?
20:18You know what's really annoying about alternative comedy is the fact that in alternative comedy
20:22you've got to be topical all the time, right?
20:24I mean, I still hate Winston Churchill, you know what I mean?
20:27Winston Churchill, we shall fight in the air, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight
20:31in the air, what do you mean, we, fatso, you know what I mean?
20:35Didn't see the cigars being rationed during the Second World War, really, did you?
20:39That's how he hid his family from National Service.
20:41He swallowed them.
20:42That's what he did.
20:44See, Winston Churchill, he had this reputation of being a very witty Prime Minister.
20:48You know, like, he'd get a party or something like that, and women would walk up to him
20:52and say, Mr. Churchill, you're drunk.
20:54And he would say, Madam, I may be drunk, but in the morning I'll be sober.
20:58When you wake up, you'll still be ugly.
21:03Marvellous, Winston, what a marvellous remark to me.
21:06I mean, the guy was drunk at a party.
21:08What he actually said was, Madam, f*** off!
21:15So anyway, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to continue with the action here with the incredible
21:18vanishing pear trick.
21:20Thank you very much indeed.
21:21And for this, of course, I have a selection of magic wands.
21:24I have, of course, an absolutely ordinary magic wand over here, which is a standard magic wand.
21:27And, of course, we have the non-racist magic wand, as you can see, black and white stripes.
21:32And we have the incredible Australian wand, which comes right back to you.
21:40And we have, of course, the public school boy wand, which is brown because it's been up my arse all afternoon.
21:45And, of course, we have the...
21:48See, they're laughing here because they're students, you know, very, very stupid people.
21:51OK, so the very dangerous wand, which doesn't look very dangerous, but if you do that on
21:56a baby's head, I can assure you, very, very painful.
21:58And, of course, we also have the fish called Wanda, which is not a very good joke, but it's
22:05only Birmingham, right, boys and girls?
22:07And, of course, we have the magic wand, as seen by Salvador Dali, ladies and gentlemen.
22:13So, what happens here is the pair goes into the magic box, ladies and gentlemen, and I'm
22:19going to make it vanish completely, OK?
22:21It's a very, very difficult trick, so please watch very carefully.
22:23Just watch.
22:27Completely disappears.
22:28And not only that, but I'll bring the pair back again, OK?
22:31Back again.
22:34Thank you very much.
22:36Oh, God, and Einstein's theory is absolutely right.
22:38The pair does fall onto the floor, just to show you that gravity does pull things back
22:42to the gun.
22:42So, the pair trick, ladies and gentlemen, which doubles sometimes in the show as a exploding
22:48rabbit trick.
22:48Thank you very much.
22:50Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
22:56I'm going to give you two impressions, ladies and gentlemen.
22:58Two impressions at the one time.
22:59Harpo Marx, the comedian, and Jeffrey Dahmer, the famous serial killer, at the same time,
23:04OK?
23:06I hope you know who Jeffrey Dahmer is, right?
23:07Jeffrey Dahmer.
23:08He gave me this, actually, as a present.
23:10I thought it was very, very good of him.
23:11Kept it in a pot for several years, you know?
23:13You just pull this wee thing and...
23:15Oh, yeah?
23:17Play it backwards and says, I hate Judas Priest as well, you know what I mean?
23:21I actually think Jeffrey Dahmer is brilliant, you know, because the more Jeffrey Dahmers there
23:25are in the world, the less Americans there will be.
23:28Americans, don't you bloody hate them, eh?
23:31They don't have libraries in America because they basically don't have to shut up for two
23:35minutes, you know?
23:36Plus, they can't find enough Casper, the Finley Ghost Comics to warrant opening a bloody
23:40library, you know what I mean?
23:42See, Americans, it's a good job their credit cards are welcome all over Europe, because
23:45they're not.
23:46Do you know who the most intelligent man is in America?
23:51And the irony is, they're probably right about this, is Phil Donahue.
23:55Phil Donahue.
23:56That is their top man, right?
23:57Because he has glasses and blonde hair and he comes bouncing on, talking about serious...
24:01He looks like a bloody pigeon on acid, really, you know?
24:04He comes bouncing on, tackling really serious subjects like, eh, tonight we're going to
24:07talk about the very serious subject of child abuse.
24:10And in the studio is a little lady that tells us all about the problem.
24:12Yes, Phil, my five-year-old granddaughter was killed by her father.
24:16Okay, studio audience, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
24:19Let's get some feedback here, you know what I mean?
24:24The Americans are so stupid they've got to fight the war in the Gulf all over again,
24:27because they forgot to kill Saddam Hussein the first time.
24:31Look at him, it's a fat bastard like that.
24:36So, the impression, ladies and gentlemen, that I intend to do later on, earlier rather,
24:39is Harper Marks and Jeffrey Dahmer, the serial killer, at the same time.
24:43Okay.
24:44Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
24:46Bang, bang, bang, bang.
24:49Okay, I think I've seen your level of intelligence.
24:53You want funny hats, don't you, ladies and gentlemen?
24:55No problem, folks, eh?
24:56Here we go, the silly green hat, ladies and gentlemen.
24:59There you go, look at that.
25:00And here we go, the incredible red hat over there.
25:03I can't actually believe I'm doing this on BBC2, by the way, Monday night, you know what I mean?
25:06Can't understand it.
25:07Here we go, Klu Klux Klan man on acid.
25:09There you go.
25:10Okay, that's crap.
25:11Anyway, eh, quick balloon animal.
25:14Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Ethiopian football terrier, thank you for asking.
25:23Okay, ladies and gentlemen, the incredible vanishing beaker trick.
25:27Da, da, da, da, da, da.
25:28Ha, da, da, da, da, da, da.
25:30Oh, God.
25:31Oh, never mind.
25:31Da, da, da, da, da.
25:33Trap doors aren't quite what they used to be, you know what I mean?
25:36Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
25:38Wee yellow ring.
25:40This cost, eh, 40 quid, I think, actually, 40 quid.
25:42Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
25:45Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
25:47Oh, and of course, the beaker completely vanishes from the tube.
25:50And there's nothing over here.
25:52And there's nothing over here.
25:54And of course, you probably all think, aha, underneath the curtain by the trap door.
25:57But you're all completely wrong because there is nothing in here except for a 45,000 piece of absolute shit.
26:05Oh, Jerry.
26:06What?
26:06Jerry, is it a David Copperfield sketch?
26:08Oh, I, David Copperfield.
26:09I'm now required for a sketch featuring the famous American magician David Copperfield.
26:14And here we go with David Copperfield sketch.
26:17Right, let's get it.
26:18Okay, let's get it.
26:20Get the cat, there, John.
26:21Get the cat, there we go.
26:22Get the jack on.
26:23Get the tie on.
26:25Oh, got the rings going as well.
26:26And a bit of hair gel.
26:26Let's get the cat rest.
26:27Here we go.
26:28We'll be, we'll be.
26:30Okay, the famous American magician, Mr. David Copperfield.
26:34Ready for this?
26:34Yes.
26:35Okay.
26:42David?
26:43Yeah?
26:44What's that?
26:45Why, it's my grandmother's ring, Drina.
26:49You know, it's very special to me.
26:50She gave it to me just after she died.
26:53Watch.
26:56Oh, David, how did you do that?
26:59And this is for you, darling.
27:01Happy anniversary, dear.
27:02Oh, you shouldn't have.
27:05I know.
27:06Ow!
27:07It's the same ring.
27:09Oh, David, you're so clever.
27:11You're so special.
27:14That's right, Drina.
27:15And you know, we're all special.
27:17We all have magic.
27:19The magic of love.
27:23You mean you made love to your grandmother?
27:28That's right, Drina.
27:30And you know something?
27:31She gave me this just after she died.
27:39My grandmother's bra, Drina.
27:41It's very special to me.
27:43Matter of fact, she gave me a couple of other things, too, just before she died.
27:49Our special relationship, dear.
27:51Have you ever thought of going to a special hospital, you stupid psycho?
27:54You just don't understand, Drina.
27:55You have to believe in magic.
27:58Yeah, well, I believe you're a bloody pervert.
28:00What does your grandmother think about all of this?
28:02Not much, Drina.
28:03You see, my grandmother's very special.
28:04She lives in a rocking chair in our basement in our house.
28:07And she's been dead for nearly 20 years.
28:09And she's really special.
28:10And don't go.
28:11I haven't told you about the magic of sellotape, Drina.
28:13The magic of sellotape.
28:14That's what I told my father to do.
28:15Get me off.
28:16Get me off.
28:16Get me off.
28:27Get me off.
28:27Get me off.
28:57It was special!
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