Mr Bigstuff Season 2 Episode 5

Snap Cine

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Transcript

00:00It's a warningly, someone don't want us to find him.

00:02Do you ever feel like you're just the worst person in the world?

00:05You're emotionally crippled.

00:08And I don't want to cruise for Winkle with you anymore.

00:12It's nearly my birthday.

00:13Me and you were going to do us a little mum, daughter, mannequin.

00:15You never said who Glenn's real father was.

00:17You're not going to tell Glenn it will kill him.

00:19Family is all that matters, isn't it?

00:23I'm going to open the good wine bay bucket.

00:25And do you know what?

00:26In fact, I'm going to whack on a bit of Sade.

00:30She is just in that kind of mood, baby.

00:33Girl.

00:34Have you tromped?

00:35Just waft it with a pillow, Glenn, it's fine.

00:37Girl.

00:38Okay.

00:39Get this down your neck, you swine.

00:42What?

00:42How?

00:44Glenn, you're scaring me.

00:45What?

00:46Glenn?

00:47Glenn!

00:50How?

00:50Good.

00:52How?

00:53I'm back.

00:56Apparently, I'm emotionally crippled, Glenn.

00:58You're having that?

01:01Am I?

01:01Crippled?

01:03Emotionally?

01:05Get out.

01:07What?

01:08Is he trumped?

01:08Just open the window.

01:09Get.

01:10Get.

01:11Get.

01:13Get out.

01:14Get out.

01:14Fuck.

01:15What the fuck is happening?

01:20He was fine, and now I don't know.

01:23Your love is me.

01:25You're the ruler of my heart.

01:28You're kissing me.

01:30Oh, shit.

01:31What?

01:33It's a tick bite.

01:34What?

01:35A fucking tick bite.

01:36He had one when we were killed to his fucking throat.

01:38It's a fucking tick bite.

01:39What in here?

01:40Where's your piraton?

01:41Oh, that's it, Campbell.

01:46Fuck off, Roger.

01:48It's in the door.

01:50Where?

01:51It's in the drawer.

01:52Well, I can't fucking find it.

02:02What the fuck is going on?

02:07Oh, my God.

02:08Hello?

02:10The door was open, Lee.

02:11Look, I've come to apologize.

02:15Oh, Christy.

02:16He can't see that.

02:20Disconnect.

02:21Disconnect.

02:22Glenn.

02:23Listen.

02:24Get.

02:25The fuck out.

02:27Both of you.

02:28No.

02:29Both of you.

02:30Pack your bags.

02:32I'll win you out of my fucking house.

02:38You ready?

02:42Uh.

02:43Not even slept on a bit of liner.

02:45It's my birthday meal, Curse.

02:47Oh, um.

02:48Lucky for you.

02:48I carry a spare Rimmel.

02:49Come on, we can do it in the car.

02:50Um, Mum.

02:51I'm not sure that we're, um, somethings.

02:54I'm a sorry, a what now?

02:56It's just because we've had, um.

02:58Susanna!

02:59Right.

03:02Shall we?

03:03Yeah, why?

03:04Shoes on, Curse.

03:05There we go.

03:06Lee can follow behind.

03:07You know it's the way.

03:08Come on, birthday girl.

03:09Your carriage awaits.

03:11Ha-ha.

03:11After you.

03:13Right.

03:13Off we pop.

03:22Hello?

03:27Hello?

03:32What?

03:33You know what, chaps?

03:36You can say what you like about a carfery, but it ain't everywhere.

03:39You get gammon and pineapple with a side of curly fries.

03:41You're not wrong, Susanna.

03:44That's yours.

03:46Mm-hmm.

03:47Your food, Curse.

03:48You've been staring at it since you arrived.

03:49It's chilli con carne, not a fucking Picasso.

03:51No.

03:53Um, it's just a bit bland.

03:55Well, salt's right there.

03:56Oh, look at that.

03:59A pair of them falling over themselves to get to you.

04:02What's that like, Curse?

04:04Two fellas at your whim.

04:05I'll need a drink.

04:07Right, cola, is it?

04:07Yeah.

04:08We'll get you another.

04:08Anyone else?

04:09How come she's on the soft?

04:10She's my birthday.

04:10Leaves off the drink, aren't you?

04:13Yeah.

04:13It's meant to be your flipping knees up.

04:15Yeah.

04:15We can still have fun.

04:16Come on, we're celebrating everyone.

04:18The big five-five.

04:19Let's have a toast.

04:19To Sue.

04:20To me.

04:20It's a bit early, isn't it, Chats?

04:31I'm only halfway through my mane.

04:36Oh, it's for breathing tube, is it?

04:39I say, don't come out of you that ill.

04:41It's depressing.

04:50Oh, it's for breathing tube.

05:20Sir!

05:22Sir, I'm locked in!

05:24I'm locked in!

05:27I am locked in!

05:32Sir, I'm locked in!

05:36What?

05:38Oh, no, no, no, the front is locked as well!

05:41What?

05:42No, no, no, yes!

05:43Wait, wait, wait!

05:45Oh, no.

05:46Yes!

05:46No, I am very happy with me pied-de-terre.

05:51All mob cons and a dummy terrace.

05:53Neighbours are cunts, but they're just jealousy,

05:55cos I've got the top floor flat,

05:57and on a clear day,

05:58you can see right the way through to Chiquiol Lido.

06:00Well, we're happy if you're happy.

06:01I am happy.

06:02Not that a lady's ship would know.

06:03Hasn't bothered to visit.

06:05Sorry.

06:06It's been busy.

06:08What?

06:09He might be better rolled enough at the moment.

06:11Lifts are out of order.

06:12Not been running seven flights.

06:13I don't know if you cope.

06:14Sue.

06:15What?

06:16I'm my mother.

06:17I might have taken a piss, didn't I?

06:18Jesus Christ.

06:19It's a bit of gentle ribbing, darling.

06:21You lose a few pounds.

06:22I said enough.

06:23Oi!

06:24It's not yours.

06:27What?

06:28It's my drink, not yours.

06:30Oh!

06:31Little bit of sibling tension there.

06:33Bring it on.

06:34Doing a round of show?

06:35Shut up, Mum.

06:37Tell you what, Sue.

06:39It's a shame Kirsty hasn't been to visit you yet.

06:41Why don't you come and stay with you for a bit?

06:43What?

06:43That's a good idea, eh, Kirsty?

06:44A couple of days, maybe.

06:45Yeah, or longer.

06:46Really?

06:46Yeah.

06:47Tell you what, wipe your back a suitcase and keep your mum company while she settles in.

06:51Lovely.

06:51Yeah.

06:52A bit of girl time, you know?

06:53Yeah, let's toast to that.

06:55Glend.

06:55What, Kirsty?

06:59Oh, here we go.

07:00Congratulations and celebrations when I tell everyone that you're in love with me.

07:08Oh, it's for that one, is it?

07:10Ten ton team in the ad boots.

07:12Not sure a fudge band is what the doctor ordered.

07:14But who am I to judge?

07:18Right.

07:19Looks like you need a refresh, Susanna.

07:21Can't have a toast with that a top-up, can you?

07:22Me and Lee will get around in.

07:23Well, we'll just get a waiter.

07:24Now, come on.

07:25Yeah.

07:33Oh.

07:35It's getting hot in here, isn't it?

07:37Probably shouldn't have worn me full get-out, but it does look good.

07:42It's, um, yeah.

07:44What?

07:45Don't you like it?

07:48Why are you wearing a tiny hat?

07:50It's not a tiny hat, Curse.

07:52It's a fascinator.

07:53I'm fascinating.

07:57Wait.

07:58Yeah?

07:59Is that your...

08:00Oh, yeah.

08:01My mother of the bride outfit.

08:03Yeah, I thought I'd show it off.

08:05Whether or not, eh?

08:07How long?

08:07How fucking long you and Kirstie?

08:09How long?

08:09Don't kiss me about me, Marina.

08:11It was one kiss, I swear.

08:12One kiss.

08:15Who, um...

08:17Who started it?

08:19Who leaned in?

08:21Well, actually...

08:23I'm not even asking.

08:28I'm not with you.

08:29Of course it was you.

08:31Your fucking virus, mate.

08:34You did everything you could.

08:35You, uh, softened her up,

08:36and then you're waiting for the kiss.

08:37Am I right?

08:41Yeah.

08:42Yeah.

08:45I knew it.

08:47Fuck!

08:47It's an outfit, isn't it?

09:06It's only right.

09:08But...

09:08But what?

09:09Don't you want to save it?

09:12Oh, come off it, curse.

09:14Ain't gonna get any use otherwise.

09:16Mum?

09:17Let's not piss around the Mulberry bush, eh?

09:19Because you two ain't getting married.

09:22And judging by tonight,

09:24I'll be surprised if you lost the year.

09:26What did you do there, eh?

09:35What was it?

09:36Just the thrill of it.

09:37And my bird, that here.

09:40This is...

09:40This is always fucking...

09:42Everyone loves Lee.

09:44Even though he half-arses it.

09:45Even though he fucks people up.

09:47Well, try as I might.

09:48I'm fucking...

09:50Fucking...

09:52Remember, Mum?

09:58Fretting about you, Lee.

10:00Big clumps for her falling out from the chemo.

10:04The cancer was...

10:06But you're why she died, mate.

10:09You?

10:10Hello, kids.

10:24Am I wrong?

10:37Hmm?

10:37No.

10:39Believe you me,

10:40cos I speak from experience,

10:43that when that rot sets in, sweetheart,

10:46there ain't nothing getting that shit out.

10:48See this odd trip to the barstool?

10:52Last and parts over here.

10:57Oh, here we go.

10:58It wouldn't be a birthday about this one,

10:59putting on the waterworks.

11:00What have you said to her?

11:01Me?

11:02Why would you assume it's me?

11:03Christ's sake, Sue.

11:04Back the fuck off, mate.

11:05You what?

11:05What have you said to her?

11:07You know,

11:08I really thought we were in for a nice evening, yeah?

11:10I thought I might get a little bit of appreciation,

11:12a little bit of respect.

11:14But no.

11:15I'm the wicked witch.

11:16Never mind that I banged you two,

11:18in my life savings,

11:19which you promptly spunked on that one's losses.

11:21I told you to rein it in.

11:22I will not rein it in,

11:23you fucking waste of space.

11:25Mum!

11:25No, worry, let's have it.

11:27How old are you anyway, eh?

11:28Landing around your little brother's gaff

11:30like your fucking colligula?

11:31Yeah?

11:32Getting to run around after you?

11:34Christ, no wonder their relationship's at death's door.

11:37Kirstie Marie Wallace,

11:38you will sit the fuck down.

11:40It's my birthday,

11:41and you don't get to ruin it.

11:42Sue, she'll pop outside.

11:43I think they've got it.

11:43Let's face it.

11:45It's not Kirstie's fault, is it?

11:46The state you're in.

11:47What do you mean?

11:47You tell me, Glenn,

11:49how long's a girl meant to wait?

11:50Because you can't play snooker with a length of rope,

11:53and that's an actual fact.

11:54Uh, should we just come back, or...?

12:06I'll tell everyone that you're in.

12:08Oi!

12:08Which of you two upset them kiddies?

12:15I work off word of mouth,

12:17and I've got four sets of parents back there fuming.

12:21Who was it?

12:22Shall I just leave it here?

12:24Yeah.

12:24I ain't leaving.

12:25One of you's is reimbursing me.

12:28Wait.

12:30Wee woolly wanky.

12:31Are you listening to me?

12:34It's no use.

12:41Alas, I am too husky.

12:47What if I pull and you push?

12:50Yeah.

12:51Hang on.

12:51I'm coming up.

12:52And he called me a nunce?

13:09What kind of man says that to a kiddies clown?

13:11I'm a joybringer.

13:14I bring them joy.

13:22Our manager's asking for you to pay and leave.

13:24Like, immediately.

13:26Kirstie?

13:27Kirstie?

13:28Where's Kirstie?

13:30Fuck!

13:32No, she's not in there.

13:33Shit.

13:34The bill.

13:35They'll pay.

13:36Okay.

13:41Well, we tried.

13:51Anyway, I'm sure you've got better evening plans than helping a silly man through a small window.

13:58Huh.

13:58Well, not really, no.

14:00I was just going to watch a rerun of Time Team.

14:03Salisbury Cathedral.

14:05The Bishop's Grave Dig.

14:08Oh, shit.

14:08I'm sorry.

14:10Spoiler alert.

14:12You're a historian?

14:15Well, yes.

14:18No.

14:19I mean, I...

14:20I dabble.

14:22As do I.

14:25Dabble.

14:31I don't suppose you fancy a drink.

14:34I don't suppose you...

14:46Fuck.

14:47Fuck.

14:51Fuck.

15:01Fuck.

15:02Fuck.

15:03Fuck.

15:04Fuck.

15:04You need to drive.

15:06What?

15:07Kirsty was gonna do it. I've had a couple of beers. You're gonna need to drive.

15:09You haven't had a drink, have you?

15:11Don't be so stupid.

15:13Hey! The bill? Someone's gotta pay.

15:16Sheer pay.

15:24Well, that's the last of it.

15:30Well...

15:32Yes.

15:34Uh...

15:35I should...

15:37Uh...

15:38No. Absolutely. Yeah.

15:40Um...

15:41Oh.

15:42Thanks.

15:43For...

15:44Not at all.

15:45Yeah.

15:46Bye now.

15:49Yeah.

15:50Before you, um...

15:52What is that rather lovely music?

15:55Oh.

15:56Puccini.

15:58I should turn it down.

16:00The neighbours will be sick of me.

16:02Always singing along.

16:06You sing?

16:10Opera?

16:11You're so gonna pay for this.

16:23Okay, but can you pay for this? Because everyone else is gone.

16:26You know when it happened?

16:28I...

16:29I...

16:30I...

16:31I...

16:32I...

16:33I...

16:34I...

16:35I...

16:36I...

16:37I...

16:38I...

16:39I love you though, don't I?

16:40Pete, you fucking ask me about.

16:42You're driving like a beast.

16:43Yeah.

16:44When I found out, I want you gone.

16:47I don't need to come back.

16:49You will hear?

16:50You know?

16:57Vintero...

16:58Vintero...

16:59Vintero...

17:01Vintero...

17:05Vintero...

17:07Oh!

17:08Oh.

17:09Oh.

17:10Oh.

17:11Oh.

17:12Oh.

17:13Oh.

17:16Right here.

17:17Well, it seems I'm here for the night.

17:25Better bed down.

17:28Yeah.

17:30Unless.

17:31Well, I can't get out, but a man slender as yourself might slip in.

18:01Stop. That's her.

18:04Glenn, I'm really sorry. I just want to make...

18:07Well done, Lee.

18:20Custy.

18:22Custy.

18:27Why have you...

18:29Turn around, Custy.

18:32I'm so sorry.

18:36Look at me, then.

18:38Fuck it.

18:39Look at me.

18:43I should have told you, but I was so scared, Glenn, and now it's just worse.

18:51It is, yeah. It's worse.

18:56I suppose you should, um...

18:59I don't know. I don't know what we do from here, but, um, at least we can work it out without Lee around.

19:09What?

19:10I know, Custy, how it happened. I've given him his marching orders, so I won't be seeing him again.

19:22What do you mean?

19:24What do you mean?

19:24I mean, he told me.

19:27Custy, he told me that he kissed you, that he made it happen.

19:31But...

19:31Oh, my God!

19:34What?

19:36What?

19:39It...

19:39That's...

19:40Glenn...

19:41That's...

19:42Not...

19:43It's not...

19:44It's not...

19:45Shit.

19:50What is it with these fucking bricks?

19:58Stop looking for Don.

20:00But we found a cunt.

20:02Good.

20:03What?

20:04It was...

20:04It was.

20:07Oh, Christy! Christy! Christy! Christy!

20:12Oh, fuck!

20:15Oh, fuck!

20:24It's fucking having, son.

20:30You wanna fuck about with me?

20:33Huh?

20:37You wanna fuck with me, cunts?

20:41You wanna fuck with me, cunts?

20:43Heartbeat, embrace my feet.

20:45You are a cat-keeper.

20:47Don't do it, it's true.

20:48Oh, fuck!

20:49Oh, fuck!

20:50Oh, fuck!

20:51Oh, fuck!

21:02Now then, who the fuck are ya?

21:07Oh, fuck!

21:11Pen!

21:12That's right, twat!

21:13Pen!

21:14But why the fuck would you do this?

21:16Will you?

21:24Oh!

21:25This is an intervention, love.

21:29Dump the cunt.

21:30Pronto.

21:39Hey, Sue!

21:40Just be a mother for once in your fucking life!

21:43This has the meltdown.

21:46But don't fuck your heart, you need to be that friend!

21:49Yeah, of course.

21:51Ehdeez all the time!

21:52When the love works, it's going to be beautiful

21:58Da-du-wan-wan-wan, da-du-wan-wan

22:01Don't cry, don't do anything else

22:04Da-du-wan-wan-wan, da-du-wan-wan

22:08Yes, she told me I'm God

22:11Yes, she told me I'm God

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