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We’re not just here to bring you the best web dramas — we’re also part of a powerful wellness network for men that cares about your performance both on screen… and in the bedroom.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00This episode of Parental Guidance contains references to self-harm and mental illness.
00:00:05Some viewers may find these topics challenging. Viewer discretion is advised.
00:00:12Parenthood is a wild ride.
00:00:14Mum and Dad are the best.
00:00:15They make our day.
00:00:16We love you.
00:00:17We love you.
00:00:18And the stakes are sky high.
00:00:20Our young people, we say that we've got it under control. We don't.
00:00:25In this special event series of Parental Guidance, we've confronted the most critical issues
00:00:31facing families today. Screen time. Peer pressure. Body image.
00:00:37It's so important that we as parents educate ourselves about what's available to our children.
00:00:42And giving parents the tools to find a way through.
00:00:46This is a life experience that we will learn from and grow from and implement.
00:00:51Tonight, in the final of these groundbreaking investigations.
00:00:57We have an incredible mental illness challenge in this country.
00:01:01I was scared to tell people.
00:01:02And it was tough.
00:01:04It's the invisible crisis crippling the nation.
00:01:08I've been to the mental hospitals with him. I've been on the street with him.
00:01:12How can parents help lay the foundations for good mental health?
00:01:17You're being mean.
00:01:18I'm not being mean.
00:01:19If I was your daughter, would I be able to come to you to tell you that?
00:01:22I don't have that problem, and I won't have that problem.
00:01:26An eye-opening look.
00:01:27You can do it, buddy.
00:01:28Into the best ways to support our kids' emotional well-being.
00:01:32There's no growth in your comfort zone.
00:01:34Yeah.
00:01:35And set them up.
00:01:37For mental resilience.
00:01:39I'm proud of you. You're so brave.
00:01:49I'm proud of you.
00:01:54Focus parents, welcome.
00:01:56Elvie and Sean, nice to see you.
00:01:58Nice to meet you.
00:02:00Hey, Amanda and Hassan, how are you?
00:02:01Good.
00:02:02How are you?
00:02:03Ready to go?
00:02:04Absolutely.
00:02:04Very excited.
00:02:06Hey, panel parents.
00:02:08Hi, guys.
00:02:09Welcome to the Parenting Olympics.
00:02:12Now, there are no medals.
00:02:14There is just the glory of knowing you might have done it right,
00:02:18and you got through another day.
00:02:21This side of the room, you're back in the hot seat.
00:02:24You are our focus parents.
00:02:28And over here, you guys, you're our panel parents.
00:02:32So watch carefully and take notes.
00:02:35You'll be voting at the end of the night on who you learnt the most from.
00:02:41Tonight, we are diving into one of the most important and challenging topics in parenting.
00:02:47Mental health.
00:02:49As parents, there's a lot we can do to build the foundations
00:02:53for our children's best possible mental health.
00:02:57Tonight, we will explore how we can raise resilient and confident kids
00:03:02in a world that kind of feels more overwhelming than ever,
00:03:05and how to tackle the tough moments when they arise.
00:03:09Right now, mental health issues among kids and young adults are at an all-time high.
00:03:17Australia is in the middle of a mental health crisis,
00:03:20particularly for young people, with stress, anxiety, depression, and self-harm all on the rise.
00:03:29As parents, the strongest defence is helping kids build emotional wellbeing,
00:03:35connections, and resilience.
00:03:37All right. Focus parents. Remind us of your parenting styles. Josh and Cassie.
00:03:46We are the life school parents. We live in our caravan.
00:03:49We learn from real-life experiences while giving our kids freedom.
00:03:53As life school parents, we've travelled around Australia for the past three years,
00:04:02giving our kids lifetime memories.
00:04:05Our kids have experienced more than what most kids will in a whole lifetime.
00:04:10Everyone's so rushed these days.
00:04:12Our kids are much happier, much more relaxed. They're certainly not wrapped up in bubble wrap.
00:04:19If they hurt themselves, unfortunately, they hurt themselves.
00:04:22One of the biggest dangers wrapping your kids in cotton wool is that it doesn't build resilience,
00:04:26and then that's when we do have a lot of these mental health issues.
00:04:32All righty. Our life school parents.
00:04:34You look like your best mates. You know what I mean? You're all together. There's no argument.
00:04:39There's no conflict. There probably is. There probably is. Don't get me wrong.
00:04:42But it's a very well-rounded family. I am the second youngest of eight kids,
00:04:49and that really helped to shape the style of parents we wanted to be.
00:04:54Elvie and Sean. We are the authoritative parents.
00:04:58We have high expectations on children. We set strict rules and boundaries.
00:05:02Say cheese. Cheese. Cheese.
00:05:06Thanks, Mum.
00:05:08As an authoritative parent, we set a lot of rules with high expectations for our children to follow.
00:05:16Esme, Stacy, lunch.
00:05:18Better be quick, otherwise mums will come.
00:05:20Sometimes I can be quite mean to them.
00:05:22Do not stop in. I raise my voice now.
00:05:27Children who get used to people being harsh to them,
00:05:32will build their resilience.
00:05:35We also believe in yin and yang.
00:05:37We do some mindfulness activities like yoga and massage.
00:05:44Mental health is super important to be a happy and also a successful person.
00:05:49OK, what did we think of our authoritative parents?
00:05:58I completely agree with those rules and expectations.
00:06:02It's like I have to be the mean mum sometimes.
00:06:04I think that is not necessarily a bad thing.
00:06:10And Amanda and Hassan.
00:06:12We are the hard way parents. We do things the hard way. No shortcuts.
00:06:17It's hard on us, but great for the kids.
00:06:19Everyone say cheese.
00:06:20Say cheese.
00:06:21Cheese.
00:06:22Yeah.
00:06:23You see a lot of parents take the easy way.
00:06:28We have a lot of screen time eating unhealthy food.
00:06:30You're just giving them a screen and you're sitting down putting your feet up having a coffee.
00:06:34Sure.
00:06:34You're not parenting.
00:06:35It's the easy way up.
00:06:36Yeah.
00:06:37Good job.
00:06:39We give our kids a lot of praise.
00:06:40And it's all about making them feel good, so nothing goes unnoticed.
00:06:44I cleaned up the lounge.
00:06:48Well done. You can get a well done sticker.
00:06:49High five.
00:06:51We prioritise mental health.
00:06:53Always checking in on the kids.
00:06:54Are you happy? Are you sad?
00:06:55Because we're always around.
00:06:56You can see if someone's a bit down, we approach them.
00:06:58Are you okay? How are you feeling?
00:06:59If they come home from school stressed, let's go for a walk.
00:07:02Well done!
00:07:03Yay! You've done it!
00:07:06There's a lot to learn for that.
00:07:08We work together as a team a lot and we do a lot of things the hard way really.
00:07:11I love that.
00:07:12No, I think it's good that you praise them.
00:07:14Every single day we praise them.
00:07:16We encourage them and motivate them.
00:07:17If they've done something, we always tell them you've done a good job.
00:07:20We just try and praise them as much as we can.
00:07:24From my opinion, as authoritative parents, we kind of give them honest opinion.
00:07:30Rather than praising them good job, we give them an honest feedback.
00:07:36It's totally natural for parents to want to praise their kids.
00:07:39Unfortunately, what happens with praise is kids start to look to their parents for
00:07:45extrinsic validation no matter what they're doing.
00:07:48Did I do this right? Did I do that right?
00:07:50We can create praise junkies.
00:07:52We're better off saying thanks, expressing appreciation, or encouraging our children to reflect
00:07:58and asking them if they think they did well and what they would do next time if they were to do it again.
00:08:03Okay, Nick and Sophia, how do you guys do it?
00:08:08We are the Positivity Parents, which means we take a positive approach to everything we do.
00:08:13In order to build confidence and self-esteem.
00:08:17Hey, Besties!
00:08:22As Positivity Parents, we teach our kids to be kind, inclusive, humble and generous.
00:08:28You are powerful!
00:08:30You are powerful!
00:08:33We definitely build up our children's self-esteem every single day by doing positive affirmations.
00:08:39We've done it consistently for years.
00:08:41Never forget, you are a blessing!
00:08:45Sophia is able to work from home as a content creator.
00:08:48One, two.
00:08:48Hey Bestie!
00:08:52The Hey Bestie videos have been happening since Alex was two.
00:08:56The most views is 53 million.
00:08:59People have said that it's helped them with depression, that it's helped their mum who has dementia.
00:09:03The teachers have played it in school.
00:09:05Being kind to someone and being positive is never going to be bad.
00:09:12Affirmations in kids is awesome.
00:09:14And in ourselves as well, not just kids, but yeah, everyone.
00:09:17I love the positive message.
00:09:19It's very cute, but I probably wouldn't be comfortable with having my kids on TikTok.
00:09:24I'd be worried that they'd be looking for approval via the likes.
00:09:28We've never said, hey Alex or Mila, this video that you've done got 50 million views.
00:09:34They have no idea about that.
00:09:37If they didn't want to do it, you'd be okay with taking them off?
00:09:39I would be okay with that.
00:09:40Yeah, then it would be done.
00:09:42I'd never want to force my kids into anything.
00:09:47Okay, four different parenting styles facing the challenges tonight.
00:09:54Panel parents, don't forget to take notes.
00:09:57At the end of all the challenges, we'll be asking you to choose which parenting style equips
00:10:02their kids best for emotional wellbeing and mental resilience, the foundations of good mental health.
00:10:10You're going to be looking for which parenting style you think helps develop autonomy and competence,
00:10:16fosters healthy emotional regulation, creates a sense of belonging, and encourages resilience and confidence.
00:10:25While there is something of a genetic lottery involved, there are a lot of things that we can
00:10:31do as parents to set our kids up to have the best mental health possible.
00:10:36The way that we support, the way that we listen, the way that we guide them can make an enormous difference.
00:10:42Shall we do a challenge?
00:10:45Yes.
00:10:47Parents are literally their kids' first role models.
00:10:51We want to see what they've learnt from you about empathy and caring for others.
00:10:56Both important elements of maintaining good mental health.
00:11:00We gave them a realistic toddler doll to look after.
00:11:05Do they know how to be nurturing towards the baby? How to meet its needs?
00:11:10So, what have your kids picked up from you? The role models in their life.
00:11:16Even at a very young age, kids copy what their parents do. In this challenge, we'll see what they've
00:11:24learnt about caring for a child from watching mum and dad. A crucial part of kids' mental health is
00:11:30feeling like their needs are being met. This challenge will show us what these children have observed about
00:11:37how to look after a child.
00:11:42You're going to have to wait.
00:11:44Kids, we've got a message.
00:11:46How do you really parent?
00:11:48To find out, give your children a chance to act as parents.
00:11:53The new baby is waiting.
00:11:56Are you ready?
00:11:56Yeah, sure.
00:11:59How exciting.
00:12:02Our side of parenting leads to be good role models for our kids.
00:12:04We do everything together as a family.
00:12:06It's a baby.
00:12:07It's a baby.
00:12:07Oh.
00:12:08With this task, I think the kids will do really well because they do this on a daily basis with their
00:12:13sister.
00:12:14We include everyone from Lamise down to Yusuf.
00:12:18Oh, it's okay.
00:12:21Rocco, do this, do this.
00:12:23Yusuf is really nurturing and caring when it comes to looking after his baby sister.
00:12:29Give her a bottle, give her a bottle.
00:12:30I don't want to eat my breakfast.
00:12:32It's okay, baby.
00:12:34Thank you, baby.
00:12:36When baby Xana was born, Yusuf was very jealous.
00:12:40And the way we overcame that is we got him involved.
00:12:42You want to get her blanket on?
00:12:44Yeah.
00:12:45Her blanket.
00:12:45It's her bedtime.
00:12:46Yeah, it's her bedtime.
00:12:47Maybe she doesn't cry.
00:12:53What's going on?
00:12:54Where do you guys go?
00:12:55Wow.
00:12:55Baby's sleeping.
00:12:56Oh, wow.
00:12:59Good job.
00:13:06Baby.
00:13:08As authoritative parents, I've given our daughters a lot of rules, so that makes it easier for them to
00:13:15copy those rules and then apply when they try to take care of others.
00:13:20I don't want to eat my breakfast.
00:13:22Why don't you want to eat your breakfast?
00:13:25If you don't eat the breakfast, no screen time for you.
00:13:27Real?
00:13:28Yes.
00:13:30Did you just cry after she said that?
00:13:33What?
00:13:34I'm just being mum.
00:13:38My children, sometimes they call me the most mean mum in the world.
00:13:44If you keep crying, no, I cry for you.
00:13:47Yeah, that's right.
00:13:48No, I cry for you.
00:13:51As an authoritative parent, I think we have a good guys and bad guys role.
00:13:57So Sean will be the one who comfort the children.
00:14:01Why won't it stop crying?
00:14:04What if we leave it here?
00:14:07And just wait for it to stop crying?
00:14:10We did implement cry out approach really strictly, 12 months of cry out approach.
00:14:18Even though Stacey cried really loud up to an hour, we still pretend not hearing that.
00:14:34Oh, okay.
00:14:40Hardway parents, your kids did really well.
00:14:42The younger one did that really well.
00:14:44Yeah, he did.
00:14:45And I love that they were all very involved with him.
00:14:47Yeah.
00:14:47With the authority parents, there was a few points.
00:14:51They're crying it out for an hour.
00:14:53It's wild to me.
00:14:54Me too.
00:14:55I know some people that work for them.
00:14:57But it feels like a year for the baby.
00:14:58You're stressing the baby.
00:14:59It's not good.
00:15:00Yeah.
00:15:00I thought it would be uncomfortable.
00:15:02The baby cries for a reason.
00:15:04You need to find out whether it's got wind, it's hungry, it's got a nappy.
00:15:07You need to find out the reason why they're crying.
00:15:09The first child, Esme, we did try the cry out approach with the company of Sean's on the bedside.
00:15:18So Esme actually, it was very hard to put her to bed.
00:15:21It didn't work for her, but I couldn't handle it.
00:15:24But Stacey, the second child, we kind of like have enough for the first child for not having good sleep.
00:15:31So did you feel that controlled crying worked with Stacey?
00:15:35Worked for the first 12 months.
00:15:38I did it with one of the girls.
00:15:40She screamed from probably 7pm till 3am every single night, all night.
00:15:46It was horrific.
00:15:48And I think it actually had a really detrimental effect on her beginning.
00:15:53From a mental health perspective, some parents will say,
00:15:57we've got to try this.
00:15:58It's the only way we're going to get through.
00:16:01In terms of research around the children,
00:16:04nobody should be doing this with a baby below six months of age.
00:16:07Similarly, nobody should be leaving a baby in the room all night to cry it out.
00:16:12There comes a point where you must intervene.
00:16:16Our children need to know that we're there for them.
00:16:19This would all be so much easier if we had a village around us
00:16:21who could come in and take the load off for a night or two
00:16:24so that you can get the sleep that you need.
00:16:26Unfortunately for too many of us, society doesn't work that way anymore.
00:16:30But this is one of our great challenges.
00:16:34Coming up, in the final instalment of our special event series...
00:16:38We get to work with everything.
00:16:40The kids spill the tea.
00:16:42Her favourite thing to do is get a matcha and just lay on the couch.
00:16:46LAUGHTER
00:16:47Temperatures rise with the year's most heated debate.
00:16:51I'm really anti that boys will be boys.
00:16:53We should be very careful not to feminise our males.
00:16:56And later, one of the country's favourite TV personalities...
00:17:01David Campbell.
00:17:02Hi.
00:17:02...pulls back the curtain on his own mental health struggles.
00:17:06I shut down.
00:17:07I was scared to tell people.
00:17:09Then, which parenting style has the best approach...
00:17:14Ticked all the boxes and moved along.
00:17:16That still didn't sit well with me.
00:17:17..when it comes to mental health.
00:17:19The family that we've learnt the most about mental health was...
00:17:22We're talking about how to give kids the foundations for the best possible mental health.
00:17:35We're in the middle of a challenge testing what the focus kids have learnt about
00:17:39meeting a child's needs.
00:17:41A key element of emotional wellbeing.
00:17:45Alright, so let's have a look at how our next two families went.
00:17:49Seeing how a child parent's adult can tell us quite a lot about how the child parented
00:17:55or how they perceive parenting.
00:17:57In this challenge, we're looking for what the kids have learnt from their parents
00:18:01when it comes to nurturing and empathy.
00:18:08Stop!
00:18:08Oh, my God!
00:18:11This is so cute!
00:18:14I'm going to be the mum.
00:18:16I'm going to act like that.
00:18:17I'm going to be the mum.
00:18:19As positive parents, we definitely do fall into a traditional family role.
00:18:24I stay at home.
00:18:24I do all the things that, you know, mum does.
00:18:28I cook, I clean, I shop, I take care of the kids.
00:18:30I take them absolutely everywhere.
00:18:32I take care of Nick.
00:18:34It is a traditional role, but then again, it's not.
00:18:37Because he'll then load the dishwasher.
00:18:39She's hungry.
00:18:45The things that they did that worked well was they were being extremely attentive to whatever
00:18:52the baby was asking for.
00:18:53Hey, you're not feeding her.
00:18:55I'm the mother.
00:18:56Give me her.
00:18:58Go and wash the dishes.
00:18:59No.
00:19:00You wash the dishes.
00:19:02The dad always wash the dishes.
00:19:05But then Mila wanted to be in charge of the baby doll.
00:19:12Yeah.
00:19:13And Alex, I could hear, was like, I'm mum, I need to be doing that.
00:19:18No, I'm the mother, I know best.
00:19:20Mums are older.
00:19:20Give me her.
00:19:21We can't break the baby.
00:19:22Why not?
00:19:23Give her to me.
00:19:24I'm going to dress her.
00:19:25Yeah, they would, they could improve on, um, sharing.
00:19:29Yeah, they could improve on sharing.
00:19:30Sharing.
00:19:32Go and edit your videos.
00:19:33I don't need to edit.
00:19:35I love my baby more than editing.
00:19:36I'm not going to edit anymore.
00:19:39Who was mummy and who was daddy?
00:19:40I was dad.
00:19:41Your mum?
00:19:42Yep.
00:19:43Daddy's changing Bonnie?
00:19:46Yep.
00:19:47Don't you think mum should have done most of the work?
00:19:51Who dresses you in the morning?
00:19:53You.
00:19:53Who dresses you for dance?
00:19:55Who dresses you when you finish dance?
00:19:58Like the only time dad dresses you is maybe if he gives you a shower.
00:20:01Yeah, we, we done that and we were putting the bj's on like dad does and then she snatched it off me.
00:20:07Can I just, can I, Mila, I dress you all the time.
00:20:10Dad dresses us at night and it was my bedtime.
00:20:13I get it, I understand, listen, I understand.
00:20:15I don't think you do.
00:20:17I'm just saying because you're saying that mummy didn't, doesn't dress you and stuff
00:20:21when mummy's always with you.
00:20:23You're being mean.
00:20:24I'm not being mean.
00:20:25I'm sorry that you think I'm being mean.
00:20:27I'm not.
00:20:28You guys did a good job.
00:20:29Both of you did a good job.
00:20:30Okay, it's all right.
00:20:34It's just a game.
00:20:36You don't need to take it so seriously.
00:20:38It's just a challenge.
00:20:40Okay.
00:20:41I love it how you said it's just a game.
00:20:43Are you telling yourself that?
00:20:45It's just a game.
00:20:46She said that dad dresses her at night time for bed.
00:20:49So was that not right?
00:20:51Sometimes.
00:20:51Yeah, no, sometimes.
00:20:52Oh, she does?
00:20:52So she was right?
00:20:53Yeah.
00:20:55Are you just like competing though?
00:20:57Like with, like who cares who's doing it?
00:20:59No, no, definitely not.
00:21:00It's got nothing to do with competition.
00:21:02It's got to do with I'm taking care of my child
00:21:05and I hope she knows that.
00:21:07I just wanted her to be truthful.
00:21:11Was that about accuracy
00:21:12or is it more about you needing validation?
00:21:17Part of me was like,
00:21:19she honestly doesn't think dad is the one dressed.
00:21:22I'm with them 24 hours a day.
00:21:24I'm raising a human that I want to be truthful and honest.
00:21:29Sophia, I think that you want your daughter to see things your way.
00:21:34Yeah, but.
00:21:35Not that you want her to be honest.
00:21:36Oh, okay.
00:21:37She's being honest.
00:21:39Yeah.
00:21:39And we've understood that Nick is involved in the dressing.
00:21:42Yeah.
00:21:42But because you want the validation,
00:21:46she's hearing that her view isn't right.
00:21:50She's being told to doubt her own voice
00:21:52and that you control the narrative.
00:21:54When our children don't feel heard,
00:21:57that's when they feel controlled.
00:22:00That's a good point.
00:22:01Yeah, fair.
00:22:01It can erode trust, damage connection
00:22:04and have a lasting impact on their emotional wellbeing.
00:22:08Yeah.
00:22:09Yeah.
00:22:11Parenting is the most thankless task that is out there.
00:22:16Our children will not appreciate what we have done for them
00:22:21until they become parents themselves.
00:22:24And until they start to grapple with the same sacrifices
00:22:27and challenges that we're making.
00:22:30Okay.
00:22:30We've got one more to see.
00:22:31Let's take a look at our life school parents.
00:22:37Oh!
00:22:39All right.
00:22:39Who's grabbing her?
00:22:40I'm going to touch you.
00:22:40I'm going to touch you, I think.
00:22:41Ah, Bronson, Will.
00:22:42Oh, come on!
00:22:43You're in great mums and dads.
00:22:44Come on.
00:22:45It's your turn, then.
00:22:46When it comes to how our kids view us as parents,
00:22:50they would think we're easygoing and give them lots of freedom.
00:22:54They've never necessarily spent time around babies.
00:22:57I'm expecting crying and the kids just not knowing what to do.
00:23:06Grab your tummy!
00:23:07Help me!
00:23:08You changed someone's diaper?
00:23:20Yeah, I've done Kingsley's before.
00:23:21Really?
00:23:22I don't have.
00:23:25Oh, I stand on it.
00:23:26It's going to cry.
00:23:27You really don't want to cry.
00:23:30It's the World Championship Baby Thrower.
00:23:38Baby just fine.
00:23:44Yeah.
00:23:44Baby just fine.
00:23:45Let's throw it to our panel parents.
00:23:48Your eldest is going to make a great father one day.
00:23:51Obviously, he remembers having little siblings and then, you know, they're playing.
00:23:55They're mucking around having fun.
00:23:57The boys were boys.
00:24:03And I'm really anti that boys will be boys.
00:24:05Like, it really does stereotype a type of behaviour that is not okay.
00:24:14I think it's very important whether you've got boys or girls at home.
00:24:16Get them involved early.
00:24:17Don't stereotype.
00:24:18Because your young boys are going to be men one day.
00:24:20That's right.
00:24:21Yeah.
00:24:22I think we should be very careful not to feminise our males too much in society.
00:24:26Oh.
00:24:29But I think that it's okay if they wanted to be a little bit more feminine.
00:24:34Stereotyping that men should just be a certain way, I think, can put a lot of pressure on men.
00:24:39I'm definitely not saying like, oh, don't do that.
00:24:42That's a woman's job.
00:24:43But boys aren't naturally nurturing, you know, and they showed that there, you know.
00:24:49They can be.
00:24:51If a man has to change a nappy or cook and clean, it doesn't make the best of a man.
00:24:55The first six to 12 months of the baby's life, especially if you're naturally nursing,
00:25:01the father is essentially non-existent. All it cares for is mum.
00:25:06Well, that can be controversial.
00:25:08So I try and help out, but my child doesn't want me.
00:25:12So mum's stressed because she's not getting a break.
00:25:14Do you know why on that? Because maybe the father didn't get involved early.
00:25:18My son's involved from when the baby's literally out of my stomach.
00:25:21I was pumping milk, he was feeding at night, and then I got up like...
00:25:24I guess what's rubbing me the wrong way...
00:25:25I didn't catch what you said the first time.
00:25:27No, no, no, no. I guess what's rubbing me the wrong way...
00:25:30Your thoughts are really, this is what goes on.
00:25:34Fair enough in your world around the people that you choose to hang around, that might happen,
00:25:38but that's not the whole world.
00:25:41Also, I do feel a lot of men in this society these days as well are not great men.
00:25:47I think we need to change that.
00:25:49I don't want my boys to grow up thinking that I can't be that robust, even stoic type of man now,
00:25:57because it's not okay to tell the men that are like that they shouldn't be.
00:26:02We know that the more men ascribe to unhealthy ideas about what masculinity is,
00:26:10I have to be tough, I have to be self-sufficient, I can't seek support, kind of man box ideal.
00:26:19The more their mental health drops, the more likely they are to be abusive or be abused.
00:26:24I don't think that you should have gender roles, even from a young age.
00:26:31The boys, my girls play with trucks just as much as my boys will play with dress-ups.
00:26:36Same thing, we don't do gender in our house.
00:26:38And my boys' favourite colour, if you'd ask them right now, would be pink.
00:26:40It's more like identity than the role. Would you accept your boys wearing skirts as the normal appearance?
00:26:50Yeah, I would, honestly. I mean we haven't come down to that, we haven't really had that conversation much.
00:26:55But if he really decided that he wanted to change genders when he was a teenager, that's a conversation we'd have.
00:27:01Identity, I believe there's a man and a woman.
00:27:03Yeah. Full stop.
00:27:06If my kids decided, well they're not going to, but if they decided they were men, that wouldn't be an option in our house.
00:27:12So, very clear.
00:27:15Oh my god.
00:27:17It won't happen.
00:27:17Strap in. Strap in.
00:27:25Identity, I believe there's a man and a woman.
00:27:27Yeah. Full stop.
00:27:29If my kids decided, well they're not going to, but if they decided they were men,
00:27:32that wouldn't be an option in our house.
00:27:35But would you stop talking to them?
00:27:37No, we wouldn't stop talking to our children, but it won't happen.
00:27:41Yeah.
00:27:41Hope it doesn't.
00:27:42You should, I don't, you'd love your child no matter what, I think, so.
00:27:46You draw the line at a cat.
00:27:49You draw the line at a cat, so it's okay to change genders, but it's not okay to be a cat, like,
00:27:53you know.
00:27:54There's no difference. If you're okay with gender to swapping, then you may as well be an animal.
00:27:58It's man and female.
00:28:03Don't you think some people are born like that, though, don't you?
00:28:06No, I don't.
00:28:06You don't think people are born feeling a certain way? You don't think that at all?
00:28:12Because a lot of people do commit suicide because of how they feel about having those feelings.
00:28:18Like, they really are born that way and they can't help how they feel. And if you're saying to your
00:28:22child, this is it, imagine if they actually felt that way and couldn't come to you to tell you that.
00:28:29I don't have that problem and I won't have that problem.
00:28:32But how do you know?
00:28:34What you're saying is you're creating an environment in your household where it's
00:28:38least likely to happen.
00:28:39Correct. It won't happen.
00:28:41If I was your daughter and I felt like I wasn't feeling like a stereotypical girl,
00:28:48would I be able to come to you as your daughter to tell you that?
00:28:52They can tell me whatever they want. We have very open dialogue.
00:28:56But like you said, it's not going to happen. There's no way of that happening. It's not happening.
00:29:00So I was just concerned about that.
00:29:03As Christians bringing the faith into it, we really need to be an open space for people that
00:29:08have these problems.
00:29:11I don't feel like it's a problem at all. It can be what you want.
00:29:14As long as you don't hurt anybody, what difference does it make?
00:29:16I don't care what you're doing. As long as you're a good, decent person.
00:29:19If my boy wants to identify as a girl and that is going to help towards mental health,
00:29:25do what you got to do.
00:29:28There's got to be room for who you want to be.
00:29:30Who cares what you are, whether you're man, woman, gay, straight, they, them.
00:29:36To me, it doesn't matter. As long as you're a nice person, you're kind.
00:29:39I honestly don't care what you identify as.
00:29:43Australia has been one of the most progressive nations when it comes to embracing an
00:29:47affirmation approach to gender identity, specifically because of mental health challenges.
00:29:54The person who has confusion and challenge about their gender identity,
00:29:58they need absolutely unquestionably compassion, love and acceptance.
00:30:05Their mental health may deteriorate to a point where their life is in danger.
00:30:10There is no single right answer. We don't know enough.
00:30:14We just have to be compassionate, patient and provide the support that our children need if this happens.
00:30:25Having had this conversation, I don't feel my views have changed at all.
00:30:29I definitely am not open in this area. I stand by the fact a man is a man and a woman is a woman.
00:30:33That was a really rigorous debate. Thank you guys for all sharing your opinions on that.
00:30:41And most importantly, with honesty and respect.
00:30:45Okay, how about a little change of pace?
00:30:49I've got something absolutely fabulous to show you.
00:30:53We got to know your kids a bit more, including what they know about mental health.
00:30:59Would you like to hear what they have to say?
00:31:03Oh gosh.
00:31:05What's mental health?
00:31:07Wait, what does that mean?
00:31:09Mental health is how you feel like in your heart and your head and how you talk to yourself.
00:31:16Your inside feelings.
00:31:18Feeling your feelings, yeah. Like our own mental health is really important to help us become more resilient, yeah.
00:31:26What do your parents do when you're upset?
00:31:29When they're sad, they always find something to cheer us up.
00:31:33A really big hug.
00:31:34Mum said it's good to cry.
00:31:36Do you guys cry much?
00:31:38What?
00:31:38No, not a lot.
00:31:39I do.
00:31:40Not too much.
00:31:41Secretly.
00:31:41What do you cry about?
00:31:42I don't know.
00:31:43Brothers.
00:31:44Yeah, when they're annoying, like, he gets away with everything.
00:31:49Describe your mum to me.
00:31:51Her favourite thing to do is get a matcha and just lay on the couch.
00:31:56When my mum goes into a shop and she wants to get one thing, and then she will end up getting the hostel.
00:32:06What's the funniest thing about caravan life?
00:32:08One more time.
00:32:10Secret.
00:32:10The van's shaking.
00:32:13You never want to know what that is at night.
00:32:18You can't hear the washing machine.
00:32:19It's the washing machine most of the time.
00:32:21Yeah.
00:32:22They buy us every toy in the world.
00:32:25We're spoiled.
00:32:26Yeah, we're spoiled.
00:32:27But our parents love us.
00:32:29That's good.
00:32:30Yeah, and me and my sister fight sometimes.
00:32:33Well, no.
00:32:34Oh, Josh and Cassie, so many questions answered.
00:32:45How many loads of washing do you do a week?
00:32:47They will never know.
00:32:52Coming up.
00:32:53Let's go, Mila.
00:32:54Two eye-opening challenges that test our kids' resilience.
00:32:58We stop.
00:33:01We do have some expectation for their performance.
00:33:04You could have left a bigger gap.
00:33:06Shush.
00:33:16And I'm not alone.
00:33:16No one, no one, no one.
00:33:17Tonight we're talking about everything to do with parenting to set your kids up with the
00:33:22foundations for good mental health.
00:33:24So, let's have a look at another challenge.
00:33:29We asked your kids to make a domino trail together.
00:33:33It seems simple, but for this to work they're going to need cooperation, patience and persistence.
00:33:40Essential skills when it comes to building good mental health.
00:33:44So, how do the kids handle a stressful situation when put under pressure?
00:33:49Do they keep their cool or did the domino effect get the better of them?
00:33:55Emotional regulation is a vital skill for children to help them to manage their feelings
00:34:01and respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
00:34:07In this challenge we're looking at what the parents have taught their kids about
00:34:10coping with frustration and how they work together as a team.
00:34:15These are critical components of good mental health.
00:34:21Got a message.
00:34:22Life can be tricky.
00:34:25Can your kids build a domino's trail using all the domino's?
00:34:30Parents, hands off.
00:34:32This is always on you.
00:34:33Oh, domino challenge.
00:34:34Yay!
00:34:35That's easy!
00:34:37Have fun.
00:34:38As life school parents, we teach our kids about the ways to deal with stress and life.
00:34:45We all have frustration.
00:34:46We all have frustrating times.
00:34:48It's the way that we deal with it that counts the most.
00:34:50Can you stop?
00:34:56How many times do I have to tell you?
00:34:59Not too much movement.
00:35:00But as life school parents, it's super important for us that our boys work together.
00:35:10It's so much easier to win as a team than as an individual.
00:35:13I told you for a handful, mate.
00:35:20How about no one just not touch the table?
00:35:22I was thinking just starting from one end of the table and working our way down.
00:35:27Okay, you start going off like that.
00:35:32All right.
00:35:32Do not move.
00:35:34Like, don't move a muscle.
00:35:35Stop that toe, man.
00:35:36Stop that toe.
00:35:37All right, we're ready.
00:35:39I just want to say that you guys have done a very good job.
00:35:42Go!
00:35:44Yay!
00:35:46That's a strike.
00:35:49Where are the domino's?
00:35:52I think it's our table.
00:35:53Oh.
00:35:55As authoritative parents, I think it's quite important for kids to stick to difficult tasks,
00:36:00even if they don't enjoy.
00:36:02I think that their perseverance will go a long way in their future life.
00:36:08Concentrate.
00:36:12Just have to be concentrate, okay?
00:36:14Make sure you concentrate.
00:36:15I am.
00:36:17It isn't as easy as shaking the table.
00:36:19Stacey, don't shake the table, please.
00:36:20Concentrate, okay.
00:36:21Concentrate, concentrate.
00:36:23Nearly there.
00:36:25Josh.
00:36:26As an authoritative parent, coming from an oriental background, we do have some expectation for their
00:36:32performance.
00:36:33Concentrate, concentrate.
00:36:34Oh, yeah.
00:36:35That's okay.
00:36:35Okay.
00:36:36We encourage our children.
00:36:38We want them to be successful, be doctors or lawyers.
00:36:43You could have left a bigger gap.
00:36:47Stop speaking.
00:36:49I'm going to start joining in, hopefully.
00:36:54Okay, okay.
00:36:55Three, two, one.
00:37:02Wow!
00:37:04Nice success.
00:37:06I should have time it, how long it took.
00:37:11Panel parents.
00:37:12I thought it was good from the live school family.
00:37:16Kids didn't give up on the challenge.
00:37:17They still persisted and saw it through to the end.
00:37:19Especially with five in a caravan.
00:37:22No one even said once, this is garbage, I'm out.
00:37:24It could have been so easy for them to just go, this is too hard, we're not doing it.
00:37:28And you guys were nowhere in sight?
00:37:29No.
00:37:30They ran their own shop.
00:37:32I felt the authority of parents.
00:37:34They were really present and very hovering over.
00:37:37Very critical.
00:37:38The very last thing is, I should have timed it.
00:37:40There wasn't time to praise it.
00:37:41It was done well.
00:37:43Do you think they would have worked together better had you not been in the room?
00:37:50Could be.
00:37:52Yeah, I felt like they were just craving to do it themselves.
00:37:56Your experience looked more outcome-based
00:37:58and Josh and Cassie looked more experience-based.
00:38:01Yeah, so we definitely wanted the shifts on things.
00:38:03We have expectations on them.
00:38:04Yeah, because you made a comment about being successful adults,
00:38:08being either doctors or lawyers.
00:38:09Sure, sure.
00:38:10What if they want to be influencers?
00:38:13We have high expectations.
00:38:15We said, we think this is good for you.
00:38:17From very young age, we start to instill different values.
00:38:22You need to have, like, stable income.
00:38:25I'm more aiming for long-term success.
00:38:28Hopefully one day they have their house.
00:38:30Life stability is most important.
00:38:33What happens if they decide,
00:38:36Mum, I'm going to be a hairdresser?
00:38:38Oh, they'll be regressed, no doubt.
00:38:41I have expectations on my children and they choose a different way.
00:38:44Of course, I would be very upset.
00:38:45There's more academic pressure on children than ever before.
00:38:50The three most important words that your children can hear, no matter what.
00:38:56My love for you is bigger than any academic choice you make or any career choice.
00:39:01I love you, no matter what.
00:39:03It can have a huge impact on our children's well-being.
00:39:08Next, with mental health in the spotlight...
00:39:11You don't let on purpose.
00:39:13Tempers are tested when things fall apart.
00:39:16You're going to put it up like this?
00:39:18No!
00:39:19And a devastating truth...
00:39:21To have it end that way, it's really hard.
00:39:23...silences the room.
00:39:25We're establishing the essentials of good mental health,
00:39:37including dealing with stressful situations.
00:39:40We're in the middle of the domino challenge.
00:39:42Should we look at our last two families?
00:39:46A simple game like dominoes takes persistence and emotional regulation.
00:39:51These are critical components of good mental health.
00:39:56Can your kids build a dominoes trail using all the dominoes?
00:40:00Parents, hands on.
00:40:01Oh, wow. How exciting!
00:40:04Our kids generally do well when they face a challenging task.
00:40:07The hard way is definitely not quitting.
00:40:09It's giving everything a go, even if you find it hard.
00:40:12Do you want to start from here then, move it around?
00:40:14Do you want to start from here then, move it around?
00:40:21You want to help pick up?
00:40:22You want to start from here then, move it around?
00:40:31With Yusuf, it's always a surprise.
00:40:33But, you know, our style of parenting is we want to get him involved.
00:40:37The easy way would be, keep him out of the task.
00:40:39Don't get him involved. Take him out straight away.
00:40:40Give him some phone time.
00:40:41But as hard way parents, give him a go.
00:40:43Yusuf, you want to put it up like this?
00:40:45No!
00:40:46I'll start from here.
00:40:48No, no, no, put it forward.
00:40:49No!
00:40:55Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
00:40:58When Hassan and I see that, you know, it is getting really frustrating
00:41:02and the kids have tried, that's where us as parents have to step up,
00:41:06you know, just relax him.
00:41:07Do this instead, okay?
00:41:10Well done.
00:41:10Yeah, good job.
00:41:11Is that fun?
00:41:14We've done it!
00:41:14Yes, we've done!
00:41:15Good job!
00:41:17Good job, guys.
00:41:21Fantastic, well done.
00:41:22There's nothing hard for us.
00:41:23We can do it.
00:41:24I think that was great, what you did there.
00:41:28The siblings did amazing at staying so calm.
00:41:31Yeah, they didn't lose it at him, which is what we teach them to do.
00:41:34Does Yusuf have any learning difficulties?
00:41:38He's only four.
00:41:39He does have some, like, difficulties with, like,
00:41:42sometimes understanding that all the attention, you know,
00:41:44can't be around him, so we're slowly always sitting with him,
00:41:46trying to calm him down.
00:41:49I would have handled that a little bit different.
00:41:50You removed him and then went and played, like, a cool fun game in another room.
00:41:57Yep.
00:41:58His behaviour was rewarded with fun time somewhere else,
00:42:02with the way we parent our children.
00:42:04I would have just removed him from there and let him watch on.
00:42:07Yep.
00:42:07The other siblings deserve a chance to do it without getting stressed or anxious as well.
00:42:11Yeah, so we're just trying to be fair to the five of them, really.
00:42:15OK, let's take a look at our Positivity Parents.
00:42:23Well, you guys should win this. You play games all the time.
00:42:25Yeah.
00:42:26We're planning to go into this challenge as Positivity Parents by being positive.
00:42:32We're going to encourage them, give them pointers,
00:42:35but we're not going to touch anything.
00:42:37So you start making the trail.
00:42:40Oh!
00:42:41I think one at a time.
00:42:45Hey, Alex!
00:42:48You've done that on purpose!
00:42:50Why did you do that, Mum?
00:42:51She knocked it over like this.
00:42:52It's OK, just start again.
00:42:54Because they're both leaders, I think it'll take a while for them to get the rhythm
00:43:00of getting into that team spirit.
00:43:02If I knock this over, I'm going to be, I'm going to punch myself in the face.
00:43:06What?
00:43:08Three.
00:43:12No!
00:43:13You can start again.
00:43:14You can start again.
00:43:16You've got to do it again.
00:43:19Listen, Mummy, you know when I say teamwork makes the...
00:43:22Dream work.
00:43:23Yeah.
00:43:24Are we doing teamwork right now?
00:43:29Ow!
00:43:30I didn't do that on purpose.
00:43:33I want to hear the positive talk.
00:43:34I don't want to hear the negative talk.
00:43:36We don't talk like that.
00:43:37Come on.
00:43:39You can do this, Mum.
00:43:41I'm literally drilling confidence into my children on a daily.
00:43:46Come on, we're almost there, Alex.
00:43:47You're almost there.
00:43:48Good.
00:43:48One more!
00:43:54High five!
00:43:55High five!
00:43:57Teamwork makes them...
00:43:58Dream work!
00:43:59Woo!
00:44:00I feel like the two girls, like they were kind of working apart.
00:44:06But you encouraged teamwork a lot too.
00:44:08Yeah.
00:44:09You were like, come on girls, let's walk together as a team, which is great.
00:44:11They're big personalities.
00:44:12I want them to be confident.
00:44:14I want them to be strong.
00:44:15They were mortified when she was like, if we don't do this, I'm going to punch myself in the face.
00:44:20And we were like...
00:44:21Not really.
00:44:22It was almost like they wanted to punish themselves for not being able to do it.
00:44:24Nah.
00:44:25They're just being characters.
00:44:27It's not them being, you know, negative or anything.
00:44:29They're just like, oh no, like, you know.
00:44:31Well, it wasn't just words.
00:44:34Like, she ended up punching herself in the head.
00:44:36Yeah, yeah.
00:44:37Did you speak to her about it?
00:44:38How did you handle it?
00:44:40No, because she's five.
00:44:43It's an anomaly.
00:44:44She's just like a kid being silly, like...
00:44:47It's important that we consider carefully, though, the words that we're saying,
00:44:51because our words do create our world.
00:44:53They probably just did something dumb and they're giving themselves a little bit of a quick uppercut.
00:44:57I shouldn't have done that.
00:44:58How silly.
00:44:59And they move on.
00:45:00But if it's a recurring theme, if that's what they say all the time,
00:45:04that's when we start to say, I wonder if there's something that we can do to make our brain
00:45:08and our self-esteem, the way we look at ourselves, a little healthier.
00:45:12Alex, she's named after my brother, whose name was Alexander.
00:45:16He had a mental illness that has a lot to do with why we are positivity parenting
00:45:25and why we want them not to be sheltered, but to look to the bright side of life.
00:45:32Yeah.
00:45:33So I have a lot of experience with mental health.
00:45:37My brother, he took his own life.
00:45:43I've been to the mental hospitals with him.
00:45:46I've been on the street with him.
00:45:47I've been, you know, like, I've been there with him.
00:45:52You know, and then at the end of it all, to have it end that way, it's really hard.
00:45:59My kids never get to meet him.
00:46:01At least I can keep him alive by talking about him, by teaching my children about kindness.
00:46:08Just be there for people and be there without judgment.
00:46:12We have an incredible mental illness challenge in this country.
00:46:24In Australia today, we'll lose nine people through suicide.
00:46:29Seven of them will be men.
00:46:32And it will happen again tomorrow.
00:46:35One of the most important things we can do is teach our children to seek support.
00:46:39Those two words, support seeking, save lives.
00:46:45And yet the overwhelming majority of people who take their own lives don't seek support.
00:46:51They try to do it on their own.
00:46:54It's my hope that by having the conversations that we're having in this room today about
00:46:58these challenges, that we'll be a little more supportive.
00:47:02And that we'll find ways to lift one another up and help them to live lives where they are,
00:47:07genuinely confident that their life is worthwhile, that their life is purposeful,
00:47:11that they're making a difference.
00:47:14Really appreciate you sharing your story.
00:47:15Oh, thank you.
00:47:21Coming up, Father of the Year David Campbell gets honest about his own mental health struggle.
00:47:28I heard my son say, Dad's not well.
00:47:32And I looked at Lisa and I said, I'm done.
00:47:35Then...
00:47:35Oh, my God!
00:47:36...an important lesson from the parenting handbook.
00:47:39I'm scared of heights.
00:47:41It's really scary.
00:47:42There's no growth in your comfort zone.
00:47:44As the kids fly high.
00:47:46Tonight, we're looking at how to lay the best foundations for good mental health for our kids.
00:48:02Who is ready to put a celebrity under the parenting microscope?
00:48:07Yes.
00:48:07Yes.
00:48:08Joining us in the parenting lounge is someone who was crowned Father of the Year alongside his dad,
00:48:16Jimmy Barnes, for their work ending generational trauma and championing the importance of good
00:48:23mental health.
00:48:25You know him from the Today Extra couch.
00:48:28Lizzie, good morning to you.
00:48:28Good morning, T.C.
00:48:30He comes from Aussie rock royalty and continued the legacy with his own extraordinary singing
00:48:36and stage career.
00:48:37Please welcome singer, performer, host and father of the year, David Campbell.
00:48:44Hi, how are you doing?
00:48:47Thanks.
00:48:48Thanks for singing.
00:48:50Hi, everybody.
00:48:51How are you doing?
00:48:52G'day.
00:48:54David, you have the most incredible life story.
00:48:57Do you mind sharing a little bit about your childhood and how it shaped your own mental health?
00:49:03So I was born in Adelaide.
00:49:05Both my parents were 16 years old and this is in 1973.
00:49:11So it was a very different time.
00:49:13And my grandmother came in and she adopted me and raised me as her son.
00:49:18So I was brought up thinking that she was my mother.
00:49:21I also thought that my mother was my sister.
00:49:23My father, he went on to be in Cold Chisel, but he was busy.
00:49:31It wasn't until Jane Barnes married my dad, Jimmy, and she's like, he has to be a part of our family.
00:49:39And after that, my grandmother said to me, you need to know that Jimmy is your dad.
00:49:46My dad was the biggest rock star in the country.
00:49:49But then she said that, uh, but that your sister is your mother.
00:49:55I was 10 years old.
00:49:56I just found out all of this information and I shut down.
00:50:00I did not cope with it.
00:50:02I did not know how to process it.
00:50:03And that was the beginning, I can tell, of trauma that lasted for a long, long time for me.
00:50:09David, will you tell us a bit about the mental health challenges that you experienced subsequent to,
00:50:16or even during this period?
00:50:18I was an extremely anxious child.
00:50:21A lot of the anxiety I felt before then was probably to do with the ADHD not being diagnosed.
00:50:29Everything else I found out made it worse.
00:50:32Trauma about change, inherent neediness that Ali knows all too well.
00:50:36You're trying to navigate all of this family drama and you've got a mullet and acne.
00:50:42It's really difficult.
00:50:44And then I was scared to tell people because I didn't want them to judge me differently.
00:50:50David, you are now really close with your dad, Jimmy Barnes, but that hasn't been an easy road.
00:50:57I know along the way on both sides, there's been abuse of alcohol.
00:51:03Yeah. You know, there's the picture that I had on my wall, and probably a lot of other Aussie
00:51:08kids and men did too, of him at the last stand holding up a bottle of vodka and a towel.
00:51:15And that sort of masculinity that he was showing
00:51:20was kind of toxic, you know.
00:51:22And so I thought that was how you had to act, particularly when you become a singer.
00:51:28You know, they throw free booze at you, and the wilder you act, you get rewarded.
00:51:35And so by the time I realised I was starting to have more and more of a problem with booze,
00:51:42it had already latched on.
00:51:44And so then when I had Leo, my oldest, one morning we were having our first holiday as a family,
00:51:53and I couldn't stop being sick.
00:51:56I didn't feel like I drank that much compared to what I have drunk in the past.
00:52:01Almost didn't make the flight.
00:52:03And it was tough, because I heard my son say, Dad's not well.
00:52:09And I looked at Lisa and I said, I'm done.
00:52:15I can't have him see me that way. He's three.
00:52:18I won't let that be a memory for him.
00:52:21Like all the memories that I can close my eyes and see in my head of my family, both sides,
00:52:28going through the same motions, the same cycles time and time again.
00:52:32Something has to give here. And so if that's me not drinking, then that's fine.
00:52:36And that was it. That was it. Last time you had a drink.
00:52:41Your journey, challenges, how you, you know, come to sobriety, all that sort of stuff.
00:52:47Right. Very much our journey.
00:52:49You guys are sober too? Yeah.
00:52:50Yeah. Congratulations. Five years.
00:52:52Five years. I'm so pleased for you both.
00:52:54Thank you. Thank you.
00:52:57You've battled alcohol abuse, anxiety, ADHD.
00:53:02So how do you parent specifically around mental health?
00:53:07We talk about our emotions if we're feeling frustrated at something.
00:53:11We're like, guys, we're just, we're not having a good day today. We're just tired.
00:53:14It's really hard.
00:53:15Us talking about our own mental health, I think, allows them to talk about theirs.
00:53:20You know, tell us what you're feeling.
00:53:21If it gets overwhelming, let's not fight.
00:53:23Everybody calm down. Tell me what's going on.
00:53:26I may not be able to solve this, but let's try.
00:53:29And sometimes that means they've got to cry. Boys have got to cry.
00:53:32Otherwise they just keep it all pent up.
00:53:35Oh man, I wish I had that ability when I was his age.
00:53:39I also don't give them too much details.
00:53:42I knew too much at a young age about too many traumas.
00:53:46You still need to have a good boundary there.
00:53:47Yeah.
00:53:48I want them to have structure and I want them to know that they're safe.
00:53:51Yeah.
00:53:53So many of us didn't have a perfect childhood.
00:53:57It is good to know it's never too late to break that cycle and change course for the sake of our kids.
00:54:04Everybody, can we just give a big round of applause and a big thank you to David Campbell,
00:54:09Father of the Year.
00:54:18Coming up...
00:54:19You know, I'm scared of heights.
00:54:20How do our kids respond when fear takes hold?
00:54:23I don't want... I don't want to...
00:54:25And when they need you most...
00:54:27Don't think about it. Don't look down.
00:54:28That's fine. It's safe.
00:54:30Are you ready to lead?
00:54:33Plus, the panel vote.
00:54:35We could go to a tie here. Who knows how this is going to play out.
00:54:38We're talking mental health and how we lay good foundations
00:54:49while equipping our kids to understand it, talk about it and manage it.
00:54:56Parenting is all about lifting our kids up.
00:54:59But what happens when they are literally hanging in the air?
00:55:04For our final challenge, one child from each family is taken on a thrilling,
00:55:11high-flying adventure.
00:55:12Meanwhile, their families are on the sidelines offering encouragement.
00:55:17This isn't just about your children's bravery.
00:55:21It's about how parents coach their kids through fear and anxiety,
00:55:26looking at the tactics that you're going to enlist.
00:55:30In Australia, anxiety disorders are the most common mental health issue
00:55:35among children 14 and up.
00:55:37So, ironically, facing fears can help to reduce anxiety.
00:55:43Avoidance, on the other hand, reinforces anxiety.
00:55:47This challenge will reveal how the focus parents coach their children
00:55:52during a potentially scary situation.
00:55:55What tools are they going to use to encourage their kids to do the risky thing?
00:55:58I haven't got a text.
00:56:04Life can throw some big challenges.
00:56:07Can you support Jasper as he takes a huge leap?
00:56:10Jasper!
00:56:11Jasper!
00:56:12Why me?
00:56:14You're the chosen one.
00:56:16You can do it, buddy!
00:56:17You can do it!
00:56:17You can do it!
00:56:18How exciting!
00:56:18Let's go!
00:56:20In this challenge, the children will ascend to the top of a tall structure.
00:56:25And with Hearts Racing, it is up to the parents to help them build up the courage to take the plunge.
00:56:32Welcome to the Great Aussie Bush Camp, buddy.
00:56:34Your leap of faith challenge today is to get pulled up 13 metres
00:56:39and you're going to pull a ripcord and go for an exhilarating giant swing
00:56:43in this area here and over the lake.
00:56:44How does that sound?
00:56:45Scary.
00:56:46Sounds scary?
00:56:48As life school parents, it is extremely important that our kids push themselves
00:56:53and take themselves out of their comfort zone.
00:56:56You know, I'm scared of heights.
00:56:58I'm going to pass out.
00:57:01Remember when we went on that big gorge walk and we went right to the top
00:57:06and we were like, who's going to jump from this height?
00:57:08What did you say?
00:57:09There's no growth in your comfort zone?
00:57:11Yeah.
00:57:13This has not passed your limits because I've seen you jump off that rock climb.
00:57:18Most of our fears that we get is more our mind taking over rather than reality itself.
00:57:25How do you feel?
00:57:27Nervous.
00:57:29Nervous is normal.
00:57:32Oh, I'm going to shh.
00:57:33That's all right.
00:57:35All right, Jasper, when you're ready, buddy.
00:57:37You want to go again?
00:57:51Woo-hoo!
00:57:54Well done!
00:57:55Yes!
00:57:56You want to go again or...?
00:57:57No!
00:58:06Oh my god!
00:58:07As positivity parents, it isn't that big of a deal whether the kids do something or not.
00:58:14What is important to us is them giving it a go.
00:58:17You get to pull a little cord, release yourself and go for an epic swing.
00:58:23I'm so excited.
00:58:26You guys have to do this after I do it.
00:58:28No chance.
00:58:29Let's go, Mila.
00:58:31So you're not even scared one single bit.
00:58:33Look at you.
00:58:34Oh my god, yay!
00:58:35I think Mila was very sure of herself because of the way we do parent her.
00:58:41You know, doing our positive affirmations is incredible for building their confidence.
00:58:48Three, two!
00:58:49Three!
00:58:50Let's go, Mila.
00:58:51One!
00:58:55Oh my god!
00:58:56You got me!
00:58:57Oh my god!
00:58:57If I went up there, you know how you have to pull?
00:59:00I would have loved if you went up there.
00:59:01I would have just not pulled it.
00:59:02Oh wow.
00:59:04I'm so proud of you.
00:59:10Yes.
00:59:11High five.
00:59:14I'm scared.
00:59:15It's okay.
00:59:17As authoritative parents, we have very high expectations of our children.
00:59:21I don't think she wants to disappoint us.
00:59:27Mom, if I do this, I get Robux. Robux after this.
00:59:32$10 gift card.
00:59:35We did offer a small amount of virtual money for her to participate.
00:59:46Oh no.
00:59:48It's scary.
00:59:50It's so high up.
00:59:52Remember what you can get after this?
00:59:54Robux.
00:59:58You are now on the zipline.
01:00:00Go, Stacey.
01:00:01Deep breath for me.
01:00:02Whenever you're ready, Stacey.
01:00:04I'm scared.
01:00:14Whoa!
01:00:14Yay!
01:00:24Well done, Stacey.
01:00:26I'm proud of you.
01:00:26You're so brave.
01:00:28Great.
01:00:28Well done, guys.
01:00:33Panel parents, what did we think?
01:00:34You did great.
01:00:35All of you did great at the pep talk.
01:00:37But building their courage up to go, you've got this.
01:00:40The Life School family did a great job.
01:00:42I want to steal that line, no growth in your comfort zone.
01:00:45I love that.
01:00:45Yeah, I love that.
01:00:45That was really good.
01:00:46That was really good.
01:00:47That came from him.
01:00:49I really liked how you explained how they'd done it before and how they could overcome it if
01:00:54they just put their mind to it.
01:00:55I really liked that.
01:00:56You were great.
01:00:56Yeah, good reminder.
01:00:57It was also impressive with the positivity parents that they just got up and straight and did it.
01:01:01Our daughter Mila, she's a very big daredevil.
01:01:03We just had the pleasure of watching it.
01:01:05Yeah, she was really confident.
01:01:06Yeah, she was.
01:01:07Elvie and Sean, I noticed a little bit of bribery.
01:01:11I felt like Stacey was only pretending because she has done more dangerous right than this.
01:01:17She's probably just trying to get the reward she wants.
01:01:20I think bribery can be a really useful tool just to fully get out their potential.
01:01:30Bribery is the easy way out where it becomes more like a transaction.
01:01:34We don't feel like that's the right thing to do.
01:01:38As upfront parents, we're all for a bribe.
01:01:40When you have four children that need to be in the car at 8.15 every morning with their shoes,
01:01:44their bags, their violins, get in the car on time and you can have three lollies at the end.
01:01:52Boom!
01:01:53When it comes to reward, yes, it motivates kids, but what does it motivate them to do?
01:01:58It motivates them not to do the task, but to get the reward.
01:02:03There are better ways to encourage our children.
01:02:05Provide a really clear rationale for why.
01:02:08The high dive looks really big now, but if you try it, you might feel really proud afterwards.
01:02:14When kids associate these tasks with personal satisfaction or joy,
01:02:18you'll find that kids buy in and they don't have to be bribed.
01:02:24We have one more parenting style to have a look at.
01:02:26Shall we see how our Hardway parents went with the Dare to Fly Challenge?
01:02:31Here we go. Watch these guys. You can see what you're going to be trying.
01:02:34Wow!
01:02:36As Hardway parents, it's always important for the kids to step out of their comfort zone
01:02:40and try something new.
01:02:41And you need to push them and encourage them to do more.
01:02:43Support them to see how much they're capable of, because they'll surprise you sometimes.
01:02:47Tell me, what are you thinking? Talk to me.
01:02:48I'm really scared and nervous.
01:02:50That's fine. That's fine.
01:02:51Maybe after you do it once, you'll be the master at it.
01:02:53That's right.
01:02:54I knew he was putting on a brave face. Keep looking up.
01:02:59I think you can.
01:03:00But I know deep down the side, he was scared.
01:03:03Let's go, man, lad!
01:03:04You can do it, man!
01:03:08It's a small platform, not a lot of space up there.
01:03:11Man, let's pretend you're still down the bottom, okay?
01:03:13It'll be over. Take your time. Don't think about it.
01:03:16It's fine. It's safe. Don't think of it. Don't look down.
01:03:22One, two, three. Lean out. You can do it. You can do it.
01:03:24Good boy, mate. Good boy.
01:03:25Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:03:29It's really scary.
01:03:30Hold on tight. Right now, on the count of three, you're going to jump off. Ready?
01:03:35One, two, three. Benjenine, you don't want to?
01:03:38No.
01:03:47Two, three. Lean out. You can do it. You can do it.
01:03:50It's really scary.
01:03:53Right now, on the count of three, you're going to jump off. Ready?
01:03:55One, two, three. Benjenine, you don't want to?
01:03:58No. That's okay.
01:04:01We're not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do.
01:04:04Do you want to watch someone else go first?
01:04:07Yeah? Should we make your dad have a go first so you can watch him have a go?
01:04:11And then you can go afterwards? How's that sound? Yeah?
01:04:16Put your second hand on the bar. All right, now just bend your knees.
01:04:21It's very high. I am scared, but I have to lead by example.
01:04:25A little jump, a little jump, go. Yes.
01:04:30Say nice and easy.
01:04:35See how easy it is?
01:04:36You can do it, buddy. You can do it.
01:04:38That was so much fun.
01:04:40You can do it? I reckon you can too.
01:04:42He's going to do it.
01:04:44A little jump off. Go, go, go.
01:04:45Yes!
01:04:46Good job!
01:04:49Good job!
01:04:50Well done, Mohand. I'm so proud of you.
01:04:53Nice one.
01:04:58Loved it. You were great role models.
01:05:00There's that fine line between forcing him and encouraging him to go in.
01:05:03That's right.
01:05:04And you did that well.
01:05:04Even if after I had done it, he didn't want to do it?
01:05:05Yeah, we were fine with that.
01:05:06Totally going to understand that.
01:05:07As long as he saw his dad doing it.
01:05:08I think that's what it's all about too.
01:05:09I like that Hassan led by example.
01:05:12Yeah, I love that he did that.
01:05:18We've had some vital conversations in this room,
01:05:21and we have learned so much from each of our Focus parents.
01:05:25Navigating our kids' mental health can be challenging,
01:05:29but tonight's insights and tools will help lighten the load for all of us.
01:05:34Okay, we need to get to our panel discussion.
01:05:36Focus parents, I'll ask you now to please step up and out of the room.
01:05:45Panel parents, back row, come down to the front.
01:05:48We're going to discuss each of the parenting styles
01:05:51and how effectively it lays the foundation for children's long-term
01:05:55emotional resilience and mental wellbeing.
01:05:58Remember, we're looking for parents who develop autonomy and competence,
01:06:03foster healthy emotional regulation, create a sense of belonging,
01:06:10and encourage resilience and confidence.
01:06:14Let's start by talking about Josh and Cassie.
01:06:18I think there's a lot to learn from the live school parents,
01:06:20and the boys show it really well.
01:06:22They really seem to be well-rounded kids.
01:06:24I don't think they got through all the challenge points.
01:06:26When the baby was crying, they eventually worked out we have to change it.
01:06:31Like the older boy, you could tell he had been around that situation.
01:06:35So he kind of had a bit more forward thinking of what to do.
01:06:38I was concerned with the comment one of the boys made about,
01:06:41you know, he has to cry in secrecy.
01:06:43Do you guys cry much?
01:06:44No.
01:06:45I do.
01:06:45Not too much.
01:06:46Secretly.
01:06:47Even one of Josh's comments was,
01:06:49we've got to be men, we've got to be masculine.
01:06:51That still didn't sit well with me.
01:06:52Elvie and Sean.
01:06:56Everything was disciplined.
01:06:57It's like, if you do this, I'll give you this.
01:06:59Or if you don't do this, this will happen.
01:07:01Concentrate, concentrate.
01:07:03I am.
01:07:03I think it's very cultural.
01:07:05I take my hat off to them for implementing what they believe
01:07:09in a culture that doesn't necessarily support that.
01:07:12Yeah.
01:07:12It must be hard.
01:07:14They're obviously very articulate.
01:07:16I think the answer to having your inner voice was one of the best answers.
01:07:19Mental health is how you feel and how you talk to yourself.
01:07:23They obviously talk about it.
01:07:24So there's a lot of positive things that are happening there.
01:07:27Okay.
01:07:27Let's talk about our hard way parents, Amanda and Hassan.
01:07:33The thing I really liked about the trapeze challenge was dad said,
01:07:37you know what?
01:07:37I'm not really great with heights, but I'm going to do this.
01:07:39I'm going to give it a go.
01:07:40And he gave it a crack.
01:07:41And then, you know, the, the sun follows.
01:07:43Oh, I'm so proud of you.
01:07:45They showed in that domino challenge that they knew Yusuf.
01:07:49Needed to be removed at that point in time to get the challenge moving forward.
01:07:53I don't think you should reward kids.
01:07:54They're having a tantrum.
01:07:56I don't agree with rewarding bad behavior.
01:08:00Our positivity parents.
01:08:02I wrote down that they might have been a bit too involved with some of the tasks.
01:08:05Teamwork makes the dream work.
01:08:08Are we doing teamwork right now?
01:08:10But the girls are still young.
01:08:11When my kids were five, I probably was hands-on too.
01:08:14Yeah.
01:08:14You can't criticize how confident the girls are.
01:08:17Yeah.
01:08:20Eldest daughter just got in there, gave it a go.
01:08:23It was quick, sharp.
01:08:24Three, two, one, bang.
01:08:25And she's off.
01:08:25Here's a challenge.
01:08:26Go another, pull it.
01:08:27Easy.
01:08:29All right.
01:08:29Well, I think we've had some really good discussion around which parenting style
01:08:32handled mental health the best.
01:08:35Return to your seats.
01:08:36We are ready to bring the focus parents back in.
01:08:45Focus parents.
01:08:46The panel has talked it out and they are ready to share their thoughts.
01:08:53Nathan and Joanne, our traditional parents.
01:08:56We agonized over it because there's so many great points to take.
01:09:00We ended up going with the life school parents, Josh and Cassie.
01:09:04Looking at your boys, there's so much evidence of how resilient they are.
01:09:09You know, when they interact with each other and everything else,
01:09:12that's a really good marker for us in terms of their mental health.
01:09:18We believe the positivity parents was best aligned with mental health.
01:09:22We really like the confidence of your young girls.
01:09:26And that says a lot about obviously the conversations you've had with them.
01:09:30Even if they're sometimes saying the wrong thing, they've got a voice
01:09:33and they're not afraid to use it.
01:09:35And that's important for mental health.
01:09:38I think you've all done amazing.
01:09:40But we've also chosen the positivity parents.
01:09:42I think when it comes to mental health, you guys are nailing it.
01:09:45You've done really well.
01:09:46The main thing that I loved was the daily affirmations.
01:09:48I think that's so beautiful.
01:09:49Thank you very much.
01:09:51Well done positivity.
01:09:52I mean, we could go to a tie here.
01:09:54Who knows how this is going to play out?
01:09:56It all comes down to you, Mark and Tammy.
01:09:58You've got the deciding vote.
01:10:02It was really difficult.
01:10:04The family that we probably learnt the most about mental health
01:10:07was from the life school parents.
01:10:10And we saw the connections that they have
01:10:12and the ability that they have to be able to just get stuff done
01:10:16and problem solve and work through things.
01:10:19Awesome. Thank you.
01:10:20Thank you for the feedback.
01:10:22That is a tie for the first time ever in parental guidance's history.
01:10:26The parents with the best parental guidance when it comes to building good mental health are
01:10:31Positivity parents Nick and Sophia.
01:10:35And our life school parents Josh and Cassie.
01:10:42Appreciate the feedback from, you know, fellow parental peers.
01:10:46I'm just so happy that we are all here and we're all talking about mental health.
01:10:51We're all learning.
01:10:52But at the end of the day, mental health is the most important thing.
01:10:57You've tackled some of the hardest parenting conversations head on.
01:11:02And if there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that parenting is always evolving.
01:11:10By having these conversations and learning from each other, we walk away better equipped,
01:11:16more confident and ready to guide our kids through whatever the modern world throws at them.
01:11:21For me, the experience was an eye-opener because you are your children's biggest role model.
01:11:29You are the person that they're looking to every single day for guidance.
01:11:33Group hug.
01:11:33Group hug.
01:11:35You know, nobody's perfect and I have definitely learned something from that.
01:11:39I will go home being a better parent thanks to what I've heard from you in this room.
01:11:44If anything in this program has raised concerns for you or someone you know,
01:11:59please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or lifeline.org.au.
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