Here We Go Season 3 Episode 7

Snap Cine

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Transcript

00:00First before 1995.

00:10Everything smells weird in this house.

00:13No, I'm sorry, but we're not stopping.

00:15It's a medical emergency, Rachel.

00:17No, we're already late.

00:18If you want to go to the shops on the way,

00:20then spend less time in the toilet before we leave.

00:22It's not going to the shops.

00:24I need Imodium.

00:25I'm not well.

00:26It doesn't smell well, to be fair.

00:28Thank you, Mum.

00:30Hang on, what does that mean?

00:31Well, you've got that poorly dog smell.

00:34It's not funny, Sam.

00:36I'm febrile.

00:37You're what?

00:38I have a fever.

00:39I'm freezing.

00:40Hence the hot pot.

00:41Please, can we stop on the high street, Rachel?

00:43No.

00:44Oh, I actually want to pick up some food as well.

00:45No, there's no time.

00:47Amy, how far is this church?

00:49Still can't find it.

00:50What's it called again, Granny?

00:51St Ival's.

00:52It's the big one near the Esso garage.

00:54Okay.

00:55St Ival's?

00:56St Ival makes cream, Mum.

00:58Oh, does he?

00:59Well, the company does, yeah.

01:00Oh.

01:01Surely St Ival isn't a real saint.

01:02They'd be staggered if he is.

01:03Well, who am I thinking about then?

01:05St Michael, maybe?

01:06No, that's Marks and Fence.

01:07Which Esso garage?

01:08St Nigel.

01:09Oh, my God.

01:10As if there's a St Nigel.

01:11Which Esso garage, Sue?

01:12The one with the pumps and the big lorry sometimes.

01:15Ridiculous.

01:16Ridiculous description, Mum.

01:18Oh, okay.

01:19I think I've found a St Michael's.

01:20Oh, it's Bionetto garage.

01:21Fantastic.

01:22It's just left up here, Mum.

01:23Oh, can we go via a chemist, Amy?

01:25No.

01:26The service starts in 15 minutes.

01:28Oh, it is near.

01:29It's really near the high street, actually.

01:30Huh?

01:31No.

01:32I'll just nip in.

01:33Or do you want me to get diarrhoea during the christening?

01:35Well, you'd have to go in the font.

01:36Exactly.

01:37No, I wouldn't go in the font.

01:38That's ridiculous.

01:39I'd just do it in my trousers.

01:40Not in the toilets?

01:41God.

01:42All the toilets, yeah.

01:43But even so, it would be very disruptive at the service.

01:49Doesn't she look slamming?

01:50Just extraordinary, actually.

01:51Yeah.

01:52You'd never know she'd just had a baby, would you, Paul?

01:54I know.

01:55Huh?

01:56Wow.

01:57Oh, yeah, four.

01:58Four?

01:59Four?

02:00What?

02:01I mean, wow.

02:02Wow.

02:03I meant to say wow.

02:04I wasn't concentrating.

02:05You look amazing.

02:06Right.

02:07And is this all from yoga?

02:08Oh, no.

02:09Yoga's wank.

02:10This is all down to Katie, my pete.

02:11What?

02:12Unusual surname.

02:13My girlfriend, Katie, is a personal trainer.

02:14Oh, okay.

02:15Wow.

02:16Teen scog.

02:17Wow.

02:18Yeah.

02:19You should totally try her age, I swear down.

02:22She has worked wonders on my pelvic floor, ain't she, babe?

02:26Just a bit.

02:27She could strangle a cat down there.

02:28I can.

02:29Wow.

02:30Well done.

02:32Meow.

02:33Yeah, no, maybe I should, you know.

02:34I mean, I have been feeling a bit stiff recently.

02:35Yeah, you're just getting old, love.

02:37Great.

02:38You know, that happens if...

02:39Oh!

02:40Oh, hell!

02:41Oh!

02:42I've split the neck on my hotbot trying to pull the stopper out.

02:45Oh, no.

02:46Dang.

02:47Dang?

02:48Yeah, dang.

02:49I should have to replace it now.

02:50I love this hotbot.

02:51Please, don't call it a hotbot.

02:53No.

02:54Maybe it's a sign.

02:55Sign of what?

02:56To get an electric blanket.

02:57No, no.

02:58No way, Jose.

02:59No way.

03:00Why?

03:01Because that's what elderly people do, like complain in restaurants and like Michael Ball and...

03:05You love Michael Ball.

03:06Mmm.

03:07We'll be picking our cemetery blocks next.

03:09Well, no.

03:10We'll just go in the same one.

03:11Save a bit of money.

03:12No, I don't want to think about it.

03:13You see, this is why I'm stiff.

03:14Yeah.

03:15Because you and your hotbot forced me to...

03:17Oh, God.

03:18Live...

03:19I can't get up.

03:20Live like...

03:21Oh, thank you.

03:22Live like a pentonym.

03:23It's your hotbot pot.

03:24Really, Mum?

03:25Yeah.

03:26Can you?

03:27I've got a roll of duct tape in me bag, look.

03:28Why have you got duct tape, Sue?

03:29Duct tape.

03:30Oh, yeah.

03:31Well, in case I need to, you know...

03:33Kidnap someone?

03:34Splinters, fix a brolly, just general taping.

03:37And I've got a torch pen.

03:39Is duct tape waterproof then?

03:40Duct tape.

03:41Don't know.

03:42Of course it is.

03:43That's why it's called duct tape.

03:45Oh!

03:46It's not called duct tape.

03:47It's not...

03:48There it is.

03:49It's called duct tape.

03:50You have to pronounce both of the T's.

03:52Duct tape.

03:53Right.

03:54Is a brand name.

03:55As fascinating as this is, I have got to go and meet Katie!

03:58Oh!

03:59So, we're looking after Atlas again, are we?

04:00Yeah.

04:01I am, yeah.

04:02I want to get as much of him as I can before my big trip.

04:06Oh, well, actually, Paolo, on the Atlas front, we did want to ask...

04:09Yeah?

04:10...if you'd be interested in being one of the Godfathers at the Christie.

04:13How?

04:14Really?

04:15Yeah.

04:16Yeah, well, right, she's got my bar.

04:17Yeah.

04:18Oh!

04:19Oh, my Godfathers!

04:20I've never been asked to be a Godfather before!

04:23Yeah.

04:24Well, this is wondrous news!

04:25Wondrous!

04:26All right.

04:27I promise I won't let you down, guys.

04:28Okay.

04:29Or you, Guy.

04:30That is a Godfather guarantee.

04:31Yeah.

04:32I just have to work on my Godfather impression.

04:34Oh!

04:35Goodbye!

04:36Shh!

04:37I forgot you're going to wait.

04:38I'll go, yeah.

04:39I'll go.

04:40Weren't you got any keys?

04:41Why haven't you got any friends?

04:43Okay.

04:44Nice to see you too.

04:45Hi, Graeme.

04:46Not Graeme.

04:47Okay.

04:48Cool.

04:49Don't take the piss out of my pizza!

04:51You dirty rat!

04:52What are you doing?

04:53Huh?

04:54Oh, nothing.

04:55Hi, Graeme.

04:56Hi.

04:57It's G now.

04:58Hello.

04:59Hi.

05:00Yes, sorry.

05:01I was just doing a Marlon Brando impression from the Godfather.

05:02It doesn't matter.

05:03Don't take the piss out of my pizza.

05:04That's not in the film.

05:05Well, that's sort of it, isn't it?

05:07You know?

05:08No.

05:09Sorry, Graeme, is that...

05:10That's not a guitar in there, is there?

05:11Wow.

05:12Detective Jessup has done it again.

05:14Gee, yeah.

05:15Why?

05:16Well, just because the baby's asleep over there.

05:18You can't shred your accent here, mate.

05:19Well, we want to rehearse.

05:21My keyboard's upstairs.

05:22Okay.

05:23Why else would I come over?

05:24To use the Wi-Fi, to get your washing done, to have a bath.

05:28You find quite a few reasons, Amy.

05:30Yeah, why can't you just get your keyboard and take it back to your flat?

05:33Because it's heavy.

05:35Oh.

05:36And Maya's...

05:37Well, we're trying to give each other space while she packs up.

05:39Aw.

05:40Yeah, so, anyway, we really need to practise.

05:43Aw, you're that bad, are you?

05:45We...thanks.

05:46We've got Bedford Battle of the Bands next month.

05:48Whoa!

05:49B-B-O-T-B!

05:50No way, is that still going?

05:51Yeah, and we're playing The Lamb and Flag next week.

05:53Oh, I know.

05:54I can't wait.

05:55You're coming.

05:57Yeah, I am not good luck.

05:59Charm G, I saw the Beatles when they were still tiny.

06:02Mm-hm.

06:03And look how well they did.

06:05Very, very well.

06:06Did you?

06:07I didn't know that.

06:08Yeah.

06:09In 1961, I was only 15.

06:11I gave George Harrison a cigarette.

06:14Wow!

06:15One of those.

06:16George Harrison actually died of lung cancer.

06:18So...

06:19Mm.

06:20Yeah, but that wasn't Sue's fault, was it?

06:22No.

06:23No, you didn't give him his first cigarette, did you, Sue?

06:28Or did you?

06:29I don't know.

06:30I mean, he didn't have any of his own or a lighter, so I suppose it's possible.

06:36Uh-uh.

06:37Oh, my God.

06:38It killed George.

06:39Oh, then.

06:42I mean, I'm sure that's not strictly true.

06:44Yeah.

06:45Graham.

06:46Gee.

06:47You know, legally speaking.

06:48Can't prove anything.

06:49No.

06:50He must have smoked before that.

06:51Yeah.

06:52That's all anyone did in those days.

06:53Yeah.

06:54Oh, babe, babe.

06:55It's on Sunday the 14th.

06:56Right.

06:57He said to BBOTB after the christening deal at the George.

06:59Make a night of it.

07:00Bum!

07:01Bum!

07:02No, he can do that.

07:03What was that?

07:04Would that look like that, or...?

07:06Yeah.

07:07He might, actually.

07:08Would he?

07:09Yeah.

07:10Okay.

07:11He really likes white noise.

07:12Yeah.

07:13Oh, yeah, well, that's not actually what we play.

07:14Oh, God.

07:15BBOTB?

07:16I haven't been there for about 15 years.

07:17I cannot wait to go back.

07:18Just when you think you've left the Mafia for good...

07:19Oh, do it again.

07:20...they ask you back to the Mafia.

07:22I mean, that's not even close, Dad.

07:24Well, it's sort of a general gist, isn't it?

07:26Hang on, Paul.

07:27Huh?

07:28You have been christened, right?

07:29Because to be a godfather, you have to have been christened.

07:32Er...

07:33I don't know.

07:34You had me christened, didn't you, Mum?

07:35Er, hang on, let me think.

07:37Er, we definitely had you circumcised.

07:39Oh, well, I'm aware of that.

07:42Thank you for telling Terry and G that!

07:43I don't care.

07:44No, we're christened.

07:45Er, I think...

07:46No.

07:47Oh.

07:48Really?

07:49Why?

07:50Because I don't believe in God.

07:52Hmm.

07:53You do believe in ghosts, though, don't you see?

07:55Well, that's different.

07:56Ghosts and angels I've got no problem with.

07:58Hmm.

07:59So, you believe in angels, but you don't believe in God?

08:02Well, who are they working for, then?

08:04Well, no one.

08:05They're freelance.

08:06I'm sorry, Paul, but Father Damien is well-stricted about this stuff, so...

08:12I mean, can't you just tell Father Damien that I'm christened anyway?

08:16Well, no, because Sue says you haven't been, so...

08:19Yeah, but she can, you know...

08:22What?

08:23...lie.

08:24No.

08:25No, I'm not doing that.

08:26No.

08:27Well, why not?

08:28No-one will know.

08:29No, God will.

08:30Yeah.

08:31You don't believe in God?

08:32Exactly.

08:33So I'm already in this bad book, so I'm sorry.

08:35Um, I've got a feeling that Dean hasn't been christened either.

08:38No.

08:39Well, he's out and old then.

08:40Oh.

08:41Oh, really?

08:42Yeah.

08:43Just get christened now, as an adult.

08:44Oh.

08:45Well...

08:46Well, you can do that.

08:47Yeah, I mean, it's a lot of faff when you're old.

08:49Like, it's like a chicken pox, you know what I mean?

08:51You want to get it when you're a kid.

08:52It just depends on how much you want to be a godfather, really.

08:54Yeah.

08:55Big.

08:56A big amount.

08:57Big amount.

08:58Please.

08:59You see?

09:00There's nowhere to park.

09:01It's all double yellow.

09:02Just bang on your hatsits and park where you like, Rachel.

09:05That's what I do.

09:06Yes, well, you shouldn't, Sue.

09:07I hate it when people do that.

09:09Oh, not the multi-storey, Rachel.

09:11There's no time.

09:12Yes, it will work out quicker.

09:14Let's go.

09:15Let's go.

09:16Ah.

09:17Ah.

09:18You'll have to get out, Mum.

09:19OK.

09:20Has anyone got a pen?

09:21Oh, yes, something?

09:22I have.

09:23Oh, great, Sue.

09:24Come on, come on.

09:25Go, go, go.

09:26Just get out of the car.

09:27No, no.

09:28I don't need to.

09:29It won't work, Mum.

09:30Ah.

09:31Gah!

09:32Oh, well done, Mum.

09:33OK, quickly, quickly, quickly, please, Rach.

09:36There you go.

09:37How are you going to get the ticket?

09:39OK, I'll just get out of the car.

09:41Right.

09:42Oh!

09:43Ah.

09:44You all right?

09:45Got it.

09:46Let's go.

09:47Oh.

09:48Just hold it in, Paul.

09:51Yes.

09:52Thank you, Mum.

09:53Great advice.

09:54Are you all right, Rachael?

09:55No.

09:56I think I must have twisted my knee when reaching for the ticket.

09:58Ow.

09:59Oh, gosh.

10:00Sorry.

10:01Hello.

10:02Hi.

10:03Hi.

10:04Hi.

10:05Hi.

10:06Can we have some Imodium?

10:07Please.

10:08And a knee support, please, as quickly as possible.

10:10Is that for the same problem?

10:11No.

10:12We have some Imodium for him, and I need a knee support.

10:14I've been over-squatting recently, but, well, we both have.

10:17Chill out!

10:18Er, we don't sell knee supports?

10:20Oh, well, any kind of...

10:21Well, strapping, something to make it less comfortable.

10:24Please.

10:25Where are your toilets?

10:27Oh, no, toilets are stuff only.

10:29Well, this is an emergency.

10:31Yeah, sorry.

10:32Oh, sorry, as in, you'd rather me evacuate my bowels in your chemist.

10:36No, don't do that.

10:37No, don't do that.

10:38No.

10:39Do you sell adult nappies?

10:40No, Mum!

10:41No?

10:42No!

10:43No!

10:44We're not going to do that.

10:45I don't want to.

10:46Ignore her.

10:47That's a pub across the road.

10:48Oh, no, I hate going to a pub toilet when I'm not a patron.

10:52Come on, just hold it in.

10:54I want these ones, Mum.

10:55Right.

10:56Oh, God.

10:57Sorry.

10:58Wow!

10:59Thank you!

11:00She can stay like that for hours.

11:01Really?

11:02Easy.

11:03I could sleep like this.

11:04Amy, could you turn it down up there, please?

11:07Sometimes I think Katie's left the flat.

11:09She's just squatting me on the sofa.

11:10Oh, my God.

11:11That has happened, yeah.

11:12Sorry, our daughter's just rehearsing upstairs.

11:14And that's good for you, is it?

11:15Well, let me put it this way, Rachel.

11:17Yeah?

11:18This is great.

11:19How old do you think I am?

11:20Ooh.

11:21Go on.

11:2236, be honest.

11:2434.

11:25Come off it.

11:26Last year, I got ID'd at the cinema going to see Godzilla vs Kong 2.

11:30Really?

11:31That's a 12, isn't it?

11:32Exactly.

11:33Someone thought you were 11.

11:34Or under.

11:35The other day I went to get a train ticket and the guy in the booth goes...

11:38Oh, I love this one.

11:39Go on.

11:40Why aren't you using your young person's rail card?

11:42And I was like...

11:43Yeah.

11:44Because I'm 40!

11:45I'm 40.

11:46I'm 40.

11:47I know, it's mad, isn't it?

11:48Yeah.

11:49Yeah.

11:50Wow, what's this?

11:51Look at this.

11:52This is a doggy piddle.

11:53Yeah.

11:54You do this every single day for 20 minutes, you'll live past 100.

11:59OK, wow.

12:00It's quite hard to prove that.

12:01Drop a squat for me, Rachel.

12:03Oh, my gosh.

12:04Yeah.

12:05What, right now?

12:06Well, yeah, if I'm going to take you on, I need to see what I'm dealing with.

12:08OK.

12:09Go on, Rach!

12:10Breathe.

12:11Yeah, no problem.

12:12Yeah, all right.

12:13Oh, no!

12:14Oh, my God!

12:15What was that?

12:16Was that me?

12:17That was awful!

12:18Sorry, yeah, I do click, don't I?

12:19She clicks.

12:20She does click.

12:21She needs a bar.

12:22Bit stiff, bit stiff, bit old.

12:23Oh, no, that's OK.

12:24That's all right.

12:25That's OK.

12:26That's OK.

12:28Just engage your core for me.

12:29My what?

12:30Your core.

12:31Engage.

12:32Am I doing it?

12:33No.

12:34No, I'm not.

12:35I wasn't.

12:36That's all right.

12:37Here's your whole example.

12:38Ooh, thanks, bub.

12:39Hey, Dean.

12:40Ooh.

12:41I think you're punching above your weight, dear.

12:43Well, we both are.

12:45Yeah, I'm not sure it works like that.

12:47So, how did you two meet?

12:50Oh.

12:51So, I was in Costa Coffee.

12:54Mm-hmm.

12:55Katie was sitting at another table.

12:56Yeah.

12:57And when she got up to leave, I noticed she'd left her phone.

13:00Right.

13:01So, you returned it to her?

13:02No, I stole it.

13:04Then, later, the phone rings, I answer it, say I found it,

13:07arranged to meet up with her, you know, collect the reward.

13:09OK.

13:10Then we got on really well.

13:11It's romantic, innit?

13:13Almost.

13:14Yeah.

13:15So, you got a reward?

13:17Well, I mean, Katie's my reward, really.

13:19But, yeah, £80.

13:21Don't tell her the part where I stole the phone.

13:23Oh, I won't, I won't.

13:24OK.

13:26Oh!

13:27We're good for getting dunked on Sunday.

13:28Er, dunked?

13:29Yeah, baptised.

13:30Father Damien's agreed to do that for us.

13:32Dunk the doughnuts!

13:33Good to Godfather!

13:34Oh, well done, Dean!

13:36Yeah!

13:37Oh, hiya, love.

13:38How's it going?

13:39Hi, Granny.

13:40Are you looking forward to your big gig?

13:42Oh, yeah.

13:43Nervous, but excited.

13:45You were terrific at the lamb and flag.

13:48Thanks, you said.

13:49A few times.

13:50Er, I actually...

13:52About that.

13:53Gee worries that, erm, you know, while we're still quite unknown,

13:58don't have many fans.

14:00Well, any fans, really.

14:01You've got me!

14:02Exactly, that's...

14:04Yeah, he's just wondering if you could maybe...

14:07And I'm sorry to ask you, but...

14:09Not come to our gigs?

14:12For a bit.

14:13Just until you can blend in more with other people.

14:16Is Gee still angry with me about killing George Harrison?

14:20Oh, no.

14:21No, it's not that.

14:22It's the...

14:23The dancing?

14:25Erm...

14:26Well, just the whole thing.

14:28The optics, you know.

14:30No.

14:32Of course.

14:33Thanks.

14:34Sorry.

14:35Who killed George Harrison, then?

14:36Er...

14:37Oh, me, maybe.

14:39Unless he started smoking before 1961.

14:42Hm.

14:43Interesting.

14:44Oh, my God!

14:45Why?

14:46You like the Beatles, do you?

14:47Well, I like Thomas the Tank Engine,

14:49and I know Ringo Starr does the voice for that, so...

14:50So, no, then.

14:51Go!

14:52Lower?

14:53Mm-hmm.

14:54Go low?

14:55Go high.

14:56I know as it goes, actually, Katie.

15:00OK.

15:01Oh.

15:03Just head straight for the toilets.

15:05It's all about confidence.

15:06I'm not confident, am I?

15:07This is why I find the modern world generally horrible.

15:10This is the George.

15:11This is where the crisping goo is happening later.

15:12Is it?

15:13Yeah.

15:14Oh, good.

15:17Oh.

15:18It's the ladies.

15:23Toilets are for customers only.

15:25I know, I know, I know, I know.

15:26So...

15:27And it doesn't matter, because I am a customer.

15:28I'm coming to the post-christening due here later, Sam.

15:31OK.

15:32So you can use the toilet later, when you are a customer.

15:34OK, well, I can just buy something now, if that's...

15:36Sure.

15:37OK, bro.

15:38Um, do you have Horlicks?

15:40Don't get a Horlicks.

15:41A pint of Guinness, please.

15:44A pint?

15:45Why are you getting a pint?

15:46You should get a half.

15:47It's too late now, Sam.

15:48I've already ordered it.

15:49Go on.

15:50And, bro, bro, can you please refill my hot bot for me,

15:55while I'm in the gents, my hot water bottle?

15:57Thank you so much.

15:58Oh, my God.

15:59Sure.

16:00And I'll have a shot of vodka.

16:01Really?

16:02Yeah.

16:03OK.

16:04Just need something to, um...

16:05I'm shitting myself a bit.

16:06Oh!

16:07Oh!

16:08I've got the Imodium in me bag.

16:09No, no, I mean, I'm nervous about the gig later.

16:12Oh, I see.

16:13And...

16:14Could I have some ice, please?

16:16Sure, like ice water, or...?

16:17Yes, but without the water.

16:19Er, my knees are very sore.

16:21Er, I've been working out, I guess, too much.

16:23Just, you know, stretch them out.

16:24Yeah, I'll just stretch them out.

16:25I'll squat.

16:26Yes.

16:27You should be careful, Mum.

16:28No, don't worry.

16:29You'll be amazing.

16:30I can't wait to see it.

16:32You, er...

16:33No, I mean, Sammy's film of it, afterwards.

16:36No, don't worry, are you?

16:38I won't be there.

16:40Where's the ice lady?

16:41No, I'm here.

16:42No, I'm here.

16:43I'm squatting.

16:44Which hasn't helped at all.

16:47Can I order some nuggets, please?

16:49Gino!

16:50Go on, Dean.

16:51Dung the hunk!

16:52Oh, well done, Dean.

16:53Thank you, Dean.

16:54Well done.

16:55Incredible.

16:56Incredible.

16:57Go on, son.

16:58Look at him go.

16:59I baptise you in the name of the Father, God, the Son,

17:01and the Holy Spirit.

17:02No idea.

17:03Oh, my God.

17:04Yay!

17:05Well done!

17:07Do you know?

17:09Well done.

17:10Please be with you, yeah.

17:11Wet tea show competition, anyone?

17:13Oh, it's lovely here, isn't it?

17:16Yeah.

17:17It's really nice, Mum.

17:19Just a shame about the sewage company.

17:21Yeah.

17:23Sarah, what do you mean?

17:25Over 4,000 hours discharging raw faeces last year, apparently.

17:31OK, Paul, you ready?

17:33Er...

17:34Yeah, sorry, Father.

17:35Where was this, Mum?

17:36Wasn't here, was it?

17:37So, this is a full immersion baptism.

17:39The best thing is to hold on to me and I'll guide you in and out of the water.

17:43Well, OK.

17:44It can mess you up, by the way, you know, the squatting.

17:47Like, stuff can suddenly, like, ping or crunch, like, in your back and your knees.

17:51So, like, if you want to get some straps or sport tape, nah.

17:54Sport tape?

17:55No, I think I'll be OK.

17:58You know, I'm naturally quite a flexible person.

18:01And Katie says my technique is excellent, so...

18:04Um...

18:05You got this, Paolo.

18:06Oh, here we go.

18:07Keep your mouth closed, Paul.

18:10I baptise you in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.

18:15Yay!

18:16OK, um...

18:17Yeah!

18:18That didn't work.

18:19Huh?

18:20Your hands, they didn't go under.

18:21Right, well, can I just pop it in now?

18:23We have to do it again.

18:24What, the whole thing?

18:25Full immersion.

18:26Some of it went up my nose.

18:27Oh, my God.

18:28I baptise you in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.

18:32Oh, hang on.

18:33Woo!

18:34Paul!

18:35Woo!

18:36You have to keep your hands down.

18:37Full immersion, Paul.

18:38Sorry.

18:39You've got to get...

18:40Full immersion.

18:41Hands in.

18:42I did.

18:43We'll have to do it again.

18:44I went under.

18:45I baptise you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

18:46Oh, God.

18:47OK.

18:48That's not going to work.

18:49Your hands, Paul.

18:50You need to keep your hands in.

18:51All right, just give us a chance, all right?

18:53I'll get there.

18:54I did make it look easy, to be fair.

18:55Let's try again.

18:56Can we tie him up?

18:58Right, off we go then.

19:00Hurry up, Paul.

19:02Yes, I know.

19:04I've just downed a pint of Guinness, Mum.

19:07OK?

19:08And Rach is still...

19:09Come on, Rach!

19:10It was you that made us stop in the first place and it was Sam who ordered food.

19:16Yeah, I can't believe you ordered nuggets, mate.

19:19What?

19:20My nuggets came quicker than your nuggets.

19:22I wish mine were nuggets.

19:24It was more like McFlurry.

19:26Oh.

19:27Are you all right, Rachael, love?

19:29No, Sue.

19:30It's my knees.

19:31They're rubbing.

19:33I just need something to sort of hold them.

19:36Oh, I know.

19:38Joe?

19:39Amy?

19:40Hmm?

19:41Come and help.

19:42That's it.

19:43Now, how's that, Rachael, love?

19:45Yeah.

19:46Pretty good, actually, mobility-wise.

19:48Not sure what it does to my outfit exactly, but...

19:51You look a bit like Robocop.

19:52Yeah.

19:53You know, it's starting, like, right now.

19:55Oh, God.

19:56Oh!

19:57Let's go.

19:58Let's go.

19:59Let's go, Joe.

20:00When's the actual water bit?

20:01Well, can you drag it out?

20:02Can you sing another hymn?

20:03No, no.

20:04Don't do that.

20:05Do not do that.

20:06Robin is suggesting that Katie and Chelsen

20:08step in as godparents.

20:09No!

20:10No way!

20:11We will be there!

20:12No way, Robin!

20:13We will be there!

20:14All right?

20:15That is a godparent promise.

20:16A god promise!

20:17Just park closer to the machine, Mum!

20:19No, I tried, Amy!

20:20I can do it!

20:21Just get out of the car, Mum!

20:22No!

20:23I can't break it!

20:26Ah!

20:27Oh!

20:28I heard that.

20:29Oh, God!

20:30Oh, Rachel!

20:31Oh, look, I've got my back!

20:32Oh, Mum!

20:33Oh, I've got my back!

20:34We're really late, by the way.

20:35Yeah!

20:36Come on, Rach!

20:37I'm not really awake!

20:38Oh!

20:39There's a toilet in here!

20:40Shhh!

20:41Oh!

20:42Ah!

20:43Hello.

20:45Everyone.

20:47Oh!

20:48Uh...

20:49Oh!

20:50Sorry.

20:51Oh.

20:52Oh.

20:53Oh.

20:54Oh.

20:55Rach.

20:56Oh.

20:57Sorry.

21:00Hi.

21:01Hi.

21:02Hiya.

21:03Oh, Bribe.

21:05Have you been shopping in TK Maxx again?

21:08TK Maxx, no.

21:09It's tape.

21:10The service started 20 minutes ago.

21:1220 minutes ago.

21:13Yeah.

21:14Well, great.

21:15I'm very ill.

21:16Hence the hotbot.

21:17Amy, can you sort us out a couple of chairs, please?

21:19Could you please, Amy?

21:20Right.

21:21Well, you shouldn't come to church if you're sick.

21:22Well, you shouldn't dunk people in fecal water.

21:24I mean, why do it in a river at all?

21:26Dad, chill.

21:27Jesus was baptised in the River Jordan.

21:28Yeah.

21:29OK.

21:30Well, I'm guessing Anglian water didn't illegally dump sewage

21:32into that beforehand.

21:34Oh!

21:35And that doesn't explain why she's wrapped in...

21:36Is that duct tape?

21:37Yeah.

21:38It's duct tape.

21:39It is.

21:40It is duct tape.

21:41That's what I said.

21:42No, it's not.

21:43I got a bit carried away.

21:45I've been doing too many squats.

21:47Not possible.

21:48It is possible, Katie.

21:49I can't bed my knees.

21:50Sit down, Mom.

21:52She looks like the tin, man.

21:53It's a robocop.

21:55Anyone silver, basically.

21:56Can I continue with the baptism now?

21:58Yeah, sorry.

21:59I've just got to nip to the loo quickly, very quickly.

22:00What?

22:01I've just downed a pint of Guinness.

22:02Legend.

22:03Nope!

22:04No time.

22:05If you can't stand by the font as a good parent,

22:07I'm afraid you'll have to sit it out.

22:09OK, fine.

22:10Forget it.

22:11Sorry, Katie.

22:12Sorry, Gelson.

22:13I'm ready.

22:14Righto.

22:15Off you go.

22:16I didn't want to do it anywhere.

22:17Oh, my God.

22:18No, it's all right.

22:19I just can't.

22:20I'll just tip you out.

22:21Your legs hold.

22:23Parents and good parents,

22:24is it your wish for Atlas Bruce to be baptised in the faith of the church,

22:27which you've all professed with you?

22:28Yes, sir.

22:29Yes, it is.

22:30Atlas Bruce.

22:31OK.

22:32I baptise you in the name of the Father, the Son and the...

22:36Whoa, Dad.

22:38Oh, no.

22:39Oh, no.

22:40What's he doing?

22:41Stop it.

22:42Stop it.

22:43What?

22:44The...

22:45Oh, Paul.

22:46That's awkward.

22:47I said we should have got you some nappies.

22:50Oh, gross.

22:51Oh, my God.

22:52What is it?

22:53Dad.

22:54What is it?

22:55Do you seriously not even know you're doing this?

22:56It's just strides, mate.

22:57Huh?

22:58Oh, my God.

22:59I'm so sorry.

23:00Oh, no.

23:01Oh.

23:02It's my hot bot.

23:03Oh.

23:04It's my hot bot.

23:05It's leaking.

23:06It's not urine.

23:07The duct tape has lost its adhesion,

23:09so it's leaking.

23:10I've not wet myself.

23:11Well, you have.

23:12No, I haven't.

23:13Not in a bad way.

23:14No, no.

23:15It's fine.

23:16I'm fine.

23:17Carry on, please.

23:18Oh, gosh, no.

23:19Hang on.

23:20That's buckled.

23:21Oh, God.

23:22You can't bend this.

23:23It's wet.

23:24It's wet.

23:25It's not urine.

23:27It's not urine.

23:28Yeah, yeah.

23:29It's not urine.

23:30It smells like urine.

23:31Oh, my God.

23:32But it's not urine.

23:33This isn't a great look at all.

23:34I'm so sorry. Carry on.

23:35I baptise you in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit.

23:39It's not urine.

23:40Got parents in there?

23:41Just cut out the chairs, because I don't want to tell you.

23:42I'm trying to.

23:43Cut out the chairs.

23:44I'm trying to.

23:45Atlas hates Dean.

23:46Can you just do this all the time?

23:47Have I say babies?

23:48Sue?

23:49Babies.

23:50Dean thought you might like to see a photo.

23:52Oh, right.

23:53Hang on.

23:54It's not a willy one, is it?

23:56Because I wouldn't like to see that.

23:58What?

23:59It's George Harrison from 1960.

24:02Smoking.

24:03Look.

24:04Oh!

24:05Oh, Gelson!

24:06Oh, thank the Lord!

24:08Are you all right?

24:09Yeah.

24:10I didn't kill George Harrison!

24:12Ha ha ha ha!

24:13Cool.

24:14Do you want any more pictures of Long Island Ice Tea?

24:17We...

24:19Oh!

24:20Actually, no, no, we can't.

24:21Sorry, everyone, just a quick announcement.

24:23Um, it is now, ladies and gentlemen, time to drain your drinks and your bladders and head over to bogeys!

24:29Bogeys!

24:30For Atlas' very first BBOTB bed for Battle of the Bands!

24:34Yay!

24:35Where our very own Amy Jessup will be performing!

24:38Yay!

24:40Oh!

24:41Oh, God.

24:42Battle of the Bands!

24:43Okay.

24:44Okay.

24:45Good luck.

24:46Go on in.

24:47Yeah.

24:48Thanks.

24:49What are you doing, ma'am?

24:50You're not coming in?

24:51Er, no, no.

24:52I'll wait out here.

24:53It's a bit loud for me.

24:55What, here?

24:56You're not going to be lonely?

24:57Oh, no, no, look.

24:59I've got me lonely planet book.

25:01Okay.

25:02All right.

25:04Go get them, Amy!

25:06What?

25:07You ready?

25:08Yeah.

25:13Pretty good, yeah?

25:14I don't like it.

25:20Give it up for, um, cold sick.

25:22Sickles!

25:23Yeah, cold sick.

25:24Decent, lads, decent!

25:26Next up we have the G-Hypothesis.

25:30Yay!

25:31Yay!

25:32Woo!

25:33Good luck.

25:34Good luck.

25:35All right.

25:36What?

25:37How come you're here?

25:38Well, I'm not dead, Sam.

25:39I'm just not going out with Amy anymore.

25:41Oh, yeah, of course.

25:42Yeah, and I put up with a lot of terrible rehearsals,

25:44so I'd like to see the end product.

25:45And, you know, I missed you guys, so.

25:48Nice.

25:49Oh, sorry.

25:50My God.

25:51I mean, look at that.

25:52I cannot believe she's still squatting.

25:55Mm.

25:56Mm.

25:57You know, if that's what it takes to stay looking young,

25:59you can shove it up your core.

26:02Yeah, look, I'm sorry if I make you feel old, Rach.

26:06Older.

26:07No.

26:08With my hot bot and my horlicks.

26:11Of course you don't.

26:12Is that horlicks?

26:13Didn't realise you were drinking horlicks.

26:14Mm.

26:15Yeah, I need it to settle my tummy.

26:16OK.

26:17Well, at least I'm not actually incontinent.

26:18Yeah.

26:19Yeah.

26:20Yet.

26:21Ha.

26:22I will be.

26:23Ha.

26:24I mean, I'm not scared of getting old.

26:27Hmm.

26:28As long as I get to do it with you.

26:30Hmm.

26:35Ah, my back.

26:36You all right?

26:37Yeah, not really.

26:38We'll have a bath.

26:39Yeah.

26:40OK, Bedford.

26:41Let me hear it.

26:43Woo!

26:44My name's Gee.

26:46This is Amy.

26:47Welcome to the Gee Hypothesis.

26:49One.

26:50Two.

26:51Three.

26:52Sorry, one sec.

26:53Um...

26:54No, it's...

26:55I just have to...

26:56Be back, be back.

26:57Whoa!

26:58She'll be right back.

26:59Sorry about this.

27:00Was she just doing a...

27:01Doing a splash or something?

27:02Where are you going?

27:03Amy?

27:04There she is!

27:05Oh, yes, please!

27:06Where have you been?

27:07Right in center.

27:08Yeah.

27:09Yeah.

27:10God's sake.

27:11Sorry, I just wanted to, um...

27:12This is my granny, everyone.

27:13Yeah!

27:14She's the coolest person I know,

27:15and she's met the Beatles, and, um...

27:16The Beatles?

27:17Promise the time.

27:18She has.

27:19Uh, yeah.

27:20I just...

27:21I really...

27:31I just...

27:32I really wanted her to be here for this, so...

27:34Amy.

27:35I love you.

27:36And you, Graham.

27:37It's Gee.

27:38It's Gee now.

27:40Oh.

27:41Hey, Maya.

27:43Thanks for coming.

27:44Aww.

27:45Aww.

27:46Oh, Maya!

27:47Oh, I didn't know you were going to be here.

27:49I was not.

27:50Alright, alright.

27:51Let's hurry up.

27:52Come on.

27:53Okay, here we go.

27:54One.

27:55Two.

27:56One.

27:57Two.

27:58Three.

27:59Four.

28:00Four.

28:01Three.

28:02Nice.

28:03Three.

28:04Three.

28:05Three.

28:06These.

28:07Four.

28:08One.

28:09Two.

28:10Two.

28:12One.

28:13Three.

28:14Four.

28:15Three.

28:16One.

28:17Two.

28:18So.

28:19Pretty.

28:21Three.

28:22Three.

28:23Three.

28:25Two.

28:26Four.

28:27Three.

28:29Machine City

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