- 2 months ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
01:02Hello.
01:04Hello.
01:06I'm, um...
01:08Ah! Yes, of course! How are you?
01:12I'm fine. How are you?
01:14Fine.
01:16We haven't slept together and you're not here to freak me out.
01:22No, no.
01:24It's just that, you know, with you being a man and everything, I thought maybe we'd had sex.
01:28I'm looking for, er...
01:30I'm supposed to be working in a bookshop.
01:32Er, Manny.
01:34Fran, um, what bookshop?
01:36The one next door.
01:37Well, Bernard's bookshop?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Bernard hired you?
01:40Yeah.
01:41Yeah, he did, yeah.
01:42That's right.
01:43That's right.
01:44You're working for Bernard.
01:45Indeed I am.
01:46What, what, wait.
01:47Bernard, Irish, smoke, drinking.
01:49Yeah.
01:50That's, er, yeah.
01:51That's brilliant.
01:52That's Bernard?
01:53That's him.
01:54Yeah, no, I thought it'd be nice, you know, bookshop, books, mellow.
01:57You know, ah, ooh, you know.
01:59Mellow.
02:00Yeah.
02:01What?
02:02What?
02:03What?
02:04What did...
02:05Don't you...
02:06Run away!
02:10Er, yeah.
02:14What?
02:27Hello?
02:28Hello?
02:29Hello?
02:39Um...
02:40Mr. Black?
02:42Oh, dear!
02:45Oh, dear!
02:48Mr. Black
03:00Am I dead?
03:11No
03:11Who are you? Have I joined a cult?
03:18No, I'm Manny. You hired me yesterday.
03:23Oh
03:23Do you remember? No
03:25How was the situation? Had I been drinking?
03:38So what do you say? Huh? What about?
03:41You know, the pay's not great, but the work is hard.
03:46Are you up for it?
03:48Come on, what did he say?
03:53I have to say, I think you're being a bit rude.
03:59Mr. Black
04:00Just a minute, just a minute, just a minute, miss.
04:03Just a minute, miss. Do you want the job or not, Manny?
04:06I'm over here.
04:07I do apologise, sir.
04:20Alrighty. What is your order?
04:21Naga.
04:22I got you cream to mouth.
04:24OK. Here it is. I like you a lot, Gerard. Samantha.
04:31Manny. Manny. That's the one. I like you a lot.
04:34Oh, thanks very much. You're not so bad yourself.
04:36Don't touch my arm.
04:38Sorry.
04:39And, erm, where have you gone?
04:42I'm here. You're looking at me.
04:43Alright, yeah.
04:44So, what do you want?
04:46Er, you mentioned something about a job.
04:48What would I have to do?
04:49What would I have to do?
04:50No, erm, something in the bookshop.
04:54But I already work in the bookshop.
04:56No.
04:57Do you have anything in an aquarium?
05:00Er, no, for me.
05:03Oh, yes, right, of course. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
05:06Yes, of course, right.
05:07You're leaving, Manny?
05:08No, er, that's the old woman.
05:11Brown and Black.
05:12Er, Manny, hi.
05:14So, what do you want?
05:17You mentioned a job.
05:19What would I have to do?
05:20No, er, for me.
05:22Oh, yes, yes, yes.
05:23Come on, I'm sorry.
05:24It's very simple.
05:25Very simple.
05:26Here we go.
05:27Do you want a job?
05:28Great.
05:29Yes.
05:30What's great?
05:31What?
05:32What?
05:33Had you been drinking?
05:35I'd say you've had a couple.
05:38Er, ten minutes.
05:39Ten minutes.
05:40Um.
05:41Wait a second.
05:42What time is it?
05:43Er.
05:44Half ten.
05:45Half ten?
05:46Half ten?
05:47Half ten?
05:48I've never been up at half ten.
05:49What happens?
05:50Um.
05:51Um.
05:52Er.
05:53Manny.
05:54Manny.
05:55Have you ever bought a book at half ten in the morning?
05:59Now you've mentioned it, actually.
06:00No.
06:01You see?
06:02That would be a world gone topsy-topsy.
06:03Yes, but if this were a bakery, this would be quite late.
06:04Watch it.
06:05Sorry.
06:06I don't want any cheek.
06:07What?
06:08I'm sorry, son.
06:09I've made some kind of mistake.
06:10You know, you obviously don't have what it takes to sell a book.
06:15People don't want them in the morning.
06:16Hello!
06:17I'd like to buy a book, please.
06:18What book?
06:19I don't want any cheek.
06:20What?
06:21I'm sorry, son.
06:22I've made some kind of mistake.
06:25You know, you obviously don't have what it takes to sell a book.
06:29People don't want them in the morning.
06:30Hello.
06:33I'd like to buy a book, please.
06:37What book?
06:38I don't really care.
06:39I'm just in a real mood to buy a book.
06:42Close, get out!
06:44Maybe I'll swing by the bakery.
06:49All right.
06:51A one-day trial.
06:51How about that?
06:53Fine.
06:53A one-day trial.
06:54Fine.
06:55One-day trial.
06:56Oh.
06:59Hello?
07:00Yeah, I'm a bit busy at the moment.
07:01Yeah.
07:02I'll call you back.
07:04Okay.
07:05What's that?
07:06Ow, ow, ow.
07:07I used to work a lot with a mobile, and it must have done something to me.
07:10Because now, just before my phone rings, I get a very sharp pain in my head.
07:16What's your number?
07:17Uh, 0802.
07:19I've got a lot of money to see what I'm going to see.
07:21I have a lot of money to see.
07:23Could you pass my phone, please?
07:30Ow.
07:30Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:33That was brilliant.
07:36Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:40Oh, actually, yeah.
07:42Ow.
07:43Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:46Hello?
07:47Hi, Manny, it's Bernie.
07:48The thing is, we don't actually allow mobile phones in the shop.
07:53Oh, right.
07:54OK, bye.
07:54OK, bye.
07:55Bye, bye.
07:59Oh, look.
08:00Rita.
08:01Ow!
08:08What's all this?
08:11The rules.
08:12For the customers.
08:13But they apply to you as well.
08:15No mobiles, no wigwams.
08:17Walkman.
08:19No snoity car.
08:23This is indecipherable.
08:25Look.
08:26It is perfectly simple.
08:29No mobiles.
08:31No Walkmans.
08:34None of that.
08:37Or any of the others.
08:40Singe, bugger, cack.
08:44Signed, Bernard L. Black.
08:46Oh, yeah?
08:47What's the L for?
08:48Lodwig, you know.
08:50Faith over.
08:51Oh, right.
08:53Why did your parents decide on, er...
08:54What?
08:57Nothing.
09:00I'm going to freshen up.
09:02I'm going to freshen up.
09:06Hello?
09:09Hello.
09:10Hello?
09:14Books, old and new.
09:15Come on, come on
09:24Who are you? What are you doing?
09:35I'm just a customer
09:36Oh yeah
09:38Lunch! Where the hell is Fran?
09:41All right, all right
09:42Come on, lunch
09:44Shall I flip the sign?
09:47Go ahead
09:47Join us, Manny
09:54Tell us all about yourself
09:57Oh, well, I was born in London
09:59Stop right there, David Copperfield
10:01If we're going back that far, we need popcorn or something
10:03Don't mind here, Manny
10:06Go ahead
10:08Well, like I say, born in London
10:09Moved around quite a bit
10:10Saw a lot of army bases
10:12Oh, your father was in the army?
10:14No, just coincidence
10:15Sorry, could we do this some other time and I'm not here
10:18Okay, fair enough
10:20You know, this could be a really lovely place
10:22It is a lovely place?
10:24Yeah, you have to wax the shelves
10:26And get rid of whatever it is that makes you stick to the floor over here
10:29You're supposed to stick to the floor over there
10:32I like it like that
10:33Stops children running around
10:34Seal the floor, stop that rising smell
10:37And you do know you've got mollusks on your pipes
10:40What of us?
10:41Well, it's just that traditionally they live in the sea
10:44Yeah
10:45Put in a few more standard lamps
10:47Why didn't you just say you were gay?
10:50What?
10:51But I'm not
10:52But you're interested in lamps
10:54Yeah, but I'm interested in women
10:58And lamps
10:59I thought you were actually
11:01Gay, I mean
11:03So did I for a bit
11:04Then I found out about the prohibitive standards of hygiene
11:09And all that dancing
11:10Oh, um
11:14Just look at this bastard
11:17That's right
11:19That's right, we're having lunch
11:21Come on in
11:21Look at him, look
11:22What do they want from me?
11:24Why can't they just leave me alone?
11:26I mean, what do they want from me?
11:28Well, they want to buy books
11:29Yeah, but why me?
11:31Why do they come to me?
11:33Because you sell books
11:34Yeah, I know, but
11:35Jesus
11:35What?
11:40I'd like to buy a book
11:41Here's one
11:43No, I was
11:45This one's very, very good
11:47Oh, well, is it?
11:49Yes
11:49You'll laugh, you'll cry
11:50It'll change your life
11:51$5.99
11:53All right, okay
11:54Oh, my change?
11:57Can you come back later?
11:58Well, no, I'm not coming back this way
11:59Where do you live?
12:0117 Galaxi Gardens
12:03Okay
12:03Now go there
12:04And await my instructions
12:06Where's he gone?
12:13Oh, I thought he might like to have a look at your spare room
12:15Why?
12:18Oh, you know, if you want him living with you all the time
12:21Are you insane?
12:25Well, he's great, Bernard
12:27What's wrong with him?
12:29His trouble is what he is
12:30He's
12:31I can smell it a mile off
12:33He's got all sorts of fancy notions
12:36And he
12:37Do you know what I saw earlier
12:38When you weren't here
12:39And you couldn't have seen it?
12:40He was
12:40He was sucking his trousers
12:42And laughing
12:43That's a lie, isn't it?
12:45No
12:45Absolutely
12:46No, don't
12:47I made it up
12:48Come on, Bernard
12:50You'd be crazy to let him go
12:51You need someone normal around here
12:54Normal?
12:54He's normal, is he?
12:55What am I then?
12:57Well, you're a freak, Bernard
12:58You know that
12:58Yes, I know
13:01But I have rights
13:03This is what you've needed for the past five years
13:07I'd better get back to the shop
13:08Bye, Manny
13:11You there
13:20Lord of the Rings
13:23Let's talk about how this whole
13:24One-day trial thing is going anyway
13:27Okay
13:28At the moment you're fired
13:29Oh
13:31So it's not going that well?
13:34No
13:34What's that?
13:37That's a bottle of wine
13:39To celebrate if the first day went well
13:41Welcome back on board
13:42These are your accounts?
13:50Yeah
13:50There's a gap here and there
13:57Yeah
13:57There's a gap where there should be accounts
14:00Mr. Gov, I can see the big account-free gap
14:04Between page one and page 210
14:06Oh, well
14:08Accounts, who cares?
14:12Well, there's a thing here
14:29Uh, takings, 370 pounds
14:31That's good
14:32Yeah, but your outgoings were over 1,200 pounds
14:36Well, whores will have their trinkets
14:38I can't take care of every little thing around here
14:43You know, it's mayhem
14:44So, uh, you and Fran?
14:59Yeah
15:00You ever, uh, you ever, uh, you know
15:12What?
15:13What?
15:14You know
15:15What?
15:16No, what?
15:17What?
15:18Have you, you know
15:19Have you?
15:20What?
15:21Together, you know
15:22Have you ever
15:23What?
15:24You know
15:25You don't beat around the bush, do you?
15:28Well
15:29Yes
15:30I think so
15:32Hmm?
15:33I'm not sure
15:34What happened?
15:35Well
15:36A few new years ago
15:38I woke up
15:40Yeah
15:41And I was there
15:42Right
15:43And so was she
15:44Hmm
15:45And so were our friends
15:47The genitals
15:48All six of us were there
15:50See
15:51What?
15:52Oh, yeah
15:53And, and none of you can remember what happened?
15:56No, no, no
15:57Well, I did for a while
15:58I think so
15:59Then she made me block it out
16:00That's it
16:01She remembers
16:02And I'm not allowed
16:05Ah, Christ, customers
16:06Why didn't you lock the door?
16:08Look, we can make some money
16:09But they're students
16:11Yeah, but the students read books
16:13That's what they pretend to, anyway
16:14These are students
16:15I don't know
16:16It sounds dangerous
16:17I don't like it
16:18Well, look
16:19Give it a chance, right
16:20And remember, this was my idea
16:21Okay, right
16:22Right
16:26Hi
16:27Yeah
16:28No, I'm in a bookshop
16:29No, no
16:30Bookshop
16:31No, no
16:32Bookshop
16:33Bookshop
16:38These things
16:39Are really well made
16:41Now
16:42Now
16:43Now
16:44Now
16:45Now
16:46Oh, that felt really, really good
16:53I'm surprised we've solved anything after that
16:56Yeah, well
16:57What about you?
16:58Following them round?
16:59People want to be left alone in a bookshop
17:00You don't think I can do this job, do you?
17:02No, I don't
17:03No, I don't
17:04All right
17:05I'll bet you I can recommend and sell a book to this bloke, yeah
17:10Tanner
17:11You're on
17:20Hello
17:21Will you leave me alone?
17:23I'm sick and tired of being hounded by salesmen in shops
17:26I'm browsing, all right
17:28Browsing
17:29At the end of it, I might buy something
17:31I might not
17:32But you will not influence me one iota
17:35Not one jot
17:36Now I've finished with you
17:38In this video
17:39You may go
17:53First to three
17:56I'm going out
17:57I have to take some clothes to Oxfam
17:59Okay
18:05I usually lock up
18:07Ah, well
18:08Now I'm here
18:09It's different
18:10Yes, it's different
18:17Wait, wait
18:18What?
18:19What?
18:20Why are you locking the door?
18:21I usually lock the door
18:22Yes, but now I'm here
18:23It's different, isn't it?
18:24Yes, it's different
18:25I've never locked anybody in before
18:27No
18:28I can mine the shop for you
18:29While you're out
18:31Oh
18:32Oh
18:33Okay
18:37Psst
18:38Is he gone?
18:39Er, yeah
18:40He's gone, everyone!
18:41Hooray!
18:42Hooray!
18:43Hooray!
18:44Hooray!
18:45Hooray!
18:46Hooray!
18:47Hooray!
18:48Hooray!
18:49Hooray!
18:50Hooray!
18:51Hooray!
18:52Hooray!
18:53Hooray!
18:54Hooray!
18:55Hooray!
18:56Hooray!
18:57Hooray!
18:58Hooray!
18:59Hooray!
19:00Hooray!
19:01Hooray!
19:02Hooray!
19:03Hooray!
19:04Hooray!
19:05Hooray!
19:06Hooray!
19:07Hooray!
19:08Hooray!
19:09Hooray!
19:10Hooray!
19:11Hooray!
19:12Hooray!
19:13Hooray!
19:14where's all the books what where's all the books oh these have been sold oh jesus
19:27do you know what that means it means i have to go and ring the ordering place
19:33and you have no idea how incredibly boring and complicated that is
19:44hello is this the place where you order books from for when you want to sell them from your bookshop
19:50i don't know i don't know no i can you just send me some books oh god
19:58hello yeah hi who am i speaking to katie hi yeah uh can i get the full austin uh complete trollop
20:08uh not you uh penguin editions the new editions yep um oh tolstoy okay fling a few in all right
20:17okay then yeah yeah okay fine see ya bye
20:21manny uh i think it's about time you and i had a little chat about this whole one day trial thing
20:32and uh how we think it went all right well i think it went very well you sold a lot of books
20:38yeah you got on very well with customers thank you i'm gonna have to let you go
20:44what but but i sold a lot of books i got on well with all the customers
20:49it's not that kind of operation
20:51oh fran uh just wanted to say that you know i really enjoyed our little chat today
21:03well actually fran the thing is that i just popped in to say goodbye
21:06goodbye what are you talking about
21:09what did i do
21:14what did i do did you tell manny he was fired
21:19you nearly hurt me in the shoulder there did you yeah a bit
21:26manny can you come inside
21:46do you want to work in the bookshop
21:58you know what
22:05there
22:09he likes you
22:10oh what
22:17oh
22:19oh
22:21oh
22:23oh
22:25oh
22:27oh
22:29oh
22:31oh
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22:48oh
22:50oh
22:52oh
22:54oh
22:56oh
22:58oh
23:13oh
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Recommended
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