00:00Gordon, send us into outer space
00:13Cause there ain't nobody like you in the Melmation race
00:16Teach us, send us, Gordon, make us twitch
00:19You're the only one that can scratch our itch
00:22So Gordon, Gordon, put us in stitches
00:26There ain't no one like you in this place
00:29Malmik is nuts, but worse than that
00:32Malmik is really no place
00:35So Gordon, you got an angle on things
00:39You're the only one here who sings and swings
00:42Gordon, send us into outer space
00:45Cause there ain't nobody like you in the Melmation race
00:49Teach us, send us, Gordon, make us twitch
00:52You're the only one that can scratch our itch
00:55The Lord, Lord, put us in stitches
00:59There ain't no one like you in this place
01:02Hey Gordon, come on, baby, let's dance
01:07No more tabby paw pie for me before bedtime
01:13Not to mention Sergeant Staff
01:18That unreasonable, adulpated
01:21How do you spell imbecile?
01:24Ah, never mind
01:25I'll use nitwit
01:26Hi, it's me, Alf
01:31Can you believe it?
01:33I'm writing a book
01:34Don't worry, Lucky
01:36It's not a recipe book
01:38It's all about my life on Malmik
01:42That's the planet I lived on before it went bluey
01:46Yeah, Malmik Memories by Gordon Shumway
01:50That was my name before it was Alf
01:53Gordon Shumway
01:54Hey, that's what my parents named me
01:57Anyway, I've just finished chapter one
02:00The Phantom Pilot
02:02It all happened my first year in the orbit guard
02:05I was a young cadet
02:07Only 192 years old
02:10Avery
02:27Yo
02:27ASCAP
02:28Yo
02:29Rindo
02:30Yo
02:31Romo
02:31Yo
02:32Where's Gordon?
02:35He's gonna be late
02:37And the Sergeant will get mad
02:38And...
02:38Hey, Rico
02:39Don't get your fur in a knot
02:41Gordon will make it
02:42He always does
02:44Gordon!
02:47Gordon Shumway!
02:54Huh?
02:55Oh, Gordon
02:57You're going to be late
02:58Hey, Mom
03:00Relax
03:00I've still got
03:02Five whole minutes
03:03Yo
03:04Karp!
03:05Yo
03:06Cack and Dipper
03:07Yo
03:08Killjoy!
03:10Yo
03:10I hope Gordon gets here soon
03:13Kismet
03:15Yo
03:16Thanks a heap
03:34Gordon?
03:36Aren't you forgetting something?
03:39Right
03:40Gordon
03:43I meant a goodbye kiss
03:46No problem
03:47Yuck
03:51Don't kiss me
03:52Deal
03:53I wouldn't forget you, Augie
03:58Cute
04:01Son
04:04Dad
04:05Did you get the brakes fixed
04:06On your hover car?
04:08Ha ha
04:08No problem
04:10No problem
04:11Brakes?
04:13Uh, not yet
04:14I'll hover carefully
04:15Don't forget to pick up the laundry
04:18Nidley
04:20Yo
04:21Midley
04:22Yo
04:23Nidley
04:24Yo
04:25Nut
04:26Yo
04:27Tuesday driver
04:37Tuesday driver
04:37Make a note, Shumway
04:48Fix the brakes
04:49Jambler
05:03Yo
05:03Shimmelfinnig
05:05Yo
05:06Sh-Sh-Sh-Shumway's next
05:09Shumway
05:16Yo
05:20You worry too much
05:22Morning, Rhonda
05:24I thought these might look nice in your hair
05:26Oh, that's sweet of you, Gordon
05:29Shumway
05:30Lighten up, Sarge
05:32I'm flirting
05:33You're flirting with death
05:36Look what you did to my building
05:38Look what your building did to my car
05:40Arbor guards
05:48Colonel Catfail is here
05:53Sergeant Staff
05:54This is no way to take care of your headquarters
05:58And your uniform's a mess
06:00What kind of example are you setting for the cadets?
06:04A poor one, sir
06:06Shumway
06:07Clean this place up
06:09Uh, is that an order or a request, sir?
06:14I guess it's an order
06:15Now
06:17What can we do for you?
06:19Colonel Catfail
06:20I need a volunteer
06:22Shumway
06:23Front and center
06:24Yes, sir
06:25Now
06:25Very good
06:26I admire the guardsman who volunteers first
06:29And ask questions later
06:31Thank you, sir
06:32Incidentally, I do have a question
06:34Shoot
06:35What did I volunteer for?
06:38A highly dangerous mission that could well cost you your life
06:41I'll have to pass, sir
06:44All the men in my family bruise easily
06:46Too late, Shumway
06:50A sergeant staff will supervise your training
06:53Looking forward to it
06:57The rigors of flying in bad weather can be rough
07:11On both the plane and the pilot
07:13On both the plane and the pilot
07:13Every pilot must be able to withstand the pressures of high altitude
07:29On both the plane and the pilot must be able to withstand the pressure of high altitude
07:30No problem
07:44Huh?
07:46Ciao time
07:54Today's special
07:56Feline minion
07:58Huh?
08:02Rhonda
08:04Hi, Gordon
08:11What's up?
08:13Nothing
08:13Just sitting in the cockpit
08:16Stay away from pilot training
08:18Trust me
08:19Why?
08:20There's nothing greater than being a cadet pilot
08:23My father was one
08:24And someday
08:25I'd like to be one, too
08:26Well, in that case
08:28I'll give you a few tips
08:30How do you turn this thing on?
08:32How do you turn this thing on?
09:01Okay, you got that?
09:05Yes.
09:07I'm also good at nose wrestling.
09:11Perhaps another time.
09:31Triple alert. Invasion force headed toward Melmac.
09:35This is not a test. This is not even a pop quiz. This is real.
09:42Men, it appears that the evil Larson Petty has hatched yet another diabolical scheme to take over the planet.
09:51His squadron is over the dire straits and headed for Melmac.
09:57We must head them off. Good luck, men.
10:01Yeah!
10:09Rhonda.
10:16Hi, Gordon.
10:17I was born to fly, don't you think?
10:21Are you going off with Colonel Cantvale?
10:24Well, maybe if one of the pilots has a dentist appointment or something.
10:28Uh-huh.
10:30But if I'm called, I'll be ready.
10:33Ah, there you are, Flugeson.
10:35Ah, we're ready for takeoff.
10:37I'm not...
10:38I'm not...
10:42I'm not Flugeson!
10:43Flugeson!
10:44Flugeson, I need the location of Mars and Petty's jets.
10:58Oh, give me a radar report.
10:59Uh, radar. Radar.
11:00Radar.
11:01Uh, let's see. Short wave. Long wave. New wave.
11:04Then, then, you take the liver.
11:05New from Melmo, the Cat-O-Matic.
11:07Gordon, you didn't pick up the laundry.
11:08Ah!
11:09Ah!
11:10Ah!
11:11Ah!
11:12Ah!
11:13Ah!
11:14Ah!
11:15Ah!
11:16Ah!
11:17Ah!
11:18Ah!
11:19Ah!
11:20Ah!
11:21Ah!
11:22Ah!
11:23Ah!
11:24Ah!
11:25Ah!
11:26Ah!
11:27Ah!
11:28Ah!
11:29Ah!
11:30Ah!
11:31Ah!
11:32Ah!
11:33Ah!
11:34Ah!
11:35Ah!
11:36Ah!
11:37Ah!
11:38Ah!
11:39Ah!
11:40Ah!
11:41Ah!
11:42Ah!
11:43Ah!
11:44Ah!
11:45Ah!
11:46Ah!
11:47Ah!
11:48Ah!
11:49Ah!
11:50Ah!
11:51Ah!
11:52Ah!
11:53Ah!
11:54Bob the Great and insult the colonel's mother but she was asking for it turn off
12:01the smoke screens
12:11oh it's colonel can't fail evasive maneuver
12:17ah we got him on the run fluky old boy I wish you'd stop calling me that
12:30Lucason enemy jet heading for us at three o'clock let's see it's 2 30 now that gives us half an hour
12:47prepare to fire
12:50fire
13:12that was one of ours whoops
13:17whoever's in that gunnery cockpit is going to be draining swamps the rest of his life
13:24the colonel's in trouble
13:26excuse me sir I've got to go comb my neck
13:32we're in position fluky blast them
13:35there's got to be an easier way to make a living
13:48oops
13:52now for my secret weapon
14:02that's you?
14:03Henrietta
14:04no
14:05some of me
14:06now
14:07can't fly I've got you where I want you
14:18dear mom
14:20please say goodbye to everyone
14:22and tell Curtis you can have my cats of all nations poster
14:24a P.S. I won't be able to pick up the laundry
14:31hold that thought
14:32throw her in reverse
14:33but we don't have reverse sir
14:34budgetary cutback
14:38uh... let me guess now
14:39Stanislav
14:40hey
14:41who was that random pilot?
14:42who was that random pilot?
14:43who was that random pilot?
14:45who was that random pilot?
14:48who was that phantom pilot?
15:02who was that phantom pilot?
15:06that phantom pilot is under arrest
15:10for flying an orbit craft without permission
15:14What an invasion.
15:29An invasion?
15:30Isn't that dangerous, Gordon?
15:32Nah.
15:33No biggie.
15:34Have you heard about this phantom pilot?
15:37Are you kidding?
15:38We're like this.
15:40You know the phantom pilot?
15:42Well, I don't know or know her, but she did wink at me.
15:48We interrupt our regular boring program with some really hot news.
15:53Melmac is being invaded for the second time in one day.
15:57And now for an eyewitness report, we take you to the Orbit Guard Headquarters.
16:03Where Colonel Cantvale's entire air fleet is stuck in this gooey stuff.
16:09Yuck.
16:10It's all part of a diabolical plot hatched by that infamous bad guy, Larson Petty.
16:18Now, back to our regular boring...
16:21Well, I gotta go risk my life.
16:29See ya.
16:30Don't forget to pick up the laundry.
16:32What is it with you and laundry?
16:42Well, this is just great.
16:44Who's gonna save Melmac now?
16:46Yeah, that's a good question.
16:48A phantom pilot!
16:55Quick!
16:55We've got to save Melmac!
16:58If any of you wants to be my co-pilot, knowing that you may never come back, take one step forward.
17:07Good enough!
17:08I wonder if I get overtime for this.
17:10Good enough!
17:25And now to wreak my revenge on Melmac.
17:43Dump the garbage bags!
17:46Double fly!
17:55I kept doing that.
18:05You should be ashamed of yourself.
18:10It's the Phantom Pilots!
18:16Get ready to attack.
18:18Attack?
18:20Disengage retro plugs.
18:22Have we exhausted all diplomatic channels?
18:24Gordon?
18:27Is that the red button or the blue?
18:36Apparently it was the red button.
18:38Now who's gonna say all those heroic lines?
18:41Who's gonna save my neck?
18:44Me!
18:50Uh-oh.
18:51Here come the bad guys.
18:55I guess it's time for one of those heroic lines.
19:01Go away!
19:03Must be my delivery.
19:04Hey, lighten up!
19:05You could hurt someone!
19:06Don't panic, Shumway.
19:11Radio for help.
19:12Gordon?
19:13Is that you up there?
19:14Yes, Mom.
19:18Be brave.
19:19And remember, pick up the laundry.
19:20But, Mom, I'm fighting a war.
19:21Couldn't I do it later?
19:25There might not be a later.
19:26Oof!
19:27Gotta go, Mom.
19:28I've gotta try another frequency.
19:29So, dunk, dunk, dunk, dunk.
19:30You could hurt someone!
19:32Don't panic, Shumway.
19:33Radio for help.
19:36Gordon, is that you up there?
19:39Yes, Mom.
19:40Be brave.
19:42And remember, pick up the laundry.
19:45But, Mom, I'm fighting a war.
19:46Couldn't I do it later?
19:48There might not be a later.
19:53Gotta go, Mom.
19:54I've got to try another frequency.
19:56So, dunk, dunk, dunk at Donnie's Dunkoria.
20:00Show Little Spock and Dunk-a-Donatea.
20:03Dunnie's Dunkoria.
20:05That's the ticket?
20:16Two, one, go!
20:20Patty!
20:26Uh-oh.
20:30Slam Dunk!
20:31Two points.
20:33What, Hatcher?
20:35For single-handedly saving Melmac from the clutches of Larson Petty, I present to you, Private Shumway, the Melmac Medal of Merit.
20:43The Melmac Medal of Merit.
20:58Ouch!
21:00Congratulations, Gordon.
21:02Thanks.
21:03But half this medal belongs to the Phantom Pilot.
21:07I wonder who she is.
21:09I'll give you a hint.
21:15There's something wrong with your eye?
21:17Never mind.
21:19Why don't we go somewhere for a cat fudge sundae?
21:23Gee, I'd love to.
21:25Right after I pick up the laundry.
21:27Uh-oh.
21:28Knitwit.
21:29Knitwit.
21:30Knitwit.
21:31Eh.
21:32Maybe Imbecile would be better.
21:34Huh?
21:35Oh, it's you again.
21:36I'm just working on the next chapter.
21:38It's a classic.
21:40Tune in next time, and you'll see why.
21:42Excuse me.
21:44Dinner is calling.
21:45Ciao.
21:46Excuse me.
21:47Dinner is calling.
21:48Ciao.
21:49Excuse me.
21:50Dinner is calling.
21:51Ciao.
21:52Gordon's sending us into our state.
21:57Cause there ain't no fight I might do.
22:02In the Melmation race.
22:06Teach us, Gordon.
22:08In the Melmation race.
22:11Teach us, Gordon.
22:14Kill us, Gordon.
22:18Ah!
22:19I kill me!
22:20Ah!
22:21I kill me!
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