- 2 days ago
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00:00Nice to see you. Thank you. Thanks for having me.
00:02Isn't it something like listening to the stories about the buses going around the country
00:06day in, day out, making their way around with passengers who are on different stages of their
00:12experience of the cancer world and this is something that your mum would have experienced?
00:17Yeah, definitely. My mum, my mum actually, see there was, for us it was kind of,
00:22we were lucky in a way because there were seven of us in the family, seven kids.
00:26So we were always able to share around the lifts and stuff like that and go to different treatments for mum and dad.
00:32But my mum liked getting on the bus. She goes, no, no, I'm going to get the bus today. I want to get the bus.
00:36Yeah. And she used to get her to go over for treatment and there'd be three or four other people on it
00:40and she'd meet the same people and they'd be picking them up on the way.
00:44And she would have been a very morale person. She'd be getting on, come on now, we'd be grand now.
00:50We'd get through this now, Tommy, and you'd be your next treatment and then you're through it.
00:55She used to be really, she was getting on, right, here we go, we're on the bus.
00:59She was the, yeah, like the captain of the bus or whatever.
01:02But it was important to her because she said, you know, if we don't get on the bus, the bus is going to stop.
01:07And if the bus stops, then what about people that don't have lifts?
01:10Yeah. You know, what about people that can't, don't have three sons or four, you know, like it's, it's.
01:15What a great attitude. Yeah, she was amazing. She was, she was just, she was very positive.
01:20She was very determined to, she was very determined to fight it. Do you know what I mean?
01:26She was very, she was a very strong person, Ryan. She was like, she was like just a pillar.
01:33Yeah. The pillar of our family. You know, she really was.
01:37And it showed when she was fighting it for obviously four years.
01:41What did she die of, Shane? Lung cancer.
01:43You know, your story, you know, my condolences to you because it.
01:48Thanks. I didn't realise how close it was for your parents that they passed away.
01:52I mean, was it, was it nine? It was, yeah, just over nine months.
01:56My mum, my mum died in December, um, 2019, just before the pandemic hit.
02:02And my dad then died October. So yeah, just nine and a half months apart.
02:07How did your father die? Do you mind?
02:08My dad had pancreatic cancer and it was kind of, it was so surreal at the time because my mum was sick.
02:16And you know, you, you kind of wait your whole life wondering, you know, when's my parents going to get sick?
02:21Or what's going to happen to my parents? You know, and they're always, you think they're superheroes, you know?
02:25And my mum and dad got to live a very long life, a very long and a happy life.
02:29Um, but then when my mum got sick, it was a bit of a, oh my God. Okay.
02:33This is, this is, this is, this is, this is serious now. This is the start of it.
02:37Um, but a few years after she was sick and she had done her treatments and she was doing really well.
02:43Um, you know, one of the first things she did actually, she had one of her lungs removed, um, which was a very,
02:49that was a very scary time, um, for us as a family and just not understanding it.
02:55But my mum, my mum used to say, ah, the Pope only had one lung. Pope John Paul had one lung.
03:00So if he can have one lung, I can have one lung. Some woman.
03:03Some woman. But that's, that's what she was like. That's the attitude.
03:05Like honestly, after the operation, she came home and she had to recover a little bit.
03:08But like a month or six weeks after she was out walking her German Shepherd up the road like going,
03:12I'm not going to be, you know, I'm, I'm fine. I'll be grand on one lung.
03:16She had enough energy that one lung was enough.
03:19Um, for her, honestly. Yeah, no.
03:22People that know her will totally understand what I'm saying.
03:24I bet your impression of your mother is uncanny. Oh, like, well, yeah, maybe. Um, but my, yeah.
03:32So a few years later, um, and it was lovely because my mum and dad got to see the Westlife reunion,
03:38which is very important to me. Um, and got to be at, uh, Crowe Park, the final concerts.
03:44Correct. They were there together. Um, and it was my 40th birthday.
03:48So it was a really, it was a really special moment.
03:50Probably the most special moment in my life for my parents to be there to see that.
03:54Um, knowing that my mum was sick, you know, um, and she was, she was quite ill at the time.
03:59And, uh, she, you know, she put on her nice outfit and come up the road.
04:02I'm grand. I'm grand. But I knew from talking to my brothers and sisters,
04:05that she was, she was quite ill at the time. And coming up to that concert,
04:08I was away touring obviously for a couple of months. So I hadn't seen her at all in like six weeks.
04:11Um, but then three or four days after that, uh, we found out my dad had pancreatic cancer.
04:18Yeah.
04:19Just like that. And it was like, so when you hear that too, with your dad, you think, you know,
04:25or you hear about pancreatic cancer, you worry even more because you hear about the stories of, you know,
04:30Steve jobs and all these people that died in four weeks or three weeks. And it's a very difficult,
04:36it can be a very quick cancer. So I, that hit me like a steam train.
04:40It was like, honestly, it was because myself and my dad were, you know, myself and my dad were very close.
04:47You know, we were really, really close.
04:49What does that mean? I mean, he was just, I could talk to him about anything.
04:54Really?
04:55I would talk to him about the first person that would call after the Late Late Show would be my dad on the way home.
04:59Get away.
05:00That was class, sir. Jeez, you look great. Not sure about that jacket on marker.
05:04You know, I would say something funny. He totally like, you know, he totally, jeez, that was a great song or whatever.
05:09But we were just, honestly, he was like, he was like my best friend. You know, I could talk to him about anything.
05:15We have, when I think of my dad, I have so many great memories of him growing up.
05:20But as I got older, we got very close and he was just, he was just an amazing man.
05:27There's a radio centre across the way. And when my father died, I remember on a Friday, I'd be walking over to TV.
05:34And I'd pick my phone out of my pocket and I'd say, how was the week?
05:38And we'd shoot the breeze. We did it for years.
05:40Yeah.
05:41And then he died. And the phone stays in the pocket. It changes everything.
05:47Because you think you have certainty all your life. Yeah. Gone.
05:51And you've nobody to, you don't have that person to call anymore.
05:54And that's what I even notice now. I go to call him.
05:59Still?
06:00Regularly. I go to text him. I go, I must tell dad that.
06:03You know, because my mum would always be slagging as well, going, what are you plotting and planning now?
06:07You're always chatting and planning, you know. And we'd be just talking about something in the future.
06:11Or I'd say, dad, we're doing this gig in Dubai or we're doing this thing in Singapore.
06:16He'd be like, oh my God, that's class. Or whatever. And he'd be, he'd be just excited about the whole thing.
06:21And we were, yeah, we were, we were like friends as well as, you know, father and son.
06:26And what I, what I gather from your family's situation is that your, your mother and father was a good love story.
06:33Like it wasn't...
06:34Oh my God. Honestly, Ryan, it was...
06:36Textbook.
06:37Textbook stuff. Like 55 years they were together.
06:40Wow.
06:41And my mum and dad were, I never heard them argue once in my whole life.
06:45You're joking.
06:46Never argued once.
06:47And they're Irish.
06:48And yeah.
06:49Um, but my dad, my dad adored my mother. Absolutely adored the ground she walked on.
06:54And it was funny, like if, if we were, when we were younger, you know, if one of us came home late or one of us did something wrong.
07:01Mm.
07:02Dad would never really give out to us, but he'd say, don't do that to your mother. Don't upset your mother like that.
07:07And it was like, he's bringing the, he's bringing the, the mam card out now here.
07:11That's the big card.
07:12That means you're in trouble.
07:13Yeah.
07:14Don't do that again.
07:15And it was, it was more, it was, it was just, I don't know, it was, it was all about her.
07:20Yeah. So when your, your mother died, um, I can't imagine then how, how that affected your father then.
07:26That must have been.
07:27It was, yeah, it was horrendous. It was, um, yeah, it was, it was really bad.
07:31It was a really difficult time. Um, obviously for any family losing their mother to cancer, it's a very, very sad time.
07:37But my dad was particularly, um, he was heartbroken by it, you know, he was really, he just missed her so much.
07:44Like he had pictures of her. He asked her to put pictures of her up on the bed and around the place.
07:49It was like pictures of her everywhere. And the dog, German Shepherd, uh, King, his other love.
07:55So it sounds.
07:56Honestly, he loved that dog.
07:58Yeah. Um, but, um, even there was one time, even he was, he was lying in the bed, you know, at the end, near the end.
08:05And, um, uh, there was a picture of her on the wall. He had an old picture of her from when they first met.
08:10Okay.
08:11And he was, look at that, look at her there, look at the glass, you know, he'd be saying to you, you know, and, uh, it would be like a laugh of the way.
08:17But the sun used to come in one of the windows and shine off it in the morning.
08:21So he couldn't see her, you know, so he asked, I think it was Rowan.
08:24I think it was my sister's husband to put a little nail in behind it just to tilt the picture out.
08:29So the sun couldn't hit it whatever way it was, you know, the sun couldn't hit it.
08:33So you could still see it.
08:34Yeah. It was, um, uh, there was just, you know, there were a proper love story.
08:39Yeah.
08:40This has been a tough year.
08:41Yeah, it's been a very difficult year.
08:43Listen, the last year has been horrendous for, for everybody, obviously.
08:46Um, it's been the worst year and probably humanity, you know, um, with COVID obviously.
08:52But it's, uh, yeah, to lose both your parents any year, Ryan is, it'd be horrendous, you know, but it's, uh, yeah, it's been difficult for her.
09:00But, you know, I have three brothers and three sisters and, you know, we're very much very close and we're very much in contact, probably more now than we've ever been, which is lovely.
09:08Um, and we kind of keep ourselves, we keep ourselves kind of going.
09:13Good.
09:14You know, which is, which is nice to have.
09:15You also had that very peculiar experience of having a full pre-COVID Irish funeral.
09:23Oh yeah.
09:24With all the sandwiches and all the people and all the handshakes, right?
09:27Versus the eerie, peculiar COVID funeral.
09:31It was, yeah.
09:32My mum's funeral was, was, was amazing.
09:34Like, honestly, it was, it was such a big funeral.
09:37Um, like even the wake, you know, over a couple of thousand people showed up to me, to, to my mum's funeral.
09:42And we couldn't believe it.
09:43We were shaking hands for like six hours nearly.
09:45Yeah.
09:46Um, it was, but it was great to see it.
09:48You know, you saw so many people from Sligo and so many people that you'd recognize the face.
09:52Oh, your mum was amazing.
09:53And they'd all have a little story and they'd tell you.
09:55Really?
09:56Um, and it was great to see it.
09:57And my dad was like, this is class.
09:59You know, like he, he was like, you know, she deserves this.
10:03Like this, she would have, she would have loved this.
10:05And so many people actually did care about her.
10:07Yeah.
10:08Um, but again, my dad was like, even, even my dad said to me a few weeks actually before
10:12he died, he said to me, um, you know, I'm glad your mum got the big funeral.
10:17Did he say that?
10:18You know, he said it to me, yeah.
10:20And, um, you know, we were, we were going to, we were going up to the grave one day.
10:25He used to like going to see the grave and he used to love driving.
10:27He used to bring him out in his car and driving.
10:28We'd all bring him for little spins, whatever around Sligo.
10:30Um, and we brought him up and he said, um, coming back from the grave, he said, uh, he's just out of the blue.
10:39Like, and he'd never really say, Oh, I love your mum.
10:41Right.
10:42I love her.
10:43And he'd never say that to me, but he said, he just said, they say that time heals a broken heart.
10:48And he says, I don't know about that.
10:51Oh, do you know?
10:52Oh Lord.
10:53And I was like, I was like, Oh dad, I was like, that was his way of saying I'm absolutely heartbroken.
10:59Yeah.
11:00But he didn't say it.
11:01He just, and I said, where'd you hear that?
11:02And he goes, that's, that's from a Jim Reeves song.
11:04You know, I can't stop loving you Jim Reeves, some beautiful song, but that's one of the lines in it.
11:10So that was his way of saying, and that was only like a couple of weeks before he died.
11:13Do you think they're together?
11:14Oh, absolutely.
11:15Do you?
11:16Do you, are you a religious person?
11:17Do you?
11:18Oh, absolutely.
11:19Yeah.
11:20So you pray to them for them.
11:21You think they're in heaven or all the time, all the time.
11:23Um, even today, like, you know, I see little Robins and stuff and, and I was coming in the gate today before I left to drive up and, um, a Robin just flew straight, like straight in front of the car.
11:33Like literally straight in front and landed beside a bunch of daffodils.
11:37Really?
11:38Honestly, like it was.
11:39And what was that for you?
11:40Eh, that was my mum.
11:41Get away.
11:42Like, to me, that was like a sign from my mum.
11:44You see, you take the signs from whatever makes you feel happy.
11:48But that to me today, and she was chirping away.
11:50She was like, oh, you know, do a late, late show.
11:52You better be good tonight, you know.
11:54You speak fluent Robin now, right?
11:56Yeah, absolutely.
11:57Yeah.
11:58It's, uh, look, anything that gets you, that makes you smile, uh, Brian is, is nice.
12:02I understand.
12:03You know, it's so kind of you to come in tonight and speak so, uh, honestly and warmly about your parents.
12:08And, um, I know that the Irish Cancer Society, as we're talking about the daffodils and you're sporting it tonight, and that's what it's all about.
12:15And the wonderful volunteers.
12:17That's why you're here.
12:18Absolutely.
12:19It's, it's such an important, um, it's such an important service, Ryan, because when I was asked to do it, obviously, you know, you hear about people with cancer, you hear about all the different stories, um, and it's terrible.
12:31But the daffodil foundation, it's, it's all about kind of the service, services to help you get through cancer.
12:37Yes.
12:38To help you deal with it, to help deal with the shock.
12:40Yes.
12:41Of getting it, whether it's talking to a volunteer or talking to a professional.
12:44And somebody goes like, what does this mean for me?
12:46The people must be, cancer must be very, you know, it must be a very scary place to hear that, to hear that word, like 44,000 people a year here, you've got cancer.
12:57And then you have people in the society who offer reassurance.
13:01Absolutely.
13:02Just to pick up the phone and go, listen, I'm not feeling well or whatever it may be, or even having a night nurse come to visit you or the bus, you know, all these little things are, it's helping people deal with the process of cancer.
13:13Because it's, it's a battle.
13:14It's a battle from day one and it's probably the scariest thing to ever hear.
13:18But every, everybody watching tonight is going to be affected by cancer or probably going to be affected by cancer in some way, whether it's happened already or whether it's going to happen tomorrow or next week.
13:29They're going to be affected by it.
13:30And if this service is gone, all them little things that are so important are gone with it.
13:36And it's all funded by charitable donations.
13:38Like people watching tonight.
13:39People watching tonight.
13:40Absolutely.
13:41It's like, and it's buy a daffodil or buy a teddy bear instead of buying an Easter egg or buy, instead of buying two Easter eggs this year, maybe buy a little teddy bear or whatever, make a small donation.
13:50But it's amazing how, how far that will go to keeping this, keeping this alive and keeping it going every year.
13:56Yeah.
13:57And it's something that I'm going to do.
13:58It's like, for me, this is, this is the start of it.
14:00You know, this is something that's always going to be close to my heart.
14:02Yeah.
14:03And daffodil day is always going to be that special day.
14:06And so, you know, hopefully, hopefully people will just support that.
14:11I think they will.
14:12They're pretty good out there.
14:13Can we hit you up for a song later on?
14:15Would you be okay with that?
14:16Absolutely.
14:17I'll try.
14:18We couldn't have you here without it.
14:19Thanks for coming into us tonight.
14:20It's great to see you.
14:21Cheers, Ryan.
14:23Cheers, Ryan.
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