- 6/15/2025
Category
🎵
MusicTranscript
00:00You're living in a bubble, you're living in a dream.
00:17I was 18 when we started, catapulted into this superstardom.
00:23Look at us now! Look at us now!
00:26Because I loved what we did for seven years.
00:30And now it was being taken from me.
00:31Do boyzones still exist? I don't know.
00:34The world we just lived has disappeared.
00:37What is my new world?
00:39Who the fuck am I?
00:41Although nothing has been confirmed officially, it's all gately.
00:44Everything had changed. Everything had changed.
00:47I should have gone back. I know that I should have gone back.
00:52To get those years would have been everything.
01:00Boyzone is over forever.
01:13My Paul Martin.
01:14Yeah. Fuck you hell.
01:15Boy Zone is over forever by Paul Martin.
01:20Yeah, fucking hell.
01:23Just reading what he told me, I mean, that is just...
01:26This really sums up how pissed off Shane was with Ronan.
01:32Honestly, all you had to do was talk to me about how you feel about Ronan and off he went.
01:38I was angry at Ro for years and I found myself in this dark world.
01:43It didn't take a lot to upset me and it would come out in any environment, any space, live TV, to concerts, to interviews.
01:54Do you get upset that they keep saying nasty things about you?
01:56No, you know what, so be it. We're all getting on with our lives.
02:01Boy Zone, I don't think, are going to get back together pretty much.
02:03And if the guys want to get back together, you know, wish them the best, I hope they do well.
02:07We had decided to take a year off and then get back together.
02:11Thank you very much.
02:12Ren and King's in it.
02:12But one year later, I couldn't see it happening.
02:16Can you have one of your thoughts?
02:18A bad lemon. Oh, a ball's lemon.
02:20Ball.
02:24What did you all take before you came?
02:28I was getting plenty of work, but it just wasn't fulfilling my dreams, I suppose, my goals.
02:35I really wanted to perform.
02:36I had to get out. I had to find something. I had to find something that gave me a bit of hope in life.
02:48Growing up, cars are with my life.
02:50My dad working as a car mechanic, me lying under any car, under any bonnet, it's who I am.
02:59I was blessed with an opportunity to drive in a show called Autosport Show.
03:05The best in the world were there. And this dickhead came toward in that race. And from there, I got signed to Ford Motorsport.
03:17When you stand on stage, that energy that you've got, I got that from cars.
03:26In Boyzone, I lacked purpose in my own mind. All of a sudden now, shit, this is your time to shine.
03:32Here she is, my one and only, Shelly Unwin.
03:40Shelly, this is my mate, Clarence McCarthy.
03:42Shelly, good to meet you.
03:44Yeah, as well, in case you do.
03:45Out of the blue, I got a phone call from Coronation Street.
03:50Out of my comfort zone, to say the least, but nevertheless, I gave it my best shot.
03:56I went into Corrie for two or three episodes. I ended up staying on and off for ten years.
04:00Drink's over.
04:02Coronation Street gave me an identity. It gave me belief in myself. It gave me confidence.
04:07All of a sudden, I was somebody. That was Keith Duffy. It wasn't the big one in the back with the broken teeth.
04:13Now, did you watch your pal?
04:15Keith, yeah, I did, yeah. I thought it was fantastic.
04:18And do you all still keep in touch?
04:20I haven't spoke to Roland in a while, or Mikey.
04:22Just that you're all so busy, you know, doing your own thing. You know, it's quite hard.
04:27I'd always make time for Boyzone.
04:28After my solo album, it was very, very difficult, more difficult than I thought it was going to be.
04:36You know, quit for about a year, came back and done some theatre.
04:40I loved doing that, but I just felt it really difficult being on my own and, you know, being with four guys who you consider your brothers and then just kind of not seeing them for a long time.
04:52It was unbelievable here in the noughties. Madness.
05:09My manager, Louis, at the time, is saying, record company are pushing you. You've got to make the album. You know, we need the album made.
05:18I was very hungry and I wanted to be great and I wanted to have my opportunities, so I kept going.
05:24But it was quantity over quality.
05:25I had loads of ideas for him as a big, middle-of-the-road artist.
05:33He appeals to older women and stuff.
05:36And there's nobody better.
05:38That was his market. That was his lane.
05:40It just, he, he, he just got it wrong.
05:42He just made the wrong choices.
05:45He didn't even know where the fuck I was.
05:47I opened in Sydney to 10,000 people. He didn't know I was on tour.
05:53Get ready for another TV phenomenon.
05:55Pop stars The Rivals is coming in autumn.
05:58Well, it's good, it's good. We are going to get good singers at the end of the day.
06:01Louis became a TV personality.
06:05He was given that chance because he was the manager of Boyzone.
06:09And that obviously gave Louis an opportunity, but that took a lot of his time.
06:13I was on the phone to Ronan all the time.
06:16I talked to him every day.
06:18And he always wanted more.
06:21Things start to fall into place and you realise.
06:24Louis's not a great manager.
06:26I gave him multiple opportunities to fix the problems.
06:31So I went and met him and I said it to his face.
06:33He just said he didn't want to be a karaoke artist.
06:36And he wanted to record his own songs, he wanted to write his own songs,
06:39and he wanted to be a proper artist.
06:42I've got one shot in my career.
06:44And he did give a fuck.
06:45That shocked me, the fact that he wasn't happy with the songs.
06:50They were all hits.
06:51Hey, that's what you're in the business for, having hits.
06:55Just fell on deaf ears.
06:57I always told him the truth.
06:59What was the truth?
07:01You're a lucky fucker.
07:02You know, this is great, enjoy it.
07:05And I remember going in and saying, right, that's it.
07:08And what did you say?
07:10I said, OK.
07:12Nothing I could have done.
07:13I couldn't have changed this man.
07:14It was a divorce.
07:19Battle lines are drawn and you did have to pick a side.
07:21I picked Louis.
07:24I knew Westlife were going to be bigger than Boyzone.
07:26It was in my own selfish interest.
07:28But you had to pick somebody, and Louis made that very clear.
07:33It's this monumental shift in the media.
07:35Just the language in the newspapers changed, and he was demeaned and diminished.
07:42I called him talentless and different things here and there in the press.
07:47He knew how to hurt me.
07:49Vicious fucking bitchy, vicious, horrible things.
07:52He tried to ruin me and my career.
07:59Do I regret it?
08:00Yeah, a little bit.
08:02Do you think he knows that you regret it?
08:03No, he doesn't know.
08:06It was an incredible show of the strength of somebody who has the media that they think it is.
08:12You are who you are because I made you who you are.
08:18I was with Ronan all the time, you know.
08:21I was there working with him every day.
08:24So it was just inevitable that I would just take over eventually.
08:30Mark Plunkett, thank God for Mark.
08:32I kept my sanity because of Mark.
08:36We had a great time.
08:37Lots of touring, lots of international trips, lots of TVs all over the world.
08:43You're mad busy because you're promoting your new album.
08:47The singles album.
08:48But there's inevitably going to come a point where the sales dip slightly.
08:53You know, the hits weren't quite as big as they'd been.
08:56I made my third album, my fourth.
09:03And things started to slow down a little bit.
09:06He wasn't having hits.
09:10But he's not having any since I left.
09:13At all.
09:14I had done my party trick.
09:17And maybe I'd done it a few more times too much.
09:20And I needed to figure out again who I was, you know, where I was.
09:25So my compass kind of went back to north.
09:31To the boys.
09:322006, Gary Borrow was putting Take That back together.
09:46So I went along to see the show.
09:50All the fans noticed me.
09:53And the whole place started chanting my name and clapping.
09:56And I was like, I thought I had been completely forgotten about.
10:01So that was quite a surprise.
10:08And then when I seen their show, I was kind of feeling the bug again, you know.
10:14We just slowly but surely got to chat again to each other and little kind of whispers here and there.
10:23You know, Stephen would definitely be the one that would be pushing it with them.
10:26This is going to be great.
10:27You know, we have to do this.
10:28And just all spiralled into kind of us having a meeting.
10:31Let's get into a room.
10:33That was all.
10:34That's all.
10:34It was test the water.
10:35I was worried about the boys' reaction.
10:43I hadn't seen them for years.
10:46There was resentment.
10:48Bitterness.
10:48I was shitting myself going into the room.
10:52Yeah, 100%.
10:52I was nervous as hell.
10:55Bitterness.
10:57I was shitting myself going into the room.
10:59Yeah, 100%.
11:00I was nervous as hell.
11:01You know, you could feel there was a lot of scars.
11:19People were unsure, unsure it was going to work.
11:22Unsure they wanted to do it at all.
11:25The rage that I had with Ro.
11:28In my mind, when I saw him, I was going to fucking destroy him.
11:32I was going to abort him.
11:34Very, very, very spiky.
11:37That first moment, walking into the room again.
11:40I was fuming.
11:42And when I saw his face, I could do nothing but hug the fella.
11:46Oh, I'm just going in.
11:46Oh, I'm just going in.
11:47What's going in?
11:47What's happening?
11:49I'm just going, dude, like, I miss you.
11:52That actually gave me a good insight to,
11:55it's not always as bad as you think in your mind.
11:57I would just like to apologise if anything I have said or done
12:02in the past seven years has hurt or affected anybody
12:05in a negative or unhappy fashion.
12:08I wasn't the reason the band broke up,
12:10but I was definitely the reason the band didn't get back together
12:12before, you know, and I apologise for that.
12:13I made choices that I'm not proud of.
12:17I left them behind.
12:21For success.
12:25I did have blinkers on.
12:26It didn't end right.
12:29We need to do it right.
12:32Aston if he thought there was any scope
12:34for the band getting back together.
12:36Things haven't always been as good as they are tonight.
12:39It was great going in so successful as an actor,
12:42but every now and again you'd get a surge of memories.
12:45The audience being blown away.
12:48And you'd go, wow, I'd love just one more chance.
12:53Maybe this could work now if we're all really on the same page.
12:57You know, it was there for the taking.
12:59Personally, you know what I mean?
13:01I'd like to do a little something.
13:03I really fucking missed all of you.
13:05I mean, I think it's just amazing being here.
13:07I mean, it's bad.
13:09It excited me, you know?
13:11I think everyone was kind of,
13:14let's do it, let's do a tour.
13:16Let's get to see if people are bothered with boys on anymore.
13:29Admission sequence start.
13:31Bye, Shalom.
13:32Shalom.
13:32Bye.
13:36Who's idea were those fucking outfits?
13:38Oh, my God.
13:49Our first performance in eight years.
13:53We're climbing underneath the stage
13:55to go on these trapdoors to be sprung-loaded onto stage.
14:00So nervous going up in that lift
14:02and kind of going, oh, my God, I don't know where I'm going.
14:04It's like it rubbing the headlights.
14:06You get a panic attack.
14:08You get this kind of, oh, shit.
14:12And it's amazing.
14:17I remember that excitement.
14:20How we felt in that exact moment with that countdown.
14:24You can feel the breath.
14:25You can feel the energy from a crowd.
14:28And you cannot imagine what that's like.
14:30It's unreal.
14:31Oh, man, that gives me goosebumps.
14:42I couldn't hear the first two songs, to be honest,
14:56because the crowd was so loud.
15:01I'm not there for glory.
15:03I'm there to go, look at all you people
15:05and look at the joy that we can bring you.
15:08Why'd it take me so long just to find
15:11what the prayer that was there all along?
15:19We designed a moment.
15:20Everybody would get their own little moment.
15:22And I think that's why it felt so different.
15:23I felt a part of the band for the first time.
15:30You think that I don't even mean
15:34That my efforts were being appreciated.
15:39That we could now really be a band.
15:41We'd fill each other's spaces
15:45without even thinking about it,
15:47without even looking at each other.
15:49If Shane was out far right,
15:51you know, I'd see him starting to move in.
15:52If Mikey was in the middle,
15:54he'd move over to fill my space
15:55and you'd just fill each other's voids.
15:59And it's a real art.
16:03We're back.
16:05We were back.
16:05I just felt, you know, unbelievable.
16:10That was pretty magic then.
16:13Getting the band back together.
16:18That reunion tour was huge.
16:21You know, multiple nights in arenas.
16:23Then when they got back together,
16:25they asked me to take over the managing.
16:27I was glad to be involved.
16:28I'd been there since day one in the UK.
16:32And, you know,
16:33I didn't want anyone else
16:34to carry on writing those chapters.
16:37See, we're the vocal harmony group we are.
16:39We're not a boy band, right?
16:41The plan was then to, you know,
16:42work on a new album.
16:44Everyone was in a great place.
16:47We, as a collective now,
16:49had more control over the music.
16:52For the first time,
16:53I was enjoying the music
16:55that Boyzone was doing.
16:57It was 15 years to do that.
16:58It was 15 years to do that.
17:0107 to 09 were the best years of the band.
17:04We were the most comfortable
17:05in our own skin
17:06that we'd ever been.
17:08As soon as I get in a room
17:09with them boys,
17:10I'm the silliest fella I was back
17:12when I was 17, 18 years old.
17:13It's just kindergarten kids.
17:16It was absolutely brilliant
17:17to be back with those fellas.
17:19Like nothing had changed.
17:20Like nothing had changed.
17:22Who farted?
17:23Please.
17:24Who farted?
17:25Just seemed to share
17:27even more laughs
17:28than we had before.
17:31I don't know,
17:32just a better understanding
17:33of each other.
17:34You've got to get this right.
17:34Go on, go ahead.
17:36Some people really came in
17:37through Rome,
17:38Stephen in particular.
17:39Hang on, let's do it again.
17:41It was the best version
17:43of him I'd ever seen.
17:44The other guys have got girls
17:46to dance with.
17:46You've got a bloke.
17:47Yeah.
17:47I don't have to be true to myself
17:48and that's how it turned out
17:50and I think it works beautifully
17:51with the song.
17:53He was looking great.
17:54He had a book going.
17:56He had met someone new.
17:57Andy.
17:59They were just in love
18:00and got married.
18:02Very happy.
18:04Everything was going as planned.
18:06Presumably you're going to be
18:07working on new music together.
18:08First single's a brand new song.
18:09And you have it already?
18:10Yeah, well we think so.
18:11We had done the better tour.
18:13We had new songs for a new album.
18:14And that brother album
18:15is our finest hour.
18:18Everybody was really, really happy
18:19and in a good place.
18:21It's a blessing.
18:22Be given a second chance.
18:24And I'm loving every minute of it.
18:38My phone rang.
18:39It was a solicitor by the name
18:43of Gerald Keane
18:43who Boyzone had used in the 90s.
18:46Phone rang.
18:48Picked it up.
18:50And Gerald Keane says to me,
18:52I, uh...
18:54I'm sorry.
18:57I'm sorry to tell you
18:58what Stephen has passed away.
19:03And I said,
19:06Stephen who?
19:09And, uh...
19:11He said Stephen Gately.
19:17The Boyzone singer Stephen Gately
19:19has died while on holiday
19:20on the Spanish island of Mallorca
19:22at the age of 33.
19:23I had to call Louie and the guys
19:30and give them the news.
19:38It was late.
19:40We were in the bar.
19:40We were drinking.
19:41And as I left the crowd,
19:44Ro's voice came louder
19:46in my phone.
19:47He's like,
19:47Steele, Steele, he's gone.
19:48I said,
19:50what, our Stephen?
19:52He said, yeah.
19:53He said, he's gone.
19:55It just wouldn't go in.
19:56What?
19:57What?
19:58No, no, no, not our Stephen.
20:00Now I hear him screaming.
20:02I'm freaking out.
20:04You still hear him.
20:09Can't breathe.
20:11Your legs got from under you.
20:14It would get through
20:15in little bits
20:17and then it would be complete
20:19just breakdown.
20:24My wall just fell apart.
20:31Numb.
20:38We tried to put a plan together
20:39to get down to see Steele.
20:42Our instinct was
20:43just to get together.
20:45So that force
20:46of companionship
20:48and that force of like,
20:50okay, where are you?
20:51How can I get to you?
20:52What do you need?
20:53I couldn't tell you the journey.
20:54Couldn't tell you anything.
20:56I just know
20:56we got on a fucking plane.
21:01I just know
21:02we got on a fucking plane.
21:03The body of Stephen Gately
21:13was found by police officers.
21:14So far, Gately's family
21:15have made no comment.
21:15What happened,
21:16what caused Stephen Starr's death
21:17on Saturday
21:18remains unexplained.
21:21Miriam got me on a flight
21:22to Mallorca
21:23the next morning.
21:25I get out there
21:26and it is heaving.
21:27There was press everywhere.
21:32It was crazy
21:33having the boys there.
21:34They just couldn't move.
21:35It was horrible.
21:36It was horrible.
21:38The kind of cesspit
21:39of journalism
21:40that sometimes
21:41it can all descend into.
21:43Paul,
21:43what can you tell us?
21:44What's the latest?
21:45Well, Karen,
21:46there's been quite a lot
21:47of movement here
21:47at the apartment.
21:48This is the apartment
21:48just beyond me here
21:49where Stephen
21:50actually passed away.
21:52Suddenly,
21:52it's immediately like,
21:54get the story.
21:55What has happened?
21:59What has happened?
22:01Nobody really speaking
22:02in the boys' own camp
22:03officially yet,
22:04but obviously,
22:05there's quite a lot
22:05of speculation
22:06behind the scenes.
22:08So then you're starting
22:09to get around the hotels
22:10and what clubs was he in
22:11and you're trying to
22:11put this together.
22:12He was found by police
22:13and taken here
22:14to one of the island's mortuaries.
22:15Although nothing
22:16has been confirmed officially,
22:17it's thought Gately
22:18and his partner
22:19arrived back here.
22:20You know,
22:20we had no idea
22:21what happened to him.
22:23You know,
22:23it's only what we've read
22:24and, you know,
22:25in the press and stuff.
22:27Conspiracy theories
22:28are running wild.
22:29All the reporters,
22:30they're exchanging stories.
22:31Well, I heard this
22:32and I heard that.
22:33Lots of innuendo,
22:34lots of chatter
22:35about the circumstances
22:36around his death.
22:37Some of the rubbish
22:38that was written
22:38was just horrible.
22:40The worst for me
22:41was they were saying
22:43it must have been drugs.
22:46I was, like,
22:47screaming inside
22:48because, like,
22:49I knew
22:49there was absolutely
22:50no way.
22:51It was quite incredible,
22:53the most ridiculous articles
22:56that were written.
22:57There was one in particular.
22:59Stephen's sexuality
23:01had led to his death.
23:03If he's gay,
23:04it must mean
23:06that he's got
23:07this incredibly,
23:08you know,
23:09outrageous,
23:10hidden lifestyle.
23:12Oh,
23:13he'd been out on a bender
23:14and overdosed on drugs.
23:17We were hearing
23:17everything.
23:18having known Stephen
23:21for over a decade.
23:23He was the last man
23:24to, you know,
23:25have a hedonistic lifestyle
23:27or a dangerous lifestyle.
23:30It's the first time
23:30I've ever looked
23:30at my own industry,
23:31my own world,
23:32what I'd been part of
23:33and gone,
23:33you scumbags.
23:36My mother
23:36found two men
23:39at the end of her bed
23:41taking pictures
23:41of my parents
23:43as they woke.
23:46Basically broke
23:46into our house
23:47and went up the stairs
23:49and took pictures.
23:52With everything
23:53that was happening,
23:54I was just waiting
23:55for the autopsy report
23:57to confirm
23:58that it was something else
23:59because I knew
24:00it was something else.
24:05Pathologists here
24:05have concluded
24:06that he did not die
24:07as a result of alcohol
24:08no drugs.
24:10He had a heart defect
24:12that nobody knew about
24:14and because of
24:15the heart defect
24:16his lungs filled
24:18with fluid.
24:21We found out
24:22I have the same
24:23heart condition
24:23Stephen has.
24:25Funny how just,
24:27you know,
24:27a little tablet
24:28every day
24:28just sort of
24:30keeps that under control
24:31and if Stephen
24:32only knew.
24:33People
24:33didn't bother
24:34their arses
24:35to really
24:36read up
24:36on what happened.
24:38They just see
24:38the headlines
24:39in the newspapers
24:40and they just assume
24:41that he's
24:42overdosed.
24:44Oh, you're in that
24:44bound with that dead guy.
24:46Did he kill himself?
24:48I've gone
24:48from not to ten
24:50in a second
24:50at times.
24:51You want to insult
24:52my brother,
24:52I'll fucking kill you.
24:54You know,
24:55I don't care
24:55how big or strong you are.
24:57You'd have to kill me
24:58to stop me.
24:58But to hear
25:00that they were now
25:01putting like a name
25:02you know,
25:04to what he died from
25:05makes it a little bit
25:06a little bit easier
25:07just because
25:09it was just
25:10like
25:11you could breathe again
25:12you know.
25:21We brought Stephen home.
25:25Margaret Stephen's mum
25:26asked us
25:27to look after
25:28the funeral arrangements.
25:35We didn't like
25:36the idea
25:36of him being alone
25:38in the church
25:39overnight.
25:40He didn't like
25:41the cold.
25:42He didn't like
25:42being alone.
25:44So we offered
25:45to stay the night
25:46with him
25:47in the church
25:48to keep him company.
25:49when everybody else
25:56left
25:56and there was just
25:57the five of us
25:59there was a great
26:02sense of peace
26:03of unity.
26:12I don't want to say
26:13sadness
26:14because
26:14believe it or not
26:16we actually had
26:17quite a comedic
26:19night
26:20and the usual
26:22joking
26:24that used to go on
26:27in the very early days
26:29when everything was innocent
26:32and naive
26:33for that night
26:35that emerged.
26:38we put easels
26:40all around the church
26:42of pictures of Stephen
26:43and we walked around
26:44looking at the different
26:45pictures
26:45the different smiles
26:46the energy in his face
26:48and we talked to him
26:50we knew what his part
26:52would be
26:52we all knew it
26:53we didn't have to say it
26:54we could feel his voice
26:55and his energy
26:56and we joked
26:57and we laughed
26:58and we talked
26:59about old stories
27:00and what a thing
27:01to share
27:02with those boys
27:03and with Steele
27:04those very last moments
27:06we still had him
27:07you know
27:08in some way
27:09we still had him
27:10just the five of us
27:11together
27:12and you hold on
27:13as long as you can
27:14yeah
27:18but the morning
27:18came around real fast
27:20we had a mass
27:29a special mass
27:30prepared for Stephen
27:31it was really only family
27:33and the lads
27:34and friends
27:35close friends
27:36and when we turned up
27:38at the church
27:38there was people
27:39lined for miles
27:41and miles
27:42there was an ocean
27:47of photographers
27:47as well
27:48flashing away
27:49as we were going
27:50in
27:50so
27:52I went over
27:54to the photographers
27:54and I said
27:55you're welcome to come in
27:56I said everybody
27:57can come in
27:58and they all
27:59like sort of
27:59stepped up to come in
28:00and I said
28:01you can leave your cameras there
28:02and then you can come in
28:04and pay your respects
28:05you know
28:06because you didn't pay
28:07your respect to him
28:08when he was alive
28:09you know
28:11none of them came in
28:13yeah
28:14we can only have
28:20we have so many in here
28:20in the church
28:21and I know we have so many
28:22many people outside
28:23so just thanks to you
28:24for coming along
28:25to share in this special day
28:27to remember Stephen
28:28Stephen was a force
28:31to be reckoned with
28:32a true friend
28:34full of love
28:34and friendship
28:35he brought colour
28:37to the band
28:37and that band
28:39now simply feels
28:40black and white
28:40without him
28:41we're gonna really
28:43miss you brother
28:44love you
28:45we always will
28:47carrying his coffin
28:57with the other guys
28:58you could have heard
29:01a pin drop
29:02and this is on a street
29:07that was the toughest part
29:09to grow up in Dublin
29:10and the height
29:14of respect
29:15that the people showed
29:17for this boy
29:18from their neighbourhood
29:19it broke me
29:23the love he had
29:29was fucking gorgeous
29:30to witness
29:31it's a rare thing
29:33everybody loved him
29:35he was a true pop star
29:38he loved life
29:39you know
29:41he paved the way
29:42for so many
29:42to know it was okay
29:44I mean
29:45I hope that's not
29:46a legacy
29:47what is
29:47when I think of Stephen
29:51all I can see
29:53is
29:53him being
29:55like four years of age
29:57with his little t-shirt
29:58on with Miss Piggy
30:00on the front of it
30:01very innocent
30:02and shy
30:03and just looking
30:04looking up
30:05wanting to give you
30:07his hand
30:07for you to just
30:08take him
30:09just so lovable
30:10and kind
30:11and
30:12you know
30:14just a lovely person
30:16it felt better
30:31to be
30:33in each other's company
30:34than not to be
30:37we decided that maybe
30:46you know
30:47the right thing to do
30:47in Stephen's memory
30:48is to keep going
30:49shouldn't have
30:55the dynamic changed
30:58what it felt like
30:59to be in the band
31:00sometimes it was hard
31:03just to do the gig
31:03the three fellas
31:05and one missing
31:06the void was massive
31:10and it made you feel
31:11so self-conscious
31:12it made you feel
31:13like we were shit
31:14it made you feel
31:15that we weren't
31:16the audience just
31:17wasn't buying us anymore
31:18you know
31:18we went on and off
31:23over the years
31:25that followed
31:25ten years
31:27a couple of tours
31:29never felt the same
31:33for me it wasn't until
31:35he was gone
31:36that I realised
31:37how much
31:38he was the glue
31:39that kept a lot of the band together
31:41whilst Boysen was still
31:45being successful
31:45still selling a lot of tickets
31:46still touring
31:47all over the world
31:48to me
31:50it felt as if
31:52it was time
31:53to take a break
31:54but rather than
31:55splitting up
31:56and falling out
31:57announce
31:58the farewell tour
32:00I'm not saying
32:01anything's flagging anything
32:02but I'm just saying
32:03it got more and more intense
32:07and relationships
32:10broke down within the band
32:13I spotted arrogance
32:15the growth of ego
32:17it just became hard work
32:21people started just behaving
32:26fucking badly
32:27and when that happens
32:30something's going to give
32:32it came to a head
32:36in 2019
32:39I saw it all
32:42I was ready to get the fuck
32:43out of there
32:43it's when the band imploded
32:47I'm always ready Boris
32:54you know what I mean
32:552019 was a tough tour
33:08we went everywhere
33:10I got a sense
33:14that towards the end
33:15people were just
33:16holding on tight
33:17enjoying the ride
33:18having fun
33:19when I can't
33:21I can't, I can't
33:25I've got to sing
33:25every day
33:26I've got to last
33:26two hours on stage
33:27and you know
33:28I've got to be able
33:29to perform
33:29and in Tokyo
33:30I just felt
33:32the piss was being taken
33:33If you're coming tonight
33:40have a great time
33:42because we certainly
33:42are going to have
33:43a fantastic time
33:44see you later
33:44I always found
33:46going on stage
33:47a bit of a party
33:48anyway
33:49it's everyone out there
33:50is having a great time
33:51I needed a great time too
33:53I mean they had been out
33:54all day
33:54and they were drinking
33:55all day
33:55and yeah it was messy
33:58we certainly partied a little harder
34:06than we usually did
34:08it was the end of the road
34:17I think that they interpreted
34:23me as seeing
34:25their carry-on
34:27as infantile
34:28and that is how I've seen
34:32I'm sure if you talk
34:35to any one of the fans
34:36at any one of those shows
34:38they'll tell you
34:39that they had the best night
34:40in their lives
34:40it was the worst
34:42it was the worst
34:43I had seen
34:44in all of our years
34:46so I went at the mall
34:52told them how I felt
34:53it was a tennis match
34:55from that guy
34:56to that guy
34:57to that guy
34:58you're not pulling your weight
34:59like I'm pulling my weight
35:00the job is always done
35:01you know
35:02he's done a great job
35:03and we did our job
35:05the way we did
35:06you know
35:06I gave it all
35:07at my detriment
35:10I gave everything
35:11to be the lead man
35:12you take on most of the work
35:14don't complain about us
35:16who aren't working
35:16as hard
35:17we don't have the opportunity
35:19it's very different
35:21you were the dude
35:22who wanted to be
35:23in the front
35:23so take your fucking role
35:25and do it
35:25it had reached
35:27a complete stage
35:29of
35:30malignancy
35:33I had enough
35:35the next night
35:36the next night
35:36there was a clash
35:37between Keith and Mikey
35:38in the dressing room
35:39there were things
35:40that happened
35:41that were
35:42cruel
35:43and
35:45I'm not
35:46going to
35:48express any more
35:48than that
35:49my mother always said
35:50if you haven't got anything
35:51nice to say
35:51don't say anything
35:52we left Japan
35:56some of us
35:58not
35:59talking
36:00with each other
36:01and yet
36:02we still had
36:03to do the
36:04final
36:05five nights
36:06in
36:08the palladium
36:09all the venues
36:17we played
36:17however big
36:18the venue might have been
36:19we always shared
36:20a dressing room
36:21always
36:22shared a dressing room
36:24and when we turned up
36:25at the palladium
36:26our names are on
36:30different doors
36:30we lasted 25 years
36:33flying on the same plane
36:35in the same cars
36:36the same room
36:37and the final five shows
36:40that we were ever going to do
36:41we were going to do it
36:43on our own
36:44we went through the motions
36:49got through the five shows
36:50a very very big anti-climax
36:52there was no
36:53hollabaloo
36:54there was no group hug
36:56there was no
36:57well done
36:59there was no one
37:00from the record company
37:00walking on stage
37:01with a
37:02ten times platinum disc
37:03and saying thanks for everything
37:04I just wanted to get out of there
37:08get away from that
37:11toxic
37:13environment
37:14the realisation came
37:16that this is the end of the road
37:18it's over
37:20I haven't seen anybody
37:35since that night
37:36that's when I began
37:42to understand
37:43I need to make
37:44some changes
37:46you know
37:46I've spent the last ten years
37:56saying yes
37:57looking after everyone else
37:59making sure everyone else is alright
38:00but only now am I saying no
38:02no I've got to think of me
38:04so that I can be here
38:07to watch my children grow up
38:09for me personally
38:13I wouldn't be able to survive
38:15in that world anymore
38:17I had to get out
38:18and I cannot do that to my family
38:20go back in there
38:21it's an addictive drug
38:25because I took a back seat
38:29for such a long time
38:31over my career
38:32I feel that I still have
38:33so much left to prove
38:34to myself
38:35it's a real head fuck
38:38we've all moved on
38:41I've got Westlife
38:43you know
38:44I've had a great career
38:45in music
38:46so I'm happy
38:48I wouldn't have changed anything
38:51it wasn't perfect
38:53but it was perfect for me
38:54am I done?
38:59I'm gonna go
39:00I'm gonna run
39:01the music and the
39:08stage and the lights
39:10I can leave that behind
39:11but the friendship
39:14I think is what it is
39:16more than anything else
39:17as much as we
39:20had had enough
39:21of being around each other
39:23hello hello
39:23yay
39:25I couldn't bear to lose
39:27any of the boys
39:28I hope you haven't been here
39:29too long
39:30all fucking morning
39:31all morning
39:31I could put his glasses on
39:33too close
39:34too close
39:34how are you?
39:37good to see you
39:38you look like Jane
39:38Elton John
39:39oh man that's mad
39:40you're blind as a bat
39:41I have a lot of anxiety
39:43and I feel a lot of
39:44the pain
39:45stuff that we've all
39:47gone through
39:48but put me together
39:50with them
39:50and that doesn't exist
39:51looking well as always
39:52you too
39:53your hair's lovely
39:53where'd you get it?
39:59kindergarten kids
39:59as soon as they walk
40:03in the room
40:03it's like
40:04we've never left
40:05no no here we go
40:06here we go
40:06here we go
40:07my head's better than yours
40:08I'm keeping it
40:08very nice
40:09cheers lads
40:09it's like we're frozen
40:12in time
40:12I wish them the absolute best
40:21in their lives
40:22I wish them nothing
40:23but happiness
40:24I hold no grudges
40:26no animosity
40:27nothing
40:29however
40:31I don't want to go back
40:35to how I felt
40:39for many years
40:41and to see them
40:44if it were for too long
40:47would remind me of that
40:50and my future
40:52is far too important to me
40:55to waste it
40:57looking back at my past
40:59but I wish everybody well
41:03for me
41:06one of the biggest regrets
41:08is that I clashed a lot
41:10with Mikey
41:11and me and him
41:12are very very alike
41:13the amount of time
41:15that we didn't get on
41:16that took its toll on me
41:18as a human being
41:19you know what I mean
41:19it's really sad
41:20the time wasted
41:21but that's
41:21you can't get those years back
41:23it didn't have to be that way
41:25if we all
41:28had have had
41:29better skills
41:31at understanding
41:33each other better
41:35we're boys
41:36and we're men
41:37and we don't talk
41:39like that
41:40it was never in me
41:41to go
41:41oh lads
41:42I don't feel great today
41:43it doesn't exist
41:44in a man's world
41:45I wish it had
41:46I have parked
41:48all of that emotion
41:49but we were kids
41:50we were kids
41:51I was incredibly
41:52insecure
41:53and I think
41:54we all were
41:55you know what I mean
41:56like that's
41:56they were fundamental
41:57years of you know
41:59growth
41:59multi-mental
42:00mental
42:00fun
42:02fundamental
42:03there's nothing
42:06more therapeutic
42:07than
42:08reminiscing
42:09about the best times
42:10of your life
42:11it reminds you
42:13of how lucky
42:13you have been
42:14the RDS show
42:15the first biggest show
42:16back in the RDS
42:17I'm looking back at that
42:18you know the song
42:18that I used to do
42:19when I pulled my trousers off
42:20it's hard to fucking fathom
42:22do you know what I mean
42:22can you remember
42:23the times with Steele
42:24fucking catapult
42:25is that that
42:26slingshot back to
42:27the 90s
42:28I remember being in
42:29Kuala Lumpur
42:29and I didn't know
42:30if that was South America
42:30or Asia
42:31you and I
42:32with our ghetto blaster
42:32listening to
42:33bleeding Enya
42:34you know
42:34in 94
42:3595
42:35don't tell any
42:36hip hop man
42:37hip hop
42:37I am so grateful
42:45for all that I have
42:47endured
42:47and experienced
42:49good and bad
42:50because it's brought me
42:52to be
42:53the man I am today
42:54every single day
42:58I have
42:58something to do
43:00with music
43:00waking up
43:02with a spring
43:04in my step
43:05the guy before
43:08I joined Boys Zone
43:09was slim
43:10healthy
43:11fit
43:12full of vitality
43:14full of confidence
43:15full of passion
43:17that's the guy
43:21that's returning
43:21there's a great sense
43:27of liberation
43:28I think we'll always be
43:38what we always are
43:40and that's
43:42brothers in arms
43:43boys who grew up
43:47from the fucking
43:48north side of Dublin
43:49that got catapulted
43:51around the world
43:52there could have been
43:54you know
43:55a million other lads
43:57in Ireland
43:57that got in that band
43:58but I don't think
44:01they would have been
44:01as fucked up
44:02as the five of us were
44:03and that's what
44:05made us brilliant
44:06when you think about
44:10it starting off
44:10playing in front of
44:1125 people
44:12on the back of a truck
44:13to playing to
44:15100,000 people
44:16in Hyde Park
44:17how amazing was that
44:19it's a hell of a ride
44:21success
44:22and all of the good times
44:25really do outweigh
44:27all the bad times
44:28these boys are my boys
44:32and I will love them
44:34forever in the day
44:35and when we're together
44:37Stephen Gately is alive
44:39again
44:39and that's what's
44:40the most special park
44:41we did have
44:44great laughs
44:45and it's like
44:49looking back at a picture
44:50saying
44:51God
44:52this is amazing
44:52that's our story
44:59it was a good one
45:00they came to you
45:05and asked you
45:06shall we get back together
45:06and do a reunion show
45:07what would you say
45:08wow
45:11wow that's a question
45:13look I'd be lying to you
45:18if I said
45:18there isn't a spark
45:20of excitement
45:21in my mind
45:22people as far as
45:23the eye can see
45:24and the roar of the crowd
45:26that
45:26yeah
45:28I would love to experience
45:29that again
45:30who wouldn't
45:31but there's so much more
45:34going on backstage
45:35so perhaps I'll leave
45:37well enough alone
45:38or
45:41maybe
45:42I know I said
45:43I'll never go on tour again
45:45but they stayed there
45:46going on tour
45:46I'm not getting left behind
45:47you're mad
45:48who knows
45:56and
46:07everything
46:08all
46:08and
46:08I'll leave
46:09you
46:09I'll wave
46:14on
46:14I
46:18I
46:20I
46:21I
46:23I
46:23I
46:25I
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